Xtremityy: A Microcosm of Callout Culture

[@rheima]

Late to commenting, but here's an update from The Sister tm about the situation from 4 weeks in the future, now that it's pretty much completely blown over in the public eye. Xtremityy has returned to Deviantart and gotten off completely free of revenue or platform loss. Aside from a few mutual friends dropping or hardblocking her, she has still faced no decline in numbers or a following. She's, in a lot of ways, gotten away with spreading this about me. My numbers have not boosted as a result of this video or press at all, and have remained steadily a little bad and staggering. I don't have room to complain because it's a stroke of luck to cultivate an audience, but it's insanely frustrating and paranoia-inducing to go through. Cyl has not addressed the drama or video since her followup post, and the community has largely forgotten, aside from a few very aggressively toned people coming into my Tumblr ask blog and calling me a sewer slide baiter. And some extra context that was brushed over or not largely discussed for the sake of remaining concise; there was one person, outside of my immediate friend group, who I told a lot of this situation to. This is brushed over in the video, but there's actually a lot to it. This was back in June-July or so, a couple of months after the April incident, where I was still extremely upset and not over it. I admit the way that I spilled this to him was *wrong.* It was stupidly irresponsible of me, because he had no business knowing, and I was definitely the master of my own fate in this situation. I asked him not to drag us into a group chat to "mediate" things, because I didn't want to speak to her and it would've made me upset. (Keep in mind he was only trying to make us patch things up because he wanted me to join an artist server so he could make more cool artist friends. He had, before, expressed jealousy that I was "friends with all of his idols" as well.) Against my wishes, he sent me a screenshot of her saying she was pissed off at me and that she also pitied me, which sent me into an extreme paranoia spiral. (Which, in hindsight, is funny because she spilled this after he asked, which goes to show she didn't actually only tell a couple of people, hm!) Which is not exactly her responsibility, but it freaked me out and I threw a full scale tantrum in his dms, blocked him, and proceeded to have a self harm incident that night. I left him alone for sixth months after, "patched things up" with Cyl (sent mutual apologies, I'll go into this in a bit) and then quietly unblocked him when I was going through a blocklist purge. On Christmas of last year he tried to send me a very callous little Merry Christmas, and I told him to step off, and clarified that the situation had lead to that happening. I wasn't upset that he was contacting me at all, just that he was completely brushing off and not apologizing for making me upset and going against my wishes. He tried to tell me he was a good person for ignoring the drama he started, I told him to back off again, and he begrudgingly accepted it and we mutually blocked each other. And, you know, him and Cyl were friends. I've heard through one of my mutual friends with this guy (ex-friends now to my knowledge) that he had been plotting this callout with her a couple of weeks before it dropped, which means me telling him to back off just SERIOUSLY gave him the worst impression. Bro was so mad I didn't say Merry Christmas back to him. With the mutual apologies; it may be important to note that a couple of weeks before the callout, I had briefly blocked her on Toyhouse. This is because, like before, she had *not acknowledged the apology I sent back to her,* which made me think she ignored it or didn't see it. And to be fair, I told her she didn't have to in the title! But she began to try to interact with me positively again and buy my adopts, and I couldn't tell if she was showing me common courtesy or if she was acting like she did before the April blowup, so I freaked out and blocked her. Keep in mind that she VERY MUCH stretched the truth with how she was treating me back before April. We interacted like FRIENDS. She compared us to our favorite characters who had a sibling dynamic in comic. She jokingly played around with me and drew headcanons we conceptualized. We roleplayed together in the server the blow up happened in. If she was so scared of me and upset with me, she shouldn't have treated me like this and lead me on before tearing me down in a semi-public server in the way she did. That is completely her fault. I don't regret blocking her for that, by the way, and I don't think it's something I need to apologize for. Rude, but we were very much not friends at this point, and mutual apologies doesn't mean it's going to be hunky dory and I'll be over years of drama. She can stew. After this came the vaguepost about her bases and telling people. This was less about the fact that I was "disregarding her apology" or backstabbing her, it was more about me not knowing her intentions and remembering her saying she was secretly scared of me all the way up until April. Considering the way she acts like she was still super upset with me despite being in cahoots and being super friendly about adopts in her little callout journal, I am genuinely glad that I did. I cannot trust her as far as I can throw her, because I cannot trust her to be honest with me. Especially when she said in her apology that she missed talking with me and was earnestly sorry for making me upset, while she's said THIS bullshit that completely conveys the opposite in her callout. I just wanted to get anecdotal with some stuff that lead up to this, apologies for the disgusting length of this comment. There were a few places I wanted to speak about my headspace in and admit fault for. Thank you for the video, MJ.

