Women Are Speaking Up - Having Kids Is it Really Enjoyable

[@lucyross5478]

Parenthood is enjoyable... for dads. For women, it's a metric fuck-ton of uncompensated labor that family, culture and politicians will judge you for at every turn.

[@omowhanre]

Yes, the problems are systemic. Picking who you procreate with is 95% of how miserable or content you will be.

[@mjohnson1741]

Well said 👏 👌

[@sg5720]

@@omowhanreYES!!!💯- us as woman HAVE to choose wisely. I enjoy my kids and family, but that is because my husband is so helpful. I don’t have to ask for anything he just gets it’s done. If I did not get to doing something he gets it done. He makes sure I have alone time and able to relax. He cleans and cooks, takes the kids to school- and he works regular 40 to 60 hours a week outside the home as a director/manager. I work part time from home. I don’t have problems with my kids we have fun- but then again- my hubby brings structure to our life. We are a team in it all, so we lucky.😊

[@the8thchurch461]

Just make sure you do not let yourself go. Someone said that to keep a man, look as though you are going out to see another man. Meaning look beautiful and slim INDOORS! He won't go out with friends but stay in to ensure you stay in as well.

[@T1Oracle]

Then why does my wife want more kids?

[@Tiggity80]

As a 42 year old woman who is child free, I’d advise women to take their 20s for themselves. Get to know yourself and what you truly want out of your life before becoming a Mother. Personally, I think I assumed I’d be a Mother because that’s what’s expected of women, not because I wanted kids so badly. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten more honest with myself and I became comfortable admitting I don’t desire kids. With hindsight tho, I’d say if I did want kids, I think your 30s are a great time to do so

[@Childfree334]

Exactly. The more I traveled and got to know myself as a woman, I knew motherhood was not for me.

[@the8thchurch461]

Indeed. Yet society is hellbent on stealing our 20s when we are still babies and have zero self knowledge. Once you get buried like that, having babies in your 20s, you are a goner. Never to know who you really are. All you will ever be is a reptile hovering over reproduction and not much else. I don't believe you can even be a good mother at that age. In your 30s you bring so much to your family in terms of values, education and most of all, identity. You have something solid to pass on.

[@TEWMUCH]

I took the exact same approach. I am 29 now, and literally this past week, I'm like, hmm, I don't think I want them at all after keeping my bf's kids for 2 weeks.😅 and i also concluded i think ppl start having kids just cuz they thought they were supposed to. Not because they desired them internally. but I totally wanted to get myself to a stable place internally where I even know what I want because I wasn't sure for a long time. Either way, I still have time for my mind to change!

[@omowhanre]

For YOU. I pray for the day everyone can mind their own uterus’s.

[@Christianmorgan12]

@@melissasplitt158 Im NT saying this to b nasty bt how do u knw Ur gng to b the Last 1 to die? Ur aunt might live longer than u since lyf is NT a sequence.

[@BarbaraKibira]

People, just do you. Do not let anyone dictate how you choose to live your life.

[@comecorrect1]

Great advice Barbara!!!

[@heyalexiajanee]

Exactly, people are different. I planned to be child free then had a baby at 39 and I'm so grateful for the experience of being the mother to my son. However it is amazing, and horrible at times. You worry you didn't make the right decision when it comes to discipline, or those heart to heart talks, when you see your kid being excluded, or they act crazy. However, to be in my child's presence and see him enjoying life, man that's everything😊❤❤❤

[@vangu2918]

Yep!

[@goddessinfinity1]

If I had a genie bottle I would go back in time, remove my uterus at puberty, adopt a dog, get a lifetime girlfriend, and remain a virgin for my entire life. I am not saying I don't love my children. I am saying had someone told me what to expect I would have chosen myself instead of self sacrificing my sanity, my time, my life, my energy, my goals, and my dreams to be an slave to a man and his children that holds his last name that don't appreciate your sacrifice. There is no security in having children because most Americans just drop off their parents off to a nursing home to take care of them. There is no security in having a husband because eventually he will divorce you and cheat on you with someone younger. The only security you can have is having a plan for your life that serves you, saved money for retirement, and having the intelligence to not sacrifice yourself for anyone. Live your life for yourself only and please do not let these miserable people pretending to be happy with children convince you to have them so you can be trapped like they are.

[@Childfree334]

This truth is exactly why Disney makes billions of dollars telling little girls the exact opposite.

[@mizsevenoneeight685]

💯 I couldn’t fathom being given one life & then sacrificing it to be a mule in a thankless role 👎🏼

[@amark8786]

And that all happened with the man that you chose. Men and women are valuable different but equal.

