You Japa'd because of your children, be prepared to Japada because of them! 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Akomolafefam]

Join our channel groupchat for questions and suggestions chat.whatsapp.com/J7pIeI4ish3EjatYrTLw2R

[@ibukunoluwaomotoso]

Weldone if I may ask what is the purpose of the group.

[@Esther-u5f]

Sis, please reshare the whatsapp link, this one is not working, I want to join.

[@onyekachiuchenwere8748]

Same here ​@@Esther-u5f

[@gladysodiawa9307]

My darling I took my son back home going to year 3 in secondary school in London. he was born in UK 1988, he was a very good boy but I don't like the way children here are behaving and being brought up. I took him back home and stayed in Nigeria with him until after Nysc came back to do MSc forensics. You cannot have it both ways you have to choose, money or childcare. In fact I don't regret it. Almighty God takes the glory. I was scrolled for that decision but it's a very good story. God thank you. he is okay in fact he is thinking of relocating back to Nigeria with his family. Nigeria is the best place to raise children. The children that are raised aboard after sometime they detach from you.

[@Akomolafefam]

Thank you ma. You got the context of the video. This is exactly what I meant

[@wale4862]

Imagine, this is the right words for me especially as a Muslim sef. May we not have children that would call us stupid

[@gibson2675]

But as soon as they old enough they all go back

[@abionaalli]

I share similar thoughts. I'll rather raise my children in Nigeria and have them attend school up to university level and they can then go overseas for post graduate studies. Most importantly, whether raising children at home or abroad, there is no substitute for spending quality time with them. That time is the vehicle for instructing them, influencing them, teaching them and generally bonding with them.

[@azpersonal]

@@gibson2675But they are going back with some Naija sense

[@just5630]

This is the best video I’ve seen from an African mother in diaspora. Thank you for this! So real and so deep. I’m so proud an African woman living overseas understands that the overall welfare of their children and entire family trumps living abroad at any cost. Some people think living in the West is everything. You are so full of wisdom. You covered everything and balanced all sides. Watching from the US.

[@blessingohaya5443]

It depends on individual circumstances. However don't think that children don't indulge in vices in Nigeria. The fact is you will hardly hear about it because of the culture of shame in Africa. Parents will be silent about what's happening to their kids and kids will pretend to Parents. I believe with God you can raise children successfully whether in Nigeria or abroad. Even children in Nigeria go astray and keep bad association. It is not only abroad that parents are busy. Speak to Parents that work in Lagos especially. All I am saying is that Nigeria or Africa is not the mecca for raising responsible children. It is all by the grace of God.

[@auntyjayne]

👏👏👏

[@ukariogulu1417]

Cultism is the worst problem particularly for boys in Nigeria. Lack of youth engagement in training programs like I.T. etc. is also a problem. If you can solve these two challenges-- Nigerian culture is better than the western world. ​@auntyjayne

[@wale4862]

True but they don't allow you to discipline your children abroad

[@just5630]

That’s true. And that’s why she said you have to watch out for the warning signs. Also, we are talking of the possibility of it happening in the West is so much more at a higher percentage rate as compared to Nigeria. Plus, having a free hand to discipline your own children overseas is not easy and is usually frowned upon even when you’re not abusing them. And these kids abroad know the law and their “rights” and can use it against you. The same institutions that don’t want you to discipline your kids will be the first to put them in detention or jail when they do something against the law at an older age. The comparison is apples and oranges really.

[@muyideensanusiallaboutduba9109]

You are combining a different situation and culture...there are something that do not give children freedom because neither the parents or the government give the will or audacity to misbehave freely. The same way your own wife can send you out of your house is same way your kid can arrest you with a police abroad.

[@moradekejoaquim5215]

I live in the U.K. and have 2 adolescents- both born here. They are well behaved and mindful of what they say. They even kneel and prostrate to greet us and our visitors. It is important to live with your children and sending them back to Africa is not always a good option. Best wishes!

[@supersoniqamanyi3075]

Typical Narcicistic African parents would fight you for saying this.

[@akintundeoluwatosin5367]

Some parents are not lucky, especially when they don't create time to blend with their children. All they do is run😊 to pick shifts and make money.

[@denniskcobi3470]

Thanks alot

[@denniskcobi3470]

If I may ask why those children born in Nigeria that is OK is still running to uk and Canada and Australia why not them stay in Nigeria ,

[@victorslyvester8977]

@@denniskcobi3470u have been asking dis questions, everywhere, is bcos of money, u earn more outside then in Nigeria. Oya rest

[@PaulAnums]

My sister, it takes the grace of God to train children no matter where you live. All we need is to instill in them Gods word and pray with them daily.

[@chinazomagbo7365]

I think the truth is that parents sometimes say they japa because of their children, but when they get there they forget and start working for themselves to be richer. As humans we are selfish. And it’s not that they miss the signs, they feel incapacitated.

