World Leading Relationship Therapist: Why Your EGO is RUINING Your Relationship! | Esther Perel

[@JayShettyPodcast.]

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[@dubatransport4545]

Is a shety podacast 😮

[@ravensridgeInn]

❤

[@GoldzenJuLz]

🎉 24:24 wow, insightful and helpful this is so helpful thank you infinitely

[@CustomizedFocus]

I am choosing to make a positive difference in my Life thank you for this Thought leadership. ❤

[@reabetsoengwepe3718]

Jay pls get Tyler the creator on your show,mans a genius.

[@gunarasnaca6130]

“Every choice comes with a loss” recognizing and allowing the grief is the key to life and a shield against depression!

[@sandimacleod6205]

😮

[@sherryp3411]

Duality...it's the nature of life

[@rubenstlaurent913]

Well said!!

[@denverlender]

Love this

[@neidabarco7052]

“taking responsibility is liberating because the only thing you can really change is you” so good!! 👌

[@michelleveloni1329]

Agree

[@RakeemDixon]

I made some errors throughout the last year of my 5 year relationship all of which I took huge accountability for however it wasn’t enough to save the relationship

[@chestermijnals6914]

Two minutes into the podcast and I know this is going to be one of the best podcasts in a while. Every word Esther Perel utters seems to contain wisdom.

[@antonietamunoz532]

I felt the same exact way!!

[@Higherheightsgroup]

I feel the same! 😮😊😊😮

[@valvrj]

Sharing the same feeling!

[@Quadrye]

Literally was gonna comment that!

[@JB89_]

And I love her practical, brusqueness! ❤

[@jimmyz5831]

"One person is more afraid to lose the other and one is fighting for their identity". Wow. Always seems to be one wanting the other more. Really need some more on that subject. Great show.

[@leahross75]

I loved this statement too. I wish we could have her speak direct into that more

[@Cassandra.143]

She does. Watch her older you tube videos from 5+ years ago

[@ZanelePule]

There are lot of speakers who speak on concepts such as finding your identity and building your own personal security before engaging in interpersonal relations or rather doing that whilst navigating them. I personally think works by Lisa Nichols as well the late Stephen Covey can provide insights into that.

[@dazednconfuzed6]

Attachment theory is that: people are either avoidant, anxious (and an intense version of both, less often) or securely attached. Sometimes we can flip flop, in different relationships, or even within the same one. 😅❤

[@giuliamadoglio9492]

"Why are you not competent so that I don't have to feel so helpless?" This applies to so many work situations as well!!

[@theroadie08]

I had a pretty upsetting argument with my girlfriend of five months, and it caused me to wake up at 4am. Somehow your interview with Esther popped up in my feed and I've been watching it and taking notes. I felt like I was losing my relationship with her due to the deeper self-evaluation we are having, and now I'm realizing a whole lot more that I need to work on with myself and with her. Thank you so much

[@MajICReiki]

Great insight ❤ keep up the good work! My first time seeing Esther and she is very informative.

[@davebalmada]

She’s lucky to have someone that’s interested in learning and curious about these topics. All the best!

[@Lalallalu]

Synchronicity is real - the helping hand from God / the Universe! 🌟

[@twonrichpo]

Awesome bro

[@CHERYLSTOWE-qm9id]

Yes I went to fight mode because he wouldn't put me first. He wouldn't take his x amongst others, off phone he had rather have them . I was heart sick as his wife to not be first. Then he said he blocked but he did not as I found out and he left because I wanted him to remove them he lied and left shortly later .

[@MC-Jean91]

Esther Perel is the best therapist out there. Every podcast or TED Talks she gives is a mind blowing and frontier breaking experience. I learn every single time new techniques about relationships and all in all about life. Long live Mrs. Perel

[@viorelparvan557]

Beautiful said Esther! "Self Confidence, self-worth is seeing ourselves as self flawed imperfect people and still hold ourselves in high regard!" - It’s about understanding that our value isn’t solely determined by our achievements or external validation. Embracing self-worth involves acknowledging our humanity, learning from mistakes, and appreciating our unique qualities.

