You're the Emotional Punching Bag!

[@ditris69]

NO MORE EGGSHELLS!! NO MORE THE EMOTIONAL PUNCHING BAG!!💯💯💯💯

[@jannlewandowski5540]

The last straw with me was when we went out dancing one night, and I ran into a guy from High School. I even introduced them. My ex narc said he wanted to go outside for some air, and I joined him. When we got outside HE SPAT IN MY FACE! All bcse I spoke to my classmate. Well, I'm an empath, but I'm HUMAN! I SMACKED HIM IN THE FACE SO HARD THAT HE WENT BACKWARDS. He drove me home, I then broke up with him, and he never called me again. This was 11.5 years ago. I lost my temper for the very first and last time with him.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Wow!! Good for you 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻….lucky he didn’t pummel you

[@barbarafordham9185]

I got spat on as well by my narcissistic husband.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

@@barbarafordham9185 Hi, I think that's the Lowest form of battery anyone can commit. That was disgusting! Best wishes to you⚘️

[@tiffanyjohnson1676]

It happens to alot of us. All my love ❤️ ❤️

[@crystallparker9247]

So proud of you standing up against him. My you be blessed and find love you deserve. I am also an empath, can't believe the thing I tolerate.

[@stevephillips4622]

2 years of being her emotional punching bag and constant disrespect. No amount of trying to " convince" her of emotional abuse ever worked. She immediately would dismiss it, get defensive, gaslight me and play the victim. Every. Single. Time. I finally had enough, walked away and have healed and moved on. She has since reached out 3 times, and each time exploding when I stood my ground, as I remain stoic and resolute. She will never get it..even when she proves her toxicity everytime we have an encounter. She sabatoged a good relationship and lost a good man...

[@emma_em_11]

I was a PUNCH BAG AND a DOORMAT… I was BULLIED at school and so I felt OUT of PLACE and PEOPLE PLEASING became a DEFENCE mechanism. THEY KNEW THIS. My mother was someone who HAD MY BACK and TOLD this person OFF when they spoke to me like CRAP! She was MY SHIELD and when she passed away I became a WIDE OPEN TARGET! 🎯 I’m STRONGER than EVER now, so some GOOD has come from this and I have DISCOVERED many things about myself, developed skills and hobbies etc. Thank you. Great video!

[@coolash706]

Same, my siblings always scapegoated me but my mother always protected me. Now she is sick and all siblings went on me but I fought back. I'm the person who is so strong now who is scared of nothing now

[@NikkiGRocks4Ever]

My ex best friend started to be disrespectful, toxic, mean and hateful. When I confronted her about her behavior, she wouldn't modify it. I research her characteristics. I discovered that she is a covert narcissist. Ending the relationship was the best decision I made.

[@morningglory3681]

Psychological, sexual abuse and physical are very emotionally destructive.

[@alysiahite7086]

Yes been through it all.

[@cyndigooch1162]

@@alysiahite7086 Me too! 😥

[@leannimalcrackers]

Me too! We are not alone.

[@kat-75]

I so agree.

[@heatherwiltshire2621]

I have been that punching bag for 21 years and I cant believe I let it happen to me for so long. Inever thought enough about me as my Mum , a narcissist, i now know, made me feel everyone was more important than I was. I have more empathy for others than I do for myself! Oh Boy! and I am 67 and just woken up!

[@rsaug]

Same here, still a punching bag though at 42

[@NikkiGRocks4Ever]

Forgive yourself. The good news is you have the knowledge now. You can be free. You no need to be anyone else's emotional punching bag.

[@Dointhamostcutz]

At least you woke up💪

[@ThePossumone]

Didn’t wake up til I was 61 😢 you are not alone

[@claudine98052]

I rarely have I heard or read codependency explained with such precision and clarity. Thank you.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Glad it was helpful!

