Is there a part 2?

Movie name ?

First, I want to express appreciation for your content. It's extremely rare for someone with OCPD to explain the thinking and also to be fair with the distribution of accountability. Your videos have helped me a lot. I've hung on a bit longer because of it. I understand the underlying internal pressure and good intentions that so often underlie the words and actions of people struggling with an internal compass that's so dialed in on true North that it can't alter course even if there's a mountain in the way. I feel sad for anyone who always seems so deeply unhappy. I 100% want to make it clear that aside from helping the spouse understand, your content is a great tool. You've said it yourself that it is meant to help under the conditions that the OCPD person is receptive to what probably feels like unbearable criticism, and the place they occupy on the symptom spectrum leaves a bit of room for introspection and the desire to make their spouse feel better. My spouse isn't that person. He can't or won't go there. At least, not for my sake. So now I'm leaving my very, very long testimony for other spouses of pw/ocpd in hopes it's helpful to see that it's not all in their head, and that they aren’t the only person who stays because out of all personality disorders, I think this one is the most murky and heartbreaking in the stay-or-leave arena. Read on if you need that kind of validation. Remember, this is about someone with OCPD who has absolutely refused at least 25 opportunities to listen and cooperate. This isn't representative of someone who has benefitted from the insights on this channel. It's been 30 years. I've tried so hard, I've suffered in silence, I've stopped asking for my needs to be met, I've put everything about myself in last place. My mental and physical health is in ruins. I've done a lot of talking, a lot of reading and strategizing, learning to live not just without hearing praise, but with a troubling sense that there's actually active disdain looking out from those eyes, that he won't confirm or deny, although it seems a fairly easy question to answer and I've begged for honesty, feeling constantly watched, scrutinized, judged as lacking while hearing 'goodnight, love you' as the once daily indicator I'm not unwanted and unwelcome, riding out dozens of tantrums, feeling like an uncouth visitor in my own home, setting and resetting and reiterating boundaries, I haven't seen an ounce of lasting change or actually even a willingness to adjust. No compromises, no openness to therapy. I've warned him more times than I can count that I am no longer able to do the heavy lifting and that my soul is exhausted. I can't live with someone whose constant commentary about me is hyperdramatic, disgusted, loud, angry, cruel, and dismissive. I have put up with coercive financial control, emotional abuse, and painful manipulation. All of my efforts to help, to be a better partner, to plead with the just right mix of flawless logic, calm, and noncritical words are met with contempt and silence. Five minutes later, once the OCPD facet of his mind is satisfied that control is still intact, it's sunshine and roses. Until the next thing comes along to trigger, and the cycle reboots. When a person can't accept anything in life as-is without seeing something that should be fixed, that cycle repeats pretty often. Now, mix the way I feel with the understanding that this is not a bad man. Not an evil person at all, intelligent, hard working, accomplished, law abiding, funny sense of humor, excellent pronlem solver. Quite a lovely person, just so long as everything is within the quality limits he holds in his mind and there is no monetary cost involved. The result is that I have been living in a mindf*ck of self-doubt and self-loathing, guilt and shame, but also festering anger, offended dignity, hope, empathy, and optimism that just won't die, and loving perseverance that inevitably leads to despair. I think the worst part of it is, he's not going to understand. He's going to feel betrayed. He won't be able to hear that it's not that I want to leave, but that it's literally that I can't stay. I'm too old and too broken down physically and mentally for my home to be an emotional war zone. I have come to understand that he indeed does view me as some kind of annoying but loyal pet, a sad, incompetent failure in need of his guidance and protection. I know that he's here more out of obligation instead of affection. So I'm going to set him free from that oath by being the screw up, the loser, the villain, just once more, by breaking the contract. I don't mind taking that blame, I've been doing it for 30 years. I feel like the Lorax from Dr. Seuss, who tried for so long to speak for the trees, but who eventually had to let go and walk away. I'm not even angry anymore. I'm just done. I'm leaving. It's always been his way or the highway. His way makes me feel subhuman, so I'm going to check out the highway now. I hope my story is at least validating for someone in a relationship with a person with ocpd. If any pw/ocpd has read down to this point, please take it seriously. I have absolutely no reason to lie. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm not calling my husband out, I'm not trying to look saintly, I 'm far from being one. Ask yourself if your loved one has been showing signs of distress, particularly asking you to stop criticizing or micromanaging. Asking if you view them as childlike or incapable. Begging you to not be so angry about things, go to therapy together, or respect their boundaries, no matter how peculiar. Consider if there's a hidden cost to your behavior that someone else is paying. Consider if it's worth it to be right, or to have things be done in the right way, if it means your partner has to dwell in pain.

