You're Not CRAZY - Your Mother is a Narcissist (10 Signs)

[@Kris_Reece]

Check out the resources here. Am I a People Pleaser Quiz? Discover Your Type. krisreece.com/am-i-a-people-pleaser/ Toxic Mother Survival Course - The Christians Guide to Dealing with a Toxic Mother Biblically krisreece.com/toxic-mother-survival-course/ How to Heal from a Toxic Mother- Restoring Your Life Through Faith Online Course krisreece.com/how-to-heal-from-a-toxic-mother/

[@lizcuero9065]

Wow! How did you know?! Thank You for helping.

[@MyName-zd9pe]

Why are most narcissist videos always about moms? 🤔 My daughter, sister, and mom are the narcissists in my family. We live in a narcissistic society, unfortunately. I had to cut off the narcissists in my family for my health and peice of mind. God bless all the people who are struggling to go on with their life without family or friends who are narcissists. Love from Kentucky. 💖🙏🏻✝️🇺🇸

[@Puresoulonearth]

You have to put in your name and email so she can try to market and sell to you. Nobody is in it anymore to actually help people, not even so called Christians.

[@onewotldgovernmentonlywhen9044]

Wanting a Child to go to college is nothing bad. I don’t believe college and university is for everyone but to want a person to go to college is not wrong. It’s not bad either for a parent to be proud of their adult child. I don’t trust everything in psychology especially because the teachings are from evil people like Freud and Darwin who abused many people.

[@onewotldgovernmentonlywhen9044]

I think that many of these videos are not Godly. These videos divide families in negative ways. You cannot serve two masters. Either your Christian all the way or your not.

[@kshaw9179]

1. Sees you as an extension of her. 2. She's critical 3. She has toxic reactions 4. She lacks empathy 5. She doesn't respect your boundaries 6. She wears a mask 7. She believes others are jealous of her 8. She's entitled and self important 9. She distorts reality 10. She has weird facial expressions

[@JulianCaesaro]

Best kind of comment! But discernment really confirms what I was suspecting all along… 👀🤯😤😪

[@mishamccrea5303]

All ten are my mother. Just sad, how can a Christian be a narcissist?? Anything is possible with the Lord. But I've always thought of my mother as a loving Christian women. Sadly I always felt things were a little off. The Lord has made it so clear to me that she's a cover narcissist. 😢😢😢

[@Jesusislove2812]

My mother is also a covert one. It’s hell how she manipulates you. They have the spirit of Jezabel. I red the part of the Biblie which is about Jezabel and she uses the same tactics now through people.. just with different scenarios and in more subtle ways.

[@apsarasangreal84]

#4 #5 Pure

[@annmalone1585]

#6, I’m the most hated daughter because I left her after she recovered from cancer, she’s making people believe I went away when she most needed me but I couldn’t take any longer after 15 years after college and a childhood of abuse

[@TruthInspector]

The worst part is is when you're a Christian and you think that you're honoring your parents when they're just abusing you and you have been so programmed to be a doormat

[@kimberlychristine9284]

Same here 😔

[@TruthInspector]

@@kimberlychristine9284 I'm embarrassed how long I live to adulthood with that belief

[@ARS-6760]

That’s me. 😢

[@MKCarol-ms7lg]

My once-a-week phone calls didn't work out so now, I honor her with a once-a-week prayer when my phone alarms the time I previously called her. I do pray for her at other times of course but it is her special time because she is my mother.

[@MKCarol-ms7lg]

@@TruthInspector You don't know what you don't know. There is no shame.

[@reneerenee6166]

I finally disconnected from my narcissistic mother in 2021 after nearly six decades of emotional abuse and manipulation. I have never felt such freedom. She literally exhibits all ten of these narcissistic traits. Unfortunately, she has already groomed the “golden child” to one day replace her in the family matrix. I’m grateful to Jesus for setting me free indeed. Blessings to you and this community.

[@judithfs]

Hi Renee, I know what you mean. My N mother has been dead for 15 years, but my golden child sister has picked up the baton and is running with it. Thank God for His protection!

[@faithl4105]

❤️🙏🏻

[@DogMomCMF]

Can I ask you (or anyone reading this) a personal question regarding your decision? Did your mom do the things in the beginning that other videos said she'd do, like text you, saying how SHE loves you, and SHE wishes the best, and THIS will be my last text...but it wasn't????

[@paulamartin834]

Agree 👍

[@LittleRoseMouse]

@@DogMomCMF I went NC with my covert narc mom mid 2022 (I sent her a short email explaining her actions were evil), and she had not attempted to communicate with me at all. She goes through the rest of the family to try to get info, but there's none to be had. I've run the gambit physically and emotional through this experience, and mostly now I'm just completely disgusted that anyone would treat their child in this manner.

[@joelallen1990]

My mother was the most toxic negative influence in my life which destroyed my mindset and life in the end. Now that she has died my siblings want to do the same to me and trying to destroy me. I have walked away completely from my family gone NO CONTACT and my life is going great now.

[@susanrabeck1753]

Thank you for these encouraging words. I'm just now breaking contact. It's very hard.

[@trulystarr4507]

@@joelallen1990 Same on the mom! Dont ever feel you are alone in this, even though it does always feel that way to us because it is traumatic on top of no contact which is courageous. I have done the same with my parents and siblings - five years now. It’s been emotionally painstakingly hard yet keep moving forward step by step even if people can’t understand (they don’t need to) because No contact is the only way I have found my hearts freedom, peace and joy and to continue healing. Everyone is responsible for their lives and many choose not to be responsible for theirs or take any accountability for how they treat others. My mom and dad both passed away during this time which has been so much grief for me because of how it never was a happy ending and although I love them so much and my siblings, we MUST choose love and peace for ourselves & lives FIRST. It is so sacred & wonderful now.

[@victoriaturrey635]

I'm 45 I have 5 siblings and I'm the one taking care of my narcissist mother it's very hard and stressful. She's waiting for her house to sell and it's been 1 year. I want to give up but for some reason I can't. It's like I'm reliving my childhood all over again. She's 75 and think she might have dementia because she lost her parking handicap plac ect. I get worried that she might hurt herself in her own place but she has a necklace thing to call for emergency if anything. I have a lot of mix feelings but I love her shes my mom 😔 I don't have any relationship with siblings they too treated me the way my mom did and I feel good to do so because they are toxic and the younger sister almost destroyed my life. It's been 10 years. I pray everyday to GOD to give me patience with her. I just think how much Jesus loves us all in this world beyond our understanding and he wants us all to love like he gives and I also think that she's my mom and I only have 1 mom and I feel that I need to keep pushing helping mom. 1 one thing is I set my boundaries that also helps too.

[@Mscompuncawitz]

@@joelallen1990 good move!

[@LoveJoyPeacePatienceKindness]

@@joelallen1990 sometimes I think it's just not fair, God is working it all out

[@MTASAHM]

My mother is all of these. And the facial expressions…thank you! I was so used to seeing them but still always thought they were over the top and not normal. Thank you for posting this. Going on month 6 of no contact. Having a covert narcissistic mother is so difficult to explain that you sometimes doubt your choice to go no contact. Then you see a video like this and remember the hell you once lived because of them. The reminder I needed to stay far away.

[@ITrustInGod24]

Same

[@sarafolkins8231]

87 year old, narcissistic mom who was pregnant with me at 15. I only realized why our relationship was so toxic in the last few years. Even after various counselors in my life, she still destroys me, bringing out rage in me, that I hate. As an only child, I had to move her close to us. The loss of having someone who truly cared about you still haunts me at this age and stage of life.

[@ITrustInGod24]

@@sarafolkins8231 it’s hard but you are not alone. You are loved ♥️

[@TessaB121]

Yes the Covert part is what makes me think I'm crazy. Like AM I the problem? But yes, then I see this video, and I'm like nope...not crazy. Idk what number it was but, yes, it makes my skin crawl when ppl say how sweet and kind my mom is. I literally thought "If you only knew" as Kris said it. I really don't want to, as I'm an only child as well and have very little extended family for my 4 kids, but I may end up no contact as well. 😢

[@ITrustInGod24]

@@TessaB121 I feel the exact same way. It is eye opening to see that I wasn’t imagining the gaslighting and manipulation. I wasn’t wrong when I was a little kid and knew my mother didn’t like me. I decided to go no contact and it giving me so much space to heal. I didn’t realize I was in recovery until I kept watching these videos. I’m so grateful for the revelations and answers.

