“All metallic dragons are prime spouse material” as someone who listens to Unprepared Casters, this take doesn’t surprise me at all lmao
@SleepyCheshire2 жыл бұрын
"would he *murder* me at any point in the marriage?" the bar for a D&D monster partner is so low 😔
@ceemccormack91112 жыл бұрын
This has huge BDG/Unraveled vibes and I love it so much
@LaceworkDreams10 ай бұрын
I imagine this as banter around a campfire
@Lolbitdrangonmaster6 ай бұрын
Brian David Gilbert reference let's go!
@tjnova9722 жыл бұрын
Things I learned from this video: 1. Haley ✍️ has ✍️ a ✍️ thing ✍️ for ✍️beholders. 2 Haley is engaged
@Azazelea16 күн бұрын
Haley and the Crawling Claw are so great together 🥰
@woopsforgotadam73222 жыл бұрын
my favorite parts are the parts where one option is so passionate and gets placed immediately and then the horror on your face when you remember the other two options. 10/10 love it
@stanconnorstan42662 жыл бұрын
"This hand and I are getting MARRIED. And we're going to be HAPPY together."
@codygilbert2302 Жыл бұрын
"Nutty Buddy Box" is another good phrase for fmk.
@drippyspaff7616 Жыл бұрын
There once was a bard on the horn Who happened upon a Zorn He denies they conspired But nine months transpired And his new darling daughter was born!
@becauseimafan4 ай бұрын
😂😂
@Jesse0Lucas2 жыл бұрын
This is amazing but I also love the "well it's dnd so I just assume if they speak a language I can magic my way into communicating" vs "well, they live underwater but I can't breathe there sooo"
@josiahnisly52402 жыл бұрын
“The couatl doesn’t have enough limbs.” “The xorn has too many limbs”
@kailunartic66472 жыл бұрын
Marrying the mono-drone gives me the same energy as being married to your *spicy* electric “toothbrush”
@jeremylackey6587 Жыл бұрын
It has ONE JOB and it's very good at it
@blinkfilms18 ай бұрын
this and the baldurs gate video combined give a great picture of where specifically haley falls on the monsterfucker scale
@voidaspects91737 ай бұрын
Surprisingly low, all things considered, which honestly makes it funnier
@ryanhenry76472 жыл бұрын
imagine asking a crawling claw for its hand in marriage
@Ezekiel_Allium Жыл бұрын
I love watching videos like these because it's a humbling experience, y'know? You get comfortable after a while, start thinking you're normal. Keeps you grounded. Reminds you the Maticore isn't an obvious fuck for everybody, and that "scary looking" is actually a negative, not a bonus to most.
@Mewobiba6 ай бұрын
Look, I'm a monster fucker like any other, but if there is *one* monster I wouldn't boink it's the manticore.
@OneTimeLiteracy5 ай бұрын
My EXACT sentiment when she sincerely called the manticore "too scary" 😔
@vd24852 жыл бұрын
New challenge: take all the monsters you put in the marriage category & play this game with just them Worse challenge: do this with the slain beasts
@becauseimafan4 ай бұрын
😆😂
@spuddringtontatortot73482 жыл бұрын
5:00 in the immortal words of Adam Savage: “The only difference between science and goofing around is writing it down”
@MsFeyCreature Жыл бұрын
Just got on the Whipjack train today and I respect how much of your content consists of performing unethical psychological experiments on yourself.
@flamingfurret30372 жыл бұрын
honestly a good portion of the monsters in the monster manual are fckable like a surprising amount
@TheDuckOfManyThings2 жыл бұрын
I cannot believe how often we disagreed, but it told me more about myself than I ever wished to know. Thanks for that.
@PrincessMihai Жыл бұрын
"Maybe they're cool! I've consulted the book; they're *not* cool" 😂😂😂 This is why I love you so much, Whipjack. You are amazing 😂
@stanconnorstan42662 жыл бұрын
The fact this video is over an hour long and I'd been laughing continuously through the first 12 minutes means this is going to be a personal favorite
@aval1na2810 ай бұрын
I love how the ground rules include the fact that as long as something understands a language you can do magic about it, but we're just ignoring the fact that potions of water breathing exist the whole time
@tjcarr98812 жыл бұрын
Psuedodragon on the bottom because small dragon immediately after marrying the faerie dragon fucking sent me
@joelwriter95832 жыл бұрын
I think it’s funny that you are a bard but won’t spend any spell slots to breath underwater, fire resistance, etc.
