YES, You Can Heal Childhood PTSD Symptoms -- These Actions HELP.

[@alisoncanty1894]

"Learning to make money is self-empowerment." This is absolutely true and something I'm learning right now. I love this video, Anna, because I finally feel understood by a professional for the first time in my life. Can definitely relate to the "abandonment melange" because it landed me in a hospital many years ago but also everything else. Your point about choosing friends who are working on themselves is like gold to me because I think this is a huge part of healing, too, since you can get mired down with people who are remaining in their dysfunction. I need to do The Daily Practice. Wish I would have known about all this 29 years ago because my life would have been so different but now I do! Thank you!! 💝💖

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad you're here now! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@FlyHoneyBre]

so true. I don't know how to make money and that's been really hard lately.

[@joycejones5881]

😊😊

[@Zeadalamusic]

​@@CrappyChildhoodFairy❤

[@mattkinsella9856]

I can absolutely relate! I spent most of my 20s and early 30s making a lot of money and it helped massively with my childhood trauma (in that it helped me get far away, create genuine healthy boundaries, so I could be myself). In recent years I felt guilty and worried I was being shallow and too money oriented but now I see for me personally it's self empowering and makes me feel safe in my independence, so I can stop feeling negative about that aspect of my drive to make money 😊

[@psykmeistr]

1. Learn to emotionally regulate yourself. 2. Save your social and romantic energy for people who can reciprocate. The attraction to unavailable people is very tempting but needs to stop. 3. Get really good at ending relationships that aren't reciprocal. Be aware of abandonment malange (mashup): rage, fear, and sadness. 4. Choose friends who are working on themselves and are doing things you admire. 5. Find activities and hobbies that bring you growth. Take a class, learn about money, etc. 6. Look for people who are wise and fair. Morally good people. Stop crap-fitting like you had to as a child with CPTSD. 7. Seek to be a generous and charitable person. If you're staying in relationships with people who let you down and then you have to nag them, it turns you into someone you're not. How do I feel after I hang out with this person? Inspired and energized? Or drained and bad about yourself? 8. When a good relationship has broken down, keep your words minimal. Learn to apologize for your part without bringing up all of their part. Check your agenda. Do your exits gently and kindly. 9. Acknowledge the suffering you've been though, but focus more on the now; on what you can change now. How to deal with your triggers now. 10. Seek out and practice techniques that actually help you, aka The Daily Practice 🙏🏼

[@pamcornelius9122]

Thank you.

[@marciethurlow5961]

❤

[@GTaichou]

+

[@lisamcgaffney5708]

X X

[@clarkl4177]

You are speaking life to MANY of us who have seen hope die. Thank you 💕

[@hv935]

I feel safe and seen when I listening to you.

[@spursvannistlroy]

Yes, so do I! 🧡

[@Maria7Maria]

Me too ❤

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Yes and so comforting

[@Underachiever_Files]

Yeop.

[@Syllacrostics]

❤

[@SuraDoes]

The emotional dysregulation is TOO much. It happens so quickly. You snap and then you immediately have to apologize for acting out of character. Then you feel shame or guilt. Sometimes the triggers are so tiny you can’t identify them.

[@ittyfittykelly]

Exactly my issues

[@mystic627]

When I am triggered, I feel like I have been caught in a tornado that drags me emotionally through the mud. I feel totally out of control, hopeless and helpless and very scared. I really need to learn how to deal with the triggers.

[@cathrinegray2947]

Get a Therapist who deals with CPTSD- I have found one and you can get better. I just have started with this therapist- but the hope I have to get my mind better is just so exciting for me- I have only realized what the crux of my issues are and I'm over 50. It's never too late- ever. Best of good wishes for you.

[@Rossbach2]

@@mystic627 I think that what Anna is suggesting is that if we can name the fear (the tornado, in your case), we can manage it, which greatly reduces its power over us.

[@estherconstantakis6304]

I have struggled with emotional dysregulation for years. I never knew what it was until I found this channel. I felt so bad, because when it was triggered, I would run from people without any explanation. I would get so frustrated, unable to speak, and I would just run away. I always hated that I did that, but could not control it or explain it to the person I did it too.

[@TheMidnightModder]

"It's okay to feel your feelings, just don't let all of them manifest into actions." Is a good way of understanding one of your points.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing this! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@karenr5870]

“Feeling your feelings is important, but feeling your Dysregulation is destructive!” Wow! This is so on point 😮

[@mystic627]

Well feeling your disregulation can’t be helped dealing with it is another matter.

[@laurier125]

I wish I had heard this in my 20’s. Better late than never. I’m 62 and I’m looking forward to learning another way to live. Thanks!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you're with us and open to healing! Nika@TeamFairy

[@bushcraftcreationsbykristi2590]

I’m sending the list of ten to my 20 yr old b/g twins. I’ve just now started to heal and I see soooo much of this in ALL of us. I’m an alcoholic and just realized I’m a hoarder, so they need this just as much, if not more than me. I sure wish I’d seen this decades ago!

[@ginaleith1510]

I completely understand and empathise! I'm still going to try too - it's not too late. Don't give up! ❤

[@bihippychic]

thank you soooo much for commenting that you are brave enough to start this journey. i am brave too

[@lisaibrindle2230]

Me too❤

[@MjF809]

I saw a phd that is a trauma expert. He said a study was done about support groups and medical research proved that re hashing or listening to other peoples traumas makes the trauma more severe. We absorb positivity and negativity from others.

[@codacreator6162]

Can. I think the consensus is that rehashing your trauma can retraumatize you. But I think it’s important to do at least once, to get it all compartmented. Then, you can go about dealing with it. I think it’s equally damaging not to address trauma at all. How do you know you’re dealing with it all?

