Zepla reacts to JoCat's (NOT) Crap FFXIV Melee DPS Guide

Link to JoCat video: • A Crap Guide to Final ...
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[@trifontrifonov4297]

His "crap" guides are always actually just really good guides. His D&D class and rules guides are genuinely incredible. Also if you want to spend the rest of your day with a smile on your face, just look up JoCat "I like girls". It's a short song video.

[@JL-GHK]

It's kinda funny that JoCat is an Arcadium survivor

[@Akeche]

@@JL-GHK "Survivor"

[@danilooliveira6580]

only his Monster Hunter guide was a bit more crap, but after that he decided to make legit guides instead LOL

[@jesternario]

@@danilooliveira6580 Even his MH guides have some information that's useable.

[@ndsmario456]

@@jesternario Emphasis on some, considering his Charge Blade guide has like 5 seconds of useable information before its drowned out by overlapping voices. I almost wish he'd go back to make legit guides out of monster hunter, especially now that Rise Sunbreak is out.

[@larrytodaro8460]

I'm 75% certain Jo Cat first wrote that Reaper Spooky Slice song, then decided to make this Melee DPS video so he could end it with the song.

[@crypticcryptid4702]

Considering the speed he released the full version? I agree 100%

[@arkleuss]

then he released the full song after getting the VA of Zenos to do a line

[@christiantucker-allen7264]

@@arkleuss WOT

[@arkleuss]

@@christiantucker-allen7264 look up the full version of spooky slice. The voice actor of zenos made a line

[@sonicroze]

I hit 80 on Ninja. For muscle memory's sake, I have memorized the different Jutsus... but until he said it, I never noticed that the final button was all that mattered. I tested it out. Mind blown.

[@kenshinasakura3788]

I am with you, looking back at my muscle memory and he is rite, we put EVERY SINGLE COOLDOWN in 1 big burst then we just do the dagger combo until they come back lol

[@kidneystone699]

been playing NIN for 5 years now and i just found out about these not even a year ago 🙃

[@criticaljohnson]

Fucking same. Mind blown indeed

[@Murder_Hornet]

Right there with you. Definitely learned something new today.

[@Firehawk376]

I noticed it pretty quick, except I still suck at the class.

[@Silidirian]

A big reason they're called "crap guides" is because it's JoCat's "alternate self"; JoCrap

[@Kairamek]

I thought it was because the guides are secretly the shit.

[@hendreor.m6685]

yep. its the other Jo...

[@pforgottonsoul]

also maybe to show that they shouldn't be taken 100% seriously.

[@enlongjones2394]

But also the joke is that the guides are really irreverent and jokey, so it looks and sounds like some BS to start with. It’s only after watching them and getting the context that you realize they come from a pretty well-informed perspective.

[@jeanschyso]

I freaking jumped of joy when I saw a new Jocat video yesterday. This guy is the best.

[@lawrencebarber8583]

Same! I’m hoping this means physics and magic dps are up soon!

[@you1027]

You can tell these are genuine first-time reactions as Zep breaks the entire flow of segments with 3+ breakaway tangents before a punchline gets to land

[@ipKonfig]

"only the final mudra in the sequence matters.... /SIRENS ------ FUCK IT'S THE SKILL FLOW POLICE! CHEEZE IT!"

[@dirktesla7827]

Skill floor

[@TitanDraugen]

I still can't believe the savagery Jocat bashed at Urianger! XD

[@alicelufenia3648]

He's gotta remind the audience once in a while that the wiggler is in fact a villain and not nice 😆

[@ensanesane]

"the guy whose dialogue doth ye skip"

[@emilyredbird7497]

@@alicelufenia3648 Spoilers :(

[@vayalond7203]

And he did it again on a Viewer who asked "1 insult please" he went Ultimate on him

[@Dracobyte]

She was gone too soon! 😢

[@alicelufenia3648]

Thank you for acknowledging his musical genius! Instant classic indeed

[@YourLocalCryptid164]

the fact Jocat actually went out of his way to hire Zenos's VA to voice some lines for the Spooky Slice song is also really impressive and also funny

[@Khadharphak]

The video legit taught me how to measure positionals, I had been having a real tough time figuring out where the flank and rear ended til I saw his video

[@jonathanbaker4361]

Yeah I thought flank was south of the middle still

[@OkamiG15]

Little tip, the entirety of the rear/flank area counts for the positional, so what most people do is just stand right at the edge where rear/flank meet. That way when a rear comes up, you take one step to the left, and when a flank comes up you take one step to the right.

