8 Tips for Starting Better Sentences (Writing Advice)

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Writer Brandon McNulty

Writer Brandon McNulty

Күн бұрын

Tired of starting your sentences with the same word over and over? Today I've got 8 tips that can help your writing.
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Credit to SkyDilen for my video intro.
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Пікірлер: 102
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 3 жыл бұрын
WARNING: The English language is a weird thing, and these tips won't apply to all situations. Don't hesitate to test out today's advice, but be aware that these techniques will work in some situations while failing in others. I actually had many other examples in this video but I had to cut them out to keep the video short and engaging (and seriously, who wants to listen to me for 14-20 minutes?). If you have any questions about starting better sentences, don't be afraid to reach out. Always happy to help.
@lordfawful2329
@lordfawful2329 3 жыл бұрын
I wouldn't mind this for 15-20 minutes, actually.
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 3 жыл бұрын
@@lordfawful2329 Haha thanks! Next time I'll have to release an extended cut
@coewright8747
@coewright8747 Жыл бұрын
Maybe a second video like a part two
@thakiusmuckfeather1103
@thakiusmuckfeather1103 Жыл бұрын
Your tips are less theoretical than those of other writers. You give examples, which is great. I watched a lot writer helps writers videos and thought that there is not much more that I can learn but you showed me in at least 3 instances something new. Thanks, Brandon.
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty Жыл бұрын
@@thakiusmuckfeather1103 Thrilled to hear it--thanks!
@9four2kayoh9
@9four2kayoh9 3 жыл бұрын
I’ve been binge watching your videos after a rough critique, and I just want to say thank you for how you present your information. It’s always in a calm, uplifting way and never feels condescending. I’m excited to implement some of your advice to become a better, stronger writer!
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 3 жыл бұрын
Glad the videos are helping! And thrilled to hear you bounced back from a rough critique. Back in 2015 I attended a writing workshop called Taos Toolbox and my manuscript got absolutely SHREDDED by a dozen other writers. I was seriously rethinking my writing career at that point (and again in mid-2016), but I hung on and survived. Just stay persistent no matter what
@gamewriteeye769
@gamewriteeye769 Жыл бұрын
Some advanced sensory details sentence examples (If this helps you're most welcome :) **Smell** Example 1: As I headed down the trail, graceful pollens hit this season with each inhale. Example 2: During the day, sewer gas fumed of putrid waste. Example 3: Somewhere through a cold breeze as arbory and autumn leaves, rain cascaded its whiff of dampness. **Touch** Example 1: Stony and sharp, bricks could cause a scrape if my fingers ran along it forever. Example 2: What sharpness the blade has-enough to cut skin-with the appropriate edge. Example 3: The bed's softness plumped in skillets of its fabric if it were a dish. **Sight** Example 1: Through darkness, someone trudged into view. Example 2: Where the winds pointed appeared as a white mist like spirit's fingers. Example 3: The cake baked in the oven until the flour rose. **Hear** Example 1: Tremors of a jackhammer shook the walls and into my ears. Example 2: Above, the roaring of a plane engine split the sky. Example 3: Like clockwork, the large hand ticked twelve by the time I arrived at the red carpet; tick-tick-tick. **Taste** Example 1: An explosion of bitter, sweet, and salt savored within each crunch. Example 2: From a point above the water, the sea's saltiness rushed by within gulps. Example 3: Given the salt, it somehow has sweet sugar when it's licked. **Bonus: what's a sentence with five senses?** Sloshing in my boots, water squeezes underneath as rain patters my umbrella, droplets hitting my tongue with its damp yet mossy scent.
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty Жыл бұрын
Good stuff. Thanks for sharing!
@kcyccyck6556
@kcyccyck6556 10 ай бұрын
Despite writing in a different language, this video is incredibly useful and now I can stop saying "He did this, she did that. Then, he did the other thing."
@jesusromanpadro3853
@jesusromanpadro3853 3 ай бұрын
Same here.
@lionspawfilmandphoto
@lionspawfilmandphoto 8 ай бұрын
Recently in my writing I observed that many sentences start with "I", so this was a good video to come across. Much to learn, I still have. :)
@ZoesWeirdThoughts
@ZoesWeirdThoughts 9 ай бұрын
I am excellent at dialogue, but not quite as good at narrative. I had one part of my manuscript in particular where almost every sentence, for like three paragraphs, started with ‘she’. I knew this was undesirable, but I wasn't sure how to fix it. Thanks for making this video, I found it quite helpful.
