Ep. 112 | 2 Bears, 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

[@eurotriper]

The immediate laughter from Tom as soon as the girl starts crying 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@andrestein6022]

Not gonna lie, I laughed just as hard at the same moment and thought "oh, guess I'm deranged too"

[@FinehomesofNewHampshire]

Aaaaaahaaaaahaaaaaaaaaa

[@Howitchewstofeel5gum]

That's what's so disturbing: He doesn't laugh when the girl gets hit, but only when she starts crying

[@FinehomesofNewHampshire]

@@Howitchewstofeel5gum says "great dad"

[@johnnycisneros8722]

He starts laughing again at the exact same time when they watch it again

[@Shrapnel92]

"Why am I crazy though?" "I'll never quit drinking." "I tell strangers how to cut steak" "It's Kool-Aid" "You think we could have sex with Adriana Chechik?" "Hooters needs to be trashier" "I ate like 8 cheeseburgers last night." "Why can't I lose weight?" The mad ramblings of Burnt Chrysler

[@comicenthusiast]

"I feel like I might be talking too much"

[@Shrapnel92]

@@comicenthusiast once again he acknowledges his inanity for a few seconds but then does NOTHING to improve or correct himself 😅

[@ADPax10]

Honestly, if I were him, I'd be afraid of treating too many of my addictions/idiosyncrasies too hard, because I'm a public figure and comedian, and that's how people know me (and why some fans like me)

[@sentientcardboarddumpster7900]

@@Shrapnel92 it's because Bert thinks if he acknowledges a fault, that's addressing it

[@auraglasswerks4900]

I heard that’s one smelly cave!

[@billiegoat1540]

At the end of each year they should do an episode with all of Bert’s ideas he doesn’t do and see if he remembers any!

[@PaulWTaber-zd8ds]

I nominate this for the comment Hall of Fame. Seriously. Great phuckin idea.

[@kyleanderson6790]

Why not each episode?

[@andrestein6022]

This definitely should be called original thoughts hahaha

[@andrewkoly]

Thank you for this comment. Nadav you better steal this idea and brand it like your own. The way you made Tom and Christina think that you titled the videos “man uses chest infection as instrument”. Multiple times Tom spoke so highly of you that you came up with that title and those of us who know, know Nadav has zero original thoughts

[@tomcollins2679]

Wat?

[@ASMRMaddy]

UH-Hundred percent geeked to be here 😳 Next up...chugging a gallon of Kool Aid ASMR😜

[@justintriplett6885]

Definite Samson!

[@deanrosenberg7079]

She really gets it! Haha I love this

[@ASMRMaddy]

My friends would call me a Christina 😂 I was freaking out at that part!

[@justintriplett6885]

I know what I'm watching every morning from now on. For God sake!

[@suckadush]

Hi Maddy I’ve been a huge fan of your Videos for literally years now and been a YMH fan for even longer so this is a crazy coincidence 😅 this is unreal 🤪

[@_brockj]

Bert: *notices his concussion story is getting a good reaction from Tom* Also Bert: *proceeds to make up 3 more stories about getting concussions*

[@armagedon3on3]

That's was fucking bad man. He changed his story every 6 seconds

[@Im.a.cat.]

Tom's face looked like he was made of wood, but then he heard a girl's panicked crying and he came to life with uncontrollable joy.🌠🌈

[@breadlytoasted]

Burnt talking about how his alcoholism started after a traumatic brain injury was a pretty low and loose revelation.

[@ryandouglas1188]

his origin story

[@jssytvrs]

More like his pour again story

[@groomedtodie]

He accidentally stumbled into a repressed memory of the most significant event in his life. And then he pushed it back down.

[@D-Fens_1632]

It really is remarkable how they think he's a superhuman and it's not going to catch up with him. Give it a few years.

[@ADPax10]

@@groomedtodie This was exactly my thought!! Fuck dude, nothing more real than some of these podcasts. I wish these were around when I was in high school

[@pettis1228]

I hope the Machine does well enough to get a sequel so we can hear Tom again.

[@WickedSpade]

Straight up I miss when Tom had guests each week.

[@RazagalArtanis]

Doubt it, they'll still be on Stitcher then.

