XFM The Ricky Gervais Show Series 3 Episode 4 - Farmer's wife

The Ricky Gervais Show Broadcast 22th November 2003.
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[@chrishumpherson2901]

My uncle is a mate of Ricky’s brother Bob and he just recently told me that they have all met up to discuss a Netflix series. Karl apparently said he would only do it if it was talking about themes he’s interested in and would not do anything abroad or travelling. Ricky’s brother said that they all met up in a dark apartment in London with some Netflix producer that was facing away from them in a dead expensive chair, never showed his face and they were discussing topics Karl would relate to…. Steve disagreed and things got heated! The Netflix producer chair spins around “little monkey sitting there smoking a cigar”

[@ManMoth]

I’m going to sounds really gullible now but you had me going there. The dark apartment and the facing away in a dead expensive chair (probably made of coconut shells) should have been a give away. Nicely written.

[@sheridansay8667]

Absolute twaddlle. Play a record!

[@Xxpwnage223x]

God damnit lmao

[@bonechip01]

Brilliant

[@UnderAGlassMetropolis]

Play a record, you're a buffoon.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

"Most of the stand-up observations have been said on this show." Never a truer word spoken.

[@SpaghettiSilhouette]

I love hearing him tell a joke or story now and recognizing it from xfm 10+ years ago

[@SM-ee8be]

Yeah and at least half of them are just adaptations of karls thoughts. I like Ricky's stand up but that would piss me off if I was Karl

[@alfiemitchell3026]

Sean McL Karl helped write a lot of Ricky’s standup

[@WOOOPdoctorFROGhere]

That's true enough

[@AlligatorBrothel]

@@SM-ee8be he even stole steve’s observation of humpty dumpty being a giant egg man.

[@MelancholicEcho]

"Eyes bulging with imagined riches".

[@AA-hg5fk]

Never have truer words been written about Steve!

[@treehousekohtao]

He knows he's a bit odd lookin

[@DBUTFACE]

"I'm rubbish on The Office, you can see me forgetting my lines..." "THAT'S true."

[@BassManDan1018]

Ricky’s just such a remarkable bully in so much he can literally egg the other two on into viciously insulting each other, and then when it turns on him, he’s like Teflon - diffuses it instantly by admitting he’s fat and laughing his head off. Admirable really, gotta admire it.

[@ThePontiacBandit911]

He’s a shit stirrer.

[@Truffle_Pup]

Absolute wizard of a shit-stirrer hahaha

[@AA-hg5fk]

You didn't really consider that it was Ricky's show and he was by far the most famous and powerful of the three (and still is today)

[@justanothercreator7273]

he is, imagine him in the workplace with his bullying antics haha so annoying.

[@eUK95]

​@AA-hg5fk it's just his personality. Would be like that even if they were all equally famous

[@magiguy102]

I love how almost every episode Ricky says 'That's it. That's the end of Rockbusters. Really this time'

[@feelthejoy]

This ep was truly the worst Rockbusters ever

[@James-StJames]

+Joy Woffindin And that really is saying something.

[@mrdex8527]

+James St.James ha!!

[@E83X]

Or the classic "Right... we're NEVER doing this again"

[@adamjeffs5930]

I don’t know. The Rockbusters in the final episode of series 4 is up there. 😆

[@graysonridge4080]

The BONG headline bit never fails to have me in stitches

[@callumloader8713]

It’s fantastic. “Cow hit by train lands on farmers wife” had me in tears

[@UnderAGlassMetropolis]

Man changes his name to Bubba Bubba Bubba Bubba.

[@6guns431]

"That's the end of rockbusters" (for the 100th time...) 😂

[@WOOOPdoctorFROGhere]

Aren't we doin it anymore? Aren't we doin it anymore? Aren't we doin it anymore? Aren't we doin it anymore?

[@DunkeysLongLostSon]

@@WOOOPdoctorFROGhere What, you need to get started on it now?

[@kevinflemming5928]

We're never doing this again.

[@nicholasdrew5128]

Absolutely one of the worst rockbusters ever 😂

[@JHA854]

"I should've known, she was a woman." Absolute savage from Karl. No respect for human life.

