You Don’t Owe a Narcissist the Truth

[@hettykoster9447]

They try to destroy our life with lies, because theirs can be destroyed with the thruth.

[@User414xz]

@@hettykoster9447they always disappeared on me when I brought up shady issues. Don't wrestle with the pigs, they enjoy it and you will be harmed. So true

[@wahlkarte5113]

Only problem, if she has your child....

[@TheLC253]

@wahlkarte5113definitely not the only problem

[@kelley9133]

Yesssssss. I've had my narc reaching out anywhere possible as other people etc. I told him I'm looking to to be in a new relationship that v is a fairytale - this was to diff number but I knew it was him and wanted him to know. Also yes a fairytale marriage in love with someone. He posted on IG FAXX over fairytale. That is one part of the 500th

[@NevaWilson-s2h]

I moved into help my brother he had his leg amputation. I remember what Trump said ( the poem the snake) but he was my brother bony. Leg amp. So I moved into help him. He verbally gaslit me, the treatment by him was so bad. I brought it up to a cousin but they stluffed it off. People didn't care. I HAD nowhere to go. I have never met more evil person on all my life. Yes he beat on me when I was little but I thought he grew our of it. We'll ya, he did not hit me this last tune but the insults, the remarks against me, the gaslighted, the slander. While I was going up 4 flights of stairs doing his laundry. Telling his friends I wasn't doing a good enough job.

[@lionface1364]

Narcs don't deserve honesty.... honestly.

[@GreeneChakra]

AGREED ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@TheWorkPhoneTheWorkPhone]

"You can abandon sincere communication when you are dealing with the terminally insincere." -Richard (The Good Spartan) Grannon

[@ronm7114]

You can abandon any communication

[@estrela3889]

I don't owe them truth! This is hugely liberating!

[@DonnaMccall-qc7oi]

So true closing him out more & more.

[@SonyAk-f5z]

Around them you slowly found yourself in that position

[@kelleyreid-rose6775]

😵‍💫 this one I've saved... after being shamed for way too long. 🙏 thank you!

[@Silverlining1248]

Omg this is a revelation ! Thank you 🙏

[@sarahcrain8083]

Narcs just take your truth and twist it into lies to use against you.

[@SPB-h7q]

TY! Let that sink in people: “Yes, they KNOW what they are doing!” That’s all I needed to know! Poor thangs

[@regcreational6447]

True I have a Narc 'Friend' just calls to inquire about what I have going on.. usually just cuts me off cause he has to go.. if I'm happy he will cut me off sooner.. other day told him I want to work at a car dealership.. his response 'they only like to hire good looking people'😅..

[@kathrynashley1241]

I lived a lie for 40 years before escaping. I am a different person now. I could not speak what I thought, I was not allowed to be happy. I am totally a different confident woman now😊

[@nana820able]

I'm in 49 years now.

[@Blessingsallaround22]

Beautiful!!!

[@fightingfiresusa2961]

Even after I made plans to leave (and he found out) and he asked me questions about those plans, I felt like I had to tell the truth because I didn’t want to lie. It has taken me a long time to stop defending & explaining & apologizing. Not just to him, but to everyone. I’m getting there tho, thanks to people like Richard.

[@susananderson4835]

I'm there xx it took a while and I'm only commenting here cos the vid popped up on my feed, mostly I don't need the support anymore. I choose to check in now and again just to remind myself of key things. It takes time but I've reset alot of my internal opinions and found my boundaries 😊. It is liberating & if I do get caught out again I reckon I'd fight and leave even better than I did before, cos of this great channel. Good luck to you ❤ x + ty RG x :)

[@fightingfiresusa2961]

@ thank you 🙏 ❤️😊

[@margaretaklemming2492]

As far as my understanding goes a narcissist asks over and over again about the same topic and always from the beginning because he is unable to listen and apprehend. To a narcissists mind you are not external, you are internal so he only see you moving your lips, and he imitates listening as he has seen others doing.