[@Ray4Media]

This point is apt

[@omokaroojiire]

The Western system is designed to trap people who aren't aware of its working. Those who aren't vigilant about implementing an exit plan will be trapped by the system. Even if one is disciplined and has the focus; it's still very difficult to beat the system, especially when children are involved! The most important gifts we can give to our children is the fear of God, the ability to speak our native tongue and instill a strong cultural identity in them.

[@livinusluka6692]

Hmmm! This may explain it all.

[@Kipitreel_]

Exactly everyone gets too busy for the kids nd allow them raise themselves and you wonder y the kids r the way they are

[@ndubuisinnamani]

The exact truth.

[@RealTalk196]

The most important video ever japa parent must watch. Raising children abroad is not a joke. If not careful, it’s easy to lose them to the system or societal failures

[@Akajasi]

I always tell my people having lived in the UK for 12 years and back n forth 🇺🇸 this life no balance. I live in East Afric now but what i have reality the grass is never greener water where you are. We all fight to move and run away from our countries but a visa cn either be. Curse or a blessing. Theres suffering everywhere in the world in UK theres suffering 🇺🇸 usa people are homeless in Africa same thing. I had to look for God for guidance even when i get visa now i have to first consult Elroi the God that sees me. Life is spiritual 🙏

[@Linda-M1-i4n]

You have a calming voice I enjoy listening to you thank you.

[@MsI-yf4gj]

Hahaha love her voice.....1st video I'm watching

[@AminaEuniceLydia]

This is the best video ever,this has been in my mind to do from when I saw how this system is for my children. Don’t be distracted if people don’t like this video because they will never understand Example Is just like looking at the physical when the spiritual is the main thing that controls the physical Is what people will never understand

[@godlyfashionable2037]

Japa or not, the children being raised are different from old time. I'm still in Nigeria, my toddler would ask me boldly why I beat him when I do, he wants an explanation for everything, he doesn't just want to be ordered around... the only good thing right now is that he's soft-hearted and able to apologize for his mistakes. God will help every parent

[@akereaishat5686]

That child will boldly tell his/her teacher what you did and....... Safeguarding issues is showing gradually

[@afrikanheritage99]

When we're speaking about the dynamics in the West. Nigerians at home should keep quiet and try to learn one or two things. The cultures are so far apart.

[@godlyfashionable2037]

@@afrikanheritage99 being at home doesn't mean we don't have family and friends raising children in the diaspora and it doesn't mean we're not learning after all the essence of the video is to prepare one's mind and not to scare so it's rude and very rude of you to say we should keep quiet. Regardless of where you raise children, it's only God that helps because you can be in Nigeria and do everything possible, impart morals and all and your child can decide to be a pretender just that the host gave an example, that you'll be wondering if it's your child that did something or not. As for me, Anywhere I go I leave my children in God's hands and reason I left 9-5 jobs so I can have time to raise them while doing other things

[@kelechiemerole3000]

Nigeria has changed o. The values are no longer the same anymore. Carry bible, God and follow up your children.

[@balogunwole6314]

My family is less than two years in UK and my children are confident and could look me in the face to say their mind. I have to use wisdom and fear of God to deal with them. Thank for such valuable information.

[@akereaishat5686]

Hmm...

[@bunmid5564]

I really like this content. Very balanced! You are a very emotionally intelligent woman. God bless you 🙏🏽

[@shoyemititilola2781]

My own opinion is that African parents are always working for people in Nigeria, they don't have time to look after their children

[@nexusfashion661]

You have to put Nigeria on a budget. If you can only afford 50 dollars, so be it. You cannot neglect your family and take care of others. I have put my family on a budget for years. They have something to look forward to monthly.

[@afrikanheritage99]

True.

[@bosunfestus3900]

Perfect Talk am proud of you people think abroad is so special not knowing Home Nigeria is the best I love ❤️ your conversation I live in United Kingdom most time in Naija now

[@denniskcobi3470]

If I may ask why those children born in Nigeria which is the best is still running to the same uk and America and Canada and Europe why , and why the same father and mother that bring them back to Nigeria pushing them to go back to the same uk and America and Canada and Europe why ,

[@debbiearts4154]

I like to draw our attention to the word of God in Proverbs 22:6. We are commanded to train our children in God's way either abroad or in other parts of the world. It doesn't really matter the country because as a youth leader I have seen and heard youths in Nigeria joining cultism, prostitution and other evil vices despite home training. All we need is Divine wisdom and constant prayer for God's guidance in training them. We as parents also need to portray Godly examples to our children and not be hypocritical. May God help us.

