WOW..I'M SPEECHLESS | Rapper Reacts to Ren - Su!cIde (Full Analysis)

[@KnoxHill]

EDIT: So apparently after my interview with him he went and wrote that last verse. Incredible that our interaction could lead to such an emotional and amazing piece of art 🖤 Also if you like the song in the intro & want to support the channel check out ‘Help Me’ now kzbin.info/www/bejne/o4malqingK6dnas

[@gorranalmanya]

greetings from Germany super content, love your authenticity sorry for the question, but: where is your wife from?

[@phillipstrauss6269]

Can we ever expect a song with you and Ren on it?

[@primitivedogs4638]

Sam Tompkins answer you two. his new song: Time will fly.

[@primitivedogs4638]

Ren broke a taboo tonight. The use of the word suicide. Now it will be easier to use the word.♥ Ren gives strength

[@SamRansome]

Raw emotion in the form of art.. as a mental health nurse this hits in a slightly different way, but that last part broke me 😢😢

[@charliebradbury3450]

The only way to watch a new Ren video. 1. Watch Ren 2. Watch Knox, watch Ren 3. Re watch Ren with new understanding

[@NYandAZ]

That’s exactly what I did.

[@Delllarove]

that's definitely how I feel. I'm excited for him to react to Troubles

[@nathanwoodard8687]

Nah, he pauses way too much

[@Miss_Renae_Author]

Okay. But this is exactly what I am doing right now lmao

[@Jordan-xq6yq]

@@nathanwoodard8687 he does but it's so everyone understands. I love Ren but i never fully understood the depth of his skill or meaning of the lyrics till Knox fully explains it. Gives you a new perspective on the song.

[@GoodGirlGone]

Thank you for your reaction. He said in later interviews that the interview with you moved him to add this last part to his song.. he said he just sat in front of the piano and this all just fell out of him.. so thank you for asking the right question.. as I think he needed to get this out.. and this just makes this song that extra bit special ❤

[@greenmonster4918]

You beat me to it. 😉 I couldn't stop listening to this over and over to take time to post.

[@freddyhochauf9489]

Wow

[@rileyzoinks803]

hey! possibly would you be able to link or let me know what interviews he talked about this in?

[@GoodGirlGone]

@@rileyzoinks803 he mentioned it in both the Rosalie and Black Pegasus interviews and I am pretty sure he mentioned it again in yesterdays live

[@WelshAmethystGirl087]

He did mention it in all of those interviews

[@AKA-kp3gd]

"I'm not crying you're crying" Bro were all crying

[@MissMeKate]

You inspired the addition to this track. Ren said that your interview was the first time he has talked about Joe in a long time, and he added that end section to the track afterwards. He had felt like it wasn't finished but you helped him find the end.

[@davidbrant6725]

N1 Knox

[@Xaviere47]

Came here to comment this... Wasn't sure if Knox was aware... Love to all

[@andrewbothwell6963]

Ren ripping out peoples hearts yet again.

[@Jos-mc8lx]

...with every song 🔥

[@TwistedReality13]

​@@Jos-mc8lxforeal.. Ren is out here changing the game

[@AndaraBledin]

He's not ripping them out... ... he opens us up and then hands us our own hearts, letting us know that it's ok to let people see our feelings - it's ok to be hurt and it's ok to let other people witness that.

[@1diagram]

And Knox breaking it down beautifully.

[@Ibis-of-Equilon]

Yep . Some people are too scared to feel. So he's just like. "Oh well I'll embody it for U so it's safely in your face , how about dat "

[@periurban]

We’re going to have to start treating Ren as a modern treasure. If we value Shakespeare and Kubrick and Dylan; if we think of the great singers who bypass all our barriers and hit us right in the heart; if we thrill to the performances of Freddie Mercury and Bowie; then we have to recognise that in the damaged body and brilliant mind of this young man we have elements of all of them, and he is here right now. Not some lost mythical figure from the past, but a living person, fragile and needing our understanding and patience. But a towering genius of the type I have never seen in my near 70 years on this planet. We can’t confuse the swaggering popinjay of Animal Flow with the struggling human of Hi Ren or Suicide, but we have to see them all and hold on to the man as he shoots through the creative skies on a trajectory to who knows where. Wherever he lands, Ren is changing, has changed, the lives of those he touches with his music, his words and his amazing videos. In this broken and difficult world that’s not nothing. That is probably exactly what we need, and there are a growing number of us who love what Ren does, and love the man because of what he does. Powerful, powerful stuff.