[@Betternow1974]

I didn't give him anything when I went no contact, no reason no explanation, just cut him off. He was standing at my door the very last time he tried to weasel his way in to try to control the narrative and ignored him, it actually looked like he was about to try my door, he looked that desperate. Left a note and a tiny rose and it said on the front of the letter, DONT CUT ME OUT OF YOUR LIFE. I ripped it up threw letter away along with the 20 other notes and cards in the mail. Lives in my apartment complex. I know he was constantly lying because of how crazy I felt and if people think that someone lying to them won't hurt them, energeticly, the psyche knows and it's part of the whole gaslighting process. Especially being 69 years old he knew what he was doing.

[@Prometheuspredator]

You stole his control & power over your life. Narcissists become obsessive & compulsive & it affects all areas of their life as they know you got one over on them. It affects their judgement, insight, and thinking ability, because of their obsessive, delusional, and proper thinking ability. Then it progresses and invokes paranoid thoughts about you, others, and situations. They feel helpless, overwhelmed, confusion and powerless as they realize their life is nolonger theirs, but yours. They realize their life is out of control and you have taken control of your life. You have dismissed them out of your life and have taken ownership of your future and them not being in it.

[@Vixinaful]

69.. 48 here and he was 28. He went into psychosis aswell due to druguse. And he's three years after I stopped opening the door, like you, still ringing it and now leaving letters aswell. HOW do we get free? Do they EVER stop? Did the one you knew stop? Mine resided in the building across mine 5 months in without even asking if it was okay. There must be some way to rid them. Man would i love to hear your story. It sounds so similar to mine.

[@watchpray5343]

@@Vixinaful get a restraining order for harassment from the courthouse.

[@Laredo-c7g]

It's not about owing them anything. Honesty and sincerity is for me. That is why "no contact" is the way to go. As soon as you start lying in response, evil has won. That is the whole point... anything to pull you off your straight and narrow and to cause you to self sabotage and betray your spirit and plunge back into shame

[@MMountain82]

👍

[@SkweeGee500]

Straight up.

[@Itzanunnya2019]

Clear. Concise. NO CONTACT.

[@User414xz]

That was my vulnerable spot with the narc. Not everyone deserves your efforts in being a person who is reflective and conscious. It's not a one way street 😂

[@steadypace1262]

Narcs always lead you up a dead end street.

[@mikeperkins-y2h]

Never once have I broken NC and come away better.

[@jesh9426]

I would love a video addressing the narcissist enablers that guilt us.

[@emmsue1053]

Yes yes yes, please.. Great suggestion..

[@sage_forensics_2261]

Yes! You are protecting yourself by not sharing details or being "fully honest" with a narcissist--especially when you're trying to leave one...which CAN BE the MOST dangerous time for some types of relationships. YOU owe them nothing! However, you can protect yourself now that you understand what you're dealing with. You do owe yourself (and your children, if you have them) that much. Take care of yourself and be safe, y'all! Leaving a narcissist (especially if they are prone to violence) is NO JOKE! Peace, love, and strength to all...🙏💜⚔

[@jeanegohlke7759]

Thank you for your posts, helping with the truth about Narcissism

[@GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp]

Moving forward ⏩⏩⏩⏩

[@NatalieG427]

Absolutely true. I have an older sister narcissist that my husband and I went No Contact with over 10 years ago. It’s been quiet except for the text she would send my husband every 5 years or so about family, etc. Now this year, she sent a Christmas card to our NEW address. We bought our first home over 5 years ago. She must have looked up our address online. It’s as if she was telling us that she now knows where we live. She rents a second hand trailer for herself and her 15 or so cats. Now she knows we have our own house. We are all in our 60’s. She better not drive all the way here ( an hour & a half) because I’m not opening my door to her. After not talking or responding to her for over 10 years, you’d think she would’ve taken the hint, that we want nothing to do with her. Not now or ever. Everyone has the right to feel safe in their own home. ❤

[@soulplay6995]

Also someone maybe telling your business to the narcissist

[@storm88.]

