"Living through the eyes of our parents does not educate us enough for marriage"-Kaffy

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[@LucyGaaga]

I remember how my parents forced me into marriage at the 17 but I left the marriage the day I stepped into his house because my spirit didn’t want him and at that age, the only thing on my mind was to get my degree. Thank God I took that decision, I am happily married now with kids.

[@manimarie237]

you're a strong woman. I pray that God will bless you soo much to nurture your children with so love and divine wisdom.

[@LucyGaaga]

@@manimarie237 Thank you Mani

[@sandrabraimoh5317]

Congratulations 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽.

[@toyintube]

I am so chuffed for you. You did the right thing. I just wish many more people were and are as bold as you were.

[@LucyGaaga]

@@toyintube 🙏

[@joyakahome1551]

Kaffy is a very intelligent lady. She speaks maturely and deep. I love that she can show her vulnerability about her life to the world. Its beautiful! I wish a lot of women can learn from all these things she has said. Marriage is not for child's play.

[@Angel.Kariba]

For u to say Kaffy is a very intelligent woman who speaks maturely & deeply, shows your own lack of wisdom! And which Nigerian women are u telling to learn from these loose celebrity women who turn themselves into victims of their own making cos they were greedily pursuing money & fame, above all morals & values? First of all, she is using her parents' problems to deflect from her own mistakes that she made as an adult woman of 30, & she's not showing vulnerability by undressing her parents for public consumption after they are already deceased! She's being self-centered with no consideration for her dead parents' dignity! Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love!

[@joyakahome1551]

@@Angel.Kariba for starters, you can state your opinions without being abusive. You cannot educate someone with a negative attitude. Geez! This your typical Nigerian way of reasoning is not the way to go. Secondly, you are blaming her for being imperfect. Are you perfect yourself??? People with your type of mentality are the ones who love to live fake life to please others. Your attitude is the reason why a lot of people in Nigeria have problems because they find it difficult to air their issues to others. When people speak about their family problems to others, they can heal from that experience and help other people to heal too. What she experienced with her parents and her marriage is not new, it has happened in 90 per cent of most Nigerian homes. Kaffy was a younger woman when she married her husband and she has learned so much from her marriage which has taught her some life lessons. You did not listen to the interview when she said "having that thought that someone can make you happy is the most selfish thinking anyone can have for themselves". This statement encapsulates everything. She has learnt from her mistakes and she is growing to be a better individual. What she has passed through is similar to what most Nigerians pass through who are not even celebrities. And she is also right by stating the traumatising relationship she encountered with her parents that can affect her future relationship if she doesn't go for psychotherapy.

[@riablack3450]

@@Angel.Kariba For starters I couldn't go through your bullshit. Next you already know you're bullshit. Furthermore, even if it were reverse - a 22yr old woman marrying a 30, 40, 100yr old man, the marriage problems would still be her fault. It just has to be ONLY hers not the man's, society, background or any other thing. Lol. A big blob of cold bullshit.

[@adenikedaniyan6541]

Let her speak. If u have the chance, will u hide? We always judge others yet our mistakes too are ever b4 us. Learn what u need n leave d rest for others who need it.

[@adenikedaniyan6541]

@@joyakahome1551 u said it far better. Thumbs up. Nigerian fake lifestyle.

[@joyugbome]

Was just discussing with my bestie that our parents just look at our age and start troubling us for a husband or wife, they don't bother to educate us on what marriage is and what it takes to have a successful union, etc.

[@aderonkefalade3640]

But how best can you educate?

[@joyugbome]

@@aderonkefalade3640 your parents can sit you down and have concrete conversations with you. They can teach you about red flags, what you should tolerate and not tolerate from a man. They can inquire about your relationship and ask you deep questions about who you are dating. They can teach you about loving and respecting yourself. I got married last year and I can say Marriage is more than what our parents make it seem before us.

[@Blossom_flourish]

@@joyugbome You are right,even motherhood they need to teach us what to expect,how to deal with body image,combine child raising with family etc.