[@Moabayi-yf6ul]

Look, I believe the Bible. Raising children in the western world while both parents are working full time and struggling to pay bills is hard. Besides, it takes time to serve God aside from the regular church attendance. Work takes a lot from the lives of immigrants and the trickle down effect tells negatively on the home, causing the marriage to implode eventually. African societies are more relaxed and parents enjoy a lot of autonomy unlike the west where you have no right to make decisions once a law is passed about certain things that affect your children. Religion can’t change such laws but leaving such environment will. Let’s be realistic.

[@afrikanheritage99]

​@@Moabayi-yf6ul Nice 👍 thank you.

[@toyin-oema]

​@@Moabayi-yf6ulWhy should work take us away from raising our children....

[@solarobinson475]

I like the way you talk; so down-to-earth and natural. Keep it up❤

[@humidg355]

It is the grace of God and great effort to raise Godly children. Wherever you are living, be prayerful whether UK or Nigeria

[@PaulAnums]

I agree with you 100%.

[@margaretoludotun2351]

My Inlaw relocate all her children from America back to Nigeria now they’re back to America for their masters it is the best decision of her life

[@seyisadesina]

Raising Children generally is not easy but the fact remains, there are places you wont want your children to be raised to avoid negative up bringing...

[@adetolaadegbenga504]

Well my children are having their primary education in the uk 🇬🇧 but thier secondary school for sure will be in nigeria 🇳🇬. Then we will evaluate if their university will be in nigeria or uk 🇬🇧. Children can turn sour here quickly

[@successmacfish9787]

I think it is better to do primary school in Nigeria cos it will be a very strong moral foundation for them. Secondary school in Nigeria is terrible too. Don’t be deceived.

[@RonnyRoyal1789]

Good decision.

[@henry5118]

Same here. I did that with my two kids and it’s turning out to be an excellent decision. May God bless our children.

[@agnessphiri5036]

Listen to your heart mama....come home and enjoy the peace of mama Africa ❤we are waiting

[@NiyiOmo]

Madam, you're 100% right . Me and my wife are in Canada, my son is now 14, I'm planning to go back to Nigeria this January and stay until he's done with highschool and join us in Canada. I'll have to stay in Nigeria for two years. Some people think what children wants his material things, most parents don't even see or open their eyes to see

[@lanreoginni5611]

You are so right. What i saw in UK with secondary school students convinced me i couldnt raise my kids in that society.

[@UnilorinTECHub]

Eye opening viewpoint. Thank you.

[@ktech2762]

Look up an article about Dr. Femi Ayeni and wife Titi Ayeni in the National Post (Jan 2 2025). They moved their five children to Canada. Femi had studied in Canada. After completing his studies in Canada in medicine, Femi returned to Nigeria as a general surgeon where he later opened a medical school.

[@more2life741]

Absolutely true! Living abroad comes with its perks, but it also has its fair share of challenges. Honestly, I feel like a lot of people choose to travel because the basics we need back home are either missing or feel impossible to achieve. The ones responsible for fixing things often leave their duties undone, which makes it even harder. Being abroad isn’t easy-it comes with its own struggles-but it does offer opportunities to earn the capital needed to make a difference. It provides a sense of stability and sanity, even though it brings its own unique set of problems.

[@afrikanheritage99]

Sanity can't be written in the same sentence with living abroad. And stability? Wait until you lose your job and not find another quickly. You sound brand new to wherever you are. You're still in your honey moon period.

[@more2life741]

Smiles! 😂The definition of sanity might differ from person to person, but in this context, here’s what I mean: I have access to stable electricity, clean water, and drivable roads. Sure, these come with bills, but at least they’re consistently available-unlike what we experienced back home. The jobs here may not be our dream roles, but they cover more than just the basics. And even though discrimination exists, I can approach law enforcement and get things done without having to bribe my way through. Bro, have you noticed the sign at our country’s airport departure area? The one that says only the traveler is allowed inside? Add to that the men in black turning the entrance into a “business center” for collecting “fees.” It’s honestly exhausting. And the stories are endless. I once paid 40k to recover a 100k debt from a driver on the platforms you know. Or how about the time I had to humble myself in front of my tenant just to collect my rent? When I can can’t even survive a month delay in payment. Truth be told, living abroad offers a level of sanity that our home country struggles to provide. It’s not perfect here, but the difference is undeniable.

[@Godwintech247]

Great content. One of my fears of relocating to UK 🇬🇧 is this work work work thing. Life doesn’t suppose to be that hard, but the system has made it that way. I need my rest oooo.

[@israeliseoluwa6704]

I subscribed before even listening much! i knew you'd give something meaningful. I'm learning much already.

[@annejesus3361]

I love the way you talk...simple .honest and very clear. Welldone ma 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@saadatudaily]

Nice topic. New subscriber here. May God make us proud of our children but abroad and back home. May we only cry tears of joy for them. May we not regret our major investment of bringing them abroad. Amen❤

[@ayenim.a1657]

I didn't know when I watch the video till end. Nice content.❤

[@Phumzy280]

The part where you have to work round the clock just to please some family members friends and foes in Nigeria is the worst for me. Someone very close to me needs to watch this. Pleasing your family to displease your children and spouse is hypocrisy., never let the family you come from ruin the family that comes from you.

