Will Ozempic Ruin Thanksgiving? | Canned Cranberry Sauce Wins Every Poll | Balloon Makeovers

[@CatyBee]

Thanks for all the laughs this year, LSSC. I'm thankful for employers like you, who support their union workers.

[@freedomfromreligion1701]

Look for the Union label should be everyone’s priority.

[@shermanculbertson6244]

I’m thankful for Stephen Colbert. The last eight years would’ve been unbearable without him.

[@vincentbaca790]

Bring back Letterman...this guy sucks..

[@SwiftJustice]

​@@vincentbaca790There there. It's okay. You're okay.

[@highflyerl23]

How did you survive the strike?

[@namastezen3300]

+the writers are the best

[@Shorty_Lickens]

Umm, the last 8 years sucked ass. WTF you mean?

[@jackthemac132]

Stephen, you are a ray of sunshine in a mad world.

[@vincentbaca790]

Ray of sunshine...wow..

[@SwiftJustice]

​@@vincentbaca790cope and seethe

[@paulybeefs8588]

It's not a requirement that gravy always has to travel by boat. Everyone knows you can take the gravy train!

[@watersipper1116]

That was so funny and unexpected I just coughed out a laugh involuntarily. Good one!

[@thunderousapplause]

yasssss! 👏👏👏👏

[@truthhurtsalways2781]

Lol, 😂😂

[@bwenluck9812]

You're hired, pauly!!! 😉

[@Ohkeedoekee]

Very funny!

[@kimclarke5018]

Happy Thanksgiving our American friends. Sending good wishes and a hoping you all have great day from your neighbor to the north.

[@dogscratchedoor]

Thanks, you also!

[@seaninness334]

And best wishes to our friends to the North. ❤ Canada

[@sandym8787]

Grandparents were immigrants to Michigan from Canada , Last few years I want to immigrate back !

[@mypillowguy445]

The last turkey Republicans bought cost them the house, senate and white house.

[@theresajerger3335]

Lolololololololol

[@doraguerra21]

And yet, they continue to fund him to this day. File under "Cutting your nose to spite your face."

[@yongchen4158]

Inflation is a bitch

[@bettylynne7364]

😂😂😂😂😂😂🎉

[@Sammysan123]

ba dun tsss!

[@davesky538]

I'm ever so thankful #45 lost the last presidential election!

[@twist58]

The Orange Fatty deserves that loss indeed!

[@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980]

Same!

[@kellycook3914]

💯% Well said! We hafta put as much effort into ensuring NO republican wins another election as we did in 2020 and 2022! Vote and bring like minded people to the polls! 🇺🇲💙🌊

[@869nf]

Trump 2024. 😅just kidding

[@martinblunden4689]

Actually, in terms of the popular vote,the dumpster lost in 2020,and 2016...so

[@engineeringartist4801]

Is no one going to mention Stephen's legendary adding machine skills? He puts the art in articulation.

[@Coolestmovies]

I bought a Turkey on sale at Kroger in Michigan a couple of weeks ago for 49 cents a pound. Got a bird weighing over 18 pounds for about NINE BUCKS! Liked the deal so much I went back in and bought another one. Even better, I’m Canadian. Our thanksgiving was weeks ago. I just wanted your cheap Turkey, America, so thanks! The wailing sissies at Fox news are running out of pearls to clutch, seriously.

[@davidguelette7036]

Rupert Murdochs revenge.For what I'm not quite sure.

[@humbleevidenceaccepter7712]

I was driving around Port Huron and seen a car with white plates and two turkeys strapped to the hood. Was that you?

[@Kyle_P]

“Loss leading” at it’s finest. It’s a huge thing in the food industry in particular.

[@tinay9491]

factory farming is a disgrace

[@Ryuujinv01]

@@davidguelette7036 He started his career as a failing writer in Hollywood. After the entire town laughed him out of the industry his dream became "bringing Hollywood showmanship to the news". It's no surprise the network hates Hollywood from that angle. It's like the same arc as Trumps embarrassment at the correspondence dinner.

[@NightFlyStudio]

I got a 20lb turkey for 9 bucks at Meijer this week. Who the hell paying 90 bucks for a turkey? Gtfoh.

[@markb6295]

The same turkey was $156 under Trump

[@intomnia3313]

The tag listed $5.00 per pound.

[@dogscratchedoor]

I'd really like to know what that turkey was stuffed with. Could Jason be a secret drug smuggler?

[@lemonielala3080]

Yeeah.... That is too cheap to be trusted though.🤔

[@seanmac80]

It was probably a hooker.

[@adancer3592]

The post office was the only government agency that made a profit Until Republicans requied to prepay for employees insurance 20 years in advance . No other agency or private company's have ever had to do that before.

[@lisab9541]

True ❤

[@SwiftJustice]

*All Republicans do is stand in America's way.*

[@generalputnam2990]

DeJoy made everything worse.

[@SayAhh]

Stamps went up in price. Twice! But still nowhere close to a 32% increase. Heck, Trump thinks you need ID to buy milk and groceries, do you think he'll know how much stamps cost?