[@OnesTips]

@@joyugbome Let's stop blaming our hardworking parents. they tried their best. they can also easily blame their own parents too, after all you can't give what you don't have! they already sent you to school to be educated. And one thing education does is to expand your thinking faculty. So you can think! and make decisions, mistakes, own up to YOUR OWN mistakes, learn and grow from it. A failed marriage is just like a failed relationship, business etc.. cry, learn and go get more equipped and move on, after all life itself is a journey. I used to think this way and I am glad the spirit of God in me educated me. The society and its way of thinking is what has failed generationsssss. I hope our generation will correct this and APPLY the change. Goodluck

[@joyugbome]

@@OnesTips my comment was not aimed to put all the blame on the parents. There's this saying I love. "Do the best you can until you know better. And when you know better, do better." Our parents may not have known better, but a lot of problems can be avoided if parents can do better with parenting. A failed marriage is not like a failed business. Have you ever had a failed marriage? Are you married? For how long have you been married? Parents don't know to educate their children on marriage but know how to pressure you to death to marry?? Why? As we evolve, it our our responsibility to break these chains and do better than our parents did. Yes we should own up to our mistakes, but if someone had told me, don't do this because these are the consequences or do this and that, it would have helped. Goodluck to you too.

[@CBRIDYTV]

Crying is not a sign of weakness it is the body’s natural response to pain and The part through which the body heals from deep wounds especially heart breaks. You are strong Kaffy stronger than you even know. Let the tears flow so you can heal faster. When my mum died I refused to cry because I was trying to look strong. Not crying led to more deeper wounds that took longer than it should to heal. Tears heal wounds.

[@toyintube]

You are correct. People need to allow themselves to let the tears flow as a response to emotional hurt or trauma. Our culture doesn't even allow men to cry. Next thing you hear is "stop crying like a woman". Asides from the fact that that is a misogynistic statement, it also makes men hold in the tears for fear of appearing weak or of being called weak by others. You need to cry, then speak about the issue, confide in the right people who will support you mentally and emotionally (or any other way) so you can regain your strength and then you move on. That's how you become strong again. What you must never do is wallow in perpetual tears, self pity, regret, unforgiveness etc all leading to a bottomless pit of depression.

[@CBRIDYTV]

@@toyintube oh sis you are absolutely spot on and So true. Thank you

[@ogochukwumadufor1353]

"If you keep nurturing certain thoughts, it will make you sick inside " so true. I'm taken that away . Thanks kaffy👍.

[@ibrahimajikawo4271]

The Body listens to the Mind... intercellularlly ✍️

[@vivicatejumadeoyebisi306]

I agree mental evaluation courses is a necessity

[@Angel.Kariba]

Well, you don't need mental evaluatiion to know that, as a 30 yr old woman, tying a 22 yr old man down with a pregnancy is most likely not going to end well! Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other.

[@anndiestephen7671]

If they mentally evaluate you, will you pass?

[@isaacoladimeji4741]

Much as I agree with Kaffy, the truth is how many of our parents have this kind of exposure/education on marriage, Remember you cannot give what you dont have. I think the burdens lies most on the shoulder of the two adults coming together to marry.....Each partner needs to work on themselves and try to desist from using our parents relationship as a ''standard''....The waiting period for both male and female is a time to acquaint ourselves with relevant education and information on the subjest matter(Marriage).....So that we can build better homes and in turn better society

[@nataliemartins3559]

Agreed with you.

[@Veeluvstocook]

I live for this comment…

[@TataARuth]

Yes!!! This is it, just what I was thinking. Parents can only tell you as much as they know, nothing more.

[@raymond3348]

Oh my God, Kaffy is loaded with knowledge and heavily enlightened! Very powerful credential required for todays woman👌

[@genovevakato3409]

Thanks for sharing this important information. I also agree with you that girls and boys are not prepared enough for the marriage. I am married for 40 yrs. However it is in the last ten years that I discovered my space and confronted my husband on the various issues which hurt. He was like... really did that hurt☺️☺️🤭

[@t.licious4946]

Lord I wish I could listen to her all day. Shes so articulate and intelligent. I felt every emotion. Gosh. It's hard to want to hear the other side of the story after listening to her

[@rachaelayedibe1216]

True. Nobody can heal you but you. Thank God for time intervention. Our joy or happiness is not in anyone but in God. ❤❤❤ you sis.