[@Truth_Unchained]

Funny. Mine was the reverse. Amongst other things, my kids are one of the reasons I don't dream of relocating to the western world from Nigeria.

[@ibaileibaomo7660]

Happy for you. I lived in America for 35yrs and have decided never to move my naija born children abroad. The mental and emotional toll on children is not worth it. I see my children playing and happy so why would I uproot them to unfamiliar and strange culture.

[@Truth_Unchained]

@ibaileibaomo7660 My dear. My own decision is greatly working for me ( I kid you not). Nobody is forcing you o. Every mallam wit hin own kettle😊. Do you & I do me. . My comment was based on the You-tuber's discussion in this video. Definitely she is not telling any Nigerian in the diapora to come back to Nigeria. She is just chronicling her thoughts & journey back to our country in a video. Abeg no fear🤣. NB - I apologise for my response to you. I just read your comment and I realised my error. You were talking about taking your Nigerian born children abroad which I misunderstood to be the reverse. However, I would leave this my comment for Nigerians in the abroad to read because this kind of video & my comment triggers most of them in the negative way😁.

[@agnessphiri5036]

I see you .very wise❤

[@agnessphiri5036]

​@@ibaileibaomo7660I hear you❤

[@ibaileibaomo7660]

@@Truth_Unchained No problem. I was actually supporting your decision.

[@nkechinyereugo9982]

Between our respect and their confidence, I'll choose ours any time, any day. Nigerians have and inherent confidence from birth and our culture taught us that.

[@victoriaawofodu1412]

Great job madam 🎉❤. Jehovah God will help us all to success .

[@Rumbu_P]

Really instructive video. Bless you and all the black kids out there...may God shield them from bad influences. A new SUBBIE here Planning to Japa this year God's willing....also to give my family and my future kids a much better chance at life.

[@OGsAfricanStories]

Thank you very much for this

[@allthingsnadinemaria]

You are so right my sista. I was wondering when someone was going to talk about this topic.

[@omololaokeadeola6161]

I gave a thumbs up before I watched the video just bcos of d topic. I moved here permanently with my family 3yrs ago majorly bcos of my children/family, amongst other reasons. I have ja'd dem pada😂 already(no regrets) ....... I do have a peculiar reality for making that difficult move, but you are saying the truth👍.

[@Akomolafefam]

😅😅😅

[@roseoghayeju1972]

The perfect place is in GODS PRESENCE where there's FULLNESS OF JOY AND PLEASURES EVERMORE available for ALL to enjoy where ONE LOVE ALWAYS PREVAILS REIGNING GODS GLORY OUR HERITAGE HALLELUJAH 🙏🏿♥️😂

[@agnessphiri5036]

Wonderful wise mother ❤

[@Precioussue952]

It is God that raises Children and it does not matter what country. You have to lift them up to God everyday. There are children that are raised in Ghettos of America, London and other European countries and they are well behaved. Nothing is possible without God. Parents has to devote time to the children and lift them up to God.

[@ashopy7867]

Absolutely true. Thanks

[@Shanthairtouch22]

New subs here🎉

[@MarvelAdebowale]

My concern for you is that, the age you want to relocate them from one point A to B, make sure you do so before the age they'd know how to move by themselves to go about seeing friends under your nose, if at all you plan to do it

[@angelgilly25]

I just requested to join your Whatsapp group. May God help us as parents to raise godly children anywhere in the world 🙏🏻.

[@ladytee4865]

Nice topic sis 👏 👌🏽

[@Olalekan_O]

You are objective. I like you line of thought. The important thing you said is the God factor.

[@samalapsy]

Nah God dey help person raise pikin... even here is Nigeria as well.. Parenting is hard work... provision of basic needs is little compared to the emotional, physicial and spiritual effort. Sadly the system we have today(everywhere) don't give room for proper parenting.. Thank you for this. It's an eye opener for many.

[@Encrypted628]

As Nigerians, we like to eat our cake and have it, it can’t be that way. On one hand, we want to take them away from all the lack of opportunities in Nigeria, on the other hand you want to also want them to retain the “values” that we got while growing up. Those “values” are parent-dependent. Parents are still failing their kids in Nigeria. So it’s about finding the right balance. Japa to give them the opportunities you think they deserve, create the time to train them with “values” that you want but that will still enable them to adapt in their new location. It’s hard, but it has to be done, but you don’t necessarily have to Japada. I’m here with my kids, it’s clear to them they are in a Nigerian home and will not do nonsense or else they will see nonsense…😂😂😂😂 Thanks for sharing, all the best.

[@abayomiolamideodebiyifatod3859]

Thanks for this!