[@divinewon73]

In 2006, the Republican Congress passed a bill with George W. Bush that required only the US Postal Service to pay 🔺 75 years 🔺 IN ADVANCE which is why they have struggled financially while diverting funds away from operations and all other efforts to serve American citizens. Meanwhile, Louis DeJoy, the Frump criminal running the post office, had 770+ extremely expensive mail-sorting machines disassembled and/or destroyed. Most of these machines could sort 1,000,000+ pieces of mail per hour and it is now done manually. NOTHING has been corrected and he is still Obstructing the US mail service and ready to do more harm with the next election. ULTRA LAME! He was installed by the orange orangutan to intentionally disrupt mail services for the 2020 election, but it didn’t work. Louis DeJoy is STILL Postmaster General of the US Postal Service!!! Biden has had nearly 3 years to replace him through a committee that votes on the postmaster general… Rather a strange delay, allowing this fascist criminal to continue disrupting the US mail services, including changing expected deliveries that were 1-2 days up to 3-4 days due to all the delays he has created. DeJoyless DISallowed traditional overtime and owns businesses that compete with the US Postal Service. He is in control of his biggest competitor and destroying it in our faces, yet nothing is being done!!!😡 What’s happening with that DOJ, Homeland security and President Biden? I am utterly displeased and I’m sure millions of other Americans are as well. Are we gonna have more election interference by Republicans through this radical postmaster? Will they remove him in time to allow a realistic postmaster ensure that mail-in ballots and all other US mail is handled properly & efficiently?🤔 W T F!!!🤮

[@Darbobski]

I am thankful for Steven, his crew, President Biden, The Book "Benchley" by D. Preston, my job, my friends, and everyone here! Have a great Thanksgiving.

[@marcpeterson1092]

what about The Book "Jaws" by Benchley?

[@Darbobski]

@@marcpeterson1092 That's why I loved the book I mentioned. It was a tribute to Jaws without being a Jaws ripoff. Jaws is actually my favorite book. Peter was an amazing writer.

[@InnerGiggles]

Now I have to check out this book. Glad you have so much to be thankful for. 🫶🏼

[@Darbobski]

@@InnerGiggles Thanks! I also love Peter Benchly's book "The Deep" and "The Rummies". The Rummies is different than his monster/shark books, but still well crafted.

[@arellatikvah]

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving too!!

[@sharonkellner7126]

Trump said he loves the uneducated. That is fortunate because they also love him.

[@intomnia3313]

It’s the host/parasite lifestyle.

[@isabellawong8744]

Because they believe his lies and easily manipulated. 😢😢

[@B__C__]

That just goes to show that everyone needs to practice self-love every now and then.

[@chonqmonk]

@@isabellawong8744 Yes, that's exactly right Sherlock.

[@guynorth3277]

They love his vulgar bigotry, they can relate to his disgusting ignorance.

[@richardholland4533]

I agree he is a good man I hope people remember to vote for him.

[@MrPhotodoc]

Don't worry. Be happy.

[@davidguelette7036]

He brought sanity and integrity back to the White house.

[@jackhosier8498]

We’re talking about Biden, right?

[@Slo-ryde]

@@jackhosier8498sure as shit, it ain’t Trump

[@00SmileTime00]

@@davidguelette7036 Yeah! He's brought back sanity and integrity by standing by and doing nothing as one of our closest allies carries out a genocide with our money, weapons and protection! Thank God we have a leader with the sanity and integrity to explicitly refuse _any_ attempts at de-escalation, who wont let a pesky little thing like _the deaths of seven thousand children_ affect his foreign policy one bit! Now that's a leader!!

[@yurielcundangan9090]

The party of “personal responsibility” is too cowardice to take personal responsibility

[@matthewaustin1366]

Cowardly*

[@jf7098]

I'm grateful for subtitles. Big thank you to whoever makes this happen. And this early! I don't take them for granted, they're noticed and appreciated. Happy Thanksgiving fam ❤

[@notsure1969]

The calculator bit never fails to crack me up. Happy Thanksgiving, Stephen and Late Show fam.

[@heyheytaytay]

I for one am grateful for President Biden. Sad how that's a statement which triggers so many people.

[@sfurules]

It only angers people who believe in a different god...the Orange kind....

[@kimclarke5018]

Not to worry, just ignore. Keep on moving.

[@jstnxprsn]

Listen, I'm a progressive and was not a Biden fan. But he's surprised me and been doing a great job. Not perfect, but far better than I expected. And he's not an international embarrassment like Sippy Cup Caligula.

[@brankostojkovic1684]

@@sfurules Quick one! 😀

[@obviouscaptain2931]

I agree, however after the old fellas get done fighting, Idiocracy will look like a prophecy I fear.

[@aaronpeart]

I’m so mad at myself for how much I loved that gravy joke

[@bwenluck9812]

@aaronpeart You couldn't see that joke coming from a mile away? I could, and I still laughed, lol!!!!

[@mikemcconeghy4658]

I'm glad he included it.

