You Know You’re Dating an American When... | Feli from Germany

[@FelifromGermany]

What did you guys think of this video? Was there anything missing? Let us know in the comments below! 😊👇 ▸Take your personal data back with Incogni! Use code FELIG at the link below and get 60% off an annual plan: incogni.com/felig

[@chijimmy1]

I enjoyed the video. I like when you two do them together. Like the Aldi and of course the trips to Europe. I'd like to hear about the early days of you two dating. That's probably a little to invasive but I'm curious what things bugged you in the beginning.

[@jay143.]

I'm curious about the difference between cat-calling in Germany vs. United States. Are the cat-calls different in Germany, or do they not exist?

[@MlleLaura6]

Is there a similar website for Germany?

[@clarencesmith2305]

I thought you two got married last year?

[@douglasfur3808]

He's a keeper. I'm impressed by his composure and openness.

[@kevinlee7263]

"Sweetie" and "sweetheart" are not condescending in the south, but "bless your heart" definitely can be.

[@michaelsommers2356]

"Bless your heart" isn't condescending, it's downright vicious.

[@SuperDrLisa]

I'm a New Englander, I use sweetie, sweetheart, and love being called "honey" at the Dunkin drive thru

[@nicholasharvey1232]

I'm from the South but can speak as bluntly as the Germans. I never say "Bless your heart"... I just say, "You dumbass!"

[@coldwar45]

Bless your heart is the polite Southern way of calling you a fucking idiot LOL

[@cj4505]

You can insult yankess in the South, and they won't even know it.

[@ae2yosemitesamvp48]

A 75 year old man, VietNam Veteran, married 50 years, 4 kids, 9 grandchildren living up a West Virginia mountain holler here. I too say Yes Mam no matter her age, open doors or let them go first, offer to lift heavy groceries, it’s called manners. My children and grandchildren were taught to be polite to everyone.

[@mh-jg4tv]

We are grown up women and absolutely able to open a door!

[@glennhurley1479]

@@mh-jg4tv That isn't the point, and if you're grown you know it, Please don't tell me that you are one of those people when someone holds a door for you (regardless of their sex) you don't put your hand on the door like you think they're going to turn it loose and let it close in their face as they walk through it. That's the epitome of rude, even if you'd rather open your own door. It's like someone offering you a glass of cool water, and you take it from them and then throw it in their face. It's a simple courtesy that acknowledges that you exist. F'm People these days! I'm in my 70's and showing it, and I from time to time have store clerks offer to take my purchases to my car. I accept graciously even though I could have carried it myself with some difficulty, and thank them for their help. I'm not offended, Hell, I am old and broke my back in a fall last September and grateful for the help even though I wouldn't have asked them for it because I'm pretty independent, too. I could hava carried it, but if you think that's the point then you missed the point entirely. It's as simple as one human helping another - just accept graciously, and thank them. See, no sweat, and your femininity or masculinity or however you see yourself wasn't challenged at all.

[@garymatthews1280]

I’m 15 years younger but with grandparents and parents from Martinsburg, I was taught the same manners.🎉

[@rickieoakes5267]

It's not the point that you can or can't open your own door, it's considered poor manners if a man doesn't hold the door for you. Maybe you are just inconsiderate of their feelings.

[@samstromberg5593]

@@mh-jg4tv By the same vein, I'm a grown man and am able to sort out my own feelings - don't ask me how I'm doing! Do you see how that's not how it's meant? It's not meant to be derogatory. It's just being respectful. If you feel that it IS derogatory, either the guy you're with is an exception or (more likely) you're just looking for something to complain about

[@Jessica_P_Fields]

In the South (including Texas), BBQ is ALWAYS cooked over smoke low and slow. Cooking food on a grill is called 'grilling" or "grilled". Many people do actual BBQ (low and slow) in their backyard, so when they invite you to a BBQ they are still talking about this instead of grilling. But they may say "we're cooking out" or "we're grilling" if they mean putting food on a grill like hamburgers or hot dogs.

[@texburleson]

There’s smoking meat and grilling meat 👍

[@conlon4332]

To me barbecue means over a fire.

[@chefnick5231]

Barbecue is always cooked in a Barbeque you don't need smoke for BBQ, or else you would call bacon BBQ. most Americans just don't know cooking techniques and what makes it most confusing is Americans call a "grill" with the pull-up lid a BBQ when a BBQ is not a grill.

[@lrajic8281]

Some people who know what they are doing: they have a smoker! That’s a n oven with hickory or mesquite wood is also added, has a hood, takes a long time! And drink beer! Or cocktails ! 😊

[@dux_bellorum]

This is the best way to describe BBQ vs grilling! 🤌🏾

[@user-gk9lg5sp4y]

I dated a German woman for a couple of years when I lived outside of Stuttgart in the 1980s. I was in my early 20s at the time. I have to say that German culture and attitudes were different than I was used to, but in good way. I loved her and her family. We kept in touch for many years afterwards. I'm so thankful for that experience.

[@robertspitz9832]

I'm 70 yrs old, grew up in NY, and these points are basic manners that we were taught.

[@painthorse1628]

That is right good manners were not isolated to one state😢

[@kiowastew]

As how it should be. However, I've made more than a few northern non-texans uncomfortable simply by being polite with the yes ma'am/sir, no ma'am/sir, and holding doors open. I lived for a time up in Iowa and Wisconsin. I've had several women become upset with me and pointedly ask me to stop calling them ma'am because it makes them feel old. What passes for a standard after-thought way of treating people decently here in Texas is uncommon elsewhere in my experiences. Even people from Dallas get upset with politeness and don't always practice it. In Texas, many people refer to anything from Dallas and above as 'northern'. I feel like America as a whole used to be more friendly and polite, but the culture has gotten out of practice with it except in the South as a general way of doing things.

[@jasonknight5863]

Well good to hear at least one New Yorker has good manners in how they treat people. Because every New Yorker I have met has always been extremely rude expect one of them. His wife also a New Yorker is again like every other New Yorker I’ve met super rude. Same with New Jersey natives.

[@kiowastew]

@@jasonknight5863 I visited upstate NY and Cooperstown for the 2014 MLB HOF induction and the amount of foul mouth bitching I heard in Jersey and NY accents was jarring as someone being from down South. Definite culture shock.

[@octaviusmorlock]

It is worth noting that there are basically two New Yorks. (Upstate and Downstate). Results will vary.