[@ConciousConnection369]

I agree❤

[@LushBlish567]

We are often drawn to a person who brings characteristics that we are trying to get away from. Such a beautiful perspective

[@Wawasabih]

This woman is on another level of wisdom

[@nandamaharjan2985]

Let’s take a moment to appreciate Jay’s expertise, wisdom, knowledge, honesty, humility and ability to be vulnerable. He is inspirational 👏

[@InternationaLChefSue]

"Listen more than you speak, understand more than you know and be present"

[@Tattedboricua]

💯👏🏼

[@williambenson7197]

I would love to see more podcasts addressing mental illness in relationships. The same approaches and philosophies are not applicable. But many of us still desire a loving relationship.

[@neogbfe3587]

I agree, I have experienced many partners that want to build a relationship with me. However, trauma, past addiction and anxiety has been a constant concern. I have no issue with putting my concerns out there, it’s just that partners don’t try to understand me, when they have expectations and are in so call love.

[@ilovehim1995h]

Because mental illness is also part of taking responsibility. It’s not your fault but it’s your responsibility

[@aaroncarvajal3386]

​@@neogbfe3587 This is one of most important tópics that should be touch on this kind of Potcast... Good comment 😊

[@homenepal4516]

I agree. Since the relationship I'm in, many time I have anxiety attack because he don't understand why I behave or who I am because of my past experience.

[@JessicaVie]

I suffer from BPD, so it's not as easy to follow what seems so straight-forward relationship advice (or at least I think so). My perception is different than others, but I still want my feelings to be validated, yet I fear being vulnerable because I experience pain much more than others, so this is a constant point of contention for me. I support the request for additional information on mentally ill or neurodiverse couple relationships!

[@zaleemu]

The insight of this woman is unparalleled. Such a privilege to have access to her thoughts

[@Monas99]

well said, it's truly a privilege to listen to her wisdom. thank you Jay for interviewing her.

[@Cherrydearie]

I feel exactly the same way.

[@ruizisaac7395]

she is really the GOAT of relationship psychology

[@wendythiel2059]

She is so clever and assertive..not to mention beautiful too!

[@galaxythree4653]

I have been impressed by Ester's insights for years. This is what relationship therapy should look like for anyone seeking help. Too many times you end up with therapists who apply personality lables and place blame. This is why most therapy in the U.S. ends in divorce. Thank you for showing people a great example of what help and reason look like. Frustration, fear, confusion, do not need personality labels and medications. You need insight and logical changes you can apply to yourself.

[@rachaelfilla5555]

14 mins in and im weeping at my desk. So relieving to hear language given to confusing things

[@katherinebaker1177]

Yes!! I’ve been searching the internet for so long trying to use the right words and was getting very discouraged only to find this video and feel the confusion being met with something tangible that I knew HAD to be out there somewhere! 😂

[@whatsnext2359]

Btw, I agree with you 100%. Eat, hang out, then do the dishes. We often host gatherings at our house, and I always wait till the end of the evening or till the next morning to do dishes. I don't feel that it is good hosting etiquette to do dishes while our guests are here. Nothing says the party is over and pack up like doing the dishes during a dinner party. I also want to spend as much time as possible catching up with our guests and I certainly want them to feel welcomed & relaxed while at our place. We actually used to hang out with a couple that would invite us over for dinner quite often, and we would help them prepare dinner, and clean as we cooked. They would rush through eating dinner, then get up and start clearing the dishes while I was still eating. I would shove as much food down as I could, as I felt rushed. We would then wash, dry and put away every last dish, followed by cleaning the kitchen in detail before hanging out. It became too stressful & unenjoyable, so we decline dinner invites unless we're eating out, or we're hosting. 😅

[@TheKimieD]

Having lost a deep connection at the time this podcast was released, I couldn’t get myself to watch it. I waited. I’ve recently reconnected with the person who I believe is the love of my life and watching this fuels my strive to be vigilant in fighting for a relationship and person I believe in. Thank you so much 🙏🏽

[@evaevaevaevaevaeva]

I don't know why but I have been feeling really sad today, overthinking and dwelling on things I shouldn't. Watching this episode has really lifted my spirits and turned sad tears to happy, hopeful ones. Thank you Jay and Esther for a nourishing conversation 💗💗

[@FlowersandSun22]

Do something kind for yourself today. Go buy yourself some flowers. You deserve to be happy💐 try to sit in those moments more often

[@evaevaevaevaevaeva]

​​@@FlowersandSun22Thank you so much for taking the time to write these kind words and suggestions. It really means a lot. Wishing you lots of happiness 💗

[@lynda2844]

Ahhh we all feel sad sometimes 😢 I’m glad you felt better after having watched this podcast. I have been bedridden for the last couple of days and just took a covid test and waiting the 15 minutes for the results. You are not alone. I hope your sadness passes soon and you are back to your old self 😊

[@geetarambaran9164]

I feel the same..in a place of soul searching..this conversation needs to be on repeat..