[@charlie-obrien]

"Gravy must travel....by Boat!" That was all I needed. Happy Thanksgiving all you turkeys! 🦃

[@unti419]

I remember a long time ago, the Attorney General of Kansas declared that it was illegal for airlines to serve alcohol in Kansas airspace. This became a national embarrassment and I remember even Johnny Carson making jokes about it on the Late Show. This is the same AG that went to a patch of wild hemp plants along a river and had newspapers take pictures of him burning these plants that were left over from when hemp was a farm crop that was legal and zero THC content. Times don't change much.

[@wizardsuth]

Part of the reason for the "war on drugs" is to prevent farmers from growing hemp because it would compete with American cotton. Never mind that the hemp would have little or no THC.

[@jeffr6206]

If he wants to scream about the price of stamps look at Trumps apppointed goon at the postal service for that one.

[@tamzinbrown9384]

THIS!!!

[@Slo-ryde]

Who can’t be fired, sadly!

[@robertawalsh2995]

You got that right. The current disaster at the USPS should be blamed on the smirking Postmaster General, Louis Dejoy. He has absolutely no interest in holding postage rates down. His investments are elsewhere.

[@mehere8038]

na, can't do that! That would require returning to the real world & they've lost the way after spending so much time over in the alternate one (especially cause there's so many sheep over there that all the paths just go round & round in circles & they're incapable of creating a new path back to reality, even if they think they want to (which they don't)

[@teresitauy3692]

I totally agree . A trump appointee indeed. How long is he suppose to be in charge of the USPS?

[@CarolKnoles-c5m]

President Biden is spending the last years of his life to help this country survive, so he deserves our respect and gratitude, not mockery.

[@00SmileTime00]

No one's forcing him to do it. You're acting like this is some feat of martyrdom that was foisted upon him. He campaigned for this job _for thirty-five years_ and he's holding on out of self-interest, not altruism

[@poorthing]

​@@00SmileTime00bah!

[@jaynorris3722]

Thank you!!! I'm sick to the back teeth of people dissing Bieden and some think it's funny.

[@00SmileTime00]

@@poorthing Solid response.

[@SwiftJustice]

​@@00SmileTime00yours was silly

[@akmediascope]

Love the gravy boat joke . So good to have non pandemic holiday

[@Bradyboy3211]

Or if you are watching this in Canada, where we celebrated Thanksgiving more than a month ago. Happy Thanksgiving to all people of the United States.

[@Nickynick501]

Happy thanksgiving TV dad. Lol I hope you and your wife have a great day tomorrow! Don’t forget the dad jokes! 😂

[@kailalavender17]

Happy Thanksgiving to Stephen Colbert and everyone. 🥧🦃🍂🍁

[@AhavaMath]

Biden was not my first, second, or even third choice among the democrats running in the primary last election. But he's really impressed me, and I'm not just going to be voting against Trump, I'm going to be voting for Biden.

[@1956arc]

Biden is a great President! I saw turkey for .99 cents a pound. Maybe they should go to a different super market!

[@roberthill799]

Or maybe, just maybe, these right-wing turds should stop lying? Just for a day or two? Am I asking for too much? Yes, I certainly am.

[@CallMeGailyn]

If that man bought a turkey at all, I'll be shocked. He doesn't do the grocery shopping. He thinks that's a woman's job. If his wife said it cost ninety bucks, she took a side -trip to a spa utilizing the very low-cost gas.

[@baxtronx5972]

4 pack of red wine.

[@sandym8787]

lol

[@Tuturial464]

Happy Thanksgiving Stephen

[@lashendawest7509]

We love your show stephen colbert

[@Miimisky]

Thanks so much for the thanksgiving laughs Uncle Stephen I appreciate and adore you to bits and happy thanksgiving to you and the amazing crew as well ♥️♥️♥️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣♥️🇺🇸🐔

[@loeaglelo]

Happy Thanksgiving to you Stephen, your family, the Late Show team, and fans of TLS all over the world!

[@Kreepyb5]

You too !☮️🫶🏼

[@toriless]

LSSC is their marketing

[@lazlobean]

Jason Chaffets lives where I live. His turkey must have been gigantic. We got ours for less than $1.50 lb. The sweet potatoes were more expensive than the turkey. Gas prices are down so they have to create things to be outraged about.

[@CrystalLynn1988]

I think it depends on where you live also. On average in my area turkeys are going for about $2.50 a lb, but that is still far from $90. My 13lb came to $33.

[@mehere8038]

Isn't it the wrong time of year for sweet potatoes over there? They're currently selling for $1.33 per kilo (2 pounds) in Australia, cause they're in season, so doesn't that mean they're the opposite over there? How did that become a thanksgiving food?

[@bsusak09]

I don’t necessarily want to vote for Biden, but I would vote for a used pair of Reeboks with dogshit on the bottom of them over Trump.

[@shortsatire5669]

The dogshit has more moral character than #45.

[@bubbercakes528]

👍👍🤘🏼🤘🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@guynorth3277]

Biden is doing a marvelous job, he knows where to focus and be there for all. If America will get behind him- we will readily come out of this nightmare.