@DenvaProbablyDraws9 ай бұрын
She spent all her spell slots on charm person
@plushdragonteddy Жыл бұрын
this video genuinely sent me off on the thought train of how to make a marriage work with a succubus. like, "oh, well we can just have a polyamorous and/or open relationship where we get certain needs met elsewhere, but we can still love each other and communicate! i imagine the succubus will also want an additional partner because it's not like she's getting her needs met from what she does, right? it's not like she's doing it to have fun, she's trying to gain sustenance. she's a sex worker is what i'm saying. really what is sex work other than having sex as a food source but with more steps and less soul-stealing?" and then of course that would mean the claw would go in the penthouse. i have only one thing to say about that: what that hand do?
@CDN_Bookmouse Жыл бұрын
Words to live by: if you have the opportunity to marry a metallic dragon, you BETTER put a ring on it.
@drewkline54232 жыл бұрын
In watching this, I learned that I have some very weird hills to die on-- including that cyclopses get the pit. They know what they did
@darkmaterial499 Жыл бұрын
Question: Do you have to actually fight the ones you say you'll kill, or do they just drop dead, because that seems like a very important detail that would change my answers drastically.
@becauseimafan4 ай бұрын
Y'know, you're right! 😂
@pleaseforgetme49852 жыл бұрын
I think we all learned a very important thing today Haley gives a convening amount of thought into hands
@charlesmccallie7402 Жыл бұрын
My favorite thing about any Haley video is the big "Is she okay?" energy she gives off.
@HM9092 жыл бұрын
the joy? when I saw this video was out? Unparalleled. Unprecedented. Sleeptime listening handled for the next three weeks I think. Then back to old verbs compones.
@haleywhipjack2 жыл бұрын
cannot explain how much it means to me that i am someone's nighttime comfort audio
@mayas3422 Жыл бұрын
now i want to play a wizard that was power-of-love'd out of being a nothic
@Sol_Mooney Жыл бұрын
Truly the hunger games of "I can fix him" candidates
@elivoshell88732 жыл бұрын
Love the video!! We love to realize how fckable things can be in the right circumstances. Also for future videos I think it would be good to boost the audio volume by about 45%!
@haleywhipjack2 жыл бұрын
good to know, thank you!
@haydenrogers23029 ай бұрын
19:16 Baldur's Gate 3 has aged this section well
@tjcarr98812 жыл бұрын
The energy this entire video was immaculate 10/10 This and the Ice Age video had me laughing the entire time, love the energy, love the vibes (and love the podcast)
@nathanmatthews72962 жыл бұрын
I think the part of haley that refused the flameskull was also aster on her shoulder being petty and annoyed by what happened to him
@tjcarr98812 жыл бұрын
The change in part 2 about dragons being fine even if they don't shapeshift is such a vibe
@Mewobiba6 ай бұрын
I think the one you lost is the Aboleth, whose absense I noted only because it's the best monster ever.
@teradul24802 жыл бұрын
22:00 "Hands are a necessary component for the top category" I beg to differ, and so would InCase in what I believe is chapter 10 of Alfie, Aka, Voroni night. Also, snake with wings would have MAD cuddles I wouldn't pass up.
@johnhaynes72852 жыл бұрын
Truly life changing content. The absolute pinnacle of (fmk) listings! Bravo all the way around
@SquartGlobzo8 ай бұрын
I have watched this video several times and on none of those occasions have I played along. I just really love listening to you talk.
@tabbycat10142 жыл бұрын
I’m about halfway through the video now but the way you just lost your mind by the time you got to the crawling claw had me in stitches 😂😂😂
@buglamps12906 ай бұрын
“And The Spector. Which is different from a ghost because it’s.. purple 🙂”
@Nathan-ej3bk2 жыл бұрын
You know what we learned today? That our ideas of what is fuckable is entirely different, and I may need to consider raising my standards one day. Not today, but one day.
