wizard slander

More wizardposting! The various magicians of the Shadow Wizard Money Gang aren't above shooting magic missiles at each other.
Music used:
Witch
Runescape - Spooky
• Old RuneScape Soundtra...
Wizard
Runescape - Magic Dance
• Magic Dance - RuneScap...
Sorcerer
Dark Souls 2 - Mytha the Baneful Queen
• Video
Warlock
Battle Brothers - Bandit Track
• Battle Brothers OST - ...
Alchemist
Harry Potter - The Library
• Harry Potter and the C...
Druid
Werewolf: The Apocalypse - Earthblood - The Forest Cearn
• The Forest Caern - Wer...
Necromancer
Grailknights - March of the Skeletons
• March of the Skeletons
Cleric
Rhapsody of Fire - Heroes of the Waterfalls' Kingdom
• Danza Di Fuoco E Ghiaccio
Diviner
Civilization 6 - Greek Theme
• Civ 6 Greek Pericles&G...
Shaman
Medieval 2 Total War - Americas Main Menu Music
• Medieval Total War 2 A...
Lich
Vampyr - The Thirst
• The Thirst
Paladin
World of Warcraft - Sanctum of Light
• Sanctum of Light - Mus...
Battlemage
Hellblade - The Bridge
• David García, Andy LaP...
Healer
Banner Saga - We Will Not Be Forgotten
• We Will Not Be Forgotten
#shadowwizardmoneygang #historymemes #fantasy

[@booradley1138]

Druids will wild shape into a nine foot tall grizzly bear, tear a man in half and say, "Nature is so much more peaceful than civilization."

[@generalbolivar9736]

Artificers will power an automaton from the agonized soul of an elemental, insert bread in it and say , "Ah, now my breakfast toast will be ready on time."

[@concerningindividual629]

Cult leaders will summon ancient evils that immediately betray them and then plan to flood the earth for their new domain and say, "No, how could this of happened?!?!"

[@alexs1954]

Depends what you mean by “tear a man in half”

[@willfinck1267]

@@concerningindividual629Clerics will see you negotiate a reasonable deal with a entity of unimaginable power and say "No! He has unleashed untold death and destruction! He must be stopped!"

[@engrinis6344]

illusionists will have their tower dispelled in an instant and say, "i am the master of reality" arcanists will spend 8 days drawing magic circles to repair a mug and say, "immense powers come with great knowledge" elementalists will drink 18 alchemist made potions to restore their mana and say ,"the elements granted me power"

[@Shadest]

Bards will say "I only wish to spread joy through song!" and then insult a man so hard he dies.

[@kirtil5177]

Bards will cave in the skull of a flanking rapscallion with their steel-tipped lute and say "I'll spread harmony upon the lands with my art!"

[@Vodka6329]

Bard will say "I only wish to spread joy through song!" and the guards will say "That manwhore infected the whole village!"

[@henryhere]

So how did you discover your magical abilities? "Well I was just makin fun of a goblin one day and he just like, died. It was the weirdest crap ever"

[@kuroikarasu3315]

I cast vicious mockery.

[@noblemoore238]

Bards will accept a quest to slay the dragon and come back a father of 50 and 3 of them are the dragons

[@thekinginyellowmessiahofha6308]

Knights will carve runes of warding into their armor and have mages enchant their blades and say “magic is for the pusillanimous and sickly”,

[@kaminsod4077]

Hypocrisy is an essential trait of knighthood after all.

[@beastwarsFTW]

Elemental Mages will fail to cast spells because some guy keeps slapping them in the face and say "Fear My mastery of fire."

[@DF12612]

well, you aren't wrong, it's hard to combine Christian love and forgiveness with that lance going ballistic on enemy head @@kaminsod4077

[@aneffortlesssmile]

Thanks to you for enriching my vocabulary.

[@indrickboreale7381]

Runes and enchants can't miscast

[@TLhikan]

Monks will see you ride into battle equipped with masterly crafted armor and blade and say “He has not mastered the discipline of the body”.

[@megatennepster3833]

Fighters will attack with the same swing 5 times in a row and say "my opponent was no match for my tactical battle prowess!"

[@aymanayad7230]

​@@megatennepster3833the monk is yet to understand that being in position to attack is already victory

[@davidmingle5910]

​@@megatennepster3833to be fair if your opponent fails to block the same strike 5 times, that's just a skill issue

[@AstraIVagabond]

Fighters will see you dash across the battlefield and disable their opponent with your own life force, and say, “This hermit knows not what it takes to win a war.”