[@timprussell]

Canadian here, we will hold the door for the next person regardless of gender. It's automatic you go through a door and check to see if someone close to the door that they will be there in 2-3 seconds. The challenge is the zone of politeness, holding the door for a stranger that is outside the zone then puts pressure on them to maybe speed their pace so then your polite gesture in a way becomes rude. Now if say an elderly person is approaching a door and no one else is close you may wait the few seconds outside the door and open it for them. If its raining we might step inside and then when the person is at the door open it for them.

[@jernidis3316]

Ben is the cutest sweetheart. The way😢 he looks at Feli, you can tell he admires and loves her so much 💗 so happy for you both. You make a great match❤

[@tomhalla426]

As a California transplant, Texas purists call very slow cooked offset smoke cooked brisket or ribs “barbecue”. Direct cooking over a grill is grilling.

[@hctim96]

That's how I read it. Love Texas BBQ and NC coastal BBQ Pig or cow, I want it now!!

[@conlon4332]

To me barbecue means over a fire.

[@chefnick5231]

you barbecue in a barbecue you grill on a grill

[@zaram131]

Texas barbecue is the only real deal.

[@glennhurley1479]

@@conlon4332 who wrote "To me barbecue means over a fire". You are right when the Spaniards landed in Florida they found the natives building racks of wood high over a small smokey fire and they called that meat, fish, anything easily spoilable "barbacoa". The Spanish, just like the other "new permanent visitors" didn't make much of an effort to get the name right. I've seen the drawings they made, and from the the height from the fire and the constant addition of greenery to make the fire smoked, I'd call what they made either "smoke-cured" or "jerky".

[@deanmarcone5171]

Mustard based barbecue is SC style. NC has vinegar or tomato based depending on which part of the state you're in.

[@kimberlywilson7929]

I like the vinegar one.

[@Irishfan]

Ma'am and Sir are the polite way to address someone you don't personally know, a stranger. We are taught to do this starting at a young age. You will hear people use Ma'am and Sir everywhere in the US. I am from Ohio, Indiana, and Michigan. And I have traveled throughout the country and I can tell you it is common. What will be surprising is the first time after you reach adulthood, because children may get addressed as young man or young lady.

[@christopherkagy5319]

I'm from Columbus, and Cinci is definitely much more southern in culture than any of the other metro areas.

[@Aeyrie1]

I'd like to add a sixth season for some areas of the US: Hunting Season. I've lived in areas that closed school for a couple days when deer hunting season began.

[@charlesmaurer6214]

Good call, remember going to school on the bus on the first day of hunting season and 2/3rds the guys got off the bus after seeing a couple bucks. From WV nextdoor to both their states.

[@JR-tr1df]

I'm... o.o not young 😋 we had ehhh guess was 6th grade firearm safety & hunting license classes 😁 at school. In the field

[@evildude109]

There's definitely an unwritten understanding that high schoolers will keep their rifle in their car so they can go deer hunting after school.

[@Cricket2731]

Late Hubs told me that at the Ford plant where he worked, there was a guaranteed 50% absentee rate in the first week of hunting season.

[@paulmaseman2171]

The mustard in South Carolina sauces originates from German immigrants. In North Carolina, livermush is a typical barbecue-related food that also originates from German immigrants. (In other regions, such as Ohio and Pennsylvania, that same dish is called scrapple.) North Carolina and South Carolina barbecue are largely pulled pork. The oldest barbecue traditions in the United States are from eastern North Carolina, where pulled pork is whole hog over Hickory wood open pits. In the central part of North Carolina around Lexington and Charlotte, it is mainly pork shoulder and the sauce has some tomato product in it, whereas in eastern North Carolina it is entirely vinegar based with no tomato product. This tradition near Lexington and Charlotte is called "western style" unlike the geographical western region of North Carolina, where there is no indigenous barbecue tradition. In some parts of Kentucky, mutton is slow roasted with a mustard sauce, particularly in the region around Owensboro. Texas barbecue tradition is largely brisket, brought to the state in the mid 1800s by German immigrants to the central Hill country. These are the German immigrants who settled around Austin and Fredericksburg. Regardless of the region in the United States, any place that professes to be interested in barbecue always defines it as low and slow. Brisket or pulled pork can take 12 hours or more to cook, not including several hours of rest time. High heat and quick cooking is always "grilled", and barbecue never refers to the equipment with which you cook the food, which is always referred to as a "grill" or a "smoker". Obwohl ich ein großes Interesse für Kochkünste habe, besonders für Barbecue, bin ich auch Deutschlehrer in Nord Carolina und folge oftmals diesen Videos. Die sind absolut großartig und nützlich in meinem Klassenzimmer, meine Schüler beizubringen. Ich habe oft Rinderbrust und Schweineschulter für zwölf oder mehr Stunden langsam gekocht, und habe vorgehabt, ein KZbin Video darüber hochzuladen. Viel Glück und viel Erfolg wünsche ich euch!

[@MickeyGSinger]

Good info about barbecue. Didn’t know. It’s like barbacoa in Mexico, sometimes translated as barbecue, and it’s the meat dish itself, in slow cooked pit.

[@mikedechant1]

I'm from Texas and eat both barbecue and barbacoa. Very similar and probably a bit of cross over influence there

[@McCumberIndustries]

Barbacoa is usually braised, not barbecued. However, with that being said, it's not too different but the flavor is obviously very different

[@mikedechant1]

@@McCumberIndustries kzbin.info/www/bejne/i2bGfpKMipecetk

[@lastfm4477]

barbacoa is no where *near as good* as Texas BBQ brisket and ribs. No where near.

[@The_Dudester]

16:09 Grew up in New Mexico, but went to college in Texas. Returned to NM for 18 months where I worked as a cop, Anyway, I had gathered seven subpoenas for a big case I was working on. I was about to walk out the door to serve them when a shift supervisor asked if I was going to serve the Subpoenas. "I'm fixin to" I replied The entire PD came to a stop and everyone stared at me as if I had just outed myself as a Martian spy. "Fixin to?" the supervisor asked. "Bye" I said as I headed out. I could hear everyone laughing.

[@kimberlywilson7929]

I grew up with that too in VA. But it's "fittin' to" 😂😂😂

[@andreperrault5393]

Or, in New Jersey, greeting a group of high schoolers with: “Hey, how y’all doin’?” Got a laugh every time.