[@GenAviationClub]

I think this channel is fast becoming my favourite place to learn. This is so for many reasons, it perfectly aligns with my line of thought and abroad living and returning. It is clear you are a family orientated woman and doing everything in your power to plan for your family. I am grateful for sharing your journey. As a young man with a growing family I am learning alot that would be useful when I finally perfect my Japada plan

[@Nwuha]

It all depends on which side of the prism one views. I am within my first 5 years. I am already making my plans to relocate back after a number of years. The earlier, the better. The two cultures differ greatly. It's difficult to combine work and childcare here. But with God all things are possible.

[@RasheedahR]

​@@NwuhaI share the same thoughts as you. The 5years is looking like 10 yrs for me

[@joybest-vlog]

Straightforward disobedience 🤣🤣🤣

[@peace7685]

Thanks for this, it is very helpful

[@Shege3706]

To each his own. There’s no one size fits all and results will be on a case by case basis but it’s good for them to experience both sides and for parents to keep language and some traditions alive from birth if you don’t want them to forget their origin.

[@topearemu6760]

Very balance narrative. Well done.

[@somayinaayerite7643]

You are a true mother. God bless you

[@shoyemititilola2781]

Most people coming back have their British citizenship with their families they can come in and go out any time they want,and they have investment as home, please don't be discouraged have family friend who invested millions of naria in school businesses today the have to run back to UK Nigeria happens to them

[@Moabayi-yf6ul]

Even if they move back to the UK, it doesn’t matter! They moved to Nigeria and spent some time there. That’s something significant. Would you say the UK happened to the parents who lost their children to knife violence? Or the parents whose children have been badly shaped by the UK’s negative influences??? Did Nigeria happen to those people too?

[@afrikanheritage99]

Always those negative bad news carriers 😒 They never see returnees who're successful in Nigeria 🇳🇬

[@mayorfad5233]

Thank you very well said that's why I don't really pay kee attention to this people probably they needed fans for their KZbin channel 😀

[@chinyerechinwuba]

I’m sending my kids back to Nigeria during their adolescent age ,they have to do their secondary school over there and then come back for university after the Nigeria culture must have inculcated that training in them That’s my plan.

[@Akomolafefam]

God bless you sis

[@Akajasi]

Good luck

[@Shanthairtouch22]

That my thought too😊

[@goshuttle09]

This life no balance, omo things are happening, who no go, no go know or understand.

[@angelicakweku5293]

Most children raised in Nigeria are more familiar oriented than most raised abroad. #fact!!

[@toyinorry4659]

My own opinion, u can raise them in uk when they reach age 11 to 12,take them back to naija and jave their adolescence age there,if they wish to come back and continue their study,it all depends on their choice

[@mariamlamina5683]

Absolutely correct. I brought my kids when they were 8:10 now two years added I see they growing to become a teenager and my mind is telling me to go back and finish their secondary school back home. So help me GOD

[@josbeam8550]

It's all about personal choices.No matter what you can still raise a well balanced children with respect in the UK despite the challenges.Its not all doom and gloom.

[@omajonathan9928]

I tell all Africans. Bear with your heritage and improve upon your personal self and eventually all will be well. Mowt never know what freedom is until you have been out there in the real world. Make your money at home, go on holidays to be exposed but never agree to be enslaved or become lost. This lady has done a wonderful video.

[@leolion9535]

There is issue of location and the kind of people your children interact with. Always keep an eye on your children

[@lola2659]

I think it's also important to be firm with one's children but also have that friendship. I think a lot of Nigerian parents are not like that because of how they grew up, but the world has changed so they may struggle to be able to bring their children in line.

[@Kay-D500]

"...also have that friendship." Very good point.

[@atee3938]

Thanks for this video.As a matter of fact, i see most Africans and immigrant are ignorant of their right as a parent and also able to draw a line betwen the right of the child.In some cases , the right of a parent in some areas supercede the child's right.A case in which you ask a child to go to school or dosome legally things and he refuses,u can excercise your right as a parent.I had a case with my child of 5 years,i discussed with d childrens office and they said the child has no such right to say he wont do some things .lIke saying he wont go to school, you should not beat the child but make the child understand your right as a parent is to ensure he does such things and report him or her to necesary authorities.Parent refuse to take actions and just allow kids do anything bcos they feel the child has a right to do whatever he or she likes bcos this is europe or America.This is not true to my own knowledge

[@chinwenducharles4334]

Prayer and extra effort is the solution

[@juliusoba6488]

Two things I have observed that’s partially responsible for children going astray in the UK are: 1) Single Parent Households. Especially single mothers. Up to age 8, children do well with single mothers. After 8 years, children need their fathers to support them. 2) Women attacking their husbands every time they attempt to correct their children. These women have no bad intentions but are doing this from their maternal instincts. However, by refusing the fathers from correcting the children in the manner suitable to a man, the children lose respect for their fathers and then go astray. This is a battle that I fought for many years because I read about the consequences lack of fathers will have on the child. I want to encourage the men out there to fight the good fight and don’t give up. Your wife has good intentions by protecting her children. However, you should let her know that she is not helping the children by making it impossible for their father to correct a wrong behaviour. If done correctly, In the end, both parents will be happy.