[@goddessinfinity1]

@@amark8786 You can't be equal to your creator genius 🙄. It has nothing to do with the man that I chose. All men have the same flaws because they are a mutation from the original. There are a very small population of men that are worthy but they are in their feminine energy.

[@amark8786]

@@goddessinfinity1 wow that's deep rooted sadness

[@sparklyunicorn5431]

The people who have them in 20s to enjoy 40s are delusional 😂 kids nowadays don't grow up. They'll just add grandkids to the mix too 😅

[@gmylap7344]

😂😂😂

[@mjohnson1741]

Yes, record number of adult children living at home.

[@amark8786]

Yeaaah parents are very delusional lol if your kids are not out that is a reflection of you… And apparently they grown enough to have sex and you still kept your child and your grandchildren lol that’s your fault

[@nyb3894]

Better than being at parent at 50. Forget it I rather have retirement and enjoy the grandkids

[@sparklyunicorn5431]

@nyb3894 who is a parent at 50 lmao, you're tripping 🤣

[@KT_767]

I had my kids at 26 and 29 and I'm 43 now. I can honestly say and I'm only speaking for myself. My kids are the best thing to happen to me and my husband. I love watching them grow up. They are so kind and sweet. They've actually taught us a lot. It's the adult I'm around that's hard to deal with not my babies. I can also understand why women choose to not have kids and that's okay because it is a journey. But they are wonderful little beings. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids or wanting kids. Just make the right choice for you it's your life. Peace and love ladies ❤😊

[@KT_767]

@lindyt3942 I will never take my kids out of the equation. My husband and my kids have made my life better. Has it been challenging? Yes. When I didn't have kids or a husband, life was still a challenge. Yes,I'm very happy with my life. My boss just asked me, "How do you stay so calm in this chaos? She said every time I see you, you are always smiling, and you always look so good. I don't know. I have always been a happy person. I understand the women who don't want kids. It's not for everyone but for some people it's everything. It's okay not to want kids or want kids. It's your life. Just be a good person while living it.

[@Childfree334]

​@lindyt3942Your mother never wanted kids in the first place. She is one of millions of women who had kids because it was just expected. Just because you and your siblings turned out well doesn't negate her feelings. She wanted something else for her life but she couldn't have it because of societal dictates.

[@Childfree334]

NO. I do not believe having kids is enjoyable, which is why I decided to remain childfree. I have never met one parent, not even one, who has made me envious of their lives because they have kids. In fact, quite the opposite. They all look miserable and exhausted. Even the parents in line at Disneyland looked fed up and angry, and that is supposed to be the happiest place on Earth. What does that tell you? 😅

[@biancacrosbourne848]

We looked stressed but it is just the best stress ever

[@kiarawright5087]

Hunny strsmess is stress no such gmthibg aa good stress

[@ShaynieB]

This!!!! Kids are draining… mind, body, spirit, financially, all of that. I am childfree and getting my womb removed in another month.

[@Childfree334]

@biancacrosbourne848 Another thing I notice about parents is their unparalleled ability to lie to themselves. There is no such thing as good stress or happy stress. Stress is just stress, which leads to all kinds of health problems and early death. I don't know who you think you are fooling, but it is definitely not childfree people. We have eyes 👀 and we have ears 👂. The fact that you even consume childfree content tells me all I need to know.

[@omowhanre]

I wonder what percentage of them envy your “life.”

[@rachel1729]

The question shouldn't be whether it is enjoyable or not. It should be "Do you understand the amount of work and commitment that goes into raising kids?". Having kids is a stepping stone for a lot of people which is why, imo, so many kids grow up neglected and experience a lot of trauma. Im in my early 20s, and although I am doing very well for myself, I can still recognize my naiveté and immature habits. I want to raise well rounded adults and give them a good start in life. In order to do that I must experience life and learn as I mature. Having kids is a life long commitment, you don't just get to stop being a parent when your kid turns 18. So although kids are a wonderful blessing and bring so much love and light into the world, this is a matter of short sighted thinking vs. practicing discernment and critical thinking.

[@amazingperson326]

This 👌🏾

[@teoleno4019]

If anyone thinks that your kids will want to take care of you when you are old, think again. I have no relationship with my parents, and I'm not the only one.

[@PettyIsMyMiddleName]

All they have to do is visit a nursing home . That’s the REAL eye opener.

