Ep. 26 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

[@Cyxz666]

Bert is like 5 children in one body trying to speak through one mouth

[@k.w.c.w2149]

Cyxz 😂😂😂😂

[@jessop-]

Haha, that's the perfect analysis of Burt!

[@rjw4149]

OMG!😂 It's sad how on point that is.

[@REAPER3fitty]

That's so true. Well said

[@marycallahan2334]

His brain is pickled with Xanax. He’ll be boozing in no time. It’s a shame.

[@mimigiggles4199]

Tom could tell his life story to Bert every episode and Bert would never have heard the story before.

[@REAPER3fitty]

Holy shit dude you have TWO kids?!

[@421less1]

@Jonata when he got* it was *

[@jamesdickey9427]

Burnt is Tom’s best friend, but I have a feeling everyone in this thread knows much more about Tom’s life than Burnt Khrystler does.

[@UseThisFire]

Except Tom couldn't do that because every time Tom tries to tell his life story, Bert interrupts him and starts to tell his own

[@Paul_DSZ]

He’s Narcissistic

[@Tom-fj3vm]

Tom: I had three black friends in High School Bert: *Utter Amazement*

[@newsrapper]

Bert would never have been friends with Tom if he knew

[@dankmheems290]

Tom Segura is very cultured and bilingual.

[@RomesThe59]

At first I was like Bert grew up in Tampa, there is a huge Cuban population there and its a pretty multicultural city. But then I read that he went to private school and it all made sense.

[@marsupial22]

Tom: ...My dad still thinks about his fallen brothers everyday... Bert: HERE’S SOMETHING RELATED TO ME

[@GraceJ91]

Blehdi 😂😂😂

[@wilhelmcox4787]

DRINK

[@421less1]

@Rational Viking when you decided to sober up, is that when you put the rational in rational viking? Good luck brotha! Good on ya

[@devansnider7793]

The dude will interrupt with half a dozen stories about himself, then sit there stammering and stuttering for 30 seconds because he cant decide which one to tell. Hes so fucking self centered that the second the topic is NOT about him, he panics internally and starts scrambling for a way to make it so. Bert genuinely cannot handle people talking highly about others.

[@resmarted]

@@devansnider7793 "Quick bert, make up a story about yourself!"

[@chuckn4851]

Bert: "I'm gonna listen today" Also Bert: Not five seconds after that statement, interrupts Tom talking about his Vietnam vet father and halfassedly relates to him by talking about how he watched Platoon

[@dudemaister96]

Bert jokingly says " Let's make this episode about Tom, I'm here to listen! " and INSTANTLY interrupts Tom before he can even finish his sentence

[@scottharvey2852]

And that's why we love him/them

[@scottharvey2852]

The intros r fuckin class 😂😂😂😂

[@MissyGirl5150]

dudemaister96 totally! I love him but he lets Bill Burr talk, he is pissing me off. Tommy can tell stories too

[@scottp.548]

And Tom's Dad met his mother while Awol from Vietnam.

[@dudemaister96]

@@scottharvey2852 nah that's a trait I hate in anyone I know and see

[@hunterlittle8793]

There are episodes of JRE where Young Jamie gets more mic-time than Tom ever gets here.

[@thefirebuilds]

After interrupting FOUR TIMES "man i am the worst friend, I don't listen to ANYthing." "yeah."

[@jimmyluffnin1297]

Then he continues to interrupt for the rest of the interview, Bert loves Podcasting because people have to be nice and listen if camera was off I bet it's different no1 would put up with it

[@Kbwintyy]

thefirebuilds I love how he knows and still does it every time

[@Lt3652]

Bert: “By the way, Drake is like a legit deal.” 🤣😅😂

[@ryanbush942]

Just catching up on these...the idea of having Chris D'Elia message Bert's daughters did age well...

[@jeremybasset9041]

I'm in the exact same boat 😂

[@lippy22]

That one left a dent

[@stanklizard7961]

What's this in reference to?