[@thomp9054]

This is a fun game.... I'd vote for a mouthful of bees that just got sprayed by a skunk over tfg

[@bunnyfernwood]

My sentiments exactly 😂

[@helenamirian908]

I'm on Mounjaro for diabetes, which is similar results-wise to Ozempic, (curbing appetite sharply) but functions differently internally. Anyway I can and do eat on it, but mainly when food I like is placed in front of me. On a regular day it's been tough to rally myself to prepare and eat foods I like.

[@theodorejay1046]

I'm starting the same adventure 🙏

[@ThisAintAStupidName]

Hi, Nurse here. It's worth mentioning: Ozempic's primary use is for diabetes. As more people use Ozempic just for weight loss, it becomes increasingly expensive or just unavailable for those diabetics who need the medication just to live. Please don't market this as some kind of miracle drug, at least not until production can ramp up to match the demand.

[@dogscratchedoor]

Well, it's kind of hard to imagine that a pharmacy company is going to pass up an opportunity to make more cash. When all they have to do is ramp up production.

[@LoPhatKao]

if there wasn't tv commercials hawking the crap every 5 minutes, most of the people that don't *need* it wouldn't be taking it

[@ThisAintAStupidName]

@@dogscratchedoor They haven't yet. A diabetes specialist I worked with wanted to prescribe it to a guy, only to find that it wasn't possible - every source she could find was out of stock.

[@PitFriend1]

I’m running into this. My copay for a month’s supply of the stuff was $125 when I first started on it a couple years ago but after it became popular as a weight loss drug it’s now $450. And lately I have to call around to every pharmacy in the town I live in to even find any at that price.

[@soccerchick1]

Thank you.

[@CurtisWhitehead-wn5bs]

I did not see that gravy boat joke coming. Touche Colbert! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@nstark1066]

I am thankful we have late night satire to lighten the burden of stress that extremists have visited upon our nation. For a little while we can smile and even laugh. Thanks Stephen and cast! ❤

[@00SmileTime00]

None of this is satire, you don't know what that word means.

[@robin2012ism]

@@00SmileTime00 Ok, Watson. Is it mockery? How about ridicule?

[@00SmileTime00]

@@robin2012ism Either of those words could potentially apply, yes. But it's not satire. That was a very dumb question, do you need me to explain the difference to you??

[@roberthill799]

@00SmileTime00 No, first I'd like to ask you to explain the difference between yourself and a pretentious tw*t because I can't discern any.

[@wendellbryant]

I love my president Joe

[@hawaboutnow]

Good for you😂

[@ericlondon2663]

$90 for a turkey? Republicans must think ALL of us don't know wtf the price of milk is.

[@davidguelette7036]

It's not like they live in the real world. MTG,Boebert, and now the Q anon shaman?Yowza!

[@cleatusbarncoat8642]

Only morons watch fox

[@cleatusbarncoat8642]

…or pay $90 for a turkey. “Gullible, gullible…”

[@cbeaucrawford]

Their makeup covered leader thinks we all need an ID to buy bread. They may be doing it on purpose, or they could just be stupid.

[@EileenMeehan-q4g]

Maybe some fancy smoked turkey, cooked and prepped for the table. If so it shows how out of touch he is that he doesn’t know the difference.

[@movievaudeville]

Astounding that he was doing this show while his appendix was rupturing. Glad he made it through!

[@dianemarcakis4624]

I’m voting for Biden because the alternative frightens me to death!

[@Thiesi]

You and every other sane person.

[@ROCAincorporados]

snowflakes

[@AllunderHispurview]

​@@ROCAincorporadosyou're too pretty to be intolerant

[@stevechance150]

It's a really difficult decision. One candidate wants to abandon our constitution and end all elections. The other candidate is old.

[@janmay7961]

Same here! For me it’s simple! Biden is Pro-Democracy 🥰 Trump is Pro-Fascism😱 Vote BLUE to preserve our constitution and democracy 💙🇺🇸🙏

[@dwhitman3092]

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! Especially those of us who enjoy Steven and his Crew! 💙🦃🥧🇺🇸

[@johnwebster76]

Thank you, you have a happy Thanksgiving as well

[@SHIRLEYGiffordCashmanMS]

I love the way Stephen delivers jokes.

[@patlynch6517]

If he really paid $90 for a turkey, he IS a turkey!

[@ignaciaforteza7731]

The greatest entertaining show. Thank you Stephen❤

[@laalaa99stl]

Happy Thanksgiving Eve Stephen and LSSC crew!

[@hanselmenezes1406]

my lord - Colbert's bit with the calculator, is as old as time itself, for his days even back on the Colbert Show - and i'll never tire of it haha

[@kirkdandie]

Yes, very funny. 😂

[@studio1954thereflections]

Happy Thanksgiving to all our American friends and family 🇨🇦❤️🇨🇦

[@marcpeterson1092]

My favorite was "team non-Euclidean plasma tube molded into forever ridges". An accurate description.

[@SC_Jolly]

Team Homemade. With candied orange peel.

[@danielgehring7437]

Everyone: "Christmas is too commercialized!" Meanwhile Thanksgiving: "If you don't buy the right type of cranberry sauce your family will hate you!"

[@SwiftJustice]

All the best christmas movies are A N T I C A P I T A L I S T

[@marcpeterson1092]

I am with the 21%. Real, all the way!

