Why You Should QUIT Your Dojo (and How)

[@davidcrawford8583]

As a Judoka black belt and Jujutsu black belt at 46 I tried BJJ for two years. The coach was an ego maniac, sending PM's telling me I had to get to training this evening and so on. I quit. It's not the art, but as a man of 48 I'm not being told what to do with my time.

[@sramdeojohn4428]

Some dojo has a slight resemblance of a cult.

[@blockmasterscott]

I experienced this in the 90s. Some of the assistant instructors had this fanatical zeal look on their faces, and the master acted like Thulsa Doom from Conan. It freaked me out so I quit.

[@mizukarate]

@@blockmasterscott Robert E. Howard would respect that!!!!!!

[@jissenkarateyoshukai]

A lot of martial arts classes and organizations exhibit cult like tendencies. I’d say more do than don’t.

[@mizukarate]

Always consider quitting a dojo that is too cultist or dangerous(including dirty).

[@sramdeojohn4428]

People don't realize how a dojo can become like a cult so easy. It is very subtle....

[@mizukarate]

@@sramdeojohn4428 Ya it can easily turn from your favorite place to your hated place. I experienced this.

[@Joelvel]

I quit my first MA school which is Karate. All katas, no sparring and had a cult like environment.

[@theradgegadgie6352]

This has been on my mind of late. My dojo had a brown belt, who has since graded to shodan, who was violently verbally abusive to me over my attendance in front of everyone else. So far as I can see, the sensei did nothing about it. Certainly he did nothing I could see or hear, apart from grade the guy to black a few weeks later. There was never any apology from the brown and the sensei gave me no assurances. I have been on the point of writing my thank you, fuck you, bye letter for some time now and am now convinced.

[@ArtofOneDojo]

Oh geez, yeah that sounds pretty toxic. Definitely, time to reassess if that's the best place for you. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

[@theradgegadgie6352]

@ArtofOneDojo Aye, me too. I cannot train being respectful to this guy and calling him sempai or anything, when all I feel for him is contempt, both for his lack of control and his cowardice for not facing up to it. Sadly, it does mean travelling twenty-five miles each way to my next nearest club.

[@gaijin140]

So I had this last aikido instructor. The every style I started with. Be completely disrespectful. I kept doing what he said. But because I did aikido a different way from a different association and different focus. He thought I had no interest in his teaching. Of course he had poor judgement. I kept asking him questions. I showed up to class. I did as he asked. If I did something wrong I apologised for it. Like any normal person does. So I’m glad I left his class. Because he just did not think I was a good student. No matter how hard I tried. I don’t need that.

[@Zack1440]

Excellent advice. I nearly quit Shuai Chiao after 4 years. I am glad I didn't though and I am glad I talked to my instructor first. I am now 12 years in and about to get my black belt.

[@argoshikan]

Where did you train that?! Awesome

[@herohunted85]

As a teenager blue belt in karate, my sensei moved his doja far away from where I lived. My parents weren't willing to drive me that far so I was forced to quit. Later on I self trained as a hobby in both karate and boxing with occasional friendly sparring with friends. As a very busy older adult with a family, I think I would want to come back if just to have some fun or unrust my very rusted abilities.

[@wildwaymartialarts]

If it helps, the Sengoku Jidai samurai would find a good teacher of often different schools, if they could afford it, or it was their local village/family, or even doing what you did. In fact the first of the dojo culture in the edo period were from ronin retired from the wars, Musashi being a famous example. After seeing egos and a cult, I chose to leave the major organizations and now taking my experiences and developing my own school, after the urging of my wife and a good friend of mine. I understand it's of course hard to determine if you're ready to go to that point. I was mulling it over the last several years. I'd recommend asking those closest to you who are both honest with you and are training themselves, especially if they are teaching, and what their thoughts are. Just remember, belts and ranks mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. Can you do what you wanna teach as effectively as possible? I'd also recommend understanding your mission, your why you're training. For example, bjj is really good for the peace officer. But it's not as good for the average fight. Basically you're not gonna be taken down if you don't play the game. Jesse Encemp actually did a recent video on that, I'd check it out. I want my community to be able to protect itself. I chose Samurai martial arts because they historically understood distance warfare. Basically they started with calvary archers (then later firearms on foot. Couple examples of sniping even) then spear, then sword/knife, and if they were in real trouble, jujitsu. Basically, if you're legitimately a threat I can't escape, I'd use a rifle over a fist, which is a martial art called hojutsu. Gun Samurai actually is a good source on historical hojutsu, but it could include modern weapons