[@joylm9108]

I have always said this. We are in the age of information and we should be able to educate ourselves than limit our life experiences and exposure through the lens of our parents. Las las we will live with the consequences of our decisions whether we are guided by our parents or not. Our generation knows better and we should learn from the experiences of others we see read from the internet and social media and not those false lessons we took From movie dramas. All those movie dramas painted a false notion of what marriage and relationships entails. In recent times relations and marriages are getting freaking harder to make make and maintain with modernity.

[@EbotTiku]

This 🙌🏾

[@okokonscholastica8871]

It's hurts to see the strong Kaffy break down in tears

[@Jenniferuktv]

Deep and emotional Kaffy, you r a strong woman

[@Angel.Kariba]

She's just playing victim of decisions she made in pursuit of fame & money! Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love! SHe made her bed with eyes wide open,so she just needs to eat her shame & move on, instead of trying make herself a victim to extent of even undressing her dead parents for public consumption!

[@skylarkauto7380]

I have always been her no 1 fan! Breaking barriers

[@omololaajayi1198]

I always knew there was something to Kaffy. I could feel it

[@hannahn7375]

You are an enlightened being sister. May our paths cross someday. God bless you . Continue to shine your light.

[@polycarpelogie5248]

I like the way this Kaffy speaks. Good English, clear and matured communication.

[@marvelousnwajei7349]

Exactly! You are right my sister.

[@fanreviewnaija8894]

Thank you kaffy for sharing

[@kind2423]

Wow.. this feeding my soul

[@adetounrukky4372]

Love this!!!

[@leodelicious865]

Being single is bliss even the bible said it 1corin 7 read thru it, ladies stop falling for societal pressure. Enjoy your life everybody doesnt have to marry focus on God, focus on other things in your life marriage doesn't make you any less of who you are. There is no reward in heaven for marriage you are answerable for your life and yourself all these other things dont matter.

[@Abebi07]

Preach Sis🤌🤌🤌🤌

[@ogieriakhijoan8075]

While enjoying be single avoid fornication because there is price 4 it

[@leodelicious865]

@@ogieriakhijoan8075 sex is not the only enjoyment in life, you can be celibate and still enjoy life. Women do not require sex as much as men. Women can go years without sex it's not a requirement for us to enjoy our lives.

[@ogieriakhijoan8075]

No problem I pray anyone trying it , is able to stay celibate and pure, no masturbation , gay , homosexual, nothing of such at all,the pleasure derive from food , is different from that derived from vacations , trips etc, pleasure derived from watching movie , attending event , is different from the one derived from playing music, having fun time with siblings, so do pleasure derived from having intercourse differs too, it can never be compared ,anyway , congrat to all choices.

[@Abebi07]

@@ogieriakhijoan8075 Wow! I luv how you broke it down😂😂😂Truly, we live in a world of diversity.

[@obi_na]

Kaffy is so enlightened..

[@UK-sm4co]

She is such a sweet heart. I wish you the very best Kaffy

[@Angel.Kariba]

She's just playing victim of decisions she made in pursuit of fame & money! Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love! SHe made her bed with eyes wide open,so she just needs to eat her shame & move on, instead of trying make herself a victim to extent of even undressing her dead parents for public consumption!

[@susanblossom9487]

Love you kaffy. You are one hell of a strong woman. Keep soaring

[@Angel.Kariba]

She's just playing victim of decisions she made in pursuit of fame & money! Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love! SHe made her bed with eyes wide open,so she just needs to eat her shame & move on, instead of trying make herself a victim to extent of even undressing her dead parents for public consumption!

[@teenblisswithladyfaithziga2780]

One of the best I've watched

[@natoyabailey9439]

Amen.... She Spoke truth

[@Angel.Kariba]

What TURTH? Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy, you don't need cooples's therapy for this, just common sense any 30 yr old woman should hve! ! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love!