[@andron967]

My mother was very toxic. But she wasn't a true narcissist. Her inner true self was damaged but still intact. She made great strides in her last yeas of life. At 92 with health failing she woke up. She had something important to say to me one day. She looked at me and said "I never knew you". I didn't know who you are. Your so different than I thought. At her funeral it became very clear that her family had no idea who she was !

[@DanaeLaurenTolbert]

My story my mother was emotionally and psychologically abused by my father. Instead of getting therapy, she allowed it to damage her. She went from Naomi to Mara (bitterness).

[@erikawithee]

YES BC THEY LOVE TO LIE

[@barbaraedwards5675]

I remember God revealing to me that my mother didn’t know me. At 90, she still doesn’t.

[@pamelagibson2780]

All of the above...and unfortunately I've become a people pleaser. I ended up marrying a narcissistic as well 😢

[@incredibowles4678]

​@pamelagibson2780 I married a narcissist as well, ended up leaving the marriage 4 yrs later and have never questioned my decision. Just now, I took Kris Reeves' people pleaser quiz and found I am a "recovering people pleaser". There is hope for you! The fact you are on Kris's site listening to her videos will empower and enable you to begin to set boundaries and own your own life, living to please God alone, and as you put your relationship with Him first, get to know him and to live fully by his word, I believe everything else in your life will align for your betterment. ❤ prayers for you and anyone in a narcissist relationship and especially marriage 🙏

[@kimberlywoods4260]

9 out of 10. Just realizing this past year that my mom is a narcissist. And I am 49 years old. It all makes sense now. Never understood her over reactions to things, guilt trips galore. Everything about her, even how I celebrate MY birthday. No empathy even when my family had a house fire, she was mad because it inconvenienced her to have us live with her (although she lives alone in a big house). Whew. Finally it all makes sense.

[@deniseware1802]

I'm 52 and knew things were off with my mom over the years, but only recently after listening to these lectures, realized my mom is a narcissist. My aunt, her own sister, pointed me to these lectures and they've been super helpful. Blessed that my aunt was smart enough to research and help me understand my mom better! I pray for my mom daily

[@MKCarol-ms7lg]

It took me to age 65 to find the name of the hell I had lived with all the years before. Thank God for the internet and these channels.

[@deborahwilliams3176]

I was in my 40’s when I realized that my mother was a narcissist. My crazy childhood finally made sense.

[@ChosenandCrowned]

Yes. I’m 60 and just now seeing the truth of all I went through. It’s comforting to understand, to know we don’t have to live this way any more, that God wants to heal our hearts, and to know I’m not the only one going through it.

[@ChosenandCrowned]

@@MKCarol-ms7lgAmen. Me too. I’m 60 and God chose this year to teach me the truth about the hell I grew up in. So grateful to have found this community.

[@I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful]

When my mother died, i felt a great sense of morbid relief. Knowing that i'd never be subjected to her sick twisted mind games & psychological torment anymore, was unfathomable to comprehend.

[@oppressednolonger1497]

isnt it weird and bizarre to feel such relief, but really if yours was actually destroying your life, weird as it is you would be better off when the drama disappears :/ those who have not experienced this firsthand cannot quite wrap mind around the devastation they induce.. oof well healthy wishes to you

[@utubeu8129]

I am looking forward to feeling that relief, Lol!!

[@kathycarter2940]

@@utubeu8129 Definitely! The relief will be life changing!, Sad But True!,

[@rosykatzCATS]

@@I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful I was relieved too. She in her last moments said my daughter was her daughter and only surviving child. Glad she's gone,

[@Lovebuzz11-11]

exactly. last week I found me wishing she would just go away! It hurts me that I feel this way, this can be tormenting in itself.

[@judithfs]

Oh my goodness. Every single one, including number 10. She didn't try to live through me, she tried to destroy me. You might also add to the list the sickly voices....baby voice, smarmy voice, contemptuous voice, sneering voice etc. When she died, all I felt was relief. Oh, and yes, she was a Super-Christian, on a level with God. Ironically, it was only my own faith in the real God that enabled me to survive and recover. I'm now 62 and still healing.

[@carolineoates5964]

The voices. Goodness gracious I have heard them all. Great list. I rather think that what we are all dealing with is demonic. Not flesh and blood. Powers and principalities and spiritual wickedness in high places. Demons pretend to be dead people when mediums contact them. They can do voices. Actors channel spirits to get into character. Mae West and a modern American actress have admitted this. Our loved ones need deliverance I think.

[@hadassah4599]

@@judithfs yes! The different voices. & can be accents too. *** And this other thing where she seems to try to become MORE YOU (or any other person) than YOU?!!! (Ive just recently put my finger on this odd situational trait… @Kris_Reece Is this also narcissism? or something else?

[@hadassah4599]

1• sees you as an extention of herself. 2• very critical 3• has toxic reactions 4• lacks empathy 5• doesn’t respect your boundaries 6• wears a mask; the public persona in stark contrast to private. 7• believes others are “jealous” of her. Cant have genuine connection, so makes excuses 8• entitled & self-important : - OVERTLY, doing obnoxious, inappropriate things for attention, or trashing talking someone they deem as beneath them; OR - COVERTLY, less outward/obnoxious, but still exuding superiority over others. 9• distorts reality & gas-lights; if called out will “flip the script”, creat confusion : - denies it, you’re remembering wrong, too sensitive, OR - flips the scripts on you, anger, or martyr 10• weird facial expressions, ticks. Reveal their contempt for others. They REQUIRE ADMIRATION 24/7, being called out over facts or how they treated you will not be tolerated => flipping the script, gaslighting, word salads, martyrdom, blame and shame, “game” of choice…

[@JooHaruby]

I’m so afraid that I would be like my mom ; who acts like a hypocrite. Never changes her attitude and never takes care of other people’s feelings 😢

[@drmusicmaster]

I bet she hated it if you tried to clarify a scripture she quoted out of context. My mom hated that I knew scripture better than she did.

[@cc967]

Over the years, if I shared with my mother my hurts and disappointments, she would always say, “There are so many other people worse off than you.” What kind of mother responds to their hurting child that way?

[@as2223]

Sorry to hear, It's like yeah, ok mom, sure it's true right, but what matters is what was said before or what follows those words. Hopefully lots of love and hugs to comfort you, a hurting child. Otherwise that's not good if that's all she said.

[@WicklessRoyalty]

Yeah well one time when I was a kid I saw my stepdad raping my mother and tried to make him stop. She ran out of the house and left me there and came back and act like nothing happened. Never talk to me about it. Never got me counseling. It's bothered me my whole life and then when I brought it up to her a few years ago how horrible that was and how it bothered me that I didn't get help. She said. "You just need to get over it I have!" 😢😢

[@susanrabeck1753]

My mother would say 'you cry too much' and I would say 'you don't cry enough'. Just be glad we are not the same as them. Thank God.

[@susanrabeck1753]

@@WicklessRoyalty I am so sorry for your trauma. It is unbelievable these demons are. I feel your pain and frustration and just want to say 'I relate'. I hope you find the peace you deserve.

[@motivateinspire1]

Saaaame.

[@Godlydesire1]

Mom was a narcissist and ex wife narcissist I miss understood what love and forgiveness are. Thank you for your help God bless

[@deborah-coach-innerlijk-kind]

All 10. 😅I can really laugh about it now but it took 20 years to heal from this toxic behavior. My inner child was severely damaged. God helped me all the way. I received step by step all the help I needed. Greetings from Holland.❤

[@marlelarmarlelar9547]

6/10 for my mom. But what is scary is that I see a few of these traits in myself - God has shown me some areas I need to work on!

[@julibear2329]

Yes! I feel you on this one! I don't consider my mom to be super toxic, but she can get bad if I let her past my boundaries. When I hear these videos, it confirms what she is, but I do notice some of these traits in myself (I make the weird faces....sometimes not even realizing it). I am thankful that God has revealed this so that I can make sure that I don't act like this with my kids. I never want them growing up resenting me or trying to distance themselves from me like I do with my mom.

[@maritaberndt6200]

@@marlelarmarlelar9547 🥰

[@maritaberndt6200]

Same.

[@janjakirchbaum153]

Same.