[@michalvictoria8846]

Beautiful. Thank you.

[@Apollo.Rising]

Beautifully said.

[@jonathankall3062]

❤❤

[@Connie246]

Feeling that truth.

[@wolf-kissed]

Felt that ❤

[@corinnelabita]

This is my favorite thing about Ren. He gives everyone permission to dig deep into their own vulnerability as reflected in the raw emotion in his music. Excellent excellent reaction as always

[@autumngrubb1468]

Well said!

[@josho8888]

this would put perfectly how i feel out him and his art . nicely said

[@Atilakus]

You absolutely nailed it. You hit that feeling perfectly. Sometimes I just use Rens song like a therapy. Just let it go, tear my eyes until they are dry and feel lighter on the otherside after it all goes away.

[@jsims44]

Hearing Ren get emotional while singing that verse honestly hits me harder than the first time I saw my dad cry when I was young

[@denalinde]

I saw my dad cry the day of his father’s burial & it shook me forever. It was the third burial in the space of a month, the first ironically my young cousin’s suicide. We’d never said “I love you” that I can remember, but we started doing it then, kind of by unspoken mutual agreement in our entire family. It’s never stopped & I’m grateful that we started outwardly valuing each other from then onward. 💜

[@jsims44]

@@denalinde that’s a beautiful and tragic story. I’m glad your family grew closer instead of the opposite. I feel like many families experience the latter. ❤️❤️

[@paulh8829]

I cry in front of my children. No shame in crying, open up to your children.

[@jsims44]

@@paulh8829 oh I’m with you brother. I can’t get through some Disney movies in one piece. I’m an open book

[@zachhenderson7982]

​@@jsims44 same. They always kill off the parents in the beginning

[@AntonioDuran-m8i]

That speech at the end… is as naked and vulnerable as one can get. It hurts just to feeel his emotion. Big props (and hugs) to Ren

[@karenmccabe2167]

I was full-on ugly crying while I listened to this earlier in the car. I was listening with my 17 year old son that struggles with mental illness. It was a powerful moment for us.

[@kazpwright]

❤

[@rebeccapotts409]

❤

[@brian_db]

Thank you Knox. This song reminded me of a friend I lost to suicide. I saw him hours before his death. I never thought he would take his life. Time has numbed me, but after this song, I see the whole night again. Now I am going through my dark times, trying to hold on in this narcissistic world. Ren painted it so well.

[@KnoxHill]

Brother I am so sorry to hear that. I cannot imagine the thoughts and emotions you’re dealing with. Just know that over here I appreciate you. Always good seeing you comment and be here. You’re so positive and I appreciate the energy man. Take care of yourself and here’s to the light on the horizon 🙏

[@JanTJaeckx]

Hold on to what's good brother, even though there's seems to be no hope there's always music. ;)

[@Brathole]

I am a person in Recovery from addiction, and I lost so many friends throughout my life. Many to suicide, and many due to overdose. I was on the phone with my closest friend when he overdosed and passed. I know the darkness that comes with addiction. I had become very numb to all death, so I feel ya when you said what you said. Ditto.

[@wendeogden1930]

Knox and Ren - You are both amazing artists. Thank you for all that you do. ❤️ ❤

[@merlinsan4959]

I lost two of my closest and dearest friends to an avalanche (at the age of 19) and I still vividly remember how I interacted with both of them at the same morning telling them to enjoy their tour not knowing that it was going to be the last time I’d see them

[@psych04student]

Anyone else watched Ren's release then came staright to this channel to watch Knoxs awesome reaction? I feel like i wil forever being doing this now!

[@jjfurbable]

That’s exactly what I did lol

[@kerimccabe2931]

I always do

[@Musiklife.9049]

Of course

[@tattoodude8946]

Ren does it again. This man is not only saving music, he's saving us as a people - allowing us to be honest and reflect on our humanity without shame... finally...

[@ty666ty]

To think that this song would only be 2:24 if not for your interview with Ren making him think about Joe. The reason it's so disconnected from the original part of the song is because it is completely separate, all because of your interview, he explains this in an interview with Rosalie Reacts.

[@SykoNerd]

i cried! The "late like i jerk" line killed me! It's an amazing song. Love ya Professor Knox! ✌️🖤

[@DjTiesticles]

I've been through the whole of Ren's back catalogue and I can honestly say that this is one of his best songs. So thankful that I found Ren.

[@Tessietots]

You are by far the best reactor I've come across. Thank you for analysing and breaking down Rens Art, Music. I absolutely love him. He has touched my soul.