[@michaellapierre1407]

Head ass dude I was like uhhhohhhj

[@robertkennedy1293]

I had the same thought. Wonder how that conversation went lmao

[@MichaelWutsch]

Love this Tom focused episode where Bert talks about himself the whole time

[@SpacersChoice]

Bert: "I'm here to listen" let's see how long that lasts 4 minutes

[@dudemaister96]

not even a minute he cut Tom off right away

[@futbolplaya07]

i know more about tom's life & i've never met him. its fucking nuts. i'm not even trying to remember this shit.

[@stoicsmile_]

4 minutes? Did you even listen... it’s was less than 5 seconds 😂

[@danielpenrodii2389]

“I like to run, I’m like a dolphin”. Bert really is an animal expert!

[@Belznis]

Well, that sounds like anxiety talk, I have had it too. Your brain works so fast, you want to tell all the ideas you have. First you say that you like to run a lot and then the next thought is about how dolphins are really agile and fast, and move a lot. You say out things and they end up sounding wrong or funny, which is good for a comedian.

[@twistedreefer3669]

@@Belznis Either his brain is working so fast...or his brain just isnt working xD

[@nathanyarymowich]

That jug is filled with Kool-aid and nobody knew

[@myyoutube4906]

Nobody knew

[@ACIDICcitric]

The wind didn’t stand a chance

[@thenightfoxx]

I love that the guy who didn't know that Japenese and Chinese spoke a different language is trying to explain the societal and technological advances of the late 1800s, early 1900s🤦🏾‍♂️

[@futbolplaya07]

What's funny is he practically picked the perfect year to be born to see the most change lmao. He might be the dumbest person but I can't stop listening to his idiocy.

[@thenightfoxx]

@@futbolplaya07 100 percent! I'm a fan of Tom, but I guess we gotta put up with Bert's pig laugh.

[@deviljon]

Bert is the most lovable version of Florida Man. For better or worse.

[@madisonyarletts6174]

He is a comic I can almost guarantee it's all a character

[@ashina5924]

A lot of my coworkers didn't know that either. Most of them didn't lol even after explaining that korean to chinese is the same as french is to english and nope. Does not click in their heads.

[@mattaholic]

Bert paid me to comment that he is not actually as racist as it seems

[@Cyxz666]

Was this before or after the 5 minute white privilege speech?

[@philipsutcliffe1610]

But he is

[@jeremiahbachmann3901]

Not so fast...everyone knows that if you acknowledge someone's race, you are a racist.

[@luisocadiz5990]

Tom paid me to find you and pay you to say bert paid you to say this

[@TheBlackMambaa248]

I would believe it

[@VIDEOdugo]

Bert Kreischer and bottlenose dolphins actually have a lot in common, like how they both weigh over 330lbs.

[@dntgvafuk89]

The dolphins are definitely smarter though lol

[@simonmorgan6934]

Dolphins can't see their penis either.

[@djleblanc1612]

They both laugh the same - "EeeeeeEeEeEEe EEEEEEEEE eeeeeeEE"

[@Doorsofprcptn]

They also release their fecal matter wherever, whenever.

[@brianjohnson9802]

@@djleblanc1612 I can't believe nobody got to the squeaking laugh joke faster than this. Nice job though. It's accurate.

[@evank7858]

"I wouldn't mind a snort of the ol' uncut white privilege."

[@HebdebaV]

to be fair, most people probably wouldn't

[@AmericanArgonaut]

Evan K lmao!

[@MrBobbyfresh]

Did you guys see that Adam Sandler movie? Precious white privilege

[@jasongillum5763]

it thought it was cocaine

[@carlross3033]

@Roland Deschain dont forget educated

[@neverlistentome]

Tom seems confused how Bert could watch UFC in college. He forgets Bert was in college for a decade.

[@spacedawg0073]

1:13:07 "We gotta have an end-of-quarantine party" Bert: "Ok, when do you wanna do it?" 😂😂😂

[@mikewizz29]

Bert seems like the type of person who thinks Taiwan and Thailand are the same country

[@aroff595]

He probably thinks they're both cities in China.

[@Ryuzakku]

@Zah Hall Well Thailand is a country, and Taiwan is real China.

[@duinthadope420]

@@Ryuzakku Don't Tell that to someone from Taiwan.