[@Pinkpostednotezz]

How do you have no Replies- Your iconic-

[@mochamonster6956]

God this hit closer than it should have for me, ugh, props to you for dealing with it so calmly and maturely. I go on a rant from here on out so feel free to ignore this comment, I just need to scream into the void to get all this off my chest. My friend is similarly a “big” name in a small fandom. A few months ago, he had to deal with an 15-year-old obsessive fan who would literally be in his dms all day every day demanding to know what he was doing, if he liked their art etc etc when my friend got justifiably tired of this crap and told the fan off and she immediately blew up in his face and accused him of stabbing her (?) and a lot more, and somehow got a big portion of the fandom on her side, making me friend apologise when all they’d done was be a little harsh on someone who should’ve know better (it get that she’s a kid, but come on I knew not to overstep boundaries like that when I was 15) Anyway, my friend blocked her until a few months later when someone came to him about how some of his anonymous fans had harassed the girl and her friend (who btw had not been involved at all until now) and sent them death threats. It was absolutely heartbreaking how much this messed up my friend and how much he blamed himself for what his fans had done. The girl wormed her way back to him aswell and immediately began to bug him again, though more subtly this time. A bit more time passes and then, lo and behold, the crazy fan was the one who had been sending their friend those disgusting anonymous messages all along. SHE DROVE HER OWN FRIEND TO A SUICIDE ATTEMPT AND THEN BLAMED IT ON MY FRIEND’S FANS. Absolutely disgusting. I don’t care if she’s only 15, I knew better and she should too. I hear she’s now on Pinterest trying to get people to think she didn’t do it, I’ve never genuinely hated someone before but I think I might be getting close Sorry for the stupid long comment this has just been weighing on me

[@HattyKdy]

honestly you're better than 80% of commentary youtubers out there. You state your position on the situation in a clear way, you're not biased towards any of the sides and you try to give them both a chance to state their points, this is the first video that i watched about the situation and i already have an opinion formed and don't feel like i need to watch another video to see if i missed some tiny detail

[@CarpHarp]

after seeing soo many people get into dramas on the internet for years, made me not wanna have any art friends as I've seen soo many friendships end bc "I don't like how you drew the hair, it looks like my oc 🤧" kills me

[@pearlthenephilim]

Sadly people do that with clothing as well... even when it's something they'd wear irl

[@-Vivixxa.]

Thank you for addressing this in a mature matter, as well as telling people that attacking mocking, or invalidating Silva is wrong regardless of her actions.

[@flurryc_animates]

When Xtremity said "I'll unwatch others" they never unwatched me even tho I had Visible art of Rhe-ima (Love your sisters art btw!!, am planning on art to try and help) And I was a "friend" of hers (i won't be now, This did bring memories of my past which no detail will be said) I do hope Rhe-Ima gets better, He is very dear to my heart as he is one of my biggest Idols and people I look up too Best regards and wishes FlurryC

[@greyson_9118]

Thank you am for that. As an indirect witness of all of this regarding my opinions abt the subject of cancel culture, this encapsulated it perfect. Very well done and all of why was said was great

[@chthonicArbiter]

Though I'm not in any art circles where I would have seen this particular situation, nor am I in any circles where I see these events play out very often, my personal friend-group has shown me the consequences of cancel culture, especially between those who are more immature. I wont delve into the details, for reasons that I assume are fairly obvious, however, I am currently working on making sure that I can have strong healthy relationships with those who ended up on the wrong side of the situation, despite my own inaction in what happened. It is incredibly easy to take something too far for personal grudges and biases, especially when you have a larger group backing you than the other person. This video encapsulates the core problem with these sorts of situations pretty well, and I'm very glad your sister didn't end up having to face complete ruin due to what happened. And on another note, I always love how sharp and clean your art tends to be! Certainly want to work on encapsulating that feel in my own art, haha! Can't wait to see more content from you soon! 👍

[@4NTH0NY_D0E]

Just saying, you would be an amazing lawyer, I would pay billions of dollars to get you as my lawyer, I would never lose. Great art too!

[@dessy9066]

This video seems very well thought out. Thank you for sharing this! Love the video as always

[@sowrgummiwrmz]

Imagine sitting through an entire movie about art community drama/controversy. Totally not me... 😅

[@cdmilky]

Xtremityy says things in such ways, theyre not just shady, theyre manipulative, I do believe shes in distress but my god if this isn't remorseless guilt tripping

[@I_missthesage]

This reminds me of the dollyguts drama

[@quilaviper]

Oof, yeah, I used to follow Xtremityy, but I got really weird vibes from the vent post spam because of how manipulative/premeditated it all felt. They've got cute art, but I just can't stand this sort of behaviour. :/ I especially hate double standards, so the whole "I was just a kid UwU" but bashing and being so unforgiving the YOUNGER kid in that situation is like, bruh, wtf. Lmao. But yeah, this whole thing is littered in hypocrisy.

