Why You Should NEVER Sign a Jewish Wedding Contract...BEFORE READING IT!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Here's two more of my Jewish wedding videos! kzbin.info/www/bejne/bGHIaqSXbZ6Ij9E and kzbin.info/www/bejne/fKbGlmmebMZ-Y8k

[@joyRM8]

You know what I like the most about Marion? You can ALWAYS hear a smile in her voice.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I appreciate that so much Joy!

[@victoriaperkins7219]

Being a practical person, I find the Ketubah a source of security, common sense and guidance. Thank-you.

[@Nannerchan]

My parents have passed, and I have their ketubah. It is in Hebrew. My grandfather included a provision that if my father ever divorced her, he would have to pay her one million dollars. Fortunately, they stayed together.

[@dehende07]

I love it.....your grandfather was definitely looking out for his daughter, 👏💯💯💯

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Wow, love that!!

[@americanbobtail1]

Well if they did get divorced and did not live in Israel all he would have to do is get a legal civil divorce and not provide a Get and she would not get $1 million.

[@Catsarefab]

I am not Jewish but find your docu videos so interesting, we can all learn something new!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you!

[@harrynelson7434]

18 years ago I signed our katuba. Six months before my actual date of my wedding. It is displayed prominently in my home and I feel like I'm blessed to have that connection with my awesome wife. Just as aside, katuba is English and Hebrew.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Love that!

[@Nikki-ks6wi]

I’m Christian but we signed a document that was inspired from a Ketubah and during hard days it’s so great to read the contract to remind me of my commitments to my home my family and most of all to God

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Wow that's so cool!! Thanks for sharing!

[@helenalewis1666]

That is so great for you, I'm Inspired it

[@Deimian676]

@@MyJewishMommyLife so for nikki does this make her jewish?

[@Jewgirl2911]

We just had a Jewish renewal ceremony under the chuppah for our anniversary this year - my husband is Jewish and I’m in the process of conversion - so it was extra special to have a Ketubah and be a part of this beautiful tradition.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That is so lovely!! Mazal Tov!

[@janetsmith3266]

I am getting married in 2 weeks and my conversion to Judaism is underway. It won't be complete before my wedding, but We had a beautiful custom Ketubah made with egalitarian Reform Judaism language, no "according to the laws of Israel and Moses..." It's so beautiful and personal to us, in our colors, our sentiments, our heaarts. You know, You acan get more than one ketubah! but don't get me started. HA!

[@Jewgirl2911]

@@janetsmith3266 Mozel Tov

[@debbiec4224]

So interesting! I enjoy hearing about Jewish traditions. Thank you for sharing!

[@JLO1023]

This is very interesting. I’m a divorce lawyer and we put in the settlement agreements for Jewish parties that the parties have to cooperate and obtain the “get.”

[@vivianpowell1732]

Have you ever had to take an opposing party to court to enforce such a "cooperate and obtain the get" provision in a domestic relations agreement?

[@JLO1023]

@@vivianpowell1732 That hasn’t come up for me yet, but would be interesting!

[@vivianpowell1732]

@@JLO1023 I'm a retired lawyer. Years ago a family court judge refused to approve such a settlement provision dealing with the ketubah, because his belief was that ultimately the provision would not be enforceable, on separation of church and state grounds. In essence he didn't believe a civil court could force a party to submit to a religious proceeding before a religious tribunal. Fortunately the husband voluntarily obtained the get, so that issue resolved itself in the long run.

[@JLO1023]

@@vivianpowell1732 yes I could see this being the case, but it might depend on the state and/or the judge. I’m not sure. If the party agrees to it, they are more likely to follow through. Sometimes that’s the main goal, and I’ve never seen this issue actually go to court.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

So important and smart!

[@paulatristan8189]

I'm not Jewish but I'd love to hear more about Jewish weddings please😁👍🏼🎉

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Here's another video on it! kzbin.info/www/bejne/bGHIaqSXbZ6Ij9E

[@TheBlackthornhiei]

When my parents converted, they also had a Jewish marriage. The Rabbi told them in case of a divorce, it would by mom's decision to grant it, by destroying the Ketubah. Decades later, they are divorced by law, but mom refused to destroy the Ketubah, so in a way they are still married.

[@kaywol1020]

In many parts of the (modern) orthodox community, it is common, and sometimes required by the misader kedushin, to sign a “halachic prenup.” It’s a notarized document that brings financial penalty by USA law to a husband who refuses to give a get to his wife. So it is incorrect to say that the orthodox community just says “the problem shouldn’t exist.”

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That's a very good point, thank you for adding that! I will say that while that's an option and a work around there still are many who don't have one.

[@marybee4734]

THIS IS SO INTERESTING I LOVE THE WAY YOU EXPLAIN THINGS🥰🦋🦋🦋🌻🌻🌻🐝

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you!