[@ticaljarvis]

Brilliant comment 🔥🤙

[@yourenotrelatable]

“I bet she has an only fans!” Turns out he’s right lol

[@VinnyAppsCooking]

This went from the funniest podcast conversations to “Berts Pod of Lists and Google Searches” it is the worst 😵‍💫

[@danielcooper9899]

*3 minutes into the podcast* Nobody: Burnt: “Fuck it, I’m going to drink.”

[@SullyReviews5000]

He’s like “I’ve had a day”. Even though it just started. LMAO

[@davidkuehnen3339]

Seems that "Bert" is the alcoholic who won't admit it.

[@Prod_D]

Na he just drinks a lot I think...

[@toxicbreez4277]

Burnt

[@LukeT84]

Tom laughing at violence will never not make me laugh.

[@brannonwalsh676]

That Two Bears notification at 9:00AM every Monday really turns me into a telescope.

[@gabrielsanford7914]

Gonna get ya charged up

[@SoftNom]

OooooWEEE

[@jssytvrs]

Didn't even phase me you guys get it at 9 am, west coast best coast. Come on touch my camera through the timezones

[@drewcookies]

@@jssytvrs east coast chomos

[@JamisonGallagher]

These guys really into pegging?

[@bakbukasmr]

Thanks for featuring me guys! Such a nice surprise😂 I also do ASMR in French, English and Spanish😜 1:00:22

[@ryane397]

I like how Bert tries to blame his issues on concussions, but doesn't acknowledge that alcoholism might be the real issue.

[@SoftNom]

Bret blanking out mid-speech makes me feel good enough about myself to start the week. Daddy Lalaslow

[@thabrownieviking]

Tim laughing immediately after the girl starts crying is confirming some things we've all suspected

[@PsychoBeast017]

Nah bro the way she just starts crying like a baby after acting all tough is hilarious😂😂not even the first time watching the video but hearing that cry in the car really hit different

[@thabrownieviking]

@@PsychoBeast017 lmao good point. No matter what it's funny as hell and has to be top 10 OG meme videos for me.

[@nickdaboii]

He does this about once a month at least on YMH

[@PsychoBeast017]

@@thabrownieviking That’s like Top 10 OG KZbin video Lol before memes were even a thing

[@smwad7103]

That ASMR segment of this episode should have been in the heavy segment of a live show they were by far the most unsettling videos I’ve ever been subject to on this channel and the first time I’ve had to fast foreword past something in a YMH Studio production.

[@SilverDOMO192837]

i would rather watch the tree trimming aftermath on repeat

[@birdette79]

Heavy ffw segment for me 😬

[@DerekRuggia]

the lady is horrifying

[@MilesSzkoda]

I would rather have participated in the heavy segment videos than listened to the ASMR segment here.

[@fredrechidmyleg]

That last live show was traumatizing but I watched all of it. ASMR immediately gets skipped over

[@EwokPanda]

Anyone else astonished Brent made it an entire episode without mentioning anything about "coming out as fat"?

[@Gray-om1bj]

Wasn’t that like 2 episodes

[@Cloudroth]

Finding out Bert has a traumatic brain injury really connects all the dots, oh man.

[@MrKYLEforAwhile]

Toms face when Bert says,"She's not 14 anymore." lol

[@CJJC42]

Pretty weird he keeps calling kids attractive. Don’t expect much less from brunt though

[@WagonerVT]

jsjfsjfjjdflkasjlkfjas

[@kristianwitt6417]

This episode proves my love for these guys, struggling through that ASMR shit was painful.

[@mrs.h2725]

Had to skip. ASMR makes me cringe so hard my stomach hurts now 🤢

[@richardgonzalez6396]

I thought I was the only one!!! So cringy. Couldn't listen to it

[@skullcrackers187]

Also skipped though it.

[@meg7570]

I skipped through it and then it started back up a bit later so I turned it off. I simply cannot handle it. That shit makes my skin crawl 😖 Props to you for making it through.

[@newbowler_7669]

Agreed. Not a fan of ASMR at all. Never even heard of it until this episode.

[@deadlytaco90]

Every episode is like a ticking time bomb for Brutus We never know how it's going to end 🤣

[@coltonharner1364]

As someone with post concussion syndrome in nursing school it’s really encouraging to see my favorite comedians talk about something really relatable to me

[@Buaam]

Asmr gives me chills starting from the back of my head, runs down my neck and spreads all over my back and sides. It happens in waves and becomes unbearable quickly, I can't endure it for long at all.

