Wish They Were Kidding Ft. Jared Freid -- Two Hot Takes FULL EP

[@lasalsssa]

You should most definitely make a mama’s boy / adults spoiled by their parents episode

[@smam9580]

YESSS

[@shari9422]

Yesssss

[@sassygurl8615]

Pleaseeee

[@miaantonia6551]

YES PLEASE OMG

[@laurendrane8662]

Lol I could do a write in 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@autumnal2894]

the woman who is upset that her husband may date again if she hypothetically died is giving schmidt from new girl energy

[@itsrainingrosemary]

omg 😂

[@lucypearson2129]

It's maddening. Even if you do love somebody with your whole heart, and then lose them young, you're just expected to stay alone forever? That's a lot of life lived alone

[@tillyfrogfreak]

Now I am thinking about New Girl, and Jared actually sounds a little bit like Schmidt.

[@kenzeycolon2695]

The guy in this podcast gives me nick miller vibes

[@autumnal2894]

@@kenzeycolon2695 i see it

[@sydney9011]

If he's upset about men being called "mama's boys" wait till he hears about how OFTEN we get shit for having "daddy issues" which shouldn't even be our fault even if we DID have the issue

[@emilyward4388]

This!!!!

[@MsMoonDragoon]

Also if you're going to let your mother be cruel to your wife you're a shitty person and deserve the label. if you're a grown ass man that works a job and pays bills its time to get off the tit.

[@epxcc1f]

Yes!

[@tiffariff]

YES

[@thequeensconcubine1804]

This Jared must look at the news every day and think every single story is fan fiction just because he himself can't wrap his head around it😂

[@herronml86]

This. I actually found this very annoying.

[@breelyn5180]

i think jared is really underestimating how cruel ppl can be lmfao

[@skyeverest23]

Lol yeah he basically said it was all nerd fan fiction and fake. Like 13 year olds are A LOT smarter and way more emotionally intelligent than he thinks like this kid very well could have said those things, hes 13 not 5

[@jaynemccabe8701]

Right!!

[@monicam8270]

Yeah I’m ngl the amount of times I rolled my eyes in this episode was insane

[@alybanana415]

And the meme dress one…. What!???

[@tinasme]

Oblivious!!

[@nina.robbs565]

as a gay person, if a straight person wore an insane "I support lesbian rats" dress to my wedding, I'd be mortified. yes, it's funny, but it's almost.... fetishizing the couple? it's not about her, she shouldn't wear something that stands out like that. I'd be upset, this isn't her day. the statement the dress makes it "look how such a good ally I am!!! look how progressive and accepting I am!!! I know you probably struggled with your sexuality and lost friends and family over it but I love my uwu gay rat bois 🥺🥺🥺". it's reducing them to just their sexualities.

[@velvetkitty8883]

Yes! I thought similarly. Maybe not “fetishizing” but more tokenizing?

[@nina.robbs565]

@@velvetkitty8883 that's the word!!! yes!!!

[@ilikedarknes3351]

its also just really obnoxious and generally weird to have rats on a dress at a WEDDING. She's also highlighting the fact that its a gay wedding instead of a straight wedding, she probably wouldn't put a meme about straight people on a dress and wear it to a straight wedding.

[@nina.robbs565]

@@ilikedarknes3351 yeah :/ she's turning a nice, romantic day for people into a statement for her.

[@chrissyb6647]

Exactly. I like the gay rat wedding meme, but if someone wore something to my GAY wedding that said “I support gay rats” that is just so disrespectful and rude

[@johnsleftthumb1755]

for the rat dress story, as a gay person imma be the first one to appreciate an outlandish camp outfit but the fact she was going to wear it for an actual wedding is incredibly insulting and at the very least a micro aggression

[@jord654]

Made me feel like she was literally calling them rats. She was fucking gross. Glad he broke up with her.

[@violet-pn7fo]

right? like she was trying to be so overly supportive it circled back around to homophobic

[@heezypeasy8611]

It's like she was trying way too hard.

[@mae6125]

I was just writing a comment how I would just think she’s a homophobe, that feels so insulting I almost can’t believe its real 💀

[@seeruhx3898]

The only issue I have with this guest is that he has such a closed view on the world. His ideas are so "it can't be true because I have not experienced this".

[@marissapoyorena6910]

He was not not entertaining for this type of podcast like just read it for face value and go.

[@Loobaloopaloooo]

LITERALLY I hope he sees this and works on it. The amount of stuff I’ve been through I think he’d be like “that sounds too dramatic so it didn’t happen”.

[@Loobaloopaloooo]

So glad u said it xxxx

[@aaronbonke6812]

I literally couldn't stop rolling my eyes at him. He was so mind numbing to listen to I barely finished this episode.

