Disordered Discussions with May (an OCPD conversation) Part 2

[@capoeiristachik1]

Digging the graphics and dialogue! I do notice that when I have a support system, my mental health improves exponentially. But, I often struggle to maintain one so that’s something I have to be patient with. I think May’s theory is well supported in The Body Keeps the Score. Their description is that trauma is caused by the mental shock of your mind telling you to run while simultaneously telling you to stay, which would explain why childhood betrayal can play such a heavy role. Also thank you for the advice on finding a therapist. It’s interesting how every therapist I had taught me different things to move forward with. They are each very unique. I will focus more on how we get along.

[@OCPD_support]

capoeiristachik1 thanks for mentioning The Body Keeps the Score. I will hunt that down. And that is an interesting benefit to trying different therapists, in that you end up with different tools to use.

[@capoeiristachik1]

@@OCPD_support awesome, super excited to see how it informs your work :]

[@OCPD_support]

@@capoeiristachik1 me too :)

[@rossgeography]

@13:00 so true reliant on an adult/care-giver that is either frightened or frightening (and even frightened parents can appear frightening to a child) or a tension is set up between fight and flight at the same time so maybe you go into an animal response : freeze, hide, avoid, submit (meanwhile your brain may also 'split' into conscious and subconscious - or parts (see IFS below))

[@rossgeography]

@@Pepperstein we are in the main, speaking of a defence-less child

[@OCPD_support]

@@rossgeography a parent that doesn't demonstrate some level of being in control is an absolute disaster for a child. Nothing is scarier than having a parent that appears to not know what they're doing.

[@LarsLondian]

Excellent job covering a broad scope of things, I have enjoyed hearing from May and her experiences going through life and her experience with getting help. Looking forward to the next part. 🤔 hopefully my battery makes it ¿? Ahh! You do an awesome job and the battery interruption is way more of an issue while recording than on the viewing side. Take Care L.L.

[@OCPD_support]

Lars London thank you very much for the feedback. This was the final video with May, but there is a first video if you missed that one. New interviews are up this week.

[@karineroumache9124]

Oh dear, this video is again so much in line with what I wrote to you, Darryl. This is the struggle. The second group that you mention in the end, who expect a solution from the outside without putting in the work, although there Is no magic solution. I chose not to watch it before I wrote because I was afraid to delay more because the more I watched your videos, the more I had things to say but my message was already so long... Thanks to you two, that was top 👍👏

[@OCPD_support]

Karine Roumache we both appreciate the comments so much.

[@karineroumache9124]

@@OCPD_support thank you. I'll come back ! Looking forward to... Just have a lot on my plate these days ☺️

[@OCPD_support]

@@karineroumache9124 very understandable. I never imagined these videos would run so long when I came up with the idea to produce them.

[@autismenlightenment]

Really no comments! I'll be the first...thank you for this interview. Dissociation is something I deal with for sure.I'd love to find a helpful therapist.i have multiple disorders. im moving next month and I praying can find some one to help me. I thought my ocpd was be cause of my autism but I was abused as a child and I can see that playing a huge role. That person was disorders themselves and I choose to forgive them.

[@rossgeography]

well maybe you skipped the in between rage piece and need to work through that and release it. I am finding the work of Dick Schwartz Internal Family Systems very useful; if you can find an IFS therapist I think they would help you understand that while one part of you can forgive your abuser, there are other parts (and dysfunctional protectors (OCPD behaviours perhaps - like overworking to numb them, keep busy, keep me distracted from my pain)) that need to be heard and listened to (they're called exiles). I'll try to post an intro to IFS as I mentioned it to friend yesterday, hold on..

[@rossgeography]

Dick Schwartz on IFS kzbin.info/www/bejne/epW9i2qpib1rapI

[@rossgeography]

he was also on Tim Ferris's Podcast #492 kzbin.info/www/bejne/m5OvfpiEntqie9E

[@autismenlightenment]

@@rossgeography thanks I will try to look into it when I get the chance.

[@OCPD_support]

@@rossgeography thanks for sharing those links.

[@rossgeography]

so the response to external chaos is INTERNAL control - really interesting insight (yes because if you get stuff wrong, or don't take care you COULD get criticised or rejected)

[@rossgeography]

so because you were betrayed, you aim for PERFECTION because anything less is BETRAYAL of yourself - but of course you never attain that, the idea of better than balance is making the standard unrelenting and too high (like raising the high jump bar ). And if you do achieve along the way, you discount those achievements and think 'that was easy, anyone should be able to that' ! - you can't win.

[@OCPD_support]

@@rossgeography discounting achievements isn't something I've dug into, but I think that bears a deeper dive. That's a trap too many people fall into.

[@rossgeography]

trust in your pyschotherapist is essential

[@OCPD_support]

Ross Geography essential, vital and non-negotiable.

[@rossgeography]

re: RAW REACTIONS - Sleep in the 'dirty sheets' or don't wash your hair beyond rinsing out the conditioner - you won't die, try not to avoid an intrusive thought or idea because it starts off small but grows if you 'give in' to the compulsion (washing, checking) - just say this is a thought, it's distressing (maybe concentrate on the bodily sensation or emotion because the thought doesn't actually MEAN ANYTHING, it's just unsettling but you're getting hooked by it, don't try to suppress it because like trying to push a beachball under water it will just pop back up). Really fear around germs etc. is a fear of contamination, disease and pain (other worry about losing control and becoming violent - the hook for them is they find it so repulsive they try to suppress the disgusting thought rather than letting it pass - and just saying 'that was weird' - the human mind is a burning block of wood, images form and sometimes frighten everyone but people with OCD become extra anxious and start believing there must be some meaning to them or that they are a terrible person for even thinking that, you're not! everyone has the odd thought like that).

[@rossgeography]

this is about Pure-O but I imagine there is something valuable to others with OCD, it's not you, it's everyone, you just happen to be more frightened by it kzbin.info/www/bejne/h2rcfJR_Zdt_gNU

[@rossgeography]

'dreadful equilibrium' - a bit like believing with OCPD that everything must be done a CERTAIN (perfect) WAY

[@OCPD_support]

@@rossgeography thanks for referencing Pure-O and linking to a good video on it.

[@rossgeography]

It would have been better to repeat symptom one - 1. Avoidance of social situations (because no offense Darryl but you interrupted May around 14-30 of Part1 because what she had said resonated with you and then kind of monopolised the end of Part 1 - I'm guilty of this myself, but for coherence you should allowed May to repeat symptom 1 at the start of this video, you couldn't even remember what it was)

[@rossgeography]

Symptom 1, Avoidance of Social Situations (briefly) kzbin.info/www/bejne/eXjceqaEhrebfaM

[@rossgeography]

These discussions come in parts, but also segments ;)

[@OCPD_support]

@@rossgeography will definitely be mindful of interrupting guests in the future. I'm still learning ;)