Your Mom's House Podcast - Ep. 459

This episode was delayed due to Tom's demanding movie star lifestyle, but don't worry, it's HOME HERE NOW.
Christina had a THEYBY. She and Tom go over the huge upside of raising their child in a gender neutral world.
There's also a new cool guy who is just putting out to the world that he would like some sex and he chooses the most unflattering of camera angles to rope you in.
AND Charo and Top Dog are on the show discussing everything from M**ijuana to Charo's amazing farts and so much more.
PLUS, your emails cover ANNOUNCING you have a big dong before you should it to a lover and whether or not your mommies fight before or during the show.
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/ yourmomshousepodcast

[@dixonknouse873]

Really glad Christina decided to do something about her weight. With her advanced age it was very concerning

[@8eavis]

*concerting. Silly Mommy

[@dixonknouse873]

I was pretty sure I had it right, but after 10-12 Benadryl accidents happen

[@kentuckymn4367]

lollll

[@DeLaKleve]

For real. If you’re not gonna develop a good personality you can’t be all Bert too

[@robertdaniels3048]

Dixon Knouse almost as dangerous as ambient and tweeting.

[@TheWalkingDavid]

Mommy Bunz and Christina P finally had their second pair of jeans made! May your jeans continue to be high and tight. Much love, no hate. 😍

[@TheWalkingDavid]

Woohoo! A heart from the mommies! DAY MADE!

[@Sickfps]

Lol. it's from their producer..

[@TheWalkingDavid]

Ethan Bradberry and you commented on mine because you wanted one too. Sorry jeans

[@tristanshea-zupan6328]

The Walking David well played f all the haters with a terminator gun

[@leighgordon1184]

@@TheWalkingDavid 6

[@A3Geovanni]

Jesus I have to remember not to have this podcast playing out loud

[@cagetj]

Julian segura, great name, so if he transitions, Julia or Julie. Ellis, can turn into Ellie. You guys are such forward thinkers.

[@jonahbacon2415]

Hehe

[@transfusionz]

Christine looks much happier now that Carl's-Jr.-Tom's-Ruth's-Chris has left the vajine.

[@ryanexsus]

HAHAHAHAHA

[@terns84]

Thanks for taking a break from being a movie star to feed the mommies we want it right now! Right now! Right now! Right now!

[@plexus]

Julien Segura... great name... plus, if s/he transitions, it’s an easy switch to Julia! Great contingency pre-planning! Go Jeanfam! #JulienJeans #Jeanfam #TBunOutThaOven !

[@Dudemeister-id9mw]

Eric Stodolnik Jewjeans*

[@Ontime2day]

Julian

[@thismothafuckasaid7304]

The hashtags made your post instantly creepy

[@l7napro608]

Anyone notice Cristina losing weight Is she on a diet?

[@SEEYAIAYE]

She's spent all her gas debuting some scenes with Charo on FartMistress.com

[@Dudemeister-id9mw]

She almost got as fat as Bret.

[@erikrussell5659]

shes saving space for the baby. fasting before a big meal i supposedly bad for you but babies are delicious so i guess its ok.

[@captainhowdy9297]

"Bret" sounds like Bert's evil twin from a parallel dimension.

[@theirishhokie]

My work day is about to get a whole lot better.

[@michaelhespe6488]

theirishhokie my thoughts exactly

[@mediaondisplay3089]

Congratulations on bringing Carl's Jr into the wolrd!

[@AnonymousFREEZEpOp1]

Media On Display *Tom's Carl's Jr.

[@mediaondisplay3089]

oh that's right

[@RandomPlaceHolderName]

Tom's Ruth's Chris!

[@RB-mk7ph]

Media On Display toms Ruth’s Chris Carl’s Jr.

[@brookeheffernonandonandona4151]

In my happy place ❤ So excited to see you guys!

[@Squiggums799]

I know I'm late to the party but I really hope they both wake Jeans Two by saying "GOOD MORNIN, JULIAN!"

[@Hullsey]

So if Christine had burped, and farted, while the kid came out all simultaneously, would that be the Triple Crown of bodily functions?

[@johnnie543]

Hullsey Yes. Yes it does.

[@KhorBaPeaceComesFromWithin]

Most likely she just shit all over the place.

[@joejames8503]

Hullsey I guarantee she did all that and shit everywhere.

