Why You Need To Keep Secrets From Your Partner!

[@TheDiaryOfACEOClips]

Full episode here - kzbin.info/www/bejne/bJrOenp9np1ob9k

[@jho3902]

I see you are DELETING MY COMMENTS. UNSUBBING

[@sreedevi3652]

❤❤

[@DebRingham]

From day 1 of my relationship, I made of very clear that if he was going to play immature games with my life, there’s the door… We agreed to be open and honest about everything, regardless… and we have not looked back in 15 years! We’ve still got that spark! We have date nights, and we have a great sense of humour… We we say ‘I LOVE YOU’, I Feel it because I mean every single word… I (me) LOVE (feel the positive energy in my heart) YOU (The beautiful human being who completes, and fills me with positive energy…. Too many people have lost the meaning of these words, which sound like a meaningless greeting! There’s no frequency, feeling attached, which makes it feel empty… So when you say I LOVE YOU…. Think about why you’re saying it, and feel the positive energy flow when you truly mean it….

[@Spaltyslife]

Thats amazin

[@onward-fp2fz]

I'd argue if your current partner discovers later an ex reached out (however that may be) and that you didn't tell them, that could damage your relationship

[@RickTrajan]

Maybe they should have discussed something that could cause jealousy that's likely to occur before it happened

[@onward-fp2fz]

I'm referring to his example where he states the partner is working around jealousy. Although it may or may not have been "discussed", clearly the person knows their partner would have a problem with it

[@bevh4149]

Agree! It’s something you should disclose to your partner. Not doing so I’d question why!

[@fangedinnocence]

This take is extremely nuanced and it takes some maturity to truly understand where he’s coming from. Plenty of people may interpret this way of communication as an excuse to be manipulative or disloyal. But this isn’t about hiding unfaithfulness or being silent on important topics - this is more about truly seeing and understanding your partner, and communicating with them in a way that supports and respects both of you. We need to avoid getting this approach confused with any kind of disloyalty or disrespect - though I understand why there could be a little confusion there.

[@fangedinnocence]

Examples for clarity: What he IS suggesting - Your ex was a much better lover than your current partner, even though you are much happier in your current relationship. You decide NOT to be 100% transparent about this (and you never tell your partner this). Instead, you focus on ways to explore and improve intimacy in your current relationship. (This would be respectful and beneficial to the relationship.) What he’s NOT suggesting - Your partner wants children. You don’t. You decide to avoid communicating about this because you know it will make your partner upset and you hope they’ll change their mind in time. (This would be disrespectful and harmful to the relationship.)

[@rachaels1136]

Idk. Just be a good person. Don’t lie, especially about the big things But also yes. U have to have a level of trust that even if you don’t tell your partner every little thing that happens every second of the day that they trust you will always make the right choice. If you don’t have that level of trust then you won’t last.

[@nanmcgowen]

No you tell briefly but honestly. The hard conversations are important to build trust. Conflict is not to be avoided at the price of openess.

[@jemjem1393]

Don't listen to this man or do if you want a superficial relationship....marry a mature partner and it's all about timing with facts but yes no need to share every feeling but DO NOT with hold facts from your partner - it should bring you closer

[@EdPrice600]

So listen to guy who researches this stuff for a living or listen to you?

[@jemjem1393]

@ go for it - listen to him 😉 all the science and researchers agree

[@Stringz]

@@jemjem1393 you are correct… at least if you find someone that’s decent. These people are twisted so I’m not surprised they’ve come to these conclusions with the people they’ve been around. Then again maybe I’m just too good and believe in others that are like myself when there aren’t many.

[@Aroundhere185]

Facts

[@djvernski]

I learned a long time ago that just being honest and transparent made me feel virtuous and free. But that transparency instantly damages the one you’re sharing that with. The fact that I felt great for unloading but seeing it cause pain made me realise that it isn’t always the best thing to do. Sometimes omitting something will only postpone it until it surfaces in another scenario. However if you’re living a sound, true and responsible life, these things can be explained. They were given the amount of importance at the time, almost nothing.