[@Ryuzakku]

@@duinthadope420 Taiwan knows they are the real China, and they try to have other countries back them on that. I think it'd be "Don't tell that to someone from mainland China"

[@JR-rz1br]

Problem is, he's probably visited both of those countries while with Travel Channel. He's so fucking ignorant.

[@LewisCooley]

Bert's the kind of guy who thinks hes no longer an at risk individual because he jogged on a treadmill the night before while drinking wine.

[@firecrow7973]

walked not jogged

[@jsil_]

sat not walked

[@biglicker4473]

looked at the treadmill and pictured himself jogging on it then felt that was enough

[@FrankDickerstein]

Fell asleep on the toilet and dreamt he thought about getting on the treadmill.

[@421less1]

His wife ran on the treadmill

[@ricardodelorenzo3954]

"I like to run, I'm like a dolphin" -Burnt Crystals

[@DrankenDune]

50:56

[@Zackaria_sMax]

Hahahaha thank you, came to the comments just for that quote.

[@schlafin]

"100 percent"

[@MetalHeadSippel]

this quote needs to be on a t shirt with Bert's face on it

[@flipndip5122]

It's nice to see Tom give back to the community and make Bert think he's a normal person

[@bharatrao7954]

Hearing the background laughter is the best thing lmao 24:34, "they call me fetus right now" *background laughter*

[@brettpingel1910]

Glad it’s not just me... it’s great

[@jeremewilson4690]

Yep

[@prozacjunkie112]

Blueband should edit in a little Bear icon in the corner of the screen that keeps track of the Bert drinking game!

[@danb4811]

This.

[@CrookedCrowe]

And it appears physically drunker throughout the podcast

[@JRuff9]

Nadav do it!

[@JRuff9]

It would be so much work lol

[@iamorlandosanchez]

agreed

[@MrErickeane]

Brent is barely recognisable without his pointed hood and robes

[@aaronlong8199]

E K LOL, he also prefers his favorite nickname “the grand dragon”

[@hawfcut2394]

I feel im missing outon ajoke as I keep seeing people say stuff like this.

[@anthonymiller934]

@@hawfcut2394 Bert is "racist" is the joke

[@HalimaAbshir]

I went to his show a few months ago, he started his set by saying "no coloreds allowed"

[@crispyclubbers]

@@hawfcut2394 he's the fattest, most racist comic working today

[@marcusprice5497]

I hope there’s no “free styling” in this one 😂

[@jairoperez7059]

as long as the lyrics are provided, he will always "freestyle"

[@ethanp9068]

Marcus Price why man? That was really good

[@SomethingGamecatAdjacent]

"Ok, here's some freestyles I wrote." -Bert

[@Meestaseesta]

@@benwaldsax7659 un-BEAR-able I see what you did there.

[@lucianna5286]

aaa jajaja

[@mr.niceguy777]

The Patrice story is on a video called "the greatest story ever told on radio" I suggest you go and listen to it and Bert completely butchered it and basically implied that Patrice was a rapist. He half listened to that story just like everything else in his life. That was low and loose.

[@Kaunte]

To be fair, Bert does say he shouldn't be talking about it :D

[@ethanschafer4684]

I was about to write this comment, thank you for saving me the trouble

[@BoDetroit31]

yes da fuq it was ...and thanks for callin it ...cuz i was about to do a paragraph... preciate U

[@johnham14]

If you don't like Bert why do you watch this podcast

[@MetalPhlex]

I literally cringed and shuddered: thinking if I were actually in the room when he said that garbage.

[@jamisons9971]

23:00 thank god his girls weren’t too obsessed with D’elia

[@whoyou8319]

they laughed pretty hard when tom said they should have delia message berts girls.....they at least heard something

[@Vance12901]

Berts tongue got stuck in his teeth and he couldn't see what he was saying.

[@well_as_an_expert_id_say]

Bark Mallwerg

[@Vance12901]

Wark ballferd

[@MrStrike45]

chaka souffle?

[@teonyi]

Muk Wogerg?

[@DasE30Cuz]

Dipocamatic community.

