Your Money Questions Answered!

Today I am talking about marriage and money. We are covering a bunch of personal finance questions including what to do when one person makes more, how and and if to budget, and retirement planning! I hope you love it!
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[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

In today’s video I call out a particular financial guru that many of you like. I’m happy for any positive impact he may have had. But overall I find him to be problematic. Here’s a video for more on that. Cheers! kzbin.info/www/bejne/gp2ZhJeEratnfdksi=ZIx1LBI02JY0J6_8

[@inkyfingeredcat]

I was curious about your reasoning for this so followed the link and watched the video and learnt stuff I wasn’t aware of … very interesting. I must admit I find his shaming and ‘sensationalist’ way of dealing with callers that I see via instagram awful but hadn’t thought too hard about it. Suffice it to say now unfollowed!

[@Benasboysandgirl]

So many great nuggets in this one! For many years my husband worked and I worked at home taking care of our kids. We had a singleton and then two sets of twins 3 years apart. It was never about whose paycheck it was. We shared that one goal, of raising our family as best we could. So much happiness depends on clear communication of expectations and unity around common goals. Thank you for this!

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Honestly, Bena, when these issues are a major problem at home I think it's MORE than just the pay inequity. And yes, I stayed home when we had our twins too because that childcare bill was NONSENSE ON A STICK. Those five years were tough financially but if anything, Scott felt I was contributing MORE to our family, not less. Great comment.

[@lorieldridge7366]

Put all your money together in one account. Married, you don’t “split” bills by percentage. I’m the same as the CPA/ teacher scenario. I’m an ICU RN/ he’s a granite & marble lead installer (union). Same split 65/35. Just put it together and have a good life.

[@lcflngn]

“Good luck is preparedness meeting opportunity.” Beautiful! Before I retired I advised college students, & my favorite career theory was called “planned happenstance.” Basically the same idea ;) I fell down a hole myself 1 1/2 yrs ago when I retired. Maybe it’s that I’ve always been a good worker, but a terrible self-motivator, & maybe more it was pandemic exhaustion from my crazy job, but I’m only just thinking about getting back on my feet. Definitely agree that daily purpose is very important! Just haven’t figured out what that means for me. Thx for the motivation Jen! Re marriage & money, we’re terribly disorganized & trying to be better. Getting a trust etc in order soon…. It’s long been super useful to be a unit, with combined everything. I know not all folks do that, but dang it’s easy…

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

2024 we are determined to finalize all those things. Our current will names who will get our kids if we both die at the same time and at 24, 24 and 27 obviously that is . . not needed.

[@Ollie-belovedogever]

Thank you Jen. This is once again a great video. More power and God’s Blessing be with you and your family always. ❤

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Well thank you so much!!!!!!

[@malloryconnor4550]

Thank you for this. My parents are older and is kids are trying to get them to set up online banking for the exact reasons you pointed out. This has required a lot of delicate conversations.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

You’re doing the Lords work out there, Mallory! Hang in there!!!

[@theresamaida5826]

Agree on Dave Ramsey. Total meh. 😏

[@EricMobley1]

OMG Thank you for calling out Dave Ramsey LOL

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

We spent a lot of years following his advice and I regret it deeply

[@ashleygardner778]

I, too, enjoyed the Dave Ramsey call out. 😂

[@KittyMeowWow]

Yep!! Cannot stand this guy tbh and so glad someone said this.

[@millie4806]

Jen thank you for this conversation, we are the same how we budget and I will tell you to have a $amount for each of us to spend without question have works wonders !!

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Right?! That was a game changer for us!! A little freedom goes a long way!

[@vickiemendoza9252]

This video was so good! XX

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Thank you so much, Vickie!! That keeps me going!

[@ctrawick3]

Dave is the man and has a tremendous amount of wisdom. A great track record, too.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Thanks for watching!