[@dmbfan19711]

Hi Feli and Ben! I live in Texas just north of Houston. I am a proud 1st generation American. My lineage is all German. I really enjoy your videos. I haven't been to Germany since I was 8, I'm 52. I have wonderful memories of visiting for the summer several times. I have family in Munchen, Hamburg, Duesseldorf and other places. Your videos are great, thank you! In TX, when you say barbecue, it can mean many different things. Everything you and Ben said is accurate. BBQ is bigger than football! I could be going to a barbecue at my friends house and it could be anything cooked outside except seafood. That's called a boil. Crawfish season is coming soon. The Houston Rodeo is starting soon , but first, there will be the cook-off...basically a giant barbecue competition for several days that is taken verrrry seriously. There are BBQ restaurants everywhere down here. The typical menus are smoked or grilled meats served in various ways. Brisket chopped or sliced, chicken, sausage links, ribs. There are many different kinds of restaurants here including German. A quick question I haven't seen you mention... in Germany, do people still use the big goose feather beds? My sister and I both still use them. Thanks!

[@30Mauser]

As an American expat who has lived (mid-1990’s) in Germany and who is currently living in Austria, I have indeed slept on goose feather beds, but it has been many years since I’ve seen one. Always loved my visits to Texas!!

[@JWCorne67]

BBQ is slow and low. It is on charcoal or wood fire, and it takes a while. Grilling is hot and fast. Grilling is typically done with gas, and the flame sears the meat.

[@brentbrod6974]

"Fixing" is essentially "preparing". Fixing dinner - preparing dinner. Fixing to go shopping - preparing to go shopping.

[@lesliesheppard6112]

Fixing or fixinta lol

[@user-gk9lg5sp4y]

'Fittin' to also works 😁

[@effulgENTPossibilities]

I'm used to fixin, not fixing. You don't pronounce the g.

[@Neoyorchese]

Finna

[@TravisAviation]

Fixing is also preparing... Preparing to "fix" something that is going to take 3 times longer than initially expected. In a sentence: "I am fixing the car."

[@AwesomeRando]

I never thought Feli would get sponsored by Incogni. But it’s nice that she is more conscious about her personal information. I think everyone should be.

[@glennhurley1479]

I've always solved my own identity theft problems, but it's a long drawn-out battle and takes a huge amount of time, memory and effort. I'm going to check out Incogni, I'm really tired of having to do all that by myself and constantly monitoring my credit score to spot every little blip.

[@TroyBrinson]

Not just a southern thing. Most in the Midwest and former military say sir and ma’am

[@scottbaron121]

I really think it's more of a "generational" thing. Us oldies were just raised like that. It matriculates down through the ages but it's becoming more rare as time passes, I suppose.

[@davidbraun6209]

By the way, in African American Vernacular English, the expression "fi'nta" means "fixing to" (as in "to be about to").

[@salzlakritz818]

Thank you for explaining. I wondered what 'finna' ment and where it came from. Greetings from Germany. 🙋🏼‍♀️

[@SalyLuz-hc6he]

WOW!! I like Ben a lot after this video!! I feel like I know him a lot better now! Feli, good for you for choosing a farm boy! Farm boys know how to get things done, how to have fun and solve problems. I grew up on a farm and married a completely different kind of person, who had an opposite worldview. The exoticism wore off over time, & he grew more extreme in his opinions & activities. We just weren’t a good fit. Ben is really a good guy! I live about 50 miles from you, am of German background & studying German again- so I really enjoy seeing more about your experiences and your viewpoint on living in the US. 👍🏼👩🏼‍🌾🌻

[@johnvickers5424]

Highschool football is big in a lot of small towns in Texas because there is nothing else to do there. On friday night the whole town shuts down to go to the game.

[@tormentorox1]

I’m from Massachusetts and “barbecue” can be interchanged with “cookout” as a verb up here but only if there’s charcoal or wood smoke being used otherwise it’s just a cookout. As a New Englander we also have a very specific type of cookout called a “clam bake” or “Boil”. Clam bakes are all seafood and usually include lobster, crab, clams, and corn. We cook the food in a hole in the ground on a beach with a layer of charcoal as the base, then a layer of stones, and finally wet seaweed. The seaweed acts as a bed for the food and helps with the steaming. We also add lemons with the lobster. Finally we cover it with more seaweed and let it go low and slow for hours.

[@douglasfur3808]

A former member of my church, who had come to the US for her graduate degree, went back to Germany. She had found US dating too foreign to her. Her take was that Germans made friends first, than romance came later, that one could have a friendship with the opposite gender without romance being the ultimate goal.

[@kimberlywilson7929]

I'm American, but agree.

[@JKNat9004]

​@@kimberlywilson7929 I second that

[@alansmithee8831]

Hello Feli and Ben. Patrick Stewart called my county of Yorkshire the Texas of UK, proud of the similarities with his home county. A friend's parents here started teaching line dancing and a relative used to import US cars, back about the time Dukes of Hazard was on TV. I always wondered how many would have swapped having Robin Hood as our local hero for Daisy Duke? I stayed a month in Texas, but the family had ancestors there before the English speakers. The dad was embarrassed that from songs and learning French that I understood more Spanish than his kids. Other than that he was all Texan, which is why my friend's sister from Yorkshire married him. Come on Ben! Take the poor lass dancing and to the Kentucky Derby to show her off in style.

[@oldtop4682]

I was taught these same manners and "Chivalry" from my folks. Not so much the Ma'am and Sir for my parents, but definitely opening the doors etc. Folks dressed as cowboys (yes I have boots an a couple hats lol) is common in all western states, but Texas is a whole other ball game! Totally agree on poppy country! I can't stand the stuff! I have a band for you - try Midland. Matter of fact, start poking around the music scene in Texas in general - all genres. For Feli - country music was fairly well known in Germany for many years - including Waylon Jennings. This probably had more to do with the number of US military there and particularly AFN playing country shows and covering a larger area of the country then. Some country singers did tours through Germany, but they weren't as big, nor promoted as rock bands. Saw Charlie Daniels the first time there in 1980. There were even German country dance clubs in some places (Nurnberg had one called The Nashville for instance - big club too). Times change, music changes.

[@connkahn]

I live in California, on the central coast. It is quite common to see people in plaid, cowboy boots, and cowboy hats.