[@turnbecks]

Toms laughter at other peoples pain and suffering is what gets me through the day

[@SuperLyricalgenius]

Never forget when Bret gave us the gem " Violence solves all answers"

[@SullyReviews5000]

Problems

[@SuperLyricalgenius]

@@SullyReviews5000 @ 6:39

[@nickdaboii]

Such a randy

[@sshuggi]

11:07 Of course, Tom's first true laugh of the video is laughing at someone's cries of anguish.

[@SoftNom]

I am not surprised. Tom is a confirmed axe murderer.

[@icecadder8644]

Bert: Tom, she's rubbing your hand. Tom: It feels good.... 🤣🤣🤣

[@AdamAdam-le3pm]

discovering shovel girl. another reason to love this podcast

[@justinsteranka1]

I would actually at this point genuinely like to hear more from Tim

[@Pokerdude38]

Is that the one that isn't Beet? I thought he was mute for the past 2 years...

[@T.M1980]

This episode was weird. Tom looks suicidal, and Bert has gone full Ernest Hemingway.

[@terryfold656]

I think Burnt is still suffering from that concussion in college.

[@probablynot879]

Still suffering from anxiety he got after taking MDMA Once, rather than the booze he’s drinking everyday

[@jakewilliamson1186]

never get rid of the guys laughing in the back ground lmao🤣😂

[@rileyeckstrom3617]

This episode was like watching both my grandfathers have a conversation

[@SSGBWolverine]

Starting at 10:38 you get to witness Tom going from "oh shit" to hysterically laughing the instant the girl starts to cry, and that's why we love him!

[@mykmcgrane]

"I feel like I might be talking too much." Bert coming awake....

[@willleaton2827]

Dr Drew actually interviewed the girl who got hit with the shovel. Tom has got to talk to him about that 😂

[@digitalsalsas]

fascinating world building

[@brendanfink7076]

Tim and Bret watching the ASMR videos was one of my favorite two bears moments lately

[@colinschnaible8911]

Good job to Allah-Anav and the entire crew for producing such a great show this week!

[@Danny-ko4zl]

Listening to these guys enjoy two girls battling with a shovel is making my morning 😭🤣😂.

[@mikecost6881]

Paddy whispering ASMR sounds a lot like an evil wizard casting a spell on a sleeping child

[@wetcrumb2191]

Evil J magic

[@KadeSyx]

After 112 episodes, Brat finally realizes he talks too much 🤣

[@penniewyatt9391]

Brief moment of clarity.

[@8thlvlMage]

And then promptly forgets and never does anything to change.

[@visagedry2019]

The perfect example of “we have nothing left to talk about”

[@jusdrewit]

Brett: I don't know how I found her... Tommy: I think I have a couple ideas lolol I died 😂😂😂

[@worldssickestmedia2713]

This is usually my favorite podcast. I listened to this one today during a two hour drive. Was kinda pondering crashing my truck into something before I realized I can just pull over and turn it off or change it. The name game mixed in with Berts inner gayness went on forever.

[@Lucas.Sobry44]

You guys nailed it with the "Derek." Anyone named Derek is an absolute menace.

[@Ryan-nj5ue]

thats rich coming from a lucas

[@MattMcLeod6]

@@Ryan-nj5ue beat me to it lmaoooo

[@themoscowcoupattempt]

I agree.

[@MiracleChips]

@@Ryan-nj5ue typical for a Ryan to point fingers.

[@Dshields602]

Damn dog I had to stop throwing eggs at an orphanage just to reply to this and say you’re wrong!!!!!

[@andrewroling8111]

Another one to make Mondays not suck. Thanks Tim and Brent!

[@pistolpete2803]

Yeah thanks Ted and Bart

[@bback4072]

Joe Schilling’s shirt says “ Ring Cage Parking lot” as in he’ll fight you in a ring, cage or parking lot. And that dude tried to make him flinch lmao

[@Steven-uk4fh]

“You hear the rainfall” fucking TOOK me out 😂😂😂

[@DruTheMonster]

These get harder and harder to watch man. Tom is getting a purple heart and a nobel peace prize for babysitting Bart every week. "Spread the WORLD you friggen turds"

[@whanauof5]

Agreed. I couldn’t get through the names. Wasn’t funny to me.