[@gail7138]

I appreciate your explanation.

[@susangroom960]

In the Mormon church, when a couple is sealed for time and all eternity.. If a divorce happens, the man is free to be "sealed" to another woman. A woman needs to be released from her sealing (by the first presidency) before she can remarry in the temple. And that can take a very long time. Awful.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That is so interesting (and also concerning)!! Love hearing about how it works in other religions than you for sharing!

[@susangroom960]

@@MyJewishMommyLife one of the reasons I left!

[@larissacosta2841]

I'm fron Brasil, recently i Discover judaism and i became obcessed With The laws and the undertanding about Good. I Love your Chanel because i'm capable of thinking about The problems and not Just in all The god things. Realy make me feel as a person woo is inside this Word.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you so much I'm glad to know you like my videos!

[@beaherzberg]

Thank you! Getting married in a few months and been frantically looking for a katubah! 🌸💗🌸

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

You’re welcome 😊 and MAZAL TOV!!

[@peachesb-georgia1125]

Thank you... so much important information...

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Glad it was helpful!

[@camcas727]

So informative

[@tracyessary5210]

Good morning Marion nice to see you this fine Thurs!!! have a wonderful day

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Good morning! Thank you so much!!

[@AviFrankel]

Great info - bless you and thank you for your posts.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Glad it was helpful!

[@preciousbees5721]

Required sexual relations being instilled the ketubah sheds light on Leah's struggle with her husband, I'm even sadder now, wow

[@carolshumaker8348]

I had a prenup. that had many similarities to your wedding contract.

[@wessebaggers]

you know so much about your Religion I thinks great !

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you!!

[@margybernard]

Wow! The way you describe the holiness of the marriage makes me think people should enter this covenant with seriousness, so they don’t ever have to divorce; We really shouldn’t break a covenant to G-d.

[@ban6096]

Thank you very much for this important video content. It's terrible when women are 'chained' to petulant, rebellious men. Rabbis should refuse to perform a wedding ceremony for such men until they give their wife a get. I hope that this situation changes for the better for everyone's sake. Anyway, your Ketubbah is very beautiful! Thank you for showing it to us. Barbara

[@freespeechorelse]

Very Good. thankyou for this information. Now that I am older, I am seeing the VALUE of a GOOD marriage and spouse! STORIES about "bad situations" have been around for quite some time! Abigail of the bible as an "illustrator"

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

So true!!

[@Korea4Me]

That was fascinating! I was both hand-fasted and had a civil wedding. My hand-fasting contract is 13 pages long while my husband's is only a page long. LOL

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Oh wow that's so interesting!!

[@margaretkur8161]

What is a hand fasting?

[@GoingGreenMom]

13 pages?!?! I would be interested to know what the stipulations we're that took that many pages!

[@GoingGreenMom]

@@margaretkur8161 I don't want to speak for the person that posted this, but hand fasting is the term for the wedding ceremony in multiple pagan traditions. So I'm not sure how they identify, but as a general, it could be pretty much anywhere in the non-tree of Abraham belief structures.

[@sherryball960]

This is a tragic loophole these unworthy men are taking advantage of. I pray for these women and their children.

[@dinaifraimov4551]

Thank you 🙏

[@philippapay4352]

You and Andrew both look happy at your signing. So if the signing of the Ketubah before the wedding ceremony signifies that the people are married under Jewish Law and in accordance with the requirements of the Jewish religious courts, then the wedding ceremony with the officiant signing a marriage certificate is really just the portion to meet the secular laws of whatever jurisdiction one is marrying within? Is the woman's dowry defined specifically and is it a one-time thing or an ongoing contribution? It's interesting.

[@virginiegagnon-dubreuil3863]

Very interesting!

[@cecilealonso7446]

Interesting. Thank you

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

You're welcome, thanks for watching!

[@vivianpowell1732]

Marion, does having the Lieberman Clause in a ketubah mean that EITHER the wife OR the husband can appear before the rabbinical court to obtain a get in the event of a broken marriage, not just the husband?

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Yes it means that if there's a civil divorce that they accept the decision of the beit din granting a Jewish divorce as well.

[@vivianpowell1732]

@@MyJewishMommyLife Thanks for replying, Marion.

[@ChristcentredNaturalgee]

I found this video ver interesting.

[@SamWest96]

This is so interesting. We had a secular wedding and therefore really you can adapt the vows however you like and the marriage certificate is of course the only thing you sign. Although I would argue that the text is a little sexist in modern times (and I'm sure it suits many still) a marital contract sounds quite brilliant actually

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thanks for sharing that perspective!

[@lindafromnevada2512]

I am catholic, we never signed a contract for marriage. Just a marriage license.

[@loribrown5235]

I love your Hebrew name!!!

