Wife Ghosted Him After 10+ Years Together - Toni’s Story

💪 [FREE MASTERCLASS - SPOTS LIMITED]
Learn The Proven 5-Step Process to Empower Yourself to Rebuild Your Relationship/Marriage urlgeni.us/MCTSTOFADS
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🎁 [GET THE FREE GUIDE]
How to Properly Lead Conversations to open Up & Heal Your Partner’s Emotions
relationshipsmastered.com/hea...
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INITIAL SITUATION
00:00 - Why This is a CRUCIAL Interview
01:44 - This Pushed Her Over the Edge & She Was 100% Cold & Indifferent
04:59 - The Tactics I Tried (Don’t Do What I Did!)
10:57 - Why I Was PISSED That She Left Me
17:51 - How I Was SO BLIND to Her “SIGNS” & My Issues
23:13 - Why NO SITUATION is Too Unique, Dire, or Difficult
EXPERIENCE IN THE PROGRAM
31:53 - What Made Him Decide to Join the Program
35:18 - I STOPPED Looking for Tactics & Shortcuts After This
45:22 - Why Most Men Fall for Bull**t Relationship Advice
54:33 - More Evidence that NO SITUATION IS UNIQUE
1:01:43 - The Secret to WINNING (DO THIS & YOU WILL RECONCILE)
HOW THINGS ARE LIKE NOW
1:03:16 - We’re Basically “Inseparable” Now & What “Reconciliation” ACTUALLY Feels Like
LEARNING LESSONS
1:09:53 - #1: Why Some Men Aren’t Meant for Relationships/Marriages
1:17:09 - #2: The Crucial First Step to Reconciliation (Why Saving Your Marriage MUST Begin with Internal Shifts)
1:25:32 - #3: How to Become a MASTER of Your Emotions (Why “Stoic” Men are Fragile)
1:32:26 - #4: The Real Secrets of Reconciliation (What It REALLY Takes)
1:39:16 - #5: Why Most “High-Value Men” Are Actually Delusional
1:47:40 - #6: THIS is the Mindset ALL My BEST Clients Share (Lifestyle & Obsession)
WANT TO APPLY FOR THE PROGRAM?
2:04:09 - Want to Apply for the Relationships Revival Program?
#GeoffreysSetiawan #RelationshipsRevival #GeoffreySetiawanReviews

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> urlgeni.us/MCTSTOFADS 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🎉 To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! kzbin.info/aero/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU

[@CAE2323]

Hi @Geoffrey Setiawan, I have sent you an email and a DM on how to purchase the program and join the fam. can you reply ASAP please?? thanks

[@beargrylles2185]

I am not on the programme but have gone through a marriage separation. I have had alot of expensive therapy, watched endless/varied videos, read numerous books, spoken to many people - but this guy speaks the most amount of sense and his guiding principles - of essentially self focus and self improvement - creates the win-win for any man experiencing relationship break-down. Make-yourself the best-man you can become and the rest will take care of itself.❤

[@traps361]

I have watched so many videos, bought so many affordable programs. I’ve finally been able to speak to my wife, finally the day after court I was able to see my daughter since the week before Thanksgiving. The case is going to the proper county now. This video resonates in the stonewalling. I know my wife and her passed relationships. Her walls are up. She will not allow her to feel. She stays busy with work school and our daughter and she just wants the divorce done yet I was the one who initiated me leaving to stay at my folks a few days and saying goodbye ugly and emotional in a fit of disparity/rage days after my daughters birthday in October. She told me she couldn’t trust me after that. I know the long approach is better and I do not want to sign the divorce. Just don’t know how to have her stop or slow the process.

[@UntitledPanda]

Geoff, thank you for all your videos, they’ve been very helpful. I’ve got my second interview with Jason Friday, really hoping to be accepted into the program. I’m ready to buckle down and commit hours a day to this. Thank you.

[@LifeForceGenerator]

This is almost like looking into a damn mirror. This dude's story is my story almost to a tee, it hits so hard right here at Christmas.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Right. This is why we say "no situation is unique, direr or hopeless". While all of my clients face "unique" issues, all those issues are rooted in broken 5 pillars, and the broken 5 pillars are usually rooted in some issue with internal shifts. Infinite scenarios -> Same diagnosis -> Same treatment plan!

[@rickycarter8892]

Im in love with this program and im not even in it. What a fn gift this man has given the world.