[@im2yz4u17]

My partner died of lung cancer at 49--just recently. Like Ren, he suffered horribly. With pain, opiod abuse as a result and the horror of radiation and chemo treatment, he suffered. He was too perosnally strong for suicide. He took a great deal of anger out on me and I let him; I was his only outlet for the anger and pain, at least when the drugs ran out. The doctors did not care; they just performed and were paid. Me and the dog, we take a walk every day and stare at the clouds, wondering if my friend is staring back down at us.

[@teresas8173]

What your partner went through is extremely sad, unfair and makes one question the point of this life. Why all that suffering? Why do some die in such a way? Why do some die so young? Life is truly unfair. And I am sorry for your loss. I would never say RENs friend was not strong. I’m not sure but it seems his friend suffered from depression or some mental ILLNESS and suicide can be a literal and deadly side effect of mental illness. So although you couldn’t see his friends illness, he was indeed quite ill. As sick and in as much anguish as someone with cancer or any other life- threatening illness. Depression, bi- polar, schizophrenia , etc. can cause great psychological pain. It can distort your thoughts and actually make you want to die and very prone to suicide. Why people think those that commit suicide are not strong is wrong.

[@DGTLCLANGAMING]

@Teresa S It always bothers me when someone dies of an illness and people say they "lost the fight to cancer" or whatever but when someone commits suicide no fight is ever mentioned, as if the person woke up one day and decided that was it, rather than every day prior than that being a struggle to stay alive that they'd won. As if every single day isn't a war within your own head. As if every time you walk past oncoming traffic you don't have to win that argument with your mind that things would be easier if you just launched yourself into it

[@rexrogers1859]

Thank you Knox. Beautiful song and reaction. Ren is family. Heartbreakingly beautiful

[@tominey]

Man, it’s like your breakdowns are becoming an essential companion piece for every release Ren brings out. It’s the first place I come after I’ve heard a new tune.

[@emplula]

Soo true!

[@terrillcovey2652]

Same

[@jodiwest3534]

He's the bar surgeon lol. I do exactly the same and learn so much more from it

[@Parula06]

What a heart-wrenching gut punch of a song, I was crying hard by the end. The self-blame and grief that one carries after a loved one's suicide is hard to bear. One thing, once you've been through that experience, you somehow never find the right moment to do it yourself, no matter what dark hole you're in -- you don't want pass on that horror to the people you'd leave behind. Ren's openness and vulnerability is so powerful. What an incredible artist.

[@scoutbane1651]

Please don't generalize. My one attempt was done a year and a half after my classmate's suicide. We all process these things differently. I never wanted to hurt people in that way either, but due to not having any support system and being a consistent victim of abuse throughout my life, a stressful life event coupled with everything drove me over the edge. I suffer from a whole slew of mental disorders, including BPD. It's gotten much better since this event, but... that was my lowest point. My wake-up call. I got abandoned by the longest... "friend" I had at that point, because she didn't communicate how the expression of my mental illness affected her, and instead just got distant. I was already in a very very bad spot, including the self-blame from the classmate's suicide, and feeling abandoned to that degree, that somebody I cared that deeply for would rather throw our friendship in the bin than communicate... it broke me. I tried to talk to her about it, as I had been clearly trying to mend our relationship for months seeing that something is up, but she just refused and told me we aren't friends anymore. After that I... just felt a numbness, a fog in my brain that I haven't since but makes me shiver every single time I remember it. I couldn't see anything in front of me, my mind was blank except that vast emptiness, and one thought. Just one. How badly I wanted to escape the hell on earth that felt like had been specifically made to torture me. I didn't want to die, and I didn't want to hurt anybody by going that way. But I just couldn't think about anything else than how much I needed to escape. I was lucky to have been caught by an actual friend completely by chance as I was walking down the street, and he *knew* something was up. As I didn't communicate anything and just kept walking past him, I think he felt it. He followed me, and as I was about to shut the door on him, he forced himself in. I was already pretty drunk at that point, so it wasn't hard for him and another person to subdue me, and just hold me on the floor for more than an hour, as I begged them to let me go. I will forever be indebted to that friend. Even if we've mildly lost contact, I tell practically every person about how great of a guy he is, not even just for that one event but in general. We come from different worlds, but I couldn't have been more lucky to meet a person like him. And no matter how much we lose contact I will always call him my friend. Because he really is one. But yes. My point is please don't say things like "once you've been through that you will never x". You know we don't all experience things in the same way like that, and its honestly pretty hurtful to read as someone who did do that. There's many people who do it after having their loved ones do it.