[@ColeBlueford]

@@OkamiG15 That strat works as long as you have a tank which stays firmly planted, but if you don't you're gonna miss a lot of positionals. Well.... _would have_ missed a lot of positionals, last I checked they had already removed most of them and it wouldn't surprise me if the rest were gone by the time I came back.

[@rbiii786]

For those wondering it is called a crap guide becuase the avatar explaining everything to you aka the wiggler king Is named JoCrap while the cat eared avatar is JoCat

[@wolfofsummerbreeze]

For some reason my initial response to this is: Do not speak the deep lore to me, I was there when it was written.

[@vintolio]

Zep commenting about it actually being helpful and not poor quality. "This isn't a crap guide" and all. Who's gonna tell her that these are called Crap Guides because they're 'run' by a character named JoCrap? I can't be the only one who sees this-

[@FiraDeviant]

what if his name is jocrap because he is the mascot of crap guides?

[@vintolio]

@@FiraDeviant then mascot'ing for the guides gives the CrapGuides a face and name to correspond to. These are the guides belonging to one Mr Crap.

[@ryanweible9090]

@@vintolio also jo himself seems like a friendly, nice guy, so "jocrap" is his extreme comic persona, basically a video game Dom Mazzetti and for people who haven't been following jo(and you should) he started with weapon guides for monster hunter and did some clever ones for d&d too. i also thing that if you try to come off as super authoritative, people online nitpick you, but if you kind of joke on yourself up front, people are more likely to just enjoy your guides for what they are. so that helps take off the "well actually" edge from the less socialized members of the parsing community.

[@evandavis5223]

Except he's been doing "A Crap Guide" for DnD for years now, before he started FFXIV

[@larrytodaro8460]

You, Vintolio yt, you will be the one who will be the teller of Zepla.

[@maracaegrizzley8734]

I hate to be the one to mention this... but FF's story DOES start with the protagonist waking up in a wagon while someone is talking to them...

[@Poldovico]

Twelve damn it.

[@nepspartan-7597]

Hey you! You're finally awake!

[@Honyakusha]

I'm not ashamed to say that i have a JoCat playlist now. "In love with a tyrant" "I Like Girls" "Spooky Slice"

[@kzorander8577]

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE PARTY'S FULL HEALTH WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE PARTY'S FULL HEALTH OR EVEN HALFWAY UP AND STANDING DPS THE BAD GUYS!

[@CBeavr]

don't forget "fighter-man"

[@AegixDrakan]

@@kzorander8577 I legit sing that song under my breath whenever I play a healer in any game now. XD

[@cparle87]

Jocat is canonically a D&D Bard. We've seen it. Check out his D&D races video which he just raps it the entire time. Or his wizard guide where he sings all their schools of magic.

[@sephjnr]

@@kzorander8577 NO, I DON'T PAY YOUR SUUUUUUUUUUUUUB

[@krise99391]

Honestly, this works pretty well if combined with Wesk Alber's guides, this helped me understand Monk a bit better

[@ikilledrobot]

"not everything is a tiddy and a nip-nop" - Zepla 2k22

[@SolidKirby]

17:04 There is something so genuine about Zepla's "Wow! :D" that brings me such joy. :)

[@gerritwiesner7489]

He did an actual song of the spooky slice. Absolutely amazing. You should check it out. 😁

[@fyreside891]

Fun Fact: they're actually called Crap Guides because the Narrator character's name is JoCrap, the character with the wiggler head and big stronk muscles

[@Alpacalips]

I hope Jocat releases a 3 min version of the song!

[@HenshinFanatic]

So a full re-lyric of "The Monster Mash"?

[@warlocksm1]

It's released

[@asa6am458]

I love how invested she was in the Reaper Monster Mash parody

[@nightshadesyrup1624]

"now i just sing the Reaper Song through out Dungeons"

[@PombaoDumau]

Jocat slaps. I never played any of this but love his videos

[@EG-wp9yj]

Great to see another Jocat video doing the rounds in the community.