[@janefkrbtt]

this one is actually my favorite

[@sovietpotato4540]

Magic users will see you tear in half the servants of the dark gods with your two-handed greatsword and say "he can't cast a simple cantrip"

[@ShadowWizard5757]

Warriors will see you burn a regiment away with the flick of your wrists and say "he cannot lift a blade."

[@Liam-lx8xb]

Giants will watch an adventurer fell a dragon with nothing but a sword and a shield and say " I'm gonna eat that guy"

[@richardtimothihimbawan69]

​@@Liam-lx8xbadventurers will watch as you throw a rock so fast it shattered the sound barried and say "fool don't know how to swing a sword"

[@toastie8173]

Cyclops will throw stones at an immobile castle, still miss by like 400 paces, and then say "Its harder with only 1 eye you know"

[@Liam-lx8xb]

@@richardtimothihimbawan69 Dwarfs will conquer countless other kingdoms is search of gold and then be like "Ogres are a buncha greedy bastards"

[@tarkatantapir7287]

Vampire counts will watch as you flechette their undead armies with a shower of molten steel and remark "He studies the lore of metal because he can't afford any."

[@tau-5794]

Dwarf-things will look-watch at a warpstone rocket raze-blast their mine-hold to rubble and say-whine "The rats have bad-unreliable craftsmanship next to our superior-better artifice, yes-yes"

[@Freekymoho]

​@@tau-5794skaven filth will see a noble dawi hold withstand a thousand sieges and say "they waste time-time cutting stone, mud and manure are faster yes yes"

[@alfasolmega4458]

​@@FreekymohoGet-Acquire the manure inside the Skavenslaves yes-yes, extra meat-material for the wall-barricade yes-yes.

[@christianbroadbent7489]

@@tau-5794 Skaven will assault the same Dwarfen outpost that killed 8 generations of his family line and say "Pathetic-sad craftsmenship compared to the glorious-great Underempire!"

[@fetherfulbiped]

Lizardmen will raze your settlement to the ground and eat your children alive, and then claim that "It's all according to the Great Plan"

[@Nikkidafox]

Paladins will say. "I bring peace to the less fortunate!" while beating to death a homeless man for stealing a loaf of bread.

[@sapateirovalentin348]

The famed "awful good" paladins

[@nala7829]

A reminder for paladins: Robin Hood could be lawful good, but Javert certainly isn't.

[@Nikkidafox]

@@nala7829 Robin Hood most certainly was not lawful good. He's an epitome of chaotic good. Literally breaking the law to help others.

[@tetrasimplex3236]

Lawful good ain't about The government's law. It's only about having a strict set of rules for yourself. (Some of which could mean following the law)

[@tristanband4003]

@@tetrasimplex3236 In practice it typically does mean following the laws.

[@ricardohumildebrabo]

Rogues will see you master light magic and say "heheh, too scared of the dark?".

[@ElishaFollet]

Yes, yes I am, .proceeds to flash bang the rogue.

[@beastwarsFTW]

Battle Priest kill every conscripted troop on their way to the evil overlord and say "Thall shall not kill."

[@briishcabbage568]

​@@ElishaFolletAyo?

[@salj.5459]

@@briishcabbage568How is that "ayo"?

[@briishcabbage568]

@@salj.5459 Probably just saw the "flash" and "bang" seperately

[@phoenix_waffles2122]

Pyromancers will see you bend thunder and lightning to your will and say “he has not the patience to tame Fire!”

[@balsamon69]

Clerics will see you one shot a boss with Crystal Homing Soulmass + Crown of Dusk and say + Bellowing Dragoncrest Ring and say "Get a load of this filthy casual"

[@jof1391]

I bet a bunch of angry pyromancers are typing away with their burned hands about how normal magic is for the weak willed.

[@beanboi8838]

​@@jof1391Aren't pyromancers immune to their own flames?

[@katier9725]

Lightning Mages will see you clean out an entire room of enemies with one fireball and say "Chain lightning would have caused less collatoral damage."

[@newjerseyyouth4853]

Occultists will let themselves be transformed into horrific monstrosities and say “the witch hunters fear my enlightenment”

[@ElusiveMysteryMan]

Monk: Knights will see you leap through the air and punch a hole through a brigand's chest and say, "He lacks the discipline for swordplay."

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

Monks will spend ten days meditating on a rock just because they had an internal debate on what to buy at the market and say, "The conflict has been resolved. I do not want anything."