[@alexiablanton9085]

Facts. Iwould never take advice from this dude

[@sarahinojosa2973]

I’m sorry Jared is so so out of touch on the last story. the dad is 100% the Ahole. the daughter is SIX and just tried to do something nice for her dad and to say that she didn’t listen to what he said is so callous. Actions speak louder than words and that dad f-ed up big time by returning the gift no matter how “impractical” it was

[@vanaa2130]

I agree with you . And he paid her back too.. the kid is 6 years old. She doesn't care about money. She just wanted to make him happy. Kind sucks he's gonna be a sucky dad if he doesn't change. And he refused to see anything wrong with it. Again, she's a child not your neighbour. Annoyed me a lot

[@EmiSanada]

I was listening on Spotify and had to come check if anyone else felt the same! I'm honestly mad with him and couldn't finish this episode :(

[@latenightdownload]

I think it’s not as dramatic as everyone is trying to make it. Everyone has different parenting techniques. I personally won’t be telling my kids about santa because I don’t believe white lies help instill the best honestly in kids and it is 100% ok to not like someone’s gift and think it should be more normal to express that. At her next birthday watch her say well I don’t like this gift, can we return it and use the money for something I do like. He maybe could have been more sweet in his delivery but we don’t 100% know how it was delivered to go so hard on this dad.

[@bronwyn2380]

pretty sure he’s joking lol, he’s a comedian after all

[@it.comes.around]

Okay, I get that he is her dad and he should just keep the gift and explain to her that he appreciates the thought, but it’s not for him. But I don’t disagree that she is too young to learn that not everyone will like a gift you give them and you will face rejection. When my nephew was just starting to go to classmates birthday day parties, he was freaking out about gifts being “stupid” and “they’ll make fun of it”. Kids rejecting presents are incredibly callus. He handled this terribly and owes that girl an apology and thoughtful explanation, but she is old enough for them to let her know that some people are horrible gift receivers.

[@AliVanSickle]

Jared’s voice sounds just like your dad!

[@naty7944]

Came to the comments to look for this 😅

[@AliVanSickle]

@@naty7944 Glad I’m not the only one!!

[@hannahbananaa2679]

I came to the KZbin to say that! I kept questioning if it was her dad😂

[@basementdwellercosplay]

Really, he doesn't sound anything like her dad to me. Am I the only one missing it

[@juliaelizabeth9831]

I thought this too!

[@hannahstocking1409]

“What does she want me to do?? Stare at the moon and tell her name?!” 😭😂

[@Roan.bot.]

I like how they think 13 year olds are too stupid to know the word rejected as if that’s not the theme of being a teen

[@herronml86]

I do think Morgan thought the kid capable of saying that but was struggling with a ridiculous guest. I found him obnoxious at times.

[@jord654]

I want to say that 13 is actually one of the most influential ages there is. They’re going through puberty, school changes, and general life changes. I knew a 13 year old year old kid who killed himself in my school, and I have a cousins who’s best friend (12 or 13) killed herself last year. If the kid is expressing his emotions like that, then I would 100% believe him.

[@Loobaloopaloooo]

Literally

[@Loobaloopaloooo]

I’m so sorry this happened to you darling and may they rest in peace I’m so sorry sending u love and hope darling xxxx

[@cassidybrewer]

When I was 13 I had the closest to success unaliving myself attempt. It’s a hard time for a lot of people.

[@neonbuildings]

the whole piano scenario where someone asks "do you play?" and you go "yeah kinda..." and then bust out with a very fast, very complicated song? my parents prepared me for that with 10 years of piano lessons and the FLEX is unmatched. been moving around a lot in my 20s and i cannot wait to own a piano again.

[@haileyo450]

the story about that man’s wife who was literally depressed for days cause he said he would date again after she died. 1st of all the man she was saying she was disappointed in waited 3 years to date again 3 YEARS, he definitely is not crossing any boundaries that should make anyone around him concerned that he’s moving too fast or that he got over his wife who passed. 2nd of all, that is truly insane behavior on the wife’s behalf, life doesn’t stop, not wanting your husband to keep living fully and wanting him to deny himself a source of happiness that someone could be in his life after his wife dies is absolutely crazy. my mom died 3 years ago and a year and a half after my dad started dating again, i thought it was a little soon at first and freaked out a little but if I-a 18 year old girl who lost her mom- could handle it better and understand that he needed someone in his life for his own happiness and that he wasn’t replacing my mom and that he will still love her forever, then a grown ass woman should be able to too.

[@adriandaniels1]

yeah, I instantly said "therapy" after her reactoin to her husband about that. What was their friend supposed to do, never date again? And for the wife that's what she would do and expect her husband to do for the rest of their life? T-H-E-R-A-PY

[@ms.tinygiant]

I don’t think it’s insane behavior. She can feel how she wants to feel. What he said to her isn’t wrong or a bad thing but she’s only human and when you love someone, hearing that can hurt and that’s okay. Some people just can’t be as confident as you, sorry

[@madilynvienna]

For the harper finkle story, at first i was wondering why he was policing what she’s wearing until i realized it was for a WEDDING and they aren’t even HER FRIENDS??!!! sorry girl express urself but not at a strangers weddinf

[@madilynvienna]

Also i also would have kicked them out. sorry that’s how weddings are.