[@lorieldridge7366]

He’s rude

[@nancygreenstreet5956]

Hi Jen! I have a question but not related to this vlog. I know you are using Jones makeup products. I have been looking at them for awhile now trying to decide if they are “all that”. What is your opinion of them? I ask as I know you will provide your honest opinion. Thank you!

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

I ended up not using the Miracle Balm much at all but I do really like the WTF foundation and the face pencil. I'll be ordering more of each when they run out!

[@nancygreenstreet5956]

@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge Thanks so much! The WTF is what I planned to order.

[@nicolef9456]

I grew up in a household where it was always clear whose money it was. My boomer mom always reinforced “have your own money, don’t rely on them ever, you need an escape route at all times.”

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

That makes me sad for a lot of reasons. Although I do agree with your mom that women should have the ability to be financially independent. Those “trad wives” are either stupid or just ill informed.

[@nicolef9456]

@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforgeI will never forget hearing my dad yell about “my money”. Kids notice and it impacts them how their parents talk about money.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

From the sound of your comment, though, you're out there breaking generational cycles. Well done and keep up the good fight. It's so worth it!@@nicolef9456

[@MommaMZreece]

Retired from teaching at age 58 I have found volunteering in an area that I love has helped me feel my days have purpose still but also frees me up to help with grandchild and travel. I miss my kindergartens but feel much more relaxed.

[@Jimmy-Mc]

Always love to see someone who opposed Dave Ramsey.

[@cf1137]

Have you read Die with Zero by Bill Perkins? It's been a game changer for us thinking about money, work and retirement planning. Highly recommend.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

I will check it out! Thank you

[@emilyjohannes7007]

The hubs and I do some separate trips each year, and some together. Our families think it’s strange, but we love it! We each feel personally fulfilled. It also gives us lots to talk about! Life would be boring if we did all the same stuff together. Thanks for the validation, Jen!

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Oh my gosh so true!! When we get back from our adventures we chat about them for months!!

[@snycity]

Loved this video... I think the most important thing regarding all you talked about is the sense of partnership that needs to exist. My husband and I have always viewed ourselves as being on the same team, and it helps us deal with almost all of the topics you covered. Just the trust that exists knowing you have somebody's back and they have yours when you're dealing with all these decisions brings the anxiety level down and helps you both make sound choices that are good for both partners, be it vacations spent together and solo, to discussing plans for retirement and day to day money management. So thanks!

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Stephen thank you. And I think you hit the nail on the head: if you view every decision through the lense of care and partnership, things tend to work themselves out. Sometimes it takes a minute but we get there eventually!

[@brookeangel2071]

When you said "finger wagging" I was like "she's gonna roast me alive😅" Appreciate the advice (commentary?) on income disparity. It's something I think plagues a lot of people, and I'd venture to guess it's usually the opposite of my situation (the man earning more than the woman). I liked your final sentiment - being a team is just that- being a team, where you don't hold income over each other's heads. Also, teachers deserve more money than CPAs. I've never had a bratty child throw a trashcan thru the window of my office, but my husband has had a kid throw a trashcan thru his classroom window.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Isn’t it unbelievable what they have to handle?? Omg unimaginable. Please tell him thank you for all he’s doing - I feel teachers should be thanked the way we do members of the armed services. And SERIOUSLY I loved your question and the way you framed it. Good stuff.

[@MyFocusVaries]

It breaks my heart how education is undervalued and how little teachers are paid in the U.S. I saw a video suggesting side hustles and one was substitute teaching. No degree required in this person's area and it paid $70 a day, and was available for long term postings!!😢 That's less than the minimum wage where I live in Canada. And here you can't sub without a degree plus another year of teacher training.

[@brookeangel2071]

@@MyFocusVaries preach! Don't get me started on how we don't pay teachers enough, so we can't get them to apply because it pays so bad, and then we have to pull in non-qualified people to be subs and LT teachers....who end up messing these kids up.

[@MyFocusVaries]

@@brookeangel2071 We're short of teachers up here, too!