[@nostalgiajuana]

100%

[@Mysticfob]

Tom doesn't even need to be there really

[@anubuxjoe5433]

Fuck. Felt exactly the same listening to this one.

[@FirinMahLazer1]

@@whanauof5 The name bit was lame and the ASMR was awful. This one was just plain bad. I think the flying back and forth is killing it the show.

[@gabrielsanford7914]

Bart gets me charged up on a Monday! Love the energy Brent!

[@henryrubio8904]

Bert finally realizing he talks to much is hilarious af !

[@EVAASIVEOne]

Wait This is an episode I can enjoy bc hes self reflecting?

[@angelsilva7287]

He’s coked up

[@sammybananas]

"She's got my Dad on her cup." I hear you Bert lololol

[@galactus9625]

Bert with peacock Ad :"Let me read this verbatum" ... immediately messes up and reads world instead of word lol

[@andrewfaramphotography]

Tom and Bert need to ask Drew about shovel girl cause he interviewed her on HLN

[@Mnglkrmps]

And Bruce called it, she does have an OF

[@TheEd22518]

from "i got beat up once" to "personality changing brain injury", Bert going from 0 to savage pretty fast, although it explains a lot...

[@rcnyoplait]

Then he said he would fight a ufc champion. I guess he wants another concussion

[@josef2012]

CTE's a helluva drug.

[@jalrebass]

I think we just got Bert's origin story.

[@jeffreyhobson8481]

Got a son on the way in 12 weeks, we've been strugglin with the name. Liam was on the top of my wife's list, and I don't like it. This episode couldn't have come at a better time.

[@Foxx3699]

Conald!

[@dancygr]

Liam is a great name

[@Promitheos]

I love this friendship so much. Too funny. thanks dudes. Makes me miss my homies.

[@delaneytriezenberg5673]

well this is absolutely fucking wild, HUGE fan of y’all and never thought i’d be in one of your podcasts this is crazy. friends sent me the tiktok clip of the snoring and i thought it was spam so i didn’t click on it but then i got curious, so then i start watching and the camera turns and ITS ME?!?!! i didn’t even remember that video and didn’t even know she uploaded that lmao. that was 9 years ago!! i seriously thought i was being punked. then i realized that two of my favorite comedians were laughing at me?? entire life made.

[@nickhagin7825]

I've watched every heavy segment of every ymh live, and that kid sucking on the ear microphone was by far the worst thing ever shown on this show.

[@slunkling9794]

like the last 10 episodes,you can physically SEE Tom check out and start thinking about what he has to do after the podcast,at about 45 minutes every week. Its kind of a drag hearing him go "oh yeah...yup,sure is Bert" like he has better places to be

[@Gray-om1bj]

I think you heavily mis-interpreted their friendship

[@StevieGYaSee]

Listening to them talk about CTE is fascinating. When I was 3 my frontal lobe was crushed in a car accident. My short term memory is complete dog shit and I had to go through anger management and therapy growing up. I definitely have mood swings and anxiety. Thankfully though, I've no longer had any medication and I can lead a pretty normal life.

[@digitalsalsas]

meditation helps with neuroplasticity. meditating for even 10 minutes a day will help with neuronal strength / growth in a positive direction. i had head injuries too. i just designate 15 minutes for focusing on not focusing and it has helped with cognitive recall… plus i recommend magnesium

[@StevieGYaSee]

@@digitalsalsas awesome. Thank you for the advice. I greatly appreciate it. 🙏

[@jonathanbrattle5409]

Bert calling Nadav, “ullaundav,” made my day.

[@jesszand6076]

How did we never consider Brent having CTE before ?? His behavior now makes SO MUCH sense

[@bmfrandomness1565]

Uh HUNDRED percent ready for this!