[@turquoisemama33]

And what if that is also your mother's/our mother's shoes to walk in? What if the grandmother was, and the great grandmother, and the great great grandmother.......? Is it possible noone knows that they are doing this? They can't see it? Everyone has blind spots. And then it just keeps getting passed down from generation to generation. Our hope is we are breaking the chain and stopping the domino effect, right?

[@ITrustInGod24]

My mother fits all the descriptions. Instead of dancing in front of everyone she’s making fun of people. 10 blew my mind because she has these faces that no one else sees but I see them and know what they mean. She is indeed a narcissist without question.

[@Poliflix76]

You completely described my "Mommy Dearest," however you left out triangulation, falsely slandering you behind your back, silent treatment, never apologizing, and money- stealing from and holding it over her children. Oh, and threatening no one will know when she dies. Always ready to die, but she outlives everyone!

[@HeartofDixieKim]

The never apologizing...so hurtful.

[@carolineoates5964]

The silent treatment too. Dreadful.

[@pejohnson561]

Falsely slandering behind my back left me shell shocked. There’s always something.

[@cmciis]

Never apologizing, stealing from her children- after all what is theirs' is really mine, and triangulation are definitely narcissistic traits.

[@lizaddison5751]

Triangulation is a HUGE one... problem I have is when you decide to inform those who you feel will understand, you end up feeling like You are doing the same thing, which then leads to isolation... Narcissism is such a cruel and horrid illness that impacts us no matter how hard we try to recover and stay true.

[@TruthInspector]

My mom is 9 out of 10. I didn't break free until she passed and was finally able to live my own life.

[@monetstallion9363]

Hi, I'm just curious, how did you go about living your own life after she passed? I'm trying to figure out my journey moving forward and have become stagnant.

[@remaincalm-godishere2751]

@@monetstallion9363 I’m in the same place. My Mother just passed in July and I’m feeling even more stuck now.

[@monetstallion9363]

@remaincalm-godishere2751 oh wow, my mom passed in July also 😢 during the last 10 years of taking care of her, all I could think of was what I'd be doing if I didn't have the responsibility. Now that she's gone I haven't been functioning properly. I hope that you and I both can grieve and heal and live the lives we always hoped for. 🫂 ❤️ I'm so sorry for your loss.

[@nnnnnnnnnnn7292]

@@monetstallion9363 This feeling of emptiness often arises from the lack of the emotional highs and lows that you have become accustomed to throughout your life. Without those adrenaline rushes, it's normal to feel drained, and it will take time to adjust. For those who were raised by narcissistic mothers, finding what truly brings us joy can be challenging, making happiness feel elusive. It's important to give yourself time to simply exist. Your brain needs to create new neural connections to rediscover happiness. Embrace this process; it is essential for your healing and growth.

[@battlevain]

Both my parents were narcissists. My mum still plays puppet master and i have learned a great deal about narcissism by being around her. These people drain your energy constantly.

[@Alice-ts3vl]

So stop being around her❤

[@alariaesculenta8177]

Thank God finally someone who acknowledges narc mothers. When I was younger I was totally confused by my mother's reactions in private and in public. In her head I was forever 15 years old, she'd always treat me like I was a kid. Ppl would praise me to her, telling her what a fantastic daughter she had, and bam she'd put me down in public, telling ppl what a mean, awful daughter I was. Ppl would get silent, look at me, and I felt so ashamed, thinking 'she just ruined my reputation to this or that person' (the smearing). But in retrospect I think ppl saw right through her, and were feeling sorry for me, probably thinking what an awful mom...poor young woman. And in those days, no one would accept the idea that your own mom was sabotaging your life. I don't know why but ppl always said 'oh, but she's your mom, you can't complain, you have to do what she says or wants'. In the bible there's a scripture that tell parents not to push their children over the edge, but I don't remember where and what exactly. Why isn't that scripture being put forward by pastors, preachers, priests, etc ?

[@cds8249]

I think the verse you're referring to is Ephesians 6:4. I haven't told extended family yet about a lot of the things mine did bc I know they wouldn't believe me. It's sickening how double sided/two faced narc mums are.

[@kimberlychristine9284]

Same. 😔My mom still brings up things I said and did at 5 years old and convinces me I'm still that same person now. It's crazy.

[@sirtedricwalker2979]

In the new testament Parents do not exasperate you children

[@margieavila3594]

@@alariaesculenta8177 Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21, are what you’re looking for.

[@adrianmokry8438]

Yes, it is these texts, but your mum will not understand it (see John 8:43), it is for you and for those who give you advice about the situation. She needs first to understand the message to Laodiceans and accept that it is also for her personally - Revelation 3:17-19 "Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’-and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked- I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten Therefore be zealous and repent." It is a message to everyone, including me, but especially for narcissists it is the first thing they need and the only medicine to narcissism. Therapy may help, but only if they take the lesson from this message; otherwise it will make things even worse. John 3:3 "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."

[@loismanzi2442]

Can’t tell you how much validation I feel right now. Iam 63 my mothers 83 with dementia and other mental issues living in assited living. This list is my mother. She has done a number on me through the years and I always felt it was me I was bad I was this and that but as I got older and had been living on my own since 19 I got stronger . I could see there was something wrong with her. She still did damage but at least we didn’t live under the same roof anymore. I always felt bad that I loved her but didn’t like her. Iam a born again Christian and I struggle to totally forgive her because even the way she is now she is still that person does and says the same things and I can’t stand being around her. No matter how much me and my siblings do for her it’s never ever enough. She sucks the life out of us. I worry about her and want her to be safe and get out and try to enjoy life so we take her out 4 or 5 days a week taking turns there’s 4 of us . She goes to restraunts to live shows and plays shopping all family gatherings , dinner in our homes and yet whenever one of us picks her up to go somewhere she always plays the victim who never sees anyone or goes anywhere. The people who work at where she lives have told me they have never seen a family do so much for their parent. I wish they’d tell her that. Oh well she’s never going to change now so God Bless her and now knowing what I’ve been dealing with I feel better about myself and more empowered! Thankyou so much you have no idea how much I needed to know this . Many Blessings🙏🕊❤️

[@MKCarol-ms7lg]

My mother is 95 and in a nursing home. I don't visit and she can call me ungrateful all she wants but for my sanity I will not visit. When she passes, I will miss what I've always missed, having a truly loving mother.

[@gobigirl1]

Some people could feel cheated and withheld-from even if you gave them one of your own kidneys :(. It's as if they have a hole in their psychic "bucket," you could give them so much validation and affection, but it never seems to register with them, no lasting goodwill is ever created with such people.

[@debraboldan7372]

My mother did a number on me as well, hyper critical of me

[@newadventures7222]

Dr Henry Cloud says “forgiveness is for offences in the past, not for offences that are happening right now” (or words to that effect). That thought has helped my husband & I immensely as we’ve dealt with his elderly mother (who scores 10 out of 10 on the above list). We certainly understand the “nothing that we do is enough” feeling. That, along with dealing with other abuses from her was killing my husband & our marriage. We have been no contact with my MIL (& subsequently his whole family of origin) for about 3 years now, although she fairly regularly tries to thwart that (hence ongoing abuse). It’s been extremely difficult but we are healing. 🙏🏻

[@katsadventures7027]

I’m just looking at all of this now. It’s a nightmare for me to be around my mom and absolutely nightmare. I get so much anxiety and stress with my mom. She’s involved in church all her life that in her mind they are the only ones right and the rest of us are all wrong on our way to hell, it’s horrible. I am constantly being judged condemned. She’s demanding controlling very self-absorbed. It’s so difficult. It’s so very difficult because I want so badly to be there for her. She’s 84 but I’ve reached the last five days that I stop seeing her. I can’t handle it no more, and it breaks my heart to pieces😢 I wish I had somebody to talk to about this some expert. It would really be helpful because I’m confused right now.

[@rahbeeuh]

I wasn't raised by my mother but I had a maternal figure who raised me. She had huge narcissistic tendencies that made our house unlivable for me. I'm thankful to God that I'm no longer in that environment. I don't think I'd be alive otherwise. 🙌🏾

[@faithl4105]

❤

[@erikawithee]

I would rather live in a tent

[@MKCarol-ms7lg]

My first suicide attempt was at age 9. I hear your pain.

[@rahbeeuh]

@@erikawithee I used to dream of living in a tent instead of where I lived.