[@sallybayubay5556]

0

[@Followtheflowers]

I really love any time someone lets Ester Perel guide them into her world of conflict resolution. Brilliant.

[@Mushroom321-]

Yes!!🎉🎉

[@senamelaku3832]

"My life is so important. Thank you for understanding it."

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@joannm5981]

I didn’t want this talk to end. It spoke to me in so many ways and came at a perfect time.

[@LisaGemini]

She is so wise. I remember Oprah used to say that when you're fighting with your partner, it's never about the dishes in the sink. So true. It's about being respected and valued. My dad used to say when you get married, you're also marrying their family. By that he meant you need to compromise with them and their beliefs. It's great Esther is coming out with a Conflict course. Lots of people need to know how to handle that!

[@christinaroma9905]

Having Jay and Esther together i was fully invested from the first minute One of my favourites I love Esther’s passion There is a lot more freedom to change yourself

[@awilliams8988]

This is the best conversation about relationships I've EVER heard! I can totally relate to everything as it relates to my husband.

[@patrickdavid6525]

Truly in tears by the end of the video. Such a reflective experience. So powerful and liberating. God bless you both.

[@adnesavchen1549]

Love Ester Perel and how she approaches every problem makes it easy for other people to understand a relationship from where we stand. Both of them are so brilliant.

[@lesw3803]

Because I have gathered that it is very difficult to change your relating/attachment style outside intimate relationship, I decided to stay and change myself. It has been five years and a lot of introspection, observation (being the watcher) and growth. As I changed, sadly, my partner dug in his heels. I’m now in the future home planning stage and very excited about it.

[@lavendertwilight08]

I really love this. I'm in such a rough patch with my relationship. There is so much good but navigating conflict we are both HORRIBLE at. Binging these has really helped me see all the things I can change and improve or for myself before accusing my partner of the same things I'm doing right now and break the cycle

[@chanicest.hilaire7679]

Great realization.

[@jessicacelia5097]

love this, hope it works for you.

[@erindabney2758]

From what ALL of my therapists told me, if there is any difference in values or beliefs, or as soon as there’s ANY turbulence in any type of relationship, it’s automatically over and not worth trying. This is how I ended up alone.

[@charmyni8847]

Are you happy?

[@grat2010]

Esther Perel is the best! I will have to rewatch this several more times for all the little pearls and gems that get dropped throughout. Thank you Esther! Thank you Jay!

[@GeorgFKalandra]

me too... ;-) she is really the best

[@paulariano334]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[@MathiasSchreiber-y9p]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

[@paulariano334]

amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?

[@MathiasSchreiber-y9p]

His name is Fatherabulu , and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@MathiasSchreiber-y9p]

His name is Fatherabulu , and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@paulariano334]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked he up now online. impressive

[@cataliu]

I was a little bit over the relationship podcasts, but damn Esther always has some new insights that blow my mind away.

[@sidharthasatapathy3491]

We can have many many love stories with different people. But we cannot have life stories with so many people. There are very very few people with whom we can spend our life with ❤️ Loved that❤️ Romantic consumerism is another thing that u heard for the first time, how social media is fooling people, spoiling their lives, guys don't just use social media for fun, use it less & use it for growth.

[@sakrypapilon1320]

Love love Esther Perel, she makes it so easy to understand relationships and is almost very accurate with most information. The best of two!!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

agreed! ❤

[@joesmitt8943]

Hello I was just scrolling through the app and I got a psychic divination about you "you are still in love with someone, who you think doesn't love you back" I'm I Correct?

[@mavenowa]

Nope

[@ForeverMindStory]

Mind blown by the depth of insights in this conversation with Esther Perel ❤🧡 Who else feels like they just had a therapy session? ~ ⭐Forever Mind Story⭐

[@theresas.3808]

I sure do! I’m taking what she says for self examination in my relationship with my partner.