[@WfxRS]

He’s taking the piss out of Steve saying he never talks to women

[@RiC_David]

@@WfxRS That's what he meant, savage to Steve.

[@gary1632]

Jokes on every one Steve misses is hot

[@RoyOnion]

@@gary1632 jokes on her if anyone

[@sundaygirl5]

Is she with him for his bulging eyes or his bulging wallet? Oh well at least he finally splashed out on a lady 😆

[@a_b897]

"...ohh, Office..."

[@Milan_Smidt]

it worked for me. After he said it that i thought: .....hmm, maybe I should start watching it again.

[@matthughes1914]

Milan Smidt Jujjuj

[@matthughes1914]

Milan Smidt jiij

[@WOOOPdoctorFROGhere]

@@Milan_Smidt one trick pony. He just looks at the camera and touches his tie. Bored of that.

[@tophatproductions3031]

@@WOOOPdoctorFROGhere You can actually see him forgetting some of his lines.

[@benashley4837]

Karl's remixes of movies is probably the most creative thing I've ever heard on radio, they're absolutely brilliant

[@sneezydeezymcdeluxe7015]

He does them extremely well too. I've tried doing something similar, and trying to make it sound like I'm actually in the scene is so difficult. Loads of chopping and changing, editing etc. But on Karl's ones, it genuinely sounds like he just replaced their voice with his, it's that well done.

[@TheDoctor7799]

This was 18 years ago too. Very hard!

[@AaronSmith0]

I wonder what editing software he had? Vegas?

[@tyroon81]

He does play the same lairy miserable character in all of them though😁

[@treehousekohtao]

This is the true tragedy of Karl. He believed that rockbusters was his Newton's apple, whereas If he had taken the film thing and ran with it, he could've made it all the way to vh1.

[@SkandiaAUS]

I wonder if Steve regrets reading out that review (29:15) because every video of him on KZbin has someone tying in the phrase "Eyes buldging with imagined riches."

[@thereader6667]

He probably loves it as he’s now got about £20 million in the bank. Probably would still take that 50p from Karl though if it was on offer.

[@Dilkingt0nne]

This is a gold tier episode tbf you’ve got the classics of “oooh”, “eyes bulging” and “dear streets” all in one

[@kieranwhite6647]

'She goes ooh' gets me every time 😂

[@Templeton1994]

“Weak observations, poorly performed” - the back and forth here kills me 😂

[@SkandiaAUS]

My favourite moment across all episodes is Steve reading the write up about him, 29:12. It caught me off guard the first time I heard it, and it sums up his look so well, amazing.

[@AA-hg5fk]

That and he's a complete miser!

[@trevorfeelgood]

Cow hit by train lands on farmer's wife . Brilliant !

[@omikronweapon]

+Chris Barnes Comedian I was disappointed when they didn't tell the whole story :P

[@JakeWilliams283]

Chris Barnes Comedian Ricky's sheer joy at that one is great

[@TheTaterTotP80]

Poor Cow, though. Not funny at all that it was hurt and or killed.

[@jameshoffa7085]

@@TheTaterTotP80 yes it is you pansy

[@Christophee1987]

I know that they're joking around, but Steve's right about most of Ricky's stand-up material having already been heard on this show. The same is true of the stuff Steve has done since this show.

[@Tokegaroh]

I like how Ricky uses some of Karl's quotes when he plays the character Derek. xDD

[@Tokegaroh]

Off the top of my head. Like when he says about putting the worm in flour and what if it burps/ farts or something. . . There was a few more but I can't be bothered to re-watch derek. I prefer these so much more. Go watch it and you'll see what I mean.

[@jossies451]

I watched Ricky's stand up on animals and I couldn't help but feel it was very much inspired by Karl.

[@bensmith5288]

And what ?

[@bensmith5288]

@@jossies451 look at the state of your picture .. 1 percent of girls should pose like that .. you are the 99 percent

[@lucaj3937]

"I think that's because of the chemicals"

[@danireidphotography7873]

5:50am can't sleep... Here I am again 😊 my favourite thing to listen to for the past 8 years

[@sneezydeezymcdeluxe7015]

The photographer woman can't sleep n' that, why's that? What's up wi' 'er?