[@jillcorsiglia5796]

Ditto thanks Stephanie ❤

[@Foxyfreedom]

I was with a fatherless woman who dumped all of her trauma and her emotional baggage onto me. It was awful

[@PhysicalEntity]

Same. I still feel terrible she got dealt such a crappy hand in life, but I am done trying to help someone who is unable to acknowledge there is any sort of problem, much less take any accountability for literally anything. Time is precious, you have to save yourself

[@girlyghoul]

My dad was a total narc who would explode over nothing. My mom was a passive Stepford wife who never stood up to him and would go about his rages with a serene smile on her face and praise him constantly whenever I balked at his abusive behavior and tried to stand up for her or myself. As a result, I spent WAY too many relationships remaining silent or shrugging off abuse- showing them how much I could take- Like that would somehow lead them to like me more and be nicer? Yeah, I realize that's pretty messed up now. But I'm beyond done being anyone's emotional punching bag.

[@ThePossumone]

I found I was getting so angry, swore at him, broke a stack of plates - just out of character and always after something he did But I still had to work through it and get stronger and not let him affect me DONT ARGUE with them You cannot do conflict or resolve anything

[@GiannaKormondy-f8s]

why did i cry the whole video

[@hermitthefrog8951]

My narc has an infuriating way of speaking that signals that she nearly always expects me to agree with her. She uses phrases like "Don't you think...", "..., right?", and often adds an eyebrow arch to signal what she believes (projects) to be obvious. Often when I don't agree, she likes to point out how all her friends agree with her clearly implication that I'm wrong. NOTE: truth is not a popularity contest.

[@NH-vp6qk]

No one is Gona cal u Weirdo

[@janakay7641]

The narc, especially covert narc, is so incredibly insecure that he/she will interpret anything as an insult or attack. The reaction is so childish it would actually be laughable if it wasn’t so hurtful/violent. My narc backed me into a corner and threatened to “beat the truth out of me”, threw 2 glasses of water in my face and basically called me every name in the book. Why? I made a comment about some beautiful outdoor lighting that he interpreted as a comparison with someone else. This was not his only attack, just the most bizarre . Needless to say, we are not together anymore, but it took me a few years to be able to set my boundaries enough to walk away as the words were coming out of his mouth. It’s no surprise he found someone else immediately. Poor girl.😢 Thank you Stephanie for your powerful work. It’s helped me navigate my self healing journey with grace ❤

[@paulinekabiruh1708]

Very clear lesson taught in this video, thanks for sharing

[@dennisabernathy7513]

With everything you go through and it's alot. it was the emotional abuse that made leave in order to survive! It's gets better with time and no contact!

[@wanderingnomad1]

You’re lucky, same situation here

[@samonecharisma3043]

The description is spot on! Before I was educated on all of the is in would engage and fight back. My ex was such a child. In his verbal abusive rages I would sit there & saw wow I’ve never experienced a person speak so poorly of me & others…it was disgusting to watch. I’m 4months no contact and I can feel my body healing, cortisol levels balancing. This information is so needed thank u

[@annaalm18]

From what I know, Stephanie is not a psychologist. Why is she able to explain everything so much better than my psy? Thank you so much Steph, this was eye-opening!

[@jillcorsiglia5796]

Yes, So helpful and insightful, thanks Stephanie ❤

[@genius3029]

Your videos hit home so painfully. I learn so much each time and while it's been 6 months since my fiance left, I'm still realizing every day, more and more, just how abused I was and how it has wrecked my mental health. One day at a time...

[@ashlove555]

Wishing you peace and healing❤️

[@stephanie_allen]

that must be so painful.... but thank goodness you're seeing you're better without them... I hope you get to the celebration phase soon! 💜

[@---nj7hl]

His Rejection is God's Projection. Remember that. You could have had innocent children w this monster and regretted it. You are Blessed. God will Provide a Godly man. Seek Him; God.

[@leannwiederanders1844]

❤

[@samonecharisma3043]

Continue to heal and lean on god. I understand and sympathize the after realizations are hard to face but we are learning so this NEVER happens again!

[@brendaleverick3655]

I was the emotional punching bag. But, as of today, no more. I'm turning my back and walking away.