[@1Mait]

Where can you find one in English writing

[@dimitardimitrov3177]

May I ask, if the man or the woman is not Jewish but their partner is, can they still sign a Ketubah?

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That depends on the rabbi who is officiating the wedding but yes there are interfaith ketubahs.

[@philosphie6405]

First here ;)

[@sisterspooky]

Although I am reconstructionist, my husband and I had a civil ceremony and no ketubah. My reasoning is that should the ‘worst’ happen and the marriage be untenable, I didn’t want to be at the mercy of the beit din. I’d take my chances in the gentile system. While it pains me to break such a rich tradition… I figure that I didn’t want my fate tied to a decision by the beit din. Why? Because you never know how people will view a situation they’re not intimately involved with. I’ve heard far too many horror stories about women denied their get. So, sadly… I don’t have one. 😔

[@devorahfonn613]

I think it's a huge problem that the man has to give the GET,as you said it gives men alot of power,I think women should be allowed to get a GET without her husband having to give it to her....I think that needs to change in the orthodox tradition

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Absolutely!!

[@brucheweinberger6863]

I don't know which century you think orthodox people live in, but the wife can refuse to accept a get from her husband. My uncle's second wife refused to accept one for about 5-6 years until he threatened her that he will get a "heter maya Rabbinim" i.e. a signed doucument signed of 100 Rabbis that my uncle(or any man) tried in good faith to give a get and his wife refused to take one. She quickly accepted the get after that because if not, halacha wise, she would still be "married" while he had a right to remarry. (He still hasn't) Are men refusing to give a get a huge problem? Of course, it is. I am forever grateful for my father giving a get for my mother so my mother did not go through the agony of being "chained" to a husband as thousands of women are. But to think that my uncle was the only man that was "chained" because of his wife's refusal to accept his get, is seriously underestimating this problem. Ironacally, whenever this provision of a wife having to agree to accept a get as part of halacha was put in place, it was to level the playing field. Now whether the get refuser of either gender is generally and abuser and are using halacha to perpetuate further abuse; which would make either gender doing so a monster.

[@devorahfonn613]

@@brucheweinberger6863 that is true but at the end of the day the husband still has to give the get...it would be better if either the man or the women couls give a GET...

[@brucheweinberger6863]

@@devorahfonn613 I hear. But we can't change halacha, we can improve it. The kesubah was 1,500 created to give women more rights. The right to refuse a get was an improvement on the kesubah. I think halachdik prenups should be the next improvement. Will it prevent all get refusal? No. But it will curb lots of them. There are still crazy men that would sit in jail, as the law is in Israel, than give a get to their wives.

[@hindah6137]

We did not sign our ketubah. It was witnessed and signed by two kosher witnesses.

[@yoselinruano5381]

Can you share where your necklaces are from?

[@yerushalayimkodush5706]

I don't need to read the Ketubah of My wedding - The matters in/of the Ketubah and My Wedding; are out of My hand (this time - As it was out of the hands of Adam). I אהבה יה and My Father יה Have written it, in the eternal scrolls of life, and inscribed it upon the hearts of the Children of the House of Jacob / Israel - to choose a perfect Queen for themselves, and then choose their King - to be joined through the flesh and blood of the holy sanctified marriage ceremony. That is: if the house of the children of Jacob \ Israel choses, to know and live with a/Their Queen and King; in their House. I Am The One, I AM המשיע, ירושלים לב יה אהבה החיים בהיי הווה

[@Skatejock21]

Even outside a religious wedding, a marriage is a legal contract. It is government bound. My religion does have a ceremony but we do need a marriage license outside the church. There has to be civil marriage aspect to it. We do perform marriages still, like in Jerusalem. In some countries, you need to be married by the court before any religious wedding. My church has the civil aspect because we believe a time will come when all countries will require a civil marriage first. The way governments today are trying to remove religious freedoms. So eventually we may never perform marriages within the church. We will still have our ceremony but it will be separate. Even if you dont go into a marriage with the intent to divorce. A marriage contract does just that, it keeps you legally bound. However people today, even if they dont want a divorce, they do not marry for the right reasons and it does end in divorce because of it. People do not take marriage seriously. It gets mocked today.

[@jennifermoffett9866]

What if I want a sexless marriage? Can I do that? What about domestic violence? Can I spell out what I consider domestic violence?

[@shainazion4073]

Why bother getting married?? If you don't want children, and you think that this person might be involved in domestic violence, why get married?

[@RafaelRomero-vx1fd]

How do you spell your Hebrew name? Sorry if this is nosy, I just think learning about Hebrew names is really interesting 😅 idk why lol. Also, is it considered impolite to ask people what their Hebrew names are?

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I should do a whole video about this! My hebrew name is בריינה

[@brucheweinberger6863]

Isn't בריינה yiddish or maybe I'm confusing it with בריינל-Breindel?