[@ruthtaylor1450]

Fortunately I don't have to worry about that because my kids share my loathing of cranberries

[@davidlundquist1979]

It's not usually relevant, but at this time of year, the fact that I don't enjoy cranberry sauce is quite liberating.

[@Xonikz]

I mean, to be fair to thanksgiving, the entire holiday was made up to help boost southern states trade in the economy after the great depression; 1939. Congress committed to a final change in 1941, the year of pearl harbor and when Alabama finally freed its last slave.

[@carlosmagana5775]

Mr. Biden is a good man and everyone knows that the thing is that he’s not a liar like the other guy

[@danlowe]

Wow

[@00SmileTime00]

Yeah!! Sure he's complicit in a genocide being carried out with our money, weapons and protection; but at least he won't LIE about it!!

[@chadwade5601]

Open your eyes

[@carlosmagana5775]

@@chadwade5601 open your mind my eyes are open and I also have my mind open too open your mind

[@NewMessage]

Great... I get to listen in tomorrow while my Father-in-Law rants about why he's angry that a tragic explosion that killed 2 and wounded another wasn't a terrorist attack.

[@kimclarke5018]

And they tried to blame us Canadians even though the car was traveling at a high speed on the American side. This truly is a blame Canada 🇨🇦 moment.

[@celticceltic99]

@@kimclarke5018 Don’t worry, we still remember how Canada got six American hostages out of Iran via the Canadian Embassy in Teheran!

[@SuzanneG1961]

So glad your writers are back.😂

[@alex35agm]

One thing Americans can be thankful for, Trump is not your president anymore.Keep it that way and you will enjoy next year as well,and all the years afterwards.

[@Slo-ryde]

Not if the Dem voters stay home in Nov of 24!

[@roberthill799]

Nobody will be staying home if Trump is the opponent.

[@SRowntree]

Happy holidays, everyone!

[@henrydawkins1335]

Trump on a platter is the biggest turkey of all time 😂

[@vincentbaca790]

Haw haw ..original...

[@SwiftJustice]

​@@vincentbaca790 *What's the difference between Donald and a jet engine?* The jet engine stops whining when it gets to Florida!

[@notsure1969]

I wouldn't eat that meat if it was the only thing left on the plate.

[@lynettelabaum3983]

Yes 👍

[@kenknife111]

I am not having turkey for Thanksgiving. Drumph made me loose my appetite.

[@hollyyork1164]

My 16-lb turkey cost me $7.88. Yes... it was on sale but even at regular price was $32ish. Just saying...

[@jf7098]

Yeah, I need to see the receipts from this man. I want to know where he's shopping as well, there are places that are going to have $90 turkeys I'm sure, but that's not the only option. How can people watch Fox and not feel like they're being lied to the entire time? 🤯

[@4RILDIGITAL]

Can't help but chuckle at these Thanksgiving puns! As the saying goes, departing the turkey feast with life still in you is practically taboo! Here's to heartier laughter with The Late Show this holiday season!

[@alexbao690]

I'm thankful for all the Americans Voting Blue 2024. Vote early, Vote by mail, brings your friends to Vote. 💙💙💚💚💚💙💙💙

[@mehere8038]

How do you bring your friends to vote by mail?

[@jenrosejenrose7417]

homemade cranberry sauce is so good tho. 10 minutes to fix too.

[@jenrosejenrose7417]

Also I have 40 pounds of turkey in the house and paid net $20 for it because costco had them for a dollar a pound and another grocery store gave them away free.

[@eaglescout1984]

Buying a $90 turkey and blaming it on the president is like saying, "I bought a baseball bat and it cost me $20,000. And that's even a second-hand bat that some guy named Babe Ruth wrote on it. Thanks, Biden!"

[@oldrrocr]

Yeah, we got a turkey for free (on store points, anyway) and immediately gave it away... How big of an oven do you need to cook a 72 pound turkey? and how many days do you cook it?

[@arellatikvah]

We bought a 6.5 lb prime rib roast for 45$ and our turkey cost less than $20! Where are these rethukkklicons shopping??

[@andreabrady55]

All the way from Oz..love you Stephen and co..my bit of saneness in this mad world

[@芙美子-q8c]

Happy Thanksgiving Stephen and fam! Thankful for your show!

[@Opus313]

Something to be thankful for this festive week... the majority of Donnie's cult is simply dim witted and 'mostly harmless'...

[@TheKrispyfort]

I think you're the first comment. Congratulations 🥳

[@celticceltic99]

Don’t get too comfortable people!

[@nuschlerclark895]

If the rest of us (non-MAGA) don’t bother to register and vote DJT could win again! VOTE BLUE!!

[@doraguerra21]

It's the "mostly" that scares me.

[@erinbarnhill2270]

Get well soon, Stephen. We'll miss you this week. So glad you didn't try the ice cream turkey, and hope the Tig spice didn't cause the rupture.