[@rosiemetha1413]

Rite

[@GodzWillProducer]

Definitely.. I'm confused at a certain part. She says don't have a checklist of what you want in your partner, but then she says to look for a partner that will be good for the "life story"... so which is it? Don't have a checklist, or do? I have a checklist, but it's based on what I learned in past relationships, what I know I want in my partner to fulfil my life purpose. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

[@mavenowa]

Watch this again...listen

[@JessicaVie]

You are both incredible! I could watch a conversation between you two for another 10 hours. The way you talk, the attentiveness, the eloquence, the thought exchange... Truly beautiful! Thank you! Please give us more 😅

[@Akira-rr6tc]

Going through a breakup heartache. This is just what I needed

[@jenniferruiz2245]

Me too girl. I am praying for you.

[@anac5544]

I'm praying for both!! Grief is the hardest thing! But is not impossible!🩵🙏🏻

[@therohan2550]

Share this to my girlfriend also . She also got heartache today.😢😊

[@Apeksha_Banodhiya_All-zx4kp]

Healing thoughts to you...

[@pauladircks5225]

Sometimes we think that what we want to create together has to be built and finished.. but being in a relationship is a process of building. The higher commandment is to love others as yourself. Not more, not less, but " as".. therefore, we never stop or finish building in loving ourselves. Love is not a lesson, but a learning process that makes you alive

[@noahrasheta]