[@rahbeeuh]

@@MKCarol-ms7lg oh no. Mine was sadly around that age as well. Blessings to you ✨

[@sherryclark8121]

Oh yeah, I remember my Narc mother telling me that I must respect her because she is my mother and I objected telling her that doesn't fly because she doesn't respect me...

[@whitneya7578]

They can treat us however they want and we’re supposed to take it! It’s ridiculous!

[@sherryclark8121]

@@whitneya7578 they use partial or twisted Scripture to manipulate...

[@Cantfindme3]

Even as an adult child, apparently the respect only goes one way… oh and you better hope you don’t end up chronically ill and needing their support. Worst experience.

[@susanrabeck1753]

@@Cantfindme3 Damn. This hit hard. I had a stroke in 2017 and my mother said maybe I should have died. Unbelievable. Hope you are doing better.

[@xikititahx3]

I had not finished confirming this, but things fit better, mothers who think, feel and express the desire to make you "disappear" as a person, criticizing you, hitting you, wishing you death or never having given birth to you will obviously never apologize for that and they believe What they did is fine aaah but go do the same thing as them or wish them the same thing back, you invoked hell 🙃

[@fawnhutchins5994]

I see ALL of these signs. It took me 40 years to figure out that I’m so explosive because I’m still being abused by her. No more!

[@CaroleanneWright]

I had to walk away, for good.

[@charlotteinfj4412]

Thank you, yes ! Years of sickly voice, or screaming, telling me I am wrong, not normal and berating me... until I explode. Then they can say "I am right, you are sick, bad etc." and start the process all over again. It never stopped until I went no contact. But now I have to work to act "normal" because I was never treated as such. I never had a "normal" family. It's difficult to trust anyone after decades of whatever the F that was.

[@yom12345]

Man so eye opening! My mom is all of these. The part where your skin crawls when people say how great they are. YES!!! I laugh so hard when my mom is convinced everyone is jealous of her 😂😂😂

[@philosophy_schilling]

It is so helpful to hear someone of faith discuss this. Thank you - I can't believe how accurate and true to my experience every second of this is.

[@natalielucia3574]

I noticed so many signs. I am actually a super empath and my mother’s worst nightmare. She could never control me and I never cared about her threats. I would tell her about herself in a kind way and continue on my path. She hates it.

[@gww-px8vc]

They hate truth and they shamelessly twist everything pretending to be the victims

[@sarahs.9678]

Thankfully my mom is not a narcissist, but she does have some of these traits. I can relate to you with the empathy thing. My mom has always praised me for being gentle and kind and able to diffuse situations or confront people in a loving manner, but whenever I do it with her she can’t hear it, gets defensive and doesn’t even want to have the conversation. Fortunately she has worked on this some but it’s still an issue. She doesn’t know how much I pick my battles with her because I just can’t always go there anymore.

[@kmsongbird]

Yep, you have described me, the ME of my first 60 years. In 2020 my middle (of 3 sons) son and his wife, both mental health professionals, after gently and kindly trying to lay down their boundaries and confront me on issue after offending issue (to no avail), they simply cancelled me. They cut me off all communication. No letters, texts, phone calls, social media contact. Indefinitely. It was devastating. It was a canon shot to my heart. It took about a year of crying myself to sleep and waking up crying before my prayers for clarity over my sin became more frequent than my prayers for reconciliation or that God would "wake them up"! And I began to research to try to understand what it is that he had been attempting to communicate to me all these years leading up to this. Another year of research and repentance...repentance for gaslighting him at every turn (I didn't even know what that term meant) among so many other things. What you describe in this video describes me. BUT HEALING CAN HAPPEN! GOD is bigger than ANY of our sins, our mental and emotional disorders, and He is the God of Sanctification, reconciliation, of HEALING of relationships, when we are surrendered to Him. I knew my son and his wife were believers surrendered to Christ. I was and am surrendered to Christ, just blind, terribly terribly blind, to my continued mental and emotional disorders which needed to be healed. So, without expecting them to let me back into their lives, I sought the Lord for true repentance, sorrowful and mourning the death of the relationship, but grateful for and blessing my son and his wife for being brave enough to do this VERY VERY HARD thing of cancelling me. I prayed, and pray still, that NO PERSON ever again need to be used as a tool in the hands of God for my sanctification! May I never again offend, only Christ, only let the gospel itself (because it can and will) be a stumbling block to someone with whom I am in relationship, not sinful behavior on my part! It is a long long road to healing, to truly feeling loving, selfless empathy for others; lots and lots of dying has taken place in my heart and mind and LIFE since then. And more to go. My son reached out to my husband a year ago and took him to lunch and told him they were willing to give me another go, but only if I agreed to a zoom meeting wherein they could read me their manifesto and if I agreed, then we could "proceed with caution." I fasted 3 days before that zoom call for the strength to LISTEN to and AGREE with every word they would say. NEVER MIND if they "misunderstood" this or that! It MATTERS what they FEEL. It MATTERS completely! I have had to continue to take my "arguments" to the throne of grace, to God alone in prayer, where He calms my heart and shows me how very little importance my "arguments" really have in the bigger picture of loving my children. They have no importance at all, in fact! It's getting easier. We just had a wonderful family vacation - all three of our sons, the eldest and his wife and 3 kids, my middle son and his wife, and our youngest son who is still single. WE GOT ALONG great and it's because I served, I loved, I appreciated just BEING with these people, all who matter to me more than life itself. It used to be all about me. NEVER EVER AGAIN. It has always needed to be all about Jesus, and when HE is in control, it is ALL about LOVE.

[@karynh2153]

Wow! The Unified Bride of Christ is possible!!! She can get out her own spots and wrinkles!!! Praise God!

[@camiestockhausen2070]

God is great. Aleluia!

[@christinahotea1977]

Wow, that’s amazing! Praise the Lord for your transformation and for a second chance with your son! God is so good! Such an encouraging testimony!

[@janemonroe921]

Yes it does take courage to look at ourselves. When God was telling me I had to introspect, the devil told me, don’t do it! It won’t be good.” I did eventually allow God to show me who I was & it was the best thing to ever happen. It was very liberating.

[@lisamarieb3853]

Bravo! So many of us wish our mothers could be as self aware as you. My mother has had plenty of opportunities to “wake up” as all 4 of us kids removed ourselves from her life without any encouragement from each other. My mother has a religious addiction also. She has no true identity. Everything this woman says in this video is my mother to a tea. We have been estranged 14 years. Her 2 letters to me continue to prove that she hasn’t changed at all. It’s taken me years in therapy, EMDR, meditation and other healing modalities to change my “people pleasing, be safe at all cost” behaviors because of the toxic home environment I grew up in.

[@kristy3380]

You just described my "christian" mother. At the age of 44 years old this year I have finally gone no contact.

[@katherinegranger1995]

Got it.

[@oppressednolonger1497]

thats a young age to do so than the average - consider your self lucky , blessed

[@Ana-v1o]

Same at 47

[@lauraneri3701]

Me too. I just wish it didn't mean a lost relationship with my father too.

[@violetab3750]

My “Christian” ex husband was quoting The Bible, and at the same time he was constantly fighting with me, and he hated my son. He said that he didn’t like me avoiding the conflict for the sake of peace.

[@aliholzer714]

Oh My.Gosh...the facial expressions...have you been following us around? Spot on! Amd I gave birth to my mother...my daughter and mom are so much alike. Both extremely co dependant. Thank you for all your teachings in Christ...without Him we are all doomed. God Bless you!❤

[@JerryThibeaut]

Yep. My Mom as well. Her Mom ( Grandma ) was even worse. Their relationships were transactional and it was all about control. I could keep going…

[@PeaceandfreedominYeshua]

Really interesting comment about the weird facial expressions. I totally notice that, and a weird, horrible look in their eyes, it's creepy, almost like they think they're so clever and loving hurting you, it's sick, sick , sick! Thanks for posting this.❤

[@dancingnature]

Oh yeah , the smirk when they’re trying to hurt you!

[@PeaceandfreedominYeshua]

@dancingnature Yeah, it's shows how cruel they truly are.

[@SoBelle100]

10 out of 10 for me! However, I believe my mother is a sociopath. As a licensed clinical trauma therapist, I have turned an unbearable relationship with my mother into a rewading job of helping others on their journey to healing. However, the scars of the CPTSD remain. Excellent video! Thank you for posting.

