Yakuza 0 - Substories: Passport To Pizza

[@kowalski4198]

"Good pizza's like a new marriage. Enjoy it while it's hot." - Kazuma Kiryu, 1988

[@zackoz2202]

dead meme but considering your profile picture I couldn't resist Kowalski analysis!

[@capitatecab6049]

It seems like a fucked up phrase to be honest

[@angelusvastator1297]

Based Kiryu

[@UndyingHatred_]

@@capitatecab6049 eh not really, could've been a whole lot worse.

[@bluesnake1713]

Now imagine a pizza place to using that line.

[@CALLthaDoctah]

the pizza guy in the back makes this so stupidly hilarious

[@morphadomus2385]

"You did good kiryu...ya did good....OH I HAVE A DELIVERY TO MAKE" And he runs away with a slice of pizza in his mouth.

[@Become-Eggplant]

Pizza Boy's Mind: Pizza has the power to bring people together. I'm glad you've learn that Kiryu-san. Now back to delivering pizza.

[@hami308]

when will ready 2 rumble remaster come??

[@burninator14]

he was the mastermind behind the whole substory

[@hami308]

What happened to midway company? Nobody make any boxing game on ps4

[@RandomDuude]

From now on, I want all my pizza delivered by a 7ft tall muscular japanese man wearing a suit while dramatic music plays.

[@salmanmammu2473]

He's 6ft not 7ft

[@deviljho4260]

salman mammu he’s talking about shakedown

[@hami308]

@@chonk1958 actually he mentioned with suit so he definetly talking about kiryu

[@francosalazar4639]

@@hami308 well the first two shakedowns also wear suits

[@Flaxdosh]

Why not both at a same time

[@Blackan]

You gotta admit, even with Mistakes like this even when things don't go the way they planned Kiyru is really nice

[@a130inthesky]

It's the thought that counts.

[@shafiqali7051]

He is!!!!! Even he is yakuza and once a muscle for hire, he had a "no kill" principle that he carried all through his life!!!!!! Beating people to bloody pulp was his thing but he was never a murderer and torturer in fact I bet that he even despise those things!!!!! If kiryu had a dairies he can call all of his side quest as KIRYU BIZZARE ADVENTURE!!!!...... 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂!!!!!!!!!!!! HE is muscle for hire He is a respected family man He is true Ally and friend He is maybe not innocent man At least he try redeem himself He was peace maker in kamurocho underworld He is kazuma kiryu THE DRAGON OF DOJIMA THE 4TH CHAIRMAN OF TOJO CLAN HE IS THE LIVING LEGEND IN YAKUZA WORLD!!!!

[@reestablishingrome]

@@shafiqali7051 uh, ok

[@shafiqali7051]

@@zakaria653 just my stupid rambling

[@shafiqali7051]

@@reestablishingrome my terrible poem..... 😁😁😁..... Just my stupid rambling

[@Didoaja]

11:10 Whoever wrote that line should be proud

[@nahrafe]

No, it's 14:06

[@Hikaru0kamiki]

That shit was funny as fuck to where I was laying on my bed laughing my ass off.

[@hisokah]

I'm wheezing so hard rn Funniest Shit I've heard today

[@flamingspinach]

@@nahrafe The line at 14:06 was there in the original Japanese version but the line at 11:10 is new in the English version, lol. At that point in the JP version the guy just spits some generic sounding threat

[@Hikaru0kamiki]

@@hisokah i would've said. "Now respectfully kick your ass for that line" 🤣

[@harrid14mei]

"I'm gonna kick that pizza so far up your ass, you'll taste the pepperoni" Golden line lmao

[@nullset2]

Fucking SEGA is so brilliant

[@ravingPyrotechnician]

did kiryu just shove that whole slice in his mouth?!

[@phantomrider8845]

It seems so. x D

[@a130inthesky]

He was hungry after running a mile getting the pizza there and beating that guy's ass.

[@reestablishingrome]

yep 😂😂

[@calebcalhoun9847]

Inhaled it

[@bluesnake1713]

That pizza must've been delicious to just simply take bites.

[@legoman7041]

Let's talk about the fact that a large pizza costs 30 dollars in 1980's money.