[@june.w.1288]

When you bring up your trauma or listen to other people 's trauma you relive those feelings and maybe now, in a safe place, you can express your anger about what they did to you. I think noone can heal without at least once going through this because these things have to resurface and now, as adults, we can find ways with how to deal with that pain and learn to regulate ourselves and learn how to live a "normal" life. What can become a problem though is, when a person is stuck in rage over what happened and cannot move forward. So yes, feeling that pain sadness and rage is unfortunately part of the process but the goal is to become a wise regulated graceful person like The Crappy Childhood fairy. The goal is to heal and not to feel constantly those emotions on steroids but normal regulated feelings.

[@hasnachandika]

Just wanted to share that I had a realisation of what CPTSD is.. I have a rabbit - he is cute but he very often bites to get attention so I have to be very aware of where he is when he is outside of the cage. So not long ago there was a cat in my flat for a week. Cat is a similar size to the rabbit, moves quietly, but does not bite. When I was doing my things and noticed the cat moving towards me, I immediately started to pull away or defend myself from reflex. Although there was no reason to defend from a cat, I very often still had the reflex. So bringing it to adulthood - i see now that I have a reflex of defending and hiding myself from people. Even from people who would never bite.

[@alerdman2002]

Yeah but most of them do LOL I don't like people

[@mygdaliafierro0731]

I can be a horrible person to others who don’t deserve my anger….then my guilt for being so angry. Your videos are a blessing!!! Being sexually abused, beaten, verbally called a “whore” by my mother at 4yrs old….I can go on and on with the pain. I do want to stop the damage! I want to show love and kindness.

[@danabennett4098]

You WILL get there - stopping the damage. I had a narcissist mother who sexualized the entire family. And she got other family members to do her dirty work. All I can say is - HANG in there, and follow the good advice, as much as possible. Take in the unconditional love when it comes along - "love without strings attached". You WILL know it when it shows up - but honestly, not right away. Just let the "right and good" people stay long enough to show that. This video and the Good Practice is the BEST thing to come along for me in a Very Long Time. But others preceded it. Even at 76 years old, I'm a Work In Progress!! You have LOTS of company

[@monikagin]

Hey, I am in the same boat as you.. We are all trying to be better 1 step at a time.

[@angiebarraza423]

❤

[@mandylee7377]

I relate to you so much

[@frappalina]

This is so helpful for me. When someone gets angry at me and calls me out for behaviour that I don't feel should have offended them I often explode in anger (I was punished and beaten for small things so it triggers me immensely) or, at best, I shut down and start to resent them so hard that I end up cutting them out of my life... and it it so hard to apologize. whenever I do that, it feels like abusing myself. But I understand that it is just projection of my childhood trauma on other people.

[@greyladydamiana]

That’s absolutely what it sounds like - - you’re treating them like you want to treat your parents. As much as you want to rage at your parents and cut them out, you wind up repeating that pattern on somebody else.

[@annagro2225]

OMG you are explaining my life

[@Phoenix487559]

I really love Dr Maté, but man girl you hit the nail right on the head. I’ve been teaching, counseling, and HAD read so many books and have gone to therapy for years and why doesn’t anyone know about this? I was a Chaplain Assistant in the Army and man, we could have really used your advice when dealing with Soldiers and their families too. Because as a lower enlisted person in the military you joined bc you had no other options. Your whole life was trauma and then you live and work around a bunch of other people who are traumatized so we all just fuel each other. And this leads to being very self destructive as a young person in the military. We need this message more than ever right now!

[@secretivescorpio891]

Joining the army as a junior at 16, two weeks after finishing school was my escape from home

[@lifescalling8080]

I love the way you can explain such heavy things while still keeping a lighthearted tone. It makes it so much easier to absorb and accept the information that is needed for personal healing and growth. I really appreciate what you are doing! ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for your kind words :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@jaytoussaint9598]

It’s a gift that not very many people have and should be cherished. I’m glad she uses it.

[@tomkore7865]

It's very difficult for me to heal myself I'm 75 too late. I've been neglected by parents molested by my brother, molested by my neighbor, all this before I was 9 yes old. I try to forget but it comes back to make me feel sorry for myself. But I like listening to you, and I thank you.

[@MaleneMaare]

⁠@@tomkore7865Dear you, I'm 61 and I have the same feeling sometimes, that it's too late. Your comment made me think about that we have to look at how to make our today a little bit better than yesterday - not that grand 'feeling absolutely happy' that we think we can see in others and envy them for - and loose all energy because there are too many steps on that ladder. You are beginning your healing by being here, listening to Anna and reading comments. That is actually a big step considering how new the CPTSD diagnosis is. (I'm not sure it's even recognized yet in my country Denmark). It IS very unfair that we will maybe never get that complete feeling of happiness and being at ease with ourselves and the world, but we can do alot to get a little better if we break it down into more manageable pieces. We have the right to feel sorry for ourselves because much bad happened to us, but it can also become a shield that prevents us from a lot of small good things that could make us feel better. Try to look at everytime you have a choice, to say yes or no, to go right or left - hesitate a bit and think about what would actually, truly make you feel a little bit better in this situation. Play with the thought that you are a 'neutral' person, not a traumatized one - what would you do if so? Is there a part in you that protects you in a healthy way, and is there a part in you that protects your identity as a traumatized person? You are your own healer - and that is damned because it is so hard and lonely and blessed too, because you have yourself with yourself all the time and can become your own best friend and advisor. I wish you all the best, I'm writing this just as much for myself to live by. Love Malene

[@sathya999]

@@tomkore7865 It is never too late. I am 80 and loving the information and practice. "It's too late" is nothing more than a negative thought...

