Why Nothing You Buy Feels Good Anymore

[@kyrakytana]

I totally agree with you on the restocking videos. My friends and I call them "Hoarders: Pinterest Edition", because that's what this is: aesthetic hoarding.

[@Smithpolly]

the restocking videos are just ads

[@annapetryk]

😂😂😂

[@bysarahalexander4426]

I love this. Amazing.

[@ThatbitchJulia]

There’s another creator I watch on KZbin that added up the cost of one “self care period bath” video and the cost off all the bath bombs, lotions, potions, gadgets, it was over $1000 for 1 bath! Which looked like it was gonna give this girl a yeast infection by the way. Of course every item was on her amazon store front, and I wouldn’t be shocked if she never even got in the bath

[@mina-ala]

I love this!

[@bforblonde]

I curbed my shopping habits by placing quality requirements such as only buying natural fiber garments like cotton, silk, etc. when the majority of soft lines are made out of polyester, it becomes immensely harder to binge purchase because you have to actively weed through and seek out clothes rather than stumbling upon them.

[@catherinesanchez1185]

I’ve been doing the same thing . Instead of buying 20 items that cost $20 each , I can buy something I LOVE for a couple hundred that I’ll keep for years . I always calculate how long I’ll own something before buying it

[@katelyndefreitas2810]

Same and second hand if I can

[@paprika579]

@@catherinesanchez1185do you have recs for places to find such clothing?

[@paprika579]

Any recs on where to find such clothing?

[@phoeberainier]

@@paprika579 If you don't have time to thirft yourself so many people offer amazing deals on poshmark, ebay, mercari, depop, etc!

[@juliacmendes]

I've just heard from a psychologist, and it blew my mind: "there's no such thing as perfect mental health. This is a lie sold by capitalism. The best we can aspire to is 'ordinary suffering'."

[@oxigen85]

Ooof.

[@lunarose9]

perfection, of anything, does not exist.

[@doftly]

So true

[@arc8584]

Great way to put it. Perfect mental health is otherwise called denial of reality 😅 staying mentally healthy is like staying physically healthy. A day by day process that includes hundreds of decisions and habit we hold.

[@shisuiki]

This genuinely made me feel better about myself, thank you for sharing. Love me some blunt psychologists.

[@PerfectPencil]

I wish there was a way to return to glass, ceramic and wood. I hate plastic so much. We should own a lot less overall, but the things we DO own should be built to last. Junk goods need to go away.

[@carlycaye90]

I agree.... yet I still find myself grabbing my plastic mixing bowls and not my metal ones just because they're a little quieter.

[@Coromi1]

I disklike plastic, too, but I still bought plastic storage containers for dry foods. They are much thinner and lighter than glass. Plastic has its use cases.

[@marylhere]

Just a pot to piss in. Let’s not be piss poor.

[@OutragedPufferfish]

Reusable things also feel better emotionally, in my experience. Insipid cheap throwaway things make you feel deprived, duped and disappointed, and still, throwing them away feels like a painful loss. Having quality things that are worthy of protection is satisfying.

[@liliththefirehawk796]

THIS!!! “Things aren’t made like they used to be” is completely true.

[@muiawat]

When “poor” people do it , it’s hoarding but when “rich” people do it, it’s restocking

[@saltycrunch]

Restocking or ~collecting~.

[@muiawat]

@ lol 😂 what about the fashion girlies and their “ archives” aka the designer pieces they got from their parents and/or intending to pass onto their kids

[@saltycrunch]

@@muiawat at this point I just assume "archive" = "enormous unruly den of crap".

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

Not so much…I’ve known rich people who definitely were hoarders. The difference is organization. Even poor people who hoard can organize. I have an ex whose very rich parents packed a house so full of disorganized crap that they lost their dog in it all, and had to follow the smell to find the body when it started to decompose. Wealth didn’t make them into “restockers.” Likewise, I know people without much money who call themselves “restockers,” whose stuff is more organized than a store.

[@tom23245]

The difference is mainly "value" and organization. A thousand boots from different unique makers in cases organized so each one can be found quickly is a collection. A pile of random boots where the left and right boots can't even be matched together is hoarding. The former also implies intent and purpose, while the latter implies mental deficiencies or issues.

[@puneetsinha27]

Even Socrates, who lived a very frugal and simple life, loved to go to the market. When his students asked about this, he replied, "I love to go and see all the things I am happy without." From the book "After the Ecstasy, the Laundry" by Jack Kornfield *Practice:* On your next trip to the mall, pretend you are visiting a museum. Admire the beautiful objects, but don't touch anything. Notice how many things you DON'T need, to be happy! Activity credit: Nithya Shanti

[@heyhey11793]

I love this idea! but I must touch and feel it. I hate that I can’t touch things at museums, I understand why, but at the store I will touch lol.

[@theintelligentzombie9949]

This! I love window shopping almost more than regular shopping, feeling the soft blankets and pillows, pointing out cool decor, but knowing that you don't need it, especially at that very moment

[@katarh]

I actively curate a wish list at many stories. So I get the dopamine hit of adding to my shopping card, but don't feel the need to follow through on buying it. Every once in a while, I'll go through the list, and if it's still something I want, I'll go ahead and commit - but most of the items get deleted right back out again.

[@CassandraY]

@@katarh I do the same with Lists on Amazon.

[@Letthembelightpeaceonelove]

​@@katarhYes! Me too! Its like all we really want is to see new things, things that please the eyes, but we don't need to own them to get happiness from them. I like to look at clothes at stores sometimes and imagine myself wearing them, but then I think of all the other great clothes I have at home that probably fit me much better, waiting to be used. Then I think of someone else buying those clothes for themselves or for someone else as a gift and how much they will love them and I can leave the store happily, without material FOMO. 😂 I am happy wearing some of the same clothes I have had since highschool or college, and I'm almost 30. I still like them and they still fit, so I will most likely keep them for many more years.

[@hallamshire]

My mother used to remark that my grandmother (her mother in law) was a horder but most people couldn't tell only because her house was so big and well organized.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

I see this with my parents. my parents attic is unbelievable, they have all the dogs' baskets up their, taped up boxes of stuff *their* grandparents gave them..... house is ok tho. But the house will be sold one day and h0ly d0g that attic scares me.

[@deborahcurtis1385]

@@SusanaXpeace2u I don't think sentimental hoarding is in the same league as compulsive shopping TBH. They are afraid of disrespecting the person who is gone. This is perfectly understandable. Also they may not be able to make those decisions. I wouldn't be scared of an attic. Rather than hurt or pressure them, you're going to take on the sorting out process. Most families have someone who acts like a historian of sorts and it sounds like your parents have had those roles. Have a game plan and coordinate with your siblings or other relatives. Photograph items you cannot keep. It doesn't sound scary at all. Try to talk with your parents about documenting and what items are there and why. You may even change your mind and want to write a family history or whatever. Just some suggestions about how to look at this differently.

[@jaynycha1705]

@@deborahcurtis1385 Girl stop. When the parents die all that crap is going to a landfill.

[@Tessa_Ru]

Having stuff doesn't make you a hoarder though. If it fits and has it's place, there's nothing wrong with keeping it. Hoarders have garbage and mold and towers of items that don't actually fit anywhere. Try looking up commentary on how Minimalism lifestyle is just a privilege for rich people.

[@brockreynolds870]

@@jaynycha1705 Why would people have no interest in saving things that belonged to their great grandparents. I have my great great grandmothers' Morris chair from the 1800's. This last Christmas I posed for a photo sitting in it, and I made a collage with that photo and a photo of my great great grandmother sitting in it 120 years ago.

[@anmolmathur4166]

"But I really do not think we are experiencing the proper level of disgust" is such a great line. I'm hoping I have an opportunity to use it in the near future

[@AdmiringObserverR]

some of us are

[@rainboweater456]

I’m using this for the election right now lmaoooo

[@sunnygirl9691]

I have no problem hitting the proper level of disgust with most of social media.

[@evelyndanforth8346]

As someone who deals with trash, this is absolutely spot on. People are gross, entitled, spoiled creatures who consume and dump and consume and dump over and over.

[@bees3897]

I was looking for a comfort vlogger to watch and every time I started to find one, they would have hauls from SHEIN and Amazon and I just couldn’t support that. If yall know of lifestyle vloggers that aren’t overconsuming let me know!

[@KatelynnCox-qb5er]

With constant exposure to advertisements and promotions, it can be overwhelming. The sheer volume of choices can dilute the excitement of making a purchase, leading to buyer's fatigue.

[@PaulWard-nr5rj]

The rise of online shopping has made it too easy to buy things impulsively. This instant gratification often leads to a lack of appreciation for what’s bought, making it feel less special.

[@ArthurJones-v2i]

Increased awareness of financial priorities and responsibilities can overshadow the thrill of shopping. When focusing on saving or investing, spending can feel more like a burden than a joy

[@MartinHicks-dw2su]

The prevalence of cheap, disposable goods can make it hard to feel satisfied. Many people long for meaningful purchases that offer lasting value, but these are often harder to find amid a sea of lower-quality items.

[@AlbertHenry-e9w]

Seeing others showcase their purchases on social media can create a sense of inadequacy. This comparison can shift the focus from enjoying what you have to wanting what others have, making satisfaction elusive.

[@EthanWalter-wn3mk]

Many purchases are made out of habit rather than genuine desire. When items are bought without a true emotional connection, the joy of ownership diminishes, leaving a feeling of emptiness.

[@Dr.Beetlejuice110]

I really want her to go over the single income vs. dual income family model. I know she would kill that topic.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

Oh yeh. My daughter used to say "mum, we're povo" (tiktok expression?) and I used to think "honey, there is one income coming into this house and every decision I make is a balance between gratification now and security in the future. Because of this process ("will it matter in 5 years, 10 years, 3 weeks!?) my daughter is mixing with some private school girls at college and she is not conscious of being too different.

[@deborahcurtis1385]

Also the fact that we are so mobile as a society means it falls on only a few to do the safekeeping of family history and treasures. It's not all bad that some do this and we need to understand their rationale and what they have and why. JIMO

[@alexandrakennedy2000]

@@deborahcurtis1385great point! I’m 28 and I’m the only one in my gen who is keeping family heirlooms safe. Its a constant battle bc older relatives dump at my doorstep. Can’t keep it all but it feels heartless at times. For whatever reason this safekeeping of photos, etc. usually falls on women.

[@deborahcurtis1385]

@@alexandrakennedy2000 True! But make sure you photograph and keep details of what you cannot keep anyway...?

[@nanzilla3000]

I second this!!!!! I read Elizabeth Warren’s book on the subject, The Two-Income Trap. I’m a stay-at-home mom (domestic engineer? Family manager? Household captain? I don’t know, it all sounds crappy) not because my husband makes a ton of money but because we both made lower incomes and childcare outweighed my earning ability. I do a very delicate poverty dance to “hack” low income parenting. We definitely make it work but we compete for resources like housing against families with two middle income earners who have had to choose to let other people raise their kids, and then if anything happens to one of their jobs they are f’ed because they REQUIRE both incomes to maintain their housing/cars/healthcare/lifestyle. That was very long, sorry, just wanted to say I, too, would LOVE to see a TFD essay on this subject.

[@atmamaonline]

Chelsea you literally just forced me to re-evaluate this bag I wanted to buy because "at least it's practical" even though I currently, demonstrably, operate perfectly fine without it. Since I'm not going to get it, and since that makes me sad, I'm now going to unfairly assign blame to you. You're the reason why I'm unhappy, Chelsea. I hope you're proud of yourself. (thank you)

[@pamwaldron3504]

To alleviate your "unhappiness" and reward your self control, empty and clean your current bag thoroughly, then clean and refill your bag with the items you use most when out and about. You have now lifted yourself a "new" "vintage"(well, closer to vintage than new) bag that few other people own or carry. My preference is to only purchase vintage bags in god to excellent condition, but I hold out for the lower end of purchase price over current selling price. Ex: I paid $20 for a vintage leather Coach Willis messenger bag instead of the $200+ they were selling for at the time. (Yes, I am frugal.) My money is hard won, so the things I buy must be worth, at minimum, twice what I'm paying for them. And they must be usable and repairable for the next 20-40+ years.) In this way, I win.

[@sageholla]

Sometimes I will realize I haven’t watched TFD in a month or two and I’ll reconsider my membership… then I think of all the money she has saved me over the years and I’m like nah, I’ll find the budget literally anywhere else 😂

[@thatcleverchick1182]

She's the reason I closed the Target tab I had open also. Great video, Chelsea!