[@JohnDoe-vq9ck]

Its some good ass pizza

[@AlexanderIksander]

@@JohnDoe-vq9ck don't know how good a pizza can be that has ass in it...

[@SharkHours]

@@AlexanderIksander That pizza better give me immortality if I'm paying that much.

[@Zelousmarineinspace]

Japanese don’t really eat pizza for the most part

[@Javer80]

To be fair, maybe she tacked on a service fee. Since, y'know, helping confused customers order food from completely different restaurants isn't really in the job description.

[@Malysitos]

1:49 I love the hilariously unnecessary zoom-in towards Kiryu’s face as he deciphers what the lady is saying

[@clapped-cheeks]

Also 2:19 pfpfppf

[@duongtran9995]

Unnecessary? Bruh it's very necessary.

[@Shock-edSnake]

He does that every time he thinks or is shocked

[@Tanner31904]

Kiryu channels his inner Peter Parker to deliver pizzas

[@devilleon7]

PIZZA TAIMU!

[@FilbertAllTheWay]

If I flip the pizza Aziz sensei will flip out!

[@bluesnake1713]

@@devilleon7 *Looks at the clock* You're late. *Looking at the pizza* I'm not paying for those.

[@klockenberg2299]

Inner Peter Parker to be consumed by rage and vengeance and almost kill Shibusawa, but stopped by another character at the end.

[@БогданКрименюк]

Harry Nishikiyama

[@ramonignacio856]

This was Jotaro Kujo level in terms of stupidity from kiryu,even just right after that producer sidequest where he had well thought out reasons for each action

[@kimashitawa8113]

Ramonignacio And in the end it all works out, just like in JoJo... *...*

[@Kujo_Soul9742]

Damn what did jotaro do to you?

[@kalenoodles8250]

bitterafterlaughter AYE AYE AYE......Jotaro had his moments don’t out Josuke like that 😤

[@Mad_Dog_of_the_Regime]

@bitterafterlaughter Part 4 Jotaro, i would assume.

[@chahasri7423]

How dare you insult me

[@kokobain]

I love how you ran right past Mr. Shakedown.

[@hammerbro1947]

Mr. Shakedown: Hey Kiry-- Kiryu: Nope. Too busy delivering pizza!

[@jackmclean4120]

Shakedown: ''KIIIIRY-'' Kiryu: ''NOT NOW''

[@MagicDetective543]

Well, you couldn't blame Kiryu for the mistake. The dialogue made it seemed like you have to substitute P for B...

[@bigsanctions1142]

And then you see her say "adbanced" (2:44) instead of "advanced" and you wonder how Kiryu didn't catch that.

[@florix1057]

there was also "bery" i think, the outcome was foreshadowed twice

[@flamingspinach]

In the Japanese version they had her saying "h" for all the sounds "p", "b" and "v". And also saying "s" instead of "z", "k" instead of "g", and some others. (It sounds complicated but basically her accent was like if you removed the 「゛」 and 「゜」 marks from the written Japanese language.) So she was saying "hisa" which doesn't really sound biased towards "pizza" compared to "visa". In fact it sounds more like "visa", so it made Kiryu look even dumber than in the English version, lol.

[@klockenberg2299]

@@florix1057 and eberyone

[@keifujitora6587]

....Bizza... the first thing I thought up was "visa", actually. Since she mentioned passport and all.

[@bluesnake1713]

And the only way of work was the visa.

[@luckyduckydrivingschool3615]

I can't wait to dig into a delicious slice of Visa. I'll pay for it with my credit card, do you take Pizza?

[@joaquinpaoloramirez3311]

Yea me too

[@coffucoffuuu]

Nah Im dumb asf I also thought she said “Pizza” 💀💀💀

[@cazadorcazado08]

That pizza delivery music though!

[@linko9720]

i use spiderman pizza theme for this mission tho XD best decision ever

[@foxygramp_1973]

This is like going into McDonalds and asking them to order dominos.

[@phantomrider8845]

You know the saying that "love can make you do crazy things?" Well here's the creep's case.

[@bluesnake1713]

With the passport?

[@sonny_crockett]

I love the part where Kiryu was trying to get the "bizza" to Samantha before it goes cold. The music made everything even funnier and it was like a race against time for some pizza.