[@VonsView]

Needed this. Thanks Geoff thanks Tony

[@Infinitevanity]

I’ve been watching all your videos and I’m slowly working on myself. And I think I’ve managed to plant a few seeds as well. Thank you for explaining about paradigms and how we interpret the world around us and how that translates into our emotions. I learned a lot about myself. For now my spouse says that it’s definitely over between us and that too much damage has happened for her to come back from it. She’s too hurt and it’s taken her too much time and courage to end it for her to try again. I show her my changes (with actions) which she has noticed and acknowledged and apparently believes. But since she’s done with us she shuts down all talking about the relationship and is only willing to engage with me re “safe” topics. So it’s a slow process, but I’m taking it one day at a time. Thank you for all your advice. It’s giving me hope.

[@aceshi3173]

I’m in the same boat,hurt my wife too much that she told me that she is done.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

When she says it's "done" - that's when the opportunity actually arises. Question is, have you become a world-class enough performer to thrive through it when the opportunity knocks. Or are you going to get caught with your pants down and not even see the opportunities that are staring you in the face? kzbin.info/www/bejne/hWWtkqR7Z6ynhbs

[@Infinitevanity]

@@GeoffreySetiawan I’ve watched all of your videos at least twice. And I’m not giving up. The hardest part for me is recognising when I can actually try to make progress planting seeds and when I have to give her space so I don’t push her away further. It feels very delicate. Sadly I can’t afford your program. I’d love to do it just for my own benefit (childhood trauma, cptsd) - hopefully one day

[@alecmcd8536]

​@Infinitevanity the time to start planting seeds is now. If you have truly watched all of Geoff's videos twice (I know I haven't, he has days worth of content for free, and you must really listen closely to pick up on what is important.) then you would understand that she is always watching you and that you do not need to manufacture contact. What you need to be concerned with right now is working on yourself. That is getting over your victim mindset (this is happening to me because... I can't because this happened to me... Etc...), working on your reflexive paradigms (basically change the way you view your partner, if you see any negative aspects try to understand why she feels this way, do not stop focusing on this untill you can say that you would have done the same thing if you were her.), work on developing an antithetic mindset (be able to ask how you contributed to the problem rather than blaming your partner.), and listening to what she says and be able to paraphrase what she is telling you. My partner and I are currently separated but with these key culture shifts we are able to live under the same roof and she tells me everything, even the things that are not easy to hear. These skills require practice, especially if you are asking the type of questions you are asking, and is why you need to start practicing now in order to become a performer. (Learn how to plant seeds to create safety with the little contact you can have now and you will be surprised how she will warm up to you.) Note that this is only the first step. Once you have started planting seeds and have created enough safety to be able to talk again, you will now need to figure out what the problems were to cause her to leave in the first place. This requires your bpv, not holding in your shit, but being able to hear about your problems, antitheticaly analyze these, and come up with win wins. (This will be impossible to do if you do not understand and practice these skills first.) I would 100% recommend investing in this program even if you have to take out a loan. The reason being is going the free route requires you to be a self learner, and even then no one will be there to help guide you if you start to go astray, you will just have to figure these things out yourself. You have first ask yourself, if you were so perfect then why did she leave you? If you want to gain the tools and knowledge to save your relationship then work harder or join the program but quit victimizing yourself. Even after learning as much as I have I still plan to join the program eventually because I know and am aware that I still have some microexpressions that I am unawarre of that trigger my partner from time to time, and I know that there are still many more nuggets of information to learn in the modules that Geoff has compiled in V3 of the program.(Tip: Each client interview may leak a new one if you listen close enough.) As you can see there is so much more to this, and it would be impossible to get what the program has to offer from just KZbin. I follow this persisently but I am probably only at level 1 if that, while those in the program have the enviroment to help grow themselves to level 5 or infinitely higher. Also, doing it yourself does not come with the same support system in that if you misunderstand something, you may be destroying safety without realizing it right away. I have done this and learned from trial and error, but this requires an antithetic mindset to do, and if you don't have that it will be impossible. ​@Infinitevanity, regardless of which route you choose, I hope this will inspire you and I wish you the best of luck on your journey. (I wish someone would have laid it out for me this way when I started so I feel inclined to do so. Geoff just basically told me I would never make it, which is ironically the tough love that inspired me to go this far. Lol Thanks Geoff.) Also Geoff, on a side note your master class is not new and is the one thing that makes your program appear "questionable".(Not sure why no one has ever mentioned this when you ask in your client interviews.) However, I have been following your KZbin channel long enough to know that this program is amazing. My proposal is to be completely transparent that it is pre-recorded and that it is a pre-requisite that you understand the content presented before proceeding to apply. (Though I can see maybe people taking it more seriously if they believe it is live.)

