"YOUR WELCOME" with Michael Malice

Michael Malice (“YOUR WELCOME”) welcomes hilarious comedian, Kurt Metzger, onto the show to talk about awkward encounters on airplanes, the comedic beauty of “magical words”, and Michael’s favorite joke that Kurt tells.
We also learn about the recent rabbit-hole that Kurt went down regarding the different types of Aliens, and the strange story of a woman claiming to have hooked up with one, right here: • This Girl Hooked Up wi...
KURT METZGER
Kurt’s new comedy special: • 30 Minutes With Kurt M...
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MICHAEL MALICE
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Intro song: "Out of Reach" by Legendary House Cats thelegendaryho...
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[@MichaelMaliceofficial]

This is your welcome! Join the conversation at my community at Malice.locals.com

[@JCResDoc94]

that was gr8! i really like kurt metzger. hes good. someone i never would have found, but for the pando & the essential screaming of JD. fine entry. _JC

[@sts9154]

I became aware of Kurt from the Jimmy Dore show where he is a invaluable asset. He has a great ability to see things as they are, JD has hopes for some politicians, Kurt knows they are all useless.

[@jackp.3605]

Jimmy has yet to be enveloped in the complete darkness that George carlin experienced. But he'll get there

[@ItIsYouAreNotYour]

Kurt Metzger steals jokes! Spread the word!

[@leoandolino4668]

Most, if not all, are selected "tools" exampled by AOC. Dem or Rep doesn't matter all are placed by the Powers That Be to do their bidding.

[@kingofoblivion1822]

Check Kurt out on The Adam Friedland Show. It was not long ago and Kurt and Nick Mullen riff together and it’s hilarious

[@Art-bk6vv]

​@@kingofoblivion1822 im gonna stay subscribed to them even in this period of great darkness and few uploads because I know if I don't, there will be even less content. It's honestly pretty high-minded stuff, it's an analogy for how our corporate overlords give us less and less for the same price. Also, I'm gay

[@realMasterGreenEye]

KURP is an amazing addition to the Jimmy Dore Show he is an absolute treasure alongside Jimmy.

[@100canadianmaplestirup8]

its Kurt

[@realMasterGreenEye]

@@100canadianmaplestirup8 that's what I just said, Kurp.

[@jamesbell7809]

Jimmy Dore show is legit, just subbed to him like a month ago. Idk why it took me so long to find it. Also yes, Kurp is great 👍

[@frankslade33]

Really? Wow. I find it literally unwatchable because of him, and often have to skip his comments.

[@Smokkedandslammed]

Its so funny, people either think he's a National Treasure or he needs to be put in a box under the stairs. I think Kurps laughter is like Angels giggling and love his constant drive to make fun of everything. His special was so good hahaha!

[@rawelite242]

I usually don't like when the "sidekick" on a show interrupts, but anytime Kurt talks on the Jimmy Dore Show, I'm for it

[@Smokkedandslammed]

There was a time where Jimmy would make it real hard for Kurt to chime in but now he lets him say his peace, I love it. Especially since Craig has been on and Big J has been chilling in the back. I really dig where the TJDS is headed 👍🏻👍🏻

[@JimmyJamesJimbo]

Whenever Kurt isn’t on an episode of JD I get really sad lol

[@j.farrell]

"We don't even have three evils!" 😂

[@eemoogee160]

I'm voting 3rd evil only from now on

[@paulhancock]

Kurt could be my favourite working comedian today. He's one of the few who act and speak in the true spirit of standup comedy... Fearless opinions with no BS. I could listen to Kurt talk about anything and it's great to see him really find his groove. The madness of the last few years has really given Kurt a platform to shine. Long may it continue.

[@missykins3193]

You must be related to him, or work for his management.

[@deepestvermillion]

I love Kurt, I have been looking for someone funny and sincere for years.

[@missykins3193]

@@deepestvermillion You must either be: related to him, sleeping with him, paid, or working for him.

[@raulescamilla9089]

​@@missykins3193You must really abhor the following: The truth, A genuinely stark look at reality or the way you feel when someone is just honest about what they think. That should be more than enough to think about, strike that- chew on while you low key insult someone you don't know over something or someone they enjoy. And, for the sake of argument, the vibe you share is very similar enough for how other people might feel about women who fabricate false claims and how they use those intentions to substantiate their opinion as a fact. Stop behaving like bacteria does, infectious & inflammatory. Just stop it and get help.