[@Parula06]

@@scoutbane1651 Hey, thanks for the reply. And my apologies, my phrasing was clumsy. I was extrapolating outward from my own experience and that of several other people I know in similar circumstances. But I do know everyone's experience is different, and that suicide can even run in families (Kurt Cobain, for example), and I shouldn't have spoken in absolutes. What I was trying to say is that experiencing the suicide of a loved one can give a unique and powerful insight into the trauma it creates, and for some, like me, that acts as a preventive. Even when I got to such a dark place that for myself I really didn't care if I lived or died, knowing first-hand the wreckage such a decision leaves in its wake was a deterrent. It was my father who killed himself, and I had to come to terms with it all on my own decades later as the entire event was absolutely off-the-table unmentionable within the family. I know that self-blame well, it's brutal. In my experience, Ren's point about relaxing and getting gentler with oneself really helps. It takes time and practice for me. I'm truly glad you made it through, and so glad that angel-friend was there for you. It's amazing the difference one person can make. But it was you who saved you, too, once you came back into yourself with the help of that friend. Stay strong, friend, and peace be with you. ❤

[@scoutbane1651]

@@Parula06 Hey, thank you for sharing your experience too! I appreciate the well thought out answer, and I understand more where you were coming from too. No hard feelings. I know you didn't mean anything bad by it. It was at worst a mildly clumsy phrasing on an emotionally charged topic, sometimes that can be triggering but that happens. I probably wouldn't have even been triggered by it if I wasn't going through tought times (partially related to the subject at hand though I don't feel to comfortable going into details) for the past few weeks ^^ Much love, and peace be with you too ❤

[@greenliter1]

@@scoutbane1651 I hope you are doing good now. I recently crashed back down into a major depressive episode (last 2 months) and I’m still kind of in the middle of it. I’m so glad that you’re here today. I was on the path to suicide myself before my friend that I’d gone to school with did. I just saw so much of myself in him. He truly was an amazing person. But he didn’t see it for himself. He had friends who cared about him but one event happened when he was at his lowest and he needed an out. I wasn’t like the rest of the people there who were angry or confused. I knew what it was most likely like. But seeing how many people he effected made me sit back and think that he could have made a positive impact on so many more people. And since he and I were very similar in core values, so could I. That was the moment where I started questioning if I actually was valuable, despite the messaging I received consistently from a very young age to even now from parents who are supposed to love you unconditionally (I will never know what that’s like from my parents) and after 4 years of complete and constant battling in my head and denial, telling both others and myself that I was fine, my fiancé left me and I went to therapy where the trauma ball was untangled bit by bit. I miss my friend and I want his 6 year suicide anniversary to come and go quickly, because the days leading up to and the next few days after are horrible. That’s when all the memories flood back. I think the point I was trying to make is…words will not properly describe the gratitude that I have for the fact that you are still here and that I am still here.

[@BallisticAero]

This hits so hard.... Inescapable is the cancer of "what if's?" a moment in time that ended for one but burns the soul of another for eternity. As a 29 year old man I definitely shed some tears on this one... this one hit deep

[@samueltanner4666]

crazy how could you leave us vibes at the end with the raw crying. Had me almost sobbing at the end

[@GarnetJ]

This song was deeply personal and I’m so glad he added the last part. As others have shared, he said he was inspired to add it after the discussion in your interview. He hadn’t allowed himself to fully process the pain, loss, and regret. Although I wish Ren didn’t blame himself, I understand 😿 I can’t even imagine the sinking feeling knowing you were only minutes too late. But then going for days working with those who were leading the search and rescue. The loss is terrible, but not having closure makes it even worse. But since he’s heading to the UK to film a video for Money Game 3 !!!! He will stop in Wales and give the Anglesey Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI) a check of funds he raised from donations and from any money he made during the premiere. I believe he will be able to spend some time with Joe’s family as well. So hopefully this will all help him and others heal. RIP Joe ❤

[@charliebradbury3450]

I'm so grateful for your reactions. I watched the original video and knew you'd help us break this down and appreciate it on a deeper level and that you wouldn't make us wait long. I'm going back to give Ren views cuz this song is amazing but you are so appreciated! 💜

[@joquail000]

Knox, you are without a doubt the best reactor to Ren’s music, you point out things that I don’t even notice. You & Ren are both super talented and deserve every success. I’m so sorry about your friend who passed ❤

[@andRubymakes2]

You never know what Ren is gonna bring, you just trust it will be good & it is always brilliant. 🖤🖤🖤 I love all the attention you give his work 👍🙏 Sorry for your loss & your end message was perfect, much respect 🙏💖🇬🇧

[@shawnchapdelaine2089]

REN is what we need in this crazy world of ours.....ren brings people together.....i love it

[@nrsvlda70]

I watched this on REN’s channel.. cried. Watched here.. cried - again. He’s a word magician. I hope Ren feels us all lifting him up so he can keep his light shining for us all to dance in! Thanks Knox, for helping me better understand both words and musical techniques.