[@Weeping_Roses...]

I think the constant loop within everything that goes on within these type of Petty friend dramas. Is the factor that nobody ever tries to listen to the other side and like to see drama cause they either find it funny, entertaining, or want to join into the hate bandwagon that follows cause they think it's cool, someone is making them join along, or doing it cause they have nothing better to do. The fact's of how no friend drama is ever handled in private nowadays, is a growing issue that happens in the art community and more as well. I'm glad to see that people like you are going through this to open up the evidence and truths of the drama, and not sending a bandwagon of hate towards the guilty party of what went on, and showing equal consideration of all of them in the situation

[@PupkinPumpkin]

The drawing of Freddy is so cute! she has my body type!!

[@hideaki7882]

Love me some drama, Nice drawing btw

[@FutureMint]

I said I was gonna watch the whole thing, but some of the stuff triggers me so everyone else have a good time watching!

[@BOMBdotCOM958]

I like to watch your video's while drawing it's good for background.

[@_viper4913]

While I think you used some of the fallacy's incorrectly and used some yourself. I think the message of the video is overall really good. as well as the amount of dedication you put into the video is very clear. great job overall

[@Aru8008]

Omg I watched the whole thing and forgot to comment forgive me 😭

[@PupkinPumpkin]

Ngl I think the 'playground nicknames' are because of English not being their first language in the same way 'heart attacks' was.

[@rottika]

Tbh, I'd agree. That's probably the case, I wouldn't be surprised if the language barrier was the reason for the insults being "playground nicknames". Doesn't really change my point about it being ad hominem and immature though. :p

[@PupkinPumpkin]

@@rottika You're right

[@Bonkerlawl]

sorta unrelated I saw a roblox community go in shambles because of someone getting "cancelled" for something they didn't do

[@tenkazuu]

normalize sorting your personal drama privately and quit trying to garner an audience just because you want to get back at someone

[@oopsie1157]

49:09 real

[@theblackcatgirl7013]

This might be old and you might not see this but just for in case I'm asking anyway, how are we so sure that all the vent art was made in the same timespan? How are we so sure that it was planned? Maybe they just had made the vent images in a stretch of time before and they decided to just bring them in to prove they've been sad for a while or for sympathy points ig?

[@rheima]

considering most of these images work in a sequence (with the same colors, backgrounds, even showing her character slowly growing more and more upset while hugging a pillow etc), it's safe to say they were purposefully drawn for some kind of vent. it's hard to say if they were drawn in the past with the intent of adding them to a different "vent," as that's just arguing intent, but their existence here at all goes against her argument of this not being premeditated (or prewritten without revision). especially because she literally writes poetry at the end of the post lol

[@theblackcatgirl7013]

​@@rheima Thanks for posting this 💕

[@SaltedRain]

Woah this is a long vid

[@Yourwaifuisntreal]

Sorry to be that weeb, but: An ad-hominem is a logical fallacy use to discredit the person making the argument/point by attacking their character rather than attacking the merits of said argument/point. Example: >Person 1 makes an argument in favor of not revoking Roe v. Wade. >Person 2 makes a bad faith argument that person 1 is wrong because they're a blue-haired, feminist wokie/athiest, cringe buzzwords, etc. ^^This is an ad-hominem. If person 2 rebuttles with an argument, addressing person 1's argument and then following up with calling them a string of buzzwords wouldn't qualify as an ad-hom. It'll be rude, but they did attack the merit of person 1's argument so it wouldn't be an ad-hom.

[@rottika]

Ty for the explanation! But you're not being a "weeb" by explaining it???

[@Yourwaifuisntreal]

@@rottika - "Weeb" was used to substitute the word "A-hole" because I'm weird like that.

[@Shimamon27]

...Basically dragged out child drama where each holds grudges and wants attention from people, and everyone play-pretend that this is a court case with witnesses and accusations, and the whole thing turns into over-blown trial of things that don't matter by people that don't really care and makes those involved go into intense sadness and anger mode, because everyone are being needlessly aggressive about it... For fun. The internet didn't change the fact that young people waste their time on petty squabbles.

[@rottika]

Yep, pretty much. Just a bunch of petty old stuff that should have never been made public in the first place, especially when both players had each other mutually blocked and should have moved on. Though the internet never changed the fact that young people get into petty fights, it did change the fact that they can ruin each other and blast each other on a pretty large scale because of them, unfortunately. :/

[@wasabiewilly]

when you make your voice high pitched you kinda sound like circus baby