[@justinesimone5343]

I don't feel dysregulation coming on. I am almost totally solo. I have one friend who accepts me how I am, but she has a loving family who contact her and show love and respect daily. She doesn't get it when I try to explain why I must back off from my daughter, who gives me breadcrumbs and disrespect. It's just pain! You're right about finding joy somewhere! I just took an art course which I didn't need to learn from- just to make me get back into my creativity! All began when I was a baby. My Mom used to ignore me. She'd leave me in the carriage in the yard even after my nap was over and I was screaming, or in my crib way too long. She didn't want me. Then at 9 years old I became Cinderella, responsible for cleaning our apt. Grocery shopping and cooking. My brother and sister had no responsibilities. If I was out playing and didn't clean the house, my (4 years older) brother would pull me up the stairs by my hair to do "my job." We were all sexually abused by my Mothers Father. We all had a lot of anger or rage. My brother took it out on me. He beat me and stomped on me. It went on to me attaching to the wrong men. (Abusive, alcoholic, cheaters, disrespectful). I'm now 78 years old, I'm done with crap fitting. Solo is better. Years ago I went to a PTSD women's group. 12 of them gave a synopsis of their trauma. Each one turned to drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. I realized how strong I am because I became a good citizen. Had responsible jobs until I could buy my own home, had my own business, put my daughter through UPENN etc. Ironically I lost my home (on the water)and all belongings to mold and a greedy attorney. Now living in a low income housing apt. Thank you for your teaching, it gives me understanding about wrong decisions I've made. Many Blessings. ❣️

[@CS-fz2iw]

Thank you for your sharing. It shed a light on some similarities. May your space and home be(come) a safe heaven, container of nurturing and joy and lots of laughter.

[@maslenreyes7604]

Amén

[@allgoodanimals6769]

My mother is 81 and whenever I go visit my parents or talk to her on the phone, I get so triggered, irritable, and depressed. It takes me two weeks to detox after visiting her. But I go to see my dad. I feel so guilty saying that I can’t stand being around her. She treated my older sister much differently than she treated me. I’ve had low level depression since I was a kid.

[@paulaw9764]

I resonate with you, I felt the same. It does make you feel guilty, but the truth is the truth and parents who fail miserably with their Children, they get their karma one way or another. Often by being discussed and their faults pointed out to other people, that's their karma for their failings, why should we feel guilty.

[@TheblondJane25]

Same here!

[@g.flesch9731]

My mother was deceptive in her behavior & words she used with me. She was a great cook/baker & we had people over all the time. And of course, my mother loved the attention. She made the food for my wedding reception, which was very nice of her, right down to the cake. The reception was at the house and about 31 people, small. It turned into a show for her. How good the food was, how great the cake etc. Which compliments were fine but it was no longer about me & my groom. It was another chance for her to gain the admiration of people, some of whom she did not know. I did feel slighted but what am I a monster to not be thankful but in reality -- It was MY wedding & MY reception with my new husband. She even sewed my wedding dress - so that got her even more compliments. It was nice of her to do all of this for me but where was the razzle dazzle for us?

[@allgoodanimals6769]

@g: wow that is awful. I’m sorry to hear your big day became about her! So selfish. I can totally relate to this. Doing “nice” things gives them fuel through accolades. They thrive off of the attention. If they are denied the attention or accolades they get angry or pout. I could share so many stories of my own…

[@g.flesch9731]

@@allgoodanimals6769 I do appreciate her making food for the small reception. But for once could I & my groom have been the center of attention? I was never the center. She adored her son. She ruined one daughter & I was the quiet good girl. Don't ever be the "good girl". The good girl has no power & when you try to make your own decisions, rather than support you get a response of: is that a good idea or you can't do that. The next day I went to the house to retrieve gloves for the honeymoon & my Dad saw me walking up the driveway & said - "what are YOU doing here?" Was he afraid I was running back home?

[@Stillness1]

This message of “You CAN heal” resonated so deeply in me today that I cried, because it’s been such a long and difficult journey, and I’ve come so far but still feel held back by my traumas. Thank you for saying what I needed to hear!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Absolutely! You got this :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@mystic627]

Yes but we don’t heal ourselves we allow the healing to happen.

[@Stillness1]

@@mystic627 we do heal ourselves.

[@monachauncey7772]

❤

[@Mindyzzzzz]

Felt, for me it’s locating all the wounds. I find sometimes that I didn’t know it triggers me till I come across it, but I immediately hop on the “ time to do some shadow work” train.

[@miriamhamsa]

I've described myself as having a feral childhood too. Not that I was actively abused or abandoned, but my family wasn't loving, nor did they teach me anything about the world, relationships, anything. No conversations. I was told a few months ago I needed better quality people in my life, and I have been working on it. This is so deflating at age 76.

[@Lois-o1f]

my story, same age.

[@Lois-o1f]

Never heard , I love you, from parents.😢

[@vanessapetrea2490]

There’s an empowerment knowing this now. You’ve a clean slate to feel how you can now feel and love and parent yourself with this new knowledge. I know you can do it!!! I have faith!!🙏🏽💗🙏🏽

[@danabennett4098]

I'm 76 years old, too. And have been around the ringer so many times. Ultimately, I did find some VERY RIGHT people. I HAD to move from the physical environment of the STATE OF FLORIDA - to finally do it! I moved to Colorado nearly 40 years ago - and FINALLY, slowly but surely, the right people and right healers, making great friends SHOWED UP. Darlin', It's NEVER TOO late! Day by day, start doing things for yourself. I recommend a book on creativity - that helped me AND A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE TOO! And you'll start by thinking - I'm not an artist! BUT we all are, us humans. "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. Daily lessons to read and DO!!! It works - easily. I DO HEAR YOU, @miriamhamsa !!!