[@marc21256]

The story about the guy who lied excessively about how much a turkey cost reminds me of a story. There is a failed commedian who has tried to get into acting also runs an alt-right pro-gun blog. Clearly in this pro-gun blog he posted complaints about gas prices. He posted a receipt over $100 for fuel to complain. Of course, he, a champion of free speech, blocked me when I pointed out his POS prius takes regular, and he bought premium to complain about the high price, and he bought more fuel than thr prius tank holds.

[@anzaca1]

6:35 For comparison, to serve 10 people, a 15-20 lb turkey is the recommended size. In retail, turkeys rarely exceed 30 lb.

[@coreyzek]

I am thankful to be alive, sad I can't share this thanksgiving with my cat that ran away the other day #PrayersForChaos

[@nancythomas6447]

Happy Thanksgiving to the whole team!

[@dianehrechko6370]

My sisters father in law insists on canned cranberry. So she got a dish that says ‘can-berry sauce’ on the side of it

[@chenzen1578]

People insisting of having a certain version of food don't seem to adopt the sense of "thanks" and giving", but that's maybe just me.

[@xerofelix7090]

I know Jason's full of shit cause we're in NY right now, and a 20lbs turkey is $40. And ain't nobody need more than 20lbs of turkey.

[@akinpaws]

I suspect his "$90 turkey" was a complete Thanksgiving meal kit for 12.

[@freya8133]

​@@akinpawsMost likely bought from The Swiss Colony or Harry and David.

[@NadineBedayse]

Shows how out of touch Fox is- with their ridiculous salaries and posh lives they likely buy at an exclusive whole foods. Sitting down to Thanksgiving with their herb fed, organic 72 lb turkey from an exotic turkey spa where all the turkeys sip champagne, listen to slow jams all day and get massages to be more tender-if they are paying $90 plus for a turkey 😂

[@sandym8787]

that's funny thanks..

[@stanbyme7874]

Gravy "by boat". Did you hear my groan, Dad?!

[@svengoessens7283]

Europe here. Glad someone explained the USA metrical system. Beagles!

[@spacerivernews]

Happy Thanksgiving everyone😂

[@roycecharlton4924]

You too!

[@sabinawoods5134]

LOVED the grave boat joke. That was classic!

[@jeffs6090]

I know Ozempic is the name most people know, but the weight loss brand name is Wegovy. Yes, they are the same drug, but Ozempic is the brand for diabetes and Wegovy is for weight loss. I'm sure Novo Nordisk would prefer you say the correct names when referring to the specific condition. Just like with Lilly's drug Mounjaro. That name is for diabetes, and their same drug brand name for weight loss is Zepbound (newly approved by the fda). However, I'm sure it's just going the way of Kleenex, Band-Aid, and Q-Tip to where Ozempic is the catch all term for all of the shots used for diabetes/weight loss.

[@SayAhh]

This is why even though Pfizer (and probably Moderna, too) gave actual names to their COVID-19 shots, nobody will call them that (nor even know what those names are). They'll just be known as the Pfizer and the Moderna COVID-19 shots.

[@lindamvernon]

There are no naming errors. People are not generally being prescribed Wegovy. Non-diabetics are actually being prescribed Ozempic (that's exactly what is spelled out on the box and injector) for weight loss Possibly because Wegovy generally needs to be taken at quite a bit higher dosage. In all of Canada, Ozempic is in very short supply due to it being prescribed to non-diabetics making it very difficult for diabetics to find it.

[@mehere8038]

@@lindamvernon and the company refuses to even make Wegovy available in Australia, despite it being approved & the government requesting it, the company won't give an answer as to why. Presumably the same would apply in other countries too & for various insurance companies in the US. There are apparently other companies outside the US that make equivalent drugs, but for higher prices, that's the path Australia is looking down to try to deal with the supply issues, especially with the failure to access wegovy

[@lindamvernon]

@@mehere8038 That sounds very frustrating. Sonetimes companies won't sell to goverment buying programs that bargain for better prices on bulk purchases.

[@roseford3483]

I love Thanksgiving humor. I just wish I could have my beloved parents and our cats and dogs back to share. You are lucky if you have living family members to share your food and your faith.

[@esmith6124]

Steven on the calculator gets me everytime 😂

[@skjones6654]

Please get well soon!!!!! So much love to you, Evie and all your family.

[@AAZEDLARC]

Fortunately I'm too poor to fly. But...who on earth takes comestibles on a plane? It's not like it's a station wagon. "By boat," brilliant:)

[@mehere8038]

I checked tripadviser to see what the rules were in my country & result I got was a working holiday visa person (from the US) asking if they could take their groceries state to state with them, as they were intending on buying all their own stuff to save money & didn't want to dispose of each time they travelled. Reply btw was that it wasn't common to use flights for grocery transport, but other than fruit & veg that have quarantine restrictions, it was totally fine. So don't be too sure people don't treat planes like their station wagon lol apparently they actually do. Maybe you could even afford to fly if you avoided all take away & took all your own grocery store food on the plane with you to save money lol. Personally I think I'd just go down the same path as you & not fly :)

[@kimberlycornelius7911]

Hey collards are done for thanksgiving at this hour but no pressure for tomorrow the stress is on

[@civil_villain]

May the Trump family truly be thankful for one final Thanksgiving outside of prison.