[@angelsweet9611]

This is why parents should take care of themselves and their health! No smoking, alcohol, drugs eat quality food, find time to exercise

[@amark8786]

That’s because these parents are very mean to their children and the weak response is well that’s what they experienced. Some of these parents were so traumatized they did the total opposite with their child and then didn’t teach them any structure. It’s called a sacrifice, these parents think that they are entitled just because you sacrificed. I’m sure they read the Bible lol and see what’s going on right now😬🤫

[@cleopatraworld5204]

Speak for your self don’t speak For other ppl I done witness many children taking care of their parent when they get older just cause you don’t do it don’t mean other ppl won’t my mother took care of her mother till she pass I also witness the child take care of their parent after they parent treated them like crap some ppl just forgive , move and brake the generational curse

[@biblethumper8088]

Exactly, it's such a bold face lie bc most of these seniors in nursing homes have children who put them there. Without money and a good relationship, it's just too much of a burden to take care of children or parents.

[@TiredButHardWorking]

Any ignorant person that has ever dictated what I should do, especially when their suggestions will cost me money from my wallet, I always ask, "Are you going to pay for it?" I've had a few idiots over the yrs ask when I was going to have babies. My response has always been to ask these types of questions - Are you paying for prenatal appts; childbirth expenses; postnatal medical appts? Will you be providing consistent financial support for the baby / babies including college tuition? If I die during childbirth, will you be paying for my funeral expenses"? Asking these types of questions usually scares nosy morons & they can't wait to get away from me.

[@DestinyUteh]

🤣🤣🤣

[@quirkyt_T]

I had twins at 21 yrs old then 20 yrs later I had a child at 41. In my twenties my body was stronger I could rip and run longer but I was broke, struggled and stressed more. I had fun with my kids but they saw my pain and stress. I was less patient and worried more. I enjoyed being a mom. In my 40's I'm financially secure, less stressed, more patient and not a lot bothers me. I have less energy and tire faster but I spend lots of quality time with my child minus the stress and struggle. There's never a good time, there's always sacrifice in one form or another. I have no regrets having my children plus I have 3 bonus kids. They all bring me joy. For those who don't want them, don't have them. It's definitely a sacrifice but with big rewards for your efforts.

[@msliberated3899]

What’s the big reward?

[@quirkyt_T]

@@msliberated3899 The reward is something for different people. For me it's the joy my kids bring me, watching them develop and seeing who they become and our unconditional bond of love. For others it might be something else. I love being a Mom.

[@thunderlion6909]

@@quirkyt_T That beautiful sorry if i spell it wrong

[@Childfree334]

Some women are born to be mothers, I'm just not one of them.

[@quirkyt_T]

@@thunderlion6909 ❤

[@HopeRele]

Most parents want a baby. Not a child /teen. Unless they can control them.

[@marshaytrue]

Yes, they only want babies not kids, preteen, teenagers or adult child 😢.

[@elsands9774]

Sadly this is a situation for some. They only want the baby part, not the child part

[@marieburroughs6640]

The single me says hard pass. I come and go as I please and I love it. ❤️

[@blaznphoenix8013]

48 yrs old and child free. Never wanted them. Even as a kid, I preferred animals over dolls.

[@baritunde]

Motherhood can really be fun. Kids are the most fun ppl in the world. They love to do stuff with you. Little things like riding bikes, baking cookies & smelling flowers at the grocery store are a thing for them. They always want to sing & dance. They never tire of having books read to them. They laugh so easily. I had my kids in my 30's. Also teacher of middle school. We have so many fun memories.

[@benatiyah]

Having children is enjoyable when you are READY! Parenting is a 24/7 non stop job. Don't have them if you are not ready for the full commitment. I waited until my mid 30s and I am happy I did. I was able to travel and work abroad freely and I needed that time to develop myself. I also had time to financially prepare for my children. I LOVE being a Wife and Mother bc I was ready. My Husband and I are fully involved and fully active parents. We had twins first with a single on the way. We both have all hands on deck with our babies and my Mother is a very involved Grandma. I do miss my friends and social life but this is just part of having young children.

[@Heyu7her3]

The resounding answer is NOPE. even the parents have so many disclaimers and caveats that it's just "no".