[@kailiia]

I heard a quote a few months ago that we don’t often want a « new » thing, people want a cleaner and refreshed thing. So the comment about cleaning and taking care of what you’re using now both extends its purposeful life and helps acquaint you with it to extend your appreciation of it.

[@getitoutofme]

I operated perfectly fine without the bag I just bought two weeks ago but I don't regret buying it one bit and it's become something that brings me a lot of happiness. I absolutely love the way it looks and use it every single day. Yes I was fine without it before but that doesn't mean it was a bad idea to buy it. Beating yourself up and making yourself sad by denying yourself sensible pleasures is a problem as well as overconsumption.

[@sinfulhappiness]

One of the craziest things I have noticed over the past decade is that a side effect of over consumption/hoarding has caused a BOOM of storage unit companies that have been built due to the lack of square footage needed to store all the over consumption in their apartments. So not only are you buying/hoarding too many things you don't need and lack the space for, but they are also paying rent to store the things they don't need. Yikes.

[@jaynycha1705]

This is true! But sadly, more times than not, storage is the last cope of someone swearing they'll get back on their feet. Until they keep missing the storage payments and then all the storage is auctioned off :,(

[@sinfulhappiness]

@@jaynycha1705 Auctioned off so the cycle can continue. My father always called this "legal dumping" for profit. The storage company needs cheap labor to remove the items to start renting the space again. So its auctioned off at almost nothing just so the garbage is the next persons problem. I enjoyed watching all the "Amazon Returns pallet" reseller videos, but they also reminded me of that "legal dumping" phrase after the resellers toss 90% of the pallet in their own garbage. So they paid twice. Once to ship it to them, and again to their waste removal company to have most of it shipped to the landfill. Kind of crazy how much it just becomes the logistics of other peoples garbage, round and round until its in the ground. 🙈😅

[@lunarose9]

Also, housing instability. Everyone renting and extortionate prices has increased precarity and it means that people such as myself end up having to emergancy haul all of our belingings into a unit. I don't want my storage unit, I want a livable house, but I am stuck with it anyway.

[@Vickynger]

i think this is less of a problem of overconsumption and more a problem of increased housing insecurity

[@cs8712]

@@jaynycha1705 My favorite local store is one that buys up abandoned/unpaid storage units and sells the contents. Lots of great vintage stuff to be found

[@Megan-nt7dm]

Having too much clutter and stuff around has a noticable impact on my anxiety levels. Ive fully decluttered and simplified my tiny office and only have the things I use at least once a week in there, and it has become my favorite room, even when Im not working. Ive stopped shopping for fun, and it has helped so, so much. I only buy something after putting it on a list, and if I decide I still need/want it after a few days, then Ill do some reseaech and find one, usually checking second hand first because Im still holding onto that dream of owning a house before I die lol

[@meadowrae1491]

I have followed this method for years now. I was recently diagnosed ADHD, but before then I recognized that I had impulse control issues. If I really wanted something, I would set specific time limits to determine if it was an impulse or not. If I wanted new exercise equipment/a new gym membership, I had to commit time to the activity for at least 30 days. For bigger things (like, a tattoo for example) I waited at least a year. As a result I have only two tattoos.

[@NickiMinajNewSongs]

I have 28 unopened Lego sets cus I have nowhere to place them after I build it 😢

[@metriq8268]

I’m on my way to losing 25 kg (15 down already) and I’ll keep a minimalist wardrobe from now on. I didn’t see much of a point in getting rid of perfectly usable clothes, so I had way too many. But now I got the perfect reason.

[@miriamrobarts]

@@NickiMinajNewSongs You can still build it, then enjoy it for a while before taking it apart & choosing another one.

[@MoodyMickey]

​@@meadowrae1491I should really try this. I don't usually make big purchases too often, but I've occasionally bought expensive things on impulse. I usually try to give myself time to make sure I really want it, but I should probably give myself more time

[@glendabanta4832]

I am a real estate photographer and home stager. The thing I see that scares me the most is the constant turn over in the home. Not just things like pillows, towels, or rugs, or even paint, but flooring, cabinets, light fixtures, faucets, whole bathrooms and kitchens. People will ask if they need to redo their house completely to sell it for maximum profit, and I tell them, "No, it doesn't matter what you do, the next person is going to gut it and redo it to their taste anyway." I feel like HGTV turned Americans into home reno addicts who just can't stop following the latest trend no matter the cost to their finances or the environment. There are a lot of real estate agents out there who also push this mentality because they believe it makes the house easier to sell if it is all the latest style or at least that's what they tell everyone.

[@penelopeprimrose90]

Interesting. I agree that HGTV kinda kickstarted the whole thing. Back before then, people just lived in their homes and it reflected the time period in which it was built, and that was okay! Everything is temporary now, not meant to last. I think it is depressing. The construction is usually cheap and poorly made. Houses built these days will not stand the test of time like houses in the past did.

[@glendabanta4832]

@@penelopeprimrose90 It really is depressing and it shows that even buying a home doesn't feel good to people anymore because they immediately have to redo it and then constantly have to update it instead of personalizing it into a space that makes them happy. It's so sad.

[@penelopeprimrose90]

@@glendabanta4832 So true. Very stressful too, I imagine.

[@angelagrant9163]

HGTV is horrible at sucking home buyers into the latest trend, plus these trends are just out and out ugly. I thankfully do not own a house, it was a nightmare the last home I owned, so no more of that. I'm very happy with my perfect apartment, that I only pay my very affordable rent and live😊😊😊

[@thornyback]

I see this on reddit's renovation subs daily. People who want to rip out BEAUTIFUL kitchens just to follow the latest trend while putting themselves even further into debt. A kitchen remodel nowadays costs at least $40k and for most people that is payments for at least 1-2 years of work. People are mindlessly adding years of debt only to follow the latest trend while destroying valuables they already paid for. It is infuriating!

[@teenindustry]

Social media does a lot of extremes. Minimalism seems to value a single white couch and this is the other end. Just having a nice normal house with things that you like is somehow too mainstream

[@Smithpolly]

Except there are minimalist channels that aren't about a single white couch but about having an awareness of making sure that stuff you have is working for you instead of against you.

[@matthewcaldwell8100]

@@Smithpolly No, there aren't. They all inevitably fetishize that bleak aesthetic.

[@catdragon1313]

@@matthewcaldwell8100there’s “minimalist design and aesthetic”, and then there’s “minimalism” as a guide. The aesthetic, and whats shown off in media, is the single white couch. Using minimalism is just about seeing what you need and have, and clearing out the excess. It’s different for every person: if you need to use two couches then that’s good for you, if you have two couches and live alone and don’t hold gatherings then why do you have two couches? Also makes you consider things like why do I have five crappy screwdrivers when I could buy one good screwdriver that I don’t have to replace? Mindfulness of possessions is what it boils down to. Marketing says you need something, minimalism says ask if you really do, and if you do then that’s fine. The act of considering whether the purchase necessary is key, just like whether to keep an item or not.

[@matthewcaldwell8100]

@@catdragon1313 Nope. Disagree. It's a fetish, an aesthetic, or at best a status signifier. Being mindful about what you purchase is not sufficiently complex to require an entire philosophy behind it.

[@Smithpolly]

@@matthewcaldwell8100 Minimal Mom doesn't have a bleak aesthetic.

[@Quickeeeee]

I think loss of community also has an impact. I'm currently moving and need to let to of stuff, but I can't be comfortable with the thought of "If I give something away to friends/family I can borrow it in the future". Or similarly I feel the need to have my own stock-pile of items instead of asking ppl if I can borrow or rent their things instead. My circle could definitely benefit from sharing things like tools, but we just don't.

[@meadowrae1491]

I think this was the intention all along. Growing up, you could borrow tools from any uncle and it wasn't weird. Now that would be considered highly strange.

[@jasminecollins897]

There are still some community groups and organizations that will accept and hold tools and other supplies for the community to draw from or borrow as needed. Not everywhere, but in more places than you might think. I'm not sure what the best way to find them is, but it might be worth searching for them online or asking your neighbors. I very much feel you on the desire to be able to give away useful things to people in your personal network, and that is a pretty normal and reasonable thing to want. It's not really logical at all that we should all feel like we need to have every tool or household item or even clothing items for every circumstance. Historically, people shared, traded, and borrowed a hell of a lot more of that stuff. That also meant it could all be higher quality and more expensive, because a community of a hundred homes doesn't need a hundred individual versions of the same tool. It needs maybe a dozen or so, well made, which can be passed around and shared. My kid doesn't need a brand new wool coat every time she has a growth spurt, because the neighbor's kid is a bit older and will pass theirs down when they outgrow it, and then ours gets passed to a cousin with a child a little younger or smaller. We're not supposed to all be operating as single family units, pretending we live on islands. It's crazy.

[@kagitsune]

This, this, this.

[@yaoyanhuang7927]

There's local organizing around free stores/swap shops/tool libraries and such trying to address this issue worth looking into

[@ishathakor]

yeah, i've noticed this too. used to be that you can just borrow screwdrivers from your neighbour when you need them but now no one talks to each other and everyone needs their own stuff.

[@gigilee8599]

While I appreciate the sentiment, there just is no buying quality items for middle class people anymore. Thrift stores are full of Shein crap, previously "good" brands are producing garbage, and Facebook marketplace is cheap Wayfair furniture.

[@SamuraiShizuo]

True. The quality has been deteriorating steadily for decades. However, I still noticed a steep decline during COVID years... Nowadays, when I buy a pair of sweatpants they chafe in the thighs after 2 uses!! And they still cost too much. I don't want single use clothing!!

[@Draggonny]

You have to travel to where the rich people live. I live in a poor area but it is within a one mile walk to an affluent area. Their 1 charity/thrift shop is like an Aladdin's cave and they sell high quality, great condition furniture for practically nothing on Facebook Marketplace because they'd have to pay someone to just throw it away. I once did a 200 mile round trip to collect a second hand range cooker because it was at least 2k cheaper than buying it new. They bought it as a placeholder until they refurbished the kitchen to have an even bigger, more expensive one. Rich people have no concept of resale value.

[@vaderladyl]

@@Draggonny yes the items a t one given store can be influenced by the type of people that donate to it and the area it is located at.

[@sageholla]

Wait wayfair is cheap? 😮 I’m poorer than thought lmao

[@EFW93]

@@SamuraiShizuo this is true! Our wall oven/micro combo went out and to get a new one was AT LEAST $4,800. Found one brand new with the film on it still on marketplace for $1000. The guy selling it was redoing a kitchen for some CEO's wife, and she changed her mind on the color. Couldn't even haggle with the guy, just handed him cash and said thank you lol. Rich people can be pretty careless and just throw stuff away because it doesn't fit their current trend, but I also commended the guy for trying to make a buck and being 80% cheaper.

[@aszechy]

It's great that you higlighted how it's not just clothes - I'm from Eastern Europe, we're somewhat behind the US on the consumerism curve, and what really caught my eye recently is the seasonal and other themed trends. Previously we all had, for example, our kitchen utensils that we used all year round (with maybe a nicer tablecloth or fancy plates for special occasions) - these days, the stores are full of Christmas themed dishes, tablecloths, baking forms, aprons, oven mitts, etc. which no-one before thought necessary but now I see many people buying them (and I assume other holidays and seasons will follow, because it's an ingenious way to sell more of things that don't need to be replaced frequently). Even my son's school has introduced a "christmas sweater" day, and I was the only one who said I'm not going to buy him a sweater that he's going to wear on that one day (and maybe twice more during that holiday season, because by next year it will no longer fit). I wonder how far it can go, because even if the stuff is cheap made in China crap, in my country not many people have big enough houses to store five different sets of complete kitchenware and everything.

[@littleblackpistol]

Oh, the Christmas jumper crap! Same here in the UK. I refuse to buy an ugly synthetic jumper for £20 for ONE day. Not happening, ever. It's wasteful and stupid.

[@marlena.]

​Not nessecary, but still fun, I have one I've had for over 5 years now, but I also where(!)(Edit:wear😅) it when I'm cold at night or as a pyajama lol, so not that wastefull.​@@littleblackpistol

[@arozeisarozie]

@@littleblackpistolIt’s so interesting because the ugly sweater tradition came from underconsumption- we wore that ugly shit our families gifted us for Christmas (usually holiday-themed) and got a good laugh out of it. “White Elephant” gift exchanges were along the same vein; you exchanged something that you got for Christmas that you hated at a fun party with friends! When I first started seeing sweaters (or jumpers) for Christmas being advertised as “ugly”, I was so confused. But it’s a thing now.