[@jainittai5104]

​@@lordpumpkinhead265dead ass😂

[@celldh0825]

Monks will see you smite a great Dragon with a great sword of steel and say “He lacks to mental fortitude for hand to hand combat”

[@TheHangedMan]

Healers will quote their oath to help every being in need, save an orc chieftain from bleeding out and then when their raidering band returns say "Why can't the soldiers protect the village?!"

[@CrizzyEyes]

"Bitch you knew I was an orc."

[@red_ruby4881]

Inquisitors will brutality mutilate a child who knows a single card trick and say "Your foul sorcery is no more!"

[@thecaelspice]

Heretics will Forsake the word of the Almighty Lord above and be shocked when he forsakes them.

[@LumaSloth]

​@@thecaelspice cringe

[@spectralanomaly1683]

@red_ruby4881 chirstians will be like "our Lord is Almighty and merciful and all loving" and be quiet when their house gets swept away by a flash flood or when the 8 year old dies of stage 4 cancer or when the infant of a perfectly healthy couple is born without arms or legs and dies 4 minutes later due to a malformed heart

[@alcotismo]

Alchemists will give you healing potions that provide just 10hp and say "Be wary, for these are my strongest potions!"

[@platinumchromee3191]

"Laughs in 200 hp potions"

[@The.Orange.Wizard]

His strongest potions are too strong for you, traveller.

[@TheAzureGhost]

These potions of mine are so powerfull , they can bring the dead back to life! The warrior drinks a whole batch while gravely injured and dies shortly after. Well, they have no effect on the living....

[@victorvirgili4447]

@@TheAzureGhost”The drink once killed a man with its taste then revived him with its healing properties”

[@TheAzureGhost]

@@victorvirgili4447 that drink sounds familiar. I think it's called students coffee.

[@WilliamAppel3]

Alchemist's potions are simply too strong for you. Simple as

[@giankjojo]

and therefore you CANNOT have them💪👺👎

[@lightpro7]

Potion seller im telling you I need your strongest potions

[@goofgoobernicus]

You're a rascal, you're a rascal with no respect for knights. No respect for anything... except your potions!!!

[@JonathanYip]

In a perfect world, men like the potion seller would not exist... ...but this is not a perfect world.

[@kneegoblin4352]

You cannot handle my strongest potion

[@arkaleosskavalt498]

To be fair they probably just called the diviner a conspiracy theorist when he tried to warn them the first 10 times

[@tristanband4003]

And a nerd/beta/soyjack

[@mechadeka]

And after the disaster they say that he caused it to happen.

[@violentbeetle2441]

Wizards will see you program a self-aware artificial superintelligence and say "He is violating the genre conventions" Scientists will see you peer through the veil of creation and uncover the mysteries of the cosmos and ask "Is this research peer-reviewed?"

[@ilikemitchhedberg]

oh hell naw

[@alix6xgorg839]

Genre convention LMAO

[@xCorvus7x]

the second one takes the cake, lmao

[@yapflipthegrunt4687]

Pathfinder MFs:

[@ilikemitchhedberg]

@@alix6xgorg839 I never been to a Genre Convention... I do, how've, have two tickets to Saw Con 😏

[@wisdomaxolotl2766]

Clerics will abliterate a man with the force of a thousand suns, and then complain about being a support class.

[@gabrielbarbosa7882]

This one hits home.

[@tristanband4003]

Ain't enough for them to have the power to Salute the Sun.

[@shem7146]

Truly a dark souls moment

[@Mahlak_Mriuani_Anatman]

Damn, that cleruc pulled a cooler

[@Rat_64]

Adventurers will collect hundreds of healing potions while never drinking one and say “if only I had more health”

[@swedneck]

Adventurers will say "i can't use this artefact of acid slime protection, what if i need it later?!", while they are being dissolved by the only acid slime on this side of the continent

[@RedBoko2017]

@@swedneck but what if?

[@st.haborym]

Too real

[@ketaminepoptarts]

@@swedneck but what if there's secretly two on this side of the continent?

[@mottmatt7844]

Never has "who invited this kid?" received a better timing.

[@josephmoffatt4696]

Paladin: “No, I mean my shield is called ‘faith’. Not that literal faith faith is my shield! How would complete trust in something protect me from weapons?!”

[@hadibendakji3858]

I'd imagine Sir Becket(The Weekly Roll) saying that.