[@heezypeasy8611]

Right?! Like where is the logic? They're not HER friends therefore it's completely inappropriate and so rude!

[@stephaniesands119]

YOU JUST KNOWWW that guys mom WANTED his wife to see her holding their newborn 🤬 she knows what she's doing

[@SocietalNoob]

she’s trying to divorce them, for sure.

[@TourettesMajestic]

I read the pregnancy text message one - for those curious, this man’s wife had deleted a text from his ex girlfriend telling him she was pregnant, and he didn’t find out he had a 5 year old daughter until he was being sued for child support. Messy as hell.

[@cocom3197]

Do you have the link?

[@TallTanAndLoud]

Thank you for sharing! I wanted them to choose this one. That sounds insane.

[@ESPHMacD]

Wasn’t his current wife one of the reasons they broke up in the first place? I felt like she was playing the long con to get that guy, waiting in the wings for ex to leave.

[@coleenm2963]

Do you perhaps have the link? Or could you say which sub-reddit it was posted under?

[@L3onking]

I KNEW IT. what an absolute piece of trash. One does not marry a person, they marry their family, that includes other children, being so insecure to deny a child of knowing their father cause of childish petty possessiveness is the biggest red flag. What else did she delete?

[@lillytaylor5752]

I love how the Ugly Sweater Story keeps getting mentioned and everybody being just dumbstruck about it. When I first saw that story on Instagram, I had to reread it a couple of times to comprehend that there are people like that 😑 Loving this episode, good stories! 😁

[@marley92282]

I thought for certain that you were going to introduce this guy as your stepbrother or half-brother because his voice and some of his verbal mannerisms are IDENTICAL to your dad’s lol

[@snowball0jb]

The mom 100% wanted to be caught by the wife. She knew what she was doing. I feel like it was a silent "haha I got what I wanted/he chose me over you"

[@cactuswitch631]

Exactly my thought. She extremely manipulative

[@Dagothae]

I'm gay and I think the Gay Rat dress is kind of funny, but not for a wedding

[@jennah3862]

This just in, 13-year-olds have the vocabulary of toddlers. But for real why wouldn't they know the word and context of being rejected??

[@captv334]

Yeah I was bullied when I was 13 and when I realized what was happening I remember going to my parents and tell them textually that I was being harrased by my classmates, sure at that age you are a baby but being 13 doesn't just make you dumb

[@Deryatari]

Absolutely true. There are so many eloquent and smart kids out there. I was bullied in school as well and could have been able to express myself in a similar way.

[@it.comes.around]

I think that given the context of the situation and the feelings of said 13 y.o., it’s hard to imagine they could have explain themselves so eloquently in that moment. I think a teen can 100% understand and communicate in this way, but I don’t believe even most grown adults moved to tears can communicate with such well phrased words. I believe OP may have embellished the brother’s words, but the meaning is still there.

[@zeneats9984]

I feel so bad for that little girl 😭😭 he could’ve handled that in a much more nuanced way, brutal honesty is not always the way to go!

[@tak4e4]

lol right? Like that would have been a core memory for me

[@TwoHotTakes]

Sameeee. Shit like that shapes us.

[@NameName-yj7lp]

The whole “ not everyone is going to like your gift” thing is learned over time by other people

[@vanaa2130]

Yeah I didn't agree with the guests opinion. Now's not the time to teach that lesson. It's ok not to like it. But she's 6 years old. Just pretend and tell her later and it would probably be a fun joke that he humoured her but didn't like it. And what made it worse for me, was the fact he paid her back.. the kid doesn't care about money. She cared about his reaction and doing something nice for him w her money. A kids view on money is not the same as an adults. Maybe when she's a preteen she would like that gesture but as a kid all you want is to make your parents happy:( boo to dad on this one.

[@SoobySays]

Take out the shit cologne and put in one you like.

[@juls2559]

honestly as good and understanding as jared can be i think he really needs to take a reality check and realize how cruel and dramatic life and ppl rly are. it’s weird that he is in so much denial that humanity is cruel that he says it’s “nerd fan fiction” he may not have had much trauma in his life but doesn’t mean he should just sideline anyone else’s experiences. look around you and realize that humans can be absolutely terrible. i love two hot takes podcasts so much but i definitely don’t wanna see jared back unless he grows tf up.

[@Loobaloopaloooo]

Absolutely. Felt so alone in feeling this. Deffo won’t be watching anything of his in future.

[@EmyNegro]

Driving me crazy listen to him be like haha all these feelings are fake. 13 yesrs old dont know anything, you can't express your feelings that young!!! You would throw her out of the wedding? That's so dramatic! Like no it's not? Are you nuts? Even him being like I would make jokes if my wife was talking about dating after she died, like i would date at the funeral. Really giving me ick vibes for sure, he seems like the type of guy who thinks he's a good partner, but just gaslights and belittles his partner.