[@Infinitevanity]

@@alecmcd8536 Thank you for the long reply. I’ve been listening to his videos for two months now. I watch them when I can’t sleep. And when I can’t focus and when my anxiety takes over. A lot of them have taken several views for me to fully understand the content. I understand why my partner did what she did. Full empathy. I would have done the same. I know the problems (I was critical, judgemental, get angry, and am controlling. Thank you childhood trauma.) I have realised all of that in the last 2-3 months. Unfortunately she’s already said it’s over. I’m now in therapy. She’s unwilling to discuss the relationship. She talks about superficial stuff as if we were mere friends and I try and make every interaction positive. But when I want to talk about us she says there is nothing more to say. She said “if my feelings change” she would consider a second chance but she’s not willing to open herself up to getting hurt again. And she won’t change her mind unless magically she feels a spark again. In the meantime she’s built a wall around herself. When I try to take a step towards her she simply says: everything’s been said. So I guess my issue is that I don’t know how to apply what I’ve learned. Apart from having removed all of my negative behaviours from all interactions of course. Unfortunately I wouldn’t be approved for a loan currently. I’m hoping I’ll get there eventually.

[@lukeleonardrasmussen3550]

Another great video. A couple takeaways for me on this one, y'all were talking about being a leader in the early part of the video and what it's like being a leader. The company I work for, employees fill out monthly surveys on how the leadership is doing. And they take it to heart and make a great place to work. Second you were talking about Want vs Need...that's another good way to think of being untethered. YES, you WANT the outcome BUT you NEED to focus on the pillars, on safety first.

[@adriand205]

Geoffrey, thank you for giving us so much free value each week. I totally love your approach on how to look at and how to be in a relationship, the importance of creating safety, and how to fall in love with the process of change, for bettering yourself. Just by looking at all your videos, my mindset has totally changed and I´m sincerely thankful for that! If you don´t mind I have a question for you: My wife filed for divorce a couple of months ago after a year of separation, we´ve been together for 17 years and have 3 kids together. For the last 5 years I was basically the husband who didn´t take any leadership and not listening or seeing her, my ego was too big and she finally got fed up, which I totally understand. She´s been the masculine leader for a long time, taking care of the family, very dominant and "bossy", which I totally understand since I sucked at creating any safety for her and not taking any leadership. But the thing is that she has been like that since we met and even before we met, the "bossy" one, the controlling one. She´s been like that since she was a kid, because that´s how she was forced to be, to be able to survive a tough childhood growing up with toxic parents. My question is basically, if I keep working on myself, to really create that safety for her again like in the beginning of our relationship, but taking even more leadership this time, to become completely irresistible, is it really possible for her to then let go of her need to be in constant control, to be "bossy"? In other words, will it be up to me, or to us men in general, to create that safety for our woman to finally let go and surrender? Because, as I said, she has always been like that, even when things were good in the beginning. I´m willing to work my butt off and fight for her and really do the work that is required to succeed, but I can´t accept her need to be in constant control all the time. That´s like my dealbreaker! So what if she won´t give up that need? Is it then me who has failed or is there actually some work of her own to be done also? I totally get that if we create a healthy environment then our partner also will change, but is it always enough? Because if someone lacks self-awareness, it will be hard for that person to make any changes, right? Hope you understand my question and sorry for the long assay:)

[@archyology]

I'm in a similar situation, also getting divorced and my wife is also quite bossy. It's also partially my fault because I permitted it to be that way. I think Geoffrey has addressed this in some other videos. Basically saying that you can't change the way that someone else is, only yourself. But I think that in a successful relationship you are going to have to be brave and bold and occasionally express your needs and yourself in a calm manner. It's possible your wife may even appreciate that. What women actually want is a man who will take care of things for them.

[@eggmanslimz]

Damn I need to talk to someone else! I can’t keep waiting for Jason calls! I need GUIDANCE 😂

[@rokozaki]

Right now, as I’m saving up for the program, I’m really thinking about if there is something that I can do until then. I was the dumper but she is currently dating someone else and unwilling to come back. I’m confused whether or not it would be harmful to wish her merry xmas or not. I know it sounds like a petty thing as it focuses on the tactics of things, and I know I shouldn’t be rushing things. I feel like that is a part of the process, to become who I am, and not ignoring her at this time a year. At the same time, everywhere else people are saying that I should not contact her, which still messes with my head.