[@patrickbrown2]

"He died at 41? That's like you dying tomorrow"... "It's my birthday tomorrow, I turn 41"..

[@highland11091994]

How is nobody else freaking out about this?? That is a crazy coincidence

[@enriquegarcia3396]

This is literally why I started looking through the comments. Why isn’t anyone making fun of this????

[@jesuzombieapocalypse]

“I like to run, I’m like a dolphin. I like to get in front of boats”- Kreischer 2020

[@justmordecai]

Bert: I'm amazed by the type of men that are out there. Tom: What do you mean? Bert: Like... the type of *MEN* that are out there. Tom: I- Bert: Like, the ty-, like, just the type of *M* *E* *N*

[@justintrimble]

This tennis story . . . I’m dead. I’ve listened to hours of Bert talking and the number of stories he has is unbelievable.

[@brianjohnson9802]

Yes.... yes it is unbelievable.

[@brody1261]

I just want a compilation of the first 15 seconds of every two bears one cave podcast

[@tyrelking1371]

“I’m Tom he’s Special Needs” I love it

[@Uni85h]

I love Patrice. He might be my favorite ever. Bert trying to tell his jokes is a hate crime

[@beekae8664]

Watching this podcast 2 months late "The girls are into Delia"........😬

[@JLAShazam]

Fucking same lol I was like well this podcast didn’t age well

[@Civic-mw4jj]

And they're literally like "we should have delia message the girls" 😬😬

[@hutchklutch2594]

Bert gets way more excited imaging things than any child I've ever seen

[@GrandSpiral]

Happy 4/20 to everyone!! Pull those jeans up high and tight!

[@johnathonklinedinst5889]

Bert is probably celebrating the birthday of his favorite Führer.

[@yo-yoweizer1578]

@@johnathonklinedinst5889 i lmao'ed

[@boscoedash6363]

I wish mommies would drop a pod today

[@davidwitt3547]

Bert is the most sheltered 40+ year old man I've ever seen.

[@cybertree]

He is a dolphin though, a beautiful flipping dolphin in its prime.

[@jarrettwatson7555]

So true and he’s done everything

[@martinberglundeskildsen5306]

@@cybertree yo dolphins f*ck people!

[@gustavacresacres2329]

@@cybertree more like a disgusting elephant seal, bert is as entertaining as drying paint

[@yepyepyep170]

Gustavacres Acres the first part of that comment was funny the second part was like a disgusting elephant seal

[@michaeladams6847]

"I am the worst friend." "Oh I know.." 😅

[@noahmartin2208]

Bert thinks advancement is cellphones lol, he said there was no advancement during 1800, the middle of the industrial revolution

[@timelineenjoyer]

Noah Martin seriously where could we go after smart phones? Smart people?

[@SuperReviews4you]

Tom "We should have a end of quarantine party." Bert "When should we have it?" Tom "When the quarantine is over."

[@MsSonnyR]

1 YR later watching this again……

[@cosmicresonance4142]

@@MsSonnyR still waiting on this party!

[@kelsofly77]

25:17 “Btw Drakes like a legit deal” 😂😂😂😂

[@Simon-ku7ky]

Every episode Tom's eyes get deader and deader, i really wonder how long it'll be until Tom kills Bert during the podcast.

[@brycelumsden1080]

They should have a water mark counter for the Bert drinking game as the pod cast goes on. Would surely get over 100

[@SoonGone]

Its so inspiring for me to see a special needs guy not just living like he's a normal person but actually killing it. Congratulations on your success buddy.

[@xeoph]

Even though it's not going to happen, I hope Bert can get over the desire to be plastered all the time. I really think he's a beautiful human being and I want him to have good health!

[@platapus112]

Everytime Bert speakers about history I physically facepalm and feel so bad about his daughters

[@platapus112]

@Landon Lee I think he thinks anyone before 1950 just sat around and did nothing

[@jasongillum5763]

they're both smarter than bert

[@Carebear_311]

And he calls them stupid 😂😂😂

[@ejcrafton84]

“Shot myself short” Bert is the old bartender from Boondocks Saints that doesn’t get idioms right.