[@Hechete]

@@arozeisarozie Exactly! Sometimes it was the handmade stuff your family gifted you which was REALLY sweet, but looked awful, so you knew you couldn't just...get rid of it. It HAD to be re-gifted. I never participated because my family didn't make handmade stuff then, but when I saw that starting to be commercialized, I was really sad.

[@you_are_all_lovely]

I agree, there are pretty cheap Christmas jumpers in the charity shop in the uk

[@danielleculler1495]

Taking a second here to express gratitude to see a woman speaking out about financial issues that actually matter to me. It seems like whenever I try and improve my financial literacy, I end up being inundated by men telling me to invest in the stock market and how buying things with cash is stupid. All of those things may be true, but I will never take them at face value when they are spoken at me in a patronizing way. Just because we've only been able to have our own credit cards for 50 years, doesn't mean we have to fall victim to a poverty of information or infantilization. Here's to more women improving financial literacy for other women.🥂

[@carpediem44]

Maybe I'm stupid. I buy EVERYTHING with cash. I bought my house with cash. The only things I've bought with credit in the past several years have been health care (two medically necessary surgeries).

[@user-dt3rc9yt1t]

Yes!! This is the only finance channel I’ve found that is both critical of capitalism as a system and also realistic about how me work within this system to live fulfilled lives. Whenever I say I like this channel I need to caveat it with “it’s not a finance bro channel”

[@CristalianaIvor]

The stock market is just gambling, don't fall for those low value finance bros, listen to your guts 🥰 as for cash only: sometimes it makes more sense to buy something on a loan instead of saving up for it. But I am not smart enough to know when lol also the other aspect of paying with cash is budgeting: you always physically see how much money you have left. I see my cash as my play money tbh. Using a card makes you loose track of how much you spent, so cash has many benefits 💙

[@fluffers7997]

@@CristalianaIvor Ya, that's why I use cash for everything unless it's something I can only get online or regular monthly expenses I already budgeted for. It helps curb you from buying stuff you don't really need because you think it's only 20$ but when you see it's physically 1/3 of your fun money for the month you usually put it back on the shelf. Using CC for everything is nice when you have a decent income and don't have to budget every dollar. IDC how good your self control is, a bargain can still make you spend more on card every month than you think you're spending. There's still a mental gap between physical and digital everything.

[@thatfuzzypotato1877]

I really wish there was more advice than tHe StOcK mArKeT which is just gambling to everyone without degrees in economics and statistics. Stocks RUIN people

[@sarak6401]

As a millennial raised by a low income teacher boomer, I am so grateful she taught my brothers and I to sew. Both her sons and daughter needed to know how to hem, take in, and adjust our clothes. This has saved me so much money in my adulthood, I now adjust my husband's clothes and plan on teaching my children this skill as well.

[@laurentracy6282]

I appreciate you talking about "the shameful and stigmatized imagery of people who have consumed themselves into a living prison." Over consumption can spiral from treat yo self to a real problem fairly quickly. Especially, in a society where true measures of wealth are out of reach for many people, therefore indulging in overspending on everyday luxuries like clothes, books, and candles can become the norm.

[@vanillabeanlady]

My mother has a terrible shopping addiction, and it's so sad to see. She believes she deserves the best, so living beyond her means is just par for the course. She makes less than $20 an hour and yet owns all the latest gadgets that she doesn't even use. She was working at a home shopping network, and got addicted to buying the stuff for herself to the point that she started compulsively sending me random stuff because she had nowhere to put it all. She's up to her eyeballs in debt, and has denied any advice on the matter. I tried to convince her to join a local church as she loves holidays and socializing, and has zero friends. I told her it could help give her more meaning in her life. She refused and just shops, buys new cars, etc instead. I told her upfront she's not living with me when she gets too old to care for herself, because I am not taking the fall for her poor financial choices. I can't afford to take on another adult.

[@Ella-g2m]

That's tough, and you're right to set a boundary. I can't imagine making teenager money and yet spending all day shopping and buying cars. She is refusing to look at reality and is setting herself up to crash and burn. Retirement is expensive, healthcare in old age is expensive... She is gonna get blindsided.

[@turtleanton6539]

Ouch

[@ashleyconnor8891]

Yes, you need to protect yourself, good for you.

[@slimjim2584]

Bankruptcy is an option

[@Shirumoon]

@@slimjim2584 But not a solution. She'll likely still continue to overspend.

[@mariekev-j8d]

my grandparents were happy to have an orange a couple of times a year. We can have it any time of year, any day and not even enjoy it so much. It's just insane. I made a vow to myself to reduce my consumption drastically. Underconsumption or rather normal consumption the way it was / is supposed to be. Less items and better quality, better for the environment.

[@D.von.N]

Sometimes one has to make an effort to be environmentally friendly. I have decided not to throw my old ex vista laptop to the bin, I learned working with Linux that literally brought my 16 yo machine back to life. The same for Windows 11 next year. About 240 million computers will suddenly become trash, because Microsoft has decided Win10 will lose support and Win11 is incompatible with these still functional and working computers. That is how corporations are milking us unless we resist. The vast majority of population can work perfectly with open source operating systems but they never will, because Linux doesn't come preinstalled on mainstream computers.

[@alyssah8756]

Boomers actually have been under consuming for decades. It’s the younger generations that have become the overconsumer. I ask my dad for help to repair things and we don’t toss things away without repair and we buy used item first

[@Леонид-в6х]

I had an eye opening experience doing my full home inventory. I thought i had a lot, A LOT, but at the end really valuable things were the house itself, new gas stove, some high end kitchen appliances, three pieces of golden jewelry, an antique ortodox icon and 15 sweaters of real fine cashmir, just because that's my thing. The rest - cheap junk of everyday use.

[@lenaor6364]

And photoalbums! For me is everything "rebuyable", but older photos are unreplacable... I even think of photoalbums waterproof and fireproof metal container...🙂

[@Robynhoodlum]

This. Half the time I don’t bother to lock my door when I leave because I know all my stuff is cheap except for my phone, my laptop, my car, and myself (health wise). If I leave for work, there is nothing in my Apartment worth more than $100. My renters insurance only covers $10k in replacement value. That’s all it’s worth!😂

[@Robynhoodlum]

@@lenaor6364well yes, but irreplaceable sentimental items are worth more in the heart than the wallet.

[@bugzpudding]

​@@Robynhoodlumplz lock ur door.

[@syddlinden8966]

Just want to point out that hoarding is not about consumerism. It is quite literally an anxiety disorder adjacent to OCD where a person cannot let go of anything. Most hoarders, it's not that they're buying everything, it's that they are quite literally holding on to either trash or things that are broken or no longer usable and the sentimental attachment is too much to let it go. (I would know. My OCD got to the point that I was holding on to rappers from the things. I was quite literally pushing into a hosrding disorder before i got medicated for my anxiety and tested for ocd.)

[@syddlinden8966]

Tldr: shopping addiction is better psych ref for this instead of hoarding

[@theConcernedWyvern]

Thank you! I did not like that being referred to as hoarding, and I really don't like the idea of watching a sensationalist, manipulative, reality TV show (Hoarders) as research for the video. I am not a hoarder myself, but it honestly seems like a very difficult thing to go through and I think it's important to approach those topics with precision and accuracy. A problem has to be accurate diagnosed before it can be solved and shopping addiction is absolutely the correct term for this.

[@Shirumoon]

@@theConcernedWyvern So glad that people have noticed this detail in the video. My grandma was not a diagnosed hoarder but she had very clear tendencies is that direction. She wasn't interested in fashion or anything material but she lived through WW2 in eastern Europe and the aftermath so she (and to a more extreme extent her sister) would hold onto everything, including food that had gone bad. Her spending habits were just fine. Imho hoarding is nothing about shopping and everything about being terrified of losing control.

[@aviezer_who_drinks_seltzer371]

True... A lot of these people are just addicted to shopping or to collecting specific things.

[@hippybecca]

Agreed. I am not a full on hoarder, but I know I have the tendencies and have to keep myself in check every so often. Ever since childhood I have always been sentimental about everything. Partially because items help me with my memories. One thing that has helped is now I can take pictures of stuff to remember things by.

[@smu7270]

When I saw my 1st "fridgescaping" video, I knew we were doomed.

[@Draggonny]

I heard about fridgescaping on a Reddit post and had to Google it to check they hadn't made it up.

[@smu7270]

@@Draggonny Kind of same. A friend told me about it and I didn't believe her until I saw some reels on IG :/

[@ForsetisStenographer]

​@@Draggonny Same! And know I get the shorts and even ads for fridgescaping products. It's insane

[@FALprofessional]

WTF, "fridgescaping?" One of the most excessive things I've ever heard of. I get wanting to interior decorate - make things looks nice - but please. Set some boundaries. Put your stuff and the fridge and let is cool down. Don't decorate it.

[@r.brooks5287]

I don't need to add plants to my fridge, there's already lots of green stuff that's alive in there.

[@namenamenamename7224]

Do I need to go to Costco, or am I just experiencing ennui?

[@muiawat]

😂😂😂 late capitalism ennui

[@tracyhoneck9177]

unless you have a large family with a lot of mouths to feed or do a lot of entertaining, I think Costco is over rated.

[@casy6203]

No I need to go, I need protein powder 😂

[@matthewcaldwell8100]

Going to CostCo to ESCAPE ennui. God, I hate it here.

[@mastelsa]

If you just want to look at stuff, go to a museum.

[@meadowrae1491]

I've adopted the mindset that I'm a tourist in my own town. I live in an area that is somewhere between rural and suburban. Our town is really old and has a lot of history, there are small events throughout the year and my son is just old enough to go to them. I mention this under this video because I think so much of the advertising we get around "family time" or traveling focuses on expensive trips and "getaway vacations." Those are great, no doubt, but you can't really create a sense of community by constantly leaving it.

[@EvelynSaungikar]

When my son was little, like 4 or 5, we would go for “rambles”. Just a walk, to see what we could see. We spent an hour watching a spider spin a web. We brought lawn chairs and lunch, and watched a wrecking crew knock down a building. We watched a paving company pave a driveway. Lots of stuff like that.

[@meadowrae1491]

@@EvelynSaungikar Aw. We do that, too. We call it "adventures."

[@theodoravellum4589]

One of the pleasant surprises of having a child is all the little places you find that your kid loves. When he was a toddler my son loved going to the salmon hatchery, a specific coffee shop, particular hiking trails, public lake accesses, etc. Even when we travel the things he remembers are like playing in the gravel behind a famous Italian tourist site.

[@raquelrodriguez9840]

About restock culture, I think it was Hannah Alonso who discovered while searching for a video that many influencers pretend to restock their fridges and cabinet, but are actually reusing the same small-sized products. So they spend a day filming themselves make-pretend and have enough content for weeks. It's so ridiculous that it is actually more ecological and frugal than what they make the general public believe...😂

[@lauriedomino3559]

Ok I don’t think this is what you’re saying but I’m imagining that they’re all restocking doll size fridges now

[@raquelrodriguez9840]

@@lauriedomino3559 I would non-ironically watch that lol Diorama channels are a dope

[@bge3328]

​@lauriedomino3559 That's probably next. We already have doll house decorating videos, doll house restockings have to be coming soon. "Restock my doll house guest bathroom with me"

[@cayteer]

I’ve never thought about that but it makes sense. Just pouring stuff back and forth in separate containers on camera lol

[@MusikGirl23]

I am working on ‘enjoying what I have’ because I have a lot of clothes/shoes/craft materials/books I haven’t read yet. I also have bipolar disorder…I was doing quite well on a low buy year until a hypomanic episode and stress set me shopping on Amazon in the spring. But overall, I have been doing better. Much things brought in. I’ve given some excess things away on Buy Nothing groups, where I know it’s going to someone who wants them and will likely make use of them vs donating to a thrift store where tons gets tossed out. I admit, I have gotten a couple of things off my Buy Nothing Facebook group, but one was a replacement for the ancient baking pans I inherited from my grandmother that were starting to rust, so it was a one in one out type of situation on something that actually needed to be replaced. But overall…I’m really trying to enjoy what I have!!