[@DemetedP]

I failed the delivery segment literally 1 meter away from her and so Kiryu decided that the pizza wasn't good enough so I had to run back and get another one to try again, haha!

[@hammerbro1947]

Wow! So close yet so far...

[@adenbaden315]

14:23 Kiryu eats pizza normally

[@morganfreemanward3729]

Special instructions: “Sent me your cutest delivery boy”

[@specterRaven]

Thats the most hypest track i ever heard played in history of pizza delivery

[@chappiescollectables]

Sounds like initial D

[@mrlip1404]

Laughs in Spider -Man 2

[@kohimame]

These substories are wild, like, genuinely wild This was a rollercoaster of emotions

[@labenvenci1584]

*Hey, that Yakuza just jacked that guys pizza!*

[@bluesnake1713]

Now we just need Kiryu saving two kids trying to catch the ball from an oncoming truck and boom.

[@leoncoben6983]

@@bluesnake1713 That'd make him a villain. Denying those kids a chance to be isekaied by trunk-kun, the inhumanity.

[@bluesnake1713]

Well this one is on the house! *Slams Leon with a pizza box and then a tree trunk*

[@PeptoAbismol]

What a story they'll be telling their kids.

[@gaminggoddess85]

Oh Kiryu.

[@nickroberts501]

This is the closest Kazuma can get to running with the Olympic Torch. I mean, considering how fast he runs, and how he treats the pizza...

[@theyoshifankid]

Ooook this one's a bit odd. He stole her passport so he could force her to be his sex worker, tried to beat up Kiryu because he thought he was dating Samantha... and apparently he loves her? yeah no. Sounds more like an obsession to me. While I would say she made a wise choice in marrying him because it would enable her to support her family which I think is the main thing he most certainly is no prince charming.

[@bluesnake1713]

I don't know how that happened, but yeah...

[@wchan39]

Just another day in Kamurocho.

[@leoncoben6983]

Didn't he also rougher her up when she tried running? I'm all for redemption but this guy's confession certainly doesn't excuse the beat down. If it was only the passport thing I'd think it's her decision but I would've handed his ass over to the cops for beating her plus it sounded like he was regularly exploiting foreign women into the sex trade so maybe just killing him would've been better.

[@hakira2725]

The substory is great but knowing she married an abusive, obsessed sex trafficker left me real disappointed

[@PixelSubstream]

If it was Tanimura instead of Kiryu he would have got his ass kicked so hard.

[@Bananajoa111]

14:24 that's one weird way to eat pizza Kiryu XD

[@bluesnake1713]

Pretty sure it's possible to eat the whole slice...except with crust to it.

[@jaderabbit898]

Blue Snake171 Or it was just hot. After all, it came immediately after the hot pizza line.

[@TucBroder]

So he goes into a burger joint and makes them order a pizza from a rival? I need to try this soon...

[@nahrafe]

Imagine asking for pizza in a burger place, and got helped to buy pizza in other place by the waitress there..

[@thefurrydoc3069]

Welcome to pizza hut how can I help you? Can I get cheese burger.

[@klockenberg2299]

Baskin Robbins in Ant-Man be like.

[@MrBronx819]

I love how this is one of the few time based parts and they even made a special track just for this substory, the developers are mad geniuses

[@NoMoreHeroes75]

Gotta love Kazuma

[@hammerbro1947]

When life doesn't get you visa, make pizza!

[@debilman9065]

*Bizza

[@subparqualityhuman]

5:50 dude just straight up yanked a pizza out of thin air

[@blazeofglory4053]

The fact that you’re delivering pizza, the music, the walking animation, and all of it happening so suddenly... It all pairs so well together to make this whole quest line absolutely perfect.

[@emperorblack3409]

“(Samanthas in trouble, and it’s all because of my pizza.)”

[@anonemoose8628]

I want that Bizza B O N E L E S S DEADASS

[@key-wf3ev]

*Puts on the spider man 2 pizza theme*that better XD

[@Infernape7890]

the keyblade detective Did that while doing this quest.