[@pendersweetz]

This was one of the most, if not THE most painful experience of my life. 3 years of therapy and a LOT of seeking God and it's still a fresh and painful wound. The biggest struggle is how difficult it is to explain to others and therefore how hard it is to find support. I'm so thankful for my incredible therapist who validates and takes the time to work through this with me. Sending love to all my unknown co-sufferers of this truly difficult kind of abuse. You are not alone ♥

[@TroyM777]

Unfortunately, yes. I’ve suffered for a long time and given into anger with mine. I’m led to this video today… I’m 38.. and finally now having an independent… after receiving a text from her (which makes me anxious) I pray to God each time for the strength to be kind and set boundaries. It’s a very hard thing when you are family oriented, and loyal to a fault.. and this person has used your loyalty and love against you. I’m praying now because I feel it’s a test from God on how I will deal with it. I pray now.. because God is very much in my life and that truth teller in me is back and I try to avoid her because it could be yet another quarrel I don’t have time for. God knows how tired I am with this… yes, I’ve seen many different weird facial expressions over the years growing up.

[@marniejane88]

My mom is absolutely all of these. I've distanced myself and don't share any important news because she just ruins it and she'll never change. My sister is having a hard time realizing she's a narcissist and will never be the mom we needed..your mental health is more important

[@erikawithee]

Thank you for posting this it’s so true SHE CANNOT FAKE IT ANYMORE

[@DivinelyFeminine5]

Lmao team 10 .. doesn't even bother me anymore. I mourned and grieved and realized that in this lifetime the only loving mother I could have is myself .. I can only hope to create a loving family ❤

[@zigzag9133]

My mother had NPD . She was a broken monster . I didn’t fight with her , but got away as quickly as possible. Run don’t walk they destroy the lives of everyone around them.

[@cathynorton1282]

Very informative, excellent. I took your people pleaser quiz. I am an avoider. My mother was not a narcissist, but my son says that I am a narcissist. It was one of the most painful things that he has ever said to me. I cried for two days. I wish you would do a teaching for those mothers that have been accused of being a narcissist and aren't. I want a relationship with my son, because I love him. I have tried to change the things on the list that he accused me of, "not accepting no", which is the only answer I ever get, which did result in me asking again. I made a conscientious effort to say, "Ok," and let it go. However, I did think that one day he'd realize that's all he ever says to me is "no", but he hasn't. He has currently gone "No contact" with me, which breaks my heart. I pray for us, which is all I can do.

[@Kris_Reece]

We’re praying for you too 🙏🏼

[@jdfodio]

Narcissistic mothers love to play the victim card against their own children, especially when gathering "support" for their cause (to deny/cover up that they're narcissists).

[@traceywarren5573]

I was stunned watching this. Today you have summed up all of the times I have unsuccessfully tried to explain my unendingly difficult relationship with my mother. I have felt like the crazy one. I could not name my struggles, but here they are. It’s heartbreaking. So often I believe I am moving past the decades of hurt caused by my covert narcissist mother, and then something new happens that causes me to grieve the lack of support I wish I had from her. That’s what cuts so deeply. . . My mother is completely incapable of being a supportive and nurturing human.

[@t-knitting]

O my, all signs are here. I might have dief before I realized what has been going on! I wish I had learnt about narcissism before

[@yessidraws]

The first 9 for sure. My mother was a covert narcissist and was a master at masking her emotions. She should have won an Oscar.

[@Blueskies445]

Left Narcissistic Father, Mother, Brother! It's so peaceful now❤God is good. He is my rock!!:)

[@betterlivingonabudget]

All of your points here are spot-on. This is by far the best summary of narcissism traits that I've come across. Sadly, it seems the number of narcissists in the world is growing by the day. Social media and the me-me-me mindset is a big factor in that trend.

[@ChosenandCrowned]

All 10! A year ago when my mother said she had no empathy during a specific situation, I found that an odd thing to say. At the time I didn’t know what that meant entirely. I just knew she was mean and it didn’t surprise me to hear her say it. Just this year, 2024, at age 60, am I learning what a narcissist is. Learning the name for her chosen condition helps aid in my healing; everything is making sense now. It’s so comforting to know I’m not alone in learning this and to know that I’m not the only one that suffered silently. God bless you all as you find healing through Jesus and this ministry.

[@phalynwilliams4119]

Honey, 🍯 you are not alone. I am 59. For all my life I thought it was me but between her and my narcissistic ex-husband I have so much better clarity now. It is a blessing and I thank Jesus for it ✝️

[@ChosenandCrowned]

@@phalynwilliams4119 What a comfort it has been to find out that I’m not alone. Funny how I’m seeing that God is healing many of us in our late 50s & 60s. Your response is interesting. I also went from a narcissistic mother to a narcissistic husband. Wow! What a ride. From the pan into the fire, as they say. God was with me every step but did not allow me to leave the marriage for 13 years. Then one day He said, let’s go, follow Me. Painful but He walked me through the fire to freedom. Sadly, my son chose that path of coping and suffers from narcissism as well. Different profiles but abusive just the same. I wrote a book about abandonment but did not focus on this area. God is healing me now, but may write about it next.

[@phalynwilliams4119]

@@ChosenandCrowned , Yes. Thank you. 😊

[@lucindasavona2278]

My mother was sooo toxic. I was more than her rival. She absolutely hated me & still does. She made our family very disfuntional. She did everything possible to sabotage my life & make me as miserable as herself. She tried many times to corrupt me & turn me into a narcissist like herself. She failed!! Unfortunately, she did succeed with 2 of my younger sisters. They are both narcissists like her.

[@AngeliaWhaley]

Oh my, spot on 💯, and my dad died in 21' , now I'm her caretaker. It's exhausting 😪

[@Whyruhere1275]

Spending the second half of my life healing from the first half. Although I am no contact, these are an eerie reminder of my childhood.

[@JLR4244]

Kris, I am so grateful that you are addressing and bringing light to this subject especially on a biblical basis. I'm 77 yrs old, my mother has been dead for 27 years, but her toxic influence in my life has left many long-term residual effects. She literally changed who I am and how I viewed God, myself and others. I went through counseling several years ago and it helped me to sort through a lot of the abuse by both of my parents. I let go of a lot of my anger, guilt and shame. I've done a great deal of healing and forgiving, especially forgiving myself. That being said, no one ever used the term narcissist to describe who my mother was. I would have to check " all if the above" on your list of 10. It is very helpful to see this more clearly. It helps me to understand my feelings and behaviors and to not feel so alone on my on-going healing journey. You are such a blessing in my life. ❤

[@thedailymakermaking]

Such a right on list! ❤ 1) Thinks you are an extension of her 2) Critical of you 3) Toxic reactions 4) Lacks genuine empathy 5) Doesn’t respect your boundaries 6) Wears a mask 7) Believes others are jealous of her 8) Entitled and self-important 9) Distorts reality (gaslighting) 10) Weird facial expressions

[@ericpramudi8050]

10 out of 10. Thank you Kris! Have been setting boundaries and practicing no contact to protect my wife and kids from my mother. She kept on hurting my wife with her NPD manipulations. Even after 2 times craniotomy surgeries, my wife was the one caring for her days and nights. Now she had left our home and live I don't know where and telling people (church community included) I don't know what about me and my wife for being ungreatful son and daughter in law. My wife and kids are my number one priority. God bless you Kris.

[@nikkij6611]

My mother was also very toxic. For most of my life, I was led to believe that everything was my fault. She was overbearing, controlling and emotionally abusive. I cut off ties with her to keep my own sanity. She died two years ago. I never got the chance to have the conversation with her that I so desperately needed to have

[@TessaB121]

I'm so sad that my mother fits every one of these. I've been watching your videos (and a couple other ladies who talk about this) for a few months. I haven't wanted to believe it's true, but I had an issue with her yesterday, and today this video is in my email. 😢 Sigh...acceptance kinda sucks. I do appreciate all you do and how you've helped me to see the truth. Just gotta keep watching and maybe take a course to figure out how to proceed now.

[@Kris_Reece]

😞

[@DogMomCMF]

Me too, I'm in the same place, and it's only been a few months. For the first time in my life, things are making sense. I watched as many videos I could to not have narcissism as the answer, but it confirmed my worst fear. It didn't take long for fear to subside and finally stand up tall no longer taking ownership of her crazy making. What freedom!! When you realize that no matter how loving you can be, how sane you can react to the crazy will not change our mothers! Thank you Kris!!! At 57 I'm getting clarity!!