@chris.awilliams7138
@chris.awilliams7138 6 ай бұрын
Gratitude was the first feeling I felt towards Brandon for his video, but it wasn't that which compelled me to comment on his video. Having turned my hand to writing for many hours whose fruits could be seen as somewhat debatable, in that I had harvested a great deal of pleasure yet almost nothing of printable quality, I felt I was in a position to give something of my own thoughts on the matter. The two cents I wished to add to Brandon's proverbial treasure trove of wisdom, were that an author must find a unique voice, and that, more than anything else, should dictate the character of their prose. I had no doubt that Brandon's tips would prove an effective starting point in experimenting with voices, I believed it prudent to add that originality is not something that can be tought. As such, I was at that juncture unable to offer any advice on how to go about this other than to parrot Brandon's closing line of 'keep on writing' and hope that in doing so, the secret of wiritng in a unique voice should be bestowed upon the any who chose to read and head my advice.
@EH23831
@EH23831 Жыл бұрын
Thanks Brandon! I’m going to show this to my 6th graders… they need better sentences! 😁 And ty for mentioning editing - most kids think one draft and I’m done! 😂
@eg7737a
@eg7737a 3 жыл бұрын
Love your vlog. I'm writing my first novel and, as someone who's not trained in creative writing (I'm an attorney), I've learned a lot just watching you. Just started Bad Parts, by the way.
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 3 жыл бұрын
Thrilled to hear the videos are helping! I met an attorney on a flight home from LA once, and I asked the guy some questions about police procedures and such--we must've talked for about half the flight and I could tell he had a really creative mind because he was throwing out a bunch of different scenarios that could happen in my upcoming horror novel. Thanks for picking up a copy of BP btw! Hope you enjoy it, and when you finish, please consider leaving a review on Amazon!
@AnomalousVixel
@AnomalousVixel 18 күн бұрын
I feel like "over the hurdle I jumped" has a lyrical quality to it. It CAN work, but it's better if it's a character quirk or something. "Hop, skip, and a jump; and over the hurdle I went!"
@iosyntropy
@iosyntropy Жыл бұрын
im at the point where i need to know what actually makes a sentence good haha, everythings done now im actually writing the book and wow. there are hardly any videos in youtube about actual *word* *look*. i found one other helpful video in this regard about someone editing their own first draft which was helfpul but as always you supplied it just the right way. excellent delivery thank you sir
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty Жыл бұрын
Glad this one helped. Thanks!
@TheThinkersBible
@TheThinkersBible 9 ай бұрын
Great guidelines. Thankfully I don’t have this problem but it’s useful to see these principles organized. I’ll now have a way to use these principles intentionally instead of just instinctively.
@jiles7726
@jiles7726 Жыл бұрын
brilliant crystal clear summary of the grammar! Great tips too!!
@feliperojas-doomride
@feliperojas-doomride 6 ай бұрын
This is brilliant. So simple, yet so effective
@Alleyoop1-7Fanfiction
@Alleyoop1-7Fanfiction 11 ай бұрын
This info is so invaluable 😭
@arnav_k47
@arnav_k47 Ай бұрын
This was an incredibly helpful KZbin video, and I want to express my gratitude to you, Brandon, for helping me become a better writer!
@arnoldfossman1701
@arnoldfossman1701 8 ай бұрын
I recently started watching your videos and like what I'm finding. Taking your advice is what I'm trying here since what I'm working on is not from a first party POV.
@milesimagination.4525
@milesimagination.4525 8 ай бұрын
Watching your videos for inspiration, advice to better my writing. In college I enjoyed writing poetry, so thought I would give a book a go. I have just finished going over the only 5 pages that I have written and had not noticed how often I started a sentence with I. Thank you.
@MaggieMiller1
@MaggieMiller1 Ай бұрын
Loved the video. Glad to find somethings I already do. I have watched now 50 videos. LOVE THIS CHANNEL!
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty Ай бұрын
Thanks so much for the kind words. Thrilled the videos are helping!
@johnhines2189
@johnhines2189 Жыл бұрын
Amazing advice, thank you!!
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty Жыл бұрын
Glad to hear! Thanks for watching
@jasonmacomber4020
@jasonmacomber4020 Жыл бұрын
Great channel. Thank you for posting these videos!
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty Жыл бұрын
Thanks for the kind words!
@matthewjohnston1746
@matthewjohnston1746 9 ай бұрын
Thanks man ❤
@kajgod999
@kajgod999 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, when I am not feeling particularly poetical but have a bunch of story ideas, I do tend to do that a lot.
