"You owe us!" When our narcissistic families believe we are in their debt

narcissism #scapegoat #toxicrelationships #abuserecovery #narcissisticparents #survivor #codependency #estrangement #family
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Much love, Chess xxx
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This is a personal account of my experiences. I am not diagnosing anybody in my family as narcissistic. If you are in danger of physical abuse & harm, from others or yourself, please contact your local emergency services immediately.
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DISCLAIMER: The information contained within the KZbin channel 'The Scapegoat Club' is not a substitute for professional advice such as a doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist, or other therapist. The information provided by the KZbin channel 'The Scapegoat Club' does not constitute legal or professional advice nor is it intended to be. Only a trained medical professional can diagnose psychological or medical conditions.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

Yes, i owe them all. I will say this here because none of my extended family will every view this, but 10 years ago, my brother bought my parents' house for 350k (it was worth 700k) and my parents gave me 100k towards my house. I was very grateful and said so repeatedly. It's only since we fell out four years ago that my brother is insinuating how much i owe them. The one thing ive held back on saying is that although i benefited from this deal, so did my parents they got 250k, and my brother bought a house for half its value. A lot of middle class accounting here i know, but i am the only one who is expected to never express any emotion besides gratitude. I am grateful, but the way i show my gratitude is through... GRATITUDE, not suppression of my reactions. The way i need to show gratitude is by having no independent sense of my self. Saying thank you, feeling genuinely grateful and expressing that verbally is not how they want me to show my gratitude. I feel sorry for my brother, he will be the one left loking after two old people and i will leave them all to it.

[@LSMH528Hz]

At least that's a amount of money lol. I think I was addressed by my narc sister on my dads funeral procession that my mother once bought her parental responsibility off by giving me 6000 bucks I never asked for. Not that she didn't spend 10k on her garden of the house she bought after divorcing claiming half the family fortune and inheriting a substantial amount from her family, or that 10k she "loaned" some alcohol addicted barkeeper who apparently seduced her in some singles sleaze bar he was working she visited after her divorce, that 10k never returned of course but that's ok because she gave me some broken akai amplifier he owned or something... Not bad for a woman who was shortly after the divorce a single welfare mother who didn't have enough money to even feed and dress her children properly. But that changed soon enough when money rolled in. Then she became real stingy, thinking she was real generous buying me a 100 bucks remote controlled toy car. But things to get me started in life ? even immaterial things ? Never. Only after she kicked me out of the house she bought the cheapest carpet she could find and a 2nd hand washingmachine for my otherwise bare to the concrete rental apartment in the biggest slums of the city.. But I had this toy car she gave me right ? Ok, the amount doesn't matter, it's just the insane way they see fit to arrange things and then demand you're in their debt, even if it's because something someone else did. But yea, shows nicely what's on their mind even during a funeral procession of someone, "you got this from someone else" so now you have a debt to me. I guess she took that as a valid reason to make stuff disappear from dad's stingy inheritance i guess. Not being satisfied with her share she applied the special narc rules on what's fair. Meanwhile during the funeral procession I was thinking whole other stuff but apparently this is what my sister was thinking about.. How to get as much as possible for herself and even using a traumatic event like the funeral of dad to manipulate and confuse me by saying stuff only my internet stalker who tried to talk me into suicide could know... Yes, the funeral was beautiful... worst goddamn day of my life ! And oh, don't even get me started on all the future fake promises my dad made in his life. I suppose I should be grateful he didn't leave only debt and a bill for his funeral. But yea, it feels kinda odd he promised he would buy me a new fancy car if I got my drivers licence. Of course he never did because I didn't go work for him as he had planned. When he died he owned this prestigious fashionable car with 280 BHP while I'm driving my now +30 year old japanese minicar with 56 BHP for decades now.. Yes, my sister was saying he spend like 6k on repairs on that fancy crap car recently, it was sold for 5k or something. that's 2 times more then what my car cost when I bought it hahahhahaha. But yea, to me that's representing my families promises, never stick up to those and just keep it for yourself and in the mean time try to shame me for driving a socially unacceptable car they are ashamed of or something and why don't I own a house like they bought from their mid 6 digit inheritance right ? Yes, I'm such a failure LMAO. Btw, boomerish parents like mine who bought a house when they were young make more profit from their real estate value increase then people of my generation earn from working on average in a whole lifetime. But still they complain about it being unfair and we owe them... I'm guessing later generations will be wondering where all the wealth has gone. If there's going to be latter generations at all because many today can't even afford it... Meanwhile pre retired grandma and grandpa to be, own a huge house with empty rooms and go on cruise vacations round the year complaining "I'm bored, where's MY grandchild to entertain me" !!! "you owe me a grandchild" ! Ok, enough ranting. But I guess it's clear who's the narcissists... But yea, I was the narcissist for wondering whenever those future fake promises would substantiate. I'm only after their money you see.. unsatisfied spoiled brat who's angry he didn't get more...Hahahaha, yea right. it's really sad. they are really sad. Sad people with very serious mental disorders.