[@SilvrRazorFeather]

This is the mindset I've grown into over the years, and it's so much better than the shopping spree highs I used to get. I still love browsing antique shops and thrift stores, but I rarely buy more than one or two things, if anything at all. I ask myself "would this improve my space significantly? Or is admiring it here and now enough?" I love my mismatched kitchenware, my years old bedding with so many memories, furniture from my grandparents old house, and my jackets I've patched over nearly a decade. These items became part of my life, even if just in the background, and if they're not worn out beyond repair I won't replace them.

[@MusikGirl23]

@@SilvrRazorFeathermy mom was the opposite, very frugal. I always heard ‘we can’t afford that’ and was made to feel like we were very poor. Turns out we were pretty comfortably middle class…I knew I would have clean clothes, but I was teased/bullied about the styles my mom thought I should wear (kids didn’t wear sweat pants after about 6yrs old when I was a kid in the 1990s, they wore jeans. I maybe was allowed one pair…). I called it ‘clothing insecurity’ and I went overboard when I had my own money and could fill my closet with things I actually liked that fit me properly and looked good on me. It’s been a process coming out of that…I’ve noticed that I start mindlessly scrolling on Amazon or a couple of my favourite clothing stores online when I’m getting bored or waiting for something, so I’m working at stopping the scrolling and staying off the websites as well as unsubscribing from the advertising emails. It’s something I have to be very conscious of though.

[@whatamess8764]

I'm really proud of you. I also have bipolar so I understand how hard it is and those times where there are hypomanic/manic spending episodes.

[@MusikGirl23]

@ thanks!

[@upgrade101]

​@MusikGirl23 thank you for sharing. I feel like people don't share enough about how our neurodiversity affects our spending habits. I suffer from rapid cycling bipolar and a system I have converted to (though I realise is not perfect and may not work for everyone and doesn't always work for me) is, when I'm having a hypomanic episode is to add things to wish lists (Amazon wish list, Karma app, Pinterest). That way I can still browse and research and do all that stuff my hyperfixated mind wants to do when I want to shop or desperately 'need' something or want to start a new project or hobby, I add it to cart or a list and then try to leave it. When I come back to it - if I even remember - I often don't want it anymore. 😅

[@theMad155]

Using the tailor/cobbler is life changing! I have shoes i’ve had for 10-15 years that are still with me! I recently had to give up on my favorite sandals that i had for 15 years because the cobbler couldn’t fix them anymore and it is awful! No one is making sandals that I like. Your advice about buying jeans too big is great! ❤

[@AdmiringObserverR]

where do you find a cobbler?

[@Katerina2020]

100% this! but in some areas they are hard to find.

[@mortviolette284]

@admiringobserverr Google “Shoe repair” + your city.

[@theMad155]

@@Katerina2020that is true. And I have had two pieces that were not done correctly. But I buy most of my stuff used so the price wasn’t as big a risk and I would go to a different tailor. I live in a walkable neighborhood and the tailor I use almost always has people coming and going… so I trust that all those people can’t be wrong.

[@pamwaldron3504]

Ask your cobbler to make you a new pair of sandals using your favorite pair as a guide/model. You'll get something comfortable, unique that will last another 15 years that you'll love. Cobbler should have this skill. It's not difficult to make sandals. We made them as teens in the 60s and 70s.

[@alexandrak3861]

I think the biggest problem is actually allowing ourselves as individuals or as a species to be influenced by people who are really not happy, not that intelligent and have poor values/morality.

[@brittanies.3831]

📌

[@smirbelbirbel]

I recently went to a Tool concert, cost me 200€. Phones were banned completely for all but the very last song. There were security personnel walking around and whoever was caught with their phone in their hand (not even recording) was escorted out of the hall, no discussion, no refund. That was made abundantly clear beforehand. A few still didn't oblige. Overall, it was a magical experience that I will never forget.

[@beddythecorgi4269]

Welcome to 1998. It's a great place to be. I've tried staying in 1998 since the mid 2000s ;-) there are plenty of people who reject the modern brain rotting culture. You just need to find us out in the wild.

[@rue6914]

'05 born zoomer here. This sounds like a dream! Where tf do I sign up??

[@mcgeeak]

I've seen Tool in Michigan twice in the past 3 years, both times they had the same policy. I wish more would do this. Yes, I could easily just leave my phone in the car, except it's now my required ticket and payment method most of the time. It was so surreal to see the sea of people without little light boxes in their hands.

[@carlycaye90]

they're so great

[@j.ray555]

I saw them when they were in California last year and decided that I would try Ex for the first time since many years, and spent the entire concert laying on a blanket. I think it sounded good though?? what I can remember of it😂

[@NotPMHarper]

My partner and I regularly have this conversation about whether we are "frugal" or not. But I honestly think we just have normal consumer habits we learned from our lower-to-middle class (literal) boomer parents (thinking before we purchase, buying second-hand, buying bulk with little-to-no packaging if possible, fixing things if possible, borrowing or renting items if we can, trying to buy quality items that will last longer, preferring to shop in-person vs online) and that is juxtaposed with our Gen-Z peers' overconsumption. I feel insane seeing those "stocking" videos and thinking "does no one else think this is just a huge waste of money and single-use plastic???"

[@Katie-rq7bv]

First, you and your partner have way healthier consumer habits than what seems to be normal for gen x, gen y/ millennials, and Gen z. You are a conscientious consumer, which is rare today (for a lot of reasons). Your comment made me realize something though: For me (a chronically fatigued gen-z-er who works full time, and commutes like four days a week, living with my chronically fatigued partner) the thing that's most shocking about it is that these people seem to think they're okay. Like, I have a lot of made-for-lunchbox prepackaged foods because I literally don't have the energy to portion out food for my lunch before dragging my butt to work. But I understand my environmentally unfriendly lunches as a disability accommodation that I wouldn't need in a society where I had a real support system. I got bills to pay and barely enough PTO for traveling to family for the holidays so I just have to fake telework during doctor's appointments to address exhaustion that would probably be fixed by a 30 hour work week. It's absolutely twisted that band-aid solution accessibility products are being marketed to all of us as aspirational convenience lifestyles. You know what I find aspirational? Having the time and energy to make and portion out applesauce at home instead of buying it in squeeze tubes that I inhale during my working lunch 😭

[@Robynhoodlum]

I also have these habits that I learned from my parents and grandparents. I feel the defining line between “frugal” and “conscious consumer” is whether you “splurge”. Do you try to DIY everything or do you recognize that in SOME cases, paying a professional is worth the hassle and expertise (for instance, car maintenance or going to a restaurant instead of attempting to cook a fancy/complex/ethnic meal at home). My family taught me a lot about saving money, but they also taught me when it was better to pay someone else to do it well.

[@stepherssays]

My husband and I are often viewed as "cheap" because we refuse to buy all the latest gizmos and gadgets and wine and dine ourselves all day long. (We are DINKs.) I don't see it as being chip, but rather smart, reasonable, and sane. There is no reason I need to be out and about and spending hundreds of dollars on Amazon every month. If I can live perfectly fine not doing that right now, I will survive.

[@momoluvr123]

The wild thing I think about is…growing up, there was a huge surge in knowledge about environmental issues like the ozone, recycling, plastic and oil production, etc. I grew up with series like Bill Nye and Magic School Bus that not only made it cool to learn science but that our actions have real world consequences for better or worse. So it’s crazy to see these same people, grown up with adult money, spend that money on Amazon purchases, trendy products and overconsumption all around for things probably not even needed.

[@cesargalvan9808]

I cannot wait for this video essay. I used to be a hello kitty over consumer, but I had to stop. I am so against by now, Pay later until I was going to use it to buy a hello Kitty crockpot. Using those apps are like against my moral values that’s when I realize I had to stop with my over consumption.

[@anjelicahardinhall3349]

Team hello kitty but I’m never putting that on credit. That’s wild

[@lunarose9]

I also love hello kitty but one of the reasons why I love it is because there is so much good 2nd hand stuff out there. I find thrifting far more thrilling because you never know what you are going to get. There are also some really good hello kitty crafts, I have a few knitting patterns for example. I enjoy it because you can't hyperconsume hand knitting. It's only as fast as your hands will go (if you don't hoard yarn and only buy it when you need it), but I still get a cute thing at the end. good on you for doing the self relflection. It's hard and I wish more people thought about stuff before making a purchase.

[@anjelicahardinhall3349]

@ I only buy hello kitty things that have a function and also happen to have hello kitty on them

[@christen3680]

I know you don't have kids but can you do a video on the baby stuff industry? I honestly think it's worse than the wedding industry. I don't post my child anywhere on the Internet but social media has sooooo much crap that makes you feel like you HAVE to get or your child won't develop correctly

[@gabriellec5962]

I don’t have kids yet but very curious about this as well. Commenting to boost!

[@Draggonny]

Excellent idea. My husband's ex was a midwife so she avoided most of the pitfalls but apparently they still only used half the stuff on their baby shower gift list. They barely ever used an expensive pram or pushchair because my husband strapped the kid to his body most of the day in a sling. I have a family member who bought a bigger car just to fit their grandkid's pushchair in the boot, yet my parents could fit my pushchair into the back of a small hatchback when I was a kid. You'd not think that we'd have survived as a species without expensive products and gadgets the way they sell them in the adverts.

[@sageholla]

I don’t have kids either but I would watch this video Edit: in fact, now that I think about the way my mom criticizes my pregnant cousin’s baby shower wishlist… maybe we need this in a big way

[@EFW93]

Agree with this. We have decided to not post our child as well, not just because of creeps, but if you are not a part of her life on the regular, why should you be in the digital need to know? We only sent out picture birth announcements to friends and family that attended our wedding as we found out a month after we were expecting and included an announcement as part of the thank you, which was a lot of fun. I've fallen into the "how to get your baby to sleep"/"what is a typical day for an X-month old" and it was stressing me out until (first time mom) until I took a step back and said my kid is not the same as anyone else's and vice versa. She'll be fine. Just take her outside and see new things. That's the most important.

[@andcohen12]

I agree with this. My oldest is 10 and my youngest is 1 and a lot has changed in the last 10 years - not just in the actual baby products themselves but in what's considered a "must-have."

[@letsgoOs1002]

Went from 2 cars to 1. We replaced a car with a cargo bike. It's a great way to only get stuff you need at stores when you go shopping. You can only carry so much so you definitely double think about what is important to get. Also it's fun so you go grocery shopping 2-3 times a week to get more fresh food. It's shockingly helpful when going shopping to have a limited space. And when we go in DC we always take the metro so we can't buy much stuff for the kids as well.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

I don't have a car. I live in Europe but in a big town, 35k population, several bus routes, train, near an airport. I'd never move somewhere where I had to have a car. That's scary. I know it's different. And scale.

[@Katie-rq7bv]

A cargo bike is a great idea! I recently moved to a place with a grocery store within walking distance and have seen people around with those little wire pull carts and was thinking about getting one myself since just carrying a weeks worth of groceries would be pretty hard on my back. What kind of car do you still have? I love my old accord and will drive it until the wheels fall off but even that isn't the most practical for cities. It's crazy how hard it is to find reasonably sized vehicles in the US's SUV arms race 😢

[@Katie-rq7bv]

​@@SusanaXpeace2u in the sprawling suburbs of DC (in Maryland and Virginia), you have to have a car. Even if you can take a train partway to your destination, most of the time you'd have to bike the rest of the way which is super unsafe on our roads (separated bike lanes are rare, drivers don't watch for cyclists, and biking on the sidewalk is usually illegal). All because a few decades, ago the US military decided to invest in roads instead of trains. 🤦🏻

[@letsgoOs1002]

@@Katie-rq7bv I don't think you know much about the DC area. It's not too hard at all to live car lite or car Free

[@Katie-rq7bv]

@letsgoOs1002 I've lived here my whole life most of the time in places without sidewalks. You must not know much about the suburbs lol

[@wildmooseking]

I'm a 90s milennial and one of the best skills that my parents taught me was learning how to cook. I cook dinner twice a week, breakfast three times, and eat dinner leftovers for lunch. Not only is cooking a great social skill, it is cheaper than takeout and delivery boxes, it helps with weight loss because you can more carefully monitor your calories, perhaps more sustainable because there is less waste and you learn a new skill with cooking. I wish more younger generations would learn to cook regularly because it has only made things better for me.😊

[@artlessmonster8376]

I've been teaching myself to cook over the last couple of years and it really is a game changer, especially socially. Knowing that I have a thing that people will enjoy that I can contribute to gatherings is a massive confidence booster.