[@backstory701]

I hear you, but let fathers not abuse their children in the name of correction. Some fathers become overly aggressive on the children and that in itself can make a child rebellious, and when the child eventually rebels against that harsh treatment, fathers blame the mothers for not wanting the child to be disciplined. Everything has a balance, and that's often what mothers try to make fathers understand. Thank you.

[@Akomolafefam]

@backstory701 Love this. Thanks

[@juliusoba6488]

@@backstory701 you have assumed the worst case scenario and herein lies the issue. For the record, mothers abuse children far more than fathers do. This is backed up by data. Most fathers want the best for their children. Mothers should therefore support their spouses to ensure that bad behaviour is corrected and also to prevent abuse. Please understand that men are different from women and our methods are also different. For example, when a child falls, the mother rushes to comfort her child but the father would ask the child to pay attention to their surroundings to prevent them from falling. The man’s actions may seem harsh but is necessary for the development of the child. Hope this helps.

[@backstory701]

@@juliusoba6488 I don't quite understand the worst-case scenario I have assumed here. Most mothers do not refuse their husbands to discipline their children - they rather object to the method that said discipline is administered. And this is not because of a mother's lack of understanding of gender differences, it is simply because what is wrong can be objectively observed to be wrong, regardless of who is looking at it. You were talking specifically about mothers "attacking their husbands every time they attempt to correct their children". This is the issue I am addressing; I did not know you were coming from a wholescale men vs women viewpoint - because the "mothers abuse children more than fathers" line is just wild. Bottom line: There are ways to NOT discipline children. A man's presence, the authority of his voice and his masculinity are needed in the home - women know this very well, and that's why they often stay in unhappy marriages "for the sake of the children". However, sometimes men can and do go overboard in this disciplinarian role, and that's when mothers intervene to protect both you the father, and the child you are attempting to discipline. Because your children being terrified of you does not mean they respect you. Being very harsh on them often builds resentment, and it is that resentment that breeds rebellion. Please sir, let us not act like there is no way of being firm and stern as a father without being abusive (physically, verbally, emotionally). Or that a woman's softness makes her unable to tell the difference between discipline and something else. No. Don't become overly and unnecessarily harsh on your children because they will surely rebel, and you will still blame their mother for it. That's all.

[@juliusoba6488]

@@backstory701 again, your point is perfectly understood. However, 99% of fathers usually don’t abuse their children. It’s usually step fathers that do abuse children the most. My post is about the method of correction. Some women want their husbands to correct their children in a feminine manner. Anything else is classed as abuse. Meanwhile, children who grew up with single fathers tend to perform as well as those in two parent households. This data suggests that fathers discipline helps children to become better adults. You may not approve of the father’s methods. But if he’s doing it in love, the children will be better off in the end. Please stop using this “abuse” cliche. Father’s on average do not abuse their children. I gave an example of what a father’s love or discipline looks like in my earlier post. I’m not referring to the African context of whipping a child either when I talk about discipline. A child without discipline may not achieve their full potential.

[@jayokunz22]

Great content but please when you get to Nigeria, don't sleep with two eyes closed. Alot is going on here in Nigeria too. Secondary school children are watching pork,drinking alcohol and taking drugs.God will help us.

[@TkOdewale]

Immediately some of parents get here, they pick the worst behaviors as if they are waiting to have opportunity to leave home. You can see Oyinbo braiding hair for their male children. Then what are you training them for .

[@agnessphiri5036]

Home is home mama❤❤❤❤

[@tescobar2001]

I GET YOUR MESSAGE. HOWEVER, IF NIGERIA IS WORST, HOW WOULD U DISCRIBE AMERICA WHERE ONE CAN BE WRONGLY ACCUSED OF ANY OFFENCE AND KEPT IN PRISON FOR YEARS OR EVEN SENTENCE TO DEATH. NIGERIA IS NOT BAD, IT IS FEW BAD PEOPLE IN THE SYSTEM THAT ARE WORST.

[@dbollybell]

Honestly

[@alicesolomon3690]

Real nuggets 👍

[@aframaco9491]

It's interesting that this discussion is in public space! The mantra that people were relocating "because of their children" was common to hear!! But a better life for their children isn't remotely guaranteed! In fact i dare anyone who cares to go to any maximum prisons in England today, and they will find that the great majority of the Black youths in prison now have Congolese , Nigerian and other African surnames. A lot of the gangs now in the London underworld have the children of migrants who brought them to the United Kingdom for a better life! It is sad but it's true!! And a huge disappointment!! This repeats itself all over Europe, including countries like Sweden, France and other countries where gun violence and drug trafficking has become rampant among "children of immigrants"! Knife crime which is rampant among Black children of school age in England is not something that happens in Nigeria or Ghana. Nigeria has its good side abeg!! 👊🏾🇳🇬👊🏾🇳🇬!!