@TheCalicohorse
@TheCalicohorse 5 ай бұрын
There are many helpful and interesting examples here. Thank you. Moving prepositional phrases to be the beginning of sentences is great for variety, but this high school English teacher would want to see commas after the prepositional phrase. For instance, "In the evening, I hunt vampires." Perhaps these comma placements are somewhat optional (?), but writing reads awkwardly to me without them.
@blackcowboy5337
@blackcowboy5337 3 жыл бұрын
Congratulations on 1k subs!!!
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks for being a part of the journey!
@julius-stark
@julius-stark 11 ай бұрын
I do think this is good advice but I've always used "less is more" as my guiding star. Even books I've loved tend to have far too many wordy sentences. I aim to get the point across in the fewest amount of words as possible without compromising emotional impact.
@TheBluenyt09
@TheBluenyt09 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks I learned a lot! 😎👍👍
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 3 жыл бұрын
Thrilled to hear! Thanks, as always, for watching!
@jasonryan1199
@jasonryan1199 Жыл бұрын
Thank you very helpful. I especially "The punch .... This is something that sprang to mind on the first example. The mall was the only place Jack would meet me.
@mnhassan1
@mnhassan1 2 ай бұрын
Your video sounds informative.
@caedrewan
@caedrewan 9 ай бұрын
The section on "prepositional phrases" is especially interesting to me, because I teach English in China, and when you give the examples about moving "At night" or "After the game", I actually specify these as "time phrases" rather than calling them prepositional phrases (not to say I was even aware of this broader term being applicable to time phrases... thanks for that info!) I just think it makes it way easier to generalize the rule by saying "time phrases can be moved around in the sentence" (I usually specify these are better placed at the end or beginning), rather than saying "some prepositional phrases can be moved around, but others sound very awkward" Anyway, considering how many of your videos I watch, if I ever get back to North America I'd better buy a copy of Bad Parts!
@MrKFC-dy8pe
@MrKFC-dy8pe 6 ай бұрын
I'm currently typing a book called "beneath the surface" and this helps a lot
@whome8444
@whome8444 2 жыл бұрын
I love your channel.
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 2 жыл бұрын
And I love your comment. Thanks for watching!
@AlextheENTP
@AlextheENTP 9 ай бұрын
Thanks for these tips, and the reminder of what all these weird parts of speech thingies are about, lol. I think it's also effective to vary the length of your sentences so that your work doesn't sound like an instruction manual or a dry corporate report. For example, the driving half asleep sentence could be part of: _Half asleep, I drove to work, narrowly missing vehicles and pedestrians in my stupor. I was late._ So you've solved the I-I-I problem and kept the pace interesting.
@Azure_Iolite
@Azure_Iolite 11 ай бұрын
Ones I struggle with when writing is whenever I'm trying to describe something or someone, I have a habit of starting a lot of sentences or paragraphs with words like "However" or "Additionally/In addition" and "Besides that"
@maurito13fx64
@maurito13fx64 10 ай бұрын
I have this issue where I tend to repeat (not all the time, but more than with other words) stuff like "then they went to..." Or "Suddenly it started to..." as the beggining of my sentences.
@TrevorDuran3390
@TrevorDuran3390 3 жыл бұрын
To the Star Command Center, take me!
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 3 жыл бұрын
Hahaha better get that copyrighted before someone steals it
@WRLO56
@WRLO56 3 ай бұрын
After watching this video, I understand why the following is perhaps the greatest opening paragraph in English literature: "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort."
@Space_Writer
@Space_Writer Жыл бұрын
Maybe "over the hurdle I jumped" sounds weird, but how about "over each hurdle I hurled my outstretched legs?"😅
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty Жыл бұрын
Haha I'm sure Shakespeare would be proud
@adora721lux8
@adora721lux8 9 ай бұрын
Using -ing words, called gerunds, at the start of a sentence usually leads to weak sentences; at least, that's what I was told by teachers. It's not that you can't do that (I just did), but I've been told to avoid them when possible at the start of a sentence.
@rogerbarkley9130
@rogerbarkley9130 Жыл бұрын
Your videos are always really good, but this one was 'really' good. There's not enough advice on this kind of 'micro' level of writing. The majority of people seem to hyper-fixate on high level 'macro' stuff (plot, arch, etc.), which I get the importance of, but it leads to a huge lack of quality advice and conversation on topics like these. Again, great video. Thanks.
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching!