[@Moonsnailthegreat]

A lot of his jokes felt desensitized and he kept trying to give weird advice that was obviously coming from a super binary/Herero perspective. I hate when ppl constantly bring gender into everything and make it all about men and women. He was annoying and joked about things when obviously he had never experienced anything like it.

[@yevgeniya3721]

I'm late to this ep but yeah when I started this ep I really liked him and thought he was funny but very soon I was struggling to give him the benefit of the doubt and if I rolled my eyes any harder they'd roll right out of my head. I got to the part where he said a 13 year old wouldn't know the word "rejection" and I was like...are you serious dude?? Did he get the developmental milestones of a 3yo and a 13yo mixed up? He just kept making jokes that were kinda in bad taste and honestly he seems like the type of comic that makes a lot of jokes about how much he hates his wife. I seriously wish the host would have pushed back a bit more. I wonder if maybe he was trying too hard to come up with bits and treating this like standup when he should have just shown up as just himself to talk like he would with a friend.

[@deborasza1806]

I know im super late but am I the only one who noticed just how much he was interrupting her? Omg it was driving me crazy, just not a vibe tbh. The underestimating of just how awful people are, how intelligent kids are, unable to look outside of his own experiences and undermining the possibility of something crazy happening to someone else under the guise of it being “fake”. Even if some posts are, the whole point is you’re just supposed to take it at face value and react as though it’s real, like relax lol.

[@brittttttt8125]

Thank goodness for notifications. I've officially caught up on the full length episodes and I needed a new one to listen to! Love your productions!!

[@kierastrout]

Same girl!

[@lexlarae8466]

Same. I just go and reverse their sort page and go for the old ones when I run out of new ones lol.

[@fumzsimmer1992]

That question on toxic mum and son relationships reminded me of the time my whole _I wanna marry a man like my dad_ mindset began. Basically, after my grandpa died my grandma came to live with us and my mum would put up with all her horrible comments my grandma would make towards her and not tell my dad (cos she's a sweetheart) but one day my dad overheard her mu grandma her how my mum she was a terrible daughter in law because she can't speak my dad's language (they're both from Nigeria but not the same tribe). My dad let my grandma have it and was like if you can't respect my wife as much as I love you mum you're going to have to go. My mum and grandma have made up since then but I don't want a man if he can't defend me like my dad did 😅

[@TdScar]

Respect for your mom for learning how to not harbor anger towards her. I am not like that at all lol. I would’ve never spoken to her again

[@avrilfan123]

the dad in the piggy bank story said “I don't want her turning out spoiled.” HUH? she bought something for you, how does that make her spoiled? i gotta say jared was dead wrong on this one because the dad was most certainly an asshole. the girl was six, the least he could do was pretend to like a present?

[@AtomicPuffin]

RIGHT even if u use it ONCE for her! Like my dude big fail. I'd wear awful perfume if my son bought it for me like this. N I HATE perfume. Its just a moment for the kid to feel empowered but he is just too narcissistic to care about his daughters feelings

[@Conformist138]

Agreed! Kids get their parents stuff all the time that's stupid or useless. I remember 1000 things I gave my parents that were cheap trinkets that they never would have liked, but they liked that their kids wanted to participate in giving. If he really only cared about how touched he was by his daughter's desire to give him a gift herself, he would have just praised her generosity and ignored his dislike of the cologne.

[@eleicha]

I strongly disagree with you all. She really learned a valuable lesson here and it's going to help her later on in life. She is going to be able to voice her opinion in a polite manner without having to fake liking stuff. If it was a drawing or something self made this would be different, but it's a bought gift that can easily be returned and the money can be put to something she or her family will actually enjoy.

[@viviennewenning3571]

RIGHT. He literally made me mad lol.

[@viviennewenning3571]

@@eleicha There are many better ways to teach her that without hurting her feelings. She is literally 6 and does not get that yet.

[@callmerere4360]

That half sibling story is so sad, yes you’re the asshole. I have a half brother 20 years my senior and we have a great friendship. Really sad to see that people can’t see other people happy, his mum is just so happy to be with someone else and bring a beautiful new child into the world… some people

[@MeJimi45]

The only scenario I can picture is if he had really bad relationship with his mom and they didn't contacted at all. If my dad would have another child I would even don't know it 😂

[@InTheNameOfLife1]

“Would you still love me if I was a lamp? 🥺” Energy from the second story lmao

[@heezypeasy8611]

Yesss! Getting THAT mad over a hypothetical is a bit ridiculous

[@Tmch678]

The one with the emotionally stunted AHole; he’s calling his “mothers actions” disgusting because she found someone to remarry and have a life together with? I’m with Jared, no one can seriously be this out of touch, how is this real lol.

[@cassidyhuffman9686]

Literally sounds like emotional incest .

[@jord654]

Have you heard the case of Susan Powell? The way the man wrote sounded so much like Josh Powell. Felt like that dude could be a woman serial killer with the way he talked abt his mom and little bro.