[@TheWalkingDavid]

ejcrafton84 I was wondering if anyone else caught it

[@peachmelba1000]

Bert is American Ricky.

[@brento4605]

peachmelba1000 haha! you nailed it

[@crawford244]

38:20 - Bert: "why did you become a comedian?" Then he IMMEDIATELY interrupts Tom a millisecond after he starts answering

[@joseporras7804]

It really sucks that Tom can't speak

[@tophan5146]

Take a shot

[@jamesdickey9427]

Tom just kicks back and lets Bert go. Co-hosting a podcast with Bert looks easy... you say two words, Bert jumps in and talks for 5 minutes.

[@TheIconicCollector]

Thats what makes the show great.

[@NateGUYYY]

Andrew Crawford you have eyes and ears. Cool.

[@mikemoore4033]

Tom: “Do you know when you learned?” Bert: “New York.”

[@scabbynack]

I love how Bert thought herd immunity was thinning the herd because both idioms are about herds lol

[@glassboxfish]

“Let’s make this episode about Tom, I’m here to listen” Proceeds to immediately interrupt Tom once he starts talking

[@XenionK9]

Tom's opening bit kills me every time, much love to the both of you.

[@jakeholtman7507]

Can't wait to hear Bert interrupt Tom 1,000 times

[@OttoTheWeim]

These shows are THE BEST thing on KZbin today. Putting the 2 best comedians out there today aside from Chapelle (he is a legend but both of you are becoming legends as well).

[@TemakiTom]

I lost it when Tom said "We'll get some little people there...some dwarves...your seven favorites...."

[@EcchiHeroOda]

'I like to run, I'm like a dolphin' - burnt kristler I think this special needs bit, isn't really a bit.

[@LANCEtheBOIL]

Brent christeler is definitely spiecist

[@hernanhernandez5583]

“My brain’s really different. I like to run.” And “I like to get in front of boats.” Are my two favorite quotes!!!!

[@IloveGorgeousGeorge]

"I didn't wanna say Dr. Ken, because it sounds like I'm name-dropping" Yeah, BERT WOULDN'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE HE'S NAME-DROPPING EVER

[@dudemaister96]

Least selfaware and the most racist comic working today!

[@newtonslogic]

This was the best episode they've ever done. Hearing them talk about their childhoods was amazing.

[@markleonard4809]

Bert has NO business trying to sound smart talking about history.

[@mattm7378]

Bert: people born in the 1930s only lived to 35. Also Bert: I was talking to Leanne's Grandfather ...

[@ministevie8]

He said 1870s but it's still ludicrous

[@LukeGeoDude]

@@ministevie8 Yeah, he was thinking of the fucking stone age, and it wasn't even true for that.

[@shenbeuv2616]

@@LukeGeoDude it is true lol, people didn't live long.

[@K0sm1cKid]

@@shenbeuv2616 on average people didn't live long but a lot of changes still occured over 40 years. Lol

[@louiegallo1289]

FUN GAME: Take a drink every time Bert says "I", "Me", "My". You're already drunk.

[@jamesdickey9427]

Anyone that tries to keep up with that game will get alcohol poisoning and a trip to the ER.

[@Daniel-wv7lj]

You could do that for anybody 🤣

[@louiegallo1289]

@@Daniel-wv7lj Not true. Have you ever seen him analyze something, make an observation, or discuss a topic without talking strictly about himself? You haven't. He does this thing where he'll ask someone a question just so he can answer it himself to talk about himself. He's funny, but self-centered and annoying.

[@ryandugan2062]

Bert “wont talk about” how he just said someone went to prison for sexual assault and hes not entirely certain

[@GuinessHangover]

Bert: Spends 5 minutes talking about how Patrice went to jail for sexual assault, follows it up with "I wont talk about it."

[@Yophillips3272]

He didn't even get the story right fat drunk. Lol

[@tberwick1]

Made Patrice sound well suspect, he didn't assault anyone (according to his take, which I believe). He tells the story well on O&A.

[@powderandpaint14]

@@tberwick1 I expect a large percentage of people who go to prison for sexual assault say they didn't assault anyone.....