@markmarkel5120
@markmarkel5120 Жыл бұрын
I have been watching also your videos and enjoy them very much. Today you’re covering the first person in sentence writing. Can you do the third person. Or is it done the same way?
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty Жыл бұрын
They're basically the same. You just need to swap out the 1st person pronoun for a 3rd person pronoun. 1st Example: I answered the comment. 3rd Example: He answered the comment.
@stratocruising
@stratocruising 10 ай бұрын
"Jack was met by me at the mall." The mall was a silent witness to the meeting of Jack and me." The jack/me meeting was planned for, and occurred at, the mall."
@brianvadgardritter1242
@brianvadgardritter1242 Жыл бұрын
Building tension from that one sentence: I've been limping ever since that dog bit me -> It's not just me. We're all a bit scared. But finally being on great terms with the guy next door, I'm not the one who's going to tell him, to keep his rottweiler on a leash. Even though I very much wish he would. Without anyone telling him to, he won't. And I know the other residents won't do it because they're more scared of him than they are of his dog. Well, maybe I'm the one affected the most. Limping, ever since that dog bit me, my whole body tenses up whenever the neighbor lets that damn monster roam free. (English is not my first language, but thought I might give it a try anyway)
@tremokratis4971
@tremokratis4971 9 ай бұрын
If I became a successful author. I won't forget you
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 9 ай бұрын
Best of luck!
@paperbackstories
@paperbackstories 4 ай бұрын
This is something I struggle with. Often time when I try to move the subject, the language sounds awkward.
@Galantski
@Galantski Жыл бұрын
Thanks for your channel, Brandon, I really get quite a bit from your tips. I'd like to get your feedback on a starting sentences debate that I've had with a friend and fellow writer. Occasionally, I use the word "And" to begin one; he's adamant that I should never open a sentence with a conjunction, while I think he's being a bit of a grammar grouch. Your take?
@burnttoast5477
@burnttoast5477 Жыл бұрын
the video was made 2 years ago so person prob won't answer. Anyways I guess you could probably use "then" instead of "and" which would work similarly and be more grammatical.
@iosyntropy
@iosyntropy Жыл бұрын
"over the hurtle i jumped" - yoda mcnulty haha!!
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty Жыл бұрын
For your comment I am thankful
@SilverDreamweaver
@SilverDreamweaver 11 ай бұрын
This has little to do with the video, but I'm playing with the idea of writing down random variations of some these sentences. I guess I'll give it a shot. - Jack waved me down right outside the mall's entrance. - There isn't a single thing about winter which doesn't set me off. - Jack smirked as my punch whistled past his ears. - The painting's multifold hues stopped me in my tracks. - My body seized to the clangorous boom of nearby gunshots. - A barrage of cheap perfume assaulted my nostrils. - Zesty mint complimented the toasty flavor of coffee. - Chills shook my muscles as I entered shower. - With a pitiful attempt to muffle my stomach's roars, I reluctantly succumbed to exhaustion. - My grip loosened on the steering wheel each time I dozed off on my way to work. - Failure felt inevitable as I struggled to crack this insufferable safe. I swear I could hear its cackles. - The stars blanketed the sky as I walked to the local gym.
@rogeras5966
@rogeras5966 Жыл бұрын
Approve this video, Yoda does.
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty Жыл бұрын
Hahah!
@deckardcanine
@deckardcanine 11 ай бұрын
I think I ditched the habit with my first successful resume. Outside of a career in writing, that's when you most have to keep something interesting to read.
@twenty1fettuccine
@twenty1fettuccine 10 ай бұрын
Especially in my first drafts, all my sentences sound like a groceries’ list 😅
@Space_Writer
@Space_Writer Жыл бұрын
All these tips make sense to me, but the annoying thing is that Hemingway is constantly telling me that I'm writing in the passive voice and suggesting I do otherwise. If I was to follow Hemingway, many of my sentences would start off very similar. 😐
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty Жыл бұрын
It's best to avoid passive tense unless a character is being acted upon ("I was struck from behind by...")
@Greatermaxim
@Greatermaxim 12 күн бұрын
Mine are fairly the same. Though I have improved on cleaning it up. It also depends on the age group and your tone. If you use pronouns a great deal this character should be important. I can see more of the same with main characters while the secondaries should vary. You do not see the non-MCs a great deal of the time too much. If the SCs are drooling with anticipation or swooping from the sky. He, the MC, might noticed it or not.
@umbranoctis4348
@umbranoctis4348 9 ай бұрын
At the beginning of your sentences, prepositions you should put. More interesting than if you started them with "I did a thing" they will sound.