[@JN-go2yq]

Re parenting, doing the bubble of safety, taking deep breaths.. I usually am so overwhelmed that my volcano erupts as I let them know how disgusting they are. Of course they then say I have the anger problem 😢

[@alonzomosley7]

My ex started very early with emotional abuse .I was unhappy at the beginning and pulled back ,gradually I started to accept her behaviour ,she was belittling about me and flirted with men in front of me .I really regret not just walking out ,she just wore me out with demeaning me ,she even did it with our children .They had no respect for me at all because she made a complete joke of me .

[@evka24]

She was there to teach u self respect and boundaries

[@rickyscheets9403]

Ditto, Same Here...

[@joannahzamora]

I always thought not being around people because they influence me too much was weakness. Glad to know it's normal to excuse myself from people who are negative and/ or toxic to reparent myself and understand what am I going to do with this person now. Not taking on their emotions either is a big one too.

[@EldritchAnanke]

I don't even know where to start to express what I've lived with but listening to this proved to me I am well and truly far up the path to being fully healed

[@timothyscott3116]

The definition of narcissist seems to describe a majority of humans alive today.. narcissism is almost unavoidable... Unless somebody needs my help, i just kind of keep to myself...

[@alleng9755]

I think fences boundaries make great neighbors. We are in a sea of opportunities for bad and good interactions. I hope you have great ones.

[@vagabon5130]

be careful with people who "need help." thats how they draw u in. if they've figured out what type of person you are, thats their hook.

[@pinkroses135]

Knowing the difference between help and "help" helps lol. If it's a top down victim thing instead of equal humans doing life together, run.

[@salk2555]

This resonates with me. I was slandered today by some losers who were trying to dump and project their insecurities onto me, what they were saying was clearly what they are, not me. I started to believe and accept their rubbish which i was suprised at because theyre not even my type of person I would ever hang out with and people I had told myself I would avoid and never believe. But your video makes why I started to accept their emotional abuse when I shouldn't be make sense.

[@stephanie_allen]

isn't it crazy what can become 'sticky' to us and draw us in, even when we know we don't want anything to do with them? I'm going through that with someone right now - like, you're not even who I want to date... why do I care so much?? But when I keep asking, it always reveals a golden nugget of healing or self awareness. Sorry you were slandered!

[@salk2555]

@@stephanie_allen thank you :). I know, i've come to realise that I tend to focus on what's unwanted and ignore or don't accept what is wanted. I've turned down many guys who are my type, people I would want to be friends with, not accepted their respect and praise, and instead walked towards and dwelled on slanderers, emotional abusers etc. Trying to cross my wires the other way now to only look for and see the good and accept the positive. I think knowing we only deserve respect, love and praise is very important and in accepting it. Wish you all the best

[@JournalMyExperience]

I genuinely & unexpectedly had the BIGGEST laugh ever realising how RIGHT Stephanie is when she says that i have basically put up this kind of behaviour because my standards were really low, nay, inexistent. The bottom line being that these narcissistic relationships that i thought were the foundation of my support system, were in fact made up of people who have such low self-esteem and need an overhaul of values and thorough re-education. I honestly laughed so much. It clicked today after decades of such inexcusable torturous treatment. My heart was aching to have to say goodbye but i never ever imagined that laughter to the ridiculousness of the matter would snap me out of it!

[@happyj0711]

You just perfectly described my childhood. Thank you for sharing.

[@alysiahite7086]

Mine too😳

[@3007liz]

A tsunami hit me just last night. Again. I wish I'd known all this 42 years ago. I would have left. I wouldn't have had my two beautiful children, though. Very sad when you are your husband's and daughter's punching bag. I'm devastated. Complete lost my sense of self. I have to make a very tough decision.💔 I'm watching all your videos, Stephany. Thank you for your guidance. 🙏

[@alleng9755]

The way back to me, by Lisa Ramono, sounds just like your issue. I recommend it. You are not alone

[@3007liz]

@@alleng9755 thank you so much. I'll read it for sure. Much healing and self-love to you all from Argentina.

[@alleng9755]

@@3007liz Lisa had kids a wonderful life all controlled by her husband who never saw her a an individual. She was to not rock the boat. And her family was all controlling so she was on her own. They thought she was crazy for being unhappy.