[@detrockcity3]

@@missykins3193who the fuck clicks on this if that’s your impression? 😂

[@lahaza6515]

Michael please have Kurt on as much as you can. We'll never tire of it!

[@undiscoveredcolorz]

He just moved to Austin. A second show with Kurt and MM could be a possibility. That's a dream podcast for me at this point.

[@ambabamba7271]

LOVE Kurt - “Whoopie what would your Bubbe & Zeyde say?”⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[@jondc32]

Whoopi saying Dr. Jill is one of the best doctors in the country and should be the surgeon general tells you everything you need to know about the View.

[@christianpethukov]

She said that?? How invincibly stupid.

Finally we get Kurt getting his time to speak.

[@3rdGeorgesheets]

Was he just on a podcast with Bert?

[@hitoriwa]

@@3rdGeorgesheets who the heck wouldn't want to listen to Bert ???

[@mindsigh4]

@@hitoriwa staff & inmates at detox/rehab/halfway house ?

[@austinglaze5415]

​@hitorinishitekure anyone who realized "the machine" and I take my shirt off and squeal laugh isn't comedy

[@eemoogee160]

His new special is great 👍🏾

[@MrClarkeGaber]

Kurt is absolutely clinically insane. I LOVE him on the Jimmy Dore show. He's like a wild bull, The entire cast has to come together to corral him, it's wonderful.

[@Kim-dk9nk]

Agreed 👍

[@nesne2167]

Yeah, he was my also by far my favorite part of the Racewars Podcast.

[@PoperoniNews]

His dynamic with the whole cast is great. Really enjoying the addition of Craig as well

[@michaelrosen2852]

I love hearing Kurt chime in on the Jimmy Dore show 😂 they have been on fire lately

[@play36inadaygreenskeeperbe69]

His Jehovah's Witness childhood probably had an effect on him. That and living in NY and LA. That combo leads to both genius and insanity in lots of ppl

[@have_a_good_day420]

I love how unimpressed Kurt is by his own joke that Malice finds hilarious 😂

[@gilmillan4575]

which one?

[@kingjoe3rd]

I love that you have Kurt on, yes! Also, you were so kind and understanding to the Q-Anon Shaman, which made me very happy. Thanks, Michael!

[@godsofohio6734]

Kurt is my favorite living comedian.

[@stephensauer1771]

@@luisfordinho59chill chill chill lol

[@stephensauer1771]

@@luisfordinho59although I did have a similar thought

[@100canadianmaplestirup8]

your soooo jay@@luisfordinho59

[@dvg4104]

R.I.P. Sam Kinison

[@missykins3193]

You must be related to him.

[@dpclerks09]

"That's such a dwarven thing to do" holy shit, lol

[@Nastyb77]

Kurt's 30 minutes with special is my favorite of all of them. Just complete natural talent.

[@devinbrown6921]

I'm sure you've seen it, but if you haven't his special "White Precious" 2014 is easily in the running for the best ever made.

[@jmh31890]

I really liked Jordan's, but I agree that Kurt's was surprisingly good.

[@missykins3193]

He's doing Paula Dean jokes.

[@tarmon768]

Colum's was great too

[@Banner-18]

Yeah me too although Dave Smiths was good too.

[@erictaylor3918]

One of the best! You should have him on monthly.

[@garydalybookmob5180]

Love Metzger. Funny as fuck and he recognises how insidious and nasty the entire political system across all factions. Great interview.

[@asuperstraightpureblood]

Kurt seems like an intense person. The comedy check valve keeps him from assault and battery charges.

[@Art-bk6vv]

Bahahaha he is quite the character but he is absolutely hilarious

[@rooskadoodle5952]

two legendary conversationalists, really excited for this next hour and a half

[@NatsTown]

That Paula Dean joke is the funniest thing I've ever heard

[@antp9838]

What an unexpected treat! Thank you Michael! I love Kurt, he is such an awesome comedian and great human being. I love how you guys I interact, his explosive energy and wild directions go very well with your intuitive questions and patience and respect. One of my favorite episodes. I typically turn stuff off when I hear stuff about aliens, but because it was you two: I listened. Bring Kurt again.

[@missykins3193]

You must work for his reps.

[@TsAugk]

This was my favorite podcast you’ve done. I hope you have Kurt back on again soon. 🔥

[@thomdrolet2624]

For anyone interested in a podcast that addresses the things Kurt is talking about in a serious'ish manner. The higherside chats with Greg Carlwood is great.