Another gem, thx Richard! You always describe my own experiences to a T and in a way better than any ‘expert’, because no one truly understands the insidious nature of it, unless they have lived it too. 10 yrs later I still can’t describe in words to others what happened to me.

[@nicolehayes6020]

1000% agree! Will definitely never speak to my abuser again ❤✌️🙏💪🌹💯

[@willieboy8798]

sincere communication!!! your the man!!! i hope you realize the numbers of people you have helped or save from the funny farm of narcissists

[@fawnlandmobile9106]

I REALLY needed to hear this right NOW. 🙇🏾🙇🏾🙇🏾

[@privateprivate8366]

One of the issues narcissistic targets deal with is truth. They feel and are told by enablers, that they must be truthful, even with a lying narcissist. Nope, you can play dirty, too. Some time ago, I told a woman to lie her ass off. If that means stealing from her joint account, with her narcissistic husband, selling off their stuff without him knowing and whatever else she can do to escape him, then do it. Otherwise, she’ll be playing in a game she’s certain to lose, for the remainder of her life.

[@judithyacovone4879]

Facts!!!! U owe NOTHING!!!! THEY STOLE SO MUCH!!!!

[@donnaplatten4038]

100% Im on the road after six years, on the road to a new life,relationship,moving to a new destination,and hav finally found true normal soulmate! ❤😊❤

[@miovicdina7706]

That is EXACTLY what I stsrted doing. The Narcissist only knows what I tell them, and I never tell them anything that matters. Dates, names, countries I visit, ttey never know where K am nor with whom nor what people who matter to me look like.

[@SonyAk-f5z]

I am also

[@irisseer2773]

Yup. I don't even need contact. They get info from others and manipulate behind my back.

[@SonyAk-f5z]

!!They do that

[@soulplay6995]

Stop telling your business keep things as private as possible...You need to find out who is telling the narcissist your information

[@AngeloftheNew]

Done.. as soon as I knew they were lying, I did the same. Screw him.

[@Kim-wt2gl]

Absolutely. Get away from them, permanently. Done Deal.

[@ivywildwss]

30+ years to figure out I was married to a covert/fragile Narc... and now yes, I lived a LIE b/c of him. I don't owe him anything anymore

[@AGameCharacter]

The way I survived my life with my malignant narcissistic mother is by deflecting all truths about mh life and constructing an interface created just for her and in this time I studied every single thing she did towards me and others…she still believes the interface and she kinda knows that I know, but she has no idea how much

[@linnnea8171]

Thankfully my vulnerably narcissistic mom couldn't care less about my life. All she thinks about is herself and her victimhood. It is literally her only hobby.

[@Deelitee]

You mean she knows it’s your interface?

[@JB-Toro1]

It’s so heartbreaking 💔 being through this situation

[@SpiritedAngel-s7k]

We owe ourselves to Speak the Truth..🤔.God will deal with the narcissist in his own special way🙏

[@apex11177]

Richard, you have been a bright light house beacon cutting through the thick NPD fog I've been living in. As much as it hurts, being aware of the intentionality behind the abuse has been key to recovery. They know what they're doing and they know the effect it's having on you. They just don't care.

[@Mamazza]

Great perspective, so very true!

[@bluecrystal3900]

You dont owe them truth or an explanation 😓😱

[@geraldfriend256]

So true. I call it gaslighting the gaslighters. Of course with the ideal of no contact then one less lie to tell or dozens less to hear.

[@kristinmeyer489]

The terminally insincere. Yup.

[@jdmarr2259]

100%. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

[@christinav3383]

So true. I’m empath and I had a lifetime of lies from the ex, his parents and my 2 sisters who were all family narcissists. They were a narcissistic pack attacking me and trap setting me legally as well they saw me as a pushover. Just 5 years ago I moved home and went NO contact for life by blocking all their numbers. It’s the best thing I ever did. I’m sad that I didn’t do it years ago but better late than never.