[@3007liz]

@@alleng9755 Thank you for thinking of me. Although her story may be different from mine, I may be able to gain some valuable insights from her book. Thank you very much.

[@teresaf.6009]

You have a gift in talking about, explaining about and guiding in these types of issues. I find value in listening.

[@a.s.r.3661]

What a great timing for me to watch this video! I just ended a 10 year relationship with an emotionally abusive man who used me as his punching bag and used my knowledge a few times a day. I am a strong person but now am drained emotionally and need to rebuild myself. Thank you for what you do to help people like myself. God bless you!

[@Kavian121509]

This video had me in tears within 5 minutes. I'm 39 years old and just broke free from a very toxic relationship. It's been since Oct 7th... He abused me physically, emotionally and mentally. He tainted me by being spiritual though with manipulation and has me completely mind f'd. I don't know myself at all and he was my daily best friend who I did everything with although I was walking on egg shells everyday. Going through a trauma bond ... I always told him he treated me like his emotional punching bag which was ironic cuz we are both boxing coaches. This is by far the hardest things i've even gone through. My dad (adoptive dad) told me the other night that I have trauma from childhood that caused all this to happed or me allowing it if you will...my biological dad left my mom and me high and dry when i was a baby and she blamed me my whole life for that and said she wished to would've aborted me and was very narcissist and abusive to me. this video is a dead on hit. I have to heal and grow and this is a perfect video to start. Stephanie has been helping me so much.

[@NatalieZii]

I feel for you, but I just want to make sure you know being vulnerable to something or having low standards due to neglect or abuse doesn’t mean you caused it. It just means you were vulnerable and that’s what you can heal. The abuser has full responsibility for being abusive.

[@stinaljungstrom8691]

OMG! So sorry you went through all that!! It sounds like you at least have an adoptive father that sees things clearly. I hope so and that he is a good support for you. Your story made me think of a seed starting it's life in a desert. One day the wind took it to a better place were it started growing into a little flower. It sounds like now is the time to treat it with all the love and care you can find. I'm thinking there was nothing wrong with the seed to begin with, it just could not thrive in that desert. ❤️

[@inquisitive1911]

@Kavian121509 - Wow!! - Boxing coach!! - Great stuff!! - My manager from work emotionally traumatised me last week. Not certain if she is an actual narc or not, but she was unwell and I sent her a get well card. She went and told her manager that I was being romantic to her. It was just a get well card. I got no thanks. Before that, we had a bit of an argument in the workplace. Anyhow, I was scheduled for my boxing class that night with a club that I go to. I had no enthusiasm to hit the bag that night. Some folks think I should have reacted with stress and smacked the bag with some hard punches. I did some sparring, and was just too emotionally drained to do anything right. I don't know what's worse? - Someone so upset that they want to kill the boxing bag, or someone so upset that like me, I had no enthusiasm to even hit the bag.

[@vinguyen143]

You got this

[@lisavansant961]

God bless you honey you are worth so much more than that... I'm sorry for your past hurt... But know this it was not your fault they were responsible for what they did not you you were only a child let it go baby let it go doesn't serve you well

[@craigburch464]

I enabled a verbally abusive woman and I became her emotional punching bag. Demeaning, belittling, passive aggressive, controlling, and I let it all happen because I had low standards. As long as the woman was beautiful, I was all in. I ended up becoming codependent with this woman and relied heavily on her attention for validation. It was awful and so unhealthy. The only thing that saved me was past trauma of my own that got in the way of her being able to completely control me. At first I regretted not healing my past trauma before dating her but in the end, this trauma is what saved me from more abuse. It happened the way it was supposed to and I am grateful she is no longer in my life.

[@buildfireforchrist]

You know my Ex...😂

[@jillcorsiglia5796]

I can relate to what your share. I stayed in an abusive relationship for all the good stuff... He was very handsome We shared the same friends & town. I enjoyed his boating lifestyle and great cooking and great love making❤️ However the price for all of the goodies was disrespect emotional abuse, smear campaigning, and purposeful mean insults and deeds, 😢 all because of his own insecurities jealousy and anger issues he didn't work out before we met. He put his issues in my lap to solve and I spent our whole relationship trying to solve them instead of loving myself. As a love addict codependent I certainly tried to work through his triggers but he was broken and then he broke me 💔😢

[@tommyparkerparker]

I can identify with that. I was on one of my previous jobs by two supervisors.