[@brooklynleighton2986]

as a gay girl, if someone wore a “gay rats” dress to my wedding i’d be PISSED. especially because she doesn’t know who knows of the meme or not. i didn’t know of this meme before this story, so i’d assume i was being called a rat. and to make a whole gay pride spectacle… like yes we’re gay but we want a regular ass wedding like str8 couples.

[@heezypeasy8611]

Right?! I'm not gay but my daughter is and I know she would be super pissed if someone wore a dress like that to her wedding!

[@tinkere7243]

True. Anyone wearing something to potentially upstage the wedding couple, is icky. You are a guest on their special day. It ain't about you buttercup. Also, if your date vetoes your outfit when you're an extension of his invitation ewww. Be thoughtful, not only of the wedding couple, but of your date.

[@mae6125]

As a lesbian, if she rocked up to my WEDDING in that I would be so offended and would just assume she’s homophobic 🤠

[@casrrole]

@@mae6125 no really, if a straight person called me a gay rat I would 100% call homophobia, no matter the intention. Imagine showing up to a wedding wearing a shirt that says “I support straight rats!”…….

[@carbonation-v8x]

@@mae6125 she honestly was homophobic

[@SullivanFamilyChaos]

My 4 Yo is in the car listening w me apparently and said if she buys a gift w daddy for me and I don’t like it I can’t return it I have to pretend I like it 😂😂😂😂 it’s funny when they comprehend more then you realize 🤦🏻‍♀️ & congrats on 300k

[@zoeinkerman969]

Imagine calling someone a rat through an outfit on their wedding day

[@carbonation-v8x]

so weird

[@andreasanchez9020]

The story with the Wife upset about him dating after she dies, is BATSHIT CRAZY. I mean honestly what the actual f**k . SMH.

[@k3upikachu]

I don't think the issue was his response being "yes"; I think it was the way he started talking about it like he was fantasizing about it like it had already happened 😂 dude was like "well, dead (still alive, right next to him) wife and I had some great times, and I really did love her, but I can't miss her forever. I owe it to myself to be happy and find someone new." Like damn dude just say "I would be devastated for a long time but eventually I think I'd try to move on"

[@danielareyes7878]

omg I love Jared energy!! He got my full attention once he said WE NEED TO CHANGE THE NAME OF MANHOLES! I was like HECK YES! PREACH IT ALLY!! PREACH IT!! I vote for more episodes with Jared.

[@havenharness4892]

You should def do a podcast episode called “stupid games win stupid prizes” where people do just stupid things (like the guy that one episode who wanted to win back his ex wife after cheating) and they won the stupid prize

[@NatyandNaty101]

I searched for this right on time ❤️ love this podcast

[@sav2040]

The half brother story literally made me cry. This man is literally 35 years old , he can’t seriously be so mean and hateful to someone who loves them and cares for them this is literally the harshest sorry you’ve ever shared 💔

[@itsmikki44]

if you think 13 year olds can’t express emotions very well, wait till you read all the journals i had. depressing af 😂😂

[@sashavann92]

As someone with 4 younger brothers, one currently 13, I can honestly say 13 year old boys are animals 😂😂

[@ScarletBegonia1974]

My first outing when Covid restrictions eased a bit was a small, outdoor stand up show at a local restaurant. Jared was the comic. I’d never heard of him before that night and he gave me much needed laughs! He now holds an endearing place in my heart.

[@cocom3197]

Can we have a link to the unread story please? Also- the Monster in law has definite enmeshment issues. Her refusal to leave was literally the biggest fuck you to the wife as a way to throw it in her face that regardless of the wife’s boundaries her son would always choose her. The fact that the husbands cursed his wife out in front of his mom just reassured his mother and strokes her ego. I hope the wife gets a divorce and full custody.

[@waltercronkite1387]

I think the crazier the first date, the better lol. When I was 16, I met this girl I really liked and we hung out after school that day, and everything was going great …. And then we got mugged at knife point by a full gang lol. So on our “first date” we ended up filling a police report together like 7 hours after meeting each other at school, and to this day 8 years later, we’re still so close! She was only in my country for 6 months, but we have been long distance best buddies for years now, and she is coming to stay with me this summer!

[@youngislander6928]

Morgan finally got the fart therapy she needed today 🤣

[@annieg2889]

The story of half sibling makes me want to cry. I was that 13 year old that was rejected by siblings that were 16 and 17 years older than me. Luckily my mom had 6 other children (my 6 half siblings) that never made me feel less than ❤️

[@ZMich8]

Congratulations on 300k!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@TwoHotTakes]

Thank you!!!

[@midnight.after.coffee4013]

This video gave me the energy to tackle the rest of my day. Great stories, great takes.

[@TryingMyWorst]

The little girl will absolutely remember that. My mom told me she didn't like my gift when I was around the same age and I still remember that shit 20+ years later

[@jasminmeraz374]

The last story, if dad didn’t pretend to swap scents with his favorite cologne and fake it till she forgot about it then there wouldn’t be a problem!