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 💑 *Esther Perel suggests that we are often attracted to people who embody traits we're trying to escape from, urging us to question whether we're looking for a love story or a life story.* 00:13 🔄 *Conflict can be turned into connection. It's not what you fight about, but what you fight for in a relationship.* 01:21 🔄 *Making a decision to stay or leave a relationship isn't always straightforward. It's not about absolutes, but about the ability to hold contradictory emotions and realities.* 02:32 😥 *Esther Perel uses 'grief' to illustrate the inherent loss in every choice we make, navigating the complexity of the aftermath of a break-up.* 04:38 🔍 *Building a relationship is about taking accountability, not just asking for change from the other person. Changing oneself can often impact the dynamics and elicit change from the other person.* 09:55 💥 *Going beyond the surface of arguments is crucial. It's not what you fight about, it's what you fight for that matters.* 10:24 🎭 *Every relationship has to straddle sameness and difference. The goal is not changing the partner, but expanding one's own perspective and allowing the other person's influence in.* 11:47 💡 *Reality check: taking responsibility is liberating as it enables us to make changes. We hold more power to change ourselves than to change our partners.* 17:36 🪞 *People tend to think that when others mess up, it's a reflection on their personality; but, when they mess up, it's due to circumstances. Regaining curiosity about ourselves and others can prevent this misconception.* 18:19 🔁 *Understanding that what we're really dealing with in conflicts is usually the fear of loss - either loss of the other or loss of ourselves - can help us shift from being reactive to reflective.* 19:19 😂 *Humor can often help defuse conflicts, serving as a reality check around trivial disagreements and preventing them from escalating into serious fights.* 22:24 🤔 *When dealing with frustrating circumstances, it's important to not blame the other person if you're unable to get the desired result. Handling frustration together can prevent unnecessary conflicts.* 22:40 🗨️ *Sometimes, external frustrations can be projected onto our partners. It's a unconscious way of feeling less helpless - blaming someone else instead of seeking understanding together.* 23:20 💔 *It can be upsetting when we try to open up about our experiences, only to have the other person use it as a chance to talk about their own issues. This tends to devalue the original person's feelings and experiences. * 25:36 🗣️ *Communicating in advance about stressful periods can help manage expectations and prevent misunderstandings. * 26:42 💞 *Gratitude can powerfully shift your perspective during stressful times. Recognizing the support from your partner and expressing your thankfulness can make them feel valued and appreciated.* 27:50 ⚖️ *A small tweak of acknowledging the significance of the relationship and the other person, rather than focusing on yourself, can shift the power dynamic in a relationship.* 30:22 📚 *Using various mediums such as books, movies, songs, and poetry can help in expressing the unsaid emotions and experiences. These can be especially helpful when struggling to delve into past traumas.* 35:00 🎭 *Doing new things together can breed excitement and desire in a relationship. It evokes a sense of mystery, risk and curiosity.* 38:01 💔 *Breaking up or being broken up with can cause a sense of endless longing. It may feel like you'll never move on, but recognizing that we all grieve in different ways can be a helpful tool in healing.* 43:52 ❤️ *Our worth is not defined by those who hurt us or choose to leave us. The true victory lies in our ability to love and trust again after the hurt.* 44:19 🔄 *Yes, it's possible to rebuild trust after experiencing infidelity. For this process to be effective, it requires multiple stages: expressing guilt and remorse for causing hurt, taking responsibility to protect the relationship, and making meaning of the affair, including understanding what it signified for all parties involved. * 49:20 🎢 *The journey of rebuilding trust after infidelity can be complex and involves developing a vision for the future of the relationship. It may even result in the end of one relationship phase but the start of another.* 51:51 ⚠️ *Feeling devalued after a betrayal is common, but it's crucial to challenge this narrative by creating new bonding moments and reclaiming value in the relationship.* 56:14 🌀 *Dating in the modern era is often driven by a form of "romantic consumerism," leading to unrealistic expectations. In the quest for a perfect partner, one can overlook the value of a good potential partner.* 57:21 📖 *Consider potential partners as complex stories rather than simple checklists. A genuine connection often grows through interaction and shared experiences, not instant emotional combustion.* 01:01:04 💡 *There's a distinction between chemistry for a love story and chemistry for a life story. Many individuals can provide a thrilling love story, but only a select few can offer what's needed for a shared life together.* 01:05:08 ❣️ *Choosing a partner for a life-long relationship entails more than just intense feelings of love. It requires shared values, compatible worldviews, and the ability to navigate life's complexities together.* 01:06:31 📈 *Establishing an idealized checklist for the perfect partner can be mentally taxing and it erodes one's self-esteem. Reevaluate such standards and appreciate the journey of finding a suitable partner rather than the pursuit of an unrealistic ideal.* 01:07:12 ⌛ *With age and experience, perspectives on relationships and choices evolve. Therefore, it's essential to periodically reassess relationship expectations to align them with your evolving life circumstances and personal growth.* 01:07:38 💭 *The pursuit of perfection and the continuous self-evaluation can lead to a feeling of 'not enough'. This crisis around self-worth often comes from a constant desire for more.* 01:08:35 💖 *A life story is an evolution of self-evaluation. While choosing a life partner can end the process of self-evaluation, personal growth comes with more self-evaluation.* 01:08:47 ♾️ *Committed long-term relationships may be societal constructs, but they still have inherent value. However, this value is largely determined or influenced by cultural factors and individual preferences.* 01:10:22 📚 *The notion of marriage and long-term relationships are evolving, much like how stories can be short or long. It's helpful to be open to diverse and creative relational arrangements that do not conform to traditional norms.* 01:11:03 👥 *Current long-term relationships tend to bear a lot of weight due to high expectations, which can sometimes be crippling. The longevity and soliturariness of these relationships makes it crucial to bring in other contributors, like a community or village.* 01:18:09 👫 *Having a partner who can challenge and criticize you while still showing love and care can contribute positively to the relationship. It speaks to the value of having both tensions and complementary qualities in a relationship.* 01:20:28 💡 *Self-confidence comes from seeing oneself as imperfect, yet still holding oneself in high regard. Depending too much on the idea of perfection can erode one's self-esteem.* 01:21:20 🤝 *Our need to protect our identity and ego might prevent us from allowing our partner to influence us. Accepting influence is not a sign of being a pushover but an essential part of being in a relationship.* 01:24:52 🏠 *A relationship requires co-creation and building a new 'home' together. Idealizing this as a process of bringing together the best bricks from both partners' homes can bring a sense of unity and agreement in the relationship.* 01:25:49 ❤️ *Often, we are drawn to partners who exhibit characteristics we are trying to get away from. This dynamic can serve as a grounding force in a relationship, promoting growth and self-awareness.* Made with HARPA AI

[@planttrees2238]

Thank you

[@yanakogan7289]

I just finished Esther Perel’s book ‘Mating in Captivity’ , and this is such a great add on to relationships perspective. ❤

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@AliceWarnock]

A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me , I really love him so much I can’t stop thinking about him , I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated , I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here , I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him

[@AliceWarnock]

Interesting , how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how can i get in touch with her?