[@MyFocusVaries]

@@brookeangel2071 it's undermining your future! 😢

[@staceyhenshaw4487]

Not only do you need to have your financial information in order for your spouse but you need your financial information in order for your children should something happen to you both.

[@kathyn91]

Thank you for the frank discussion about finance, privilege, all of it! So glad I found your channel.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Thank you so much for the kind words. They are more appreciated than you know.

[@kaylaandmarkalan]

The Dave Ramsey line. 😂 Seriously though, this was SOOO good and so important. We have a drawer (got the idea from Dave Ramsey…) that was everything in it in case someone dies.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

And absolutely there was some good info we learned during our years following him . . but the toxicity of his brand and the shame based "counseling" is just too much and I think super damaging for many.

[@bethpolasky126]

Come for the fun graphics (loved the pharmacy! on the last one,) stay for the gratitude and kindness. Well done

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Oh what a kind comment, Beth. Thank you.

[@VickiNaso]

I had the wonderful opportunity to meet you, not having any idea of this channel or what you did for a living/passion. I was in the back room of my store and heard you speaking to one of the employees out front. I sensed such an energetic, positive vibe from the conversation that I had to come out from the back to meet you. You are an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing your authentic awesomeness!!!!

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

So this just made my day. Thank you!!!!!! I'll be talking about my experience in the store next week and I'm still over the moon and what I got. THANK YOU!!!!!

[@KittyMeowWow]

True, even though I make more money than my husband now by quite a long way, I work for myself and work from home and I 💯 think my currant business requires less effort, time and stress than his job. I do not work long hours or have to navigate an office environment…. So, I am happy to take on more of the responsibilities at home. For many years I did not have an income and I was a full time stay at home parent as well - but I think this was a lot harder in many ways 😂. Xx

[@ilsehunt6798]

We’ve been married for 43 years and have always had a joint bank account ! At various stages Keith earnt more than me ,then I earnt more than him but we’ve always classed it as our money !

[@annellis8412]

I find Dave Ramsey unrealistic also. He's lucky he got wealthy with his ideas very quickly and hasn't lived in the real world for quite some time. A lot of what he says makes sense, but people don't need to be yelled at when seeking advice for financial mistakes. I feel like I'm on the same page with so much of what you say!

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Thank you so much!!

[@dawnturpin]

I have a notebook with all the sites, payment information and passwords, our Power of Attorneys, Health Directives, titles to the cars, deed to the house, life insurance policies….all the things. It would make a horrible situation so much worse not passing on that info

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

So smart and compassionate.

[@FamilyPixieDust429]

I completely agree ❤ I feel like our purpose is to help others and spread love!

[@rhillyermiles]

We have that same $250 rule. 😊

[@rhillyermiles]

Also, he makes more than I. We keep our money separate. He pays for the house stuff and I pay for the son and pets stuff and the maintenance fees on the timeshare my mom gave me (we travel one week a month so it's kinda worth it, we both work remotely). I definitely have the better end of that deal. 😂

[@webcreatrix]

Regarding the couple with disparate incomes - no, the partner who makes less shouldn't do more at home. Both are working full-time, I assume. Making less money doesn't give someone more time! Partners could split bills based on pay, but assuming partners are working the same number of hours, work at home should be shared. Just my opinion.

[@MyFocusVaries]

I really appreciated your acknowledgement of privilege. Having a student loan from my brother, help with tuition from my dad one semester, even the advantage of a good relationship with our parents so we could live with them for a semester during university really gave my husband and I a leg up when we were young (no bank debt). Without our degrees, which led to our jobs, we would be in a very different financial situation today.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

So many people are so quick to say they didn’t benefit from privilege and then they look back and realize all the advantages that allowed them to be successful. It doesn’t always look like a trust fund. Even just having supportive family is something many don’t have!