[@troycassidy6177]

Greg is the Bruce Buffer of podcast intros

[@m92quad55]

Those Conspiracy Guys for 5hr podcasts with excruciating detail, Tin Foil Hat for the training wheels style beginner level stuff with plenty of humor thrown in. Higherside is right in the middle

[@northwoodfalls1403]

I love how Kurt’s brain works lol He’s always the guy in the room who knows the weirdest, most arcane bits of knowledge on any given subject and has such an off the wall take on things that somehow, after he explains it, sounds like the only reasonable interpretation.

[@HaykInWonderland]

Relax dude

[@northwoodfalls1403]

@@HaykInWonderland 🤨

[@kirkpierce2260]

After watching Kurt's special, I'm convinced he's one of the best standups going now. His jokes work on so many levels.

[@chrisv384]

yeah.. he got some of that norm macdonald vibe. which is fucking great

[@brucegregson621]

"We're not doing that now!" Top G

[@belialacrid7916]

You gotta watch white precious if you haven't.

[@DeanCameron]

he’s a national treasure.

[@Marin3r101]

Michael is. Not Kurt.

[@machtnichtsseimann]

that must be protected at all costs?

[@TommyTumma]

And I’m a National Pirate

[@TommyTumma]

@@Marin3r101ermmm maybe you don’t know his work. He’s a bloody genius in a monster body lol

[@missykins3193]

@@Marin3r101 Rewatch and count how many times Kurt interrupts Michael. He does it to everyone. He starts a sentence but doesn't finish before starting another sentence.

[@illpj]

Halfway thru and Kurt is making Michael crack up exactly the way he makes me crack up ... beautiful.

[@pablowentscobar]

This has been the goddamn funniest thing I've seen in months. People might think Kurt is insane, because he looks like the psycho homeless guy on the subway that craps in his own hand then stabs you in the neck, but he actually seems like he knows what's really going on.

[@Nylon_riot]

I was so disappointed the podcast ended. I wish I had Kurt's wit.

[@biskit8050]

he looks like Tom Segura on meth

[@clydefrog203]

He does have the look of a 1980s coked up Armenian VCR salesman.

[@Smokkedandslammed]

His eyebrows remind me a Gyro food truck owner.

[@pablowentscobar]

@@Smokkedandslammed Kek It's like he and each of his eyebrows all have their own mind.

[@WarHammer1989]

I had no idea Kurt was into the alien stuff and unsurprisingly he said the most interesting stuff I’ve heard about the subject in awhile. Also me and Kurt are both into prison genre shit too

[@cyroz1s]

Kurt, your special was awesome! Love you being part of the Jimmy Dore show. Malice, you're the man!

[@ChimpOnComputer]

I know alot of Jimmy watcher don't like kurp, but man I absolutely LOVE him. He's loud, he wild, and just cuts in whenever there's an opportunity to throw something out there. LESGO KURP

[@snizzypoosexcellentspooner2468]

I love Kurp! Him and Jimmy together is magic.

[@juancarlo888]

I love that Kurp is the "youthful vibe" of the Jimmy Dore Show

[@brainchildguru]

When did this name Kurp become prevalent? Feel like this is a new thing.

[@juancarlo888]

@@brainchildguruYo! It's from Kyle Dunnigan's Stalone segments

[@manoverboard321]

​@@juancarlo888Keep on punchin!

[@jhavatar]

Did not expect the alien talk - loved it.

[@slainemccool2875]

He sent me down a tall white rabbit hole

[@jareddoesstuff358]

Man, I was so bummed when this ended. Could listen to you guys for hours! Gotta get him on again soon.

[@aliciabolan9930]

Watching Kurt on Jimmy Dore, then his special, and the several podcasts he's been a guest on gives me a complete picture of the man, and it's a masterpiece!

[@Smokkedandslammed]

People really love him or hate him, I think he's hilarious and has the laughter of a baby angel.

[@timjones9305]

Kurt’s new 30 minutes is some of the best stand up I’ve heard in a while

[@JoeArn1]

Fr

[@johanstinson]

Watched it yesterday and it's fantastic

[@j.t.r1409]

This was better than what I was expecting. Kurt and Michael gel well together, this was fun and needed. Thanks from SE Asia.

[@MikeJones-iz1qq]

Have Kurt on every week please. He is the funniest dude ever and his rage is incredible.