[@butters_]

@@sneezydeezymcdeluxe7015that’s not cryptic that’s shit !

[@You-Deef]

Steve is fast becoming my fav on this show, such an underrated part of it, I think he’s hilarious

[@AdityaValvi]

He’s the secret sauce. It’s due to his comedic timing and wit that this show is steered towards greatness.

[@Vtwin_Superbikes]

“Fast becoming” 20 years after the fact.

[@butmay1893]

doesn't matter, it still counts.@@Vtwin_Superbikes

[@butmay1893]

I disagree, I think his vindictive gleeful and small minded contributions about homelessness, women and fat people make the show a sad study of disgusting nasty human behaviour and spiteful elitist mindset.

[@raulduke3237]

Steve is the true brain

[@cam-the-bassist]

Ricky's plug of his standup is amazing

[@mcharles1814]

'It came up in conversation.' is the best bit, there's no way it came up, anywhere, really. Hhaha.

[@WollongongWacko]

PLUG! You just say words!

[@michaelquinn9907]

Wonder if they'll have a DVD, for animal......s. Huh?

[@AutomaticDuck300]

"Most of the stand-up observations have been said on this show." Never a truer word spoken.

[@kitpalmer1583]

@@AutomaticDuck300 probably by Steve and Karl too

[@sammcnamara88]

I have been listening to the Ricky Gervais Show for years and I think that “Fangs but no fangs” is the best thing ever on the show.

[@jadehills5663]

Oh man, I can honestly take all the jokes on the chin but, Karl describing the women’s reaction after seeing Steve on the poster breaks my heart for Steve.

[@skillbomb8823]

I mean he pretty obviously made it up to be fair

[@Christoff070]

​@@skillbomb8823nah, Karl doesn't do that, he'd rather use brutal honesty

[@AA-hg5fk]

​@@skillbomb8823nah I think it was a true story, or at least partly true

[@Halry1]

Steve started it

[@BT37GU]

I love how Karl had a pop at Steve first but then acts like he's doing the just thing by getting the last insult in as well😅😅

[@jmexiv2975]

Karl's film things are genuinely brilliant.

[@20621393]

the noise karl makes at 15:07 gets me every time

[@steviefyre]

I was coming here to comment exactly this!! Followed by "Oh, look at that.."

[@laurenel8084]

Ricky's Jamaican accent is amazing.

[@odw_99]

It makes me laugh that Ricky said 'We've given it two comebacks' (when referring to Rockbusters) when they got rid of it every week in series two

[@raulduke3237]

I always thought empty threats in that fashion were funny

[@indecentproposal9473]

"English, quite good."

[@davet2825]

“It wasn’t as much of a blow to me. But I can see how it was a shock to you”. Imagine saying that to your mate on the tube when you saw Steve haha

[@tobybiggins5367]

I love how obviously made up it is by Karl just to wind Steve up

[@zackel8869]

Anyone else not able to sleep without listening to one of these ?

[@Smithy101575]

Nice to see that the Kenco woman finally got in touch with Steve.

[@davidkglevi]

Damn, Steve's brilliant! He's lightning fast!

[@PROUDCANADIANGIRL]

My husband and I were super excited to visit Granada studios back in 95 to strictly see Coronation street, and we did! It was awesome!!!! We walked the cobbles and I even made a phone call back to Ontario from the pay phone infront of Audrey’s hairdressers! Ya, the phone worked!!!! I know, I was shocked too! Anyways,.. had Karl got that job at Granada, he may have been our Tour guide?! Wow! Not that we would have known him then ( we found him originally on idiot abroad )but to look back and say… I RECOGNIZE THAT DUDE FROM CORRIE! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@UserX03]

"Eyes bulging with imagined riches" at 29:18

[@SA-kt3wt]

Love how steve gets wound up about the 50p, yet the previous season he thought it was fine to take £30 from someone else's bank account.

[@williamsmith666]

The 50p was HIS money, you understand...

[@Scallion_D]

Yeah lol. I love Steve but sometimes he's got some awful takes.

[@joshold5840]

Yeah but there's gotta be rules mate.. otherwise it's chaos...

[@c.j.griffin]

@@joshold5840 totally - the rules being that Steve takes what he wants and demands his right to keep whatever he (already) has.