[@bradwatson7324]

I‘m from Texas and one really doesn’t see cowboy boots or cowboy hats unless you go to a rural area, or unless you’re going to a country-themed bar.

[@car2nerr]

yup. I see more ballcaps and sneakers in everyday life.

[@tomhalla426]

Texas is big enough that Houston is rather different from Dallas/Ft Worth, both of which are different from Austin, which is different from it’s suburbs.

[@coldwar45]

Which is totally different than Lubbock which is totally different than El Paso etc etc

[@nicholasharvey1232]

Which is different from Beaumont which is different from Lufkin etc.

[@John-ct9zs]

Houston and Dallas are more alike than either of them want to admit. Now Austin, Lubbock and El Paso are absolutely different.

[@nicholasharvey1232]

@@John-ct9zs What about Beaumont which practically thinks it's in Louisiana. Swamps, alligators, and Cajun people. And east-central Texas (Lufkin and environs) is about the most densely forested area I've been to, and known for its timber industry-- very Southeastern in character (It can be a bit hilly in places!). The panhandle, though I've never been there, is very Midwestern in character, lots of grain silos and grain elevators (not to mention a more Midwest-like climate)... basically a southern extension of Kansas. El Paso, Laredo, and Brownsville can nearly be described as Mexican cities on the wrong side of the Rio Grande. And when I was in the middle of Dallas it felt like I could have just as well have been in Boston.

[@eduardocruz4341]

​@@nicholasharvey1232 You are correct😅😅😅😅

[@cubanmop]

1. Ben, your country music taste is spot on. 2. In the South, barbecue is a noun referring to meat cooked low and slow. I grew up in the South, and when I hear that work I expect to eat pulled pork, ribs, brisket, etc. In the north, barbecue is a verb. When northerners hear that word, they expect to grill meat on a charcoal or gas grill. They will expect to eat hamburgers and hotdogs and the like.

[@rickieoakes5267]

Maybe that's why the company calls it a BBQ grill 😮 when they advertise one!

[@johns1039]

I grew up in the Northeast, and "barbecue" absolutely has both meanings and is used both ways where I am from.

[@glennhurley1479]

@@johns1039Shame on you!

[@jennaflint977]

We donuse both though.. because we have fast food places up here that serve actual BBQ meats/ meals so most of us know what we all mean if it is used as a noun or a verb… a lot of people up here actually do smoke there own meats (mostly rural areas) but that is entirely different than BBQ meats..

[@turbochargedsports6327]

Feli & Ben: y'all are just SOOO cute together. ❤️ Gotta say I'm looking forward to the day wedding bells ring for the two of you. I smile every time the two of you make a video together. 🥰

[@George-ux6zz]

I lived in Tampa Florida for 34 years. High-school football actually has their own TV channels. The news even fly by helicopter to cover High-school football. Also, college football and sports in general are huge. That's something that many Europeans wish they had college sports in their countries.

[@allisonhamilton1245]

And we still do!! 😅😅

[@dux_bellorum]

As a fellow Tampa kid, I remember that if you didn't at least try out for the football team, life was going to be rough, and you better be good at baseball or soccer... maybe that was just my school, though, but yea, FL, TX, and maybe Cali are huge on football, at least when I was in high school.

[@aquilapetram]

@@dux_bellorum Southern California is a big high school football area;; the Los Angeles basin is a prime recruiting area for the collegiate football factories of the southeast and the midwest. Northern California isn't nearly as football-intensive, but we do get high school football games on Friday nights on some of the smaller TV channels in the Bay Area.

[@dux_bellorum]

@aquilapetram that's what my understanding was, southern Cali was super big on it.

[@kenkur27]

I get the impression that in Europe, competitive sports for young people are based in sport clubs rather than educational institutions. University sports there tend to be more recreational, not the source of future pros or Olympians. Here in Canada it's kind of like that too although many of our top young sports people go to U.S. colleges on athletic scholarships.

[@tbergstrom4599]

Feli .... your English is really amazing, especially how expressive and instantaneous your expressiveness is.

[@mattm.2591]

I just want to say that I thoroughly enjoyed that video, including seeing you two interact with each other.

[@the_bourbon_mill]

Feli! No filter!!! Kudos. She's a keeper, Ben... KEEP HER...

[@mikemoholland8675]

Oklahoma is also fixed on high school football. In 1983 when the US invaded Granada, news of th3 invasion was buried inside. The previous evenings high school football game was front page.

[@revgurley]

I'm a wedding minister, and I always warn my autumn couples because they're getting married during football season. That means every anniversary will be spent watching football. I married a basketball-loved college man in March. During March Madness (the one-and-done big finale to college basketball). I spent my 10th anniversary at a Final Four game. Know what you're getting into! 😅

[@dickiefarley4544]

You 2 do awesome videos together. I always look forward to a new one :)

[@clarky417]

the women here in the ozarks are real and down to earth. my late wife was an amazing woman.

[@jayclarke6671]

Yea good point. American women are mostly good digging trash nowadays 🤷

[@kimberlywilson7929]

Sorry for your loss.

[@Bill-e6r]

I’ve been married to the same Lady for 49 years and she does our books so she picks up the checks in restaurants. I still open her door and pull out her chair if she gives me time. I’ll help her with her coat and all that kind of stuff but we are both Texans

[@tabush142]

Always great to have Ben on the channel! He provides great commentary that compliments your own well 😊

[@almarollins3642]

I live in TN. Once at a restaurant in Louisville KY with some design students from around the world, I tried to get our waiter's attention. I didn't know his name so I said "Excuse me, hun." One of the ladies in our group was shocked. She was from Quebec, an area that has a strong French influence. She said that it sounded very forward, like I would hand over my hotel key. The young waiter was about my son's age and I would have called my son "hun". Besides it sounded better than just saying "hey, you"

[@johnlabus7359]

North Carolina barbeque is NOT mustard based. That's South Carolina. In NC there are two styles: Eastern is vinegar based, and Lexington (Western) is tomato based.

[@ysbel]

South Carolina has the same distinction. Near the coast, the barbecue is vinegar based but to the west starting at Sumter-Columbia, it’s mustard based. The famous barbecue chef from Hemingway, my mom’s hometown, cooks vinegar based barbecue.

[@marklaurenzi1609]

I do the chivalry thing and I'm from NE Ohio. My brother-in-law in Germany makes fun of me for opening doors for my German wife, yet I suspect his wife wishes he would.