[@421less1]

@@powderandpaint14 the way patrice told it on O and A. Him and some buddies ran a train on a 15 year old girl and they were all 15-17. He said everything was consensual and just a nice afternoon really. One of his buddies talks about it, some jerk hears, tries to blackmail the girl for a blowjob, she complies, runs outta the bathroom screaming in school that he raped her. She gets in an interview room and tells the whole story. Shes 15 so its open and shut. Decide for you What bugs me is that bert claims to "love" the guy and say all this shit about how he looked up to patrice, then that's the only fucking thing you can think of to say about him? Funny type of admiration. If you had a dead friend and you wanted people to know how great he was, i bet you wouldn't start there

[@FDEE30]

Someone can be dying and Bert would assist by telling a story about himself

[@JasonMcLean523]

man i love this podcast! whenever Tom gets to talk its hilarious

[@bterwin9887]

Bert's clan robe can't be fitting him right now during coronavirus

[@ShadowT23]

Imagine how cranky he is now that he can't attend the weekly meetings

[@Paul_DSZ]

ShadowT23 probably just getting more drunk and embarrassing his wife

[@federicalfred1]

I'll never get tired of saying that the guys laughing in the back make everything so much better 😂

[@stephaniehalloran4447]

It's the truth!!!!

[@alanbrown5907]

Those laughs are recorded. Every time you hear that, someone is pushing a button, not actually laughing. Notice you hear it at the beginning of every episode before they've even said anything.

[@RaDicAL808]

Bert’s Dad: football is too dangerous. Bert after baseball: teeth left the chat.

[@chrishacker7551]

Bert: I don't like to drink and drive because I don't want to do the math. Not because the murder.

[@joeyisamazing1091]

To be fair there’s a big difference between having 2 beers and driving home from dinner Andy’s having 15 shots and driving home from a bar. It’s not unsafe or illegal as long as you only have 1 or 2 drinks and you’re not driving right away. And it also depends on if you’re at a Bbq for 6 hours and have 3 beers or at a friends for 20 minuets and have 3 beers.

[@destructoblog]

"If you think about it, I really am truly like a dolphin." I had to stop what I was doing and consider that for a couple moments.

[@ramiebecker1]

I hear it from every alcoholic in every meeting I go to, "I don't ever want to measure my alcohol". You aren't different, Bert.

[@googleuser859]

He hates the truth but desperately needs help.

[@hugoj1129]

ramie becker yeah I’m sure they say a lot of things that Bert says but you have to hand it to him, he has run a marathon and gets regular blood work done, he also has proved time after time that he can stop if he wants to... like he’s currently doing right now. He also happens to be a millionaire with a happy mariage and two kids off of the back of his drinking stories. He’s different to the people in your meetings.

[@ianhillgartner3471]

Berts no exception, an alcoholic is an alcoholic even if you stop for periods of time, it still clearly consumes and affects him day to day. Mickey mantle gene isn’t real and if it was Mickey mantle spent time in rehab, had liver cancer, a heart attack and died of Cirrhosis of the liver at 63, so not really something to be proud of. Hope he figures it out

[@ethanking4954]

@@hugoj1129 That's called a functioning alcoholic. You can be an addict and still get stuff done.

[@37yeahbuddy]

@@ianhillgartner3471 You could literally say that everybody is an alcoholic if the that's the logic you're using. Because people drink and then they stop and then they drink again. Alcoholics don't stop drinking. That's why they end up at AA. It literally destroys their life. Bert is a heavy drinker but not an alcoholic.

[@JeffreyKelley]

You guys should do a drinking episode. You each get a jug of Titos and try to finish it in 2 hours...but the twist is Tom's is just water so only Brent gets obliterated

[@jonanderson5137]

So... A normal show.

[@jeffstock7819]

I feel like that's already been done. But with molly.

