You're Not Going To Believe What I'm About To Tell You - The Oatmeal

I read this comic by The Oatmeal, and I loved it so much, I was inspired to create a video out of it.
Turn the sound on and I'll read it to you over gentle music.
This video was created directly from art by The Oatmeal. I own none of it.
www.theoatmeal.com
theoatmeal.com/...
The music is:
"Mesmerize" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons...
SOURCES:
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S WOODEN TEETH:
www.nbcnews.com...
www.mountvernon...
www.history.com...
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S SLAVE TEETH:
www.nytimes.co...
gwpapers.virgin...
gwpapers.virgin...
NAPOLEON'S HEIGHT:
books.google.c...
www.cbsnews.com...
THOMAS CRAPPER:
www.snopes.com/...
content.time.co...
HOUSEFLY LIFESPAN:
web.archive.or...
en.wikipedia.o...
HUMANS IN SPAAAAACE:
www.webcitation...
www.abc.net.au/...
JESUS' BIRTHDAY:
www.ucg.org/th...
www.livescienc...
en.wikipedia.o...
WHO WROTE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE:
www.ushistory.o...
en.wikipedia.o...
boingboing.net/...
ROE V. WADE:
www.heraldcouri...
en.wikipedia.o...
www.u-s-history...