Thank you for posting.

VIDEOS BY PEOPLE WITH OCPD Darryl: youtube.com/@OCPD_support/videos Taiese: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lWTGcnuPZcuDpZI Eden: youtube.com/@EdenV Emma: youtube.com/@emmanxiety5850 Mark: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jX7TXoOFeaeih6s (see timestamps) Andrei: kzbin.info/www/bejne/imLCnZR3lNxop5o Natalia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oIjciYGOeM-obtk May: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eXjceqaEhrebfaM Nicolasa: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGTdhqN9f69giZo Jacob: kzbin.info/www/bejne/g6HUeIKgd72Ze6M Desiree: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnm2foWAj7Wtqa8 (trigger warning: SA) Molly: youtube.com/@youseemnormal Shannon: youtube.com/@TheOCPDCoach Jose: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aWGlp318eb2Xq8U Olivia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZ-UlYaAnpygra8 Abbey: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYGykmB4g9SLadE (brief mention of OCPD), kzbin.info/www/bejne/mWS1eXl8ncppo5o

VIDEOS BY PEOPLE WITH OCPD Darryl: youtube.com/@OCPD_support/videos Taiese: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lWTGcnuPZcuDpZI Eden: youtube.com/@EdenV Emma: youtube.com/@emmanxiety5850 Mark: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jX7TXoOFeaeih6s (see timestamps) Andrei: kzbin.info/www/bejne/imLCnZR3lNxop5o Natalia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oIjciYGOeM-obtk May: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eXjceqaEhrebfaM Nicolasa: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGTdhqN9f69giZo Jacob: kzbin.info/www/bejne/g6HUeIKgd72Ze6M Desiree: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnm2foWAj7Wtqa8 (trigger warning: SA) Molly: youtube.com/@youseemnormal Shannon: youtube.com/@TheOCPDCoach Jose: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aWGlp318eb2Xq8U Olivia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZ-UlYaAnpygra8 Abbey: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYGykmB4g9SLadE (brief mention of OCPD), kzbin.info/www/bejne/mWS1eXl8ncppo5o

VIDEOS BY PEOPLE WITH OCPD Darryl: youtube.com/@OCPD_support/videos Taiese: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lWTGcnuPZcuDpZI Eden: youtube.com/@EdenV Emma: youtube.com/@emmanxiety5850 Mark: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jX7TXoOFeaeih6s (see timestamps) Andrei: kzbin.info/www/bejne/imLCnZR3lNxop5o Natalia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oIjciYGOeM-obtk May: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eXjceqaEhrebfaM Nicolasa: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGTdhqN9f69giZo Jacob: kzbin.info/www/bejne/g6HUeIKgd72Ze6M Desiree: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnm2foWAj7Wtqa8 (trigger warning: SA) Molly: youtube.com/@youseemnormal Shannon: youtube.com/@TheOCPDCoach Jose: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aWGlp318eb2Xq8U Olivia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZ-UlYaAnpygra8 Abbey: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYGykmB4g9SLadE (brief mention of OCPD), kzbin.info/www/bejne/mWS1eXl8ncppo5o

VIDEOS BY PEOPLE WITH OCPD Darryl: youtube.com/@OCPD_support/videos Taiese: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lWTGcnuPZcuDpZI Eden: youtube.com/@EdenV Emma: youtube.com/@emmanxiety5850 Mark: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jX7TXoOFeaeih6s (see timestamps) Andrei: kzbin.info/www/bejne/imLCnZR3lNxop5o Natalia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oIjciYGOeM-obtk May: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eXjceqaEhrebfaM Nicolasa: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGTdhqN9f69giZo Jacob: kzbin.info/www/bejne/g6HUeIKgd72Ze6M Desiree: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnm2foWAj7Wtqa8 (trigger warning: SA) Molly: youtube.com/@youseemnormal Shannon: youtube.com/@TheOCPDCoach Jose: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aWGlp318eb2Xq8U Olivia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZ-UlYaAnpygra8 Abbey: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYGykmB4g9SLadE (brief mention of OCPD), kzbin.info/www/bejne/mWS1eXl8ncppo5o