[@jackhogston6119]

"Barbecue' used to be used synonymously with 'grilling' or 'cookout' in the northern states and probably still is used that way in many places. In southern states it refers to cooking and smoking meats 'low and slow,' ie. on low heat for a long period of time. I think this latter definition has gradually been creeping north over the years.

[@danabondy2812]

No matter where, men SHOULD NOT wear a hat at the table.

[@oldtop4682]

Most cowboys will remove the hat and set it on its crown close at hand. Edit: Except at a honky-tonk/bar. Any place that serves food, or if you go into a house, that hat should come off.

[@samstromberg5593]

What's the thought process behind that one? I feel lie a lot of "old fashioned" manners still make some sense and even if they don't I can see where they're coming from and I generally do follow these but I've never even heard that one Is it just your personal opinion or a culteral thing?

[@oldtop4682]

@@samstromberg5593 I was raised in the West - this was what was taught to us from a young age. The idea is to keep the brim from flattening out - though the evidence for that happening with a well constructed hat is kind of minimal. A decent hat will cost you upwards of $400 and they go much higher.

[@ol.grumpy.bastard]

When I walk into a house, restaurant, office, church, or small shop, the hat comes off as soon as I'm through the door; however, it stays on when I go to places like the supermarket, a big box store, or a store in a mall.

[@oldtop4682]

@@ol.grumpy.bastard Egg-zack-lee!

[@Sirk1966]

BBQ is know and big in KC, St.Louis, Chicago, TX, and throughout the south. Grilling, and BBQing is different. Grilling is hamburgers, hotdogs, and chicken. BBQing, is slow and low temp and takes a long time, like Brisket, Steaks, some Roasts, and some Chicken. Chicken can be done both ways.

[@christophb2736]

There's definitely one rule in both cultures: If a man opens the car door for a woman, either the woman or the car is new.

[@kimberlywilson7929]

😂😂😂

[@Celtic-Texan]

Being Gen-X I can appreciate your boyfriends preference for older or classic country, vs the contemporary popish stuff cranked out nowadays. Also, as some have mentioned in the comments, BBQ in Texas tends to be meat slow cooked in smokers, typically prepped with some kind of dry rub, like brisket, smoked 12+ hours, or ribs typically 5 hours, or other slow cooked meats. But things like steaks or burgers are typically referred to grilling, which can be in smokers or traditional grills, but at higher temps and not a slow process. I personally cook brisket, ribs, chicken, sausage, and turkey, on my smoker, and start Prime Rib on the smoker, then slice it into individual steaks to sear on a cast iron skillet on the stove before serving. If I invite folks over for "BBQ" that means I will have done quite a bit of prep before the arrive, and will be pulling things off the smoker just prior to their arrival, but if I say come on by and we'll slap something on the grill, then they can expect a steak or some burgers that I'll be grilling while they're here.

[@roberthohlt469]

Hallo Yall, I am Texan since birth. I have guns and a pickup truck. Have never line danced. Ben right about Americas Team, no championships since 1995. By the way a great Dallas Cowboy quarterback Roger Staubach is originally from Cincinnati if I recall correctly. Even as a Texan I give thanks for Kentucky the "Bourbon capital" of the planet. Alaska can hold at least 2 Texas's, It's really big. Deana and Phil (another German/American) couple in Germany called Bavaria the "Texas of Germany". Quite the compliment in my opinion.

[@michaelmedlinger6399]

A compliment it is not! But true in many ways.

[@roberthohlt469]

@@michaelmedlinger6399 Go ahead and explain please.

[@MrMacLover10]

“Super size me” was a documentary on the “super size” meals from McDonald’s in the ‘90s, and he’s absolutely right: essentially it’s the idea of “if we can make it bigger, why not?”

[@hannahbellebraden1883]

My two favorite people!!!♥️

[@samstromberg5593]

Like Feli is great and I'll watch her videos but my favorite ones are when she has Ben join her, he's so wholesome and fun

[@brianharp4252]

Bar-B-Q in the U.S. is regional. Texas bbq is mostly beef smoked with oak, pecan wood, and/or mesquite with a heavy tomato based spicy sauce. Tennessee and the Carolinas are all about pork, either whole hog or just a pork butt smoked with hickory, and may or may not have a cider vinegar based sauce. Kentucky is different from the rest of the South, with mutton bbq being popular.

[@foxdogjake]

I am from and live in Cincinnati! This is a great video and I love your other videos. Ben, I am curious as to just how far south in Kentucky you are from. You sound just like my friends from Cincinnati. Also, Who Dey!

[@DarrylCarroll]

Danielle Boone, David Crockett, James Bowie and Sam Houston all came to Texas from Kentucky. Many of early settlers of Texas can from Appalachia. So there are alot of cultural similarity

[@joeellis4681]

Too funny - my mom was from Nuremberg and my dad was from Houston, TX. ❤

[@neonsparxx]

So one was from Texas and one was from "The Texas of Germany". 😄

[@thatguy8869]

Long time ago I lived in the Pacific NW. As kids, we almost didn't know the meaning of "ma'am" or "sir". Then a few years later, we were in the deep south. When I said "yeah" to a teacher, her head nearly exploded.

[@teriannebeauchamp254]

I was born in raised in the Pacific Northwest. I beg to differ. We were taught to address our elders as Sir or Ma'am. My teachers were referred to a Miss, Mrs. Or Mister and we always said yes sir or yes, ma'am .

[@thatguy8869]

@teriannebeauchamp254 Well, we have different memories of the PNW. My memories were from many years ago, so there's that. Also, like other regions, the PNW is not monolithic. We did address teachers as Miss, Mrs., or Mr.; and it was "uncle Bob, uncle Carl, aunt Jean". Not Bob, Carl, or Jean.

[@250Rem]

Ben, Carolina barbecue is actually vinegar and tomato base in North Carolina. What you’re thinking is South Carolina barbecue with base even though you’re from Kentucky be careful they got about you but it may come back to get you.😊

[@ericweeks8386]

And as a KC BBQ purist, none of those things are real BBQ ;)

[@chefnick5231]

rem, that bbq sauce! barbecue sauce isn't barbecue it's a cooking technique, in how you cook something not what you cook .

[@scottbaron121]

Yeah...the SC sauce is vinegar based. Let's just say it's an "acquired taste". Especially if you're used to tomato-based sauces. Lived most of my life in Georgia. Never quite got the taste for the SC sauce...but those folks are rabid about it. Whatever. It's SC. They suck anyway. LMAO!