[@thenoseplays2488]

When I was in the education system there was a saying that "It's clear the people who designed this thing thought the most important detail about a child was their date of mgf." I spent a lot of time working to undo that...and fought to change the machine. A lot of people like me did, and now we are all gone, and the machine is stronger and more emboldened with activism instead of education than ever.

[@anonymous666951]

Same. The bell schedule is the pedagogical equivalent of the assembly line.

[@MeanBeanComedy]

What's mgf? 🤔

[@thenoseplays2488]

@@MeanBeanComedy date of manufacture...or in otherwords their age, as opposed to their actual ability or merit

[@jamestillman3150]

Metzger had me doubled over a few times. That Paula Deen n word bit was pretty damn good

[@obi-wanshinobi2353]

Kurt’s special was fantastic. Actually.

[@aksks762]

i hated to see this talk end. two of my favorites for sure!

[@NoLegalPlunder]

Kurt's a genius.

[@iga279]

Kurt rocks! the last 20 minutes were phenomenal ! Thank you M.M. !

[@larryshepherd5380]

Kurt is beginning my favorite person to listen to. He's so great.

[@EVGUITAR1975]

Kurt’s awesome; he should have his own show!

[@matthewharrison8940]

yea, i wish he would do more can't get right podcast

[@quidnick]

He does it's called "The Jimmy Dore Show"

[@EVGUITAR1975]

@@quidnickI know about that one, but I meant one that is fully his vs being more like a sidekick!

[@missykins3193]

@@quidnick Right? It's Kurt show now because he interrupts Jimmy all the time. If you rewatch this Michael Malice clip, he interrupts Michael a million times. He starts a sentence and then doesn't finish it before starting another sentence. His special wasn't funny and I didn't crack a smile once.

[@russellgolden7546]

@@EVGUITAR1975Can’t Get Right is Kurt’s podcast. It’s wonderful but he posts sporadically and Gas Digital paywalls everything but the ten most recent.

[@welcometothewraith1]

Kurt drinking white claws.... I'm a basic bitch too Kurp.

[@ci3008]

Kurt is the best part of the Dore show.

[@plankro8]

Kurt is generational talent and I love him as a friend

[@missykins3193]

Kurt is no generational talent.

[@christiensebastien2442]

​@missykins3193 yeah, he's a non-generational talent

[@steved7872]

44:54 "outdated farm equipment" I had to pause for like 10 minutes. that is one of the funniest fucking things I've ever heard in my life. I can't wait to go to work tomorrow and tell all my black friends. He will think it's hilarious. LMFAO

[@desi4227]

Love Kurt!!🤗

[@digitalwayfarer7404]

I could literally listen to Kurt Metzger talk about the dumbest stuff and be fascinated.

[@JD-os2kr]

I'm mowing my lawn with headphones in and the Paula Deen bit made me laugh out loud. My neighbors must think I'm losing it. Maybe I am. I don't give a shit.

[@dahalofreeek]

I'd highly recommend the 30 minute stand up special Kurt just put out on his KZbin channel. The thing is jam packed with hilarious jokes. Kurt is just fucking great at comedy.

[@vlada]

Thanks. I know Kurp from Rogan, Jimmy and other shows on TV, online, podcasts. I dont think I've ever seen his standup. Maybe it's because I hate most of Rogansphere comics like Callen, Schaub, Delia, Hinchliffe, Diaz, etc and I don't want to hate Kurp as a result. But then again, if I sat thru Brenden Schaubs 1.7special I can sit thru anything.

[@tonymarks4967]

Love watching michael laugh 😂hope lex gets the time to watch this

[@chancegreenisdead]

my dude kicking back white claws no shame😂😂😂

[@AZTLANSOLDIER13]

Love Kurt. His palpable sickeness with our absurd world is honest

[@WarHammer1989]

Michael Malice and Kurt Metzger need to do this once a month

[@tylerk3616]

Jimmy, Kurt, Pasta, Steph have a great show nearly every day at The Jimmy Dore Show

[@lachlanbell8390]

Pasta is just guest hosting while Jimmy's away. Last little while it's usually been Aaron Mate filling in for Jimmy while he's touring, only very recently that Jimmy got Pasta to do the gig.

[@bcap88]

Pasta needs to go

[@warrencdent]

"These words have been gaped" - Kurt LOL

[@itsmeben604]

I love Kurt. He should be much bigger than he is. Really we're just lucky that they haven't found a way to cancel him yet.