VIDEOS BY PEOPLE WITH OCPD Darryl: youtube.com/@OCPD_support/videos Taiese: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lWTGcnuPZcuDpZI Eden: youtube.com/@EdenV Emma: youtube.com/@emmanxiety5850 Mark: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jX7TXoOFeaeih6s (see timestamps) Andrei: kzbin.info/www/bejne/imLCnZR3lNxop5o Natalia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oIjciYGOeM-obtk May: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eXjceqaEhrebfaM Nicolasa: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGTdhqN9f69giZo Jacob: kzbin.info/www/bejne/g6HUeIKgd72Ze6M Desiree: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnm2foWAj7Wtqa8 (trigger warning: SA) Molly: youtube.com/@youseemnormal Shannon: youtube.com/@TheOCPDCoach Jose: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aWGlp318eb2Xq8U Olivia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZ-UlYaAnpygra8 Abbey: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYGykmB4g9SLadE (brief mention of OCPD), kzbin.info/www/bejne/mWS1eXl8ncppo5o

VIDEOS BY PEOPLE WITH OCPD Darryl: youtube.com/@OCPD_support/videos Taiese: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lWTGcnuPZcuDpZI Eden: youtube.com/@EdenV Emma: youtube.com/@emmanxiety5850 Mark: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jX7TXoOFeaeih6s (see timestamps) Andrei: kzbin.info/www/bejne/imLCnZR3lNxop5o Natalia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oIjciYGOeM-obtk May: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eXjceqaEhrebfaM Nicolasa: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGTdhqN9f69giZo Jacob: kzbin.info/www/bejne/g6HUeIKgd72Ze6M Desiree: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnm2foWAj7Wtqa8 (trigger warning: SA) Molly: youtube.com/@youseemnormal Shannon: youtube.com/@TheOCPDCoach Jose: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aWGlp318eb2Xq8U Olivia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZ-UlYaAnpygra8 Abbey: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYGykmB4g9SLadE (brief mention of OCPD), kzbin.info/www/bejne/mWS1eXl8ncppo5o

VIDEOS BY PEOPLE WITH OCPD Taiese: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lWTGcnuPZcuDpZI Eden: youtube.com/@EdenV Emma: youtube.com/@emmanxiety5850 Mark: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jX7TXoOFeaeih6s (see timestamps) Andrei: kzbin.info/www/bejne/imLCnZR3lNxop5o Natalia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oIjciYGOeM-obtk May: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eXjceqaEhrebfaM Nicolasa: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGTdhqN9f69giZo Jacob: kzbin.info/www/bejne/g6HUeIKgd72Ze6M Desiree: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mnm2foWAj7Wtqa8 (trigger warning: SA) Molly: youtube.com/@youseemnormal Shannon: youtube.com/@TheOCPDCoach Jose: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aWGlp318eb2Xq8U Olivia: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZ-UlYaAnpygra8 Abbey: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYGykmB4g9SLadE (brief mention of OCPD), kzbin.info/www/bejne/mWS1eXl8ncppo5o

GENERAL DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR PERSONALITY DISORDERS: A. An enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior the deviates markedly from the expectations of the individual's culture. This pattern is manifested in two (or more) of the following areas: Cognition (i.e., ways of perceiving and interpreting self, other people and events) Affectivity (i.e., the range, intensity, liability, and appropriateness of emotional response) Interpersonal functioning Impulse control C. The enduring pattern leads to clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. D. The pattern is stable and of long duration, and its onset can be traced back at least to adolescence or early adulthood. [Providers generally define long duration as five years or more]. E. The enduring pattern is not better accounted for as a manifestation or consequence of another mental disorder. F. The enduring pattern is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., head trauma). DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR OCPD: Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder is a pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following: 1. Is preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost. 2. Shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion (e.g., is unable to complete a project because his or her own overly strict standards are not met). 3. Is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships (not accounted for by obvious economic necessity). 4. Is overconscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values (not accounted for by cultural or religious identification). 5. Is unable to discard worn-out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value. [least common trait] 6. Is reluctant to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things. 7. Adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes. 8. Shows rigidity and stubbornness. The essential feature of obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is a preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency. This pattern begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts.

Some providers guides for their clinical interview when they evaluate clients for OCPD: The Structured Clinical Interview for DSM-5 Personality Disorders (SCID-5-PD), The International Personality Disorder Examination (IPDE), The Structured Interview for DSM-IV Personality (SIDP), and the Diagnostic Interview for Personality Disorders (DIPD). Clients may complete The Millon Clinical Multiaxial Inventory (MCMI), The Personality Assessment Inventory (PAI), The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI-3), The Personality Diagnostic Questionnaire-4 (PDQ-4), or The Compulsive Personality Assessment Scale (CPAS). The Pathological Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Scale (POPS) screening survey: ocpd.org/ocpd-pops-test. Mental health providers consider a total score of 178 or higher as indicating that an OCPD evaluation is needed.