@domusavires19
@domusavires19 8 ай бұрын
Yoda, is that you?
@umbranoctis4348
@umbranoctis4348 8 ай бұрын
@@domusavires19 Correctly guessed you have. Sharp your senses are for picking up on that.
@tomlewis4748
@tomlewis4748 10 ай бұрын
In 1st-P, it becomes a bit more critical. The only nounal descriptor to describe an action by the protagonist is the pronoun 'I'. in 3rd-P, it's less critical, bc there are two nounal descriptors, the pronoun 'he' or 'she', and the character name. Consequently, it's much more difficult to begin action sentences with variety in 1st-P than it is in 3rd-P. Just one of the built-in limitations of 1st-P (which could still be the better choice due to inherent advantages over 3rd-P, of course). So writing in 1st-P takes a little more skill in the category of beginning sentences with variety. You have to be a bit more creative to overcome that appearance of repetition. Brandon's reversal tips help.
@diegooland1261
@diegooland1261 9 ай бұрын
With this issue I struggle :)
@invisi6l339
@invisi6l339 3 ай бұрын
After watching this video and reading some comments, I can't help but think everyone here is consciously or unconsciously trying to apply the techniques from the video while writing their comments...
@DwayneF
@DwayneF 3 жыл бұрын
I thought I was the only one cleaning this up in the edit
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 3 жыл бұрын
Nope. My first-draft prose is as boring and straight-forward as it gets. But that's okay--makes it much easier to cut things later
@rodrigo3732
@rodrigo3732 3 жыл бұрын
I suppose different things irritate different readers. I get tired of wind descriptions at the start of chapters real fast,just because they are soo cliche. On the other hand,i don,t mind always starting with a name,it,s the fastest way to get what is going on,especially when you have many points of view.
@rodrigo3732
@rodrigo3732 3 жыл бұрын
@ABadClock AnotherBadClock like literally every wheel of time first chapter. Describing a far away enviroment and then zooming in a character or event. Sorrry if i couldn,t explain well,english is not my first language.
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 3 жыл бұрын
@@rodrigo3732 Yeah, repeatedly opening up a chapter with weather or the setting can get boring. Not sure if you saw my video on 7 Ways To Open Your Chapters, but it might help give you ideas: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qH-9hHeAe6lnfJI
@asherscott3151
@asherscott3151 11 ай бұрын
sentences be like, protag name verbed noun
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 3 жыл бұрын
Are you someone who starts their sentences with the same word again and again? Let us know!
@potatomanboooi3105
@potatomanboooi3105 3 жыл бұрын
if you start a sentence with an object and start a new sentence saying the same object then it is like we already know and it sounds like a robot.like for example,a ball is very round.a ball is really shiny.a ball is bouncy.a ball is meant to be kicked
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 3 жыл бұрын
@@potatomanboooi3105 Yep, definitely. Also, just so you're aware, you're talking about the SUBJECT of the sentence (what performs the action), not the OBJECT
@potatomanboooi3105
@potatomanboooi3105 3 жыл бұрын
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty oh ok
@WriterBrandonMcNulty
@WriterBrandonMcNulty 3 жыл бұрын
@@potatomanboooi3105 Yeah, as long as you understand how to write a good sentence, the terminology doesn't matter...but it helps to be able to label things when discussing them.
@potatomanboooi3105
@potatomanboooi3105 3 жыл бұрын
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty yeah i understand.i also learned to make it interesting even if it is correct is to describe it.instead of saying the ball say the bounciest ball
@sandy_claws7467
@sandy_claws7467 10 ай бұрын
I'm noticing i lean too heavily on prepositional phrases
@transformationgeneration
@transformationgeneration 11 ай бұрын
Though, and although...ugh.
@kalekain3521
@kalekain3521 11 ай бұрын
Wait. I've heard from multiple sources you aren't supposed to begin sentences with -ing verbs in writing because it sounds amateurish, and in fact you are supposed to cut them as much as possible. I'm getting mixed messages here.
@cowebb2327
@cowebb2327 10 ай бұрын
I think better advice is never try to write fiction in first person. Writing is hard enough without trying something very few are good at and most of the greats never tried.
@dutch_asocialite
@dutch_asocialite 11 ай бұрын
Bro, wtf is that intro? Are you going to give writing advice or tell us how to slam 360 noquickscopes in Call of Duty?
@7ebr830
@7ebr830 Жыл бұрын
Isn't "Jack met me at the mall" in the passive voice? Why would I introduce such horrid writing into my work?
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