[@thegazetteyt]

People with children are conflating people not being able to be selfless by having kids to people, not wanting to be selfless. Those are two completely different things. Having the foresight to realize how much he would give up and choosing not to do that even though you could do, that is what people without children are talking about. Because let’s face it, a lot of mothers who didn’t make that decision for themselves, and have children are often overwhelmed by it to the point of wanting to give up. You can be child free and still like children! This idea that people who don’t want to have kids don’t like children is so disingenuous. Just like there are some parents who don’t like their kids, there can be child free people who don’t have kids who do not like kids but to conflate them all together is just is weird Then you get a lot of bitterness and resentment to women who decided not to have kids like that woman making her espresso in the video. I look at that is an envy, someone who sees someone who made the choice often do not have kids and then someone who had them and may resent the freedom that that other person has. I’m fortunate. I have a friend group of about six women some in relationships some not, some married, some not, and none of them have or want children. We are all professional, working women, all living our lives, and pretty happy for the most part. That’s all we can ever want to be and we chose to do that without having kids. So people who have kids go for it have fun, but so many who have kids look at people who don’t and all I can say is it’s an envy thing. Also, in America, what is the incentive to have kids? Education is terrible, safety is a concern everywhere, racism is everywhere, there is no social safety, net or social services for people, and the environment is crap, what is the benefit of bringing a child into that other than an emotional reaction from the parent? Like for real what are you bringing a kid into other than an environment where they are going to have to make it better than how you left it for them. That kind of sucks.

[@kia.203]

I agree. I don't hate kids, or dislike them....I'm just ok if I don't have them lol. I love kids, but I love giving them back to their parents even more 😂😂.

[@biblethumper8088]

Don't take it personal. Women who are condemning child free women are only doing it bc they are jealous that y'all have your freedom and success. So they are trying to make you second guess your decision so you can be stuck like them. I have children and my mission is to warn all child free women to stay that way. It's definitely a trap and is the quickest route to poverty. Save yourselves and don't look back.

[@levelupgoddess9289]

That’s a GREAT question. I’ve always heard “Your life is over once u have kids,” Or “Once u have kids u will never sleep again now will ur life be ur again.” Etc etc. Like what😳😳😳😳🧐🤨🤨WTF would I not want to sleep or not have my life. That sounds to me like ur discouraging me. And it worked cause I’m NOT having any. I LOVE my bed and my freedom. TF😂😂😂 I also never get women that have kids early. Like did u even get to know ur self after moving out of ur parents house/ dorm and learning to live alone and enjoy ur company? Like what’s the rush.🤨🤨🤨

[@ST-rj8iu]

Being a mom is a job no different from other jobs. Are we all meant to be lawyers? No. Same with Moms. I am not a Mom. That is it. No need to analyze more than that.....

[@demelzapenberthy9579]

If someone expresses that something is hard or they are struggling this doesnt neccesarily equate to regret. I love being a mother but any caring responsibilities, whether thats for a child, parent, partner, pet etc is hard because, if you care about them - it will take putting others needs in front if your own at times, particularly in the early days. I do respect those who recognise when it is not for them and take the decision to not have children. But its not all dirty nappies, tantrums and cleaning etc. Mine are teenagers now and I love seeing them evolve and grow into their own people but...not sure I could cope with going back to those early days again now!

[@kokikodevereaux4932]

It's rewarding and restrictive. Choose motherhood wisely because you will be stifled, and it may not stop once the children are adults. I worry for us, think for us, try to behave with all of us in mind. It's tiring and a huge responsibility. I wish that women weren't criticized for expressing the frustration. Once you create a family, you, and it will seem like only you, will be expected to put your family first. Note: liking being around other children is not the same as raising your own.

[@T1Oracle]

Kids are work, they are exhausting, the society we live in and our cultural values often make parenting a nightmare. This is especially true in the work environment, your boss doesn't care about your kids, they just want your soul. This is the single greatest stressor on parents in America. When you are black, that situation often becomes much worse. We often have less power and influence in our employment roles. On top of this, everyone needs help, but not everyone has access to help. It is impossible for two people to fully raise a child by themselves. Yet, children are also a reward. There is nothing in life that compares to seeing your child grow. There is nothing in life that compares to the bond in a good parent child relationship. There is nothing in life that compares to seeing the carefree joy in a child's eyes as they experience the simplest things. Regardless, you need a very healthy parental partnership to have a chance at enjoying raising your children. You will need supportive parent friends and family to survive the hard times of being a parent. You need to have positive outlook about all of the work of being parent to actually enjoy raising your children. Who you are, and how you were raised, are huge factors. Personally, I think that most people who actually want kids, shouldn't have children until age 25. For one, you don't have to rush having kids, take your time and get your life established first. Make sure you have a solid relationship and foundation at home first. Additionally, your brain isn't fully mature until 25. Up until then, you brain is still going through lots of changes as it settles on who you are really going to be as an adult. Unfortunately, women are put under all of this stress to make babies before 35. That idea is a lie. Women can have children at 50, there are women who had kids at 60. Yes, it gets harder as you age. However, if you are an older woman who still wants kids, there is something that can make it easier. Staying fit and healthy, and finding a younger man. Yes, the age of the man matters in the success of your efforts to get pregnant. It matters just as much as the age of the mom. If you are 45 married to a 55 year old man, you're not going to have kids. If you are 45 married to a 40 year old man, you still have a chance. If you are both 40, you are still good. You can have a healthy child. Take your time.