[@johnthomas2485]

​@@ericweeks8386Gates or Bryants?

[@andrewcherry5696]

@@scottbaron121 oh dear, no. Mustard is SC’s differentiator. Up here north of the border, it’s vinegar out east, and tomato in the west.

[@12hairyjohn]

Football on Thursday, Sunday, and Monday only applies to the NFL. Some weeks during football season, games are broadcast every day.

[@McCumberIndustries]

"Fixin" is one of those phrases that depends on how it's used and the context of the statement that dictates it's meaning. "Fixin" by itself can mean making something like dinner or fixing something that is broke. "Fixin to" means that you are/were about to do something.

[@usaverageguy]

I am from an older generation. And so, I hold a door for anyone behind me (male or female). A few women get indignant when I do this. I explain to them, "My mother would beat me to death if I did not hold the door for you" That always gets a laugh. And ends the hostility.

[@robertdtimmerman]

Kentucky has one of the biggest high school football rivalries in the nation. The Trinity Shamrocks x St. Xavier Tigers football game can draw upwards of 40,000 fans to the game.

[@orangeguy3314]

Ohio st games can draw up or close hundred thousand fans at a game. Most college games I been have around 60 to 80 thousands fans to game.

[@quarrydesigns]

Kentucky also has 3 of the top 5 winningest high school football programs in the country, Louisville Male, Mayfield and Ft Thomas Highlands.

[@robertdtimmerman]

@@quarrydesigns….Don’t forget the Trinity Shamrocks. 28 state championships in football.

[@adamrspears1981]

Servus von Corpus Christi, Texas! You guys should visit The River Walk & The Alamo in San Antonio. So when are y'all fixin to come visit?🤠

[@matthewhall5571]

"You guys"? Where's the "y'all"? 😉

[@alanzimmerman1674]

Bluegrass music is awesome! Glad you're a fan!

[@DaverLion555]

Hallo Feli, I so admire how you've come to a very strong command of English, both in vocabulary and pronunciation, in such a short time, but I do have a suggestion. While your usage is quite fluent, every once in a while, you slip into employing a vulgar and/or profane word or expression that I find cringy & out-of-place from an intelligent person like yourself in an entertaining, energetic, informative podcast such as yours. I imagine Ben will be able to point those out. If you'd like an example, in this vid you used "f*cking around." I'm not a prude, but it's not higher, standard American English in a quality podcast of this type and theme to a general audience, in my opinion. Other than this language tweak, I praise you for the excellent work and obvious fine effort you do! I've seen many of your vids and I've learned a lot, so thank you! 😊

[@manubishe]

Might be from the recent associations In the past I've watched a bunch of her videos, and didn't hear obscenities. Timestamp?

[@neonsparxx]

This is her authentic personality and I like very much that she isn't afraid to speak the way she does! 😊 Hope she doesn't stop because of comments like yours.

[@kevin_wb0poh]

Water Tower is a Country thing - very common in Iowa, Nebraska, South Dakota, etc. Very much.

[@michael-1680]

Specifically, it's peculiar to flat areas of the country, where it's used to provide water pressure to the surrounding area. In mountainous regions, you don't see them, because they're not necessary..

[@desperadox7565]

Americans think Germany = Bavaria, Germans think America = Texas. 😎

[@neonsparxx]

Nah, Germans think Bavaria is the Texas of Germany!

[@EsterHorbach-it9tb]

No, we Germans think the US is New York, California and Texas.

[@doninis1354]

Well, I think I have to move to Kentucky... I am German (very north) and I am a door holder for sure. Kindnes and respectful treatment should not grow out for sure. When I was an AuPair in NY I was really surpriced how football takes part, and I got fixed to it. Fan ever since. I love that there are games in Germany, now.

[@potatosniper5340]

For the "fixing" part, it is mostly contextual. Fixing a sandwhich/drink/etc would be like making. Like making whole, similar to fixing something broken. You're making it whole. Fixing to, like I'm fixing to mow the grass, is basically a synonym for going to (do something).

[@texburleson]

Y’all check out the band, Texas Tornadoes. They are the definition of original Texas music back when the Mexicans and Germans got together and jammed out.

[@runawaytechgal1467]

As a female, I held 2 season tickets to the Bengals for 7 seasons until I moved away. Football is life! And I used to always "fix" myself dinner. I haven't said that in a while. Lol. That means prepare. These things are a Southern Ohio thing too. Fun video!! Thanks!

[@kimberlywilson7929]

I say this, too!

[@coyotelong4349]

One interesting thing with “fixing to” used as a substitute for “going to” is it also has a shortened version “Going to” = “gonna” “Fixing to” = “finna”

[@easttexasoldcoot8813]

Feli, you ask about different types of barbecue in Texas. The low and slow smoking style comes from German immigrants and originated in the Hill Country and German and Czech farm regions of S.E. Texas. No sauce used in the cooking. The meat is seasoned with a dry rub. Any sauce is served on the side. This style is typically just known as Texas barbecue. You're welcome, Ma'am. Edit: Also, the meat is usually beef brisket. The fire source is hardwood, often oak but I think pecan is best. I'm also curious, since the smoking method was introduced to Texas by German settlers, do they not smoke meat like this in Germany these days?

[@kilsestoffel3690]

I've done line dancing here in Germany, we had lots of fun. I would love to hear ben' s country music playlist.

[@Shad0wProphet]

I would say it’s a location and sport. So I agree that Texas is all about football, but in Minnesota it is like that for Hockey. So it would depend on where you came from.

[@murob2347]

You two are so perfect together!

[@chrisromig7390]

I had never really thought about it, but barbecue is a tricky word. It is an event: "Coming to my barbecue this weekend?" "What are ya fixin'?" "I'm grilling burgers and hotdogs" It is a meat: Pork, chicken, or beef brisket (the fattier the better) that has been dry rub spiced and slow cooked with wood smoke, and usually served with a barbecue sauce. A grill is also sometimes referred to as a barbecue, but that sounds a little Australian to me. Love your videos Feli. If you've ever addressed window screens and air conditioning, I missed it. Would also be interested what you think about the German plan to replace gas and oil heating with heat pumps. I see the biggest problem as where do all the outdoor heat exchanger units go on German dwellings?