@tabbycat10142 жыл бұрын
“I’m sure I had a good reason at the time” for the only decision you didn’t explain at all 😂
@Daynx89 Жыл бұрын
"Sometimes the Nutty Butty box gives you a break"
@luciancarpenter59182 жыл бұрын
The unicorn kids are celestial patron warlocks, and spells are their allowance.
@oddbirdMusic Жыл бұрын
I'm surprised at how many undead you let through, because that just can't be sanitary -- but of them all, you consistently skipped all the undead that happened to be high level wizards. They can shapeshift, control matter, make magic items, and do all kinds of things to your senses -- if undeath and touch attacks aren't a hard no, what's wrong with a (demi/draco)lich? Maybe you can be the living caretaker/heir of their scary tower or whatever, if you put a ring on them. Also, one thing I love about the older DnD monster manuals, is that they include an entire section just for ecology stuff and what kinds of interesting stuff wizards could make out of the monster's bits. Sometimes you need to know that they nest in pairs with 2d4 nestlings, or that fairy dragons love apple pie, or that the mucous can be refined into potions of water breathing. I'm also a little surprised that you decided "we can use magic to talk", but didn't go for rings of fire protection. There's plenty of creatures that successfully crossbreed with fire elementals, so there's ways to survive it in reasonable health.
@BeanAgain11 ай бұрын
imagine someday in the future this is the only remaining record of the DnD monsters
@seleneshofner91769 ай бұрын
A year later, I wonder just how many of us have snogged or snagged a mind flayer.
@yungoldman2823 Жыл бұрын
I love your vibe and I love that you clearly play/or enjoy the concept of dnd!
@TheCyberchickz8 ай бұрын
Couatl has Change Shape, so I don’t think the snake thing would be a problem. I would’ve married him.
@katfoxwell3995 Жыл бұрын
When I need some tavern stories for my players to overhear I will come back here. Honestly, I am very into the Beauty and the Beast style romance with the nothic. Or a story about a knight who embraced a will-o-wisp, sounds bittersweet, I like it.
@Calintares Жыл бұрын
Bed, wed, behead
@friskybitzboi8 ай бұрын
The Chimera, Rakshasa, and Mindflayer was the easiest- BG3 already decided one for me
@charlesashton37579 ай бұрын
I love that we have this collective hatred for Onis just because of one character from one Podcast. Justice for Mollymauk, long may he reign.
@hannahh.41922 жыл бұрын
This. This right here is my comfort human
@truluv6662 жыл бұрын
What a wild ride! FMKs should be a new self reflection tool
@toria3421 Жыл бұрын
This is my new favorite KZbin video ever
@mattrobinson54792 жыл бұрын
Huge BDG vibes and I love it
@roanaway6 ай бұрын
At some point I started thinking of of this you randomly collecting a harem, and honestly I feel like you acquired a pretty good harem
@hearthyager86826 ай бұрын
I truly lost it at the intellect devourer reveal
@Aisubun5 ай бұрын
The Nothic section was literally "I can fix him" LMAO
@kbar44629 ай бұрын
This is amazingly entertaining lol
@itsvaleriee4 ай бұрын
the crawling claw could also give the family owlbear some really good head scritches, which is important
@TombstoneToons6 ай бұрын
Your videos are such a delight. Never change. ❤
@ELVINMAGICMAN9 ай бұрын
we just fought a Vrock (@30:55)! They drip spores! Smash!
@markc.79849 ай бұрын
I watched this entire thing, and I don't know why.
@violetsanddragons2 жыл бұрын
Hey the cyclops in castle crashers is LOYAL to his boyfriend and that is the kind of commitment you deserve.
@Evelyn-rb1zjАй бұрын
Let's be honest the behir probably just fights wyrmling (and maybe young) dragons and brags that they killed a dragon
@Aprion9 ай бұрын
the spectator and the beholder are pretty chill. they just wanna watch as you get your freak on with one of the others up there.