[@LSMH528Hz]

Hahaha, this made my head spin for like 45 minutes. 😵🤣 Great topic Chess, thanks. 🙏 (edit 24 hrs lateur) Thinking it through, the notion where people get this idea from and money/material possessions are some base factors. It's much like loaning I guess, you best get some sort of legal contract because trust people will just bring it back by themselves is't all its cracked up to be. And then you have narcissists who think they can just make up their own rules on whats fair and guess what, their not the same for you as for themselves. I've learned some expression from americans which seems to originate in Scotland, "possession is nine-tenths of the law". This is the law of the jungle narcissists use. Take, take, take, take, and in return perhaps some crapgiving, if you're "lucky". Anyway, if people notice their perspective and perceptions of what to expect are so far apart from the other persons idea's or even demands you can safely say your relationship is in deep shit. In the end all your effort's, work, money, care, possessions, time, pain, sweat, blood and tears you put into it will be in vain, lost. And guess who won't be sticking up to their end of the deal. Heh, reminds me of this brilliant song LP - Lost on you kzbin.info/www/bejne/np-WqH1nlJaNqck At some point you have to cut your losses before they drag you down with them. And well yes, this may bring a whole spectrum of other mental issue's to deal with like heartbreak, feeling betrayed, abandoned, abused, robbed, loss of trust, cognitive dissonance even etc. But at least you can work on those holes in your own life yourself and all your effort's won't be sucked into the narcissists black hole where everything disappears into some other dimension. Try not to think to much about the perceived loss of the future fakes that weren't going to happen anyway. tThink about all the time, effort, energy you won't be wasting anymore and you can start using to mend your own life instead of soothing the very hungry caterpillar.

[@user-bt6qd8it1d]

Jealousy liar cowards

[@findingmypath493]

I'm 49. My mother physically abused me until I was big enough to fight back, then she switched to emotional abuse and manipulation. A little over a year ago, I finally had enough and cut off 99% of contact with her. My aunt recently called me and said exactly the topic of your video: "Your mother kept a roof over your head and food in your belly. Whatever she may have done is all in the past, so be a man and start talking to her again. Otherwise, you're abandoning her in her old age after everything she did to raise you." My mother and her sister are two peas in a pod.

[@thescapegoatclub]

ugh. even though I know it... it still makes me so angry. Such manipulation. I hope you are finding the answers you need in your distance from her. Wishing you well!

[@pinkopallinu9084]

Lol, yes! When my father was in an infectious diseases hospital he demanded I sneak in there and stay with him cause the nurse wasn't fast enough to wipe his bum! Entrance wasn't allowed since there was a threat of catching the illness. And all this after he scammed me financially, I STILL OWNED HIM

[@user-bt6qd8it1d]

Scapegoating stalking caught cowards and their jealousy rage narc dysfunctional mental illness