[@josephmoffatt4696]

@@hadibendakji3858I love that comic!

[@beastwarsFTW]

Considering shields have holy symbols on them that let you cast protection spells its also "My shield is my faith."

[@TheArQu]

how do you think he got this shield? By faith

[@YataTheFifteenth]

"You think the Gods would actively protect you from a battleaxe to the chest? And I thought I was devout."

[@captaintitus4637]

As a thousand sons enjoyer I'm pretty miffed at this magic slander

[@Serpentine8184]

^

[@user-sj9gz7pr3l]

Thousand sons will watch you rip a withered old corpse out of his decaying metal box and say "Rylanor deserves better than you Fulgrim. He deserves better than all of us!"

[@elgenerico5453]

Space Wolves will see you attempt a desperate, flawed attempt to save your father at the expense of his personal project, then say "That's it! You're all dead, especially your spines!"

[@tau-5794]

Thousand Sons will see you burn their books full of daemon sorcery and cry "The savages of Fenris destroy our great tomes of wisdom for no reason!"

[@magnusthered3692]

😢😂😂😂😂😂😢

[@thegarbageman8713]

Barbarians will see you cast a level 6 spell and say: "UGG MAGIC MAN HAVE NO STRENGTH POINTS"

[@tristanband4003]

More like "MAGIC MAN'S FUNNY WORDS MAKE HEAD HURT"

[@joshuafischer684]

Esoterists will see a Novice cast Fireball and say "Alas! He hath not the discipline to study the Ten Thousand Scrolls of Wisdom!"

[@Verathuum]

Paladins will witness you cast fireball, cooking them in their own armor and declare “your flimsy robes will be your downfall”

[@georgesears934]

Rogues will walk up to a man in broad daylight and stab him so hard he explodes like a blood balloon, and say "The shadows are my ally!" Fighters will strike you 50 times without giving you a single chance to fight back, and say "A most honorable duel!"

[@a.c.1515]

Bards will toss their instrument at your head and say "My cunning is inescapable"

[@guest-1564]

Monks will drunkenly piledrive a man down a flight of stairs and say, "My ancestors smile upon such an honorable display!"

[@judeblack4360]

@@guest-1564 I mean, if my great-grandson did that to someone, I'd have a good ghost chuckle.

[@zoro115-s6b]

Wizards will lose a fair duel to an opponent with superior martial skill and say: "He hath given me no chance to striketh back!"

[@BriarDougherty-jz4ry]

LOL that rogue one is good, had to stop myself from laughing because i'm in school.

[@emmetcoyne6436]

Wizard nerds will see you use the raw power of Wild Magic and say "THAT BARBARIAN IS GOING TO EXPLODE, RUN!!!"

[@hesperosshamshael2873]

And 100% rightly so

[@theuncalledfor]

And moments later, that barbarian will explode, and they'll be glad they ran.

[@sapateirovalentin348]

YOU FOOL!!THE EXPLOSION WAS A CALCULATED RISK!! Unfortunately,grug bad at math.

[@theuncalledfor]

@@sapateirovalentin348 Wait, are you a literal Barbarian, as in the character class? How did you manage to explode? Wild Magic Barbarian doesn't _have_ that side effect!

[@sapateirovalentin348]

@@theuncalledfor a wild magic barbarian on a mix of dubious strength potion and cheap ale *does* have this sort of effect. Though personally i think its the ale,it really tasted like goblin piss

[@molliedemayo-td1nq]

Mages will go and say "Armors and steel swords are overused" and then cast the same fireball spell on you 30 times on the span of 5 turns.

[@gravitygames4495]

Hunters will set a trap for a wayward beast and say "Ah! The thrill of the hunt is one of great splendor!" Nobles will have dinner served to them on a golden plate and say "I earned this meal thanks to none other than my hapless labor!"

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

Peasants will look at your thoroughbred horses and say, "Hath he not afford a Carriage?"

[@lightningkitten]

Dragons will see you barter and proclaim, "he hasn't the wisdom to hoard!"

[@Dogmelter42]

This is why you should never trust healers.

[@platinumchromee3191]

Unless it is MMO type of healer

[@brandonvelde5774]

Unless they're combat medics, protect those guys with your lives.

[@electroeel148]

@@platinumchromee3191 Especially, if it's a MMO Healer "I'm not out of mana, I just don't like you."