Thank you, Daryl! Some of the posts on FB and Reddit are so disturbing.

Damn, you got me with the comments about the distrust with therapists. All it took was one sentence in that session for me to complete check out forever

It’s exhausting though. My ENTIRE life has been about bending over and molding myself to appease this person and their need for extreme control. Sure I love them, they’re my parent and they have some nice personality traits outside of OCPD when nothing is triggering them… but I am exhausted. Now they have lots of triggers causing them to spiral and they are making it everyone’s problem, refusing any sort of help whatsoever, and acting truly helpless and pathetic- to the point that they would quite literally waste away in bed if allowed. All they need to do is stop being so negative about everything- something they tried to pound into my skull- but they refuse because “oh woe is me my life is temporarily imperfect and therefore existence is pain.” It is impossible to deal with.

Half of this video was an intro. 😅

A classmate has OCPD and it is EXHAUSTING trying to collaborate with her. We do drama- theatre studies so just imagine. She needs everything to be done HER way, and if you disagree she goes to personal attack you. She makes everyone feel bad, and she dictates everything. She gets angry if you try to argue with her, or if you have your own ideas about how to do something

I was recently diagnosed but was constantly searching for the reason I always felt different and hated that malign feeling. I was bullied throughout my life, I too, lost many people close to me in the span of 4 years. I’d go to school to be bullied then return home to the hatred of not being good enough and either working out to exhaustion to look the way I expected myself to look or I’d find other ways to tear myself down for not being enough. Little did I know that throughout those years I was solidifying the tenacity of OCPD over my entire being. Now, I don’t have any friends. I rarely feel like I’m good enough and even when I do it’s like I’m searching for rain clouds when the sky is clear. I appreciate you speaking on your journey with this as it shows me that I’m not “suffering” alone.

4 1/2 minutes into this he still has not gotten to the point but yet he states he’s working on shorter video entries, here’s one for you don’t let someone with OCD personality type waste your time

i’m 21 and stuck in a house with my dad who was abusive & also has OCPD thanks to OCPD. my social worker is often busy and i feel too vulnerable and useless to do anything good enough on my own. i really want help effective help that doesn’t bother the people around me. i don’t want to be a bad person. i don’t know what to do

I think Schmidt from New Girl is a good example of someone with OCPD

Please, don’t. Just pick yourself up and walk away.

I appreciate your insights Shannon.

It’s so good to see you again. I’ve missed learning about OCPD. This work is so important, so thank you for your time and efforts.

Hi -- can you tell me what camera you use -- the image quality is great.

My OCPD does extreme sports and is on a strict diet. He does yoga 2-3x a week. It doesn’t help. 😢

I might be in the minority, but relating to a vast majority of these symptoms has me encouraged (and dare I say, excited) to dive in deeper, to unravel everything that has felt "wrong" about the way I go about life and look at things with a healthier and hopefully more accepting/joyful perspective, thank you.

One of my alters (I have diagnosed DID) and my mom show constant behaviours in OCPD and it has created a huge impact in all areas of life. Thank you for dedicating your channel for lived experience knowledge and understanding. It means a lot to us. - Presley

My father also had OCPD, so I had to learn how to deal with him.

I did all you have said for over 20 years. 1000 percent i did this. But things were only calm when he was my focus. I was losing myself. My life on the backburner. No one will understand unless theyve been through this. We are divorced but im watching this video because I still worry about him and to know that there are others like me who left and grappling with the grief. I am still there him and support him in many ways. On good days he is grateful on bad days i get expletives. My thoughts and prayers to everyone going through this.