[@mahiaggarwal6286]

And i have seen that normal people who never faced trauma have no empathy for people like us. Few days back, i posted in one of a FB group that my fam was abusive and they did not teach me about anything related to finances, bank. It was a women group but not depression or trauma related. Women who were there were literally trolling me and one woman was too rude & said that my post seems a trolling post. By seeing her comment, i became dysregulated for 2 days. That woman didn’t understand my pain. She said that Ican’t i even open an account? What is it there?

[@luise_sams]

12:10 growth can also be physical! It helped me a lot to start training and regain some muscels. Working on outer strength helps the inner strength.

[@StudiosDelirium]

Discipline and keeping our promises to oneself is indeed growth.😊 Self love.

[@simonehejazi2304]

I totally understand why you discourage talking about trauma. We create new neurological channels when we do something in a different way, but the brain keeps the old ones and prefer them due to familiarity. example if we were conditions by trauma to react with anger and we choose to change our ways we need to be very careful not to slip back to the old path because it’s the automatic option. And makes us feel hopeless

[@1963christmas]

How amazing are you Anna?! It takes a very special and wise person to dedicate their life to first learn, then use that knowledge to aid others in their recovery of CPTSD. Thank you so very much. Xx

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are kind. Thanks.

[@nwabisaphikwa9790]

I am on a self discovery, healing & self improvement journey and so i recently discovered this channel and after listening in on this video and taking down notes I was convinced to subscribe to this channel. I believe discovering this channel might be the best thing to have happened to me currently in my life. Thank you so much for every word you have shared on this video. It has been eye opening and so so helpful for me personally! And I can’t wait to share with others

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You’re very kind. I’ll make sure Anna reads your note. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@mariaadkins1726]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@bushcraftcreationsbykristi2590]

She is most definitely the best thing that’s happened to me in DECADES. I sure wish I’d found her a lot sooner!

[@TherealDankDesigns]

This video just changed my life, you have said everything I’ve ever felt in the past 26 years of my life. I’ve had the worst childhood. And it bugs me to no end that I try to figure out what’s wrong with me, and doctors immediately try to shove medications down my throat for the way I feel. I realized today that I have childhood PTSD. And today I vow to try my absolute best to fix the behaviors and actions that come with constantly being emotionally disregulated. I would really love to speak to you in person if this is possible. All I ever wanted was to speak to someone that can understand me. And I feel that you can understand where I come from.

[@charlottetaylor4471]

I am so ANGRY. How dare parents do this to us. I can't get past the anger.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

When it is stuck like that, we call it resentment. That's what The Daily Practice I teach is for. I hope you'll give a try.

[@1234lowkey]

For me, I found it useful to have a lens of compassion towards them. Instead of having an expectation of how parents should behave towards their children, accept that they are flawed humans. Most of these parents have their children walk away from them because their own insecurities prevent them from having actual relationships with their children. That’s a sad and pathetic way to go through life. You can learn from that and choose a different path which is a blessing.

[@piscesempress1978]

@@1234lowkey I will never give any compassion to my father.. He does not deserve it.

[@DJWakening]

Hmm, I think having a lens of compassion is different from giving the abusers actual compassion, but I can understand both sides of the above statements. I agree, observing the past with a lens of compassion helps. understanding that whilst they are accountable for their deeds, they were/are also broken people. Most broken people don't fully understand they're not as they should be because they are consumed by their disordered way of being. Give thanks that we're not condemned to be like them, as they grew even more bitter over time, and karma is not kind.

[@mellifergold]

​@@piscesempress1978 But YOU deserve being free of anger/ resentment - it is YOUR burden...

[@SS-in1ts]

Very true, when counselors have told me to feel my feelings, I had to explain that I can only acknowledge and then move on and distract myself because I’ve almost gone into a mental breakdown from feeling my feelings, it is too much and it’s not safe to do for me. I could’ve ended up in a hospital. Sometimes denial or distraction is useful until more time passes.

[@lilyruby3733]

Kind fair wise people: =the pursuit of happiness 😊

[@kimberlyeisenmann8036]

Whenever I talk about my childhood, it feels like speaking about someone else's childhood. I'm completely disconnected from it

[@FreetheGoddess]

I love this!

[@cindyrobinson3882]

This was soooo awesome!! After 30 yrs of therapy, I learned more from this short video than in 30 yrs of therapy. At 61 yrs old, its time for me to "live".😊 ❤ 🙌 🙏 I remind myself, I didn't get this way overnight, but I see the "light" now. When I went thru chemo alone, I had 21 surgeries & hospitalized multiple times.....I wld remind myself, these are "speedbumps" in my journey. They may slow me down, but they are not going to stop me. 😊

[@CS-fz2iw]

🌺💚🌺

[@FinalfantasyFRANtic]

What really helps me with 'abandonment melange' (currently alone in a shared flat since I wanted to avoid a vacation with an abusive roommate but that also cuts me off from the group) is going out into and connecting with nature: barefoot on the grass, naked (ok, I kept my swimsuit on) in the water, BREATHING, FEELING morning dew, raindrops, chilly grass, and the water resisting my strokes as I make my way across the lake

[@Courtney-pn5lr]

Emotion dysregulation is the biggest hurdle. Rejection and deception are huge triggers for me. Practicing DBT so I'm learning the tools, but it's hard to implement them in the moment.

[@coachingforchrist4090]

One step at a time ! We got this ! 🫶🏼

[@miavos3610]

People who mock you for abstaining are the ones who can't help themselves.

