Thank you for being so open about this. I stayed in a few hospitals for attempting and the schizophrenic kids were always the sweetest, even when they were scared

You are a trooper. Thanks so much for making this video, it really helped me feel less alone.

It can take a lot of bravery to tell people about your experiences in the mental hospital. In November 2020, I was admitted to a mental hospital due to my autism. I can safely say that they did not help because I still exhibit the same behaviors I did back then today

I am happy to see someone discuss the feelings of paranoia especially when it gets bad this kind of extent. I can't discuss my own extreme paranoia (something very very similar happened to me - I had a falling out with internet friends and lived in constant fear for a couple years that, no matter where I went, they would find me and kill me or ruin my life) because I am scared that people will then try to enact those kinds of things against me... it's a stupid and irrational fear, but I have to live with it every single day and I don't talk to anyone about it at all. I understand that most other people who experience paranoia (esp on a schizophrenic level) don't want to talk about it publicly for the same reasons, which only makes us feel more isolated and lonely and like these fears must either be real and logical or completely in our heads rather than something other people experience . Thank you for being brave (Also maybe a question : do you have to have literal visual/auditory hallucinations to be schizophrenic, or can it also just entail delusions? I have considered the idea that I have PPD, but I'm never really sure. And all of these symptoms overlap so much, I really don't like psychiatry much.)

Mental illness sucks ass, i'm currently undergoing treatment for mood-swings and emotional problems. I wish you the best!

Stay strong brother

GG man, best wishes

thank you for bringing me hope and inspiration

Does each survivor have their own thing or are they only mostly visual differences?

Glad you seem to have moved on from this. What I'm curious about is how was this funded, was this in America and if so did you parents pay for these hospitals and psyche wards? As much as I'm curious I can't help but feel incredibly depressed by this though, I can't believe I've slipped through the cracks all this time on my mental issues. I've spoke to a doctor before even asking for something other than just some SSRIs even mentioning symptoms of PBP but was just offered SNRIs instead. Fuck the Tories.

dont worry... we (all of us) could tell there is something very much wrong with you. after all... why do who want to sleep with men who is man? 🤰

not a schizophrenic but they tried to diagnose me with it, turns out i was sleep deprived due to being in a strange place (psych ward) and scared due to witnessing an unaliving outside my house and was diagnosed with ptsd instead when i got admitted to a different ward, getting a second opinion. im glad that they were able to actually help you! they're good when they work and bad when they just dont.

Look into cutler chelation.

Got some questions.. 1. Would you see shadowy figures in the corners of your eyes, or also in your direct line of sight? 2. Did it just start one day, or was it gradual/did it get worse over time?

I think to speak about these things ans sharing it actually helps in living with it, and helps those who have it and watch it to

"I know I migh relapse one day" I know to. And I don't know if I survive that time

Processing important mental stuff while playing minecraft peacefully 🤌🤌🤌

"I believed (any person) is/was a start/reason of my (any current state I don't like)" So relatable 😒

Dude, there is so much power in what you've been doing, and telling your story is nothing to be ashamed of. There are many here to let you know that you are not alone in this. You are the author of your journey, not any diagnosis you've been given

what do you think of the king crimson song, 21st century schizoid man? then again it makes like no reference to schizophrenia outside of the title line and is more just a song about the time

"I'm offended, but not because of the schizophrenia stuff. I'm offended over how shitty these memes are" was a banger phrase. I 100% agree. Edit: PS: Don't worry man, the video was pretty nice! I liked hearing about your experience, and the memes! :D

So you said when you focus on the hallucination of the dark/void figure it turns into static and then disappears... So does that mean usually the way you see the dark figure is out of the corner of your eye or in your peripheral vision?

Dude you live in south carolina? We may have been voluntary commited together at some point 😂 Your a really cool person I love your channel! thanks for talking about mental illness openly.

NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE

I love you, I dont see fellow schizophrenics get a happy ending

I don't have schizophrenia myself but I completely understand why hallucinations could be annoying. I hallucinate stuff on a weekly basis. Couple times a week I hear clocks ticking, see shadowy movements in the corners of my vision and disappear when I turn, I had seen a deer in the middle of my living room, heard people calling for help, and the worst of all is I sometimes randomly hear Minecraft ambient cave sounds/music which I find hilarious and out of place compared to my other experiences with hallucinations. Sometimes I feel paranoid and it's not a good feeling. But as I said, I am not a schizophrenic. I understand they are just hallucinations and untrue feelings, my symptoms do not worsen, I never had a psychotic episode or anything of that nature. My psychiatrist thinks it could be linked to my irregular personality combined with autism, ADHD and dysthymia. I feel you brothers, it must be hard not even knowing what is real sometimes. Good luck.

it's disgusting how you can be horribly mistreated just by ending up in the wrong mental facility

I fuckin hate mental hospitals. I’ve been to them as well, and I’ve met some horrible healthcare workers

how much coal do you need 😭

Back when I was a kid my mental health deteriorated so much I started getting auditory (and maybe visual) hallucinations. I also had several psychotic episodes and spent more time maladaptively daydreaming than in real life. I had become violent to myself, the kids at my school and my dad. This whole situation wouldn't have got to this point if my dad, aka the only person in the house with power, believed in me. But nooooo kid's aren't complex, kid's can't become ill, I am just wanting attention. Thankfully as soon as mom started making her own money she divorced his ass. That was the wake up call he needed to put me in therapy. I honestly don't know how I was able to heal without medication but it did take the entirety of my teen years for me to become ""normal"" again. Nowadays I just have autism and anxiety. I can still maladaptive daydream buuut I only do it rarely and to kill time, it's not bad to indulge once in a blue moon. My dad is also a changed man but that's another story