[@alleng9755]

Ugh NO FUN

[@rainflower5874]

Again, best explanation of the reasons for "hypervigilance".

[@lisalambert81865]

I’ve been an emotional punching bag but I have done it to others as well, from my prospective, I was having a hard time processing or just dealing what was going on around me so I vomited it out on whoever was closest to me, to help me get relief and it wasn’t personal, it wasn’t even that person’s fault, they were just there when it came to a head and I needed to release it. But when you said an adult tantrum it sort of helped see it as such. I did realize that I did this and I apologized to the people that I effected when I did it. Doesn’t make it better for them me apologizing but I hope it helped to know it wasn’t them. I work on that and other behaviors much more now, healing from a extremely dysfunctional and narcissistic family life and the things that followed.

[@jeseniagalindez9120]

Wow that’s so admirable that you are making positive changes

[@Jen-qt6eg]

It's admirable you realized and admitted to: 1. Vomiting it out on whoever was close to you. 2. Apologizing for hurting them, from your adult tantrums. 3. Learning and Correcting.

[@lisalambert81865]

@@jeseniagalindez9120 Thank you, I was tried of living in the way I was taught.

[@lisalambert81865]

@@Jen-qt6eg Thank you! Self reflection isn’t easy but I believe necessary, cause the change can only start with yourself.

[@carolyndavasligil1388]

No excuse for projecting your hurt on to others.

[@matthewwozniak9138]

You're always spot on.👍

[@elizabethwhalley4225]

Hey Steph, I just wanted to say thank you!! I didn’t understand what was going on when I was in the narc-fog & ALL of your videos are on point! You talk it through, make us understand, educate & inform & have helped soooo so much in the healing process. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I didn’t have anyone that I could talk to about this…. You have been a total lifeline. Truly, it’s unbelievable that you put up such helpful FREE content-I’m going to do your self parenting course. …. You are the best! I, like so many of your followers would be lost without you - I appreciate you so much! 🙏🏼 Thank you keep up the good work 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

[@karlamatsuda6062]

Great teaching, Steph! You’re beautiful from the inside out and a gifted person from God! ❤

[@DartmoorPaul]

Thank you, Stephanie. You always help me validate how I am feeling and help with ways of healing that fill in the gaps between my therapy sessions. My mum is 85 and I’m 54 and after what I now know was a lifetime of abuse I went no contact in December. But when that happened I realised that there was no ME, I had no sense of self, I enjoy nothing, find no emotion in anything and feel utterly dead on the inside. In the past with mum her rage was so intense if I even tried to have a boundary that I would just cave in just to stop the abuse. For other reasons I need to be strong with “low contact” and you videos on how to put in boundaries and handle a narcissistic person are really really helpful and this Friday I am meeting mum and my golden child brother for the first time. It will be in public and I have my boundaries ready, my disengagement plan and exit strategy. All thanks to you ❤️🙏

[@mylesmoore9259]

Thank you so much for this. Having a very hard time with detaching from the insults and demoralization. This morning she told my son to stay away from the monster... that one hurt big time

[@zartan-1975]

Makes sense! Thank you!

[@christinavolpe879]

My mother was my first narcissist experience. Teaching me no boundaries, validation from others and lack of control in my own life. It wasn’t until 25 years later experiencing leaving my second narc/toxic marriage speaking with my pastor what free will is. I never thought I was one who had that until that conversation and his frustration. I also learned what boundaries are and that it was okay to live my life for me. At 44 was the first in my life that I knew it was ok to live for me. I lost everything including retirement trying to make my partners happy. Starting completely over from scratch with boundaries and power over my my life. It is crazy what parents can do so early on to sabotage future choices and what os accepted. It got to a point with my second marriage that he didn’t have to ask I would immediately accommodate his happiness and needs while taking from myself. My second marriage was with a true narcissist who enjoyed hurting me.