[@GTaichou]

Honestly, "charm school for feral women" would have sold me 100%. I've always embraced the idea of a "wild woman" as a woman with dreams and opinions. It feels strong as heck to me. :)

[@ShintogaDeathAngel]

Me too, shouldn’t be that way (we should already feel like our opinions and dreams matter as much as anyone else’s, no matter our sex/gender) but yeah!

[@katiesmith6659]

I done your daily practice for the first time yesterday and during the meditation I felt like I released so much, like it was yawns but not from tiredness or boredom but to release staleness from inside I don't know how to explain it, but it was amazing and made me have relief for like 3 hours which was nice

[@normabarker8958]

Yawns are toxicity leaving your body. Always happens to me when I start working out again after taking time away from being physically active

[@motsnrub]

Today marks one month that I've been doing the free, 'Daily Practice', two times a day, as shown in the link below the video. The other videos are great at marking the course of our healing, but it's actually doing The Daily Practice that seems to really catalyze the healing process. Get on it, folks! Thanks 🧚‍♂🧚‍♀🧚

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

yes! Thanks for saying it. I'm a broken record on this one.

[@charlotte5671]

I was just thinking- ok maybe I need to start that. I'm seeing that I need to heal my relationship & communication skills. I feel like I don't know how to express my feelings, I don't say something when I am upset. I want to have solid friendships & meet a partner who wants to enjoy life together ❤️ I'm ready to make new decisions that make my life more full. Happy Healing all 💙

[@Ozzychk]

I’ve been listening to this page for at least a year, but just this week started writing down my fears and resentments. Today will be day 3 ❤😂

[@lpetitoiseau9146]

Okay! I’m going to give “the daily practice “ both time & effort. Gently & consistently practice it.

[@remissao13]

Whenever I need some energy to deal with the challenges brought about by CPTSD I come here and listen to Anna some. It's amazing you survived, it's amazing we survived.

[@donaldwilliamson1200]

I wanted to thank you for your content. Thank you lol. I was diagnosed with ADHD, autism, and cptsd. I never realized how much problems came from cptsd. I always thought it was the ADHD, autism, and OCD. I found your content and quickly realized it's the trauma that I was looking past that's controlling my life. I'm 40 years old and I couldn't figure out why I could only heal so much before I got bad again. I now know why and am getting so much better in such a short time than ever before. I was abused Sexually, emotionally, physically and was taken from my family as a child. Being abused and then taken away was so painful and confusing. I thought it was all my fault I mean how couldn't it be it's all happening to me and now I'm being taken away. Anyways now I'm oversharing. I found the adhd and autism is easier to manage as I take care of the ptsd. You are amazing thank you so much for being you.

[@LLindsey1427]

Thank you for your comment. I relate in part and I’ve tried a lot of other methods to heal and I’m looking into trying this one. If it has worked for you I hope in some ways it will work for me.

[@Lachlans-i2s]

Abandonment melange and dysregulation are synonymous for me and I don't have to be abandoned to have it triggered. Anything like even thinking about a woman will trigger it but not necessarily hijack me if I'm regulates but it just builds. Thoughts as triggers as Pete walker says

[@AnEsotericMind]

naming things is so powerful. I am getting soooo much better at moving away from people and situations that do not serve me, because I can name the reasons why.

[@stephaniez2349]

Your videos have been so helpful to me. I always knew something was wrong but I didn't know what or how to control myself. Once I heard you explain emotional dysregulation I knew exactly what you were talking about. Once I knew what the problem was I could stop myself and respond instead of react. Thank you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wow, I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for taking the time to comment, I'm sure Anna will want to read this. -Calista@TeamFairy

[@Borsfrancis]

Naming this thing that's been there for 40 years often negatively affecting my life is a revelation and a grieving. I feel a completely different person aged 52!

[@joymoody2372]

Mom was diagnosed with advanced cancer when I was 15. The fear & 11 years of anticipatory grief were never discussed inside or outside of the family.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We hear you, that silence creates a lot of fear. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@miavos3610]

I've been talking about my Crappy Childhood for FAR TOO LONG. Thank heavens God is guiding me to a better life. Year after year. Decade after decade. Things happened to fast forward my healing.

[@toe2toelikeimali]

thank you for everything. i’m struggling trying to heal but we all probably are lol but these videos and your intellect and such informativeness has pushed me ahead tremendously.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

It is a struggle to heal. But It's great to hear that you are trying. Sending you encouragement. Jack@TeamFairy

[@nallelygarcia2232]

I spent the whole last 48 hours binge watching your videos and Omg 🖤😭 where have you been my whole life. These videos have been more helpful Then any therapist I've been too

[@RayaCeleste]

Im 48 years old...And I swear I could totally sign up for Charm School for Feral girls..even today! Gen X raising with additional childhood Trauma did us dirty😅

[@suzihazlove4979]

You KNOW SO WELL. I see so much of my wasted energy trying to make a relationship work that doesnt. Made me toxic. And i didnt like myself. He needs to fix himself and i need to do me. He doesnt want my help. And i had to accept that. Now im gonna be me with the right people.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great work. That’s what healing looks like. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@suzihazlove4979]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy ❤️

[@ShekinahGwaii]

Tears keep streaming 💜 The spinup you described is exactly what happened to me each episode of self harm. My complex ptsd was from being injured by a doctor duringthe Gulf, followed by 25 years of medical neglect by the VA. Many nightmares and investigations, but like you say, even the couple times things went well wasn't enough to build healthy regulatory protocols. Worse was the injury was to the 10th cranial nerve, with ensuing residuals. There's more, but this channel speaks to all kinds of complex trauma 🎉 what a breath of fresh air 😊

[@debrakarr996]

Thank You for your service! ❤ prayers to u on your healing journey. U should check out Tim Fletcher if u don't know him.