[@LorettaLong-pr3wg]

Ya, I'm the scapegoat daughter of a narcissistic "mother" who hides behind her religion. Most people are not aware of her dual personality. But I've lived it and know about her hypocrisy. She has caused so much damage in my life yet she goes along her phony little way. I went no contact 4 months ago after many years of enduring her gaslighting, minimizing, criticizing and judging me harshly. She managed to sabotage my relationships with both of my daughters and I will never forgive her.

[@cmciis]

Your mother was probably the daughter of a narcissistic mother herself. So forgive her, but that does not mean you have to be involved with her. I found this out with my mother and that is how I forgave her. However, I refused to stay with her or spend time with her and that became my boundary. I found that if I treated her like a three-year old, we could get along civilly.

[@deconstructing7307]

Good for you for breaking the cycle and protecting your family. You're not obligated to forgive anyone.

[@marquettamiller608]

I had a mother that raised 4 children on her own.worked hard and taught me many things to survive. But as time went by she talked about us behind our backs. Had all my siblings hating me.ade us almost hating ourselves. She slept with my my two sisters husband and tried to get my husband to sleep with her. I remember a specific time when a man made a comment about me, I was 14 at the time. He made the comment to my mother's boyfriend that I was a sexy little bitch. My mother informed me of the comment. She looked and acted like it was all my fault and made me feel dirty when I hadn't done a thing wrong She never defended me and just looked at me like she hated me I was too young to realize what was going on. I realize now that I was competition for her as were my other 2 sisters She was evil, still is and the fact she is now 93 with dementia, doesn't remember all she put us through now makes her the mother we are supposed to love make over and visit in the nursing home My family thinks I'm supposed to forgive and forget it. that's not how it works for me . I can't even stand going to see her but I do . I can hear her voice,smell her scent and I want to puke.

[@Music_is_Breathing]

All of them. My Dad was the biggest enabler I have ever known. When Mom was upset even *he* kept his head down.

[@jsheldon]

I am ecstatic I found you! As a Christian I had a hard time with all the narcissistic abuse videos. They made sense up to a point but felt empty. I kept questioning my perception and thought I was ungrateful. My mom is so polite so overly nice in every situation. But she will never be available for me emotionally and be so fake. I’ve watched your videos all day. I feel reassured that God doesn’t want me to simply endure my mother.

[@barbarakenneth2639]

Absolutely spot on!! I've recognised all of the signs mentioned. It took a long time for me to find this out about my mother. Thank you for sharing such an important information.

[@colleengilroy624]

I was all 10. Truly the love of God saved me through Jesus Christ. It’s been a long road but our Lord has guided me out of that terrible person I was. I’ve confessed my sinfulness to my grown children and asked for their forgiveness. They have. I pray for Jesus to heal them from the damage I’ve caused. My children and grandchildren are loving and kind. Praise and glory to our Father through Jesus Christ ❤

[@angelagrant2943]

Praise God sister! Father delivered me, restored my Soul also ❤. Jesus Came to Set the Captives Free . Thank you Jesus ❤🙏🏼🔥💐

[@apsarasangreal84]

Cannot Question ANYTHING "You're always making stuff up..." It wasnt like ... that....

[@naji465]

My adult daughter shoved herself and her boyfriend into my home for several months. They expected me to work and feed them while they frolicked in my pool all day. And then she accuses me of being a narcissist when I finally had had enough of their antics and asked them to pack up and leave.

[@BebeDaull]

I've noticed it's a trend for narcissistic daughters to convince themselves their mother is the narcissist.

[@anton3541]

Audiatur et altera pars!

[@A.H-j2o]

@@BebeDaull absolutely true 👍

[@kittenpaw5276]

Thank you for this! My mother is 10/10 and the thing that has made it really difficult growing up is my Dad enables her behavior. To give an example, at 38 years old I told my parents that my husband and I were getting divorced. She cried, made it about her and yelled "Why are you doing this to me?!" When I left, she blew up my phone with bible verses about how God hates divorce and then told me that God hates me and is mad at me. She demanded that I tell her where I was at and to come back so "we could talk about this". When I didn't respond to her immediately for the first time in her life, she threatened to call the police and file a missing persons report. She never even asked why I was getting divorced (abuse) and instead made it ALL about her. After going a while of not talking to my mother, my Dad called and said to me that I "needed to forgive her" despite her NEVER apologizing, because "it's the christian thing to do" and "she's your mother". My mom was a covert narcissist up until that massive blow up so I never realized it until it became apparent. I thank God for allowing that to happen, despite how hard it was to go through because he was exposing it all. And its also videos like this that remind me that I'm not crazy and I'm also not alone. Thank you and God bless!

[@princessofarchetypes3870]

@@kittenpaw5276 yes!!!! Exactly!!! They make everything about them.

[@lorralorra222]

@kittenpaw5276 I'm so sorry and hope it's better for u. My mother tries to befriend all my ex friends, I found out because I gave my mother my neighbors number in case she couldn't reach my as I lived abroad, and I found out she called one day just complaining about me, and they told me, then I found out she had been doing that to alot of my friends, all my life, but it didn't click till last year, when my younger brother died of cancer, and she told me he never really loved u and neither do any of the family, when I told my dad he said she didn't mean it, her enabler and both have not apologized, I moved from abroad to help them when she said that, and now I'm trying to pack and leave cause I live downstairs, but have a 20ft container, I unpacked and have to pack, I would just leave everything but sold my house and have to find somewhere else, it's just crazy..4 sep, 24

[@lorralorra222]

@kittenpaw5276 I'm so sorry and hope it's better for u. My mother tries to befriend all my ex friends, I found out because I gave my mother my neighbors number in case she couldn't reach my as I lived abroad, and I found out she called one day just complaining about me, and they told me, then I found out she had been doing that to alot of my friends, all my life, but it didn't click till last year, when my younger brother died of cancer, and she told me he never really loved u and neither do any of the family, when I told my dad he said she didn't mean it, her enabler and both have not apologized, I moved from abroad to help them when she said that, and now I'm trying to pack and leave cause I live downstairs, but have a 20ft container, I unpacked and have to pack, I would just leave everything but sold my house and have to find somewhere else, it's just crazy..4 sep, 24

[@lorralorra222]

@kittenpaw5276 I'm so sorry and hope it's better for u. My mother tries to befriend all my ex friends, I found out because I gave my mother my neighbors number in case she couldn't reach my as I lived abroad, and I found out she called one day just complaining about me, and they told me, then I found out she had been doing that to alot of my friends, all my life, but it didn't click till last year, when my younger brother died of cancer, and she told me he never really loved u and neither do any of the family, when I told my dad he said she didn't mean it, her enabler and both have not apologized, I moved from abroad to help them when she said that, and now I'm trying to pack and leave cause I live downstairs, but have a 20ft container, I unpacked and have to pack, I would just leave everything but sold my house and have to find somewhere else, it's just crazy..4 sep, 24

[@lorralorra222]

@kittenpaw5276 I'm so sorry and hope it's better for u. My mother tries to befriend all my ex friends, I found out because I gave my mother my neighbors number in case she couldn't reach my as I lived abroad, and I found out she called one day just complaining about me, and they told me, then I found out she had been doing that to alot of my friends, all my life, but it didn't click till last year, when my younger brother died of cancer, and she told me he never really loved u and neither do any of the family, when I told my dad he said she didn't mean it, her enabler and both have not apologized, I moved from abroad to help them when she said that, and now I'm trying to pack and leave cause I live downstairs, but have a 20ft container, I unpacked and have to pack, I would just leave everything but sold my house and have to find somewhere else, it's just crazy..4 sep, 24

[@stfj2923]

Thank you so much for sharing these clear truths! Amazing to share this with our society. I have experienced this as well and as an adult finally broke free from this negative grip and control. 🎉 I wish for all who hear this message/video will find the healing and freedom their life deserves. 🙏

[@rosiereal]

The facial tics! My mother's been gone now since 2017 & I'm finally making sense of what was really going on. She & her mother were both narcissistic. They both grew up in small towns, but acted like they were the Queen of England. Endlessly commenting on other people's looks & their failings. Deeply insecure.