[@Hannnahh88]

I was thinking this! Would’ve been such a cute story to tell her later in life!

[@vanaa2130]

That one made me upset:'( The kid is 6, just humour her at that age.

[@SamK31]

100% the mom stayed over the two hour mark to purposely rub in the wife’s face that she got to the baby despite her and to drive a wedge between her son and his wife. She wanted to be caught.

[@catistired3007]

nooooo i wanted to hear the story of the wife that deleted the ex girlfriend's message about being pregnant...i guess i am a sucker for drama lmao

[@catistired3007]

@Betholomaus :3 i know, i think morgan told it in the video, but i wanted them to read the whole thing, ive been trying to find the post on reddit with no luck :(

[@AtorrisVsChadinel]

That story where the daughter got her father a gift is a great way to teach her not to buy anything for him in the future.

[@nevaehcore7026]

As a queer if someone came to my wedding in a gay rat dress I would be incredibly insulted and would make her leave. It feels hella homophobic regardless of what she intentions, like why are you comparing me to rats?

[@Moonsnailthegreat]

“as a queer” me. I will now be using this exact phrasing

[@MsMoonDragoon]

It should feel homphobic. the meme originated on 4chan and its not at all meant to be pro-gay.

[@kelseyfitzgerald872]

Wth is a gay rat dress?

[@plant.it.]

Omg I wasn't going to comment about this, I was just gonna let it go, but people really are this cruel. I'm glad you're lucky enough to not know that they are, but I witnessed cruelty beyond this level at a very young age varying from 5 year old bullies and weird ass adults who shit on kids You'd really be surprised how weird, petty and twisted people are 🤷

[@momomomo__]

i'm sorry but the visual of someone saying "i'm going this way, bye!" and then just disappearing into a whole is so fucking funny, i'm losing my mind

[@monaelayan]

Story 1: Fell into manhole on 1st date 4:27 Story 2: Told my wife I'd date again if she died 14:01 Story 3: Found my GFs underwear in my son's room 28:03 Story 4: TIFU developed lactose intolerance 33:55 Story 5: AITA for telling half bro I don't wanna be his friend 52:06 Story 6: AITA for allowing mom to visit against wife's wishes 1:00:19 Story 7: AITA for giving daughters piggy bank money back 1:16:52

[@chick5599]

THANK YOU

[@stephentorrey8727]

You missed TIFU-lactose intolerance at 33:55

[@monaelayan]

@@stephentorrey8727 thanks I fixed it!

[@ashleighholmes8422]

There’s another one at 39:31

[@Thatbeanbagchair]

Second to last story: honestly she should get out. He cannot defend you and will eventually turn into his mom. He already did by completely disrespecting her.

[@FernandoRodriguez-ts8xd]

As someone who grew up with a mum who didn’t appreciate the gifts I got her as a kid and used to tell me she didn’t like them, its extremely hurtful and sticks with you. I’m nearly 30 and it still hurts to think about. I now also have quite a bit of anxiety when I give gifts. The dads thinking is so off, the kid is not going to become spoilt because you said you appreciated and liked her gift?? Like what? He hurt that kid probably more than he realises and I hope he fixes it because gifts are a way to show love and he just rejected hers.

[@rebeccaapt245]

The gf/wedding dress story reminds me of another story I heard recently of a guy whose girlfriend wanted to wear an off-white dress to her boyfriends friends wedding. She claimed that since none of her friends think it’s a big deal, it’s not a big deal, but the boyfriend told her to change, and when she wouldn’t, she made a scene and then he went to the wedding without her. Turns out, nobody else was wearing white or off-white to the wedding, so he was right to say something.

[@vanaa2130]

You just don't wear white or cream even that's not that hard to understand,😭

[@lauren3227]

Ew the son one REALLY grossed me out. I would definitely have to throw away my underwear after realizing that my bf’s son had done that. I get that he’s a child but its really disheartening that creepy, gross, behavior like this starts so young in boys. :/

[@sashavann92]

As someone with 4 younger brothers all with special needs of varying degrees, one currently 13, I can honestly say that they're animals 😂 A friend of my Ma's has a 13 year old with some special needs and he has to take time to masturbate each day in his room. She caught him doing it on the sofa one day when the granddaughter (3) was there and dragged him to his room, telling him he was a filthy little shit and he knew exactly where he was supposed to do it 😂😂 Poor woman was traumatised, especially because he jizzed on her blanket and that the granddaughter was there

[@Jakebrand11208]

Apparently you don’t the creepy shit women do

[@russshh]

I also really appriciate you Morgan being so vulnerable here, like the farting-crying story, I sometimes also start crying when I'm feeling more vulnerable and something "random" happens, not really random, but something that on another day would not make me cry. thank your for normalising emotions!