[@penelopeprimrose90]

Absolutely. So much healthier and cheaper. You can buy pretty much anything you want at the grocery store, and it will still be cheaper than eating out. Most meals have leftovers which stretch the savings even further. It is always funny to me that everyone has thousands of recipes online at their fingertips, but say they "can't" cook. It really is as simple as following directions and practicing. Most people have nice kitchens with all the latest and greatest appliances and gadgets that they paid for, but they are still choosing to eat out. That is so great that your parents taught you to cook. Truely a valuable life skill.

[@miriamrobarts]

@@penelopeprimrose90 I agree. My mom always said, "If you can read, you can cook." Now with KZbin & other online videos, it's even easier to learn to cook something.

[@hayleynoellebroders8247]

Unless you live in Australia. We have literal memes about how the famous "feed your family for $10" ads we used to run have literally no place in 2024.

[@penelopeprimrose90]

@@hayleynoellebroders8247 Interesting. I can feed my family of 5 adults (3 college age kids) for about $10 to $12 for dinner. More expensive meats might push it closer to $15 to $18. But even at that, it's under $4 per person for dinner. A fast food meal for the 5 of us would be $50, a sit down restaurant meal costs us at least $100. The savings is huge.

[@michaelschiemer3]

So how exactly can we guard against the coming financial reset for 2024 and get ready for next year Like what are really the best strategies to make our portfolio recession proof against the incoming financial reset? I'm very worried about my $110k stock portfolio.

[@Rachadrian]

Knowledgeable Investors know where and how to put money during a crisis in order to reduce risk and maximize returns. See a market strategist with experience if you are unable to manage these market conditions.

[@Dantursi1]

I agree, having the right plan is priceless. My portfolio is well-suited for any market and recently doubled since early last year. My CFP and I are aiming for a seven-figure goal, which might take another year to achieve.

[@derrickholfman2]

Great gains! Can you share your CFP details? I'm gaining more cash flow from my job and want to invest in stocks and alternative assets to build wealth.

[@Dantursi1]

'Annette Christine Conte ' is the licensed advisor I use. Just research the name. You’d find necessary details to work with to set up an appointment.

[@derrickholfman2]

I just looked her up on the web and I would say she really has an impressive background in investing. I will write her an email shortly.

[@sophiaazevedo4013]

I recently listened to the audiobook version of "Decluttering at the Speed of Life" (borrowed from my library, highly recommend). Along with assisting with your decluttering process, the book also talks about changing your mindset around consumption. Before you bring something into your home, ask yourself if you have the space for it. And even if you do have the space for it, that doesn't automatically mean you should acquire it.

[@tahinaschwegler8112]

another great thing is thinking about how much work it would be to resell said item lol

[@valeriekerr6005]

Esthetician here. I have seen clients not buy the 1 product I recomend to help whatever skin concern they have, only to go across the plaza to TJMAX to buy a huge hall of skincare product. 😅

[@Thestarrwashington]

I’ve learned it’s also much cheaper and more effective to get professional, consistent skin treatments!

[@beckapowell]

If a house cost anything like $90,000 I would already be a homeowner at 30, even if I had to put up 50% for a down payment (as I'm told was the case in the 50's and 60's). And if 30% of my income went to housing, I would probably put a higher proportion of my income toward clothing; likely higher quality pieces. Our problem is that the cost of the most expensive necessities has skyrocketed while consumer goods have become cheap and disposable via an international conspiracy to exploit workers and the environment. And it sucks that because our parents were sold houses on the premise that they were a good investment that would increase in value over time, we get policies discouraging the kind of activities that would bring housing into a price range that young professionals and young families could afford.

[@bootalophosaurus2378]

The one thing I’ve decided to allow myself to spend on without holding back too much, is flea market woodworking tools. Going to the flea market, looking at what you don’t have and whether it would be a helpful addition to your current toolkit is a lot of fun and I very much do this for a dopamine hit. It’s usually less than 5 bucks and makes me so happy. Everything else I try to deliberate.

[@erinwantenaar7206]

Damn I wish we had flea markets where you could buy tools for so cheap 😭😭

[@bootalophosaurus2378]

@erinwantenaar7206 we're talking a rusty old saw, a hammer, a wrench 😁 those tend to be cheap most places. I live in Germany but I've heard that prices are similar or better in Canada and the US. Where do you live?

[@erinwantenaar7206]

@@bootalophosaurus2378 I live in South Africa hahaha so the thrifting isn't as high quality a lot of the time for some things😅

[@bootalophosaurus2378]

@@erinwantenaar7206 that’s too bad, reviving old and broken things is such a joy.

[@sarahp3914]

This is such a great example of "balance in all things." I love it.

[@irisalexander]

i just had a "mental break down/through" the other day regarding this subject. no external stimulation gives me joy anymore like it did, mainly around the pandemic. i don't wanna buy new clothes because i know i'll forget about them and wear the same thing. don't care about buying the newest phone because there will just be another one next year. don't really care to go on social media because its just "the same things in different fonts". on one hand it is something i'm grateful for; that external forces aren't controlling my internal; but also nothing is exciting to me anymore. i should definitely get a therapist again...

[@nancyneyedly4587]

I've been there, when you realize that nothing really matters, and it may all be meaningless. The bright side of that coin is that YOU get to create your own world and decide what does have meaning for you here and now, day by day even. It is freeing.

[@heatherheath3834]

Fantastic you've realised that, now build meaning. Easier said than done lol, but start a hobby, go take classes in something, be outside a bit more and try to build up experiences. Up to you what u do but enjoy it. All the best, someone else a little fed up aha x

[@aliceh5289]

Create create create! I'm in the same place, all the stuff I used to do for fun even a week ago just feels tedious right now. But if I sit down and doodle or write or code something, I feel better. Even braiding some yarn together feels better than opening that video game again, weirdly enough. (Now I just need to replace KZbin lol)

[@lizclearman]

Be gentle with yourself. I'm in therapy right now (again) because I started feeling the same way. Part of it is I'm middle aged and going through perimenopause which causes UNHINGED amounts of rage and irritation, but I've had a lot happen in my life over the past decade with some major changes and my therapist told me it's burnout/nervous system crashing after running on adrenaline for so long. It made so much sense to me when she said it, but I didn't really SEE it until she did.

[@nancyneyedly4587]

@@lizclearman Hooboy, Liz, you could be writing my story too. The rage thing for me was a new one, but, at least for me, this did subside. The menopause transition is awful, but it will change, some things get better while new symptoms come up. Running on adrenaline in constant flight mode made me realize actually that I didn;'t need pills, I had a very valid reason for feeling how I did. (not that there is anything wrong with meds) I learned to say no a lot, set many boundaries, and built my world new to suit me and that has helped so much.

[@awibs57]

I'm glad you finally showed what the heck 'stanley cup' is. I thought that's what people won in hockey and i was like what the heck is this thing people are apparently hoarding? It's just like... giant to go coffee cups? It blows my mind that 'plastic insulated mugs ' is even a category people can hoard. Where do they store them? What do you do with all the damn ones you get for free? Its like resuable shopping bags. Every business you work for, work with, patronize, or walk by a stand for hands you a reusable cup and bag with their logo on it. Thrift stores no longer want donations of them because there are so damn many of them. And people BUY these things? They spend money collecting even more promo merch?!

[@Katie-rq7bv]

They have too many empty cabinets in their oversized houses and it makes them feel poor. Edit: And personally I've gotten to where I have more reusable bags than I need (three XL, four reusable, two small) and if I get any more I will put them into a very specific box to use as padding the next time I move (since I'm renting and will probably have to move in the next two years). After that, who knows? Maybe I'll make a reusable bag quilt like people used to do with novelty tshirts as a tribute to a (hopefully at that point) bygone era of overconsumption

[@D.von.N]

My local store sells copycats of these stanley cups for £3.99. They are huge and ugly. We as a species are doomed.

[@morganqorishchi8181]

I will forever be lost on why people who didn't know what the cup was didn't just look it up like I did when I first heard about it. Congrats on finding out after a year I guess but you know reading exists, right? You can seek out, read and obtain information. That's a thing you can do.

[@Katie-rq7bv]

@morganqorishchi8181 with most consumer trends I actively avoid explanations and think to myself "well that's strange, but it doesn't have anything to do with me!" And go about my business

[@SimuLord]

My thoughts exactly. I actually wouldn't mind having a replica of THE Stanley Cup decorating my apartment.

[@pdpUU]

As a thrifter, I clicked this in part to confirm my bias on how bad fast fashion and cheap over consumption is ruining us all. But I found your points were very relatable to me. I may not have thousands in consumer debt, but I accumulate more and more over the years from free curb finds, yard sales, and thrift stores. There’s still the joy of the hunt and the inconsistent hit of pleasure. And since these items aren’t always in stock, there’s the impulse to always stop by just in case something good came in. Also, the “well I don’t love this, but it’s so cheap I might as well get it”…can totally relate, even though most of my buys are secondhand. These past few years I’ve spent more and more organizing my clothes, searching through drawers to find where I put something, buying duplicates because I didn’t realize I already owned something… Thank you for helping me see this major blind spot in my life.

[@silliepixie]

As someone who struggles with hoarding, I appreciate that you are calling out these re-stocking videos as problematic. Thank you!

[@Anakarenocampo]

What a life changing video!!! Since I saw this a couple of days ago, I can’t unsee the consumerism everywhere now. I’m thinking a lot about my consumption habits. Thank you so much for sharing. ❤

[@Uncle_Smidge]

My one silly thing I've allowed myself to fall into is decanting (in a way that my ADHD brain genuinely benefits from seeing what I have on hand). It's largely the three jars I have for laundry stuff, and cleaning supplies under my kitchen sink. I'm constantly seeing exactly how much I do or don't have. I've done way better on knowing I DON'T need to buy more, and kept my laundry/cleaning routine really simple as a result. 🤘

[@oxigen85]

We started doing that because of bugs. Got a moth infestation so had to go airtight with everything in the kitchen. Also yes it's very helpful to see how much is left of things.

[@lb3659]

@@oxigen85I think the quality baking storage is a fantastic investment. Decanting juice and putting eggs in a fancy container in the fridge is probably a bit much.

[@oxigen85]

@lb3659 agreed. :)

[@Katie-rq7bv]

Disability accommodations are valid and necessary! I hope you don't always feel like you have to frame it as "silly" just because some people take it to an extreme

[@ashleynxo]

It’s not silly, if it helps you and you’re not going bankrupt buying containers.

[@KatieRae_AmidCrisis]

British GenXer, here. I've only seen these 'restock', etc., videos via commentaries from YT creators. It utterly, *utterly* mystifies me. Crass. Tasteless. Ridiculous. Deranged. It must be a desperate chasing-after / seeking something...? Or a desperate attempt to prove something / self-validate...? The content creators whose niche is this output are (presumably) making money from it? But their IRL imitators are just impoverishing themselves, surely...? It's also an aesthetic that repels me. But I'm someone who buys almost everything (clothes, accessories, jewellery, home goods) secondhand / pre-owned / pre-loved / whatever we're calling it. As I've got older, as I've created and nurtured my own financial wellbeing and security, I've only leaned *more* into this approach.

[@mrscrofford]

My husband owns a dumpster business. It’s heartbreaking to see one of these show up what can be in there. I’ve seen some that have about 60k worth of goods and some with tags still on it. All goes on the landfill.. absolutely disgusting. And yes I have taken stuff out in good condition and have used it and given some away. But it’s too much to keep up with. We just don’t have the space.

[@grrlinglasses]

The weirdest day in my life came about 6 months ago. For months I had been telling everyone around me I'm bored. Told my therapist there is nothing I can buy that can make me happy. It was freeing. I was confusing calmness with boredom.

[@LizCooper39]

I grew up in a hoarding house somewhere between level 3 and 5 which is the topic of hoarding reality shows. I wanted to expand a bit on the hoarding piece. Excessive collecting is considered level 1. Overconsumption is toxic to the hoarder and everyone who lives in it. It’s an addiction we can never fully quit as we shop for groceries and other necessities. Shopping is encouraged (supporting a store, stimulating the economy, etc.). It’s also scary how a life-altering event can trigger a mental illness which destroys one’s budget, home, and relationships. Sadly, the hoarder often does not see their consumption and collecting as a problem while it drains them of everything.