@norriec63232 жыл бұрын
Watching this while cleaning but when I rewatch I'll play the home game
@norriec63232 жыл бұрын
HERE WE GO
@norriec63232 жыл бұрын
Part 1: F Saytr M Vine Blight K Cyclops F Weird M Drider K Incubus F Cloaker M Weretiger K Goristro F Planatar M Deathknight K Ogre F Spectator M Monodrone K Quasit F Bulliwug M Beholder K Hook Horror F Chuul M Bugbear K Slaad F Manticore M Orc K Ettin F Marid M Jackalwere K Otyugh F Mind Flayer M Rakshasa K Chimera F Giant M Dragon K Marilith I refuse to justify any of these
@SeaShellvids2 жыл бұрын
Oh Haley, oh no on being one short XD
@DireZyre2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely perfect and incredible video as always Haley, please keep up the good work!! (but also please turn up your volume going forward, this video is very quiet compared to most others on youtube)
@UltimateKyuubiFox6 ай бұрын
This was a life-altering experience.
@shannonnonnon2 жыл бұрын
If there's a person here who doesn't belong to the Unprepared Casters fandom OR follow Haley on TikTok, could you please tell me how you ended up here?
@WormmDad2 жыл бұрын
The amount of effort and time spent on this video, all for regrets of 66% of the choices. I love it. Great content
@HalfbloodHighprince Жыл бұрын
50:55 Fun fact. Despite a 20 INT Demilich stat block has no languages. So they fail the Harkness test
@HumbleDuckM93 ай бұрын
I'd so funny to see a video marry, makeout, murder but its for every npc on critcal role
@stonferen5848 ай бұрын
Animal friendship fails on creatures with an inteligence of 4 or more so I would argue thats the minimum line to draw forthe "of humab or greater inteligence" part of the Harkness test
@lulamonk45352 жыл бұрын
this is genuinely my favorite video to ever exist on the internet
@marleighflowers40786 ай бұрын
love watching this in the era after bg3 i know the mindflayer ranking would be different!!!
@Mollymauking Жыл бұрын
i have never in my life heard so many synonyms. love it
@gimlym66419 ай бұрын
Honestly I so *strongly* agree with your stance on FMK vs. Smash or Pass.
@Nexusofgeek2 жыл бұрын
The Harkness test would have been a problem for Neelix from ST Voyager LOL. And yes the kobold would make a great provider, they are very organized creatures
@nerdherder93402 жыл бұрын
The rakshaka backwards hands are, at least to my understanding, a left/right flip
@jeremylackey6587 Жыл бұрын
Flipped 180°, the palms are where the back of your hands are
@joegappa937 Жыл бұрын
Despite the metric ass-load of incorrect info, I absolutely love this video. It's so beautiful
@pupstarproduction15 Жыл бұрын
Omg i love this idea and I have not even seen the video till the end
@brazzle74422 жыл бұрын
Amazing job Haley, going on the list of favorite long ass videos
@joelwriter95832 жыл бұрын
I was so confused why the heart had a ball-gag but that’s a ring 😭😳😅
@colinmott84382 жыл бұрын
This was gold
@aspenmavera9904 Жыл бұрын
I still think we should have a part two
@collinw97922 жыл бұрын
I've watched part of this, now I must sleep, will finish in the morning
@EndertheDragon0922 Жыл бұрын
I don’t think the death slaad can involve you in the horrible slaad reproductive cycle. I think that’s only red, blue, and _maybe_ green. Been a while since I looked at them though. Why’d you kill the coatl, they’re endangered :( also they can shapeshift so they can have hands! “There is an entire D&D adventure about why you shouldn’t wanna marry a vampire, but like… what if I could change him?” I’ve played through that module multiple times and have learned absolutely nothing. Their fault for making Strahd hot tbh
@CianDelano2 жыл бұрын
... so what if... you made a Reborn Bard... who had gone through the cycle a crazy number of times... and each of these Trio's are highlights of each of lives.... Too bad about that one card going missing though D=
@saleah4368 Жыл бұрын
as a monster fucker (derogatory) this was a very fun video
@mothysjar Жыл бұрын
tbh i would marry a bugbear purely because of one captain kp hob from dimension 20
@Mosspooky2 жыл бұрын
Yes I watched through the whole thing Hayley don't you know I love you You can spend hours talking about anything and I WILL watch it