[@rosew861]

Good 4 u that u feel like u don’t wanna retire ……I think it depends on what kind of work u do regarding retirement. I myself am a nicu RN (35 yrs currently) & I myself cannot wait to retire (hopefully in 4ish yrs). I started nursing @ 24, now I am 59. I am TIRED lol I have worked like a dog for a longggggg time

[@CarissaHelmer88]

This was so good. I love hearing your financial advice. I think it was about a year ago you answered my question in one of these videos and my husband and my's conversations about money have grown so much based largely on your response. We just have so much more respect for each other in terms of what is finacially important to the other person. So thank you.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Carissa I love to hear that! Thank you!!!! I was just who happened to be there when you were ready for the change. And I'm HONORED.

[@danamcdonald4514]

I loved hearing your perspective on retirement. It really is a reimagining of how we want to spend our time as we age and parent our adult children and (possibly) grandchildren and find value and community in that season.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

It makes it a lot more exciting to me than the way my parents talked about it! And thank you!

[@mimicallsit7675]

Thanks for this, Jenn. Could you share more about the “SEP” how you started it, and what it’s looking like for you?

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Every year, my tax accountant lets me know how much of my LLC income qualifies to go into an SEP plan and then we transfer that amount - it was originally set up by our financial advisor but Fidelity, Schwab, etc., also offer it?

[@mimicallsit7675]

@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge thank you so much!

[@neko-chan6145]

thank you for providing your insights. love how you added the disclaimer that the actor was a marvel actor. made me laugh and appreciate your thought to details that might be misinterpreted.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

I mean I have a lot of friends who are actors and I didn’t want them coming for me.😂😂😂🥰

[@lisasproul8027]

I love the way you think. In this and all of your videos. You just make such good sense and articulate so well !

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Wow thank you Lisa!!! That means a lot to me.

[@MyFocusVaries]

I am always saddened by the idea of income disparity and trying to make up for it. And while I appreciate what you were illustrating with your analogies, it wouldn't make someone's contribution less valuable if they worked as a ditch digger. Folks who feel that their partner needs to do extra work around the house to make up for earning less? I guess those people have a different idea of what marriage means.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

I don’t think that’s exactly what the original question meant but yes I agree with you that all work is valuable!!!! No making up for it is ever needed.

[@MyFocusVaries]

@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge I'll listen again. It's early for me, pre caffeine.

[@BecomingVT]

This was so great Jen! Loved this video and always appreciate the wisdom you share! ❤

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

THANK YOU CORAL I LOVE YOU!

[@BecomingVT]

@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge love you right back, rock star.⭐️

[@StephanieButler-jd6ek]

Really great sensible advice!!

[@RUSSELLHAND-lg7mk]

You should be a teacher or inspirational speaker. Really enjoy your vlogs. Identified with the trials and tribulations of finance and budgeting. Not married but these are hard financial times. Love the wedding picture. God Bless.❤🙏🏳️‍🌈

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Thank you for the kind words!!!!🥰

[@pei-ling4805]

My friend’s father deleted his late wife’s Facebook account and my friend lost every single comment her mother made on her posts, all the posts and pictures her mother posted, all those memories were gone. It took her a long time to forgive her father and she was SO angry. There was nothing that could be done to get any of it back. Please be careful if a loved one dies when dealing with their social media.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Oh my goodness that’s so sad. And such a good comment to stress the importance of having a plan for this!

[@brat32179]

If Scott wants to continue to fly, has he considered private charter? Many of the pilots we cross paths with are retired from a commercial airline. Now, I don't know if that means having to train (get licensed?) on a variety of different smaller aircraft, but many have mentioned they enjoy the flexibility that comes with doing charter flights.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

He has definitely thought about it!

[@reneeburich9497]

I used to handle all the day to day financial things and my husband took care of all the investments, etc. I don’t understand all of that. He now takes care of everything, but he keeps a binder updated with whom to contact for which investments, insurance, how much liquid cash we have and passwords. It’s terrible, though, that I don’t even know how to get into our bank accounts on our laptop…I know, I know, I just need to sit down and DO it, but it just never seems to happen.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

You’re not alone, Renee! So yes let this be the moment you fix it. And you can stop worrying about it.