[@ranaylewis]

I was in a tkd class. The tkd ins tructor had a hapkido teacher who is a real jerk yelling and making fun of students. He told us that he do what he wants to do because he had a big ego. This went on for a year and a half. A lot of students quit the school becaus of this clown. The instructor went to an aikijiujitsu class and the instructors explained to him that,if heis going to aikijiujitsu that he has to put on a white belt. He used bad language and he doesn't believe in bowing to the martial arts pioneers who are dead. The head instructor told him to leave and not come back. I'm glad because he would a cancer in the dojo. He paid the price when he opened his own school and closed in a few months with his bad attitude.

[@errolthomas9426]

Served him right

[@camiloiribarren1450]

Love these tips. Sometimes, you gotta think that it’s not quitting but rather, taking a new path

[@ArtofOneDojo]

I love this perspective!

[@RAMartialArts]

In March, I was part of a smallish karate kung fu mix dojo, it ran about 30 members strong. Sadly, I ghosted. And the Seigung or chief instructor did not deserve that. I feel bad about it to this day. My only defense is, had I voiced that I wasn't able to adjust to the demand or level expected so soon, I was afraid I'd be scolded or told to just try harder. So I did try harder with this fear in my mind, and it lead to some health problems.

[@Gritherinthewoods]

I left my last school because I just wasn't getting what I wanted out of it. I was so excited when I joined because I've been wanting to study that style since I was a kid. I lasted about a year. I think I just didn't mesh well with my sifu's style of teaching. About six months later the school ended up closing. I feel bad a little bit for not staying, but now I'm taking online classes of the same style.

[@ArtofOneDojo]

If something doesn't sit right with you, that's usually an indication of something being wrong. Hopefully you're happier with your current training.

[@delawareexpat]

As someone who had make the same decision back in April of this year, I am glad I left where I was to continue training. The old school where I was at was slowing students down in the length of time to achieve each belt level. Granted, we didn't hardly have many students and I had coined the term a "zombie dojo" which means a school that is slowly dying. Luckily for me, there was another instructor who is part of the same Kenpo association with the same curriculum, in the area ,which I did finally end up signing up for classes to continue training to achieve my goals within a reasonable amount of time. With the new school, I am seeing the increase of rate of progression even though I have been with them a short period. Let this video be a guide for your training, if something feels wrong, more than likely there is an issue going on that will hold you back or cause you to be unhappy in your journey.

[@darthgrayson8449]

I am NOT leaving my tkd school but I AM going to cross train in another martial art and told my instructors about it, thay were very understanding about it and even recommended a martial arts place

[@freehermanjose5816]

No instructor likes that.

[@joshuahogan3475]

My school encourages you to cross train after you reach a certain level. The idea being you will either learn something to improve the style as a whole or learn why what you learned works. Win-win either way. May have something to do with how the system was founded, when your Grand Master has 10 black belts it would probably be odd if they discouraged cross training.

[@ArtofOneDojo]

This is not true. Many instructors are fine with, and even encourage, training in multiple arts. Cross-training is very common these days. If you have an instructor that discourages exploration...that's a little bit of a red flag to be honest.

[@joshuahogan3475]

@@ArtofOneDojo Korean styles seem to have the biggest issue with cross training I've noticed. For example, there is a black belt in my system who earned his second degree bb in tae Kwon do and was about to test for his third degree. When he first started cross training with us he was told to stop or they wouldn't allow him to test for his third degree belt. I have also been to tournaments where kuk sool won students participated and they had to be careful not to let the fact they were in the tournament get back to their grand Master for fear of being kicked out. The guy who ran the dojo and took them to the tournament was a third degree black belt!