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

When discussing the costs of houses now versus the 1950’s, it would be prudent to look at how much the typical new family home has grown. In the 1950’s, it was common for two or three or more siblings to share a single bedroom, even in well-off homes, and a single bathroom for six people was normal. Even in the 1960’s, in The Brady Bunch, which was aspirational and featured a rich family, six kids shared two bedrooms and one bathroom. That would be considered living poor today. Now that houses that were mansions back then are normal, the costs are going up. I think it would be more prudent to look at the cost per square foot of houses.

[@catherinesanchez1185]

Good points! Look up what the Jackson Fives house looked like !

[@Draggonny]

Where in the world are you? I live in England where houses grew in the 50s and 60s as the government replaced bombed terraces with spacious council houses. New builds are twice the price and half the size with paper thin walls. They're so small they use scaled down furniture and fish-eye lenses to make them look bigger. We live in some of the smallest houses in the world. The cost per square foot over here is so terrible that people are buying bungalows (single storey houses) and building a second storey on them. We extend them in every direction, as far as the local laws will allow.

[@anthonyrowland9072]

@@Draggonny You ever watch The Wonder Years? That was a normal type house in America in the 60s.

[@Jaguardragoon]

@@Draggonnythey are speaking of North America(US and Canada) with suburban sprawl

[@thepragmaticspiritualist7074]

It's such a good point. I had 2 kids in a tiny bedroom in my tiny house until I finally moved when they were 9 and 10 but when I tell younger parents that they are shocked and say they couldn't do it. I also didn't renovate my house even though it needed it. Just learned to live with "dated" kitchen, bathroom etc but I see a lot of younger people buying a home and immediately taking out a loan to renovate it

[@Madridstrat]

I can understand people being bearish with these conditions. However, it is not reasonable for most people to sit on the sidelines while your cash position debases by 10% or more per year. What is the best way for me to avoid inflation eating up my cash reserve of about 200k while investing it?

[@TheDayTheDay312]

Inflation gives the illusion of growth. Investors should exercise caution with their exposure and exercise caution these period. See a market strategist with experience if you are unable to manage these market conditions.

[@JesseMayhill]

Don't be in a hurry to get in. The market needs several days of strong performance to signal that the downturn might be over; i think It's a time to be largely, if not entirely, in cash.

[@Frankweily]

The economy and stocks are two different things these days, but i agree, I think it's brilliant to have a portfolio advisor for investing! The market's instability makes DIY risky. You don't need to find the next NVDA to succeed in investing. I've turned 330k into $25k in quarterly dividends using a fiduciary, a major milestone.

[@Cottoncandyh]

I'm intrigued by this. I've searched for financial advisors online but it's kind of hard to get in touch with one. Okay if I ask you for a recommendation?

[@Frankweily]

Melissa Elise Robinson has always been on the top of my list. She is regarded as a genius in her area and well knowledgeable about financial markets. I highly recommend checking her out if you want excellent collaboration.

[@darinamoon5896]

I know one instance when overstocking is good idea though. I live in Ukraine, and i lived a light, no stocking life, but when invasion started, it played against me as i started running out of food very fast. So, now i am stocking on food, and energy souces. But these are necessities, and in completely unhinged situation. If you live a relatively normal, routine life, in a country without crazy neighbour, this overconcumption is complately unnecessary

[@auntiemame7076]

Please try to stay safe. Sending much love.

[@darinamoon5896]

@@auntiemame7076 Thank you. You are very kind.

[@Draggonny]

If you're preparing for potential scarcity it's called "prepping" not "overstocking". It's seen by many as somewhere on the scale between eccentric and crazy but I'll just say that I didn't go without loo roll during the pandemic nor cooking oil when the Ukraine war began. If you only buy what you'll actually use then it's not a poor investment.

[@darinamoon5896]

@Draggonny sure same thing. I was in city under siege, you in country ruled by cowards. It doesn't matter how it's called. Having 50 types of coffee, is a but much

[@rue6914]

Praying for your safety

[@advocacynaccountablity]

Er.. from an ADHD perspective, putting things like spices in aesthetic (matching, all one kind of bottle/label) calms my mind and actually prompts me to use the spices instead of avoiding them. Same for some of the containers in my refrigerator - If I can see them in clear acrylic, they are eaten and not avoided due to overstimulation. There definitely is a point where it's overdone, but used responsibly, they help a ton.

[@miriamrobarts]

Yes, there's a big difference between making things neat & useful for you in a reasonable way, and people who do it just for a video & "likes".

[@sarahp3914]

100% agree - I think the defining line here is whether someone is doing it intentionally because it serves a purpose for them, or whether they're doing it to mindlessly keep up with TikTok trends. One is healthy, the other is less so.

[@curtisbraham5309]

I play Magic the Gathering, and I can say from that little microcosm of nerdery that buying Magic cards doesn't feel good anymore either. From the constant release of sets and new cards to the continual push of FOMO from Hasbro and content creators, I am constantly pushed to buy buy buy without thought. It's all very numbing. The last 2 sets literally had cards named "Fear of Missing Out" and "Cache Grab". 🙄

[@miriamrobarts]

Good job realizing you don't need more. Keep enjoying playing the game with the ones you have & only buy a new card if it's actually something special you want. 👍🏻

[@coya8coy175]

Typically if I buy something, it’s replacing something else. I just slowly replaced all of my old cookware and ended up with one less piece in the house. I’ve finally saved up enough money to replace everything I need to (old clothing I can no longer repair, new snow boots, etc); I feel like I’m over consuming, but I remind myself that when the new thing comes in, the old is going out, and hopefully I chose good quality products I can keep for a long time.

[@dandylandpuffplaysminecraf8744]

Buy cookware at the thrift store. Copper clad or cast iron should last generations

[@CassandraY]

@@dandylandpuffplaysminecraf8744 That's how I do it! Yard sales are mini goldmines for that old yet still amazing quality cookware as well. I only buy new stuff when it's something very specific or a newer concept and even then I will haunt sales for it well before I buy it full priced. I have a storage tub of cast iron I've bought from yard sales that I might have spent a total of $200 (Over years) that is worth over $2k. Just needed some love.

[@_caryn_s]

I enjoyed this video essay and agree that feeling disgust for the way influencers market to us is a good first step. The next, I would argue, is going out into the world and investing in our own self-improvement rather than trinkets. By this, I mean, taking up a hobby or a sport or a class that focuses on creating and improving rather than consuming. Stopping binge-shopping habits might not allow millennials and Gen Z to afford homes, but it could allow us to save for smaller investments like education, artistic or athletic pursuits. Shockingly inexpensive is volunteering. Volunteering at an animal shelter was life changing for me, a dopamine hit on its own. The sense of fulfillment and accomplishment from hobbies and volunteering is more than anything shopping and consuming can provide.

[@nrkling4275]

Hobbies are so important, but they can also be used as a justification for overspending. As a crafter and sewer, I see people buy excessive materials when they are on sale just in case. To avoid overspending, I try to only buy materials when I am 100% sure I'm going to make the project. I'm not perfect though. I like your suggestion of volunteering as a hobby. It has so many benefits - affordable, builds community, and supports empathy!

[@_caryn_s]

@@nrkling4275 I 100% agree that there are tendencies toward over-consumption in crafting spaces and inclinations toward overspending and purchasing materials in excess. It's a whole other complicated conversation when the things you're buying in crafting spaces are usually produced by smaller companies or independent businesses, and there's a personal, emotional appeal to supporting those creators or keeping your local brick-and-mortar fabric/yarn store open. I have purchased in excess in the past, but never without a project in mind. I have a notebook detailing plans for projects in the future and it helps me to see that I have enough supplies to occupy my time for xyz months/years in the future, which helps to deter additional spending.

[@theConcernedWyvern]

​@nrkling4275 Absolutely! I find that it helps to buy a few generalist things and only buy specialized tools or pieces when you get more experience and find yourself actually needing it more than once. Im regards to volunteering, especially at animal shelters, it's a great way to really know the animal you want before you get one. I'm volunteering with parrots right now because I have wanted one for ages and want to make sure I'm familiar before I jump in. Honestly, saving for a pet has been my greatest motivator to not overspend or impulse buy.

[@mayhem875]

20:09 yeah, the other shoe could drop at any moment, I and most of my friends my age live with our panic vibrating in the background as we try so desperately to make it through the day. Hoping that tomorrow will be better is getting old and tiring, so we give in are considered weak for falling for the trap we were born in

[@katie_a1075]

I just rewatched an old episode of extreme couponers on TLC and those restocking video are no different than the organized hoarding highlighted on that show. It’s unwell behavior

[@Ella-g2m]

I'm glad I got the excessively-frugal trauma instead of the overconsumption/hoarding trauma. My bank account is fat and most of my cookware and furniture were scavenged. I grew up with semi-hoarder parents and an animal-hoarder grandmother and it is a very ugly condition. The aesthetics girlies are on a very bad road. It might look cute now but in a decade they'll be on the show with a rat infestation and a fridge full of moldy food. A lot of hoarders start out as "collectors" and eventually it tips past the balancing point when they can't keep up with cleanliness and organization, especially as they get older. Restockers are playing a stupid game and will get a stupid prize.

[@catherinesanchez1185]

It becomes a way of comforting oneself and when inevitable life trauma happens , they tip into the bad hoarding stage . I see it in myself , so I have to be vigilant

[@blackmber]

For all we know with social media, the “aesthetic” homes might already have rat infestations, piles of disorganized junk, and rotting food hiding somewhere behind the camera. Some level of that is normal and healthy as you live your life, and little piles of clutter gather up, a few vegetables rot because you had something else to eat, so you periodically clear them away. Rats, moths, and pests will take every chance to eat your crumbs unless you seal every tiny gap in your home, and never open a door or a window. You have to accept that risk and just be ready to get rid of them when they come in. But if all of that is unacceptable, you must cover and compensate for it by creating a perfect picture to display to the world. It’s a fantasy, incompatible with the ebbing and flowing of life. The cognitive dissonance must be unbearable, and may make it impossible to face things because you already feel like a failure as soon as one thing gets out of place.

[@dandylandpuffplaysminecraf8744]

My dad was a miser. He loved frugality so he wasn’t miserable but it stemmed from fear growing up with an unstable family situation in Northern Saskatchewan. Anyway to his surprise he died at his desk near Atherton reviewing his financial statements and left quite a bit of money to his four crazy neglected children. The story continues.

[@192daisy]

@@dandylandpuffplaysminecraf8744it’s like not one side is necessarily good. It’s finding the balance. I hope we can all find a good balance

[@K1893]

As someone living in Europe I can explain the difference in concert ticket prices is because we don't allow corporations to put dynamic pricing on tickets. Taylor Swift didn't put it on hers, but in the USA Ticketmaster could do it as the "broker", in Europe corporations are not allowed to do that, so we had the face value prices she put for her concert. PD. Also the re-releases were connected to her IP which was sold to one of her historic harassers by her old label. But I agree about the multiple versions, and though multiple version of the same album are nothing new and a lot of artist did it before her, she undoubtedly perfected and popularized it by not just offering multiple versions with different colored Vinyls but doing complete new "experiences" of the content with each version, making it feel as if one is not buying the exact same thing by changing the artwork and adding songs. Though one could argue she adds mostly everything at the same time to streaming, which is free, we can also say that the fact that she popularized the method opened the door to artist that do not put everything to streaming at the same time and increase the scarcity mindset.

[@yllwClusterduck]

I think an aspect that is important to consider here is that some of those convenience features we have now are bringing products to the Disabled community, who typically need to rely on others to bring them things. I can get my own groceries delivered, I can get heavy cat food and litter delivered, I can get hygiene products. I definitely fall into the over consumerism traps when it comes to crafting supplies and buying things on a whim, but when you get down to it these convenience services do me more good than harm.

[@jennzut4133]

As a mom to two very young children these services are so helpful to me too. As are wheelchair ramps, buttons for opening doors, etc. Many different people benefit from these accommodations and services.

[@stargazerbird]

Even living in the countryside miles from any shop having the delivery services are wonderful. Used to spend a significant amount of time just fetching things. Every trip into town was a whole morning.