[@AliceWarnock]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@skyislight3804]

Is it a him or her 😂

[@covertperspective]

Botty bot bot bot

[@Coloradom3]

Sucks they not bots in here preying on the heart broken

[@Gabucha888]

Heard the whole interview. Which actually felt very honest and fascinating on how you two open up their own emotions to all of us. Beautiful minds.

[@ryanud97]

I wish I had seen this video sooner. Just broke up with my girlfriend and I'm filled with regrets. My ego did ruin my relationship and I relate so much to this podcast because whatever that was discussed could have been applied to my relationship. It spoke wonders to me and I have somehwhat a mental clarity now and I just wished I could turn back time and fix things.. I still love her and I hope to better myself in hopes that if we ever get to cross paths again, I'd better handle the issues and make her happy again. Thank you for this, Esther and Jay!

[@libbyschaefer7745]

let her know, why not?! You never know! I'm the internal optimist! 😛good luck! 🥰

[@mutlah]

Her happiness is not your responsibility.

[@sophiashekinah9872]

This may be the single most impactful relationship discussion I've ever heard! I think I need to listen to it a few more times, and find ways to implement these insights in my friendships until I get into a romance again.

[@AmaranthineIntrigue]

I always love listening to Esther. What a beautiful mind and heart. I would love to talk to her for a while.

[@melaniefox-smith8776]

What a gem Esther Perel is. I am so grateful that she is educating the masses.

[@lhawangdorji6718]

Thank you, Jay, for bringing her on this episode. Listening to both of you felt like an enlightening experience. Ester Perel is so generous and energetic. Just loved her. I will never be bored of listening her. Love to see her again. Thanks!

[@aliciacromer7830]

This was a breakthrough 15 minutes in for me …this spoke to me more than my own therapist ! Wow ! I❤

[@ameliacarter4376]

WOW! this lady is a genius! Love her!

[@FolkOutThere]

I totally get Ms. Perel here. I actually was a lot like her when I entered my first relationship, with zero experience. Strangely now I see signs of negative perspective corrupted my own mindset. This was a helpful reminder that its about the approach to problems. Its not the problem itself. If you focus on an equation thats impossible to solve without looking at it as an opportunity to learn, it will be unsolvable. We get in our own way a lot of times... and get distracted before getting to the end result.

[@hope-sharma]

This video is soooo important. I sooo needed this. I've been trying to work through my faults and project my love, fears & complaining in a better way with the person I'm in love with. We're both hurting ourselves & each other, despite being deeply in love. 👏🏼👏🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@josephinewanjiku7406]

Such a powerful conversation. Thank you Jay. She truly is a wonderful therapist

[@SharonneK]

8 mins in to the podcast and I think i've absorbed more information than other podcast videos - just shows how educative and informing this episode really is. I've been a fan of Esther for so long and to have Jay showcase this to his millennial & possibly Gen Z audience is such a gift in a way because Esther is such a master in crafting and detailing her 4 decades worth of knowledge to a language that today's audience could digest.

[@taiwoosanyin5751]

This is quite an amazing message. So many great points delivered explicitly. I hope to come back to this and realize how much I have grown.

[@deltabravo4589]

I have not been feeling ok lately. Listening to this podcast made me feel like I could breathe again. Thank you for bringing clarity and new ways of understanding the loss I am dealing with right now. I will listen again because I want to make sure I don’t forget any of the amazing points Esther brings up. I want to hear more from this lady! She knows her stuff🤯👏👏

[@jodiroberts9728]

Esther Perel is just beautiful-I’m always so impressed by her depth and the way she expresses the views. It’s always so authentic and even if it feels like a hard point of strategy for me, for everyday life, things I need to change, she makes it seem doable. She’s lovely.

[@thatdevika9377]

Important takeaways: -"People are looking for divine experiences from their relationship with people like they are some kind of God." Don't expect Utopia in relationships. Stay real in -person. - "if you want to know the real side of someone, put them in a social situation and spend time with them there." Even if they're introverts, staying close with them in social situations will unveil their real personality to you. - the "spark" you seek with someone doesn't have to look like the euphoric experiences they show in movies. It can be unglamorous, simple.