[@janscrayen9306]

Great video. By coincidence right up my ally. I started karate because of the sensei did also teach classes for kids with autism and other disabilities and I thought being a bit older I would have a chance in his regular dojo. He turned out to be a complete nut case. People would het grades just because they were helping him with one of his other enterprises. Lashing out at people. Even threaten people who might say something bad about him. Completely crazy. In the end I got this threatment as well so I had to quit. Martial arts world is filled with narcisists!

[@jackschitt6235]

During the quarantine I googled a Taekwondo guy I crossed paths with at 15 while taking lessons at a school run by a Korean master who started training in Korea at 7. He was an 8th degree black belt at the time. One of his most successful competitors who could do some very impressive things separated from the master and started his own school. Anywho, he was diagnosed with dementia at 61 and died at 64!

[@ArtofOneDojo]

Yikes, that's unfortunately a bit early for dementia, I'm sorry to hear that.

[@phillipmarlowe0525]

When Master Ken shuts down your dojo time to quit. 😂

[@YoukaiSlayer12]

A few years ago I had to make this decision at a school, that I had a major hand in keeping it running after the initial owner/instructor left. In short between the petty nonsense from the 2nd owner & head instructor & the later 3rd along with the “Soccer Parents”, those who think their kids who just started, should be placed on par with those who have put in the work for 3 months. Then with my own parents health issues becoming more serious. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to cut ties. & it’s been better for me in my growth as a Karateka.

[@ArtofOneDojo]

It's a hard change, but sometimes it's a better one.

[@YoukaiSlayer12]

@@ArtofOneDojo Agreed it truly is.

[@lars309]

Ya I had to make that choice back in 2019. I started training with this teacher in 2013 being in my late 40's. From the get go I stressed I have arthritis in my neck and cannot handle head locks or any neck strikes. My boundaries were never respected and missed work the following day on more than a few occasions. I graded Shodan in 2018. Policy is you get your obi at time of grading but do not get your cert until Christmas to encourage people to continue training. Christmas went, I took a break in Feb, Easter rolls around so I asked my cert. Response I received was I need to learn to endure more. Not cool! I had been enduring constant neck strikes for FIVE years and basically being nothing more than that teacher's uke for 5 years. Being angry I offered to ship my obi and gi back to head office as I'll never put my whites on again, I was offered an apology and issued a cert directly from head office. I did shop around in my area, and due to many McDojos I switched gears and started Northern Pray Mantis Kung Fu. Best decision I ever made

[@tldogmeat]

I had to leave my dojo of 15 years, because my coach was having relations with the female students. You think you know some people... It really was a void in my life, after. Now im too old anyway, for that type of sparring

[@ArtofOneDojo]

I went through something similar. My first instructor did this...and the student was underage so he got in trouble and he ended up selling the school to one of his former assistant instructors. It's a hard change to go through and really disappointing when someone you trusted and turns out not to be the kind of person you thought they were.

[@tobyrey2700]

​@ArtofOneDojo that happened to me too. Ended up driving cross town to another dojo.

[@michaeltrujillo6799]

I have decided to to quit my dojan because it presents itself as a McDojo. I signed a year contract and my contract is now complete. I have found a better non commercial dojan and will start once I have tested for my Purple Belt. I’ll be starting with a new belt system and new testing schedule, every two months instead of every three months. I feel that every two months is better because sometimes you understand the forms faster and better if you don’t get it you can still test in another two months and better understand the material. 🇰🇷🥋❤

[@argoshikan]

Great video! Had a horrible, narcissistic JJJ I instructor who was abusive to students. I’m a big dude and he never messed with me (except kicking me in the nards once when I muscled out of a wrist lock).

[@errolthomas9426]

I hope you went to another Dojo after that

[@modkfmartialarts8663]

Well this definitely made me feel better about my choice been doing jkd and kali for 2 and a half years but after some life events I started to feel drained now I’mma try boxing

[@tonymontana3949]

As i believe some martial arts or fighting systems isn't for everyone i try to learn kali arnis eskrima but in 33 age can't adapted

[@matthewoconnor2742]

Currently quitting my Krav gym, they barely spar and nothing feels like it is very pressure-tested. I pre-paid for the year so not expecting to get my money back. The instructors talk about how this is for self-defense and not really fighting, and if you want to learn to fight you should pick somewhere else, and I'm probably going to do that, I'd like to focus more on being able to fight at this point instead of just self-defense, gonna look for a muay thai gym near me.

