YOU: Consumed in Narcissist's Shared Fantasy

WATCH 7 Phases of Shared Fantasy: Why Narcissist Needs YOU • 7 Phases of Shared Fan...
Disney defense: fantasy, main character syndrome.
Outsourcing reality testing.
Fitting into narrative (scripting) and affirming the delusions as realistic, acceding to goals.
Suspension of judgment of right and wrong (narcissist's introject).
External regulation of moods and emotions, sense of self-worth, self-perception and self-image.
Confusion of external and internal.
Provision of supply (narcissistic and sadistic), services, sex, and safety (maternal secure base).
Assigned role playing.
Missionary activities and messages, collusion with acolytes and flying monkeys, actions against "enemies" (cult settings and dynamics).
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com...

[@italiama79]

Mind blowing once you figure it out

[@rolfgordhamer3196]

Absolutely mind blowing..nice to know someone else has been through the same thing and is seeing it too..

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

This is my mother. The ONLY way to be allowed in the family is to collude with her narrative that I'm sensitive, emotional, angry et cetera. Whatever she tells me I am to disguise (from herself) her lack of empathy, her disinclination to engage in any reciprocal exchange of communication. The communication flows ONE way, so in her head, any attempt to be heard is aggressive. If I were to say sorry to her for being aggressive and sorry to her for trying to defend myself, then I would be ''allowed'' back in.

[@kristen9827]

This is so true in my family or origin- with BOTH parents. It’s really wild when you understand.

[@777Honeypie]

The way you describe your mother sounds like mine. All her all the time. Any input from me is atrocious and offensive. She'll even go as far as to say it adversely affects her health. Just because I opened my mouth to share what I think or feel or experienced? I have to take it back what I said and then hear a lecture about what would have been appropriate for me to have said and how I should change and be different. Also, I wanted to say I think this video is brilliant. And that is one truth I know I can say that won't offend. 😁 I don't take that back. 😁

[@glenyshill72]

I found a common response from my late mother was to often be accused of "not listening" when what was really happening was that I was disagreeing with her. She never seemed to be able to understand that I had a mind and ideas of my own. When she was approaching the end of her life and I was spending time with her in hospital she told me what, in her opinion, I should have done differently in my life. No doubt she would have been indignant and outraged if it were me who had attempted to do the same to her.

[@Countcho]

What did you do? Im dealing with this with my mother. Her happiness depends on everyone around her totally submitting to her narrative

[@akashalove]

@@kristen9827same same. So painful. But finally discovering this truth at age 50 is such a relief! 😢

[@TobaccoPancake]

Another spot on video. My past bpd/narc relationship could be described with the Dostoevskij quote "i betrayed my self for nothing"

[@chiliart8056]

Exactly

[@LeahDyson-kq4bd]

I wish I had found these videos when I was 19 I'm destroyed now

[@TobaccoPancake]

@@LeahDyson-kq4bd we on the same journey brother. I'm 26, more than 2 months no contact and still working on escaping the shared fantasy. Hard to take out the most beautiful and same time craziest woman out of my mind but Sam helping a lot. Rationality tells me It was the right choice but sometimes her image takes the lead. Feel free to share your experience.

[@marianna671]

Prof. Vaknin, please don’t stop recording, your videos are saving my life. ❤️‍🩹

[@elsyangel9798]

Осознайте поскорее треш и бегите , спасайтесь в безопасном месте . Скачайте свой разум и свою жизнь. Вы не одиноки, вас многие понимают и поддерживают. ❤ из России.

[@E_L1000]

It sounds like it’s applicable to countries as well. In order to be treated as a good subject you will have to accept: myths, economic structure, social visions, lies, friends, foes, etc etc.

[@samvaknin]

Search the channel for “collective”.

[@kristen9827]

WOW. WOW. I’m FINALLY in my late 40’s understanding.. and I’m blown away. I finally am seeing what is REALITY. Thank you. I feel well I feel a lot but mostly free.