[@cynthiaonyinyechi6162]

I so much connect with this video. Be strong Kaffy

[@Angel.Kariba]

She's just playing victim of decisions she made in pursuit of fame & money! Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love! SHe made her bed with eyes wide open,so she just needs to eat her shame & move on, instead of trying make herself a victim to extent of even undressing her dead parents for public consumption!

[@somayinaayerite7643]

I love you Kaffy. You are a beautiful soul ❤

[@Angel.Kariba]

She's just playing victim of decisions she made in pursuit of fame & money! Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love! SHe made her bed with eyes wide open,so she just needs to eat her shame & move on, instead of trying make herself a victim to extent of even undressing her dead parents for public consumption!

[@offiongokon6901]

I love this lady😘😘😘😘

[@olusolaashiru3528]

I agree with Kaffy 100/100 on this one.

[@zeea6507]

All the interviews are deep. Would have been good to be able to watch the full episode.

[@preciousisiguzo2052]

If you want to watch full episode I think you pay , try and read about it on his KZbin Chanel I am also paying 😜

[@keziaquaye9959]

That is what I don't get, I enjoy his interviews but I don't see why I have to pay for data to watch and then pay him as well to watch his interviews....its sad

[@zeea6507]

@@preciousisiguzo2052 ah ok not that deep will be watching the short clips. Thank you

[@peacekanu4391]

@@keziaquaye9959 I totally agree with you,truly sad indeed. i can afford to pay but I wont the short clips with my already paid data is ok joor what kind of tin is dis biko?

[@keziaquaye9959]

@@peacekanu4391 same here my sister. I can also afford to pay but I would not do that. I don't know why people are looking for every means possible to make money out of people. It's just so sad

[@keephopealivewithannstevens]

I agree with you Kaffy: The body responds to the mind

[@iamsosasmama]

It's all good gorgeous. Crying is cathartic.

[@wiltuhoward8164]

I so agree with Kaffy.

[@Middleofwealth80]

I can't watch her cry😭. She's is a strong woman

[@graceemate5355]

Kaffy just too strong a woman...love you beautiful

[@Angel.Kariba]

what is strong about making stupid mistakes as an adult woman? Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love!

[@oriode2783]

Love you both 🖤🖤🖤

[@kingamar8780]

A journey to closure can be fruitless

[@rubicon2608]

👏🏼👏🏼

[@SandyCoco1]

Chude God bless you. This channel is really opening my eyes

[@bryanokojie4738]

Me I was a married illiterate wen I got married...How I wish I knew what I know now ...I have been in and out of depression for the past 5yrs...It's 10yrs being married but am so unhappy 😭😭.. My only consolation is My kids

[@Rainolivexo]

Sorry you are hurting.

[@blessingsaflow4854]

Really sorry to hear this. So what are your options for bringing stability and happiness back to your life or do you want to spend the rest of your life in this difficult manner

[@faithhope8920]

She looks so class, very beautiful woman with a good soul

[@giftaremu3816]

Kaffy, u are great.... You have sense

[@Angel.Kariba]

What SENSE? A woman that married for money, over values & morals? Her ex was only 22 when she became pregnant, she was 30! A 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, so 30 year woman should know that tying down a 22 yr old with a pregnancy has very high chance of being a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! ANd she hardly knew the young man's character when she allowed herself to get pregnant! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. So she married for money, jsut that the tables have now turned and her career is on the High, while his stalled after PSquare split! She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love! She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love!

[@rachaelorhokpodeta5229]

I love her 💕

[@mhizjoycetv1141]

Kaffy may God bless your strength 💪

[@Angel.Kariba]

She's just playing victim of decisions she made in pursuit of fame & money! Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love! SHe made her bed with eyes wide open,so she just needs to eat her shame & move on, instead of trying make herself a victim to extent of even undressing her dead parents for public consumption!

[@neulite24]

Kaffy is an Icon. Excellent interview!

[@Angel.Kariba]

What ICON? A loose woman who purposely made wrong decisions as an adult woman in pursuit of money & fame, above all morals & values? She's just playing victim of decisions she made in pursuit of fame & money! Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love! SHe made her bed with eyes wide open,so she just needs to eat her shame & move on, instead of trying make herself a victim to extent of even undressing her dead parents for public consumption!