[@baitthewhoosh5739]

Especially if they are German and removed a man skeleton before

[@most_sane_piano_enthusiast]

@@baitthewhoosh5739 W TF2 reference

[@sentientbottlecap]

Soothsayers will predict the future to the parents of a troubled child only for him to find out and commit genocide on a nearby village and say “How did this happen?”

[@MR.LMR1996]

I understood that reference.

[@bluephoenix7565]

"But what happened next no one could have foreseen!" *ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT*

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

If you continue to tread your current path, you will find yourself Reading this sentence

[@ladvargleinad7566]

A surprise to be sure. But a welcome one.

[@Kina13-4]

Monks will see you cry out in sorrow after a tragedy and say "he has strayed from the path of stoic enlightenment!"

[@thecaelspice]

Clerics will see you master the body and mind to reach a higher state of being and be like "He hath no Diety! Truly he is a fool"

[@g.b.1532]

Evil Overlords will hear the screams of their dying victims and say, "They know not what is truly at stake!"

[@DeusExAngelo]

I have been playing too much TTRPG's because the Sorcerer making a pact with the Devil and not the Warlock threw me off.

[@DreadAnon]

sounds like something you'd need a tome to consult 🤨📸

[@DeusExAngelo]

@@DreadAnon or else what? You'll throw the book at me? Please don't, they are very heavy and I have low AC.

[@Mordecrox]

​@@DeusExAngeloTHAT'S IT THAT'S GOING IN THE BOOK

[@LordVader1094]

Man's clearly only played D&D 5E lol

[@piotrwisniewski70]

​​@@Mordecroxis there something that didn't went to book?

[@Spyrocrab]

Witches will see a mystic seclude himself to contemplate the mysteries of the cosmos, and say “He has not the charisma to find a maiden.”

[@konnosx1213]

Mystics will see a Witch having a wholesome healthy relationship and say "She is a slave to carnal lust and the pleasures of the material plane!"

[@boodle399]

Most of these feel like memes but the diviner one feels like a legitmately harsh jab at diviners. Like yeah you saw it coming and did nothing, thanks for being a gorlified presonification of hindsight

[@sapateirovalentin348]

Diviner will predict a great plague and let it ravage the land as it unfold and say "pardon me,but it is foolish endeavor to interfere with fate"

[@lawfulgoodnun1646]

Most of the time people just don't believe them 😢

[@auraguard0212]

Diviner in 3.5e: _laughs in +40% chance to dodge the calamity_

[@scorchercast8366]

⁠@@lawfulgoodnun1646maybe if they gave exact dates, times, locations or details instead of spouting cryptic nonsense vague enough to be retroactively applied to anything id take them seriously “There shall be an great flood” When? Where? How? Will a damn burst and flood a land locked town? Will a tidal wave destroy a coastal city? Will it be localized to one city or multiple? Will it be a quick event or will it be from a typhoon that leaves low labs flooded for months? Is it man made or a natural event we can stop? There will be a flood somewhere at some point, somewhere. That’s not some foretelling of the future, that’s inevitability due to how nature and human incompetence/malice works.

[@xenird]

​@@scorchercast8366tidal wave?

[@natalie6811]

Rangers will see you invent weaponry never before seen and say “He knows not how to use a bow!”

[@CrizzyEyes]

Artificers will lose control of their adamantium golem, thus dooming an entire civilization, because they left a loophole in its programming and say "Eh, there's always next time."

[@beastwarsFTW]

Artificers will fire a gun inaccurately and then take ten minutes to reload and then say "My weapons are better."

[@sapateirovalentin348]

​​​@@beastwarsFTWartificiers will say "black powder is the future of war!" Before promptly losing their arm as a sorcerer cast heat metal on their weapons making it explode.

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

@@sapateirovalentin348 Sorcerers will see you develop an explosive that can wipe out an entire island then say, "He does not know the power of molten metal."

[@comet.x]

wizards will see an artificer's creation that bends the rules of reality over it's knee with complex enchantments and claim 'he has not the intellect for spells'

[@beywheelzhater8930]

Adventurers will rant about how they should be paid handsomely for their service and yet still go to the blacksmiths demanding weapons and saying “it is for the greater good of the land!” Shopkeeps will see you slam down Vorak’s +7 Blade of World’s End and say “best I can do is 32 gold”

[@mccabestevenson]

Fairy godmothers will bend the fabric of reality itself to wed their goddaughter and say “ ahh ‘twas true love all along”

[@saturniidspectre]

Fighters will see you harness your deep undying rage as pure destructive power as you cleave your foes in twain with your axe and say "He is reckless and his stance is less than ordeal!"