[@marshamariner7897]

🤣😂🤣😂🤣✌️✌️

[@wizardsuth]

Next year Melania and Barron may have Mar-a-Lago to themselves, unless they're forced to sell it.

[@JeanParker-u3d]

They should be in prison, but will never happen

[@TheRealVenna]

I'm not a fan of cranberries in general, but they have always been present at dinners I wasn't hosting. My mom always made her own, my mother in law bought it canned. I remember one year she got the canned jelly, and sliced it and laid it on a serving plate, and her daughter, who was I think eight or nine at the time, and wanting to add to the grown up conversation told her mom, "These beets are really good." We all got a good giggle when she realized she had been eating cranberry sauce like it was beets! 😂😂😂

[@xxMelaniexx]

Thanksgiving in Canada is so much more chill. No travel just a day off and food.

[@mehere8038]

We don't have it in Australia, only public holiday around this time is in Melbourne on the first Tuesday of November, cause there's a big horse race on that day & they want everyone to be able to enjoy it. Other states just do drinking & betting at work all afternoon instead of a day off (called the "Melbourne Cup" if you don't believe me & want to look it up)

[@NewMessage]

So.. what I wanna know is.... Why is it that everybody loooooved that canned gelatinous cranberry lump, but when I made cranberry jello, I was called a monster, and soundly beaten with a ladle?

[@danielgehring7437]

Wait... you can make _jello_ out of cranberries? I kind of always figured it would just naturally revert to its can-shaped cylinder if you attempted to tamper with it.

[@celticceltic99]

@@danielgehring7437 😄😄😄

[@Sairin13]

​@@danielgehring7437that's just the cranberry sauce's natural defense mechanism, in the wild, when face to face with a predator it clumps up into its can shape to look big.

[@nancyjay790]

To quote from Fiddler on the Roof, "Tradition, tradition! TRADITION!"

[@jcoopes5604]

Cranberries naturally get jello’y

[@landonewts]

Thankful for Stephen, the writers, and Lewis and the Late Show Band. You all help us survive these trying times..

[@deannedflrocks5337]

Stepen: "Wheres your niece"? Donald: "They eat their young"!

[@Dr_1212]

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone 👍

[@palavergirl7450]

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. 🍗🌹🙏

[@Copperyfoxx]

Hearing my coworker that uses Ozempic for it's intended use call around to DOZENS of pharmacies unable to find any with her prescription in stock makes me so effing mad people are abusing it to drop a few lb.

[@Copperyfoxx]

@@thebitchisback7026 thank you I’ll let her know in case she hasn’t tried yet. So far the closest any pharmacy in the Calgary area has told her is it’ll be March till they have stock. 💔

[@jenplinguist]

It's amazing the things that people will blame on a president. Here in Chile, I've even heard comments that "littering will decrease once we change the president." Things like economics and human behavior are so multi-factorial that putting them solely on a president is clearly showing how little the speaker understands about them!

[@grogery1570]

That wasn't a turkey you put in the oven, where is your niece and please don't say George Santos is looking after her!

[@runswithfish3830]

Here's something fun to do for Thanksgiving. When your Republican relative gets drunk, pretend that you are turning against Biden and offer some statistical facts that show how bad things have gotten under Biden, but actually give them Trump's & George W Bush's numbers. Then when they agree with the numbers without checking any of them reveal that they have been duped by playing it off like you just misspoke and watch how quick they backtrack. I've done this so many times with the same results every time. Republicans shamelessly do not care about facts.

[@johnwebster76]

That sounds cool. How did they take it?

[@todbaner3385]

Do u have a quick few facts u can list

[@johnwebster76]

@@todbaner3385 Are you serious? Inflation is at it's lowest point in the last two years. Travel is up and cheaper than it's been since 2020. In 50 years, Unemployment is at its lowest point. I heard some guy on Fox Entertainment paid $90.00 for his turkey, is that the crowd you're from? I personally don't hate Republicans because they're Republicans, but Donald Trump thinks the president rules not represents the people

[@runswithfish3830]