[@efeotiadeyemi1680]

Love you loads sis

[@salomebanigobriggs8534]

Kaffy is a smart woman🥰

[@valentineachum1020]

Kaffy is just phenomenal!

[@graceudeani8327]

When both couples are journeying to become like Christ, pressing into God . It’s awesome . Everyone’s trying to replace God with a lot of ( 10 keys to psych improvement , lessons from bling duke etc ) is the reason for a lot of bad things. Only God can teach man how to live .

[@nanfwangdabiring1520]

Aunty, they will never agree with your view, rather they are comfortable with the so-called MOGs and the epistles they managed to twist from scriptures,

[@arnoldelue5002]

Chude and His Anointing for crying. Good recommendation for more evaluations before Marriage is allowed. Humanity should ring the utmost standard. lessons learnt indeed makes us better.

[@tochukwu.o1]

So sorry she had to go through all that 😔.

[@Angel.Kariba]

What did she go through! She's just playing victim of decisions she made in pursuit of fame & money! Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love! SHe made her bed with eyes wide open,so she just needs to eat her shame & move on, instead of trying make herself a victim to extent of even undressing her dead parents for public consumption!

[@tochukwu.o1]

@@Angel.Kariba I'm still sad she had to go through that, you've analysed everything from your own lens and that's OK. Still doesn't make it fact. I don't think she's playing victim, she's telling her story. She now righting her wrongs, her mistakes and I'm happy for her. I also pray for all the parties involved to find peace. This is life, people make mistakes and it's ok to move pass it.

[@fisayoolumide1793]

I must join now.

[@mariaadhiambo4738]

That dress is cute 💓💓💓💓🥰🥰🥰

[@gloriaoe4400]

She is right.

[@oluwayemisiakaaka3163]

I support her ideas 100%.

[@toyintube]

I didn't know she was divorced. I'm happy she's handling her life issues well. If we look like our struggles, nobody will look right. Lol She is so right, people should not enter into a marriage arrangement without understanding what it all entails and would require. Too many people too often go into marriage blindly. And as much as we need to enlighten ourselves about the requirements of marriage, our parents, family and society also need to desist from pressuring people into marriage. Many people have not been raised right and as a result will be a menace to another person's child or even to each other. I've heard some parents say, "this child is so unruly or does not have ambition. Maybe if he/she finds someone to marry they will have some focus". I don't even know what to say to that except if that is not potentially setting another person's child up for failure, I don't know what to call it. What your child needs is not marriage, they need God and therapeutic help to get their acts together. A wife or husband is not a therapist.

[@nengiskitchen]

It's actually very difficult relieving some memories...

[@eseodigie6339]

Its soo difficult

[@OnesTips]

Let's stop blaming our hardworking parents. they tried their best. they can also easily blame their own parents too, after all you can't give what you don't have! they already sent you to school to be educated. And one thing education does is to expand your thinking faculty. So you can think! and make decisions, mistakes, own up to YOUR OWN mistakes, learn and grow from it. A failed marriage is just like a failed relationship, business etc.. cry, learn and go get more equipped and move on, after all life itself is a journey. I used to think this way and I am glad the spirit of God in me educated me. The society and its way of thinking is what has failed generationsssss. I hope our generation will correct this and APPLY the change. Every ADULT should own up to their own choices. Goodluck

[@alagiejabbi7763]

You are right 😊

[@Daizyonceagain]

Stop writing notes.. I knew this long ago but you this stubborn heads ... See you will keep distributing your trauma.. Every Naija needs to hear this.. Ignorance is a disease..you are playing spiritual.. Like marriage is not made on earth.. You are an impractical person.. Keep quoting scriptures don't get real okay..most marriages are groomed by culture not your god.. Until you apply all aspect to prepare for it.. Some of you don't know the mental health of who you married, some of you don't even know if they are well groomed.. You just want to get off quickly before you hit 30..shior.

[@co6429]

She was not blaming, she was pointing out areas of improvement to reflect modern marriage.

[@KiRetteCouture]

That same Spirit of God deals with people on a case by case basis. People's childhood experiences do affect and shape them. The issue is how they react. Some come out stronger, some may not even survive it. Becoming a parent is a decision (in most cases). People owe it to their children to be intentional about their emotional and other types of welfare.