[@NateGUYYY]

Jefftheostrich real original

[@goud2488]

@@jeffstock7819 eh.. kinda lmao

[@stormbreak13]

Last time I was this early, Bert still had all his original teeth

[@aust_barrett]

Bert saying “I like to get in front of boats” as a comparison to a dolphin is so funny😂

[@isaiahc_26]

“Im Tom and he’s special needs”😂😂😂

[@hillaryg1251]

We REALLY gonna ignore that coincidence of Bert saying "that's like you dying tomorrow" and Tom "..yeah it's my 41st birthday tomorrow"

[@wstr9963]

I used to love Mitch Hedberg. I still do, but I used to, too.

[@angelique_cs]

LOL perfection

[@fliptophiphop1894]

Hell yea

[@Kaunte]

Classic

[@ericlorance2089]

Bert “diarrhea of the mouth, constipation of the brain” Kreischer

[@VIDEOdugo]

Based on the stories in this episode, I think we can include regular diarrhea as well.

[@danielstone9978]

Dysentery

[@TehMadCow]

He’s beyond that at this point it’s chronic irritable bowel syndrome of the mouth, irreversible toxic megacolon of the brain

[@deanfranz]

On Patrice: "I won't even talk about it" .....20 seconds later.... Bert talks about it.

[@SpaceAnimalGaming]

I like Bert a lot more than some of the people in these comments sections, but he absolutely has a tendency to say "I am NOT the one that should be talking about this topic... Okay, here's five minutes of my uneducated, inarticulate take on it."

[@zacdickerson1397]

Bert finally listening to Tom: "oh wow this Tom fella actually has some interesting stories, I should have him on my podcast"

[@svhmj3918]

Those poor guys playing that drinking game are going to die from alcohol poisoning because of this episode.

[@alexmendoza9645]

💯 percent

[@oddynuff666]

if someone wants to edit the 3 specials together with the joke and link it, it will be much appreciated

[@matthewsydney5594]

Yes please!

[@nnikkittenn]

He's just trying to get another view on his special. Brilliant.

[@michaelhartman2645]

I wanna see it

[@kingofdawest14]

“I’m not your parent, I’m your dad” thanks bert

[@moodyblues5150]

Way to make this a “listening” episode, Bert!

[@s.leszczynski5966]

50:35 reminded me of: “I’m a peacock, you gotta let me fly!” If you know you know

[@Mnglkrmps]

That's so Bert that he had no idea what herd immunity was, looked it up and read the correct definition, and then just said the wrong thing again anyway.

[@Kris_Toffer]

44:52 I think it's only one ad break this time? I'll update this comment if I find more when watching. Stay safe everyone.

[@421less1]

BERT: "yeah so a few years ago i met ken jeong and immediately stunned him with my ignorance and uninronic racism." Is how that story should have gone 🤣

[@jessecash4331]

Bert is goin to keep Tom busy. Pointing out how many times Burke doesn't listen. But really man I love the pod cast. Also the specials are amazing. Thank you for giving my family a I a way to hang out and have a laugh. Love you Tom and Bert stay safe and keep laughing

[@Shambles_44]

Weekly Bert Quotes: "I like to run, I'm like a Dolphin."

[@anthonymiller934]

38:20 Barry asks Tim why he became a comedian. Terry tries to answer but is *immediately* interrupted by Brick not even one second later.

[@danielpenrodii2389]

Take a shot every time Bert acts autistic or racist.

[@Carebear_311]

I just died. Of alcohol poisoning.

[@jamesdickey9427]

He must be on the spectrum...

[@TreCayUltimateLife]

Hooking up the IV now...

[@Imarida2]

How slow are you that you can't tell when Bert is playing "the dumb drunk" character. I guess it's tough because he acts dumber than he is for a living.

[@kronosx7]

That's not what herd immunity is. Bert actually went out to find the definition, and stopped like 3 words in and pretended it confirmed it. Herd immunity is when enough people are immune that effectively everyone is immune because the chances of a person that is infected running into a person that isn't immune is extremely small.

[@charleshines6980]

I'm a preacher at a church called The Story WUMC in North Carolina (we have a KZbin if you wanted to check us out haha) but I think you guys are freaking awesome! Love watching how well you guys bring it on the stage! I'm taking notes! Hope everyone reading this is doing well. I love watching Tom and Bert!

[@de_activatedthe_band5117]

"this is a tom centric episode" --bert's tik tok'd brain.