[@tomassanchez0]

Worst thing is, when I was playing the mission for the first time I also thought she wanted a pizza. It never crossed my mind she was saying "Visa"

[@violetevergardenbruh]

🅱IZZA JA🅱AN 🅱LEASE..... 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌

[@mosesvlademiryanoc8202]

Farhan Zahran 𝚇𝙳

[@JackHanma267]

Lmao

[@nozie677]

Lol

[@domokuncosplays]

HA🅱️🅱️Y 😂👌

[@nozie677]

🅱️lease 🅱️iryu 😂😂😂😂👌👌👌👌

[@WatcherofMUGEN]

A few minutes into the conversation with the woman and I already got what she really wants. Oh, well. Hilarity does wonders.

[@bluesnake1713]

Plus even mistakes can also lead opportunity when you think about it.

[@Abnormalname9329]

Only in Yakuza can you meet a foreign woman, deliver her pizza on accident, beat the crap out of the man she used to work for, then eat the pizza afterwards like you’re best buds. Man I love Yakuza.

[@SmirkJerk]

Am I the only one that thinks the story arc's conclusion is f'd up?

[@leoncoben6983]

No. I was thinking about how uncomfortable I was with all this. The asshole beat her for trying to run and sounds as if he is exploiting foreign women in a regular basis and not just Samantha. If it was just stealing the passport without beating I'd been fine with.

[@mmyr8ado.360]

It's a sad reality for japayukis working there.

[@guhh8792]

You know there is something off when the "Wacky" music starts playing

[@DoctorFail]

"If i flip the pizzas, Samantha-san will flip out" -Kazuma "Pizzala time-mu" Kiryu

[@nuclearhardt]

I dunno delivery guy, pizza can be really good when cold

[@bloodangelxx]

especially if if chocolate and peanut butter...leave one night and BECOME THE BEST BREAKFAST

[@kimashitawa8113]

bloodangelxx I'm curious now, tell me more...

[@SharkHours]

@@bloodangelxx You've intrigued me. Can you tell me more?

[@bloodangelxx]

@@SharkHours about what?

[@SharkHours]

@@bloodangelxx About that chocolate and peanut butter thing. It has me interested.

[@Sephiewoth]

The most intense pizza delivery in history.

[@TimewithRen]

Quite a product placement for Pizza-La, even having their own product-related quest is quite something..

[@JellyJman]

Without a doubt one of the funniest sub stories ever. The ending is so funny from the cheesy music, to Kiryu calling a marriage like a pizza, to Kiryu gulping the entire pizza in one bite and calling it good, plus the good music that plays when you have to deliver the pizza. 10/10 substory

[@n-extrafries-surprise]

Man, I want a yakuza man deliver pizza for me.

[@AloneTraveler444]

Who doesn't?

[@_space_cat_]

West: Spider Man delivering pizza to midi arrangement of Italian folklore song East: Dragon of Dojima delivering pizza to "Push it to the limit" cover played on $3 synthesizer Different cultures, different views, but all united by awesomeness of fresh and hot bizza.

[@randomotaku9986]

Despite being a Yakuza kiryu sure is is nice to people.

[@12yellowcab]

Imagine their wedding photo after getting his face smashed in multiple times

[@aqibkhan2491]

this made me tear up... this was lovely

[@phantomrider8845]

Indeed.

[@leoncoben6983]

Isn't that creep forcing other women into the sex trade? He didn't exactly make it clear she was the only girl plus he roughed her up which is why you needed to give her a healing item in the first place. How are you people casually forgetting this? Or am I just perceiving it all wrong?

[@Natendowii]

The Yakuza Pizza...is the Pizza, for you and me!

[@phildavid3182]

That gameplay was one of my best message I ever watched for my soft spots 🥰.

[@gamebrainjagras4193]

Not a ton of games would have been able to pull her broken language off. It’s very believable for this kind of miscommunication.

[@unnamed773]

14:23 what did Kiryu do to the pizza.

[@bluesnake1713]

Devour the slice in whole.

[@DrSabot-A]

He inhaled it, the whole slice

[@Phoebe5448]

He unhinged his jaw and swallowed it in one gulp. Because Kiryu can do that.

[@MajorZero61]

2:45 "This country is so adBanced." Sneaky.