[@martemacdougall1985]

YES YES YES YES YES this was such an important message for me to receive today. I have been trying to figure out how to deal with the latest communication from this person, whom I walked away from over 4 years ago. Now I understand my gut feelings. I DON'T HAVE TO DO OR SAY ANYTHING! EVER! WHAT A RELIEF! ✨️💖 THANK YOU.

[@serendipitybeck]

Hearing someone else tell me these things is so reassuring. I have learned so much about a narcissist's abusive tactics and behaviors. Thank you!

[@JF32304]

If you can do it, do not engage!

[@chiffonking6952]

This video is pure FREEDOM! Thank you Richard!!!

[@LizKoegel]

They have a narc heart....a wooden heart. No contact TY. Don't owe narc truth. Terminally insincere.Get those sunken tendrils out out out. Great advice .🙏🙏🙏💯💯💯🌍🌎🌍♾️♾️♾️🛡️🛡️🛡️ THANKYOU for your Divine help.

[@locaitaliana]

NO ITS NOT!!!!!!!! Once you learn how to deal with these people-it’s EASY AS PIE ✌🏽💯

[@rameaudelapierrecatherine5312]

Really ???

[@locaitaliana]

@rameaudelapierrecatherine Yes.

[@humbull]

Wow, easier said than done. But, so very true. Be true to yourself

[@humbull]

Well, that's the truth humbull

[@nehakanauje9788]

True...this is the first time in my life i have started hiding things about my life...as if I am trying to hide parts of myself....

[@september4877]

I don’t want to lie, but that doesn’t mean I have to give the truth to him either. I just refuse to answer with “that’s not something I’m willing to share”. No contact is best if you can but if they harass you at work and you can’t leave, you don’t have to give the truth.

[@sarahmarsden9440]

Spot on… still no contact and moving forward never felt better

[@sarahmarsden9440]

Strangely still get him out of my head though any suggestions on to how ?

[@HarryBarker-yp1xv]

This little sister and daughter of a narcissist refuses to save these people ever again.after I quit caring and walked away, karma came in a swung a block.

[@Glitter504]

100% facts . Only freedom Is leave them And never look back and BLOCK on all accounts sm etc

[@cadehues]

“You don’t owe the narcissist truth, you can abandon a sincere relationship”

[@Diamondjane54]

I agree. Freedom isn't free and bcz I have a sense of self worth, self respect does not mean the NPD does. My ex would snatch my soul out of my heart in a second and wouldn't think twice about leaving me dazed and broken, but of course he loves me😮.

[@flowerpower4944]

Exactly True indeed 👍💜

[@kimberlyjager6074]

❤❤❤ still growing strong. I’ve been narc free since 2019. It was a long healing process, I know so much now. I should thank him for teaching me now I can avoid the monsters. In every area of my life, my family taught me a few lessons as well.

[@grimmgaming156]

My narc was arrested for domestic abuse, but because I was so worried about her alleged "anxiety", I kept contact with her. Now I can't spend a night alone, I have to spend every day at her place, or she loses her mind and uses guilt trips to get me to rush to her, or, now, she stays at mine when she can. She wants me to go everywhere with her, I just want to stay in MY house and have my hobbies or watch what I want on TV. But it's all "spend time with me", "I'm anxious", "I don't feel well", "I need you to do this/that/the other, for me". I thought I'd escaped, but I've been dragged back in, and it's my fault for caring. 😢

[@denisemorris5583]

Self preservation is what he speaks about. 😮

[@elmaswanepoel1598]

Damn I needed this tonight. I've learned this the HARD way! Thank you so much! This is liberating!

[@Goofygoose494]

It's taken time for me to realise exactly 💯 what saying... I'm slowly removing the hooks... Yeap I lived the lie it's ruined my relationship with family. Have one friend who sees what they are doing...to me. It's the lack of empathy 😞 after serious injury...fall from top of broken ladder. We know now year on they witnessed... Sick See why their marriage is crap...he's known to have affairs. Hell even blame the woman he hangs off

[@einstein63]

Yes I have finally come to this revelation as well...your truth must be hidden away.