[@kaiumiko9461]

I knew this reaction was coming and it was 100% worth it

[@tinticit]

Between this song and JoCat's Tataru Rap you have a A and B-side single!

[@Gwydion_Wolf]

I wish I knew that cheat-sheet for ninja earlier. Would have made leveling it to 90 easier 😅 Also.... can't wait for the ranged DPS guide..... I'm scared what he'll say about dancer... (my Main)

[@Jon_the_Wizard]

I wish the Reaper’s avatar was actually a bedsheet ghost now.

[@ace8519]

Zep plays reaper like Xeno plays warrior, "I just hold W brother"

[@Surkai25]

Jocat is absolutely amazing in his delivery and accuracy. Glad you did a react to this zep!

[@B_a_h]

Love jocat so much. He's judged a few glam fashion shows with Silvervale too and he is like a gear encyclopedia to boot

[@hopelessly.lavenderly]

why is this the first I've heard of this. I'm off to watch several hours of glam contests

[@toddvergith9485]

Omg I've been waiting for your reaction to this! It's hilarious 😂

[@Lrbearclaw]

11:46 - Clearly you never watched Jocat's D&D guides. Yes. They are LEGIT guides in the form of a joke so everyone has fun and laughs because they know it is true.

[@kellevichy]

0 reason to be rude. Clearly.

[@kane-111]

@@kellevichy True, so stop being rude.

[@Don_DeMarco]

I love Monk! I sure wish we had a Hadoken we could use at any time.

[@user-pi8pi3wj7h]

Enlightenment?

[@Don_DeMarco]

@@user-pi8pi3wj7h What I meant is a range attack that we could nearly spam. Like how if a Dragoon is too far away from the enemy, they can toss their spear every 2 seconds? I want something, like Enlightenment, but what we can cast every 2 seconds. I think we have to fulfill certain requirements to use Enlightenment.

[@Nazo-kage]

For anybody who don’t know already. Jocat has released the full version of ‘the spooky slice’ song

[@cutecats532]

At the billboard event I handed out cookies and juice. Gunna maybe try to do that for this lunacon too. Looks fun!

[@Kitsune-gs7fm]

Jocat guide's are the most hilarious videos and also im sure even a 5yr old could play a class from watching jocat videos

[@madmarduk1936]

One of the best things about picking ff14 back up is that Zella videos show up in my feed again.

[@KLGChaos]

I'm actually on Bryn and did not know Lunarcon was a thing. Will have to check it out.

[@Cuthawolf]

JoCat's my freaking hero, for real.

[@Raionhardt]

Fun fact, monk using meditate for chakra stacks maths out to 68 potency (1sec recast) which ends up being better than even dragoon's shitty spear throw (130 potency 2.4-2.5s recast). Monk mobility/uptime is actually way better than drg. Also the third combo doesn't matter which combination is, although you typically want your 1-1-1 bootshine dragon kick combo

[@woot2111]

JoCat recently released a stand-alone music video for the full Spooky Slice song. Just an FYI in case you missed it.

[@ryan13chs]

one of the best perks I got when I bought my mechanical keyboard... WASD+QER are all black cast iron

[@dingding12321]

The trick as DRG is to jump out a couple seconds before the cast ends, then jump IN immediately as it's ending like a boss

[@adjwindu70]

11:03 as a cat boy currently using his monk to get moogle tokens, can confirm

[@enlongjones2394]

Yeah, the Crap Guide series surprises people a lot because they’re actually pretty darn informative and make a lot of sense if you have the context of the stuff he’s talking about. He’s done guides for Monster Hunter weapons and D&D before this (among other things). They’re called “crap guide”, I assume, because they’re really irreverent and comedic rather than giving a *full* in-depth guide to the stuff being talked about. And yet, they still have relevant information that really sticks in the brain *because* of the comedy. Also the wiggler-headed character got referred to as Jocrap, as the mascot of the crap guides.

[@RabidJohn]

He ought to put that out as Victor 'Jocat' Quibbles & the Soulcleaver Five. Lovely parody of an already comedic classic.

[@Krescentwolf]

The one joke FF14 has for DRGs.... yes... Because us DRGs love hearing the same joke every day for 10+ years XD

[@wolfspledge1762]

It began in XI so some people have been hearing it for over 20 years, though it's kinda justified

[@Krescentwolf]

@@wolfspledge1762 I was an FF11 DRG. I remember. And justified or not... get some new material... please! XD That dead horse is literally fossilized and they're still beating it.