[@indiafox5786]

I watched so many reactions, and I'm still crying. His words just hit you so deeply. He's a wonderful human being 🖤

[@Creepy_Lorax]

It's tough to think that some of the best songs ever made came from the deepest, darkest emotion. Thanks to Ren for and other artists for dredging through to provide their art.

[@death2foolz182]

Saw you in the participants and knew you'd be releasing soon. He really knocked the message out of the park with this one, and I'm sure he did Joe proud..

[@AlexMH1991]

That was such a powerful song, it brought me to tears. I wasn't expecting something so raw and vulnerable but man it did hit me hard. Ren is incredible and always surprises us. It's also so brave of him to put out something like this song. Thank you for your analysis as always Know, you're amazing as well!

[@martinpalmer6203]

Lost my Brother to suicide when I was 18, the feeling of "what if" or "if only" or "i was going to but it was never the right time"... Ren hits on all of the things I know people who are left behind go through. For me it was like the lights were switched out for the next 7 years. The impact of a suicide cant be overstated. It took me a lot of self reflection to finally ask myself... what did he mean to me, what did he do for me that i'd become so broken when he was no longer there. For me it was because he was my big brother, he drew me out, he encouraged me to go places and do things id never have done for myself.... THAT is what i had lost... and once i realised it and admitted it... I was finally able to begin to recover... but those feelings of "if only" or "what if" never go away. Its been 31 years since he died, ive missed him ever since.

[@mojowebs]

I watch a lot of reactors. Knox, you’re hands down the best deep dive reactor on KZbin. Props bro.

[@PeteyyPorker]

This is why i always Jump straight to Knox's reactions, never misses. Great job man! This song hit me hard, I'm still trying to process my emotions after listening to this for the first time. Thank you for this Knox!

[@georgettefusco5969]

Just seeing the look on your face as you listen to this is impactful. Ren is so very amazing. Ren and Knox Hill ,Thank you for sharing your humanity.

[@lizterzian6239]

Beautiful song. Beautiful reaction. Thank you Ren and thank you Knox. Ren posted shortly after the interview you did that he went back and wrote that last bit because of talking with you. “If everything is set in stone then this is how it’s ment to be”

[@rachaelk3988]

You got to this one quick, Knox! A true Ren fan ❤

[@julihouser7468]

Yup! I was thinking the same thing! We just know Ren is going to bring it, that is why we rush to be one of the firsts.🤩

[@rachaelk3988]

@@julihouser7468 yep. We set all our alerts anticipating any release. Watching reactions. Ren And Knox really need to make a song together. Bring in Chinchilla...that's a powerhouse. I think they would all work wonderfully together!

[@primitivedogs4638]

@@rachaelk3988 The south Korea wonder: Stray Kids, - They are 8!!!

[@julihouser7468]

I don't have words, I just know it gave me the feels! Thank you Knox for another good breakdown!

[@helenajrgensen3157]

Ren has a tremendous ability to touch us deeply. He is immensely strong in his courage. The courage to be so personal and let us in. I shed a tear the second time I listened to this one - and now with your reaction, it's the fourth time I've heard it and cried. This is a fierce release. I have never seen or heard anything like it. It's beautiful, it's raw, it's terrible - and it's real 💔😪❤

[@LHartman-gj7dl]

🖤 This ^^^

[@pauletheringtonbeattie7451]

I'm happy you let the last part play. I think we all cried. This is the most powerful music i've heard. Ren just gets better with every song. Love your breakdown knox..you pick up on everything

[@patriciahowland9186]

Omg I still can't stop crying. That was so touching I felt his hurt. I really felt his hurt. Dam he's been thru a lot. At such a young age. Thank you for the breakdown of this song Knox. As always you do a great and wonderful job. And thank you Ren for trusting your fans with all of your story. Love you❤😢

[@TheRealityleak]

My favourite bit of this reaction is you not pausing through the gut punch last section. Thanks for having that sensitivity. Ren's a genius. It's that simple. His vulnerability he wields like a weapons. I've got tears in my eyes writing this. Great reaction!