[@theoriginalpointby]

And we have friends that invite us over for a BBQ and they order pizza and we sit outside and eat it. But that's just them being weird.

[@Texas-Chris]

Feli and Ben, I’m a 7th Generation Texan and I have German ancestry on my Paternal Side. If y’all want a True Taste of Texas, I would be happy to suggest a few places. Boots, Wranglers, and a Cowboy Hat is a definite thing, but I will warn you that felt Stetson’s can get really expensive it depends on the number on of X’s. The more X’s the higher the quality and it can go all the way up to a 100 X and depending on the material $10,000 is not unheard of. Boots can get bad too. However straw hats and ropers are reasonable. And Ben has very good taste in music. Brewster County in West Texas is as big as all of New England put together. And to answer most of your questions about Barbecue, Ben describes a brisket method perfectly. Around here we take a beef brisket, trim the fat, season it with dry seasoning, then smoke (cook really low 200 degrees) for six to eight hours. You’ll after an internal temperature of about 130 to 145. Ribs can be dry or wet, I’m no barbecue expert, I just know how to eat and enjoy it. Happy to answer any questions.

[@robetheridge6999]

I'm from deep South Mississippi and I said, "I'll never date a Yankee". Well, when I was in seminary, I met a wonderful girl from upstate New York. We dated for a while and then she married someone else (no hard feelings). One of the first things that stands out from my first trip to meet her dad and brothers was when she told me not to speak to the cashier at the market. In the South, you definitely can have a convo with the cashier. It's just part of being nice in the South. I live in Moldova now and I only say "hello" when I approach the cashier. I wish it were different because it would have been a nice way to practice when I first was learning Romanian and Russian. Great video, btw.

[@amandahealey2216]

Maybe it's a New York thing? I grew up in Connecticut, and it isn't uncommon to have a conversation with the cashier and sometimes bagger, especially if you already know them.

[@ahwhite2022]

I used to work in Moldova, and the thought of bumping into another American there, let alone someone from Southern Mississippi, greatly amuses me. I kind of miss that place, but not when the busses would announce a change to their routes, and it would only be in Moldovan/Romanian. Those days could make for a lot of walking.

[@robetheridge6999]

@@ahwhite2022 lots of hitchhiking going on now because the marshroute drivers are on strike.

[@nightmaster5593]

I'm from LA, and I was raised to hold doors and offer to carry stuff. I've never met anyoneone here who resisted, and it's usually met with gratitude.

[@greengummibear]

Texan here - Those caricatures are more so the more rural you go, so say San Antonio, maybe, Ft. Worth, likely, Lubbock, etc., sure. But Dallas, Austin, not so much - more urban and transplants. So most of us don't wear the hats (though often we knew someone with one); things are more diluted these days than the video. The BBQ question - yes, we can sometimes conflate the two, though often we will say grilling rather than BBQ. Steak, hamburgers, etc. are grilled over a fire. When you talk Texas BBQ, especially that we love our BBQ, that passion is for smoke, basically indirect cooking. Let's put it this way, if you were to say we're going to go out for BBQ, you're expecting a smoke house that puts brisket, sausage, maybe ribs and turkey, on butcher paper and charge by the pound. NOT steak. That's a steakhouse. And while steak is an important and major food group, not having a bit on Tex-Mex…well, that ain't right. While there's a good chance they went to a Mexican place on the Riverwalk, they still should have had a scene where he orders a bowl of queso then asks her if she wants one too (we can eat a whole bowl as a meal). And tacos…let's not even go there. I literally had a breakfast taco for lunch a little while ago I would say one of the bigger things it missed was trucks. EVERYONE drives one. And that might be an over all US thing, though I think US is more SUV, Texans have trucks. Now the…newer…Texans will often have a big, clean truck that they can't park at HEB, so it's annoying, but either way it's a status symbol for all, natives or transplants. And yes, football is life down here, high school is nothing but football, stadiums that rival pro teams (i.e. Allen, Prosper). That's your Friday night, which again more so the more rural you go, but the big cities and suburban high schools are also big players (just means the afterparty could be in a field when more rural). Then Saturday is all about college. Throw a rock and you'll hit a ut "fan", Costco is full of nothing but ut and a&m branded shirts, mugs, tents, etc. College stadiums BIGGER than pro. Then Sunday, that's pro football, usually Cowboys, but not only with all the transplants you have fans of Eagles, New York, etc., but as previously noted how important college ball is, you'll have Kansas City fans because Mahomes went to Tech (the most NFL players come from Texas colleges). Biggest radio station? The Ticket in Dallas. Yes, it's more than a sports station, but year round you will have at least one segment about the Cowboys, and during football season…nothing but. Since this seemed to be in San Antonio, I get why they wouldn’t have it, but if it was in Dallas there would for sure be a scene where he gets in his truck and it's already set to the Musers in the morning. Maybe they should have had a bit where they stopped to get gas, he gets out of the truck, then opens her door, expecting she would want to go in as well. "Why did you think I'd want to go into the gas station?" "Because it's Buc-ee's". Not exactly romantic, but you can spend hours in one, eat, have desert, find an outfit…I almost always stop at the one outside of New Braunfels on my way back from San Antonio.

[@shellsbellswac1]

I grew up and still live in the Mid-Atlantic east coast. We have some elements of the southern hospitality but as a border state between the south and the north, it's a mixed bag. I also work in a military environment so Sir and Ma'am is much more prevalent there out of respect but ordinarily when out in my hometown, you don't always hear Sir or Ma'am. I am in my late-30s and cannot stand it when people call me Sweetie or Honey because I generally find in my hometown there is a negative connotation just like Feli spoke about in this video. It's all about reading the context and body language, which can be subtle. Great video Feli & Ben! Thank you so much for this and sending lots of love to you!

[@kimberlywilson7929]

Sounds like we're from the same area!

[@davekaplowitz1020]

Thanks!

[@jaytoser5212]

One conversation I overheard on an airplane, one fellow was talking about how grand Texas was [I completely agree]. He was interrupted by another from Alaska. He said "Pardon me, but if someone cut Alaska in half, Texas would be the third largest state in the Union". I had to check the Wikipedia for that.