[@elsands9774]

Parenthood has its moments (good, bad and indifferent), just like any relationship. Yes parenthood is a relationship, a relationship like no other. I choose to have children. My choice was the right choice for me. I absolutely enjoy being a mom, even on the days that are HARD. I have no regrets, I made the right choice for myself. If you feel it is not a relationship (motherhood/children) you want, then don’t allow others to determine your choice.

[@ddrebrne3336]

Blessings and respect to mothers.

[@MarkieMcG.]

Probably THE WORST job to ever exist.

[@Trinity_SZN]

25 to 49 is the perfect age gape to have kids. You have to know yourself enough to understand your level of maturity in different aspects of your life. You need to know your personality pros and cons when parenting. You need to know which of characteristics you do and don’t want to show/teach your kids. It’s all a process. You have to give yourself grace and patience while being realistic and levelheaded as possible.

[@nowhre]

40s for a women can cause alot of potential health problems for child. Women are on a time clock

[@dianaa3336]

@@nowhremen too. They can’t even donate sperm after 35 because of the low quality!

[@comecorrect1]

I agree with this. Some women are healthier as they get older, more financially stable, great career, happier, everything starts to fall into place. I will have kids when I am ready not gonna be pressured by society.

[@sunsetanimator4187]

@@nowhre Mate, those problems can occur regardless of age, my mum had me and my brother at 26 and 28, still got ASD and anxiety and he got Aspergers, I suffer from sensory overload on a daily basis and thank goodness my parents didn’t get started so early, (my dad had prior experience with my half sister and the narcissistic egg donor), my dad had learned starting parenthood too early is dangerous, so he let my mum figure herself out and get themselves sorted before bringing other people into the mix. (Your comment may not have implied getting started early, but women can get pregnant and have kids until menopause which is late forties to late fifties depending on the genetics, even if u get pregnant early as healthily possible, your kids could still be born with significant bodily problems)

[@Childfree334]

My Aunt Nettie had a baby boy at 52. He was perfectly healthy. I personally would have aborted at that age, but she is a religious woman, so she had my cousin Frank. He is now a Master carpenter and takes very good care of his Mommy. She is in a prestigious retirement home and doing well for an 89 year old woman.

[@biancacrosbourne848]

Having kids is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life, but I’m glad I waited as financially it’s difficult, your life is not your own and a lot of planning needed just to go out with friends. But 35 I was very ready

[@illyannadeshields9835]

I would tell young ladies enjoy life as much as possible 20s to me is too young maybe late 20s but 30ish is proper. You've had your fun, finished schooling etc...not saying to have children period because it's a choice. It's hard work, time consuming, and can wear you down mentally and physically. Think damn hard before doing so be in a place where you can raise your child comfortably whether with father or not because no matter what the work will be on you. I waited till 37-39 to have my daughter's but I truly never wanted children. When I planned to I was prepared but you are never truly, it changes you and how you go about everything when having a child, wait as long as possible and never let women nor a man twist things making you feel inadequate for not having these little brats.😊

[@labellecongolaise]

It’s different for everyone. Children are all different. Some are easy to raise and some are not. Humans are interesting. Children are human. So, just be mentally prepared to raise them. I hear my first one at 28 and my second one at 31. Being a parent is a blessing. There are days when it’s easy and days when it’s not.

[@AIBot929]

I don't have nor want children however I know enough children and been around enough of them to know that wether or not kids are enjoyable is not a simple yes or no answer. There are great parts and there are crappy parts (literally and figuretively) It can depend on how you look at things, if your child is diagnosed with anything. It's a toss up. My reasoning for not wanting kids has nothing to with me thinking it will be miserable. I just feel I would be doing a kid a disservice by bringing them here with all the violence and everything else, I won't ever be rich so this kids gonna struggle. I'm comfortable now, but a kid would easily disrupt that and then we would be struggling

[@Lightreign888]

Nope I’m not bringing a child into this circus so I can feel happy and joyful. I’m very content and happy with myself. That sounds wild and sounds like many weren’t happy to begin with and that’s selfish as F***‼️

[@Lillith.]