[@fluesque]

Steve’s story at the end though was funny 😂

[@lenagraham2093]

I’m laughing at how easily this title gets everyone commenting without even watching the clip 😂 People got some strong opinions about it!

[@Dan-fp3ji]

The podcast doesn't need clickbait it devalues it

[@jho3902]

@@lenagraham2093 we have strong opinions because we’ve been thru it first hand and it’s never ends well.

[@Stringz]

Obviously that’s going to happen with that title, it’s not funny, it’s just appropriate and to be expected. Obviously people have opinions on that. And many people won’t bother watching Because of that title

[@jho3902]

That what my partner did. Hid information to not cause conflict. This ruined trust entirely. Because this is what he did throughout and I always found out

[@Sara-x6t3s]

Yep. My husband did the same. I discovered it all just before our 22nd anniversary. We are currently divorcing and separting after a total of 27 years together. Secrets destroy trust and without trust there is no relationship.

[@jho3902]

@@Sara-x6t3s I’m so sorry. I know the devastation of it all. Mine happened thru out. Little white lies, omission of the info that should have been shared and it started to become bigger lies and after all I’ve been thru with him my reaction to all of it throughout the years with no accountability besides him not wanting conflict he blames me for causing fights and won’t let it go! I’m so triggered by this video (that man) suggesting to the audience that it’s a good thing to keep secrets! WTF! To all these women and men who have lying partners… this man just totally squashes what we all had to go thru. Big hugs to you xx. ❤️. I feel your pain, your heartbreak and the betrayal you have gone thru and are going thru 🤍. May your life lead you to happiness that you’ve never been shown before after you leave your person. ❤️

[@ScreamingDolphins]

I 100% agree. This type of action is usually done by addicts!

[@drcubix]

I wonder if robots in the future would watch these to learn how to be empathetic to each other

[@carljohnson6264]

I feel SHARING is the point of a relationship. And VULNERABILITY is a must for romantic love. Secrets are why my marriage failed. Her motto : what he doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him.

[@sarahbarton4100]

For me, it depends on the 'secret'... I prefer selective disclosure. Or appropriate disclosure. I will be open and honest about who I have seen and conversed with during the day, maybe not the details of the conversations unless I am asked or if it is of interest or relevance. Do I deliberately keep secrets from my partner? Not at all

[@vatop1304]

This guy needs to read Radical Honesty asap. Also, Dr Nicole Lepera needs to be on this podcast.

[@Jewelybee7]

Yes!

[@hellolittleflower]

I do not agree that if an ex contacts you and you keep it to yourself it would be better than to disclose to your partner at that very moment. I would want to know that and I know my partner would want to know that too regardless of what we are going through. Do not keep secret but rather disclose something relevant to your partner.

[@hannahhoffman8840]

I feel like people are getting lost in the sauce in these comments. He’s not saying you should lie to your partner, he’s saying you should consider how what you disclose and when you disclose will affect them. You tell the truth but not if it’s just to make you feel blameless at your partner’s expense and you don’t keep secrets just because you are afraid of their reactions. The type of selective disclosure he is talking about works well once you know each other well and have discussed your preferences in depth…. And everyone does it to some extent (you probably don’t tell your partner what happens every time you go to the bathroom)

[@LetsGoforDabash]

These internet weirdos don't understand relationships Don't let ur past ruin ur present n future n be honest with ur partner

[@Helen-jw6yb]

WHO decides what's relevant?? What's relevant to one partner may not be the other....

[@jho3902]

Why do you even have this person on? I’m leaving a 3 decade long relationship because of lies!

[@Sara-x6t3s]

Seems like they're working overtime lately to push content that destroys long-term relationships.

[@jho3902]

@@Sara-x6t3s I’d like to see his girlfriend/wife do what he suggests. One day perhaps. He will EAT his words.

[@ellierennes9043]

Selective disclosure. New fangled way to name emotional dishonesty that could destroy trust and intimacy (IMO)

[@CotoPaxi77]

Cool cool cool. Because yeah we all got into committed relationships by keeping secrets to "protect" the other. Can I please be protected from the lies and deception as well?

[@seat2d]

Public life, relationship life and private life. We all have secrets.