[@alleng9755]

I'm really happy to hear you open up the description of childhood issues because I always felt I didn't fit the conversation. So mom was in and out of the hospital and dad was always working. When they home it was pleasant even nice. But shallow and I have been stumbling through relationships trying to figure it out

[@karenmininni4962]

This is such an excellent video about the emotional dynamics we encounter I need to watch it again and again.

[@CraigYounker]

Thank you so much for helping me heal, and please keep creating great content!

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

TY!

[@Red-Iceberg]

My ex narc slapped me hard across my face. I still wonder why, but I called police had him incarcerated told states attorney Keep him there forever.

[@Simplicityandkindness]

Studying stoicism has really helped me as well,not to be so reactive. Type in stoicism into KZbin and it will also teach you how to be more resilient and stand in your own power and rational thinking and focuses on virtue. I have found myself again. And yes re parenting ourselves is So important. You develop an inner security that no one can shake. The way of looking at someone who is picking a fight as an exercise in self control and self mastery puts the control back in your own hand.

[@rickyscheets9403]

🌜Stephanie You Are The Best 🌛

[@mrrobert6173]

Thank You Stephanie. Your a smart lady. And I thank GOD for you and your KZbin Videos. Your a good woman with a kind heart. A sweetheart. And just so you know… You have helped me more than you will ever know with your KZbin Videos. Thank You Heavenly Father. And thank you Jesus. For this woman who is a Blessing to all of us who were used and verbally abused and emotionally abused by a manipulative and deceitful narcissist. GOD IS GOOD. And Jesus Is Lord. ❤️🙏✝️

[@bonniehafeman9757]

But if you're enemy is hungry...feeding them.. Thanks again.Beautiful message. Amen.

[@christelnielandt5117]

Feel so grateful for your videos 🙏🙏🙏💛🌻

[@KarenSteelMusic]

My sibling is accusing me of horrible crimes over money. He has manipulated my mother, and attempting to lie to a judge. Underneath it all is his inability to accept his own failures and is blaming for all of this. He is attempting to take all monies and kicking me out of my house. We are in court now - he is wanting to destroy me- this is the truth. Doesn’t care if I die. Any suggestions?😢

[@kittykat632]

Honestly i know I can have a strong opinion on certain subjects and was known as a strong-willed independent child so when these conflicts arise I have to take each one as they come and handle them differently. Sometimes I'm a little more quiet and thinking things through my head. Other times I am more quick how I'm feeling and setting boundaries. And at the very least I can be pretty passive if it doesn't make a difference to me

[@laurasoriano8395]

So true yes that's me thanks for your help

[@galina536]

Hi, I'm 61 years old and I have a 41-year-old narcissist, I'm not in a relationship with him, he poisoned my relationship with my daughter, his sister, he has a wife and a 3-year-old son, and I see how he ruins their lives, I'm also a little afraid of him , regarding the future, what can I do?

[@terribenhart-ww5fp]

This video really hits home for me. I'm working on this everyday. Not letting others moods affect me and bring me down or upset me and speaking up when they do.

[@BCHODOSH01]

Stephanie, wonderful video with excellent information. I have lived through this stuff, and can vouch for what you are saying to us. Learning to detach, set and enforce boundaries, build that bubble around you are not easy, especially if you are an Empath, people pleaser, or co-dependent . It took me a long time to realize the childhood trauma i was subjected to, and how that has effected my relationships throughout my life. I will not be a punching bag for anyone anymore. If you don't respect me and treat me right, then don't let the door hit you on the way out! Thanks again, and i look forward to your next video.

[@alysiahite7086]

I am stopping this with my daughter. Iam putting up a mental metal shield with her and I tell her that she is taking out her crap on me and I am not putting up with it. I think it happens with senior adults.

[@NFSMAN50]

Stephanie you are a mind reader, you knew everything how I feel. I was just thinking about this a few days ago, I was the punching bag growing up and now I'm realizing this. Happy Tuesday Stephanie, appreciate you ❤️❤️

[@pardist]

For me betrayal is the last straw but I think the next time the first indiscretion is going to be enough. It's hard when you have feelings. I'm too patient but learning to be less patient.