I absolutely love what the woman at 13:16 describes, but that's stuff I can do with children of loved ones. I just can't stand another person being in my home because I need alone time. I think I'd thoroughly enjoy being a mentor and a friend of mine will absolutely use me like that, but as a mentor I'm able to recharge. Parents don't get that luxury. I'm introverted, being around people is draining. I'd probably get as much joy out of being constantly with people as an extravert would get being constantly alone. With a child in the home you're never alone.

[@cartersmom0629]

I don't think I enjoyed it because I was so young when I gave birth. I brought up maybe getting an A, my mom said no. I brought up maybe adoption, his family said no. So I had one more option to have her and keep her. I had no money, no nothing. It's been 16 years and I don't have anymore children other than my daughter. I love her very much but I didn't enjoy having her at 18 and still being a kid myself. I'd like to eventually have another child but if I doesn't happen, I'd be ok.

[@aliinwonderland656]

My sons are the best “thing” I’ve ever done in life. Had them when I was 19. I would not be who I am without them. I love the woman I have grown into. Not every mama struggles due to motherhood. I love the now men I have raised. I am prouddddddddd of those men. I have no problem with women that choose not to have children, everyone’s story is not the same.

[@biblethumper8088]

Did your life get better financially specifically from having children? If so, explain by how much and by what method. Thanks.

[@T.C556]

Totally with you. Motherhood,including the sacrifices, is wayyyy more than enjoyable. It’s rewarding and fulfilling in ways that can’t be described especially when you have a great supportive partner and family around you. I get that it’s not for everyone and think it’s wonderful that women who don’t fancy it are becoming more empowered to live their childfree lives.

[@loneagnostic9163]

I had mine at 13, she's almost 20, I'm not doing that ever again

[@blessingncube2935]

Lol you 😂😂

[@dropletsonbardi]

You rocking those glasses sis! Great video as always! Notice how the parents that did talk in this video never brought up the potential of raising a special needs/differently abled child or mental issues....that can add another overwhelming load to parenting and theres nothing really to do about it but endure

[@wottajourney]

Is there really a lot of negativity around people who don't want children? I have never experienced any or maybe it went over my head

[@DestinyUteh]

Really. 😃 probably

[@ddrebrne3336]

Yes.

[@cosmicbrownie333]

Yes. As a black woman who decided to be CF other black people act like I'm killing off the race as soon as they find out lol I'm 33 and and it's only gotten worse since they feel like I'm the ideal "type" for a great mother or role model for other black women.

[@teoleno4019]

Yes there are. Passive aggressive remarks in work to woman who do not want kids!

[@sunsetanimator4187]

To summarise it for you, it’s a mixture of snide remarks from lonely men or backhanded comments from women who may or may not being having/ already have kids getting passive aggressive towards you, because they think ‘va-jay-jay = wanting kids’ quite literally, then they get excessively upset that you don’t want to deal with screaming little earthlings just cuz your a woman. Some of the quotes they use too much include: “You don’t want kids? But who’s gonna take care of you when your older?” “You’re a woman! It’s your god given duty to give your man children.” Etc, lots of gaslighting, toxic attitudes, societal pressure and reproductive coercion. I’m happy you’ve gotten none of this, it’s such a hassle.

[@prihaps]

I always said I want to be able to eff around in my 20’s and enjoy kids in my 30’s

[@MegaSlimgoody1]

There is nothing perfect in life. Having kids is a beautiful thing, stressful thing, etc.

[@nyb3894]

I’m glad I had my daughter at 23! She’s a blessing

[@PheonixBluez]

Being a mom and parent from the moment the embryo attaches it misery. Children are not enjoyable at all. You just have to be miserable until they are out of your face and out of your house.

[@adouloslabelh2957]

Amen

[@PettyIsMyMiddleName]

Lol oh my! I wish more women would speak up like yourself. From the very first time I watched a birth on tv, it NEVER looked appealing to me. I somehow fooled myself in my late 20s early 30s that I wanted a kid. Thank goodness I came to my senses. Honestly, a vast majority of mothers don’t seem excited or happy. They always seem worn down and tired . No thanks, I’ll pass!

[@omowhanre]

Please tell everyone how you feel. I do feel bad for your kids if you have them.

[@Childfree334]

​@@omowhanre I appreciate parents who tell the truth like this. So many people do not like being parents and do not like their kids. Instead of verbalizing it, they just manifest their misery by abusing and neglecting the kids.

[@divinemoon6549]

I feel sorry for your kids if you have any. You need help

[@ajohonly3721]

I have 3 kids six and under,,,,,,,,,let me tell yooooouuuuuuuuu this sh#t is Hard with a husband I don’t know how single moms do it.