[@adrianlim8651]

Hi Jeffrey, What about being separated but still living in the same house and sleeping in the same room? My son sleeps in the middle. Do I find conversations with her? Or should I just give her space? She told me she wanted space, she want to find herself, she lost her feelings for me, etc. It seems difficult to give her the space she wanted.

[@JohnLavoie-xw6wg]

Bro, here’s another perspective, what if you just moved on? Your wife is moving on right now

[@adrianlim8651]

@JohnLavoie-xw6wg Yeah but it's weird while living in the same house and at the same time having to give her space. I think if both person still living in the same house it's impossible to give space.

[@Joltstor]

Aye, if you haven’t yet, do the masterclass. That will give you the best insight on if this is for you or not. Best decision of my life.

[@user-ho7mh1wb3z]

Geoff can you tell us when you talk about giving tough love to your clients ehat does it actually means . Does it means like showing the people reality , like what they dont believe thats happening snd what their partner might do to them.. Also when you talk about practicing stuff , how does we need to practise . If you can just reply with a short answer .

[@ThanksWyatt]

Tough love in the program is “they aren’t here to coddle you, get your shit together. Here’s the tools to fix yourself. Be a leader.” It’s the opposite of therapy. It’s done wonders for me.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Yup! What @wyattearp2032 said. To fully understand this - if you're watching my videos, most likely, you got somewhat blindsided by how unhappy your partner has been e.g. You kinda sensed that she has been unhappy for a much longer time than you admit, but you decided to do nothing about it until things became BAD. Why do you think that is? Sometimes, we don't wake up until something slaps us HARD in the face and knocks off our rose-colored glasses. :)

[@sanketzungare6553]

Geoff , I also lost my gf , she said at the beginning you was very good but and then become toxic , somehow I managed to talk to her , we talked daily, but she says very mean things to me , talking about her crush and how I hurted her I said her I am changing but she is like IF YOU ARE CHANGING SO WHY YOU TALK WITH ME ?? I start conversations daily, but she is saying like you should not talk with me I don't know Geoff how should I get pass that question ? or should I communicate a little less ??

[@krebul]

A little less? Bro, you gotta let her go. You already lost her. Stop communication and work on yourself. Don't do it hoping she will come back. When you have improved enough for her to come back, you won't want her back.

[@yadirect]

How do you response when she talk mean to you? do you able to truly understand her pov back to your 'old-self' when things not going well? Then you aren't changing brother.

[@yadirect]

"If you are changing why you talk to me (Like that)". We cant really see the big pictures of your both convo, but that's prolly she meant.

[@sanketzungare6553]

when she says like why are you talking to me , then I say like we are talking normally , and then taking interest in her interest like movie and all

[@yadirect]

@@sanketzungare6553 I know iam sounds harsh, but ask yourself this: Are you sure you're really changed not just wants her approval just to get her back no matter what it takes?

[@benjaminsacks6346]

None of your success stories have a married man who had restraining order. Ive been married for 15 years and my wife left when i was asleep with my 10 year old son. I haven’t seen them for over 3 months

[@ThanksWyatt]

That sounds like an extremely abusive relationship. Are you saying none of his stories show an extremely abusive man convincing the woman he abused for years to come back?

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Pay attention to the beginning of next year. I just did an interview with a gentleman who is in prison now after sleeping with his step-daughter, and worse, got her pregnant.(He has turned himself in to take ownership). Him and his wife reconciled - I met up with the couple. They are doing good. In fact, his wife fought the judge HARD to reduce his sentence. His last request to the judge? "Can I bring my course notes to prison?" And he decided to spend his last afternoon doing that interview with me. Crazy story, I know, but remember, I am in no position to judge and refuse to help someone when they want & need it. My job is not to judge, but to allow men to reach their full potential, to become the world-class and unrecognizable versions of themselves. Note - It's hard for my clients to come out here and talk about their issues. I mean, would you really share with the world "Hey world! Look! I joined the program to fix how I've f**ked my marriage!" So for every 1 story you see here, there are probably 30+ more client success stories that will never be shared on YT. :)

[@botsbass842]

​@GeoffreySetiawan that is a freaking wild story brother. Once i get through with this interview i will be watching that one. I hope to be enrolled with you ASAP pending finances

[@JohnLavoie-xw6wg]

Is it worth getting back together? I mean..people put themselves thru hell, meanwhile the woman often just move on and hook up with other people

[@anthonymiller8365]

To avoid being needy and to have successful relationships with women and people in general, the secret is simple: Just make $10 million first! 😂😂😂 Best of luck to all those working 9 to 5 jobs... Just kidding, of course! But it's amusing to think about the Grandmaster saying that...