[@marissahaide5555]

It makes me so happy Kim Ann’s daughter helped Christine so much after the birth

[@PSPodcastTroy]

Congratulations on your newest 18 year minimum commitment

[@mattklein7658]

Wow did mommy tina loose some weight?

[@charles_miner]

Ya she's one less person now

[@AnonymousFREEZEpOp1]

Matt Klein she had to take a massive dump. Probably had to use the poopile.

[@meaves3764]

Yes she lost exaclty 8.8 lbs

[@daegzy3031]

She had a tumor in her tum tum extracted.

[@Keller5327LV]

Don't worry, it'll be back on by next pomcast as Titstina will just Hoover Krispy Kremes and toss homeless salads forba unGodly amount of calories

[@jenniferdennis4627]

I cried a little Tuesday but Tommy IS living that movie star life! Congrats on the wonderful happenings in your family! ❤

[@chancebrennecke]

Lol I’m just now seeing all of these older episodes and man I’ve been missing a gold mine for years

[@TheAlpineShepherdBoy]

Blueban out here showing love to all the mommies. Keep them high and tight, right now right now right now right now.

[@MaTTEM15]

This podcast made me go BOOM more than 15 times, and I only watched it once

[@trvsnch]

Its crazy how contagious your guys "ooof" noise is. I catch myself saying it about stuff every day now. lol

[@jackg2630]

Toms “big shit baby” is an all time running joke

[@kmsevero1]

You look gorgeous as usual Momma! So happy to hear Baby Jeans #2 is healthy and happy!

[@peterbuckley1310]

Hearing Charo say "eat the scrum" warms my heart.

[@MisssPeachykeen]

This was hands down my favorite podcast they ever made. I was in tears.

[@Andreweroo]

Jeans held in that brown for a whole 9 months! :o

[@crockich44]

At certain points in this episode it sounds like tom is just reading 2 slightly different characters in a new script lol

[@mmorrow2938]

For too long I thought Toms parents were just characters that he and Christine were playing.

[@HalcyonAnonAnon000]

Christine?? Who are you... Coco?

[@crockich44]

illogical 000 I,m just a listener

[@HalcyonAnonAnon000]

My bad, I was talking to M Morrow

[@Nagnullat]

These two have wonderful voices to listen to. They also have great laughs.

[@Clawsn]

Truth about any and all arguments (@45:00-47:00) started between couples. YourMomsHousePodcast spitting straight facts.

[@0081Austin]

As someone who is from West Texas... Tom knocked it out of the park with his description.

[@xxChacaronXX]

All do respect, I've never seen Tom's parents and was hoping to match some faces to the voices in this episode. Until then, I picture Top Dog as Phil Collins from Trailer Park Boys and his momita as the "Spanish Lady" from family guy.

[@brianjohnson9802]

All DUE respect, not DO. Fucking dumb.

[@xxChacaronXX]

Brian Johnson - thanks, doll :)

[@313J0]

I picture top dog as Phil margera

[@xxChacaronXX]

aghh yes yes, i see that too lol... big ass belly either way

[@DK_tk3]

Did you find any? I just tried and couldn’t find any.

[@hazbaska1]

My week just got a lot better! I'm so happy the baby is out and Tom is getting his movie work going!

[@chuckanderson3657]

You guys are awesome!

[@frankfatality9889]

Hey shitpig, just wanted to say you guys make my work days so much better always so happy to see a new episode. You guys always make me laugh even when im depressed and somehow seem to pull me out of it.

[@DarrenVanDam]

I'm really disappointed in Cardi B backing out of that pact😥

[@mushylui9766]

Congrats on baby, guys! Our first one is comming this christmas, so excited! Love from Norway

[@bernardwallace435]

Damn, i was startin to get worried there wouldnt be an episode mommies!

[@michaelhespe6488]

bernard wallace same

[@Kansanite]

You need to tell that Brett Krihster the secret to losing weight

[@charles_miner]

Brett Crisis

[@ullrich]

He needs to poop out that baby he's been carrying for 5 years. Look at him, there's no WAY he isn't pregnant.

[@SEEYAIAYE]

step one, stop drinking 15 Tito's and Soda every day.

[@Kujien]

Bert Chrysler is pregnant with quintuplets

[@gjruff77]

Burnt Chrysler suits him. He can't cook for shit

[@danieloakes6859]

Yay! Ive been anxiously waiting to hear everything went well with the baby! Love you mommies, congrats

[@crisisactor420]

Congratulations on the child Tom! I'm really happy for you Tom. You're entering a new era in your life and I wish you the best!