[@MajinOthinus]

Summoners will have their army of beasts tear you apart and boast, "No man is a match for me in personal combat"

[@TheKingDain]

"Guardsmen will see the psyker shatter the minds of an entire enemy battalion and say 'Hah, he cannot shoot a lasgun!"

[@konnosx1213]

"Psyckers will see the Guard standing fearless against an advancing Chaos Titan and say "They don't know the true terrors of Chaos like I do"

[@Drana3308]

Bards will see you jump into a horde of adversaries fighting them off and saving the kingdom and say “Ahh but your name is really hard to pronounce”

[@francise8698]

Barbarian will drink all night instead and sleep long instead of rising early to train then say "knights are but pampered babies"

[@SignedWithBlood]

Excuse me, I don't pluck childrens' eyes. They need to be scooped out. Everyone knows that.

[@yaronakrayis7291]

Yeah, plucking them could squeeze out the essential juices

[@SignedWithBlood]

@@yaronakrayis7291 Exactly!

[@Drekromancer]

Name checks out.

[@SignedWithBlood]

@@Drekromancer I was an angsty teen :p

[@tristanband4003]

@@SignedWithBlood Was?

[@Glace1221]

Barbarians will see a fighter tactfully and strategically defeat three men by shooting two of them from afar and using swordsmanship to defeat the last one and say, "HE WEAK."

[@mofumyon]

Fighters will watch you cleave an aspidochelon in twain and say "So uncivilized..."

[@nekomataumbreon]

It's even funnier when the diviner did indeed warn people but they just didn't listen and called them paranoid

[@Steir12]

Barbarians will watch you summon a meteor shower to vanquish an entire army and say "Meh i bet i could do it too if i could read".

[@konnosx1213]

Mages will see you harness your ferocity to call the spirits of your legendary forefathers to your aid in the midst of battle and say "He ain't but a simpleminded brute"

[@boid9761]

Who voiced the witch? That voice is just way more potent than any potion they brew

[@Dr.Livingdark]

You are down grievous

[@MouldMadeMind]

Obviously dreadanon

[@Voshchronos]

@@Dr.Livingdark lmao

[@Kalder44]

Mages will see you outmaneuver your foes and use the environment in your favor and say "HAH! A simple fireball is beyond his intellect!" Warriors will see you turn entire groups of foes to ash and say "He lacks the strength to lift a simple 50KG war-hammer"

[@michaelsmith8028]

Woah! Dreadanon actually knows a female voice actor!

[@aslightlysanescientist3874]

Peasents will see you not perform back breaking work and say "Tis a lazy bastard he is!"

[@thecaelspice]

Lords will Force you to Toil in the Fields for them and be like "The Peasantry are so Dumb and Basic"

[@mitchellenderson7194]

Artificers will see you wield the ancient magical weapon you found in a dungeon and say “Y’know, I could make that in my sleep”.

[@thecaelspice]

Knights will see you create the most Advanced and powerful weapon of the Age, capable of obliterating entire armies and be like "That Things Just some Gimmick, A good spear's all you need"

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

@@thecaelspice Knights are Fudds now? Damn it.

[@EvilEye501]

"Heheheh, and none of you can afford a steed!" -Goblin.

[@maninhu9837]

As a warlock I have to say, I don't consult tomes, I summon the arms and limbs of an emissary from beyond the cosmos

[@dylanedwards7548]

My favorite is the lich and Paladin discourse It’s so petty and feels like they must have done this shtick hundreds of times

[@red_ruby4881]

Occultists will turn into a mass of tentacles, teeth and eyes, cover themselves in mantles and claim "The Abyss obeys my command!"

[@blackdragon5274]

Archers will stealth headshot you from 50 meters away for bonus damage and declare "No foe can match me in single combat!"

[@Sercer25]

LOV' ME STAFF N' TOMES 'ATE PLATE AND LEATHER WEARERS (NOT CLASSIST, JUS' DON' LIKE EM) SIMPLE AS

[@unknownentityenthusiast6765]

Bards will turn a man’s blade upon his allies and himself with a flick of their wrist and a half-remembered lyric, and say “My magic is the most elegant, and soohisticated in the realms!”