[@Deelitee]

THIS IS HUGE for me!!!! I’m going to save this bc I need you to tell me this on the regular!!! I can’t even explain what a huge shift this is for me. THANK YOU, Richard. 🫶🫶🫶

[@BryanJohnson-mn9ed]

Knowing what i know now, it is the narcissist that is now at risk for abuse. Best just stay away unless they want to be traumatized.😊 i am healing because of this realization. Seriously, they would be sorry to cross me now. now

[@USvlogs12]

M happy for you Richie.. You finally fought your fears. God chose you to do the tough job !

[@BrunaDrummond]

Thank you so much for this! I jate being so honest and sincere to someone that I don’t really know and it is always surprising me. I wish I could hold things but Im so impulsive! 😣

[@BeepySheepy10]

Yes. You are a wise one.

[@mactine2k7]

These little gems are valuable!

[@fatimasankoh1868]

What are evil beings how did they decide to behave like this oh God how can PEOPLE be around this type of PEOPLE ? So weird.

[@WatchPrayAlways]

"Terminally insincere" never heard this before but definitely gonna use this term forevermore when describing the narcs lol love it! 😂

[@lukeparsons1187]

Yes, agreed. I used to reply with details and it was always twisted and reply back to me in ways that were hurtful and manipulative, whether it was directly to me or through my lawyer etc. Now I take a breath and wait before responding, deciding whether I need to respond at all. If it's about the kids and it is something that does need a response, it has to be very objective, very basic, very short.. if they asked for a yes or no, then that's all they get.. a 1 word answer.

[@izzy-440]

Sending this to myself as a reminder

[@blissfulbaboon]

And you've allowed it.Stop allowing it.

[@brigitte2217]

Thank you from Germany 😢

[@clairexxx0405]

Thank you so much for this Richard and 💯 agree.

[@TR-nv3if]

They don’t deserve the truth or the respect..

[@NicoleMachele]

I need to really ponder this… “you’ve lived a lie because of them” hits home… for most of my life I saw myself through my narcissistic mothers eyes and believed that that was who I was… my husband of 25 years has been showing me that I am not the person that my mother wants me to think I am… she once said to him when he ran into her at the shops “you don’t know my daughter the way I do” and he replied “I know your daughter far better than you ever will and you will never find out what a special person she is because you’re a liar and we want nothing to do with you”! She stormed off in a huff causing a scene… 😂 her “friends” are distancing themselves from her, and have been for years, cause they see her for what she is and I had no idea… I have been no contact for 6 years this time and will not have any contact with her for the rest of her life or mine…

[@tennyc]

5 narcs from my past tried to contact me Christmas 🎄, their fave thing , ruin a holiday long after they've been blocked & chopped . Like a rat trying to enter a home they will continue to forage & dig looking for a way inside . They all got dust & silence . Run people , RUN for your very life

[@ManaPDDr.med.habil.Tehrani]

Thank you so much 🙏that was the answer that I prayed to receive for 5 days. My Ex wants to meet me to make Peace …I was not sure what to do. Now i know it , many Thanks to you 🙏🙏🙏

[@agnesa154]

Your God sent and thank you so much for your guidance and advice❤❤❤

[@morgana4075]

Here's my concern with this..... it took me a while to realize that I did not need to tell my npd partner the truth about how I was feeling, what I was doing, etc.. and that was HARD to swallow bc I'm an honest person, but I realized that sometimes lying is better to protect myself. Actually, usually, it's better to lie around him to protect myself. The caveat: I felt like I was sliding more and more into adopting his npd traits by starting to lie. You say we adopt some of their traits as our reality melds with their matrix-constructed reality. And I certainly felt this.. none more than when I started lying like he does. It was a moment of clarity about how sick the relationship was and how sick I had come to be.