[@mikkobryanmalinao9440]

KIRYU: PIZZA TIME

[@Flaxdosh]

Samantha: I’m not paying for this

[@sabuslice6400]

This is the best substory in this game i swear

[@StickBreightley]

Fun fact: the amount of time they give you to deliver the pizza is the exact same length as the pizza delivery music from Spider-Man 2

[@chrisliu5460]

4:20 Mr. Shakedown should have a lot of pizzas LOL

[@Inuyashaluva89]

Thank you the map is just completely blank on buildings just blank

[@Inuyashaluva89]

I meant *no buildings

[@TitanChromeE]

14:23 the way kiryu “enjoys” the pizza is hilarious

[@charlesbrioche6745]

this is sad... yet hilarious at the same time

[@ravenheart229]

Problem with this is I forget where the girl was and you can't mark a destination in the game

[@bloodangelxx]

wow...next time i got to any burger shop i will ask for pizza

[@bluesnake1713]

Maybe a Cheeseburger mixed pizza.

[@12yellowcab]

4:58 Dammit I thought this would've been like the Krusty Krab

[@mizublackriver7021]

Who the fuck in Sega wrote that sidequest. Legendary

[@jojolyneee]

Okay I understand Kiryu got her the pizza but did he make it BONELESS?

[@bluesnake1713]

I can't imagine how chicken wings on pizza would go.

[@davidwithpizza9699]

I love that it takes a couple of seconds for kiryu to start moving at a brisk pace.

[@musko8129]

To this day, I still wonder what happens if you don't make it in time.

[@TucBroder]

You start over. Go back to the burger place and order again.

[@leomomoeda10]

"Damn, pizzas cold, time to do this again"

[@LordTacos]

Well, my brother worked at Pizza-La.

[@oswarz5294]

i see myself in Kiryu when he went to that burger shop to buy a freakin' pizza 🙂

[@Helgrind44]

That means that Yakuza has a pizza theme

[@gamebrainjagras4193]

The funny thing is that you can see the twist coming a mile away

[@shiqrov]

I knew it was VISA before kiryu orders the pizza, because VISA and PASSPORTS are used in airports

[@milanvondrich9749]

*THAT'S SOME PIZZA PASSION RIGHT THERE.*

[@NotTheRealURL]

I wonder, how exactly does this mission work in other languages? Surly those two words no longer sound the same in most cases right?

[@kinamiya1]

Godammit now i want pizza

[@devilleon7]

Same.

[@CritScratch]

ok what the fuck was with that pizza guy? was he stalking kiryu to see how he would enjoy the pizza?

[@angelusvastator1297]

This substory feels so Hollywood love it

[@SkyBlooSims]

Always a good ending when everyone chomps down on some pizza~

[@oleanderkazzy_]

This girl's speaking in 🅱️

[@kushagrachaturvedy2821]

This is the one of the best substories in the series

[@hellbunniez3]

the slow pan to the delivery guy watching them eat pizza is so funny 😭

[@MayaMachina-n8s]

6:21 the music is... imma say it EXTRA THICC!

[@markas_kasuyademomanisresp6516]

Kiryu be like: *Pizza time 🐉*

[@RoyShouriMustango]

Later Kiryu goes to the karaoke and sings baka mitai

[@WeetZe]

i laugh so hard when i played this substory for first time and this is best substory for me

[@n00b_ninja]

I love how the music is in sync with Kiryu's steps

[@Ecksos]

pasuupoto to piza desu

[@goharderthanyesterday3935]

The way kiryu eats the pizza is so hilarious

[@reestablishingrome]

K i r a y u s a n

[@Booy-h8d]

Wanna know the funniest thing about this quest? Pizza-La is real life pizza delivery service, so this entire side quest was basically an ad campaign on how good pizza is there. We were basically given a commercial quest and all of us loved it.

[@pizzaman9859]

14:34 goated pizza man

[@Ginfeldi]

someone that loves pizza so much they can't function properly sounds like a Yakuza side quest giver so we can't really blame Kiryu can we

[@chrisredfield2938]

Look like Mr shakedown want pizza too

[@itzofcdaniel]

Bizza I need my bizza blease helb me blease