[@Paul-Gleave]

In a genius and understandable kinda way Ren set you and us up a little here by doing the interview and telling the story of Joe, that ending hits totally different now knowing what we all know. One day Ren may stop impressing me but it is not this day. RIP Joe and anyone else this song may remind people of.

[@pankofritz]

When i really started thinking about he different imagery of Ren's Face throughout the music video and you pointing it out, i feel like the changing Expressions and illustrations could show the permanent presence of those thoughs no matter how he looks or feels on the outside.

[@Singlespeedjo]

Thank you for this beautiful reaction Knox. Haunting, sad and art are perfect words for this.

[@Zinetha]

Thank you for the words at the end of the video. This song took me to some very dark memories in my past and you said things I really needed to hear right now.

[@janiceN4Nugs]

The double dutch reference is a British term google came up with: INFORMAL•BRITISH language that is impossible to understand; gibberish. "instructions written in double Dutch"

[@ericstevens1979]

Ren don't miss. Another heartfelt lyrical masterpiece.

[@diamondflaw]

This song is rough to watch for me (in a good way). The closest I came to going through with it I had a surreal disconnect from the world being real, my body felt like a puppet I was dragging around, it didn’t even feel like it would be killing my self, it was another thing, not even me. This video nails that feeling.

[@nightshade7240]

When you don't sleep for days, when you miscount sheep, you become dissociated from reality and from your sense of self, especially if you are also experiencing something like DID or OSDD. To me, it seems that the constant shifting of appearance is representative of losing your anchor to reality. Being without sleep for extended periods can be like taking hallucinogenics and the world becomes more sinister, more dangerous because of your lack of ability to effectively react.

[@rgCA_01123]

How you pull so much out of such depthful art so quickly is truely a gift, Knox ❤ Thank you for taking us on another insightful Ren journey. You have a brilliant heart and mind ❤

[@bonniewood5286]

Knox, I found you through Ren and I’m thankful for that. I’m almost seventy, been a rock and roll lover most my life. Could never understand rap and it’s appeal. I found Ren by accident last May and have gone through his library of amazing stories. He reminds me of a bard of days of yore. I’ve fought mental illness most my life and he expresses so eloquently the thoughts I’ve had through my life. Your reactions have helped me understand rap so much better, the way you’ve broke it down and shown me what to listen for and how to take it. Thank you for your intelligence and insight, to be honest I always felt rap was for delinquents and people who hated the world. Ren and you are showing me that there are legitimate messages and feelings and intelligence in rap. See you can teach an old dog new tricks! Lol 💗👍🏼🇨🇦

[@BobAsbury]

I am so proud of Ren. He is just a monster truck of creativity and production. The world had a thirty-year head start and he still crushed it! Thanks to Knox Hill for putting these reactions to Ren's releases so quickly.. I like to watch Ren's videos for the first time on your channel with your reactions.

[@thedearjohnblog]

I'm really not a crier, but I had to wipe my eyes at the end of that. Beautiful, but brutally raw. What a way to ensure Joe is never forgotten.

[@amandalockwood4403]

music is therapy....thank you to Ren for sharing this with us and thank you Knox for bringing it out for us and for sharing your experience with us as well 💗

[@november8875]

Oh my god you made my cry man. Everytime I listen to this song, I am hit by the lyrics and ren’s voice, but your reactions gave something that hit me more. Thank you for inspiring that.

[@fourcornersofbrighton]

Great reaction! This one has been hard for me. I have dealt with depression for most of my life and much of what has kept me here is the realization of how it would hurt those I love. The second half of this song is brutal but it is also a good reminder of how it hurts those left behind. Musically, it's another masterpiece! The video is beautiful as well. I think the animation was a great choice for this one. Louis Mardlin is the video editor for Ren's animated type videos and he did a fantastic job.

[@tobiasfalk3579]

brother. you 100% are the best at breaking down Rens Lyrics. also thank you for all insight

[@REN4eva]

Ren is magic. He can grab the feelings out of your soul and put them in a song that he sings back to you and it hits you in just the right place

[@DebapriyaMaitra]

That was a perfect reaction, Knox. Every single time I hear this song, I just feel speechless and disoriented at the end...but also so grateful that Ren is tackling this subject because it helps so many. Thank you for that amazing interview again, you allowed Ren to comfortably open up, which led to the creation of this incredible song. And I'm so sorry for your loss, I wish I could reach out through the screen and give you a hug. ❤❤

[@sarahkennardgehrer]

Amazing breakdown, and thanks for sharing your story of loss .... with music and the community REN is building with his fans and supporters, we are not alone....