[@enaothman]

The exact description of my younger narcissistic sister & the mental & emotional abuse she has inflicted on me since our young adulthood. Took me years to realize because it just seemed impossible that a sibling would do this to her own flesh & blood. Mind blowing that she is a psychiatrist. I have gone no contact for 18 months & finally am at peace

[@jchh88d]

This was my EXACT experience with a highly manipulative covert narcissist...it was the most emotionally draining experience I've experienced, even surpassing caring for my mother as she died from cancer. I discarded the narcissist first and after a failed hoover attempt he moved on to another target he had been grooming...SAVE YOURSELF AND GO NO CONTACT IMMEDIATELY!!

[@darylwayne5307]

This concept applies to all aspects of human relationships, from family dynamics to geo-politics and absolutely everything in between.

[@hiron-yf7wq]

Terrifying when they turn you, the victim into their own flying monkey to try and blame your family for how you responded to their cult like abuse. Narcissists taking over your life is terrifying. This type of abuse should be criminal.

[@coolkidd3000]

This is the most accurate thing i've heard on narcissism and I'm 5 years in...

[@singaporeghostclub]

I’ve told my wife don’t text me with ‘issues’ that need my immediate attention when I’m at work or driving because it’s distracting and I’ll be texting while driving. So, she continues to do the same. I replied we will talk when I get back. When I got home, tried to engage a conversation, she told me no, she’s tired.

[@Maria_Stancu]

The sickest part of this is that I would go back to the narc if I didn’t have kids.

[@LeahDyson-kq4bd]

Same still get tempted here and there I'm severely codependent now I can't trust my own judgement

[@rolfgordhamer3196]

Wow..this is exactly what I’m waking out of..a female covert fragile narcissist..mind blowing..thank you this is a lifesaver

[@stuartpaterson5598]

One of your best, Sam.

[@helenas7416]

This is absolutely brilliant. One of my favourite of your lectures. Thank you so much Sam for everything you are doing. 😊

[@lizmandelaine6863]

Thank you for sharing such timely, if not telling, perils inherent to finding oneself (or, evidence of a self capable of efficacy) beyond that of either reflecting or rejecting status, as placeholder of such fantasy. The contradictions amidst senses of having to present as “fantastic” amidst experiences inherently drawn of authenticity - and the subsequent divide created - is wide and seems endless to navigate at times, but I will continue to try.

[@jbuntine1255]

22:13 My X never seperated from his Magnigalant Narc mother , he moved to Aus l think to get away from her.. I was the sec mother Unfortunately for me .. After 18 yrs l walked way , he never showed respect , and the lonlyness , on my own his only 1 less stress in my life.. The financial abuse unbelievable ..

[@OptimisticSaturnPlanet-yz8mc]

My childhood was nice. My parents & siblings were good to me. My ten year narcissist relationship has ended 7 months ago. And I hear you about the (I call it "glomming") onto a persons mental so consistently that they think it's sinking into your belief system so you become one minded. To make it All about their reality at all times. Yeah....Do you know how difficult it is to keep your own mindset amidst all that constant "glomming"? It's not easy but I had a good heads-up because I was 25 long years IN, in my first marriage to a narcissist & I applied that lesson to this relationship as best I could. Im getting through therapy & it'll be a lifelong relationship. I held onto my beliefs and relied upon my gut as well as adhering to the rules of their world. That was an issue we continued to bump heads over the whole time. I just found out about narcissism this year!!!! Lol, I've been in study mode for the past 7 months studying behaviors & trying hard to unwind everything I've been through. Thank goodness narcissism is more recognized now and this valuable information is here! Keep your heads up everyone & continue to learn & move forward with the peace & protection we carry inside ourselves. 💜🙏🏾✌🏽

[@nurcanyergok9235]

Thank you, Prof.Vaknin for all your valuable information ❤, they are exactly dangerous people, like you explained.