<3

Okay so with the subtypes i relate most to conscientious for sure, bit also I'm very cheap, unwilling to share and yeah maybe hoard a bit so a bit of parsimonious. I was a bit confused with bedevilled, i can b passive aggressive for sure and have trouble making decisions and moving forward. Also puritanical but i like to think I'm not judgemental to others because that's against my rules lol. It's a bitter pill to swallow thinking that u r a hypocrite, i am one in ways for sure

I'm scared that i might have this. My therapist gave me a diagnostic impression of BPD and ADHD but I'm not sure she's correct. I also identify with DPD. I can recognize OCPD in my dad and sister too. I don't know if I'm as bad as them, i do doubt myself quite a bit, i don't think I'm always right. I definitely do have sky high standards for myself and i know it's worse for others when they're closer to me, it's like the standards start to bleed over onto them as well, not sure if I'm explaining that well. I'm crap at teaching people because i have no patience and i have kids so yeah it comes up quite a bit. I hope i can do better

The rants are irrational 😵‍💫 It breaks my heart that my loved one has this issue. But it is so clear that she has OCPD 😢 I found that if I join her rant and then I slow down she will join me in slowing down😢

My 22 year old son was diagnosed with OCPD after his second stay in the hospital for suicidal idealization. His anxiety and OCPD is so bad, he is housebound. Everything you describe resonates with how he describes he is feeling. I plan on educating myself as much as possible. Thank you!

I was dating someone diagnosed with OCPD and he was brilliant. However, he would tell me I was, "too good to be true." He put me on a pedestal to one day push me off and watch me completely break.

Thank you 😊. Hope you're doing well these days

Are you in Medellin Colombia in this video❤?

Hi! I'm currenlty in confusion wheter i possibly has OCD or ODCP, as I have both symptomps and aware i have at least one of them. The thing is, I need everythin in most efficient way possible but i procasinate a lot, which in fact is OCPD but i also been told from my firends i have bad case os OCD, as I always check something too much. I will check my mail like 10 times before i send,a nd even then ill check again. I want to seek treatment but I'm not allowed to go to either psychiatrist and therapist, so i'm doing my best to try to be better at least a bit until i can afford myself. I know i can't self diagnose, but i'm going crazy at this rate, just the thought of playing game not in order/efficiently will make my mind go crazy. For example, playing new games/studying new topics, i have to do it on Monday/First day of the month, If somehow i miss it (becasue i procasinate) i will have to redo it next week or month all over again, no matter if i already finishe dhalf of it. If i miss something in game i have the urge to redo all over again, to the point where its driving me crazy. I don't know what to do, and I'm really stressed

Your intro is all the summary one needs of what it's like to be in love with someone ocpd.... 3000 words to say 30 important ones

The need to control the narrative comes thru from the get-go. The ppl-pleaser too. Justifying endlessly, mired in minutia to the point of procrastination..... And I could see how this might be seen as a target by bullies.

Huge thank you for creating this channel -Psychology student, searching for people's experiences with a disorder :)

Thanks bro, well done, wonderful, no need to apologise for length, couldn't hear background noise so all good. Much thanks.

Thank you for doing this work and putting this information in a video that I understand. My bf recently moved in and he is exhibiting a struggling. He needs every shoe in the cubby or it really gets to him. He sees it as me not respecting him. And of course the list is really long. It’s not just the shoes. The longer he lives here the more I find myself changing how I do things. And I am fine if it is a compromise. But typically when we compromise he ends up struggle to be ok with it. It has to be His way or he literally goes into a funk or a temper tantrum. Neither are fun to deal with. The last 48 hours he has been upset 5 times. Makes it hard for me to be my happy-go-lucky self.

Has anyone else been diagnosed with ocpd and later found out they are also autistic? It’s difficult to find much info but the little bit I’ve gathered they seem to overlap often

Thanks!

Thanks for the video. So much that I can relate to.

Very good points. I didn't bring up OCPD to my spouse. I called out the comorbid depression and said that I couldn't watch him suffer to this degree anymore. He could go for an evaluation and try to start helping himself, or he could live alone. I have my own psych diagnoses and knew that any psychiatrist worth their diploma would screen for personality disorders once the depression started to resolve, and that is exactly what happened. It took changing doctors 5 or 6 times to crack the denial, plus me getting pretty blunt and consistent with calling out ocpd behaviors in the moment they were happening at home to get him to finally acknowledge that this label, as distasteful and stigmatizing as it is, is still the best description of the problem patterns that we've got because it leads to the most effective, targeted treatment. It's still a battle every day and many things haven't improved, there are still phases where he gets caught in denial again, but it waa also 100% worth convincing him to get help. Not necessarily because i have an easier time, but because he certainly does, at least when he's actively working on it.

Personality disorder (like skin or bone sickness) It a lense thought whichi see the world ( true or false) I have ocpd It's a filter of my thoughts I am never wrong ( rigidity ) The matrix Work over life ( perfectionism) Angry argumantative pessemistic anxious The lives of thise around him is a hell life. Success rate is low Divorce and suicidale rate is high