[@andrewwest8334]

So glad you let it play out at the end. It's absolutely devastating but incredibly raw and beautifully written. I thought it was going to be an average song (by Ren's standards) and then it just smashed my heart into bits and became one of his most important works. Great reaction as always, Knox.

[@LuckeyRae]

The second part when he is taking those breathes it's like he is getting ready to jump then holds his breathe.Then it sounds like he has a slight underwater distortion on his voice throughout. I feel like he is making a statement that a part of himself went into those waters with Joe. ❤

[@Cynthiabecker24]

Hard not to connect with Ren. We are not just connecting to him, but to humanity. We've all experienced lost in many different ways. Great breakdown and track. Cheers Knox, love from Melbourne Australia 🙏🌏💙

[@primitivedogs4638]

Knox for a diploma of 1,000,000! Gold on KZbin.♥

[@SupeS19811981]

Ren is within my top 5 artist of all time. He is incredible and has such a poetic and beautiful way of dealing with the most taboo subjects. He goes where so many other people are scared to. Things like this will help to save lives! Love it.

[@theweedevil2462]

"The truth is that the day you jumped, my childhood jumped too..." Fucks me up every time.

[@leoscone4036]

Amazing phenomena. Ren, an independent artist, blows up huge on youtube, with first reactors helping out big-time resulting in thousands more views of his songs than are counted on Ren's actual channel. Ren gives great, long interviews. A reactor has an interview with him. Which gives wind to Ren's sails. And we get the realest Ren ever, telling his most painful tale more personally than ever. Phe-no-me-na. Amazing stuff. Glad to witness you taking such part in it all! Blessings.

[@REN4eva]

Here with you from Sweden, Just cried my heart out. For Ren, for myself and for everyone else that are grieving a loved one

[@mom2majkmt]

I haven’t cried like that in a bit. So beautiful but tragic, head spinning around all the words.

[@benryan8829]

I'm a 35 year old grown ass man, and this song bought tears to my eyes. Ren is a once in a genaraton artist. Appreciate your reactions as always Knox. And the way you use your platform to give roses to other artists.

[@Brathole]

I am grateful to see you do this one. :) As a schizoaffective person, I have found many commonalities with artists like Ren. I am a recovering addict, and I lost so many friends to suicide and overdose. I know the darkness. I was so numb to death. Haunting is right. Beautiful.

[@Droops1]

Ren is such a special artist, His song writing is something else. It comes from a place that we all wish we had the vocabulary to express so freely, with the eloquence to articulate the things we want or need to say so thoughtfully. how about we start a movement where we all be kind to each other? If anyone, it doesn't matter what your situation is, where you come from, what you're going through... if you need a friendly ear, just to listen... I'm here.

[@ZombiCat_]

We're all crying, Knox. Hearing his raw emotion like that, it absolutely gutted me. Incredible song.

[@larrywoodard2639]

You are an amazing man, I appreciate you, man. Thanks for your honest reactions.

[@mpho4444]

Renegades..Its been Knox Hill Certified! Top reaction as usual Mr Knox🙏🏾 the bittersweet breakdown. The end broke me😭

[@cristiweiland525]

Knox , there was beauty in your reaction. Truly. I watch your channel often and I have never felt so much connection to a song and to someone reacting to the song. It was amazing to watch this with you. Two talents blended together. You and Ren.

[@tanmaymittal3918]

Man those lines seriously those lines hit so hard.... I cant believe seriously how a song make a person cry and this song made me cry.... Music is really great

[@heyitska]

I've honestly been putting off listening to this track because I've just not been in the head space to hear it, but immediately after hearing it tonight, I jumped here for the analysis. The breakdown at the end breaks my heart, and it feels like the breakdowns in "Depression" and "Insomnia." It hurts every time I hear them, but it's like pressing on a bruise. His willingness to show vulnerability to connect with people is beautiful, and he keeps giving us his all.

[@owenfeilds]

I got absolute chills listening to this track

[@lizl2432]

In the Fibonacci sequence the sum of the first number must equal the TWO prior = DOUBLE Dutch.