[@352kemosabebrian7]

I just want to point out also coming from the south myself guys can give a girl a compliment and not just be flirting it's being nice it kind of goes with the ma'am sir it's respect, and as far as the barbecue it is a Spanish term for like Barbie Cola meaning cooking over hot coals I think these days most people water that down. Me being not only Native American but a Florida native respect is everything and shout out to been my mom was born in Kentucky but moved here and her early teen years so I understand what he's talking about country music but I do love jelly roll his music is something else but I also like old country as well especially 80s 90s country. Love the content yall keep up the great work, stay safe and stay blessed my friends

[@JulieFox-h3w]

I'm from the west (Idaho) and anyone who has grown up on a ranch or a farm pretty much has a pair of cowboy boots. I've got two. If you used to ride horses as a kid and participate in moving cows around, it's a given. I am now a performance artist and fine artist and know few men that watch football regularly. Maybe that is just because I mostly know artistic people. Good video though!

[@gildavis8266]

Ben was very correct talking about Barbeque. Low and slow is the way to go. Basically, each region in the US has its own formula for how you prepare it. And this has to do with the sauce. For example, in Texas most of Barbeque is beef while here in Georgia is revolves more around pork or chicken. Most of the sauces are tomato based where in the Carolinas the sauces are vinegar based. Everyone has their favorite and it just depends on what hits your taste buds. The only thing more derisive is chili. At issue, beans or no beans.

[@roykay4709]

BBQ is vaguely like pot roast only with pork. The pork is "pulled" apart, not cut apart. Then you have the varying sauces. It SOUTH Carolina that tends towards honey-mustard, NORTH Carolina tends towards vinegar. Many others are tomato based. Ours is ketchup, brown sugar, mustard seed, clove and lemon juice. Others ad mesquite and smoke.

[@janenejones2036]

When we first moved to South Carolina, (3yrs ago) we were asked by many people what college football team was ‘our team’. We hardly ever watched any kind of football, we’re NASCAR fans. But we were warned…college football is HUGE and we needed to follow a team!

[@peterm.eggers520]

Ben is right on football states. Being German, it seems like every American male is into American football, which in general is true, but there are states where American football is beyond a popular sport, its on the level of a religion!

[@DixieLane304]

Yes, in the Souh 😂

[@vespista1971]

I grew up in a house where none of the guys were into football… My grandpas were both nuts about the Cincinnati Reds (baseball), but didn’t follow football (or any other sport) at all, and my dad was more into going to Broadway shows and the Symphony.

[@peterm.eggers520]

@vespista1971 Never been a fan of any team, but I do like watching outstanding athletic performances. Occasionally, if invited to a ballgame party of any sort, I will attend just for the social time.

[@shadovanish7435]

If you want to experience some excellent & uniquely "Southern" food in the U.S., go to New Orleans (or surrounding area) & try some "Cajun" dishes, such as jambalaya, etouffe, gumbo, red beans & rice, & various seasoned shrimp dishes. Cajun food is known for spicy & strong flavor, due to the seasonings & cayenne pepper used during cooking (as I understand), & is some of the best food I have eaten (if the food was authentic "Cajun quality"). Be aware that some of the Cajun dishes can be rather "spicy hot", but you can probably ask for reduced spice flavor, if you prefer. Restaurants around the New Orleans area that serve good Cajun food are common & usually not fancy; often, the better such restaurants are basic & small, with modest furnishings & simple decor. Probably the best (& time honored) way to find a good (& reasonably priced) Cajun restaurant is to ask the local people (as with anywhere). Lastly, be careful in New Orleans; the crime there is reportedly bad. Probably safer to travel in a group.

[@davidbraun6209]

In my corner of North Florida, proper address for people with whom one is not on a first-nsme basis is "sir" or "ma'am." A woman might call a man or a woman "sweetie" or "honey," and get away with it (and it does not have any special significance); a man will be thought too "forward" using that towards any woman unless the man is in a romantic relationship with said woman.

[@dharmachile999]

I guess your part of Florida and my part of NYC (Upper West Side) have something in common.

[@Jessica_P_Fields]

I'm in Northeast Florida, and I would agree with this. Although it does seem to be changing (especially the "sweety" addressing) with the younger generations and people who moved here from the North and West.

[@KyleMcClellan-yh6xr]

I almost fell for a similar identity theft attack. Thankfully, ironically, I had had my bank info stolen before so I was able to catch this one ahead of time. The things that tipped me off: they sent me a text asking if a charge was legit, so I logged into my bank app to verify the charge and I didn't even see the alleged charge. When it had been stolen before, I could actually see the fraudulent charges and that's how I caught them before. Clue #2 was that the alleged charge was for more than what was in my bank account. Obviously they can't spend what I don't have. That's when I called my bank and they confirmed that it was a phishing attack. Thankfully I didn't give the scammers any info before calling my bank.

[@SuperioRobot]

If one is invited to "a barbecue" or "the barbecue" that is implied to be the grilling (that tends to be) outside, and is a party (intensity can vary wildly). If one is offered "barbecue" with no article preceeding it, that normally refers to the food itself. That food could be the product of "a barbecue" or from a restaurant, grocery store, or made in one's personal kitchen.

[@lattetown]

I really enjoyed watching both your reactions! 🙂 As far as the word "BBQ" it can mean several things...it can refer to the outdoor grill where you cook with fire (as in "I warmed up the BBQ"), or it can refer to the food cooked on the grill (as in "we're havin' BBQ for dinner"), or it can refer to a specific way you season and prepare the food. Usually, when I hear a place name in front of "BBQ", then I think it is referring to last meaning. "Texas BBQ" means it's prepared with a dry rub that marinates overnight..it also usually refers to a large cut of meat like a brisket or a whole rack of ribs slowly cooked in a smoker with the lid closed, instead of just a steak on an open grill. "Kansas City style BBQ" to me refers to a slow roasted rack of ribs with a sauce marinate instead of a dry rub.

[@jakedunnegan]

Well, I thought it was absolutely charming how you unconsciously put your arm around your dude. To put it into perspective for the channel - is that a universal thing or more American or more German? Regardless - your affection shows through and it's very sweet. :)

[@jeanjohnson8492]

Carolina BBQ is always pork and in NC (I am a Tarheel.) and uses a vinegar-pepper sauce in the Eastern and Central part of the state. The Western part of NC favors a tomato type of sauce. South Carolina is known for its mustard sauce. By the way, we have cookouts and we eat BBQ.

[@Casprizzle]

Fixing to = Going to Fix us some food = prepare us some food Also, in more urban areas you might hear "finna" which is to "fixing to" as "gonna" is to "going to"