[@Angel.Kariba]

@@co6429 She is not only blaming, but deflecting from her own mistakes that she made as a 30 yr old adult woman by undressing her parents for public consumption! She openly si talking about the mistakes in her parents marriage, but won't talk about why her own marriage failed, and it has nothing to do with it being a modern marriage! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy, there are not many modern marriages in her situation! This is not even so much about the 8 year age difference, it is because most 22 yr men don't even have marriage on their mind, so u don't force it on them by tying them down with a pregnancy!

[@aderonkeadebowalealabi]

Yeaaaaa........I love this episode though

[@ezenwadarlington8509]

Thank god you now know it all now . That means there is no excuse for your children to fail .

[@lorlahgreenworld5103]

It’s Alright darling Kaffy…

[@SamsonAdeyemi]

If you do one year, no one will marry...you have so long to learn (all of us) but we don't pay attention...instead we are waiting for a particular one year or section to be trained for marriage...marriage training is a continuous work, you keep updating day in day out and not one off.

[@dentaldiscjockey8405]

This was tough

[@nwankwoperpetual7985]

If only people know what marriage is... It's not a bed of roses, that's the truth we were told. But no one should make it a bed of thorns

[@corazontambe5073]

Wisdom

[@kiyonsieunice4133]

Please how do I get her full story

[@acefully4703]

Most modern women are so terrible at choosing longterm partners...the gag is. The men that would stick around for longterm are not typically the type that modern women would ordinarily pick...

[@acefully4703]

@Ngozi. Your position is spot on.

[@aishaibrahimabbas5867]

IKaffy has an jntelligent take on life.

[@Dera7101]

Kaffy 🤍

[@skillfulgist6422]

Please ma don't go into depression

[@olabisibhadmus4157]

Marriage means mar your age in women if care is not taken it is a death deal.Men think twice before you make a move if you are not ready for marriage, suspend or avoid it. Women are now wiser.Those on it endow your wife with quality love not just love,she will surely repay you with her total submission, we understand what you want.

[@michaelonyeka8313]

Before saying Yes I do to a man or woman, does it mean both parties do not know each other properly? Just asking.

[@bummylere]

Good morning Sir! Please how can one be a member in order to have access to all videos. I already subscribed. What’s the next step please

[@WithChude]

Kindly use the link- youtube.withchude.com/join

[@rukayatbakre6281]

@@WithChude the page is not available

[@christopheradedeji29]

I think kaffy is seeing red flags now because of the issues. She had tolerated all the red flags before. Marriage is a lot of tolerant

[@Angel.Kariba]

No, she saw the HUGE red flags then, but ignored them because she was after the fame & money! She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love! Her ex was only 22 when she became pregnant, she was 30! A 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, so 30 year woman should know that tying down a 22 yr old with a pregnancy has very high chance of being a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! ANd she hardly knew the young man's character when she allowed herself to get pregnant! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. So she married for money, jsut that the tables have now turned and her career is on the High, while his stalled after PSquare split!

[@eca6545]

@@Angel.Kariba mumu she has always been more financially stable than her ex. Nigerians must blame the woman

[@kylieking8163]

But she said it herself now. We don't see it because of love

[@olalekanore7111]

Ok

[@zaynabhammajo2109]

I'm unable to subscribe using my verve card. Why na Chude? Pls include it in the payment options. Thank you

[@WithChude]

Kindly send a mail to [e-mail] to get this issue sorted

[@bgsonsthriving.]

❤️

[@christneirinck5670]

Even beautiful hard working khafy chop breakfast too God help us single ladies ijn

[@hgdbless1555]

It doesn't matter what our parent teaches us about marriage. it will only be good as a foundation because we all as ladies are not getting married to the same man even Mother to daughter. Its all different men or women. Marriage can be taught to some extent, the rest is individual .

[@christianlady]

It depends on who your parents are. Mine did their best.