[@riadrossos-usa4415]

❤❤❤ You translated my life in real words. Thank you for existing in our world. Thanks for being real to yourself and us.

[@atimeforlove2025]

You are a phenomenal woman! No better childhood fairy ever!! So grateful for your brilliance!!

[@jacquietarr7280]

I’m 65. Just wish I had found you earlier. Thank you so much for your knowledge, compassion and generosity ❤

[@grietlaenen8169]

Wo, i have cptsd. Why has no therapist ever been this clear to me? I just kept talking and indeed, seeking recognition for my troubles while wanting to grow. Thank you so much!

[@IzabelaKuchta-zk8rj]

Hi, I found your videos accidentally. I used to be very considered about all my surrounding until I was diagnosed with lots of autoimmunities diseases which by the way are linked to my childhood trauma (Gabour Mate). I am in the process to learning to love myself and putting myself first.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's great, we're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@RomyRudolph]

Maybe findng these videos wasnt accidental at all....:)

[@dreamylove4196]

Does anyone have advice for how to feel allowed to feel happy? How do we feel worthy of happiness?? How do we feel good enough to be happy and have good things?

[@beverleymacca4737]

What I found helps is to parent myself. I treat myself the way I would treat a child I care about. So, I encourage myself to have fun, I praise myself when I do good things, I don't belittle, berate or criticise myself. I encourage myself to do the 'right' things in a gentle way. I celebrate achievements. I break things down that I find hard, etc. I check in with what I really feel and what I really need and I give myself what I need. Those continuous actions to care for myself add up over time to feeling loved and cared for. It helps to build my self esteem and see myself as someone worthy of happiness 🙏

[@rixatrix]

This might feel weird, but I try to think of myself as an animal. We’re all mammals, like dogs or cats. And everyone loves dogs and cats just how they are-big ones, little ones, sweet ones, standoffish ones, cute ones, ugly ones. We don’t judge them as worthy or not worthy of love-we just love them, all of them, because they’re delightful. So picture yourself and your fellow humans like that. There’s nothing you need to do to earn love. You’re worthy just because you exist. Take a nap in the sun. Run because it feels good. Play with your favorite things and eat your favorite treats. If your self critic starts speaking up, remind it that you’re just an animal doing what animals do and that’s enough.

[@iheartbellatutu6915]

Coming here to have my safe space. I wish she’s my Mom. I’m just imagining she’s my Mom. I just love the way she talks. She speaks to me lol.

[@jaylaw.7660]

Thank you Anna, I think you’re so beautiful! 😘❤️ your courage, wisdom, and support speaks volumes!!

[@arlettasloan6453]

I would totally go to Charm School for Feral Girls. I feel like a school with that name would have the understanding needed for the situatios that will develop. Even though, like the some of the kitties on my porch, I am fairly benign for being feral so long.

[@hansisgarten]

“You get to catch up now”. This is the exact feeling I have about my life rn. I feel like I’m catching up on things I was never able to live through. Healing is learning, lesrning is healing. Thank you for your videos

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great insight. Thank you for sharing it with us. -Calista@TeamFairy

[@wandaprubant2082]

I love this womans honesty and authenticity, van really relate.

[@KM-dx5wn]

Your work is a godsend to me. I'm in my 60's and I have suffered my entire life, never being able to figure out why nothing seemed to work for me, no matter how hard I tried, or why I couldn't attract "sane, normal" people in romance, or jobs that treated me with fairness, or why I could never seem to connect the dots. I would stare at "normal" lives and think, "why can't I have that ... why can't I get there?" It was alwauys out of reach. It's been isolating and filled with adversity. I've self-medicated to stop the triggers. Now I undersand the trauma and abuse I suffered as a child propelled s life I never wanted to lead, a life filled with sadness and frustration. I've underearned and undervalued myself at every turn. I've accepted crumbs and "crap-fitted." My housing situation was never secure. It's finally taken a life-threatening illness to wake me up and seek true, deep level healing. I stumbled across this channel by Divine Intervention. I feel as though my head has been opened wide, and enormous light let in.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you are here! Be well. Nika@TeamFairy

[@cannedspecters]

You are a Godsent Anna! I have never ever had anyone explain it the way you have and I feel someone finally understands how I have always felt... Thank you so so much for what you do to help! 😊🤗

[@InspiringMen85]

When you talked about your childhood and how you learned to use silverware at 12 and still had things to learn at 30, it was very humanizing and it’s motivating to me. I’m 38, and beginning to truly get my life together. You are one of the channels that got the ball rolling so to speak. I’m going to keep working towards being a success like you are now. Thank you for all your help, I’m going to read your book soon too.

[@BlankName88]

I've been told I need therapy I don't know how many times, but I think I'm doing a great job healing without it. I beat alcoholism 4 years ago and only smoke weed, and I'm able to control my anger. In fact, I think weed helped me more than any therapist could. It's helped me work through a lot of emotional block ups.

[@SamStone1964]

If only it was legal.

[@paulnolen7651]

Thank you thank you for all your hard work keep it up your videos mean so much to me and I know to so many others😊😊

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for your kind words! I'm sure Anna will appreciate this :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@brca1853]

After my abandonment malounge three years after I got cancer. To try to be a good person and to have relations with good people is such a good advice, thank you

[@MsCarolynseah]

I’m stunned that after all these years. I find you. I finally feel forgiveness and compassion for my mistakes and failures caused by the condition.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wow, that's amazing. I'm so glad you found the channel :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@solestellamaebabas9933]

Im grateful to my friend who gave me your channel. This is such a great help to me since I'm dealing with my traumas now. Im always a victim of abuse and betrayal from my family experiences and from my own broken marriage. Im really trying to cope up from all of my traumas. You are an angel to all of us, thank you!! ❤❤❤

[@znowicotton5176]

Thank you for being you. We need people who live and experience what they teach, and we can feel that you truly know what you say.