As someone else on the rocky road of recovery from psychosis, this video was so wonderful. Hearing you describe experiences so similar to mine made me feel less alone, and your voice and personality is so comforting to listen to. Thank you 🥹❤️

i have schytzophrenia and its hard, my first episode was in 6th grade and i related to this a lot im happy you are able to tell this story without treating schytzophrenia like q conversation starter or a scary story

Oh man I can't imagine what you have been through and seeing how well you're doing in this video genuinely makes my day. Great video and a good laugh :)

Thanks for speaking up on this topic. I really respect your courage to tell all these stuff and post them online. There are some mean comments here, and they suck. I learned a lot and gained a lot more confidence from this video, and I hope everything goes well for you my friend.

I hate that theres a lot of mean comments here

I'M IN YOUR WALLS. IM IN YOUR WALLS.

As someone with schizophrenia, thank you so much for raising your voice for fellow neurodivergents who can't or don't have the courage to.

Thank you for sharing your story! Usually the first time in a mental hospital is the toughest, and we're not always ready for the help we know we need. I've been in Midwestern mental hospitals in around 2017-2019, but I always felt like everyone saw them much worse than they really are. I was very shy back then so I usually struggled to make friends, but people always were willing to pull me into their groups and stuff. We did get our own ROOMS tho... That's sweet👀 we always had to share with someone else P.S. super proud of you for the sobriety!! 💜

This video is so cool

psyche wards are a scam and they are essentially just a buffer zone for police stations to put mentally unstable people instead of needing to arrest them and put them in jail. keeps the jail empty for the rest of the criminals. That and insurance companies make a lot of money off of it. all they care about is penning you up giving you a couple drugs they have been recommended to give you. obviously being isolated and put in a place thats a mix between an intensive care unit and a prison isnt going to be good for anyones sanity when their problems are just mental, and theres no way any person in that facility has the capacity to treat them with the level of care they require.

Trust me bro they didnt want to help you lol. they wanted to go on with their day and get paid to go to work like every one else. im sure they would say they want to help you they might even think they do. but after they take you in they think they own you and they are keeping you and sending you through their process so they can maintain their bottom line and keep their numbers up.

the only time i know of my friends or family going to a "psyche ward" was a place called PEMS which is where people in crisis are sent by the police. they process u and hold you for three days its like a concentration camp for kids whose parents call the police on them. Even if you dont tell the police that you are a threat to yourself, if your parent even lies to say like youre having a mental break down or youre unstable or you said something they can just take you away. if you bug out at the place they give you a shot to the butt to knock you out. thats just the children section idk about the adult section.

cw: mentions of self harm and suicide attempts i have met the diagnostic criteria for BPD (borderline personality disorder) as well as struggling with an addiction to self harm (among other things, namely CPTSD, clinical depression, and schizoaffective disorder). with that info out of the way, i have been institutionalized 4 times. 3, involuntary for suicide attempts and one voluntary because i was actively spiraling. with me, all of the ideation and attempts ive had have passed within an hour or two. its not uncommon for me to get incredibly deep in the ideation only for it to pass and move on with my day. the result of it directly depends on my ability to distract myself as well as a couple other factors. once it passes (even after attempts) i go back to no ideation, almost as if it had never happened. I have been to 4 different facilities and with ALL of my stays, I can say that it (being admitted) helped considerably for about 2 days. after that window of improvement passed, my mental health took a hit again. I felt trapped, stir crazy, depressed, bored and alienated. the 4th time i was being admitted, family drove me and i tried jumping out of the car on the freeway if that tells anyone how much i dread the place. If I were able to leave once the facility stopped being a positive or beneficial place for me to be, i can almost guarantee that i wouldn't still be having nightmares about being admitted and trapped forever almost 5 years after my last stay. in conclusion, FOR ME, psych wards were an overall negative experience with a tiny amount of good in the mix. obviously, they serve a purpose for those genuinely in crisis or something similar, but for me, who just struggled with passing ideation and poor impulse control, i feel that they did more harm than good as i still have lasting trauma and effects on my psyche from them.

I'm happy at least one person actually got help from those hellholes (in my personal experience, at least).

Hey, thanks for making a video like this. While not a schizophrenic, my clinical depression turned into psycotic depression during highschool while also being hospitalized during that time. Even though we're different i find this very comforting because I'm shy and too afraid to talk about something like this, speaking of which you are incredibly brave for doing something like this and actually going through it uploading it. Don't worry about the stuttering, i stutter too sometimes, which i can totally get how annoying it can be. I'm also autistic so the way i speak might be weird haha, anyways keep it up and keep taking care of yourself man. Mental illness and trauma is a very rough battle to deal with (and you're strong for being here).

have you seen the onion government schizophernia bit? i kinda wanna see your opinion on it.

I was hospitalized for about a week just a few days ago. It kinda sucked, but it kept me alive, which is what I needed them to do. Thanks for sharing this, man. I'm sure it wasn't easy.

I've been twice for OCD/autism/depression and I had a really pleasant experience.

and when you see this black figure and it's static what happens when you move your head side to side? is it just staying in one place like glued to the ground and surroundings, or does it slightly move when you move? (it's magical, if it stays in place whatever you're doing😳)