[@kind2423]

You are an exception to the rule because most African households are dysfunctional

[@Blossom_flourish]

Kudos to them

[@Angel.Kariba]

Her parents had nothing to do with her marriage failing. SHe's talking about her parents to deflect from own mistakes she made as an adult 30 year woman. Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love! This is what she should be talking about cos this is what is affecting lots of women nowadays, gredy, chasing after fame & moeny, & ignoring all red flags and throwing all morals to the side in their pursuits!

[@carlynenochchi3703]

Funny ksffy thumb up girl

[@raheemakadir5148]

E don cast, last last …..

[@BlessingAdachukwu]

There should be therapy for couples before marriage, its important.

[@Angel.Kariba]

Her marriage failed because she tied down a 22 yr old she hardly knew with a pregnancy, you don't need cooples's therapy for this, just common sense any 30 yr old woman should hve! ! At 30 years old, regardless of your upbring or whatever your parents didn't tell u about marriage, normal common sense should have told you that a 22 year old is barely an adult, he's just starting to learn who he is as a person, so he most likely doesn't know what he wants in a woman or relationship & that a 22 yr old lacks relationship & life skills to be in a position to make permanent life changing decisions, like bring a child into this world. A few 22 yr olds can have the maturity, however, when a 30 year woman to lies down with a 22 yr old & ties him down with a pregnancy, she should know, that she most likely created a recipe for disaster & not an everlasting marriage! They started dating early 2011, she gave birth same year, so she got pregnant few months into their relationship & they got married the following year. So issues of trustworthiness, faithfulness, commitment, ability to deal with disagreements in her partner weren't even of a concern to her cos they didn't date long enough to know this about each other. She was a struggling dancer/choreographer. He was a promising music producer & had just been hired, by PSquare as their lead drummer & music director. Psquare was the biggest music act in whole of Africa & were sitting at the Top of the music industry untouchable & their young Music Director was sitting right up their with the band & had the admiration & envy of many in the Music Industry. This is what she was blinded with, not Love!

[@numokeji8023]

Is this not his page why are there only clips of what he does? I can’t see myself subscribing to this page only to watch clips?

[@benb4481]

Become a member and you can see the full episodes

[@kiv_daniels]

@@benb4481 How please?

[@WithChude]

@@kiv_daniels To watch the full episode, kindly join the membership with the link- youtube.withchude.com/join

[@WithChude]

To watch the full episode, kindly join the membership with the link- youtube.withchude.com/join

[@patrickpedro6458]

nobody talks about her display on the interview, her mindset towards man 👨

[@nanfwangdabiring1520]

And the fact that she took advantage of someone who doesn't know his left and right, how woman (wey don cross 30) wan take enjoy marriage with someone in his early 20's?

[@samuelikonallaholokpo9063]

There are parents and there are parents. Many parents don't know themselves. Grow under anyone without self knowledge and you will definitely pick up where they left off.🙏🏾 Las las, most people I have met are still learning. That's why parents remain the best teachers.

[@s.b6237]

Chude you need to be uploading full clips here if not your subscribers won't grow‼️ The more subscribers & views you have, the higher the amount you get in your account by KZbin. Or aren't you aware of this❓

[@ItsAllAnillusion]

Please help us tell him oh

[@temiloluwadurojaiye]

Lol he already has a subscription based platform. That’s where the full thing is posted. Check it out. See the description box

[@WithChude]

To watch the full episode, kindly join the membership with the link- youtube.withchude.com/join

[@thelifeofaraoulwa6469]

q

[@oboroobagbemi9603]

chude time is too short, we don't get to hv d fill benefits of d ur quests experiences

[@Rukilawal]

I have a feeling Chude is gay

[@jaystan4597]

My sister don't bring your parents into ur failed marriage. Our generation call our parent's advice old school. Why marriages fail more is because we think we are wiser than our parent's.

[@nanfwangdabiring1520]

End of discussion, because I believe at some point in time either uncles/aunties or some more experienced folks must have talked her out that contraption (unbalanced marriage) but downplayed it (old school advice)

[@happylee2297]

What do you expect when you went and marry your grandson. Abeg shift

[@akwaraomamuyovwi2565]

lmaooo which one is grandson again😅😅😅😅 that word got me laughing

[@QueenBX246]

So because she's a couple years older than her ex-husband means she should be treated badly by him?