[@zackharris8373]

It's not about the 50p 😂

[@SupaDr00g]

The Pulp Fiction skit is priceless lol.

[@GooglyEyedJoe]

47:40 - "Dire Straits..." "NO IT'S NOT DIRE STRAITS! ITS NOT DIRE STRAITS! DEAR STREETS!" 11:35 - "...Ahhh...Office."

[@Milan_Smidt]

''They've got that one as well. So...''

[@kieranflaherty3316]

9:38 - Don't mind me, I'm just saving my favourite moments from each episode for my next round trip 👍

[@slowe2712]

obsessed with these. same as everyone else here they're constantly on in the background in my room and as i fall to sleep. this episode is definitely one of the best for me. the ep should be called 'fangs, but no fangs.' cracks me up EVERY TIME :')

[@TedBrogan]

holy crap. on as I sleep too

[@digitaldylantingles7784]

"Ooh look at that person he's with." Poor Steve 🤣

[@thesevideosareshit]

Karl goes out of his way to hurt Steve with the 2 women in the tube story. What a prick hahaha

[@Azerkeux]

It sounded entirely made up too

[@Christoff070]

Sparks are flying

[@bazglsgw1208]

It took the fight right out of Steve.

[@juggadaaku4219]

Steve can dish it but can’t take it.

[@utft5719]

This is one of the top 5 eps of the original 4 seasons no question.

[@krispyai4229]

"You've probably heard most of the stand-up observations on this show" Yep, and not all from Ricky.

[@feelthejoy]

"It's nature's way of saying 'nothing to see 'ere.'" HA

[@el-seq3032]

Joy Woffindin When he pushed his glasses up on his nose and he was so goggle eyed that he's eyes touched the lens! =)

[@dale2442]

47:22 “Dear streets oh yeah I haven’t heard of em. What are they a band?” “That’s Dire Straits” “NO IT’S NOT DIRE STRAITS”

[@theworldisastage4520]

The improvisation about the news article "fangs but no fangs" is comedy genius in real time.

[@4life123serb]

Fangs but no fangs

[@WhatsInTheFog]

I always feel sorry for Steve when Karl brings up the tube/poster story. Because after Karl says it, and then Ricky speaks to him, Steve struggles to think of stuff to say, and sounds genuinely hurt and deflated. And I normally never feel any empathy for Steve.

[@Jimjamatic]

+WhatsInTheFog Nah that was hilarious

[@DDnufcGamer]

The funny part here is that Karl tells multiple stories about Steve's looks, Steve says one thing and Karl makes up a story about the tube saying "well I'm not just going to sit here and take it after you started." I 100% think the story is fake though. It started with "I was on the tube" but became well "someone told me", then he had a full conversation, which means he's filling in blanks from his own mind. We all know how that goes... A monkey ending up on a bus, to a monkey stole a bus and drove off to Spain xD

[@Ligerpride]

"that all happened without anyone else bringing it on" i.e. it's not just me who thinks you look weird. Savage!

[@brendancadogan6235]

Karl is definitely the biggest cunt of the three. Steve is right, too much of a coward to pick on Ricky.

[@studkickass513]

Brendan Cadogan 100% correct sir. Well said.

[@hankochai]

I think “See Hull”/ Seal might be Karl’s biggest Rockbusters stretch.

[@LifeOfRy]

worse than A Licks Parks? Or Deli Meat Tree?😂

[@ben3129]

@@LifeOfRy or dan yell bed in field

[@LifeOfRy]

@@ben3129 few more terrible mentions: •Rob Her Plant •Cauli Aus Born •Genie Sis Categorically the biggest imbecile to ever grace the airwaves.

[@ben3129]

@@LifeOfRy new odour. thats another listener gone

[@lesleyb13]

​@@LifeOfRy no matter how many times I listen to these I ALWAYS forget 'deli meat tree' .... It has to be the worst ever 😂😂😂. Even though I can think of the actual rock buster now, if I was listening to it I would forget 😅

[@TroyGawlak]

Ricky’s laugh when Steve says “fiddly.” 😂

[@babyshambler]

I always look forward to it.