[@emeraldsun72]

Kurt’s the man. Great chemistry with you two. A lovely and entertaining talk

[@nickhomer6799]

Kurt is a badass. He needs to do another PU$$IES podcast. He's legendary. Absolute talent.

[@kierangallagher5687]

Nice hearing Kurt ramble on

[@PoperoniNews]

Kurts new special was great. Recommend to anyone looking for a solid set of comedy

[@eemoogee160]

I was worried at first cause the topics are kinda played out in comedy, but his jokes were truly well crafted.

[@PoperoniNews]

@@eemoogee160 You make a good point. I am ready for the next wave of interesting jokes about the next “thing” what ever that may be.

[@Rampart.X]

"Kurp, which part of this episode was the best?" The part where I get paid.

[@justinfalzon6854]

You're in the jungle baby, you're gonna diiie. That made me laugh out loud.

[@lauralamantia5514]

I was dyin😂

[@dillonwalshpvd]

You know where you are Louie CK?

[@JustinTyme33]

Kurt is a natural talent that has taken those talents and honed them. He has become the funniest comedian working today. His collaborations with Jimmy Dore are simultaneously hilarious and important.

[@jakeschneider5719]

Love kurp

[@murtaugh1761]

Omg I am SCREAMING at the Paula Dean shit, literally tears

[@kellieheald]

" such a dwarfen thing to do" 🤣

[@revolverocelotbobbys]

Kurt is one of those comedians that I always love whenever I hear him on other peoples' podcast and whatnot, but I've never given him, personally, the time of day. I'm gonna change that. He's a treasure.

[@AJ-HawksToxicFinger]

Absolutely love when Kurp is on!

[@GonzointheSelf]

Love Kurt! 😂

[@xavierdraco33]

love these 2 together, Kurp is the best.

[@iuploadulike]

Kurt gives me hope for comedians.

[@FightForFreedom1776]

I think this was the quote Kurples was thinking of, and he was right the first time it was Rockefeller that funded this… "In our dream, we have limitless resources and the people yield themselves with perfect docility to our molding hand. The present educational conventions fade from their minds; and, unhampered by tradition, we work our own good will upon a grateful and responsive rural folk. We shall not try to make these people or any of their children into philosophers or men of learning, or men of science. We have not to raise up from among them authors, editors, poets or men of letters. We shall not search for embryo great artists, painters, musicians nor lawyers, doctors, preachers, politicians, statesmen, of whom we now have an ample supply…” - Frederick Taylor Gates

[@Alecmoz1973]

Loved it! Haven't laughed so hard for a long time! Thank you Michael and Kurt.

[@alui5362]

i fucking love kurt. even on jimmy's show he's the best. his laugh is so freaking infectious

[@unit4949]

What a pod cast, completely out of this world.

[@krischanlive]

Kurt is the best

[@beandaddydoggratt9714]

Dude outdated farm equipment had me crack the fuck up!

[@richardevans5013]

Claire McDonnell is the woman Kurt references in his story about UFOS.

[@Zumpage]

All good comics i feel have a distint growly or peculiar tone and MY'MAN kurt is no exception. Kurt and ryan long are my fav new comics ,2 boyos are hilarious 😂😅

[@lisar.2549]

This guy was phenomenal! Thank you!

[@marauder7412]

You killing me with the ads!

[@evilmac9623]

"There are so many brilliant woman out there, none of them are on the view" - Tim Dillion

[@BLUEGENE13]

Kurt is great lol

[@deejay8ch]

Great ep. Kurt's a beast.

[@vandannski]

About Cornell West. Lenin had guys like this in his group as well. He called them tea-drinkers.

[@petergumz2034]

Nice. Kurts hilarious. Watch white precious if you havent

[@SmashTactics]

great episode!

[@scottayan7726]

"These words have been gaped"

[@davemayshow]

I’m sitting through your ads because I respect you

[@codycarlton3719]

He's got the crazy eyes 👀

[@aaronwilcox4376]

A.O.C. eyes, that's a fact. But I listened to him without developing the urge to jump off a cliff.

[@normanshadow1]

I love Kurt, he always packs a punch!

[@LabrnMystic]

Can never get enough Kurt

[@alexlynch1674]

Great show guys

[@DaZese]

Been waiting for Kurt to guest more ANYWHERE!

[@SmallArtisan]

Yay! love me some Kurt Metzger