[@emmsue1053]

Thank you, truth and trust are a mutual thing.

[@Destiny-fi9bm]

🎯 You always get straight to the point,Thank you 😊

[@DaisiesRoses]

I have to speak to the narc because we have a child. But.. when he calls he only gets to speak to our child. And on speaker phone only. I no longer speak to him at all. He gets zero contact with me. It’s been life changing.

[@theresaandrade5708]

Very true, I was informed a long time ago that I need to find the hook that's keeping me hooked into the arguments with them so I can unhook it!

[@Wonderwall36]

my sentiments exactly. Re-balance a sick and unbalanced relationship.

[@crose1469]

This is helpful. Thank you.

[@susananderson4835]

When im cornered and/or fighting back i find it easier to defend if im being sincere to myself. Ive learnt that saying something along the lines of 'what i choose to do or say is none of your business'. As its the truth i feel good and they get nuthing. :)

[@60sGirl123]

I tell them nothing, which leaves them free to make up stories and slander me, however, they are not able to derail plans I have made. For example, if you had a job interview, and you told them, they would make sure to ruin your interview day by starting a gigantic feud the night before. This would keep you up half the night, and keep you from focusing on your task. Tell them NOTHING!!! I’ve recently gone from grey rock to no contact though. Such a huge relief.

[@serafinapizzo9273]

Yes. You. So. Right. Sir.

[@TheWayofFairness]

If you do people wrong, you get hurt.

[@mary_canary]

Damn right!

[@enaothman]

I needed to hear this today! Thank you so much for the affirmation 🫰🏼🥹

[@michellecloete118]

Totally agree. Cut off all contact.

[@ivydancer221]

I see my ex once in a while, bc we have a child. He is / was a vulnerable one. ATM he behaves very well, bc I showed him boundaries. He SEEMS to have gotten humble. I know this is tactics, but I can live with it. The reason why I know I still have to heal: I recognize how hesitant I am to tell him in fact the truth - The truth about how well I feel, how happy I am, what a great progress I make. To prevent him from the bad feelings he get from such information. 😂😂😂 Seeing it from this perspective, it probably sounds pretty f*ckd up. But I'm sort of fine with the current situation. It was way harder a year ago. I currently take part in Richard's 30 day challenge. A boost to my healing process. It is gold. ❤

[@celesteinman56]

Omg your right. It works out so much better that way.

[@cathyh1680]

I think it's more accurate to say you don't owe them any further 'disclosure', just to be clear that you are not actually being untruthful to them at all.

[@TheLC253]

And why can’t you? If anything has to be said at all, the only requirements are that it be minimal as possible…it doesn’t have to be truthful!

[@lindajh5672]

@@TheLC253 Agreed. Think of it like this. If you were illegally being held and tortured in a prison camp , do you really think you have to be honest with the prison guards who are illegally holding and torturing you???????? NOPE NOPE NOPE. you don't have to tell them anything, and if you have an escape plan and the guards ask you where are you going????------are you really going to tell them that you are going to escape?????? NOPE NOPE NOPE. Similar to the narc situation, if you have an escape plan that involves you telling them that you're going out to go to the grocery store when in fact you are going out to go stay somewhere else and you are never going to come back --------are you really going to tell them that?????? NOPE NOPE NOPE. Don't be naive. We are talking here about survival, and I mean that in the very literal sense.

[@Kathy-q7b]

Absolutely 💯 🙌 thanks 😊 🙏

[@brianocallaghan5612]

The courts need reform to protect their innocent children and the abuse allowed without consequences from parent alienation. Sooo sad

[@anne-marietracey4866]

Wished I’d seen this several months ago when I was still being honest and open with my nex. Wished I’d played the same game he had with me. But he’s gone now, thank the lord and completely blocked 🚫

[@iw9338]

Yes, tendrils and tentacles 😮have to be removed

[@heatherconner9932]

Nothing 🚫 ❤️🧿