[@SundayCovers69]

This is one of the most classic cannon episodes. Karl’s voicemail. “Weak observations poorly performed” and “Eyes bulging with imagined riches” are 2 of the favourites on the comments on Steve’s instagram. “Deer Streets” and Suzanne’s haircut in Pulp Fiction are two of the all time classics of the show. The women talking about Steve on the underground is one of the most savage Karl v Steve moments. Steve’s glasses tales and glasses flying off at the gig are some of the most character defining Steve lore.

[@sarahcotton-vb3de]

Steve gets too much hate, I love Steve 😂

[@aidanfoley1257]

Broadcasted the day I was born. 20 years old now listening to them still

[@gibsondanny]

Ricky is the only person I've ever heard say they did not like bourbons. That really surprises me

[@bradenrodriguez5183]

Having listened to these for years I was expecting "Detrout Spinners" as the answer even know it didn't make sense (like it needs to). Made me laugh at the answer. :)

[@re20bt]

I find myself randomly saying “Karl, play a record.” - over and over.

[@AdityaValvi]

One of the best episodes of all time.

[@lesleyb13]

Petition to change the name of this episode to either "Bicycle Stype" or "Fangs but no Fangs" 😂😂😂

[@NxDoyle]

Karl was like a squid. As soon as he felt threatened he'd shit ink everywhere.

[@Samouraii]

Listened to them so many times might choose as my specialist subject on mastermind

[@SummumRecords]

13:58 “Sorry Johnny Depp” 😂

[@liamrcooper]

Best show ever. And as a fellow Northerner i can relate to Karl' opinions, albeit some being very daft.

[@stevechristie2569]

give us examples

[@Aalborg42]

+Steve Christie London would do my head in

[@kevinflemming5928]

London is very annoying. I'm from the South West and worked there plenty in the past. Just travelling around is such a pain in the arse, let alone anything else.

[@bigman25plus25]

How did you get access to the internet? :O

[@CittizinKane]

bigman25plus25 went round the council house with the horse in it, it showed them how to connect to dial up 😂

[@el-seq3032]

They really used to pick on Steve, it gets too personal and you can tell he doesn't like it.

[@omikronweapon]

... yea...

[@ymb9shinzou743]

Steve knows his role and they are great at understanding what they have to do to get the most out of Karl. They are really in sync andthey know they can do it and it go completely over Karls head. Even when Karl is abusing Steve.. Steve is still the one making Karl look a fool.

[@markphillips6205]

Karl is far more secure in himself than Steve is

[@phlav10]

Around 6:30 Karl sounds like he's about to crack up, when he says some listeners can go xD

[@ChimozuFu]

phlav10 yess ikr

[@vividdylan400]

Steve, one of the most wittiest people, extremely quick on his feet with funny one liners, that same Steve, when mocked for his looks by Karl, becomes mute and the only thing he can conjure up to say is "yeah...yeah...yeah." I mean, I feel bad. Sometimes his voice becomes too desolate and grim when Karl is having a go. This is why I don't think it was planned or that they are just acting. Because Steve never really has any comeback. I know people will say that it's all in the game. Steve mocks Karl too, so it's all fair. But I dunno. Especially this story about two women in the train that Karl apparently heard from someone else, because Karl himself seems a bit hesitant to tell the story at first.

[@thvtsydneylyf3th077]

BONNNNNGGGGG! AhahHahaha! What an argument so creative 😂

[@hawx123]

The fella that painted the ceiling. LOL

[@micheledobb589]

I love Ricky Gervais’s voice here.

[@DeimosComaBlack]

"The terrible fella."

[@thedrumknight]

Ricky and Steve trashing rage against the machine aged like fine wine. These days they’re more like rage for the machine.

[@amjoshuaf]

The ultimate end for socialists/communists is to become the machine. If the members of Rage Against the Machine had picked up a history book and learned that they could have saved everyone’s valuable time. And really, if at any point you’ve been accepted into the fold of a large corporation it’s probably time to wonder how antiestablishment your dog and pony show truly is. That is to say, they were always raging for the machine.

[@grrinc]

The Rage guitarist was a support act for Muse in London. He was berating white people and other such cuckory. At the end of the concert, waiting in the wings was the clean up crew…. all black people. He was probably drinking champagne with all the wealthy guests.