[@inacuro9385]

Hello Anna!!! First of all thank you for all the hard work that you are doing. I have been out from a narcissistic abuse relationship and developed cptsd after that disocciation and serious anxiety. I had a crappy childhood too and got diagnosed with ocd and generalized anxiety disorder at 27 and done lots of therapy with the last one therapist doing good but also harm and a lot of pushing which stressed me a lot. I resonate with you in a lot of things even if our stories are different

[@a.s.6748]

I always knew how to choose good people, but still forgot how to choose those, who are able to meet my emotional, intellectual and all the other needs.

[@mendingmandy869]

I get really confused about the friendship arena. I have friends who aren't bad but things seem to become one sided. I become a counselor to all of my friends which is ironic because I'm the most traumatized. Can you do a video on how to know which friends aren't great? I know toxic signs but not friends who are just okay. Do you cut just ok friends out?

[@kadraabdoulkader8033]

im in the same positions as you

[@Kate98755]

If the friend isn’t caring for your soul, being kind, looking out for you, they aren’t real friends. Friends don’t tear another friend down, like sarcasm, that is verbally attacking someone, it’s a weapon because some part of it is true…and long after the comment you’ll still be thinking about it. That’s not good for you.

[@valeriezaitzieff1462]

Maybe instead of trying to fix your friends' problems, focus on fixing your own, then share your progress with them. Conserve your energy and let them take responsibilty for their own lives.

[@mendingmandy869]

@VALERIE Zaitzieff definitely good advice :) I've been doing that more in the past few months and putting up boundaries. It's going a lot better

[@ShintogaDeathAngel]

I don’t think you have to cut “just ok” friends out - ask yourself how you feel in general after hanging out with them etc. But I agree you need to stop the counselling. Signposting resources here and there can be ok but step back a bit and spend that energy on yourself from now on.

[@Chant-l1o]

I just recently clicked on one of your videos about CPTSD. You articulate the exact feelings and behaviours I am struggling with severely lately. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and personal relation to the topics you talk about. 🙏🏻

[@susannavancole2868]

OMG Anna, hearing you say the things that I have felt and thought evokes a feeling I'm not sure how to describe... Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I have never felt this emotion before ... that someone actually DOES know me ... It's fostering hope 💓

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

This is the place for you. Jack@TeamFairy

[@nav_man9167]

@18:55 "Compartmentalising anti-social behaviour so that you can still love your parents". I did this exactly but didn't fully realise I had until you articulated it like this.

[@SenoritxJaneDiamond]

Thank you so much!! I have these symptoms and I just want to heal so thank you💗💗💗

[@roxanes43]

So glad I found you, as a former feral girl still trying to learn life in my 50s 😮, your advice really resonates!

[@AmandaNicholson-s3z]

Wise and fair is the template for progress .

[@Skawn7125]

22:50 "to keep thinking that the problem is the other person doesn't care enough to change, well maybe they don't... but YOUR problem is that you don't care enough to leave." Lawd I felt called all the way out!

[@linettaalexanderislam2751]

Whew! Number 6 punched me in the gut…so stalling the divorce process and having daily phone calls with my husband when I know we’ve exhausted our relationship and there is no way we can be happy and healthy together is not only crap-fitting 😢 but also I’m retraumatizing myself…and probably him as well?!?!?!!!! 🤯

[@elizabethalexander6528]

I am 61 and its been the last 8 years that I have been supporting myself and focus on me.

[@Madhukirtan]

Ana, you are one of my favourite "KZbinrs"! I truly respect and admire you!! Thank you

[@a.s.6748]

You are a very sympathetic and down to earth person. Thanks.

[@Clairebearthegoodfinder]

You are definitely helping me heal and changing my life thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[@peichunlin1122]

I can still hear some pain in your voice. Takes a lot of courage to heal and stand up for oneself when someone has been through childhood abuse. Thank you for your amazing work! ❤

[@nikismith1871]

Charm school for fearell girls😂😂😂 I love that, I am Ferrell I can relate!!! I so love your teachings Anna. You have helped me regulate myself so much in the last year. I’m sorry I can’t afford your courses, but I’m so very grateful for your uploads to KZbin! You have given me so many tools that I use on a daily basis. You are living proof that I can turn my life around . You are the ultimate Crappy Childhood Fairy ❤❤❤

[@charlottetaylor4471]

I have no purpose, no motivation, I'm utterly stuck with zero idea what to do. I can't try to heal and do normal things like start a career etc.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so sorry that's how you're feeling. If you're interested, I really suggest you check out Anna's free course 'The Daily Practice', it's a great place to start the process of healing. Here is the link: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Calista@TeamFairy

[@BMfixit]

I'm getting better. Grief Share is a group setting that people gather in a group. It's sad to hear all the stories but it helps me feel I'm not alone. Taking about your trauma is hard to near impossible at first. Once your able to speak on your story without breaking down, your on the road to recovery. Forgiving the ones that's harmed us is the final key. Forgive the living or the deceased isn't for them, it's for us to deal with the hurt. Focusing on the good things alone isn't enough without talking about it

[@janiceflores2468]

My emotions were so out of control and I popped off to a boss and lost my job. I eventually graduate college with an associates but I still have more healing to go. Thank you for sharing this information. I have taken notes. ❤

[@michaelholtzman1463]

Honestly, I can't thank you enough for your time and commitment. Your work and videos have been an unbeatable resource for me.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for sharing, I'm sure Anna will appreciate this :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@michaelshifflette]

I think CPTSD has given me the ability to judge a person and if they are a liar or not.