[@Cowboydjrobot]

I would love to see a deep dive on how this topic affects existing hobbies and creates new ones. Like there have always been consumption hobbies like collecting stamps or figurines. But I’m interested in how non-collectible based hobbies have become tainted by that “get the photo culture”. People have huge backlogs of video games that they have owned for years and never played. People spend tens of thousands of dollars to outfit their suvs for off-roading trips they’ll never take. It reminds me of a lot of the preper content out there. They show off their huge stockpile of food and guns knowing full well it will never be used. People buying and showing off the things they bought to prepare for doing the actual thing, but the thing never comes. It’s like cosplay as an interesting person. It’s so much easier to buy ultra light backpacking gear and organize it in your garage than it is to actually hike the Colorado trail.

[@theConcernedWyvern]

This is something I would like to see as well, because I think there is some intersection between overconsumption of hobby goods and things like ADHD and "lifted kid syndrome." I personally have ADHD and I have a lot of interest in different hobbies, so I end up spending a decent amount on supplies to try new things out. When I tried resin jewelry, I got a starter kit and spent hours trying to figure out why it wasn't working until I bought higher quality resin and found out that was the issue. Poor quality products just lead to so much nonsense. Or how my father got me a whole, cheap leatherworking kit that I likely won't use half of because you really don't need many tools for it, but those tools need to be a good quality. People with gifted kid syndrome might start hobbies and become demotivated because they aren't amazing when they start, then they go out and buy more supplies or try a different expensive hobby because the dopamine hit of buying exciting new things far outweighs the struggle with their self esteem and a hobby that they aren't good at yet. I also think that "get the photo" culture contributes a lot to creative feeling demotivated and like their work is no good. I wish that more creative would show when they screw up or when they can't get something right, or when they spend way too long trying to get their piece to look the right way. There's also a lot of tips, tricks and hacks in hobby spaces that I think are a precursor to overconsumption in hobby spaces. They're snappy and interesting and promise a quick fix. It's agonizing to try and find genuine, helpful information for beginners and intermediates because it's all stuffed with quick tips and tricks that are only good in super specific scenarios.

[@trrahr5496]

cosplay as an interesting person ❤

[@amandagraham3859]

I am a quilter, and I know other quilters who buy more fabric than they could EVER use. Luckily I have a small house and one small closet to keep my supplies in, so I keep things reasonable. But overbuying for hobbies is a real problem for many.

[@darkstarr984]

@@theConcernedWyvernSeriously I have been healing a lot by reading from popular authors about their processes and finding artists I like who share when they mess things up.

[@cuttleb0nes]

This is very real with people who do fiber crafts

[@namelast440]

i'm a college student who lives with my parents and have just now noticed how much of my and their money i spend, especially on clothing, books, and things to "heal my inner child", just like you said, and find it hard to enjoy and savor everything without wanting something else, usually which i discovered on social media. I've reached such a peak of consumer exhaustion and feel quite ashamed, but i know that what i do isn't even half as excessive as many of my peers or others my age and beyond. this video was just the intervention i needed to push me despite my own resolve as of late. thank you!!

[@miriamrobarts]

Good job choosing to change your priorities and mindset. Our soul or "inner child" isn't healed by buying things. Try writing in a gratitude journal, doing things to help your parents, volunteering, do something nice for a friend or neighbor, try something creative or learn something new. Doing wholesome things is much more fulfilling.

[@frankiebabieee]

Deleting instagram helps a lot!

[@surlespasdondine]

if I managed I would get rid of youtube too

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

​@surlespasdondine I suppose the algorithms give you what you like. I'm not on Instagram because I picture it being perfect rich beautiful women with perfect beautiful expensive houseso!! But on youtube, I'm not exposed to this? So maybe Instagram would not serve this diet of perfection up to me!

[@beddythecorgi4269]

Never downloading tiktok, shein, temu etc also. We know it's all crap so just don't start with them at all.

[@morganqorishchi8181]

@@beddythecorgi4269 Shein and Temu are websites, not apps. You access websites via internet browsers, not apps.

[@xlecie]

Just deleted. I have been thinking about it for weeks. Its FILLED with ads nowadays...

[@HunnyBee-w7r]

I think that essay Merchandising the Void by Kelly Pendergrast does a lot to explain the restocking and fridgescaping phenomenon. I highly recommend it. I would try to summarize it here but don’t think I could do it justice. I highly recommend it if any of y’all have not read it.

[@nancyneyedly4587]

Well thanks for the tip, I went and had a read. The thing that stuck with me most was near the end of her piece, referencing Khloe's pantry, that it looked more like a retail environment than a home. And that is something that I see seeping into everyones lives now. The general aesthetic of most all current aesthetics is that they don't look like a "home", everything looks like a magazine (or the goal is to look that way). Your food, your clothies, your home, your vacation should all look like a brochure or a magazine advertisement, a model of perfection of a certain "look", but we are not "looks", we are not curated representations of an aesthetic, we are people. I think this is why some younger generations have a nostalgia for the past, they are just looking for a space where they can just relax away from the pressure of the next thing your worth will be judged on.

[@HunnyBee-w7r]

To me it was interesting specifically why she thought people wanted their homes to look like a retail environment: “ Something weird happens to consumer goods when you encounter them packed in a dingy brown box rather than plucked from a merchandized department store display and tucked into a shiny and embossed store bag. The glamor and vibe some branding company worked so hard to imbue is dulled by the cardboard and tape and shredded packing paper. How am I supposed to fetishize this wrinkled blouse torn only moments ago from a recalcitrant plastic pouch? I wanted to be a shopper, not a warehouse worker.” And not to mention what she says about Khloé or whatever restock influencer’s home, as displayed in their content, being essentially a retail environment, as far as their viewers are concerned, with potentially everything displayed so beautifully on the shelves or in the bins, down to the shelves and bins themselves, potentially being for sale with links in the description.

[@nancyneyedly4587]

@@HunnyBee-w7r This makes think about how the retail/shopping experience has changed in some ways, and perhaps this is why "we" want an extension on the exprience in our homes. I used to work in high end retail quite some time ago when it was more special I feel. There was a lot of pomp going into the experience of being waited on and the wrapping and packaging of the purchase, it was a "special" experience, a slower experience too. No matter how eco friendly someone may have thought of themselves, they weren't going to forgo tissue and boxing and a fancy bag to throw their $500 shirt into a reuasable grocery bag they had in their purse, that was part of the experience they were paying for anyway. And so now, referring to Paige in the video, we are settling for "good enough" in the trade off of quality of goods and experience we are maybe less satisfied. Like you referenced, the amazon delivery doesn't have the same "feel" as the one on one attention and the carefully purchased and carefully wrapped item. So the least you can do is buy your loads of Bath and Body Works and merchandize your shelves at home, feel like you are shopping at home. I find this topic so interesting. I am not pro-shopping, but working in high end retail before fast fashion came along and just shopping myself, I have seen how the shopping experience affects people differently and there is certainly a different "culture" to shopping/aquiring than years ago. I miss when people purchased things more thoughtfully, shopped less and with more intention. We bought that one good coat or bag, and it would be THE coat or bag for years and you never felt a feeling of FOMO for not getting a new coat every year. You had your one set of quality dishes, no need to have a new set every season depending on the latest trend. People have always looked for external validation, but why so much more now than in the past? Is it because we see on social media many more ways that one can be judged, and we try to meet all those targets? The answer appears to be yes. It's exhausting and impossible. The endless "optimization" of every apect of our lives, exhausting and unattainable.

[@brockreynolds870]

I don't see Amazon prime as a symptom of out of control consumerism, one thing I can tell you, is the farther out you live with metro areas, the better value Amazon prime becomes. I live 10 miles from the nearest gas stations, Walmart and grocery stores are 15 miles away. Amazon prime is a great value for me.

[@Draggonny]

Most of the shopping malls in my town are half empty with the major retailers at all price points moving away. I don't have a driving license yet. It's cheaper for me to pay delivery fees to have a pharmacy post me toiletries and medicines than to buy a bus ticket to buy them in person. Prime is excellent value for me because it would cost me £5 and a two hour round trip on public transport just to go to most shops.

[@roxrou852]

I agree. I went without it for years when living in a city. Then I lived in more isolated places where Amazon was the cheapest choice and the safest sometimes. It was better than driving 2 hours down a snowy mountain to the nearest town where I may not even find what I need.

[@nancyneyedly4587]

Amazon is our only subscription and it is well worth it. For people who have disabilities, other challenges or live remotely, you can actually save money shopping form them. The videos included are a bonus. Did you know they have photo cloud storage included with prime too?

[@lb3659]

This is so true. When I lived in a big city I never used Amazon but now I live in a college town where old navy and target are essentially the only stores for clothing. I’m finding that stores are keeping less and less actual inventory so I end up buying from Amazon or stores online often now.

[@QuestionsIAskMyself]

I think the main concern is the ease causes people to use prime constantly. We should focus on lowering the amount of stuff bought from Amazon since they are gaining horrific amounts of power.

[@Jess38044]

Yesssssss, I'm so glad you mentioned things like concerts/gigs, cafes and restaurants, and other experiences getting absolutely ruined by hyper-consumerist culture (my paraphrasing there). Had some really bad experiences with gigs and art gallery exhibitions recently - and it wasn't because of the shows, but because all of the old etiquette has been lost to the hyper-consumerist drive that was described. It makes attending an event or being part of a experience a mostly miserable affair - The hyper-consumerists are so focused on capturing footage of the event as if it's a commodity that the experience isn't registering, and the people who aren't participating in this behaviour are so put off by the ones that are that they struggle to appreciate the event also. For me personally, I've just stopped going to most things. It's not a great solution (my anxiety spikes heaps from the moment I decide on a particular experience and doesn't come down until during or sometimes even after the experience has concluded), but at least I save money, right? :/ I'd prefer to go to gigs to see people sing and play music, not witness a crowd on their phones and/or talking to each other, ignoring the stage once they've got their shot, and then getting mocked by them for actually wanting to witness the experience with my eyes. I'd like to go to a gallery to view art, not to get shoved and stepped on by someone with a DSLR trying to take a photo.

[@Creamy_Goodness]

Filling your house with random junk is trashy and looks it.

[@Isletfemme]

This! No matter how 'organized' it is, it still appears too crowded and junk looking.

[@mulalobusinge]

No wonder storage companies are still winning

[@siennahoward6957]

To a hoarder overconsumption is not "trashy" it's a way of life. Growing up in a hoarder home it is very annoying and overwhelming to be around constant clutter. That said I learned from an early age that being prepared and having things is beneficial, but you just don't have to overdo it.

[@LonkinPork]

conversely, minimalist living is - ironically - a luxury. it's a variation of the Boots metaphor.

[@chantalkennedy3649]

Yes, but when you look at how much money is spent on that illusion of minimalism it’s exactly the same as buying lots and lots of cheap things, just packaged differently. Minimalism can be just as class coded

[@siennahoward6957]

I do get very overwhelmed by all of the products. The aesthetic is nice but growing up in a hoarder house it definitely isn't healthy to over consume because the unnecessary can cloud your better judgement.

[@SilvrRazorFeather]

Even the organized excess overwhelms my ADHD autistic ass. I already hate putting groceries away, I have to restock all that product also??

[@siennahoward6957]

@@SilvrRazorFeather right

[@markusgorelli5278]

As regards house size. We were shopping around for a lot to buy. We passed by this small little gated commune. Maybe 12 lots all together. Each lot was likely to be over 7,000 sq ft each maybe as much as 10. But the lots with homes on it had enormous mansions. The net effect was that observing the place from google maps, there was very little yard space left. And the houses ended up so close to one another it was barely any different that your standard cookie cutter middle class development. 🙄

[@juliekring7574]

I hate those developments so much. How are you supposed to have a barbecue? Or a dog? How do you set up a kiddie pool or have some local kids over for a water balloon fight? If you do it in the street, the HOA president will come by with an exorbitant citation that somehow if unpaid leads to them seizing your house.

[@AgenMerlin]

As someone who has acne for a decade, this many products are not good for you, you have healthy skin. Some imperfections, scaring, ocasional blacknead, acne, and scar is normal and okay. Do not waste your money on so much skincare. I do have a skincare routine consisting of 3 different cleansers, that I use depending on why my face is hurting at the specific day, and 1 moisturiser plus 1 face cream. When my acne was really bad, I had an antibiotic liquid (no idea how to say what it is in English) from my dermatologist. Trust me, your skin is fine, there's absolutelly nothing wrong with ageing and signs of it showing on your body. These signs just mean you live and have a body, you're beautiful. Thanks for this detailed and also broad wiev on this topic, I really appreciate it. ^^

[@whattheflimflam]

I bought 2 t-shirts today. I felt guilty, but the shirts had been in my cart for 2 weeks while I considered if I really wanted them. I am really not as bad as I thought!