[@enigmaticbird]

This one was very relevant to me. Got me right in the feelings! Love your reaction, it really helps me see aspects I miss the first time around. 💞

[@Blessed_Be_1111]

Treading on the tracks in the night time. Tread on railroad tracks, the tread on his shoes walking down the long treacherous road he's endured. But it could also be his music tracks. His pain, illness, truth and loss. He said he has been sitting on this song about Joe for awhile and not finishing or releasing- Lyric "It never really felt like the right time". He is staring face to face with the pig a reflection of himself - "Narcissistic, can't keep a secret". "Skin felt counterfeit silicone rubber. Bruises my sister, skin pop the blister" (cyst/-er) Cyst is an encapsulated collection of the constant replication and shedding of skin cells that have turned inward upon itself) "Won't stay down cause my body purges, Useless my mother can't keep down my supper" He's telling his mom there's no point in making him dinner it will only make him sick. He has MCAS (Mast Cell Activation Syndrome) that causes a anaphylactic trigger response and floods the body with histamines. His MCAS is GI based causing him a very limited diet and can only tolerate a few vegetables and meats. Still even they cause him the inability to eat anything at times and his body rejects food by painfully purging. "Double Dutch" is a cockney rhyming slang language. London "secret" language that sounds like gibberish to people that don't know how to speak it

[@woni77]

1st reaction to check out after each release from Ren!

[@Nightwolves1981]

another great reaction as always to a very powerfully emotional song from by far the best bar break down channels on KZbin and shoutout to you and your music knox the song help me is such a great song as well much love❤ keep up the grind brother

[@Mickee2605]

As a veteran, this is a relatable song... We lost so many after the war was over ♥

[@Barker-ws5kn]

This one really hit home for me, i lost a best friend to suicide and i was at his home having a few beers and playing the PlayStation with him and another friend and i left early because i was in my work clothes and felt tired and he was trying to convince me to stay for longer, he never shown signs of suicidal thoughts but what if i would of stayed that day

[@FearDaReaper]

Knox always on it so quick. Just another reason why your the goat my g. Hope your well bro

[@danielle_tsuyusuke]

Knox, your words hit just as hard. When you have long-term medical issues (physical and/or mental) it is easy to forget that, "you are not a burden." Over the years, I have gotten help from people that I have least expected, and it meant the world to me.

[@MegsD79]

Ren is amazing and you, Sir Knox, are as well! I really like your reactions and breakdowns. You really know what you are talking about and you can tell you are an artist as well because your level of understanding the very first time you listen to a song is incomparable! ❤❤❤

[@TRPLD]

Thank you for letting the last part play... It crushes me even after the 20th listening...

[@paulines968]

what a beautiful reaction to this masterpiece of art and emotion, thanks for sharing your story too

[@SGI999]

You are the teacher! I learn so much from your work K! This is only my 3rd listen to this one and glad you are my first reactor. Please continue doing what you do with the music of this mad world. You remind me of my English professor who could bring so much meaning to text. One can read the words and understand the basic idea but get cerebral - open up the mind and look within and suddenly the meaning multiplies dimensionally. Also your understanding of the nuances of the music production and how it adds so much to the meaning. Ren gives us so much of himself. My head spins out and I cry for him and the pain of everyone. No one escapes pain. Ren gives us something to hold onto. Anyways I really appreciate your analyses and interpretive skills. it’s a gift Prof❤ Your finale was perfect In the end it is profoundly simple.

[@KnoxHill]

I appreciate it! 🙌

[@chaioticneutral8880]

brother you're FAST

[@EM-ub3hn]

At the end where you stopped pausing and you were just listening to your friend in pain and feeling his pain with him, you could see it on your face, was impactful. Thank you Knox. Your reactions go beyond other reactions. You go into production aspects, reflect on the words what they mean and how they fit together. Thank you!❤️

[@lynette.]

When he does this he highlights both sides the feeling of the thoughts and the pain of those left behind. This is more likely to give pause to those in the midst of the madness.

[@SuitedSpy]

Hey Knox. I'm just gonna drop this here and hope you have a moment to read and reflect. One of the reasons I'm recommending your reactions is because of the pure raw thoughts that are on display, often letting both laughter, tears and silence speak. I often think that if my childhood friend Martin would've cried or been more open with his emotions I would have been able to react, act, prevent what he did. Totally blindsided by his suicide I'll always be trying to get young people open up to absolutely anyone. Tying back to you, and the fact that you are a role model and idol, and that you can normalize this, I'll always recommend you. Thank you.

[@brendaausman2554]

I love when he started talking about the Fibonacci sequence, then started singing in reverse Fibonacci (at least the 5,3,2,1, maybe the 8 is there as well?)