[@oyoboloomotayo389]

Thank you very much

[@JettePorrazzo]

Everyone will benefit from watching and listening to this ❤

[@АлександраГончаренко-и9ю]

Jay, I want to thank you for putting out incredibly insightful content in simple words, without complicated terms. English is not my first language, but I understand perfectly everything you discuss in your podcasts with your guests, it's very valuable.

[@satishmeghavvarnam1269]

@24:00 Meditate everyday and this will put us in a place far away from the domain of complaints. @27:00 Gratitude: Always be thankful that your partner is there for you. @1:05 Love Vs Life: Great Meaningful insight. @1:23 I applaud #EstherPerel here. It is indeed a fact that as we grow older, our maturity and lifes experiences makes us only flexible. And if the person has humility, it is even much better.

[@shanzaasghar2974]

I am glad I turned on this podcast it's so worth watching.❤

[@francesbeth2077]

First start with two mentally healthy individuals, healed of past trauma. I like her saying life story vs a love story. I always wanted the two combined. Impression s as opposed to a realistic evaluation of life together. The talk reminds me of a passionate Elise Keaton and her explanations on life, where she is always giving insightful teaching. I am always learning and relearning about what true love is.

[@vunenenthani6640]

I truly love Esther, Like Wow I never get tired of hearing her.

[@jessicacelia5097]

It all sounds like just common sense, but the way Esther Perel described it all gives peace to my head that it's normal for relationship to have major differences. Yet we focused on the "different things" instead of the "feeling" behind each other's POV. Will try to apply it, thank you Esther Perel, I understand why you're a World Leading Relationship Therapist. Thank you.

[@stanzinnubu.spituk]

Related to every single word in the conversation! I hope whoever is seeing it after getting apart from someone you loved. You will be healed n something good is waiting for us! Stay blessed keep fighting

[@patrickdavid6525]

Jay Shetty says I feel like I have found the person who has hepled me continue self evaluation in a way I would have avoided with someone else or I would have tried to avoid with multiple love stories whereas this life story that I have with my wife currently is just the most purifying and cleansing detoxifying proces internally but in the most fun loving and caring way and I look at that and I think about that often where I think to myself I would have had to learn this with anyone but maybe that someone else would not have been able to challenge me the way that my wife does with the lack of criticism, complaining and judgement without humiliation in a safe place with humor. There are so many skills that I have now just because of her bringing the best out of me. Me : Lost for words. Wow.

[@WombatPants]

This was so good. Especially @09:05 How to Turn Conflict Into Connection. Really helpful to me and helped open my eyes even more. It's something I plan to share with my wife too in hopes that it will help us understand each other better. Your podcast and guests have a huge ripple effect and help a lot of people. Thank you!

[@Lauryelis]

I recently ended my relationship. I made this decision because of his actions, just this one action it seems so difficult for him to change or even believe he does it. I love him with all of me. He has amazing qualities. In a yr we really never argue we had conversations when things were different/difficult and came to terms to fix it. I saw a video of him and It broke me, he apologized and I still made the decision to ended it bc I was hurt, I think I made a mistake. My emotions and feelings had the worst of me and now I have hurt him and he wants time. I want to grow stronger and wiser and be more and better partner for me, for him, for us but am so scared now that it won’t be possible. 😔

[@Gaitini]

She’s the best! Have heard these answers before in other talks but it’s always so good to be reminded 🙏

[@elifnurbyrm]

Greetings from Turkey! You inspire me a lot, a lot, a lot in each second! I wanted to add that, in Turkey, traditionally, people meet each other at weddings or funerals. :) Everybody is aware of this, and some volunteers (elders) want to bring single people together who look similar in their perspectives. And now, especially for a reasonable number of the Y generation, it feels like this is a more confident way to meet someone than looking for them in the apps even though this is a bit shaming for them to run their relationship in front of the grand families eyes. However, this is a huge paradox that, this technology also helps elders to share rumors faster than before, and young people never want to take this risk :)

[@QueenOfSwaur]

reciprocity , intelligence of heart equal give and take . True love and communication with no ego is the key and unconditional love ❤️ too and forgiveness and if it's toxic leave it .

[@omargalvan5865]

Wish I would have seen this video when it came out. Could have probably saved my relationship at the time. Yet, i’m glad i saw it now it has really changed how i see relationships.