[@Zakjuh]

One day it'll finally become funny. For sure.

[@SilverionX]

@@Zakjuh Nothing is funnier than endless repetition of course. My dad told the same dad joke a number of times a year as long as we lived at home and now I can't wait to tortu... I mean enlighten my children with the same joke, over and over again.

[@HexJK]

still waiting for jocat to put spooky slice on spotify or soundcloud going straight to my workout playlist

[@janreidarhavn6040]

Always thought reaper gauge was the Batmobile filling up on maxagaz to go faster. pssst don't mind the sentient black smoke cloud left behind. its okay it's environmentally friendly. xD

[@kookieslayer]

Joe cats crap guides are some of the best concise guides out there. His Crap guide to Monster Hunter are amazing.

[@Lorekeeper_GGuy]

You should check out his other guides for Tank, Healer, and general DPS

[@kzorander8577]

I know she's seen them because I remember the fast pace always stresses her out 😂

[@Lorekeeper_GGuy]

@@kzorander8577 Huh, I got the impression that she hadn’t considering her surprise that it was an actual guide

[@bLuGhOsT_]

@@Lorekeeper_GGuy she just playing it up for the lols

[@darth_yoda]

Just here to see Zep's reaction to the Spooky song XD XD Also Zep! are we going to get a reaction video to the FULL Spooky Ghost video that JoCat have released? :P

[@toreba]

I leveled monk to 90 and didn’t even know about the 3 separate type of tokens at once. Also, had no idea I could pause my cooldowns, holy hell.

[@raulrivera7861]

9:29 is when i realized that the trash can drawing has Bionicle arms... Gold Drawing 10/10

[@inkblotCrisis]

Oh god, ranged dps has Bard. What manner of ear worm will JoCat make for THAT?!

[@HenshinFanatic]

Plot twist: the ear worm won't be for BRD but MCH.

[@unabashedlybroken6789]

Spooky slice is forever etched into my brain now

[@jfalk6500]

i picked up ninja after watching jocat's vid and the trustty knowledge that the last mudra is the "only" important one really saves me stress

[@yorukage5926]

6:29 Her: "wait is this a guide?" Also her: is watching a video called "Crap GUIDE"

[@AaronWGaming]

JoeCat Missed an opportunity for O Mae Wo Shinderu

[@speechless05]

Lol I love how the chat was complaining about ads during the samurai part when it literally is that when you’re doing that skill for samurai

[@ExRazR]

5:25 - and thats why you buy double shot keycaps instead of printed ones ;)

[@kairynedetal]

Blaugrana means Blue and garnet in catalonian

[@DevilSeiji]

This one is sooooo good.

[@VirtuesOfSin]

To answer your question about the "crawlers" (cloths?), it's a Monster Hunter fashion. Pretty sure that's the armorless armor. xD

[@skibrymhabor2440]

I find it hilarious that every reaction vid I've watched as soon as they read the WASD line they immediately check their keyboard. I did too tbh. Lol

[@AStrangeWindmill]

Zepla's gonna fuck around and make Todd Howard make Skyrim playable on Omega.

[@maniac7770]

I mean, if you look at things and squint really hard, Skyrim in XIV already happened, that was just Heavensward.

[@samifranco5541]

the dragoon leap jump stuff that say is risky is called a delay is when the game didnt register that you moved youre character out of the way of the damage area in time even if it looked like it did, due me living in south america i have a small delay whit all my jobs so i have to move out of time to actually dodge the damage is a pain but once you figure out the timing is great, it had nothing to do whit lag

[@Poldovico]

Well, in your case it's literally lag, but also the way the game calculates a DRG jump is that you are still where you jumped from until you have fully landed at your destination.

[@animegx45]

Fun fact: If you're playing ninja and you cast Ten Ten Jin Chi Jin Ten Chi Chi Jin Chi Ten Jin Jin Chi Ten Jin, You'll unlock the Spooky Slice in the game's soundtrack.

[@rathorrath401]

That samurai was super intense

[@ingolf82]

it's funny, my A key looks like Zepla's W, I wonder why the A key is so worn. JoCat uploaded the spooky slice song too, so there is a video of it, it has the Zenos voice actor doing a line too.