[@biblethumper8088]

Choosing the street life over motherhood is not the reason most women avoid parenthood. Some are smart and choose order over chaos. It's smart to go to school, obtain a career, secure a home and savings before family. Some women just don't want to serve others all the time. So, it is more so they are choosing freedom from stress vs. freedom to be a wild animal.

[@TiondaRae]

Welp I rather be a wild animal. Your opinion sounds personal. but hey that doesn’t have shit to do with me.

[@biblethumper8088]

@@TiondaRae I see the hit dog hollered 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@biblethumper8088]

@@TiondaRae and my statement was in response to the bw in the video who stated she wanted to run the streets and party before having children. Most women aren't pausing motherhood for that reason. I didn't, so that's my personal story. I established my career before marriage.

[@amark8786]

Life is enjoyable with understanding one another and open to different perceptions.

[@furrymonkeything]

To not have children got decided for me by nature. I was relieved after I tried every way with my husband, and it didn't work. We didn't stay together in the end. He went off and was able to have his own kids. For a brief moment, I mourned that my body didn't "work." However, as a neonatal nurse, I was "handling" babies all the time for over thirty years. My best friend got pregnant, and I was the second mother in that child's life. The child now is fifteen. I feel I helped raise her mostly from a distance 😅. My friend went on to get married and have two more babies. Because I'm older, I'm like their grand ma. So I don't feel like I missed out, and I have had a sort of involvement from the outside, "now, and then" type of way. My life is good 😊. It worked out well for me. I stayed doing what I wanted.

[@adventuregirlinawonderworl3551]

I became a mom at 20 hated it became a new mom at 30 and loving it and the entire experience so far…. “the baby just threw dirt on me right now.” I’m over it 😂😅😅

[@KateeAngel]

It can be enjoyable for some people, but only if they get free time, help, financial stability etc. My country has maternity leave for 3 years, most of the period it is not paid but your employer can't fire you, you are garanteed to have a job after you return. And financial help for parents, daycare/kindergarten is cheap and kids 3+ years old often go there. But unfortunately there is a lack of them in some places

[@mindingmybusiness6309]

I enjoy motherhood

[@KateeAngel]

Your videos are very interesting! Thanks!

[@neshaj]

Throwing up in my hair!!!...Nah not for me. Sorry not sorry

[@Blackdiamond929_]

9:20 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@Mami-fe1qc]

is NOT enjoyable at all! and those who say it is are liars!!!! being a mom is HARD work! and something that is HARD to do is NOT enjoyable! I hear mom saying the cliche "is the most rewarding thing in the world" and they in the next sentence they say, "but is very very HARD" "you will never sleep again" "you will cry a LOT" "forget about having fun" "but is the most beautiful thing in the world" I'm like, cognitive dissonance much?!?!?! LIAR!!!!

[@divinemoon6549]

Life is hard. Do you not enjoy it?

[@elsands9774]

@@divinemoon6549. I’m thinking by their comment, no they don’t/haven’t enjoyed life.

[@yahosephbenyisrael917]

Hey Queen Destiny ❤

[@DestinyUteh]

Hey Brother 🤎🤎🤎 how are you doing

[@mvpunique]

Motherhood is all about balance.

[@Cantetinza17]

Like everything in life kids have pros and cons. I'm 42 and I want kids, but I just haven't found the right person to do it with. When I was younger I wanted kids in my 20's,but now that I'm over 40, I say get your kicks at 20 and start in 30's. I think about how I was as a child and I was lovely, BUT I was dirty as hell and I brought home every animal I was always into something. If you were a terror as a child you might want to think twice. You know how they say that you get a child that was just like you.

[@TelishaYah]

I liked all of the ladies' stitches. The guy was a misfit in this video.

[@Emptytopfloor]

I agree. He totally missed the mark.

[@mindingmybusiness6309]

Having children is enjoyable for me

[@UwUarchy0]

I think kids are enjoyable

[@biblethumper8088]

I would say having children is not enjoyable. There are moments that you enjoy, but the lifelong experience isn't enjoyable. It can be tolerable if you have security and both parents are involved, bc then you can get a break and recharge. So, I would recommend women just avoid having children. If you do, at least you've been warned about what could happen. But also remember that men are and will continue to make it hard for women to live without them by withholding resources. So also remember that for every woman that gives birth, you are contributing to the oppression of all women and children.

[@aneshia8675]

Wow the last line in this statement is wow.