[@Stringz]

That sounds really healthy 😂 wtf

[@GoldenBoyJOE]

People in this comment section are getting a bit riled up and its unwarrented...he explicitly lead with "assuming you have discussed boundaries with your partner" and then gave the examples. His point is you dont need to tell your partner every little single thing assuming youve discussed what is required and what isnt. To some extent this is true as too much negative reinforcement can also destroy a relationship. Ultimately the important part of maintaing a solid relationship is intimacy and that requires integrity but not all people are the same so the degrees of that intimacy will vary from person to person and relstionship to relationship...the internet has got everyone so pressed on this all or nothing, black and white thinking which is ridiculous

[@nanmcgowen]

You don’t get it still… to her its not the trash… its how she may feel you don’t appreciate or care about her…. And what she does to honor you…Aren’t thoughtful of her…

[@RickTrajan]

Do not overwhelm people, especially the people you want to get along with.

[@benniejohnson81]

Key word here is “partner.” Relationships with partners could mean 100 different things to 100 different people. So it is a moot point. Otherwise, the secrets would be between a married couple. I was married 42 years to the love of my life and lost her to a battle with cancer. I’m weighing in on this: secrets are a bad idea.

[@lazygamingperson]

Ya nah Secrets destroy your relationships. Take responsibility and accountability of your actions. You should share everything, even if it's uncomfortable. Being transparent, honest, truthful and having integrity is basis to a long lasting relationship. Lying will destroy trust and cause pain. I know, I am in that broken relationship that was caused because of lies. My husband's lies.

[@taahirkamalchagan4018]

Flames 🔥

[@brittanyb2255]

Secrets Kill

[@Nuk9824]

I don’t agree at all you basically saying be sneaky by not disclosing you’re talking to your ex but I understand the other example

[@sudhinautiyal]

This is hilarious !

[@lesleyhoban6559]

Yes .. u dont want to hurt their feelings ... partner may not see the big picture

[@Sara-x6t3s]

The definitely won't if your hiding things and lying, like this idiot suggests.

[@LetsGoforDabash]

Big picture ??? Lol

[@Sara-x6t3s]

Yikes! This is the absolute OPPOSITE of what anyone should do if they want a loving long-term relationship. Talk about immature. Basically a narcissistic relationship or some other psychotic disorder.

[@EdBarton31]

This seems like training on how to be a simp: Make sure you apologise regularly at least 100 times a day just to keep her from getting upset. If shes upset because you apologise too much then tell her you're sorry.

[@Minimax04]

I couldn’t disagree more with this. Secrets and lies come back to haunt you in the end. SOME things are probably better left unsaid, but that is different to being secretive and even deceitful. Don’t do it.

[@elizabethquestions]

TRASH IS A BIG DEAL 😂😂 He should apologize for that! Lol Seriously, I like some of the stuff this guy says, but I’m not sure h he gives the best relationship advice. Likely, trash is his ONLY household chore and he doesn’t understand why it’s a big deal. If his wife does all the other chores, it seems inconsiderate if you don’t do your one chore.

[@NewbTube69]

This is sad. This channel is on a tear of bad videos. I'm about to unsubscribe

[@australiangirl850]

Maybe a female partner might be sharing about ex trying to reconnect with her because the attention is unwanted & she feels unsafe because of his increasing efforts to try to reconnect with her? Shouldn't she share about it with her partner if it actually upsets her? 👀 As to the end of this Clip. That was cruel Steven... yikes! 😅 But

[@KaliFissure]

So you are hawking dating guides. And not telling everything is not the same as keeping secrets. A secret from a partner is gaslighting. You are promoting gaslighting.

[@lovechelji]

He’s a narcissist

[@LetsGoforDabash]

Totally agree

[@Sara-x6t3s]

Hiding things like this will destroy any possibility of a healthy relationship. I mean if your partner has an issue with trust due to prior infidelity, lying about speaking to or seeing an ex is the polar OPPOSITE of what anyone should do. Good grief! Did I actually just hear you suggest that LYING about things is good for your relationship? What a moron!

[@JEBavido]

This man is very unwise.

[@SummerFace]

🤍💖🤍💖🤍💖 I like this guest this is funny and cute