[@HollieForrest]

Congrats on tiny jeans 👖

[@brandonlara5375]

Just wanted to say that I truly enjoy your guys show. Your interactions are truly funny and genuine. Tom you're a lucky guy man Christina is beautiful, funny and cool. Really enjoy your show and hope you guys have continued success with your careers and family.

[@whereverigothereiam3078]

My sister refused to let her son have any "weapon" type toys. She also gave him a baby doll to love. One day she walked into the living room and he was using a crayon like a gun and shooting at "things" trying to save his baby doll. Another he was wrestling with it. Another he had it in the backyard playing hockey with it. It is what it is folks. She took the doll away because she "felt bad for it". Sigh ... He has since grown up to be a lovely, extremely talented musician/hockey player. I'm sure he will be an awesome Dad some day.

[@kevinlaraphoto]

Does anyone know who made the instrumental for the intro? Lord Damik? Such a sick beat!

[@KellyMagovern]

The song is called "O.E.F" Check it out on his Soundcloud page: "lorddamik"

[@wmarcoux9]

Your parents are to funny and to likeable. I love them as my own .

[@annelipohjonen6792]

Congrats on the New Jeans in the family and awesome to have you back on making us laugh.

[@EdgarVargasVillarreal]

I needed this so bad!!!!!!! #TryItOut #MachinesWithin

[@stormwilliams3347]

Edgar Vargas Villarreal black guys that love to fuck and fuck good

[@EdgarVargasVillarreal]

Storm Williams dont matter if you're homeless or a thug

[@gustavoc7830]

"Would you kiss his POTO" LMAO! Your Peruvian side is stronger than I thought. Congrats on your new calato Tomás & Cristina!

[@TexasHeatAudit]

I figured the announcement of Razzle's birth would at least deserve kibble in a bowl.

[@MTJack275]

Great podcast

[@chrispetela8644]

Only podcast I listen to that I went back and listened to every episode before I knew about it so literally listened to about 300 continuously

[@rodmullin6641]

OMFG !.. Welcome back and congrats! I smiled for 1:53.19.. Super happy for you new mommies.. and the dog at 1:03 -4.. ha

[@Filiolus]

Charo and Top dog are absolute gems.

[@cottonwoodcreative]

she squeezed out two kids with heads like that? WHOAAAAHHH!!!!!! doc better have thrown in a couple extra stitches for dj dad

[@Sketchflix]

RUB RUB RUB 👖

[@b0nel_]

gotta try it out

[@captainhowdy9297]

ritenowritenowritenow

[@doctruth3335]

Tom knows exactly the nurse Christina is describing. My girl does this to me and is dead on every time.

[@Justin84319]

Thumbs up before the ad even finished I am so excited!

[@TheSaak]

Really wish there was a trigger warning before they cut off the intro song so disturbingly short. Some of us are insomniacs and like to watch old jeans.

[@blakepaxton6284]

This intro is pure fire. Absolutely bananas.

[@KellyMagovern]

The song is "O.E.F" by Lord Damik in case you wanted to know. It's on his Soundcloud page: "lorddamik"

[@LyonHeartRP]

After watching the last clip... Now I just want a whole Podcast of Tom writing jokes for Christina and then her reading them

[@3ferretsstudio]

Finally is Carl's Jr. time Babyyyyyyy! Congratulations guys!

[@huskylager]

"If you want kiss it there, that is your choice, enjoy" -Charro Mommy's Mommy, 2018

[@vomitinggiraffe]

Hey Chrisjeansa! Super happy for you and the water champ! I hope that his jeans are high and tight and has no neuropathy issues at all!

[@wmarcoux9]

When they showed tom cruise , wowowowow , have such new appreciation for movies now

[@dakronikles]

Much love from Chicahoe! And blessings to you and tiny jeans! I have to go finish my moose soup now

[@mjsudela]

This was a very cool episode. Also, Tommy totally just puts food coloring in water and then puts it in a Starbucks cup to make Christine feel like she's the water champ. He's looking slim too.

[@Aiur]

CONGRATULATIONS to the best pair of jeans in the podverse! 👖

[@ReallyGoodBadBoy]

Christina calling that nurse “...fucking dumb, and not funny...” is a fine example of the kettle calling the pot black. 😂

[@johnoconnell8393]

Congrats on the baby Tim and Christine!