[@lilywick3398]

When I first started listening to this podcast, I didn’t realize who she was. And then I heard her mention her book The State of Affairs, and then I gasped because I realized it was THE Esther Perel!

[@Visionstovisuals]

This is one of those video i would watch multiple times because it encompasses so much knowledge on how to better understand your and your partner's perspective on the same situation or just why relationships don't work out in general

[@okolokoP]

I was thinking the same thing

[@RussianMasterClasses]

Dziękujemy.

[@lee5918]

Always love hearing Ester Perel talks. The words she said are insightful and helpful.

[@coreana.aesthetics]

This is the best podcast ever I heard about relationship management.

[@bonzvon6620]

ADORE this episode, I am sure it speaks to so many people and it surely does to me, the way you are both expressing yourselves so intelligently and soulfully is wonderful to witness

[@dominikdostal2847]

This is just... wow! I have no words, perfect interview with true expert. I really enjoyed the whole video without skipping any parts!

[@clovawolfe6830]

I totally agree that we have to create our own belief system in our relationships. Hanging on to the way our parents, grandparents, and ancestors did things thousands of years ago will not work. This podcast is full of helpful info and is very therapeutic. Thanks!

[@HomachiFortune]

I am blessed to watch this podcast at the right time. The wisdom and advice from Esther and Jay is amazing and I am so grateful to listen and Learn

[@Shin04-j2o]

We need more podcast like this and we need more human being like her.

[@LinaMarcela]

Love this lady, she is always light!

[@melissaborderie07]

Esther is really one of a kind. Never disappoints. What an amazing podcast ❤

[@Tallulahswonderland]

The way that Shetty deflected her recognition of the fact that Jay framed his problem in a term that shows his need to have power and she literally asked HIM if he can feel confident even without trampling somebody! We must go within to recognize the mirror and be willing to honestly address a persons question of our character.

[@GodzWillProducer]

Been listening to Ester Perel for years. She is awesome. great wisdom

[@KiciaKocia88]

It is very uplifting that an expert on the case of our crazy behaviours also has them ❤😂

[@KarimKarim-xy9py]

This lady is phenomenal.

[@galynakim3452]

She is so good. One of the best podcast 👍🌻 I am so glad people talk more about mental health and relationships now. The only hard thing for me is to listen to Shetty. Most of the time he doesn't relate to situations he asks. For ex, he most of the time almost always referring to friends experiences, which is ok, but then he is like I would do differently like I am better than them. Or like in this podcast. oh, it's not about me it's other people doing this. He wants to be always right. And sometimes he sounds judgmental of others.

[@monaperry2635]

The circumstances determine a lot whether you leave or stay especially in relationships that have alcoholism or addiction.

[@mavenowa]

Find an AA NA CA meeting..get a handle on reality....

[@staycalmandcarryon6970]

I loved this. It was great. She is so masterful. OMG I am in awe of her knowledge in her world. Jay, I can see throughout the session she was able to enlightened your thoughts on certain matters. Well done for bringing her to this platform!

[@Ryna1205]

Our House Our house is a house we built together We have laid every brick one by one We have nailed every board one blow at a time Our house is a house we built together Every board is not perfect some are not straight Some walls are built in the wrong place We must carefully remove those boards We must carefully remove those walls We must rebuild them in the correct place We must replace each board one by one Until the holes are all closed Until all the walls are in the right place When we finish we can stand back and say This is our house, a house we built together Jamey Einrem

[@ruthsharuz8384]

I'd listen to Esther Perel all day everyday. Thanks Jay Shetty for this.

[@jewellawrence4516]

Wow, what a phenomenal episode! I shared this with three people before even hitting play because I just knew it would be impactful. The wisdom and the approach of looking through the lens of empathy towards your partner really shift your perspective. The advice about avoiding direct personal questions from your partner's past, which often lead to them shutting down, and instead, using other avenues of interest like film, music, poetry, etc., was revealing regarding patterns I've unknowingly followed. When I lacked the vocabulary to express my traumas and painful experiences, film was something that conveyed what I wanted to say more clearly.

[@manifestwithnaayantara]

What an insightful, uplifting podcast!!!! Two powerhouse minds in one space, sharing knowledge, love, wisdom! Thank you both ❤