[@EightBitJosh]

"I dunno I got there and I talked to like 4 Joshes and left." That shit killed me ahaha

[@Greeneyedghost2020]

I pictured Bert crying like Shovel Girl when he got German Suplexed 😆

[@mikebrogen2709]

These 2 remind me of my best friend Jason & I so much, the sense of humor is just spot on. We've been best friends since we were 12, and when Tom immediately starts laughing at the girl getting hit with the shovel I genuinely could not stop laughing because when that video came out Jason & I must have rewatched it 15x laughing our asses off

[@pattypmusic2487]

46:55 I like how he where’s no shoes during the podcast and asks about being to comfy to talk lol

[@nosaj666]

No joke it’s hard watching Barf spiral down. He will for real not live much longer

[@CJJC42]

Hopefully them tom can talk

[@ohwhale1552]

He’s fine

[@timdegraw1784]

I think you're right

[@MrRHCP101]

I love that when Patty started his asmr Enny immediately ripped off his headphones.

[@nickmeyer238]

6:56 A name for someone who uses violence to solve problems.... Randy. Yep. South Park was spot on. Randy V. BatDad. Thought this was America!

[@ChrisBowmanArt]

I usually can’t stand asmr personally but there’s something about asmr Maddie that I really like.

[@juice2620]

10:43 Tom is only amused once she starts wailing in pain lmao

[@themonopolyguy4365]

Ah yes, how we’ve all turned Bart’s obvious cry for help into his character.

[@sambathgate44]

I love how this is almost an episode of the office. Tom always looking right at the camera when Bert/Dwight says something dumb.

[@Lapointe_423]

ASMR Chick Bert: I don't know where I found here. Tom: I have a couple ideas! lmao

[@camcrookproductions3500]

Tim the best listener in podcasting

[@dustinharvey5393]

That opening clip is perfect! Bert: I feel like I'm talking too much A hundred percent!

[@ZBirDEveryday]

It made me so happy when they brought up that girl fight with the shovel. I love that video

[@prasun911]

"i think i talk too much" the fat man is right at the cusp of self awareness

[@zathryzzyrhtaz5197]

Bert resembles a St. Bernard on meth, the way he holds his head while watching clips and looks back & forth between Tom & the clips. Good Boy !!

[@penniewyatt9391]

The fact that it’s taken like a year and the new studio is still not up and running is such a Texas mood.

[@WilsonVidz]

This is my number one episode by far. Ive seen every episode and the one of asmr is so relaxing! Thank you Nidav DO MORE?

[@joshjohnston2065]

ASMR is like nails on a chalkboard to me. This episode was harder to watch than YMH live.

[@trevorkenny]

Agreed.

[@TheH2HStudio]

I really love that they give the full effort of changing outfits in between episodes

[@xannas.9207]

The only reason I look forward to Mondays anymore

[@seankeating5005]

Agreed

[@autosave5453]

"Do you know why I'm going full Brbrbrbrbrbr?" Might want to get that checked out, Brenty boy.

[@Js-hu5cm]

I give Tom so much credit for dealing with this insanity

[@sk8legendz]

We're all just here watching Bent Skylar spiral out of control on a monday morning. 🤣

[@18Callahan]

The death watch is real.

[@guyledouche6039]

I love how Nativ tried to correct bert on Rose's last name and ended up saiyan "yamajewnose" as if he was looking in a mirror

[@TianDubord]

For the first time, I had to skip through most of this episode, why not just have someone dragging there nails on a chalkboard for 30 minutes? Shovel Girl's crying whimper made it worth it, haha.

[@mattgoodell7015]

Mysophobics everywhere had to skip all that shit

[@digitalsalsas]

@@mattgoodell7015 imagine being a phobia-ist…. what the herc is your identity

[@PENGTWINKIE]

I always put these guys on Sunday night after work. Always gotta watch the official post though. Best ad reads in the game

[@binks7831]

FUN FACT: The name Randy orginated in 1969 when voice actor Don Messick said "Andy" in season 1, episode 8 of Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! As the voice of.... SCOOBY-DOO!

[@TheBobOnBass]

Watch these at half speed and it's like Tom and Bert talking during a bender

[@joshhponce6768]

This is the one episode where I got annoyed at bird multiple times for talking too much

[@robbyneal7124]

I enjoy how the theme often has Bert confirm whatever insane thought he had in the intro “I feel like I might be talking too much” … “100%”

[@joeyd4888]

Sometimes I wake up feeling a little R-worded but then I listen to Burt trying to formulate a sentence and I feel Uh-Hundred percent better about my self

[@colina1330]

Nadav really stepped up his Googling in this one. Found Shovel Girl and everything.