[@calluholto5452]

Genuinely feel sorry for Steve when Karl lays into him in this one

[@ofrenic]

Ah yeah bit far, he does look like a freak with the bulging eyes and lanky physique. He must be OK with it nowadays seeing as he's in xmen haha

[@basedchimera5859]

It's how all the fight goes out of him that gets me

[@sammcnamara88]

I love you ManMoth but this episode has to be called "Fangs but no fangs". It is unbelievably funny 😂

[@shnoogums1]

Karl: “I don’t like to moan. I’m busy and that” -moans directly after saying he doesn’t like to moan

[@sneezydeezymcdeluxe7015]

It's a good job you've got lots of mates like Jonathan Ross.

[@ryanmcmillan2279]

Cow hit by train lands on farmers wife dam that made me laugh

[@jd9171]

best rockbusters since christ da burg/buyan ferry

[@Scallion_D]

Yep!

[@julienblower7452]

i cant believe it, it's Baz Bamigboye from the Daily Mail!

[@brianhurley2194]

"Fangs, but NO fangs!!"

[@KubbsWickedSoul]

If only they knew back then Steve would end up dating Christine Marzano...

[@Scallion_D]

Who.

[@chairmanmeow8388]

@@Scallion_D Christine Marzano.

[@omikronweapon]

@@chairmanmeow8388 who?

[@chairmanmeow8388]

@@omikronweapon Christine Marzano

[@JustinKlineTheComedian]

Title should be 'Bicycle Stipe.'

[@hankochai]

Steve playing the Sun reporter is gold.

[@PSRetro_]

And she goes “oooh”

[@joefitzgerald7660]

10:45 i love Ricky's digression in his own point

[@studkickass513]

"Gervais' mannerisms could have been transferred as dollar signs." 😆😆Hilarious link from Ricky. I do gotta say, I always thought this sentence did not make sense due to Rick's use of "transferred" (which did not make sense based on my personal understanding of the word). Ya learn something every day, because I found this as the last and least used definition of the word "transferred": *change (the sense of a word or phrase) by extension or metaphor* Thanks for teaching me, Mr. Gervais!!!

[@simonb9412]

Genie-Sis, Deer Streets, and See Hull. Some classic bands there :D

[@dball_94]

Rockbusters was a train wreck in this one 🤣

[@heelmoxley365]

Like every episode 😂😂

[@Scallion_D]

Steve vs Karl arguments never get old lmao.

[@teo5146]

Probably the only time Karl left Steve speechless

[@capnhawkins]

Last night I was thinking about a situation that I didn't want to happen and I thought "thanks but no thanks" but in place of that, I made it "fangs, but no fangs." I was like "Oh brother."

[@chrissweeney5354]

Wow, that answer message really shows a different side to Karl.

[@KirkWilson86]

Chris Sweeney the real side

[@omikronweapon]

does it? His moaning and genuinely annoyed slagging off of his girlfriends appearance on public radio, doesn't make him seem like a sweet and caring person. He wants her to come along on a grocery run while she's sick, tries to find any excuse to not get her birthday gifts, or re-gifts them. And that's towards someone who loves him. Most of the rest of humans and even animals are a hassle or annoyance to him.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

They're all pricks, that's what makes it funny.

[@6guns431]

Does it? 🤔

[@hehwhwh727]

@@omikronweapon it's banter m8

[@gabrielonnerfors885]

Ricky 42 seconds in: that's the rugby thing over that's all I had today

[@lydiarodgers]

some of the best steve v karl in this ep

[@studkickass513]

+ManMoth The man, the legend, the moth. You rock. Episode title change to "Fangs, but no fangs."

[@brizeys3128]

Hull is in Yorkshire not the NorthEast! Can’t believe Steve and Ricky didn’t spot it.

[@gregjordan38]

I think that's because of the chemicals. ha ha ha. gets me every time

[@SpaghettiSilhouette]

Karl was going to tell the story about the women and the poster before Steve mentioned the balloon

[@twofatslugs]

29:18

[@ChimozuFu]

24:38 he’s a better drawer. Brilliant xDD