[@oliverrojas3185]

Thanks!

[@danrey5336]

Yeah they be punching me all the time it hurts

[@Laura-AnneMusika]

Thank you for all of your Help😁

[@jeseniagalindez9120]

It was a powerful video

[@nahalghaderi8834]

Thanks for your words. Really true.

[@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr]

♥️Stephanie♥️thank you♥️♥️

[@TheViolettowne]

That was very clear and usable. Lot's of wisdom. I am on track.

[@douglasmiller1212]

Thank you for your videos. I wish I'd found them a couple years ago, early in my relationship with someone who is on the narcissistic spectrum. I just thought they had perplexing behavior and I got used to the body blows.

[@joynkindness]

Thank God that God doesn't see us all as emotional abusers when we reach out to him when we are suffering. M arr

[@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr]

♥️Stephanie ♥️thank you ♥️wonderful videos ♥️I see you lift our spirit♥️

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

You are so welcome

[@kessaann7782]

Very helpful information. Thank you for this video 🙏🙂

[@Jesuscristorey-777]

Helpful to me very much

[@marycampeau9378]

This was an awesome video that I will probably watch a couple more times

[@rachelarmel7547]

Thank you Stephanie..this is exactly what I needed to hear today. I can't thank you enough for this video. Awesome explanation. Your insights and teachings are the absolute best!! So incredibly helpful. 💗

[@justinshelton8175]

Thank you.

[@aklev5745]

Thank you ❤

[@jonathanvermillion7263]

I have so much rage please help me before something happens

[@laytonmcguire3552]

Two very great subjects

[@twillu5193]

When my significant other starts to use me as her emotional punching bag, I will usually try and get away from the conversation. I tell her that I'm not going to stay in a conversation where she is being rude, irritable or demeaning. She tells me that "I am running away" , and references what a marriage counselor once told me, "you need to stay and validate her". I'm not sure what the right answer is, because I don't feel like I should have to put up with a toxic situation, but supposedly I need to validate her when she's upset with me, or with anything?

[@stephanie_allen]

Yikes, sounds like something I've been through myself, no fun i'm sorry. I can relate to both sides - yours and hers. My experience being her and needing that validation? I would say it's on her to get to know her needs and what's triggering her and learn a healthier way to respond as being hurtful to you is not ok. But that will require some maturity and willingness on her end.. not sure where she ranks on this spectrum. My experience on your side? Sometimes when I give them what they need to help their nervous system calm down it is helpful and diffuses the energy so a conversation can happen. Other times, it doesn't make a dent. It's an act of love and kindness to see their wound and be able to help where you can (with validating), though that depends on what kind of validating... like, she needs to be told she's right all the time?? lol But you're human and you won't be able to do that all the time and she needs to be able to sooth herself. That's maturity. Good luck! I feel you!

[@cyndigooch1162]

twillu5 It seems to me that you have every right to walk away and it's often best to do so, for your sanity! I hope you'll be able to keep walking eventually, if possible. ❤

[@twillu5193]

@@stephanie_allen - Thanks so much for your response. Your wise words are just what I needed. My wife came from a verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive home with a very narcissistic step father. She felt like she always had to fight and fight for her voice to be heard. I think she never learned to self soothe, and unfortunately, I feel like she picked up some really bad traits from him. I, on the other hand, was the middle of 5 children, and always tried to play the peacemaker by making sure everyone else's needs were met before mine. I never learned to set good boundaries, or how to handle conflict well. I shut down... We've been married for 11 years and it's been a rough go. We have 3 beautiful children that we have continued to try and make the marriage work for. However, we aren't seeing improvements to our marriage even after marriage counseling. We are considering separation - mostly being pushed by her. Being the co-dependent that I am, I feel my main value as a person is being the provider for my family, and I'm struggling. I feel like I don't have an identity without them, but now I'm faced with the prospect of a broken marriage and a broken home.

[@twillu5193]

@@cyndigooch1162 Thanks Cyndi! I appreciate the validation.