[@carlieroseb3461]

Bro this dude has me cackling, and he is so genuine and engaging in a unique way. Loved this episode

[@madeline_raves]

I taught myself to play piano the same way my 2nd grade music teacher tried to teach us. You literally just have to put little pieces of tape labeling each of the keys. Then look up songs you want to learn on KZbin or google and it will tell you which notes to play. There’s specific videos that literally show a piano and highlight which keys to play. Eventually, as you learn the songs, you’ll start remembering on your own which key is which and you can take the tape off. I started doing this ever since that music teacher taught me and I never took actual piano lessons and I can play pretty well.

[@kxchibi1224]

i totally agree with Jared to change the name to "sewer", just because as a non native english speaker i can tell u, the word "manhole" is not common to hear on english classes, i didnt know the word, so when Morgan said "fall into a man hole" i thought it was something sexual or that op fell on a lie, so yeah, that word is problematic

[@faceofvision]

As a non native speaker I just thought it was some man-made hole... Like the one that's dug for some purpose, like for a foundation of a house, but then I googled it and... 💀💀💀

[@mocotojam6767]

I thought she was talking about a woman falling extra hard for a man. Like a rabbit hole 💀

[@aikoroggeman7914]

non native speaker and i thought it was a man's buthole

[@VerbriK]

Fr, I kinda figured out what it meant bc of the context of the story, but I had NEVER heard that word so I was like "Man.. what."

[@angeledelacruz9007]

Watch the movie house bunny and you’ll never forget the word 😭

[@idcwhatcoloritis]

It took me forever to realize where I knew him from. I saw his standup once. So funny. Glad to see him again.

[@KWhitehead23]

I’m over here thinking I’m gonna have a nice lunch break eating my burrito and watching THT….there should definitely be a trigger warning for heath care workers when C. Diff is going to be mentioned!

[@Hibbity_Hobbity]

I’m a therapist, and the question that can save your marriage is “Would you like validation (comfort, to be heard, understood…) or problem solving?”

[@Kmeou]

lmao that kid in the last story is gonna have that horrible foundational memory. and the dad shouldn't have had kids if he "doesn't understand kids" lol why impregnate if you dont wanna learn to parent.

[@Mudkip302]

Omg, this was my favourite episode so far! Been listening almost since the beginning and I just LOVED Jared as a guest! More Jared!

[@quin7495]

morgan is visibly annoyed and so am i 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@baybabe95]

I’m glad I’m not the only one picking up on this lol

[@tori8123]

My hospital calls a code green for security! I love the hospital speak 😂

[@NiViBee]

I'm only one story deep and Jared is a vibe 😌

[@carrotisalie]

Not a good one 👀

[@sarahr2760]

The story about the brothers moved me. I was almost 16 when my parents told me and my 14 year old sister that she was pregnant again. I went through a lot (especially since we only knew about 2 months before sister was born) I cried a lot and „blamed“ her before she was even born and spend days being angry. I mean, crying babies are not really a 16 year olds dream (she was born 5 days before my 16th, so I also blamed her for ruining that since I wasn‘t alowed to have the party I planned for months) but as soon as she was born I was so enchanted by her. I spend hours with her just hanging out, reading to her, driving her around in her pram. I‘m turning 21 soon, and she‘ll be 5. I love her to bits and I‘m happy about every minute we spend together, even though she of course get‘s on my nerves as well. It‘s not the typical sister relationship but it works for us very well, and she‘s happy her sister picks her up from Kindergarden and goes to the park with her.

[@Tinywonder99]

For the man hole story: On our first date my boyfriend walked straight into Ohio river flood water, I tried to tell him to stop but he was already in before I got the words out. He was so embarrassed. We've been together 2 years now.

[@D4YT0N4]

Are y'all still together

[@lyndsycarson8302]

im jumping to find his pod cast after this! So good! the doctor c-section thing would have been so funny during my c-section, i was strapped down like jesus and the pain in my shoulders has lasted 7 years and probably going to keep going. It would have been such a funny welcome distraction.

[@cassidya4062]

To the hospital baby kidnapping. I’ve seen it once. The mother was found to be on drugs with some charges of neglect/abuse. She was notified that the baby she delivered would be taken away. She stole the baby and managed to flee before the hospital was set on lockdown. Happy ending, police found her hours later at a park with baby unharmed

[@Dene868]

I did a research about the whole "Gay Rats" meme dress and I was surprised to see so many articles about it 💀💀💀

[@annavestermark2885]

About the only child who got an younger brother: he most definitely gave that kid some trauma. My heart is breaking.

[@vianeyboruel504]

We made these spring butterfly cards with our pictures on them for mother's day in second ...maybe third grade ...Mine was one of the best in the class and i was super proud of it and happy to give it to my mom....i found it when I was in 4th grade inside a giant suitcase she kept all her papers in...she had written a phone number on it like it was a post it, broke my heart ....haven't given her a monthers day gift since ..I'm 31 Now i get that it was just a silly present out of many that we probably made during the year and i should feel happy she kept it at all.....but it still hurts a little

[@TheSmileycece]

With the sibling story I kinda related in a way. My mother had a baby in her 40s, I was 17 at the time. My other sibling was in their mid 20s at the time. We grew up seperated and at points neglected in different forms. So when a new baby came along it was like? Why did you choose to have a baby when you couldn't even look after the ones who have already properly? Instead we had to assume parental roles in the end. I know my story differs slightly in that I had a lot of major responsibilities from my sisters birth for her whilst the writer didn't.