[@elstal22]

I really wish “dead mother” was renamed to “dead primary early childhood caregiver.” Because it that role is not always fulfilled by a woman, especially today, and it can really mess with the mother’s head if she wasn’t the primary caregiver or the probable cause of her own kid’s narcissism.

[@samvaknin]

Correct. "Mother" in psychology means anyone who fulfills the maternal role in early childhood (as I make clear in multiple videos).

[@jacksavage279]

Dr. You helped me put the puzzle together.

[@TobaccoPancake]

Why did my bpd / narcisist ex started venting and saying she would have ended up hating me the last time I saw her? I just could not take it anymore and I left that day. I needed peace and she said she liked to fight, but nonsense drama not even constructive discussions. I guess I was already devaluated and she needed to push me away. I'm still ruminating at times If I maybe should have just vented at her too, but I feel like I made the right thing to just leave even If I had to suppress some of the things I wanted to say to her. I felt like communicating was impossible cause either she felt attacked personally, or either I was not caring to discuss. Either way for her It was my fault. Lot of cognitive dissonance even two months in no contact.

[@mariaelenarodriguez6188]

You are clear water, she oil: she would have always been above you. Congrats!

[@TtTt-k7p1b]

You know how to put the Narc's fire 🔥 out! Thanks...

[@marinada8343]

It's symbiotic..

[@VanessaMoritz-r5g]

OH I'm dying. The Undercover shared fantasy. We have been going through with this one for 10 wasted years. I think it's created for his infidelity loop to fool me and have me at the same time. You wouldn't believe all he's gone through to achieve this. I know now but before it took me years to Finley get what was wrong with him. In the meantime I became an investigater. For years I was fascinated. I could write such a good book. It's the undercovers.

[@LadyNaPaz]

Professor; Nunca tinha visto uma foto do Lacan antes, acabei de ver como ele era. Igualzinho ao senhor!!!

[@krokigrygg]

Thanks!

[@emilyag5659]

Mein damaliger Arbeitskollege hat mir mit einer einzigen Frage die Augen geöffnet, obwohl er selber Probleme hatte. Da ist mir der Groschen gefallen. Besser spät als nie...

[@ТетянаКосенко-м9х]

Дякую, вельми цінна інформація, суспільство має це знати

[@lorrainedyer-nq6uq]

Another excellent video

[@OptimisticSaturnPlanet-yz8mc]

YES 24-7!!!!!😓 And we worked together as well, Mr. Sam.

[@mrs.fofanah1888]

You are amazing ❤

[@moondeer5670]

What does it mean if you're uncertain you've ever experienced true love? I have bonds with others and maybe my family to a point. Dx bpd traits, am I just doomed to repetition compulsion? Therapy has not helped, besides keeping me somewhat emotionally stable.

[@Antigashlighting]

Npd want you to give up is 1.reality testing

[@cindyz53]

Is there anything that you can do for a family member that this is happening to?

[@IuliiaI-d9u]

Are the relationships between two narcississts more "peaceful" and less destructive?

[@samvaknin]

Search the channel.

[@ginagina9592]

Noooo, my dad is in complete delusion with his narc wife. They are isolated in their own world and for the last 20 years I’ve watched him deteriorate into a joyless, pessimistic person when he was full of comedy in the younger half of his life.

[@BM0RESquare_XTherapist]

Yeppers!!

[@antoniodagostino1338]

I have a question. The professor said that you need to keep at least 2 of the 4 S. When I was discarded, I was still still provide all 4. Not that it doesn't matter anymore, but I was simply reaching my expired date, or I was diverged too much from the snapshot or just she got bored

[@johng7227]

Is it possible for both parents to be narcissists, with the father being the dominant of the two?

[@samvaknin]

Yes. But the mother creates a narcissist. Watch the From Child to Narcissist playlist.

[@lukeventers4755]

This is my wife to a Tee.

[@CreatewithSophia]

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