[@DigitalNinja3]

HOLY. The Hot Ones show. I was fkn dyin. Had no idea you had a podcast/youtube channel. Dope. The only thing I saw just as funny this week, was watching Tracy Morgan ask Seinfeld, "Hey, You remember Kramer from Seinfeld." Omg. Tracy Morgan stumps Seinfeld. I laughed so hard. But you sir, you Mr. Segura, your mouth was on fire but you were so FKN Gangster. Props!

[@SEEYAIAYE]

Just glassin', is the rent free?

[@Mathew.]

Digital Ninja listen up bro, JRE, Your mom's house, CHURCH OF WHATS HAPPENING NOW, ARI, unlimited laughs

[@SEEYAIAYE]

Where's the 10 Minute Podcast in that list?

[@MerriweatherMcWiggan]

Digital Ninja fuck me, piss on me, beat me. You can bring a friend. You get lease and a key, you wanna try it out? Try it out!

[@dkexpat2755]

I cant be the only one who want a combo tour of Bunz and Christina, in europe of course, would die to see tom live!

[@AirshipFury]

This is the highlight of my week. Glad your second pair of jeans came out well, mommies!

[@DanyonRussell]

I always knew Bunz was a secret Patriots fan. Baby name confirms it.

[@rameysavoie7442]

Rachel Maddow on his glasses is a perfect added effect

[@KuftuKa]

hey I freaking love the instrumental in the beginning. is the artist on social media?

[@willgio6788]

Me too. I checked on soundcloud, Twitter and shazamed it.. Also checked their website. Literally no idea.

[@KuftuKa]

if only tom and jean would respond

[@belleboa]

"I'd throw on these gloves, and you can tell me how you feel I 3 minutes , if you're still breathing you can be a girl "😂 Tims parenting!😅

[@rkphighroller]

CONGRATS TO BABY JEANS

[@DarkLucan92]

Congrads you two on number two. Much love from Ontario Canada :)

[@86Jeoha]

I love your guy's opinion on raising children gender neutral and agree 100% on your thoughts and feelings on the issue. At the very least it might make a good TLC show down the road on how these parents fucked their kids life and what impact it would have after adolescents/puberty.

[@PfreshLim]

Congratulations on your new tiny jeans!! You guys are just hilarious! Would love to see Brooks Wheelan and Grace Helbig on here.

[@TheChanelbelle]

Hey my mom was 43 when she had me, not surprised Christina had a baby over 40, congratulations on mini jeans 2!

[@mikenormandy9250]

CONGRATS you two! All kidding aside I am very happy to hear the birth went well and you have a beautiful, healthy new baby BOY! -

[@tophergrace132]

Worth the wait!! Congrats again Jeans 👖 also can Stevie come out and play?

[@PaleBloodHunter]

funniest fkn line ive heard in awhile "She's painted the roases red" holy shit lmafo, all hail CP

[@brandonhinrichs8657]

Has anybody else noticed that no ads are playing before videos? I've been watching videos for about 3 hours and haven't seen one commercial.

[@ArchEpoch]

Sounds like Christina is having a case of the Mondays. 😋🤣

[@sethcd4]

Y’all probably have got this a lot but I’m new and wanted to say the intro song and animation is heckin sweet.

[@DanielZeal]

A link to the instrumental at the top of the show?

[@Otterfran]

Yay! Baby Jean's finally came! Congrats you two!

[@24Kewldude]

That phone call had me in tears. Thanks Jeans :D

[@Paintballman251]

top dog has definitely told those stories recently so that's pretty cool!

[@Kujien]

Good to see Christine has stopped pigging out so much she's starting to look thinner. Keep up the good work Christine!

[@cb7pwn]

CONGRATS JEANS! hope the baby is healthy

[@cocainepinata3829]

Love you guys, congrats on the new baby boy. You're awesome.

[@jamesm8397]

I picked the wrong podcast to listen to while eating lol

[@mrgalactus7264]

Congratulations! You guys are doing good! 👶🏼👖

[@Condewest]

A much needed break from the military life. Keep em high and tight!

[@jeffpaul6292]

Mommy Tina looking like a got damn snack over here

[@joejames8503]

Jeff Paul no women where you live?

[@JesusHComedy]

5:20 anyone else think Christina looks thinner? Can’t possibly be good for the baby. She obviously hasn’t given birth yet or they would’ve announced it by now

[@kodek2000]

Congrats with the baby jean. Love and power to the family.