​@@todbaner3385 UNEMPLOYMENT RATE Six out of 7 post-World War II Democratic presidents saw the Unemployment Rate decrease by the end of their term except Carter who saw unemployment decrease during his 1 term from 7.5% to 5.6%, but it returned to 7.5% for a net 0.0% change. Six out of 7 post-World War II Republican presidents saw the Unemployment Rate increase by the end of their term except Reagan who saw unemployment decrease during his 2 terms from 7.5% to 5.4%, but in November & December 1982 the Unemployment Rate was the highest ever recorded at the time at 10.8%. The highest Unemployment Rate ever recorded since records began in 1948 was 14.7% in April 2020 under Trump. The highest Real Unemployment Alternative Measures of Labor Underutilization Table A-15. U-6 ever recorded was 22.9% in April 2020 under Trump. The longest run of unemployment below 4.0% was 48 consecutive months that began under Johnson in February of 1966 and ended January 1970 under Nixon. The next time unemployment would go below 4.0% would be 30 years later in April 2000, under Clinton. POVERTY RATE Six out of 7 post-World War II Democratic presidents saw the Poverty Rate decrease, except for Carter who saw a 0.2% increase. Four out of 7 post-World War II Republican presidents saw the Poverty Rate increase, except for Nixon & Trump who saw 1.6% & 1.2% decrease respectively. There is incomplete data for Eisenhower. ECONOMIC DOWNTURNS The rule is that the economic data turns bad under Republicans and turns good under Democrats. The exceptions to the rule is good economies under Republicans and bad economies under Democrats. The 2 worst economic downturns of the last 100 years, the Great Depression (Hoover, 1929-1939) & the Great Recession (Bush, 2007 to 2009), both began during Republican presidencies. Ten out of 12, 83%, of post-World War II recessions began during Republican presidencies. Since 1854, 65% of recessions began during Republican presidencies, because Republicans are good for the economy? There were 5 Republican post-World War II recessions for every 1 Democratic post-World War II recession. The average duration of the 2 Democratic post-World War II recessions was 8.5 months. The average duration of the 10 Republican post-World War II recessions was 11.67 months. The Misery Index, a measure Republicans love to cite as an example of how bad the economy was under Carter, actually INCREASED during 4 out of 7 post-World War II Republican presidencies while it DECREASED during 4 out of 7 post-World War II Democratic presidencies with the highest increase being +9.21% under Nixon and highest decrease under Truman at -10.18%. PRICE OF GASOLINE The nominal national average retail price of a gallon of gasoline increased 9% from $2.326 on January 23, 2017 to $2.537 January 20, 2020, the day before the first case of COVID-19 was reported in the US. The highest nominal national average retail price of a gallon of gasoline was $5.006 on June 13, 2022, under Biden. The previous highest price of gasoline was $4.114 on July 7, 2008, under George W Bush. No one was putting "I did that" George W Bush stickers on gas pumps then. When Consumer Price Index (CPI) Inflation adjusted to June 2022 Bush's high was $5.54, 10.67% higher than Biden. When $4.114 on July 7, 2008 is CPI adjusted to October 2023, the price is $5.75, 14.86% higher than Biden. The first time the nominal national average price of gasoline exceeded $2 was May 17, 2004 at $2.017, under George W Bush. When CPI adjusted to October 2023 that price is $3.28, the exact same as the current national average price of gasoline. But Republicans didn't complain when gasoline prices were either the exact same or higher under the guy they voted for. The desire for gasoline to remain near $2 per gallon means that gasoline is the only product that would actually get less expensive over time when adjusted for inflation. Republicans had complained that crude oil production was higher under Trump than Biden. The highest crude oil production under Trump was 13,000 (Thousand Barrels per Day) in November 2019. Biden's maximum so far was 13,053 in August 2023. STOCK MARKETS Republicans always cite stock market increases as proof of how good Republican presidents are, what they don't mention is that almost every president sees market gains and records. Trump's record high Dow closing on 2020/2/12 of 29,551.42 under performed Obama's & Clinton's percentage increases at the same point in their terms. Clinton had the best Dow at that point in his term with a 72.74% gain, followed by Obama at 61.96%, and Trump at 49.04%. NATIONAL DEFENSE Republicans love to roleplay as being strong on national defense yet both World Wars were fought and won by Democratic presidents. The deadliest terrorist attack on US soil occurred on September 11, 2001, during the presidency of Republican George W Bush who then proceeded to start a war with Iraq who objectively had nothing to do with the attack on 9/11. Kuala Lumpur War Crimes Tribunal found "Bush; former US Vice President Richard Cheney; former US Defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld; former Counsel to Bush, Alberto Gonzales; former General Counsel to the Vice President, David Addington; former General Counsel to the Defense Secretary, William Haynes II; former Assistant Attorney General Jay Bybee and former Deputy Assistant Attorney General John Yoo" guilty of war crimes at Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib. COVID-19 Trump lied to the public about the risks of COVID-19 while he told Bob Woodward the truth in a recorded phone conversion. As a result of Trump's lies and downplaying of the risks of COVID-19 , there were 6,484,329 Total Hospitalizations and 1,153,910 Total Deaths in the United States according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) COVID Data Tracker. Trump wouldn’t wear a mask during the pandemic because it messed up his makeup, like a real Alpha Male, per Cassidy Hutchinson. US POSTAL SERVICE "[B]y passing PAEA, Congressional Republicans mandated that within 10 years the United States Postal Service would have to fully fund retirement health care benefits for the next 75 years. Or to put it more plainly, the Postal Service had a decade to fully fund the retirement health care benefits for future employees that will not even be born until 2057 at the earliest." TRUMP'S LIES "In four years, President Trump made 30,573 false or misleading claims" per The Washington Post's database.

[@clairen4584]

🦃❤️ Thanking God for YOU, Colbert!!😂

[@superbmediacontentcreator]

You are totally off the wall when you're fact checked by a comedy show... WOW...

[@ConstantChaos1]

It's painful how often that's happening to political figures these days

[@bettyjones113]

And where are the journalists who fact check instead of prognosticating? Politicians are run by corporate interests and so are networks and newspapers

[@bwenluck9812]

​@@bettyjones113 Betty, you have to learn who to trust!