[@Akomolafefam]

Thank you for this comment. You put it better than me.

[@afrikanheritage99]

Well said 👏 Happens in the US. How heartbreaking 💔 to see ones precious child end in prison. i can't even begin to imagine how parents survive this 😢

[@olabodeajose9294]

Amazing.❤

[@kneelingparentswithpast9433]

Well done Bunmi.

[@Akomolafefam]

Thank you ma.

[@millycyril7256]

Well done for this excellent 👏 video!!! I lived across continents! I didn't marry or have children abroad; because I don't have energy to work round the clock! As a global consultant! When God blesses me to marry and have children; because I don't want want to have kids and raise them alone! God help parents!!! I currently work out of Nigeria remotely!!! If I need to go anything again; is to a country; where family 👪 living is encouraged.

[@veronicakomolafe8315]

Thank you ma.

[@successmacfish9787]

Taking a child back to Nigeria is NOT the solution. Being present to prayerfully and patiently give them the training they deserve is the solution. Bobrisky, saidaboj, james brown, aninis, kidn@P£rs, all grew up in Nigeria. I have been here for some years and have seen children that were brought up here behave very well and are very successful Professionals in the society. They never went back to Nigeria one day. One boy that was trapped into drug was influenced into it by CHILDREN FROM NIGERIA! Children of big men in Nigeria

[@afrikanheritage99]

Keep yours in the West.

[@akinjoaquim1013]

The kids not eating or used to Nigerian cuisines might be a challenge. However, keep trying

[@kpediaaa1]

There is nothing wrong with Nigeria. It just depends on the perception of everyone. Infact, Nigeria is the best place to live in the World.

[@happydavvy]

There's plenty things wrong with Nigeria pls. The insecurities, poverty, high cost of living just to mention but a few. But the only thing is parent should never loose their children to the system in abroad

[@chidozieugwu-oju7069]

@ Kpediaaa I disagree.

[@charlesessien4092]

You dont know what you are talking about. Keke napep riders high on alcohol and putting your life at risk, danfo will carry 18 passengers knowing their brakes have been failing for weeks, Police will put you in fear, betting centers everywhere and their jobless patrons will jump into your compound every night to steal and harm, etc.

[@KellyGold264]

Everything is wrong with nigeria

[@adeobama9ja]

​@chidozieugwu-oju7069 Perception, my friend, perception.

[@agnessphiri5036]

Language idear ❤very good idea

[@aayan-r9l]

We can have plans, back up plans, plans for the back up plans, back up plans for the plans of the back ups. Whether at home or abroad, it is all geography. Our lives and the children’s lives, our outcomes and the children’s outcomes are all God’s plan. The most important thing is to have a strategy to have priorities and raise these children ourselves or else the society and their peers will raise them. Many people loose focus. You cannot go to parties every weekend you are not working. And work round the clock during the week and expect to have children with a good outcome. It does not matter the geography, it would not end well. To sustain a family does not require millions. Focus on time management. Also, the most important thing is God’s grace and to pray God meets us where we are.

[@busayoafolabi-l5i]

Thanks for this message

[@afrikanheritage99]

Can Nigerians for a second stop calling this GOD and get realistic and practical. Is God meant for only Nigerians? Haba. The hyper religion doHaha. Even reflect in our characters.

[@yorubaakoye]

This is interesting! Thank you for the enlightenment. Ẹ lè fi orúkọ àwọn ọmọ yín sílẹ̀ lọ́dọ̀ mi láti kọ́ èdè Yorùbá.

[@kolawoleidowu3077]

Morning ma. My own advice for you ma is that if you are doing well over there please just continue staying there no place is perfect on earth only heaven the kingdom of GOD Is the greatest perfect place. Even here in Nigeria many people that are doing well will prefer to remain here in Nigeria because they are happy and doing well. But you having property in Nigeria is not bad is good that you have many things that will be giving you money. Another advice is that let your children finished their education maybe even getting their own job and doing well over there in London. Then you can come back home to Nigeria retired happy people are doing well here too. So that is my advice ma . And the most important thing is that you seek first the kingdom of GOD living a HOLY life a righteous life so that at the end of life here on earth you gain Eternal Life In Heaven which is the greatest rest anyone can have thank you ma. JESUS CHRIST BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

[@monicaipigbe5911]

Is in nigerian you can serve God well and to the fullest

[@mariamlamina5683]

Yes I missed working for the kingdom

[@afrikanheritage99]

Nigerians at homeland doesn't have the experience and knowledge of the Western cultures to render us any useful advice. I think that's very rude .