[@happylee2297]

@@QueenBX246 you call a whole 10 years couple of years? You and I know a 15 yr old lady and. A 15 yr old guy cannot match in maturity the lady will definitely be more matured than her male counterpart. Now going low to marrying a guy you are a decade older than. Abeg shift.

[@QueenBX246]

My dear, there are so many couples around the world and in Nigeria with wives a lot older then their husbands and their men "adore" them. Yes, a dicey dynamic to manage in this part of the world but kaffy's decision to marry a younger man is no justification for abuse.

[@nanfwangdabiring1520]

@@QueenBX246 well it's not an excuse to be abused, but she failed to apply reasoning and followed her emotions. initially, it wasn't marriage, until bele come enter. Actions have reactions. The same goes for her husband too, and no be say the red flag no dey there oh, e dey but we choose to close our eyes and then later cry our lives out (male/female). But just as she got that which was meant for her (due to her personal decision) everyone is gonna get theirs too. Just stay chiseled and be sharp (Rooted in scriptures).

[@adabaibe2009]

I personally think Kaffy has ongoing anger issues which probably was bought on by her experiences growing up. Sometimes we bring these negatives into marriage so it’s pretty unfair to blame all the problems with her marriage on her husband. Sometimes because of your negative experiences you marry someone who fits with your negative. She definitely saw warning signs when she got married to her hubby so she also didn’t make smart choices herself. I always say it takes two to tango in a relationship. Atimes you become Co-dependant in a relationship and can’t understand you are in a bad situation. Marriage is always work for all involved.

[@mariamjibrin7260]

just unsubscribe. why show us half the interviews

[@chiomaakindoyin1418]

Papi j should be interviewed as well. You got pregnant for a small boy of 23 who didn't know his left from his right at such a young age. He went against his parents who were pastors, the church and all just to be with you. Even though it was tearing his family apart that their first son, a general overseer's child, from a christian home, was getting married to you, a lady who was more than a decade older than him and a moslem. All the signs were there but you both insisted and Papa even threatened. I shake my head. You a dance star married a boy who didn't have a steady means of income. I no fit talk the matter finish abeg. It is wrong for you to now come and be claiming victim here. Don't you know how it affected his father's ministry? It has always been about your own happiness. You married him for your happiness and divorced him for your happiness. Clap for yoursef

[@nanfwangdabiring1520]

They will come down heavy on you for this expository. A generation that wants everything to work without evaluation Na only God fit save us kawai.

[@ayanfeoluwa4461]

Yes this are critical issues too, the boy I believe had his own struggles too but I don't think she heaped the blame on him. She acknowledged her background as a major cause of problem in her marriage.

[@ezenwadarlington8509]

Modern wife , you guys have not seen anything yet. You don't know that marriage is not for you

[@PotleeRoy]

You are damn toxic. Abeg do better with your mind o. May light enter your soul.

[@onikehinde8930]

You are toxic please. So you want to go back to the village, please do. Make sure you leave all civilization and go back to the olden days. Make sure your kids don't go to school, suffer on the farm and allow your daughters to be beaten by their husbands.

[@ezeudujiemeka1895]

The world keeps changing everyday!!! You can't expect a baby born in 2022 to behave like a baby born in the 60s. There will be so much difference. Marriage of our grandparents are not same of today. The world is moving and whether you choose to move with it or not, it will keep moving.

[@allthingsyolanda7731]

Like what you just typed make sense to you.? It takes a man and a woman to make marriage work or do the wives marry themselves 🤔😏 Let all do well be it a man or woman to be intentional and come together as one to make marriage work when you're in it. Women are not supposed to do or put in efforts alone...

[@ezenwadarlington8509]

@@allthingsyolanda7731 if it like let it be 41st marriage principles will still be the same. I just laugh when guys look at bobs and bot or figure 8 as beautiful and girls look at tall dark and handsome rich or 6 part as fin guy. You think marriage is all about pleasing your self. You better continue with your boyfriend and girl friend relationship. and stop acting guilty