[@blaa443blaa2]

I am in a taekwondo club. Vice president . We have a ridiculously small club and I'm a vice president of it mainly because there's no one else who could or would take that position. The club is the original one I joined as a teen and the master is the same black belt who instructed us when I was a teen . I therefore kinda see him as my sensei. I feel obliged to continue in our club eventhough I don't get exactly what I'm searching for in my martial art training. I accompany it by joining a karate club , some krav magaish kind of thing, capoeira and hapkido. ( also some kali type of thing ) . It is not always so straight forward- there can be other things to consider than what you are getting from your club. You must sometimes think of your responsibility as a member towards the club. This is an integral part of growing as a martial artist and a person. Shouldn't our training be about personal growth in the end , not just learning self defence skills / acrobatics ? Our small club is dependant on all of it's members. And this is why we enjoy doing this together. Everyone feels invaluable.

[@mizukarate]

Remember your better off paying monthly, weekly, or daily.

[@ArtofOneDojo]

Agreed. Monthly is completely reasonable.

[@mizukarate]

@@ArtofOneDojo Honestly if your training in a proper dojo or gym monthly is best for all parties. The general rule for any kids activity should be no more than 3 months. Kids lose interest. If your training privately per class generally makes sense for all parties.

[@ArtofOneDojo]

@@mizukarate I absolutely agree. A lot of dojos I feel lock you into the contract so people CAN'T leave. That doesn't show any faith in their service and I feel it's a method of control. A good school should be able to retain students and have no problem with Monthly. Private classes at daily/weekly, fully agree as well.

[@mizukarate]

@@ArtofOneDojo Well I always trained in monthly dojos. I taught in per class situations. It was not my main job and I felt confident in my training methods. So every student got competent training without having to break the bank. This was personally very satisfying.

[@mysteryskate8996]

Thanks for the tip. I came across a gym that had 1month, 4 month, and 6 month, amd 12 month fees, but dang pretty expensive especially the 12 month for $900 plus enrollment fee and uniform fee. If it was monthly i wouldve join but too pricey.

[@PhilipAJones]

I love training, but I will admit there's always that thought in the back of my head "Is THIS really the right dojo?".

[@ArtofOneDojo]

Why do you question that? If that thought is there, might be worth exploring WHY you have that question. It might be something you can resolve.

[@PhilipAJones]

@@ArtofOneDojo I think no matter where I go there will always be a bit of FOMO since I see value in every martial art.

[@ArtofOneDojo]

@@PhilipAJones I think that's actually a good thing. A natural source of curiosity with what others are doing.

[@TheSonic1685]

Hey art of one dojo just need some honest advice, I quit my shotokan karate Dojo but I ghosted them. I couldn't bring myself to go in and explaining why I was quitting because I needed to explain it to the reason why I was quitting which was the woman who runs the front desk and also trains there, plus the lack of sparring until black belt and I found somewhere better. So I mostly ghosted them, however I'm wondering if I should send a message to the head instructor who I've since ghosted explaining to him the main reason I left was the terrible personality of the woman who works at the front desk. He wasn't a bad guy it was her and her partner that was just ruining it for me. She snapped at me, over buying a gi, and asked me way too personal questions about my personal relationships and she said I hated women because I didn't want to be friends with an ex partner and her own partner thought he could beat me up. So I got out of there. What do you think? Should I get in touch and explain it to him?

[@ArtofOneDojo]

How long has it been since you left? If it's been a while, it may honestly be better to let it go and know that you probably made a good choice, especially if you found somewhere you like better. If they are questioning you or it's fresh then maybe talk to them but if you ghosted them and it's been a long time...then it may be best to just keep going forward. If there is nothing to be resolved and you're not going back, it might not be worth reopening that issue.

[@TheSonic1685]

@@ArtofOneDojo I left quite recently so it's still fresh.