[@vpaul4374]

Alchemists will transmute lead into gold and still sell you potions for double the price

[@thecaelspice]

Elementalists will spend 20 Minutes Casting a Single Fireball to kill 4 Goblins and Be like "My Magical Might is Unmatched"

[@averyshinyrock9989]

The voice acting is outstanding

[@molliedemayo-td1nq]

Paladins will go and see Barbarians piercing through a man's chest with a single punch and say "They are too savage to use something other than their fists"

[@dud3655]

Healer's boutta learn there is such a thing as a man that can't be saved, after having their heart scooped out of their body from behind of course.

[@toricon8070]

his deeds indicate that his heart has rotted from within. I suggest a full removal.

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

Healers will see you turn a man into chunky soup and say, "Do not worry, I will make you better again."

[@starkillersneed]

Arcane Tricksters will study the ancient and revered art of the Arcane just so they can pickpocket like a bunch of street urchins

[@CrizzyEyes]

If by that you mean "sneak attack scorching ray" then yes

[@tristanband4003]

Pick pocketing a bunch of people who are already piss poor? Dick move, Tricksters.

[@generalbolivar9736]

The last one legit happened in one of my old group's DnD 3.5 games. BBEG literally at death's door, our paladin is about to roll to attack on a +5 Smite with his Holy Avenger, but our cleric says word for word 'If you kill him, you'll be better the monster than he was! You'll forsake the code of your oath to forgive those that did you wrong!'. Paladin rolled a nat 20, then proceeded to beat the cleric to death, then brought the cleric back to life and told them 'If you wanted a demonstration of what I would have done to him if he truly was irredeemable, then you just got it.' The cleric then rage quit and left our group.

[@jaxonzuelke2578]

*meanwhile my healer charachters* "You fucker have ignored the rules of war multiple times, now tell me. How painfully do you want to die?" While drawing a scalpel

[@galvendorondo]

I would be laughing my ass off why would someone rage quit over that

[@ElishaFollet]

Lol that loser must have been watching to many childrens cartoons

[@yochaiwyss3843]

Based Paladin

[@CrizzyEyes]

@@galvendorondo people like to be drama queens at the table, it's fucking tedious

[@LecherousLizard]

1:51 Plot twist: The scutum was called "Faith".

[@GriffinAckiss]

Rangers will see you defeat an attacking pack of wolves and say "he has not the kindness to tame them"

[@generalbutterscotch4887]

Other slander memes will have nothing but simple text accompanied by a trendy song, forcing you to watch with undivided attention when you could be multitasking literally anything else.

[@LeMargot]

“Knights will see you cleave a demonic beast in half with your barehands and say “HE CANT AFFORD A BLADE!””

[@inductivegrunt94]

And this is why I stick with the Dwarfs. No need for magic when we got beards.

[@KrimzonFlygon1]

(Distant ‘HASHUT-HASHUT-HASHUT!’)

[@Verdessa1273]

yeah but beards are ugly

[@telurbiru1711]

​@@Verdessa1273THAT'S IT THAT'S GOING IN THE BOOKS

[@Verdessa1273]

@@telurbiru1711 perhaps the scholar of the first drip will chance across the book in a thousand years and say, 'golly gee whiz, she's right!'

[@Delmworks]

....Dwarves will stick 30 separate runes of sharpness into a butterknife and say "No need for magic when we got beards!"

[@dev4159]

Why does medieval times and fantasy fits so well ?

[@foppypoof5195]

Fantasy works well with any time period

[@Blue14113]

I mean, funny fantasy tropes aside, the one about diviners is the one that's literally true. It's only after the thousands of deaths do they say," See?! We warned you. We saw this coming. See how awesome our powers are?". Disgusting.

[@Xahnel]

The real reason seers and diviners are eventually run out of towns: they never stop saying "I told you so"

[@sapateirovalentin348]

BuT It WaS fAte,THis Is HoW ThINgs wEre MEant tO Be!!🤓

[@platinumchromee3191]

​@@sapateirovalentin348then there is a nameless prisoner breaking reality in half for their own amusement.

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

"We foresaw the coming plague centuries ahead in advance." "WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN US?" "It is best not to defy fate and alter the course of history."

[@sapateirovalentin348]

@@platinumchromee3191 "how high can i fly with this here bucket?"

[@tatzooism]

Necromancers wondering why disease is spreading into towns he visits with his minions. My fellow practicioner in the dark arts, you were the one who raised the ghouls with plague.

[@ashmatrix7088]

Dwarves really will sit in their mountains building up gold and weapons in a stockpile for hundreds of years at a time and then accuse the elves of being isolationists.