[@Dracobyte]

Amazing reaction to the JoeCat video!!!

[@Shinyrelic]

Jocat maintains his reputation as a max level bard.

[@photomatt11]

FFXIV 7.0 Starfield

[@bp2288]

I had to go check, ad I learned that JoCat's channel has a full version of Spooky Slice and all is right with the world

[@jasonthomas7909]

Right okay but in all seriousness an Elder Scrolls crossover event would be incredible. We could get a Shadowmare mount. Or the horned Iron helmet that everyone associates with Skyrim. Or maybe a dragoon armor inspired by Alduin

[@Poldovico]

Oh dear. We could defeat Alduin in FFXIV like the Rathalos hunt. And the game starts with us waking up on a carriage to some dude talking to us. That would essentially be a Skyrim port into FFXIV.

[@Shiftry87]

15:41 Is Zepla playing Sekiro? Am i missing something here becouse that is obviously a reference to Sekiro Shadows Die Twice but i cant find any clips of her playing it.

[@Necr0e1]

the song gets me everytime

[@ParticleBomb]

I'm a Miqo'te monk and have been since the ARR days :D

[@dylian407]

Jocat made a full song out of the Spooky Slice

[@AoifeForrester]

It's called a Crap Guide because that character at the end (who is also the narrator) is called JoCrap (who is obviously very different from JoCat). These are guides were JoCat lets JoCrap (who sounds suspiciously like JoCat) use his channel to post them.

[@fenrisfalcon5648]

Confirmed by zepla. Spooky slice is final fantasies diggy diggy hole.

[@BWA85]

The CRAP guide is because his name is "JoCrap - King of the Wigglers." JoCat is merely the vessel for JoCrap (and his chiseled Abs).

[@magicowl573]

I remember when I first found jocat in 2018 for mhw, now I'm thinking of buying a pc in order to play ff14

[@Winter_RainDT]

LUUUUNARCON!

[@dragonriderabens9761]

So it begins

[@giorgiomauceri410]

Great reaction!

[@omnipotentgaming166]

SPOOKY SLICE 👻😂😂😂😂 I freaking love it

[@jasperhighwind6119]

LOL! That Lina Inverse reference in the ninjutsu. Almost NO ONE will get that! JoCat is one of MINE, kiddos! Muahahahahaha!

[@UnashamedlyHentai]

I'm pretty sure jump (including elusive jump) tracks actual position through the jump. it doesn't teleport you from the start to the end when you land. If the aoe disappears when you're halfway through your jump, then if that halfway point is inside the aoe, you're still in it. i've been caught by this before attempting to jump _across_ an (both start and end outside the aoe) but still got hit because it went off as i passed through it.

[@peendos2575]

correct, you may think about the jump as just any instant movement ability, take for example ninja, they are not teleporting but instead they are 'sliding' to the location. Same applies here, your hitbox is 'sliding' during the jump and may be out of the aoe mid-jump and save you from being hit

[@KittenKatja]

5:25 My X, C, and Down Arrow (each, not together) are more gone than your W, but I also don't play FFXIV but Brawlhalla. It looks more like my Left Arrow and the bottom right of the right shift together. (I have long nails)

[@Agk3los]

5:30 Using WASD to play an MMO when everyone knows that EDSF is far superior as it gives access to a greater number of easily reached hotkeys for max deeps.

[@txmits507]

Hitting Ctrl is so much more annoying shifted over a row.

[@marcusalm7350]

Earth Defense Special Forces?

[@VaktheFox]

Person in the chat like "How is Raptor a bird?" like...my fellow. Falcons. Hawks. Eagles...birds of prey. They're also...called...RAPTORS."

[@DeepbloodFang]

srsly, monks ranged attack should be a hadouken.

[@grabthebagnow]

wait I didn't notice on my first watch; the alexander hands are bionicle

[@truthless4720]

The reason for the Lenny face is that there's a thing called "bad dragon". Look it up, the joke will make sense.

[@MichaelIbsenGuitar]

Todd Howard is like the anti-yoshi P when it comes to content cadence.

[@hortehighwind8651]

SPOOKY SLICE Additional comments: I think monk is good for now and probably next expansion too.