[@chateaucarrie1]

8/10, so I guess that's a yes. Always wondered why things were the way they were. Thanks for this!

[@amie7229]

Wow ok so my Mom is and unfortunately always has been every single one of those things my entire life. I wasn’t raised by her but I lived with her for several years here and there growing up and it was so unbearable. Even now, she’s still extremely hard to be around. I’m creating boundaries tho, excusing myself when her word cursing or screaming starts. These videos have helped tremendously in handling myself appropriately and the way God wants me to. Thank you Kris ❤ im not sure if you have children but if you do you, they are blessed! As am I! For years I would believe her word curses. Very greatful for your ministry Kris!

[@ilovemelodyjane]

Gift expectations, admiration for MY work when she actually tried to sabotage my dreams, supportive of sibling abuse directed at me.

[@MissTsapovska]

I am so impressed by the honesty and how raw the truth in your information is.

[@Silva-je3bu]

So sad how moms are blamed for everything! My mom wasnt perfect, but as I matured I realized she did her best.

[@collene21]

@Silva-je3bu you're fortunate! Some moms aren't making "mistakes," they're intentionally sabotaging, manipulating, gaslighting, isolating, and destroying. It gives them pleasure. This is what the video is addressing, not the average mistakes of motherhood.

[@danaspielbusch4610]

@@Silva-je3bu thats the only way i have found to be able to dealwith it

[@SpikeLover1863]

@@collene21 - exactly!

[@awsambdaman]

In my experience moms don’t get blamed enough. Too much empathy for their poor choices

[@awsambdaman]

Maybe it’s my trauma talking but in my situation my dad was essentially blamed for my mom’s poor behavior. She was very reactive and always out of control, but people would say he’s weak for not controlling her (funny cause if you do control her it’s abuse right?). We would never expect a woman to control an abusive husband, we would empathize with her. However my mom was almost never blamed for acting like a child and for being very volatile and caustic toward her family. She insulted all of us when she was mad

[@kaninma7237]

Thank you for making this video. I have often seen nine out of ten, but I have never looked for sign number ten. I find forgiveness is not possible. If someone is punching you in the face and will continue doing that indefinitely and they ask you, "Do you forgive me?", well, no, since you are still doing it. I currently connect with that usually shallow part of her that can have good conversations, but I always remember who she is. Sometimes I think of it like I am visiting a dangerous patient at a mental hospital, as narcissistic personality disorder is listed in the professional psychiatric diagnostic manual. The abuse has been severe and chronic, and I have struggled greatly with my mental health over the decades as a result. Protect yourself and, if you choose to, have what good conversations, if any, your situation permits.

[@Andypandieful]

This description can apply to any female friend as well.

[@sweetnbitr33]

The worst people in the world are the ones who blame their parents for every negative thing that happened to them...nobody is perfect. Personally i think children should be aloud to be themselves because we are all here for a reason. In my opinion you are describing almost ever mother ive met...

[@אפרתכרמלי-ג2ק]

You are Probably a Narcissist

[@celinechauvet1067]

This is unfortunately so true. I found 1 to 6 and 9 and 10... And yes, I'm a people pleaser (big sigh) Thank you for your videos and ressources ! Stay blessed !

[@darleneschreiber9415]

My mother (now 78) always had problems holding down a job...for obvious reasons. She still says, "I've just never been able to work with women....they're jealous of me." 🙄

[@erikawithee]

That doesn’t mean there is narcissistic bc of a job

[@MJ-qb5ph]

Actually as a gay guy almost every narcisdtic nightmare in my life has been with a woman

[@camellia8625]

Is it possible she is just highly attractive and/or talented?

[@spirea99]

Number ten made my jaw drop. Mom made such weird facial gestures and mouth sounds that just drove me nuts. But the falsely slandering (by both parents) to my siblings and adult children was the worse. I couldn't confront them because they became toxic and would guilt me for "disrespecting" them. Mom was diagnosed with an uncurable disease and was bedridden and non-verbal the last eight weeks of her life. I had harbored so much pain, resentment and unforgiveness for years. Yet, when I saw her helpless in that hospice bed at home, I changed. I loved her...I loved her so much. She had been mean to me most of my life and a lot of the time. But suddenly I just loved her so strongly. I brushed her hair, I fed her, I stayed with dad and woke up to help change her and give her pain meds. I loved her. The memories of my life with her now didn't seem like they had all been bad. I whispered in her ear thank you for the good things she had done right. I loved her. I saw her die in my dad's arms. They were together 56 years. All those years that I asked God, "Why doesn't my mom love me?" All that pain was now gone. I loved her. She's been dead a few months and I know she's in a better place. This may sound selfish but I feel 100% healed. This may sound selfish but I wonder if God allowed those last few weeks to heal ME? I'll admit that sounds horrendous but that to me is exactly what happened. I'll never fully understand. Please don't judge my mom. She was one of a dozen children, taken out of school at eleven years old to work fulltime, was sexually abused by her own brother and forced to marry at 16. I also strongly believe she was high functioning autistic. I know it doesn't justify her behavior towards her daughters it but at least it explains it. When she died I wished I would have forgiven her sooner. Rest in peace, Mom. I love you.

[@Jennifer-b4e]

God bless your sweet heart. Thank you for sharing your experiences. In the end, He wants us to love as He first loved us. You did it! And you got healed because of it. Praise Jesus, He's so good! And, you get to live in peace for the rest of your life knowing you loved her, with no regrets. The choice you made will bring you a peace that any other may have left you wanting. What a blessing! I am so moved, and feel like I learned so much from you and your mom. Thank you! I have to add to my comment. What the Holy Spirit brought to my heart is that you were able to forgive her and put pure love and forgiveness ahead of everything else. He never said it would be easy, but He loves us so much and knows what's best for us. I know different people have different situations, so some may not have the ability/circumstances or situation to do what you did. But I do believe that God led you to do that. And I believe if we each seek Him and His guidance, He will lead us to do what we need to in our own situations. He loves us and them both so much and wants the best for all involved. If you decide to take the time to do so--thank you for reading my comment. God bless you!

[@spirea99]

@@Jennifer-b4e Thank you for your beautiful, kind and edifying words!☺

[@Jennifer-b4e]

@@spirea99 ❤️Thank you for being a wonderful example of love and humility and grace. Have a lovely weekend!

[@jenniferglass4350]

This is a beautiful story

[@CrossWarrior7ForTheLord]

She met all of the signs. Thank you. Now I am sure of the thorn.

[@chicago77mm]

My mom is not just critical of me & everything that I do, she's critical of everyone around me too and all of my friends/boyfriends that I've had. It's really frustrating.

[@te7406]

My mom was like that, too.

[@traceya4721]

My mother is very toxic. I am an only child. Many times over the years she has stopped talking to me, the longest time was for 7 years (very peaceful). She is verbally abusive, yells, swears and name calls. But it's never her fault - she says I always start it, like I asked her to please put her Xmas presents under the tree instead of on kitchen bench. In this instance she screamed at me that I am always so controlling with a lot of swear words. This was only last Christmas. She is 80. It never ends. She can pretend to be really nice for a few weeks, but then she starts again. She is currently only talking to her oldest grandchild, her favourite family member. I feel sorry for her as she has bad bouts of depression, and bad eyesight, kbut being around her is awful. She critises her friends, mimics their voices. She's mimiced me. And yes, she tries to say that I've remembered things wrong, or I've made up stuff. She even said she dislikes her "best friend" but needs her to drive her places. It's exhausting.

[@as2223]

May the good Lord bring His peace and blessing to you. Prayers sent for your family.

[@MKCarol-ms7lg]

I pray for my mother. It is all I can do. At 95 and in a nursing home, it is sooo sad.

[@DawnGreen-wn4hr]

8 years…but they always come back.

[@MissTsapovska]

When I was small kid my mom repeated regularly that mother is a sacred figure. And mother always knows best as she has lives experience.

[@thesoapingllamas5131]

This is so true. Oh my. Have no words.

[@Magilla614]

This list describes my mother to a T. Only recently have I realized how it has effected me and my family. Your videos have opened my eyes to how it has affected me and molded how I interact with others. I have always saw myself as being responsible when I accepted blame for any problem. Now I realize that it is a conditioned reaction. Thank you for all of your videos.

[@ClaireGraceMarshall-jr5mm]

This is my mother in every way and she's said more stuff that I can't quite remember now, because it made absolutely no sense at the time.