[@Jmatts21]

The “oh hell naw” for the healer really brought it all together

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

Berserkers will run at the enemy screaming, promptly die, get revived after the fight, and go, "We did it team!"

[@0Cazador]

Engineers will watch a majestic dragon soaring through the sky and say "that won't fly, it's mass/wing ratio is all wrong." Dragons will witness an army get annihilated by an AC 130 and proclaim "I am an Apex Predator"

[@igku8339]

Dear commentators, wizard posting is much more fun by refering to whrimstical notions of magic in culture rather than making D&D references.

[@PlagueTheSmol]

Both is good

[@ooccttoo]

Warriors will see you kill a dragon in just a few seconds with nothing but a rusty dagger and a carefully-planned ambush and say "he hath not the courage to fight in the light of day."

[@Agent_Frank_Horrigan]

Heros will see you have built a dungeon around your most precious belongings and say "we must confiscated these treasures for the greater good"

[@Drekromancer]

Bards will watch you decapitate a greater daemon and say, "Thou had not the grace to win his heart"

[@Spruehwuerstl]

Not sure if DND memes or Warhammer memes. Instructions unclear. Am of confused sah

[@orionthanathos8861]

Look like D&D for me.

[@ButFirstHeLitItOnFire]

There’s enough overlap to cover either really

[@Ultra_Knight2876]

Why not both

[@nala7829]

It's neither, it's folklore/fantasy.

[@niktri8312]

Why is the voice acting in this so amazing?

[@nightsong81]

Dwarves will see you seduce a comely maiden with a ballad to her beauty in an ancient Elvish dialect and say "He cannae grow a manly beard ta woo a proper lass." Knife-ears will see you chop down a forest in a fortnight with naught but Dwarven steel and cry "Noooo! The souls of my honored ancestors slumbered within the trees!"

[@deadlydingus1138]

Humans will gaze upon the most unsightly of abominations and say, “I shall ask for its hand in marriage!”

[@swedneck]

​@@deadlydingus1138 Humans will spot a great furred beast renowned for slaughtering entire villages and say, "awww look at the puppy!"

[@comet.x]

​@swedneck Humans will see the great destroyer of worlds, and think 'i really shouldn't stick my dick in there, HOWEVER'

[@Overlord99762]

"Past tense, knife ear, witness as I make a fine axe handle from this wood"

[@Flesh_Wizard]

Primordial spirits will see a woman and say "wtf is that"

[@deadlydingus1138]

Wizards will watch your arrow hit an insect without waking the bear it rests upon and say, “He hath not the intellect for spells.”

[@muntadar1655]

0:25 literally kingdom rush sorcerers

[@Immadeus]

Kings will spend all their riches on the finest cuts of meat and then decree, "New tax on wine trades to pay for the knights swords!"

[@PlagueTheSmol]

Both the video and the comments give great drawing ideas, thanks!

[@helix9445]

oh sure, when a cleric brings a sick child back from the dead it's a "miracle", but when i, a necromancer, resurrect an entire village which died from the plague to do my dark bidding-

[@termicrafteron2794]

That last one is actual slander. No Healer should be regarded as so, it is insulting to everything we stand for.

[@Drekromancer]

Bards will watch you decapitate a greater daemon and say, "He was to be my lover"

[@samueljose7715]

Knights will witness you lay waste to an entire city using magic and say "he hath not the strength to wield a sword"

[@TheCr0oked1]

Witch's be like "the warlocks just a friend don't be so insecure"

[@malicharton4403]

Barbarians will see me discombabulate their friend in a single touch and yell "HE IS TOO WEAK TO WEILD AN AXE"

[@thecaelspice]

Weezards'll see yew Punch That Stone Golem They spent 20 Minutes Summin'n into Rubble and Be Like "The Dumb Brute cannot possibly match my spellcraft"

[@briishcabbage568]

Clerics will see a warlock take a pact to save their village and proclaim "He commits heresy for material bonds!"

[@connorperrett9559]

The modern version is "Scientists will develop a bioweapon and say 'It helps us research cures'."

[@thepolishdestroyeroprpioru9164]

Artificers will make a wartitan the size of the great spires and proclaim "our craft is made for trading"

[@LoganProbablynot-ef1tw]

Sorcerers will use their heritage to take candy from a baby and cry out: “My sacred draconic bloodline is honored!” Hulking paladins will use a giant sword to cut down the unholy before healing 5 hit points with lay-on hands and say “My God decided your fate.” (I play both classes lmfao)