[@gaildionysius7604]

We are both retired and we botb volunteer at our local community centre. So we feel valued and still gave something to do.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Love that. And YES this is exactly what I meant - earning money isn't necessary but purpose CERTAINLY is!

[@nmernst]

Thanks for sharing. We just paid the house off and like you I see myself working for some time. However, part time is where I see myself in the very near future 😉.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Congratulations on achieving such a huge milestone!!!!

[@nmernst]

@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge ♥️🙏

[@LisaEicholtz]

I am surprised you don't like Dave Ramsey......but regardless may I ask why?

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Check the pinned comment for more!

[@LisaEicholtz]

@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge not sure that answers the questions but okay never mind.

[@LisaEicholtz]

@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge okay I see it now

[@havantgirl]

My ex husband and I pooled salary from the very beginning because we knew my career trajectory was different to his - we started our marriage with fairly similar salaries but mine grew pretty quickly. I never regarded it as “my money” and we shared all decisions about how we spent our joint earnings. We both worked full time so everything was split equally in terms of labour in the home. I feel like this is really the only way to not build resentment. I’d like to add that money is not the reason we are no longer together!

[@havantgirl]

Great video as usual Jen! I love your outlook on life

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

So wise.

[@donnabaardsen5372]

Jen, I could not agree more. I lived in Lafayette, Louisiana, when my son was born. The University of Louisiana is there. And, I lived in Atlanta, just around the corner from Emory University, where I also worked. Both terrific places to live, lots going on, so much diversity. I highly recommend living in a university town!

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

In our brains it will keep us young I think? I feel like being surrounded by old people (even when you are one) makes you think old….we don’t want that!!

[@donnabaardsen5372]

Agree 💯 percent! Well said!

[@missygrafe8642]

Love this video! Great insight and reflection.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Oh thank you, Missy!

[@majorhollingshead5906]

Thank you for another great video. ❤️😘

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

THANK YOU MAJOR!

[@thediztasticfamily]

Such amazing info. ❤

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

thank you, Amber! Hope you're doing well!

[@thaiswinmill2153]

The physician I work with loves her undergrad school. She went to Penn state and goes back regularly for football games. Her retirement plan is to move back there and take classes at Penn state again just for the hell of it. She said she wants to audit the classes so she can sit in the class and learn but not to have to take a test or write a paper for the sake of a grade.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

I love this. Learning doesn't stop no matter the age and I can't wait to see what the last chapter of my life holds!

[@rakucopper101]

Love the jacket.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Thank you! Anthropology clearance a few years ago and I love it too!

[@christiS907]

Your Income switch sounds like us. It’s always been us no I. We’ve been married for 32. Your budgets and vacations and all is definitely us too. lol.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

I love to hear it!!

[@lindah.1104]

It’s not how much money you contribute to the household budget that determines how much “you do around the house”, but how much time and energy your job takes up. My husband traveled in his job, so I took over the lawn care. Then our free time could be spent on something fun to do together when he was home.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

Such a great point and my reality as well. Scott is gone 60% of the time so there’s no way he could contribute 50% to the household things.

[@rebeccalydy1142]

It's not a good look when you start out by bashing someone who has helped a lot of people. Personally, I have not followed his programs but do know people who did and were successful at getting out of debt. You could have offered your own "suggestions" without tearing someone else down. Your financial position is not relatable to most.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

I’ll go ahead and double down and say he’s downright dangerous in some cases. Feel free to watch the video I pinned in my comment for more. I’m not at all concerned with something being a good look.

[@rebeccalydy1142]

@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge ok, thanks for the heads up. Bye

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

@@rebeccalydy1142 bye!

[@gailprowant9346]

Love Dave Ramsey! Sorry to see you calling him out.

[@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge]

If it’s worked for you that’s great! We find him very shame based and angry and unrealistic.