[@MultiDonna26]

Thank you. You are very relatable and easy to listen to. I wrote down the 10 things on a sticky note and I'll read them again and again and possibly take some action. When you were talking about giving up your seat on the bus, it made me remember that as a teen I never did that because I did not believe that all old people were worthy of that seat. For example they may have been an abuser etc: I was very adamant ;)

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great work. That’s what healing looks like. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@itsbeebaby]

Had to take a break to let myself cry. I just stumbled across your channel and it’s like you’ve listed everything I’ve gone through. Still processing my childhood and my feelings towards my parents but OMG

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are in the right place. A great way to get clarity about difficult relationships is through Daily Practice. Check out the free course here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

[@jennifermarie1230]

My childhood was a mess. Addictive parents. And at age 46 i just got out of a 27 year relationship with my husband, my kids dad. An. Alcoholic and narcissist. Im a mess!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm glad you are here for some support! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@normabarker8958]

I’m 43. I’m out of a 8 year marriage with an alcoholic and a narcissist. Since the divorce he’s gotten sober and seems like a decent human. Now. I Don’t know why i stated so long. And having a hard time figuring out how to move forward

[@debbiemckenna5]

I can totally relate to you. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and a Narc father. I was an only child. I am 53 and I married and divorced a Narc. The trauma continues to cause me problems in all areas of my life. It is debilitating. I have 3 children and they are the Only thing that keeps me going.

[@sonicaftermath5776]

This is Muzzy. Hi. Just wanna say that this is the best video yet. I’m sharing it to everyone. Think I have C-ptsd or a degree of it…. The psyche is different in everyone. We’re all a little cray cray, right? Anyhoo, I’m watching the next video that you suggested at the end of this one. I really appreciate your honesty and compassion by sharing these videos here for free. Really, thanks! This stuff makes more sense than any counselor or psychologist I’ve been to or book I’ve read. You’re brilliant! Thanks again from the bottom of my heart CCF! You’re an angel! (Crappy childhood angel, or maybe a charming Irish elvin princess) lol, just funnin with ya ✌🏻❤😊

[@kathleenfreeman7078]

I am so incredibly grateful that I found your page. THANK YOU!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad!

[@moirabijker]

I learn so much from you. I recently ended a friendship with someone who lied to me. When he confessed the truth I didn't get angry. Instead of the fight response I went into a hypo-manic fawn response babbling incessantly. The next day I did tell him how I felt disappointed, sad and irritable. I decided to just not talk to him again. I felt uncomfortable and unsafe. 2 years ago I would have been so afraid to be alone that I would have held on to this unhealthy person with all my might. Now I could feel the fear and pain of abandonment and let go. What a miraculous change. Today I feel good about learning how to recover and become my real self.

[@clarksondarling]

I shut down all of my emotions for years including major major traumas. . Now I'm in trouble

[@gathercreatelivewithleslie8340]

Wow, when you talked about silverware usage that struck me, I was the same way until late teens. Mom mother never grew out of making fun of people and being negative. Feral is a good description, not knowing the basics of life. So helpful when you talked about being a moral person. So many people in our society are damaged and just want to take advantage and damage others. Hurt people, hurt other people for sure. Give Grace! I don't want to stay stagnant anymore. This was helpful, you articulate things so well and I'm seeing many things in my life that I thought was just me and they're really symptoms of having childhood trauma.

[@shawnmarkert924]

I was just over looked and I'm still overlooked and /or dismissed.

[@shawnmarkert924]

It's okay BECAUSE ...... I DO NOT OVERLOOK MYSELF ANYMORE !!!

[@irishroze5695]

And when I look and resonate on a scale of others tragic childhoods I wonder just why two things could or should affect me so much.

[@hman2875]

This was truly eye opening. I want to thank you Anna for being so kind and giving us so much valuable information.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it was helpful! -Frida@TeamFairy

[@simonehejazi2304]

I’m so happy I found you

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Welcome! We're so happy to have you. -Calista@TeamFairy

[@carlamurphy7541]

Thank you ive written this all down...im ready to heal

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You got this! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@prodigalAli]

God bless you! You are a blessing to me

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@anon6056]

1. learn how to emotionally regulate 2. Save your social and romantic energy for people who can reciprocate it 3. Get really good at ending relationships with people who are bad for you 4. Choose friends who are working on themselves and do things with their life that you admire (be with people you respect, not just wherever you end up around and relates to you) 5. Find activities hobbies things to do in your spare time that bring you growth (especially hobbies that help you learn how to make a living)(and reading books) 6. When you're looking for people to have in your life look for people who are wise and fair (charm school)(seek people you can learn from)(people with integrity better than what you learned at home)(you will be so affected by the people you are around so choose them well) 7. seek to be a kina and generous and charitable person (of spirit) 8. How do you feel after you hang out with them? This is how you tell who's good for you. It's a sign (but keeo in mind negative feelings can be emotional flashbacks so it may be confusing) 8. When a good relationship has broken down even when its plain to you how the other person contributed to the problem, dont tear them a new one. Learn how to walk away from a broken relationship without a big fight. Keep the explanation minimal and simply set your boundary and leave. Don't be venting at them for no good reason. Live in a world where no one is destroyed by you and you maintain your own power over who gets to be in your life. A lot of things you want to say when you're dysregulated are a bad idea so run it by a mentor first 9. Acknowledge your suffering in the past but focus on what you can do to heal now. Now you want money and healthy relationships, your whole life is ahead of you, you can't see it in your imagination. Start anywhere 10. Seek out practices that help you bring down your cptsd responses. She teaches the daily practice