[@NH-vp6qk]

Therapist succeeded she blamed u She didn’t realy figure out the two sides of the story

[@danitaoliver264]

Thank You, Stephanie......you speak so much Truth, I'd love to do some Coaching with you. Please let us know when you have some SPECIALS!!!!!♡♡

[@judyclark356]

Thank you

[@swissms5808]

Very Well Said !! 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼

[@jerolyn37]

Thank you!!!

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

You're welcome!

[@DianeCarroll111]

Fantastic 🤍

[@carolinejoseph4068]

Thank you so much because I have someone trying to do that to me your amazing person 💗 for letting me see and understand this

[@niconico4114]

thanks. so helpful.

[@asdeathstroke.4417]

I’ve been living with a narcissistic father for a long time I’m just about to graduate high school in 9 months I’ve been my dad’s emotional punching bag bag ever since I was born but he recently got diagnosed with kidney failure and moderate dementia I just had had a fight with him tonight over something as dumb as asking what’s for dinner and I’ve put up boundaries every since I was a kid but he’s push them down at every turn and finally I just lost it and went after him feeling like I could have have a chance at getting him back and I said to him that he only has a few years left and I hope he passes away from it and he suddenly just stopped talking for once i finally got what I’ve wanted for so long a chance for him to understand to stop treating me like this but I don’t know if that’s really what I should have done being as tho I’m an empath I’m kinda I’m just laying down on my bed just thinking about if it was actually worth it for him to actually not say anything back was it worth it to punish him that badly for treating me like an absolute waste of a human being

[@trrahr5496]

❤

[@katy525]

Thank You Stephanie for sharing your insight and knowledge that I can use on a daily walk in Life❤❤❤xoxoxo Greg ❤❤❤

[@naturelover1284]

mrs fred flinstone got married for a living and made more of herself for a good living....and now its self righteous stance approaches us like a child , her spouse or another complaining wife who lives through others, and gets to insult us because it is so normal. and thank you supreme court for keeping it that way so big business can profit off of this mentality

[@danaschafer5699]

I have to wait until we go to our counceling session, because my narc cant be reasoned with.

[@sharonramirez8014]

I was just told that I'm as guilty as the person who dismissed 12 hours of hard work by reminding me I'm disabled because I yelled louder 😳 yip he yelled I know I'm out of line but I'm so tired of her but defending myself louder makes me just as bad, I guess

[@Corrinthian_]

very well done.

[@novablast1695]

It might sound weird but its how it is with guys in my school (boys school). There is a guy who says sexual/racist stuff to me, ik hes just joking cuz thats what the culture is in my school. Even I do sometimes. But the thing is he does it so much that it really effects my thoughts, I never was insecure about my color of skin but lately I cant stop comparing myself to people who have darker skin color than my like a fool. It doesnt help the fact that when I tried to talk about this to my "friend" he just says that I had many dark skinned friends and they didnt talk about it like that so its weird that I do. He gaslights me that he isnt racist but really is just lying. Im so done rn I just want to go to sleep

[@ryuhayabusa5222]

I learned to Guard my heart thank God for his Holy Spirit indwelling Jesus is also r counselor comforter my everything yur videos are such a blessing u spell n sift it out so I can understand to grow n change I always forgive but with a narc it does not meant reconcile when they just use u on so many levels so draining learning to put up boundaries and if someone is disrespectful of me I went no contact they need to carry their own cross took my peace away they use u as a therapist n every possible way they can hard to understand how being mean to others makes them feel better after they dumped a ton of their negativity on u we r responsible to regulate r emotions n have boundaries God gives us free will we have a choice thanks for all ur helpful knowledge with wisdom

[@shelleykaygrant2730]

Great Video 👍

[@joynkindness]

High standards gets people rejected. Lived it for decades. M arr

[@simplyone200]

I am in sort of being put in uncomfortable situations all the time, i dont know what to do

[@johnsmith-rd3zx]

people think im crazy for thinking witchcraft is real but it is real everyone is a witch because everyone takes the words of the bible and puts them into actions with both blessings and curses

[@joblo6394]

ugh it suucks …glad I’m out but why not sooner 😣