[@kor405]

Thank God my mother is none of it. ! I wish for all who has gone through it all … a healing and a blessed life !

[@erikawithee]

SHE ABSOLUTELY IS SHE TRIED TO KILL ME WITH MY EX HUSBAND LITERALLY

[@faithl4105]

❤

[@erikawithee]

@@faithl4105 MY MOM IS LITERALLY NUTS I KNEW SHE WAS A NARCISSIST BUT DID NOT THINK SHE WOULD LIE TO EVERYONE N CALL ME CRAZY

[@lillysing5249]

I’m so sorry you’ve experienced that but I’m grateful to God for revealing the truth to you🫶🏾

[@rhondita95]

Did you grow up with my mother too? This fits her to a tee! She is a covert narcissist and I haven’t lived with her since I was 16. However as my parents have been aging, and now that my father passed away two weeks ago, and they need more and more physical care, I have more and more interaction with her. Thankfully, my husband is very supportive and steps in a lot so I deal with her way less than I would otherwise need to.

[@nardo218]

i don't know why i didn't want to admit my mom is a narcissist. i didn't want to admit how much damage was her doing. i didn't want to end our relationship, bc there was no way of fixing it if she wouldn't admit she was the problem. i miss her. for 40 years, i missed me.

[@Rollandchill]

Thank you Kriss for being brave enough to talk about the narcissistic mother. This narcissist, in my opinion is the most difficult to ID, because she usually starts off as sweet and nurturing, but over time she morphs into a self absorbed, controlling prima Donna who guilt trips you into serving her for the rest of your life. Very confusing.

[@apsarasangreal84]

Got my first period at age 11. Same day, "mom" called every grandparent and aunt & uncle, her older cousins, and MY friends mothers bragging what a great job SHE had done.....and gave me a rose.

[@thorinoakenshield5601]

@@apsarasangreal84 I didn’t tell my mom for over a year. She started crying saying she’d been waiting my entire life for that moment. Told her I was afraid she’d call everyone to share the news. She immediately got on the phone to tell everyone through her tears.

[@apsarasangreal84]

@@thorinoakenshield5601 yep. Girl. Narcissist Mothers.. 1000s of videos... totally helped me

[@apsarasangreal84]

@@thorinoakenshield5601 Narc Mom should have a support group

[@LoriAmodeo]

My mother is everything you have said. I cut her off 2 years ago but have struggled with Honor your mother and father. I’ve been praying God understands why I’ve walked away. Thank you for plainly stating the facts. It helps a lot. God bless you.

[@elvirafeher4254]

My mum was raised by a narcissistic evil mother. My grandmother emotionally, physically, and mentally abused my dear mum. Poor mum never stood up to her mother being a good Christian (honour thy mother and father). There is never a day that passes that mum doesn't bring up the past hurts and abused she lived through. Mum deeply regrets not having told gran how much pain she suffered at her hands. It's 44 years next month that gran died. But then pain is just as strong as it ever was.

[@MrsinTN]

My mother, almost 90, is this toxic mother! I’m the second child and the problem child as my brother could deal no wrong. Handsome, talented, and the favorite, I’m just really seeing how she has nearly turned him against me. Can she be a Christian? I wish that I had known decades ago that she’s a narcissist, and that she will not change. Oh Anna, Father, help me deal with this lack of love from my mother. Yes…it’s made me one who apologizes to others even when there’s no reason!

[@TruthBeTold0914]

Mine is a true, NPD that has a combo of Grandiose, Covert, Antagonistic, etc. She was physically, emotionally and mentally abusive up until i went permanent NC over 6 months ago when she achieved getting the golden child turned Narc to physically and verbally abuse me while i was pregnant and in front of my other child. Shes been trying her tactics to get me in her web again (which i used to fall for). She loves to and is very good at hiding behind her "faith/religion/spirituality". You have to remember that there is a demonic spirit attached to these types of people.

[@Cantfindme3]

Thank you SO much for mentioning the facial expressions. This literally makes me emotionally flood, I’ve tried to explain it my whole life but it’s not like anybody else sees it. Thank you, thank you 🙏

[@annetteselent]

I grew up under most of these 10 signs. Never thought of the facial tics one though…this one made me go run to the mirror and chat to myself, checking for my own tics 😬 The one where she thinks she’s better than others, is a dominant trait with her…in fact she will say she has never sinned against anyone and has, indeed, never apologized in her life because of this. She claims to all who will listen(got embarrassing when we had guests over), that she and Dad are so righteous that they will be ruling over other Christians in heaven someday. I feel sorry for those other Christians because she’s pretty tyrannical. 🤷‍♂️

[@alecelouviere]

OMG! Thank you so much! My mom is ALL of this. AND the #10. I have known she was Narcissistic for about 6 years now. I almost killed myself over her...more than once. Anyway, I just noticed these disapproving horrible facial expressions within the last 2 years. She always did them, but I really didn't know what was going on because I'd see her making these critical sighs, squishing her face, etc. So you are 100% correct. The worst trauma I have ever been through. Narcissistic parents.

[@MiladyMetalhead]

My mother talks about me a lot with her friends so they think Im bad though Im in the worst depression of my life.

[@nibs8837]

It isn't you - it's her. You are wonderful, you are unique, you are deserving. It's time to start making decisions based on what is the best thing for *you!* There are many specialists on KZbin, and their video's are very helpful. You are not alone. There are many others who are suffering narcissistic abuse. None of them deserve it. You don't deserve it. Take it one step at a time. You have been programmed to react in a certain way, but you can overcome that programming. There is a beautiful world filled with freedom, and happiness, and it is waiting for you. You can do this.

[@Dionysia_Maria]

8 out of 10. I have many narcissists in my family and I married one who also had a narcissist mother. I am now healing from all the trauma, disappointment and rejection I've experienced.

[@BrettChavis]

Wow I can't believe all my life I really thought I was the person doing or saying things wrong n the whole time it was my mom being toxic to me since I was born

[@Cantfindme3]

I am starting to realize this too. Sending you love 💕

[@masoodpervaiz6044]

wow !!! Dear Kris very nice. God bless you.

[@jtee231]

I will say I was kind of confused growing up. I’m 39 years old now, but I still feel like some of what my mother would say to me at times still kind of affected me and had an impact on how I deal with the world and people now And I understand that I have the power to change that and I can heal myself, but it’s hard trying to recover and undo everything that was done but anyway like I was saying I was confused by my mother I will say I’m not sure if she’s a narcissist, but maybe she was growing up I remember being deathly afraid of her I remember her calling me names when I made mistakes or did something wrong she will call me out of my name and curse me and punish me I felt like I could never get from under her ever since I was old enough to work. I just remember living with my mother, till I was about 28 and everywhere we moved. I would help her pay bills, which is understandable, but at the same time I couldn’t have friends over I didn’t feel like I could live and stretch out I felt caged in and boxed and whenever I tried to do something for myself, it kind of felt like I could never do it around her. I felt trapped a lot of times, and I remember even younger. We weren’t really allowed to have friends over our house. I remember times her grabbing me by my hair and pulling me to the ground because I snuck out of the house, but somehow always felt like the punishment never fit the Scenario I was quiet didn’t talk in school and all the faculty would always ask me if there was something going on in the home and then finally she passed away in 2010 from a self-inflicted problems. I miss her a lot, but I will say it was the most free I ever felt. But I felt like I could actually start living and in a way she was kind of like my protector and we did have some good times and I do miss her.

[@tarao4382]

I'm 39 as well, 40 in a few months. I can relate to you in so many ways. 🫶🏾

[@carladee8983]

I can relate to a lot of what you said. The fact we still love and miss our parents even after the trauma inflicted on us, I believe is a positive sign, because it involves forgiveness. We need to remember that so many people suffered abuse and neglect themselves and had no one to turn to - no friends, no family, no wise counsel, no one who really cared; and not so long ago KZbin and social media in general didn't exist as a means of allowing people to share experiences and give and receive advice. I pray for the healing of all past trauma and emotional wounds for those of us who have suffered at the hands of neglectful parents. God bless 🩷🙏🏼

[@rosiemercury111]

All 10 of them, I'm 55 and its now hitting me like a tsunami. I'm caring for my elderly parents and my life has literally disappeared in order to tend to their needs. I'm angry, resentful, sad, lonely and exhausted.