[@ArtofOneDojo]

@@TheSonic1685 That's a hard decision. I don't know your specific circumstance to be able to give concrete advice, but at this point it may be best to let it go and if they reach out and ask then explain it to them? Especially if you're already found a better school, you're working toward your personal goals. The bottom line is, you weren't getting what you wanted out of the training, and someone in their school was ruining the experience for you. If they ask, it's ok to be honest. If they don't ask...well...just keep working towards you new training and don't look back.

[@jaypeve]

Have you heard of a Bruce Lee challenge on the internet it’s kinda like a virtual run

[@mohdkhairinordin854]

Jika hangpa mai nak belajaq untuk benda yang hanya menyeronokkan dan benda yang buleh guna untuk kesihatan dan mempertahankan diri hangpa ,lebih baik bagitau guru hangpa berenti saja ,jika guru hangpa ajaq benda sampah dan tidak berguna lebih baik berenti tapi jika benda tu berguna teruskanlah jangan kira kira apa yang kita mau saja kena tau apa yang kita perlukan

[@jackleg2007]

Had a friend quit his Wing Chun school because the sifu ran it like a cult.

[@carlosllanos4689]

What if you have been training for a long time and hold a dan rank?

[@SamCobb]

If you hold a black belt rank then you should be fine to go to another school. Just make sure you take notes on all you've learned so far, to make sure you dont forget nothing.

[@Jari1973]

Dear Sir.. Oss All my life I have practiced JKA Shotokan (more than 30 years). KiMe.. it's powerful.. it stops all movemen??.. it's not really powerful.. it's total crap :)?? I can't wrestle.. I can't box.. But that old Karate can't be complete shit??

[@strikingmachine2975]

you should quit your dojo because the "D ark W inter" or "Co vid 4.0" is imminent ((sarcasm))

[@johnnylira3312]

What about money? This kyokushin karate school wants $180 for 3 classes a week! In this economy? He close to $200 bucks!

[@ArtofOneDojo]

That is a valid concern, but price all depends on area too. I've seen BJJ schools charge $200 a month and Judo schools charge $90. Every school is different. Let's look at another larger variable too, you said "In this economy", which is very correct. Money is tight for consumers. But don't forget, that means costs went up a lot for the school too. Rent, insurance, utilities have all skyrocketed so I'm sure they're feeling the crunch just as much.

[@adrianalsina3435]

Why are all the sad pictures bjj guys?

[@ArtofOneDojo]

It was the graphics I had, and right now a high majority of Dojos in the USA are BJJ. The footage wasn't BJJ though, showed other arts and people.

[@adrianalsina3435]

@@ArtofOneDojo thanks I appreciate your reply!

[@SpaceKlown]

If you really want to learn how to fight and for defense than you need to learn boxing or muay thai, and not at these traditional martial arts mcdojos with 8 year black belt students. 😆

[@ArtofOneDojo]

This comment doesn't really seem to match the topic of this video. There can be more schools other than Boxing and Muay Thai that are good, and not every traditional martial art is a McDojo.

[@SpaceKlown]

@@ArtofOneDojo Do you have 8 year olds who are black belts? If yes, you are definitely a Mcdojo.

[@ArtofOneDojo]

@@SpaceKlown No I don't, but that's not what this video was even about. The topic was not talking about McDojos or child black belts, we've covered those in length in other episodes. This video was specifically talking about determining if you're getting what you want out of your school and if not, how to leave it. Not sure why you're taking it into a tangent. And again, a lot of arts can teach out to fight, it's not only boxing and Muay Thai. Not every traditional art is a McDojo.

[@SpaceKlown]

@@ArtofOneDojo Sorry, it's just in my town we have nothing but Mcdojos and some are right next to a McDonald's to boot. They make me mad cause they just hand out black belts like candy.

[@ArtofOneDojo]

@@SpaceKlown I would agree, that is definitely a problem.

[@BassGal92]

I was thinking about quitting my kickboxing gym because of how it worsened my anxiety disorders and how one of the instructors treated me and the other autistic student worse than our neurotypical peers. Luckily, the gym closed at the beginning of this year due to a change in property owner. It's why I get so worried about autistic people in martial arts.