[@deniscioara2394]

Have you ever been to a Christian wedding ? 😊

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I have!

[@TheJazzlass]

❤️👍😃

[@rivkaindig552]

Jews don’t say vows

[@yossifelder6775]

8:19 בריינא is a Yiddish name not Hebrew

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

You're right! My Hebrew name is a Yiddish name but that's not that unusual.

[@kytim89]

You were an absolute beauty in that wedding dress. I'm a gentile, but I am very envious of your husband. Shalom.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you!

[@kytim89]

@@MyJewishMommyLife Your welcome, baby doll.

[@yaffadonath953]

A disclaimer. Nowadays most religious women work many of them are professionals. Also we cannot change a ketuba. Maybe we will change words in the Torah in order to meet our needs in a modern world. There is only one God and one religion and those who chose not to abide by it should not twist it on social media. While everyone has the right to their opinion there are no shortcuts when it comes to the Jewish religion. That is to conform to our times.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I dont thin it would a short cut but I understand your perspective!

[@brucheweinberger6863]

Many women worked in Europe before the holacoust(sp?) too. I'm not sure how this myth that "women at home" was perpetuated but it is a common held belief. My own grandmother helped my grandfather in his printing store, after they settled in Williamsburg after the hulocaust. Not sure if that was the norm, but I would think it was more done than we actually think it happened.

[@shainazion4073]

@@brucheweinberger6863 My Great grandmother had a life besides her 7 children in Polyn. She was an equestrian and rode and trained horses for the wealthy.

[@brucheweinberger6863]

@@shainazion4073 Pretty bad ass!! My own grandmother wanted to attend university after she finished high school. Her mother didn't let her because she was scared my grandmother would become an "old maid" like her university graduate aunt that couldn't find a religious "bucher" or young man that was educated enough to marry her. Unfortanely, the Nazis ran over Hungary the year after that and the rest is history.

[@shainazion4073]

@@brucheweinberger6863 My grandmother came to America in 1921, her youngest sister was born in 1922. My great grandmother rode the Radizwell Horses. My Great grandfather traveled to the US in the early 1900s, he thought it a terrible country, he went back to Polyn. Thank G-d, my Bubi came in 1921.

[@amirchuk1]

I once saw a reform service and it looked much more like a church than a synagogue. This “reform” phenomenon amazes me. For us, the Sephardi-Mizrahi Jews such a thing doesn’t exist. When you encounter a Mizrahi Jew he could be very secular or very religious, but WHENEVER he will practice Judaism it’ll always be in the orthodox way, because for him, he doesn’t know the meaning of the words orthodox, conservative or reform. He only knows the word Judaism. This is because the “enlightenment” movement was only in Europe and not elsewhere where Jews lived like the Middle East or Northern Africa, so this division to orthodox, conservative and reform only exist in the Ashkenazi Jewish world and not the Sephardi-Mizrahi world. In Israel, where about 70% of Jews are Mizrahi Jews, there are about 10,500 “orthodox” synagogues, and just about 40 reform synagogues. Unfortunately, since the reforms in America do a speedy conversion for gentiles not according to Halacha, a lot of them exploit Israel’s law of return to migrate to Israel (because Israeli authorities don’t do a proper background check), thus reducing the amount of Jews in the holy land and worse, causing assimilation since they get married to local Jews who think they’re also Jews. B”H, although the reform movement is the largest in America (but not in the entire Jewish world), when orthodox families have 10 children and reform families have between 0-1 and a pet, the future of world jewry looks promising. Our religion is timeless, and is not subject to contemporary changing social trends.

[@veroniquebronckaerts3533]

Those traditional contracts, even with a clause specifying that "the woman will not treated as a paria if her husband abandons or mistreats her" (wow, progress!) show very well that the women's rights and freedom are still peanuts for traditionalists. And I don't even speak about the kids custody... All if this is unfair and against civil laws. It does not protect women, it enslaves them.

[@brucheweinberger6863]

Considering that the kesubah was instituted 1,560 years ago.... it was considered progressive at that time. Scratching my head that the Rabbis that lived 1500 didn't have the foresight of life in 2022...considering that only about 100+ years ago, women in America were given the right the vote but go ahead bash orthodoxy in name of equality. If you want to accuse me of not knowing how some men in my community are abusive, spare me. I grew up knowing that my father abused my mother even after they divorced and he emointally abused me for years. (My father had a weird hang up that women and girls were not allowed to be phyiscally abuse but had no qualms about emoinatal(sp?) abuse. My brothers weren't that lucky.)

[@veroniquebronckaerts3533]

@@brucheweinberger6863 I don’t blame the Rabbis of ancient times, I blame those who do not admit today times have changed and still want you to live in the dark ages.

[@developer6619]

kaaaajk