[@hekimeti1614]

It does not differ slightly; it differs majorly.

[@ClarissaMcLaughlin]

Lol the sibling one, my husband and I are also 22 years older than his half-sister and we were married just a few months after she was born. We love her to death and can’t wait to help introduce her to the world as she grows up.

[@emy1511]

I was tears streaming laughing so hard my vision went black when this co host said "What is he suppose to do? Look at the moon and yell her name?"

[@EmilyGrace-gw7im]

Omg animal from three days grace was one of my fav songs when I was a kid

[@evahutton6479]

When my husband and I were dating he laid on top of me while we were playing mortal Kombat on the PS4 and I accidentally farted on him and he jumped up laughing hysterically, I was also dying of laughter to much too even be embarrassed 😂 that was only 4 months in, now 5 years later lol. This episode gave me a good laugh

[@livewellwitheds6885]

"farting like a machine gun" killed me 🤣🤣🤣

[@tiger-rm4wj]

the "not everyone is going to like your gift" isnt a lesson that a father should teach his six year old child. im sitting here listening to this episode while working and jared is lowkey getting on my nerves playing devils advocate for everyone lmaooo

[@18pristine]

hey i love the show and all, but like get some live plants in there to replace the artificial plants. there are low maintenance plants out there that can dress up a space really well

[@sadieann1036]

I hope the post pardum mom/wife divorces him, gets a protection order against the monster in law, and moves far away.

[@MzJamaicanBeauty12]

When it comes to parents in the room for childbirth, they're not there as a grandparent but as a parent. My mom was present when I had both my kids because she's my mom, not because she needed to see the birth of her grandbabies but because I needed her support. If something went wrong, my husband and I discussed it and then asked for her thoughts to be sure we didn't make choices too emotionally. Childbirth is scary, it's beautiful, but so many things can change or go wrong so quickly.

[@sashavann92]

I had my mum there for my 1st because the Dad had been murdered when I was 7.5 months pregnant, and I wanted her support. She's also had 7 kids, so she could explain anything to me if I needed her too. Just the Dad there with the second, and he was surprisingly good for such an abusive asshole. Now 23 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and the Dad is the best man I've ever had in my life. It's made this pregnancy SO much easier and an absolute joy to go through

[@laurenbrown16]

YOU HIT 300K!!!!! YAYYY

[@TwoHotTakes]

It's surreal omg

[@ninee177]

ABSOLUTELY LOVE JARED!

[@sumpin_or_other]

Hi Morgan, my partner and I love watching your podcasts. She's a huge fan and introduced me to your stuff. Her birthday is coming up and thought it would be a great present if either a 'Happy birthday Laura' was included in the next episode or if you wished her a happy birthday on IG (I can provide the profile name privately). Thank you!

[@amandagrant528]

As a person who has had Cdiff it’s terrible I was in the hospital for over a week on my death bed. I’m so scared of germs now

[@luanavaughn5000]

Eeeeek don’t come at me when I say this but ughhhhhhh, I can’t with his voice. Also, omg this man wouldn’t stop talking……. Like it’s called Two hot takes, emphasis on the two. Apart from that, great stories you picked. If you would, can you read the “wife deleted a message from his ex that she was pregnant 5 yrs ago” in one of your episodes? I’m dying to know what that story is all about.

[@rachxllx2206]

I agree and was surprised at so many positive comments. I had to take breaks to get through this episode. It wasn't enjoyable at all and his opinions were offensive to me honestly.

[@rachxllx2206]

My mom was watching with me and felt the same unfortunately :/

[@lns4life]

Morgan if you see this PLEASE have more comedians on! Lol.😂 i was crying by the end of this. So hilarious. This and the stiff socks episode were my favorite. Soo funny.

[@beckabelle5927]

I think this is my first time seeing an episode with Jared but I can't stop laughing! Hilarious! 💀🤣

[@alethealarrad-tye3299]

I did nit expect to hear Three Days Grace being mentioned here 😂 Still listening to them like 8 years later

[@iheartpiano18]

Jardia does not clear up on it’s own!!!!! Like at ALL!!!!! I got it because I used to go to school in a town that didn’t have the best water. It was AWFUL! the treatment lasted for months and made me lose 15 pounds in a bad way. I looked so ill and felt awful. He should get treated. Loved this episode by the way 😉

[@MvpQE]

I’ve been binge watching literally all of your videos & they’re all amazing. However, this is my all time favorite episode I will be sharing with people. I was cracking up the. Entire. Time. HAAHA. Great!!!! Love your channel!

[@rosesarebluesometime]

Not everyone has a “normal” childhood, Jared. 🙄

[@kelseyfitzgerald872]

Are you ok?