[@biblethumper8088]

@@aneshia8675 @aneshia8675 well, let's look at my last statement and see if it's true. Oppression means being subject to unjust treatment or control. Men by and large oppress women and children more than the reverse. ✔️=Facts All men are birthed from women. ✔️ There are men who are oppressing women and children presently. ✔️ If women stopped birthing children, then oppression from males stops.✔️ So, although my statement might seem extreme, it is factual. And although there are some good men that don't oppress, there are ones that do whether it's in relationships, business or socially. And until men stop other men from oppressing women and children, women birthing children will continue the oppression of women and children. ✔️

[@divinemoon6549]

😂😂😂 you sound stupid. But you're a "Bible thumper"?

[@lisah8438]

I think having kids is enjoyable. If you want to have kids. I want to enjoy my kids.

[@lsmith4470]

I think children are enjoyable when the mother can handle them...Meaning...when children are difficult and put a lot of stress on the mother that is when she regrets having them...and opposite when the children are well behave....she enjoys them more.

[@Healyolife]

It's not enjoyable!!!! Not in this world today. At 59, raised my kidos in the 80's that time was so so much better to have children. As a grandmother now the world for children is information technology addiction. When they go to school, at home, everywhere is tecnology & social media bombarding your child with information. OMG, don't d o it!

[@taidilla]

I liked having children but not with who I had them with. Society literally makes it harder to raise the next generation which is stupid. However, it's to be noted that choosing either side can come with regret. Now I believe that the reason women are fertile before their brain matures is because when you think about it. It can look like a crappy deal. And let's be honest after a certain age women can't even have kids by default. But that's happening now more. Some women say it's because they don't want them and it might be that a man don't want to have them with you. I guess the only problem that I have with childless women, is that often the train they are childless is because they aborted their kids and that part ain't fair.

[@elyse443]

I don’t think the point of building your family is that it’s enjoyable. Obviously there is a ton of joy, but not every minute. Building a business, working towards becoming an MD, investing money… literally anything you build takes sacrifice and isn’t just always fun. It’s silly to skip something in life because it’s not “enjoyable.” If you don’t want kids, great. But it’s no more fun than building a business will be. Worth it? For most, yes.

[@omegaone65]

At least adult women have a choice... not so much if you're a victim of teenage pregnancy

[@MariaBrinks25]

Yes animal children are enjoyable fun and adorable but human children? NO they are not!!!!

[@thunderlion6909]

What that old saying if want the truth don't go to adult go to a child because they don't know how to lie yet it was something along those lines

[@PettyIsMyMiddleName]

Yep children and really old people ALWAYS tell the truth lol. My dad was older when he had me . He died in 2021 at 80 years old , so I have somewhat of an “old soul” I guess. I’m 39 now and he used to tell me all the time don’t worry about getting married, don’t worry about kids , it’s not worth it at all 🤣 He said he would have had a raw deal if I wasn’t born and that was the only reason he loved being a dad was bc of me. Basically, a person is taking a 50/50 chance on having kids , he said he got lucky lol

[@MzDeAndraJhene]

I’m tired of seeing these mothers complain and moan about being parents. You chose to have a child. Though I know it can be stressful, stop complaining about it constantly. Your kids can feel that energy and you’re making the people who are childless not want kids.

[@Mystixspiral]

1 is fun don’t care

[@raywilliams4387]

Help me please.

[@divinemoon6549]

Thank you all for these bitter, entertaining comments. I hope this makes y'all feel better. 🤣🤣

[@SeherSeven]

Having children is definitely no easy thing and yet we all were children. It's so odd that the modern culture promotes abandoning the thing that all creatures on Earth do, reproduce. Of course, to each his/her own. Though replicating ones genetics is literally why one is born and living. The lessons of parenthood build the type of humans that build societies.

[@iwillnotusethegothfont9312]

our societies are all failures lol

[@iwillnotusethegothfont9312]

also no one chose to be born and a lot of people aren’t enjoying their lives

[@Mrs.SimonifYouNasty]

Mom pop the same bullshit. She didn't raise us my grandparents did and we helped each other, while she ran "worked". Now my siblings need to "work" and all they ever hear is " im not that type of grandparent" accountability anyone🤔

[@DragonFetishFire]

Motherhood is the steepest and fastest way to enlightenment. Not for everyone.

[@Childfree334]

If motherhood is the steepest and fastest way to enlightenment, how come the millions of women who abuse, neglect, and abandon their children didn't get the memo?

[@DragonFetishFire]

@@Childfree334 Not all mothers choose to climb. It's a choice and it's hard.