[@Alexas.nobuyyear]

LOVED this overview of consumer culture - perfectly illustrates so much of what I am noticing after starting my "no buy" year. I won't be consumed by my consumer habits, anymore!

[@DaphneLageArt]

The thing that gets me about the Cleantok is that since extreme behavior is rewarded, it's only to their benefit to record extreme behavior like the woman who literally takes cleaning supplies to hotels on her vacation. It's just another form of rage-bait that keeps the algorithm happy and her checks coming in. We have no idea if they really ARE like that when the camera is not on but we're tricked to think this is behavior to emulate. There is also no way they are cleaning these giant houses that look more like painfully superficially aesthetic Amazon showrooms than HOMES by themselves. I wouldn't be surprised if most of them have regular cleaning services to do everything else they're not filming for content. But of course they're not going to tell YOU that. They have to keep the illusion going to get paid.

[@anyaf4011]

I will never understand "decanting." It is so disturbing that people remove products from their original packaging - packaging specifically to reduce contamination and maintain freshness.

[@lyndabethcave3835]

I do it 'cause I have fragrance allergies and packaging will have residual fragrance from disinfectants used in the store. . . but that's an extreme edge case scenario, most people are not doing it for this reason.

[@roserowson8270]

For cupboard items it can be essential if you have pests

[@darkstarr984]

It’s an old thing though. We have a bunch of massive old jars for flour, rice, sugar, and similar items that keeps them better and will protect them in the event of having a pipe burst or a sink overflow which has happened multiple times, and which the cardboard, paper, or non-airtight plastic they came in can’t protect from.

[@darkstarr984]

As for decanting wines, there’s a specific wine spout I was recommended at a wine place because it means you can keep it better longer once opened, right in the bottle if you don’t use it all in less than a week.

[@monicagim2506]

So... I started using YNAB, a budget app, a few years ago and I am certain it helps me not to overconsume to these "aesthetic hoarding" levels. It would be very clear to me that a lot of my money would be going to "stuff" and not to more important (and more expensive) goals like having money to visit family in another continent next summer. I am still tempted to buy stuff all the time and I admit I spend more on clothes than what would be ideal for my personal goals. But at least I am able to visualize very clear what I am doing with my money. So that's one thing we can do on an individual level. At the same time, I think we need to work on a collective level to change this culture. The fact that we keep shopping shows that we as a group are unhappy, disconnected from each other, and trapped in a vicious cycle.

[@MarenWilliams-oc8hh]

I had the opposite effect growing up poor. My mom would tell us- you don’t need it. And I believe her. I enjoyed a few shopping sprees in my 20’s, but never went into debt. Now in my 40’s & downsizing the amount of stuff I have, this marketing seriously does not work on me. I still don’t need it!

[@ThatgeekNolan]

My mom had the coolest tailor, when I was a kid. I vividly remember her taking fabric or clothing to her, to get it made/altered. Not only was this woman a wizard in my eyes, but she was a friend to so many people and visiting her made the experience of getting new clothes feel really special.

[@kayleeslater6345]

I thrift all of my clothing, getting higher quality items with lasting materials for a fraction of the cost, and always take them to the tailor afterwards. Classic, lasting pieces perfectly fit look so expensive and really hold up.

[@ckm1371]

Hahaha as a swiftie I agree the rereleasing vinyls trend is so wild and wasteful, her merch makes me worry about the supply chain too… but the rereleasing of old albums is a whole different thing to these two very valid criticisms (and there are many more valid critiques to be made)… criticism shows you care and you’re not afraid to hold people to a higher standard also. It’s important. I went to the eras tour but as a European we have more laws keeping venues / concerts more affordable and stopping the resale market so it was spenny but not as insane as in the states. Also I didn’t mind the addition of the new album… it must get boring performing the same thing for a year, so I get it 😂 On the decanting of laundry / food stuff. It’s so important to mention that often this damages the effectiveness / storage of a product. R&D is a huge part of packaging and keeping goods like tide / Ariel pods smelling good and being effective. Decanting juices can just introduce bacteria to your juice…

[@Forceprincess]

I'm only at the beginning and I am nervous about the taylor swift criticism. It's not the first time it's come up. I'm wondering if I still need to watch this channel.

[@Iamliterallythatgirl]

She really hasn’t made enough money? Taylor’s destroying the planet with her jets and merch releases single handed but her fans are woke right 😂

[@annapetryk]

​@@Iamliterallythatgirlit's the same with all those pop prophets. They give you nice sounding slogans and life recipies while enjoying their life. Because they can, because we sponsor it with our own money 😅

[@fchow7132]

I'm a Swiftie but agree about how the way she releases merch encourages people to collect and over consume. Why else would there be so many different versions of Midnights in vinyl? And you put them together to make a clock... clearly giving a reason for people to buy 4.

[@jasminejanisch4566]

I completely agree! Definitely a swiftie and I went to the tour but I haven’t boughten any of the vinyls because I don’t have a record player?? I have a few pieces of merch but I completely agree that the constant barrage of merch/cds/records isn’t good for the environment and I chose not to participate as much as possible

[@TheSimArchitect]

When you spend your resources purposefully it's very rewarding. More is more when there's no redundancy, in my humble opinion. When something is (actually) necessary or useful, you usually feel good about your purchase. When it's voluptuary, you will just get a hormonal reward short term followed by a hangover and regret over your expense, specially if it impacts your financial security. Same with food. It's not without a reason your channel's name has a parallelism 😉 I am glad people are moving from extreme minimalism (which can be VERY wasteful as people dump what they have to "have more joy" only to repurchase items afterwards) to purposefulism.

[@Shizu_Kare]

These videos of yours are incredibly educational and well put together. I'm pretty young, and luckily haven't fallen into these pitfalls of consumerism too heavily, but I've definitely been plagued by it to some extent. As you said near the end, I am never far off from falling victim to more of these predatory practices enticing people to throw away their income and have their life be dictated by hyper-consumerism. I keep watching content like this to keep myself on the right track, and I'm very grateful for channels like this that cover topics like this in abundance with both empathy and professionalism.

[@SlateBlueC4t]

41:52 Let's be real. Old people are often ignored and have no place in our society. We also hear how easily some men (and maybe some women) change their partners only because those got older. Also, having your body always in pain because people are starting getting different illnesses because of age is highly unpleasant. It's things like that. That's why everyone is so afraid of getting old

[@Smithpolly]

Age will have an impact on everyone and with the best will in the world, sometimes good health is just about luck of the draw. That said, a lot of the illnesses that we consider a natural part of getting old today have more to do with people living sedentary lifestyles and eating foods that are not good for them and lack of sleep.

[@SlateBlueC4t]

@@Smithpolly Totally agree

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes

[@turtleanton6539]

​@@Smithpollyyeeeh

[@elizabethswanser8117]

There is something to be said for convenience and people with disabilities. Having groceries delivered, shopping online, and other modern marvels definitely make my life easier. And going from relying on friends to shop for me to just being able to pay a small fee and have some control over my life is intoxicating. It definitely caused some euphoria based over spending. The reasons behind hyper consumerism aren’t just psychological, but they can have roots in physical disabilities and a previous lack of access to basic necessities. We have a world set up to get people from all places in life sucked into consumerism. It’s taking the place of community support.

[@elizabethcohen1035]

OK, that advice about buying jeans a little bigger so they can be tailored is just totally awesome. I never thought about it that way! Thank you!

[@theodoravellum4589]

I am a size 10 in the waist and 14 in the hips so I have been doing this my whole adult life out of necessity! It is great.

[@ToriHiragana]

All of this is so alien to me. I'm 35, live in a modest apartment, debt free, no subscriptions, bought my car with cash and have a huge house down payment in the bank earning interest. On a 45k salary. People have been tricked into flushing their lives down the drain for tiny bursts of dopamine.

[@aubreejobizzarro1208]

The concept of restocking and owning more stuff will somehow make you more organized is so silly because the cleanest houses I’ve been in are fairly minimalistic!

[@stuntmonkey00]

Taking bets if the words "hedonic treadmill" make it into the video!

[@elainaswanson4364]

Once I started to buy a few things from Amazon I became so aware that the quality of objects, clothing, etc… was the same everywhere. I don’t even know where to get slightly decent bedsheets that dont cost an arm and a leg

[@pwood6532]

Target?

[@justkilledit]

I get mine from vinted, I select new and unused, they're often unwanted presents

[@sarahp3914]

I've gotten beautiful, quality sheets that are practically new at second hand stores. I wash them in a nearby laundromat before bringing them home, and then I wash them again at home. Good as new for pennies on the dollar :)

[@maceyjohnson6035]

I absolutely hate clutter, so every time I buy something I do a mental check of where it’s going to go in my small, 650 sq ft home. This stops so many unnecessary purchases because I realize I don’t have a good place to store nor do I want to reorganize around the item.

[@junahn1907]

Perhaps I have just aged out of the target demographic, but every time I walk through a mall, the only feeling I have is "this is not meant for me".

[@digthewarmth]

☹

[@freespirit-111]

Likewise.

[@alizackrone2995]

I think theres also a big difference between genuine restocking of every day essentials like toilet paper & shelf stable ingredients, and “restocking” of nonessentials for aesthetics first and use second.

[@miriamrobarts]

I agree. There's nothing wrong with bulk buying, & filling a cabinet -- if you're actually going to use it before it expires (and you're not overbuying during a shortage).

[@Iquey]

Sleep is the last bastion of anticapitalist chillin , because uts sonething your body has to do that require you to do nothing but sit still, close your eyes, lie down and breathe. Only until very recently it wasn't being colonized by extra accessories to buy. (Kind of like how bathrooms are the last bastion of privacy in public space) And other than a bed , sheets, blanket and pillows, maybe an eye-mask and earplugs if it's somewhere brught and loud, i aint buying extra stuff to add to my face while trying to sleep.😂

[@SXJAYSX]

I recently fell into the skincare over consumption wheelhouse. My recommendations: Follow actual dermatologist - at least 2-3 Follow an actual cosmetic chemist scientist - dermatologists are not cosmetic chemists Follow 2 influencers tops with skin similar to yours and that often say phrases like "you don't need this to have good skin" or aging is normal or words like graceful/gentle aging instead anti aging. Once you start picking up on the kind of words people use, whether consciously or not, to manipulate you into feeling one way or the other, it gets a lot easier to swift through the BS. My routine right now is extra but I really enjoy the process and the time I can take away for me at night to pamper myself. Now that I am at a point of "enough" steps I only get something new to replace something I've run out of (either the same product or a new product that would serve the same purpose) Even this all this in my head is still hard to not see a new suncreen and be like ohh I wanna try that 😪

[@beddythecorgi4269]

No. Stop "following". The end. Period. Your skin is not meant to have a ton of chemicals on it no matter what a dermatologist or "influencer" tells you. Stop using all crap and your skin will be better. Cut it all off and watch yourself live free. Cutting down to 2 or 3 influencers is like saying you'll cut down your cocaine habit to juat a few bumps.

[@loveyb9090]

I'm getting into skin care and this is what I don't want to do. It's our bodies and we have to learn care for them especially if we have acne that's hormonal. Dermalogica is pretty simple and easy. Paulas choice too. Ppl who do skin care glow literally.

[@CassandraY]

99% of modern skin care is snake oil that hasn't been proven to do any of the things it claims. Why bother spending thousands on something that probably isn't doing anything more for you than a regular lotion? Just go to a licensed dermatologist and call it good.

[@Zezeze.]

There are three methods that work well for me 1) no online shopping, only in store if possible 2) only paying in cash, not with my card or any other digital payment method 3) waiting at least three months to get smth bc it makes me lose interest, making me realize i just wanted it bc it was a trend, not a need. If after three months i still want it i will think about what i already have at home that might solve the problem. And if i dont have smth else then it is ok to buy it as long as the price is reasonable too.

[@aferalcat9732]

Buying nice things once in a while is what makes them specific and special to you, because it is once in a while and you were looking forward to getting it or need it. Getting it all the time will make your wallet cry, and boil it down to something more like an addiction or chasing fomo. The buzz fades until the next new peoduct trend sets in, and then buy buy buy.