[@thewaziris]

Thanks for your vulnerability. My question is are you all citizens of UK already?

[@lka6448]

Lovely video. The only one thing I'd disagree with is saying Nigeria teaching kids not to stare an adult in the eye is a lack of confidence, so the former is a bad thing. That's not true. Not staring down an elder in the eye is not a bad thing! It's our culture and is neither good or bad. Just as the UK looking an elder straight in the eye is neither good or bad. These are just a matter of two differing cultures. Neither one of them is better than the other. Why shouldn't automatically see the UK style as the good one. After all, the uk culture of kids starring adults in the eye breeds disrespectful kids too. Surely, it cannot be a good thing that a bunch of 15yr olds would address your grandmother as "hi Jumoke", "hi darling"!? However, the culture of eye contact of the lack thereof is neither right or wrong, kids just go beyond what's expected. By the way, Nigerians aren't the only culture who dont stare adults down, Asians are the same, so everyone's culture must be respected. An african guy once told off someone who accused him of not making eye contact, saying it amounts to dishonesty. The African guy essentially said its discriminatory & a lack of respect for his African culture to accuse him of dishonesty because of lack of eye contact, and I completely agree.

[@akinloyeoloruntoba1768]

My son is 4 years here in the UK. Any single thing we ask him to do, he always ask ‘ Daddy or Mummy why’? God help me

[@adetolaadegbenga504]

It’s ok to ask question.

[@atee3938]

@@adetolaadegbenga504 my kids was 5 years old . i wanted to take him out for a training i bokked for him.He said he is not going , can you imagine.the problem is we as africans dont know that kids dont have some rights ,the matter was later discussed with the youth office and they said kids at some age dont have right to take some decsions bcos they can make wrong decisons.But as Africans , we do make mistakes and think this is europe and kidas have all rights to say no on some issues

[@successmacfish9787]

Tell him why? That is what child training is all about. Your children must know the whys

[@ufuomaayodele5138]

Welldone .

[@akereaishat5686]

This is my first time watching this educative program however I have as well joined the what's app group Kudos to you mama God bless you ma

[@efotomuwemcarol4689]

True talk

[@JamesBond-m4b]

Apparently, many of the people in the comments seem to be people who already thinking like you. You need to listen more to people who live where you are going to. There's nothing wrong in sending your children back home to school. But i seriously discourage trivializing your livelihood, because that will be hell-tested in Nigeria. Many Nigerians have relocated to countries as small as Benin, Togo, Ghana. A lot has changed just in the last two years that you are seriously trivializing here. Take your children to your relatives and stay where you can have an income oo. All these things go be you like film in a very short time. No be prayer o, na wetin dey ground we dey tell you.

[@raliuraliu2286]

If the kids are born in UK or US, you may Japada. However, if the kids were brought here they actually do better than kids that are born in diaspora. So there may not be Japada.

[@akinwumisamuel2161]

God's Word says, train your child and he will give you rest. It means, don't train your child and he will give you troub!e. Our children will not give us troub!e. We need backbones to raise Godly children, but we MUST submit ourselves to God to be raised first. My sister, try not to allow your male children to use dread. And the right culture of Nigeria teaches children to be respectful not timid. Tim!dity is personal temperament. Being holeric and others are temperaments

[@JQueenesther]

What do I do with the one that has turned out being so rude and disrespectful, planning to send him n the twin sister back to Nigeria, they’re 15years of age right now, but the stories of what is happening in schools in Nigeria and substance abuse I am at a crossroad right now

[@Akomolafefam]

May God help you sis. If you are sending them back pls go with them.

[@azpersonal]

Try speaking softly to him, and if nothing changes, maybe take a trip with them back home. Make sure you choose a very good school with morals, not just popularity. But please don't forget prayer and fasting; let God direct you rightly.

[@kaysmellsgood]

There are good secondary schools in Nigeria just do your own research.

[@martinolusanya6370]

So what happens to all the children that are messed up in Nigeria? Check a high number of young girls in Nigeria are doing runs, young boys are doing yahoo. So how do u navigate that? The same is in Nigeria as well, you have to work in Nigeria as well, there are bad influences everywhere, the parents have a job anywhere in the world. We always talk as if Nigeria is heaven to raise children, if you know what young people get up to in Nigeria, you will not want to have children.

[@Akomolafefam]

I think there is no nation on earth where people do not have children who turn out badly. The point is raise your own well. No one says Nigeria is heaven to raise children. There are certain control measures that can be adopted in Nigeria that may be impossible or expensive here. Children also turn out well abroad. Don't change the context of the video pls.

[@oliviaholt8341]

Exactly...the problem isn't the west or Yankee, the problem is from inside of the person or child. A potential bad child will be bad whether Yankee raised or African raised

[@oliviaholt8341]

I see a lot of good well-behaved children abroad from African busy round the clock working parents.