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

I made the mistake of sacrificing the higher pillars to double down & covet the lower pillars, so you don't have to.

[@anthonymiller8365]

Thank you for your response and understanding Geoffrey, I appreciate it. I apologize if my previous message came across as insensitive or boastful. I was only joking and did not mean to offend anyone. Your program is one of a kind. 🙏🏼👏

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

@@anthonymiller8365 Not offended :) Just wanted to make sure you don't miss the key lesson!

[@anthonymiller8365]

@@GeoffreySetiawanThe key lesson I've learned is the importance of going back and completing the program, truly immersing myself in it. I initially started in November 2021 and experienced some success after a few weeks. However, I never found the time to fully explore and understand the principles. I became content with the knowledge I had acquired, which proved to be insufficient. Recently, during a night of enjoying some lovely red wine with friends, I found myself losing sight of my goals and reverting back to old habits under the influence of alcohol. While I didn't do anything foolish, I caught myself complaining and reacting defensively instead of taking a step back and seeking further understanding. I acknowledge that alcohol played a part in this, but deep down, I know that I need to complete and master the program.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

@@anthonymiller8365 Yup. You never became a performer. You just learned enough to sound like a smart commentator. You never made it your lifestyle and allow it to permeate every part of your life. Tried to warn you against this, but yet, people still are hell bent on making the same mistakes thousands already made. Not sure why people do this. Life is too short to make all the mistakes yourself. Remember, dumb people need to make their own mistakes before they can learn from them. Smart people learn from OTHER people's mistakes in addition to their own mistakes, to avoid them making unnecessary mistakes BEFORE they make it. So let's go. Let's change the rest of your life! For real this time!

[@ZineElAbidineRouabhi]

yeah well, your approach does not work too. you are assuming that your partner is perfect, and you should be someone who understands and concedes your entire life for her own sake and emotions. so you expect me to let shit slide and be disrespected to create emotional and psychological safety. how about self-respect? when a woman leaves she is betting against your future and you should never try to get her back.

[@christopherjbenjamin9298]

Stop being a victim and get your high value man shit out your relationship and learn to take responsibility!

[@indrautama3648]

Men are meant to be protector, women are meant to be helper. Hence no human is perfect. Men want to be respected, women want to be heard and understood. If you want to be respected, then ask yourself have u ever really give you all to really hear and understand her feeling or emotion? Remember, women can't help to b in bad mood for no reason sometimes, simply because her PMS hormone cycle, while men have no issue on that. And the only way for women to stay and feel safe is when she know her partner truly can honestly comfort her whenever she need a shoulder to rely on. After all it is up to you to decide if this video can help u to humble yourself or feel offended related to your relationship.

[@ahmedshah5922]

Environments change people if you create a positive environment within the relationship then ur partner will also subconsciously improve and get better . That’s just how the mind operates . It’s all about who is going to be the one to start the change for a positive environment.

[@ThanksWyatt]

@@ahmedshah5922bingo

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

I used to think like that. I kept wishing for my wife to be different so she can make it "easier" for me to be better. Guess what - none of us became "better" or became any happier. It was just a messy & negative cycle where my worst nightmares were becoming more of self-fulfilling prophecy every single day. And when she finally wanted to leave, I further blamed it on her. That drove her nuts and she has now told me "Yeah, that was when I really decided to leave and never look back". --- I am glad I stopped - She has honestly become such an amazing wife in ways that I never would have imagined before. I talk a lot about this in many of my interviews. Like I always say - when you begin to LEAD the change, you'll be amazed at how much your partner's behavior changes too. --- And the irony is this - if you really think your partner is so "f'ed" to the point where even when you INSIST that you've given her everything, she still cannot respect you...If you think of her SO LOWLY like that... Then maybe she's right to leave... Then that shows that she doesn't even feel the lowest level of what a relationship needs -> Safety. And without safety, it should not be a mystery why she wants to get the F out of dodge. I mean, how would you feel if your partner thought this of you? --- And guess what, watch any and all of my client stories, and they all are amazed at how much their partner's behavior changes too, when they begin to change theirs in the right and meaningful ways. :) But hey - as they say, your life, your choice! But just remember. Your paradigms become your interpretations, your interpretations become your feelings, your feelings become your actions, your actions become your life, your life passes through the same paradigms, and repeat. Be careful about blindly creating your own nightmares!