Why I No Longer Fear My Schizophrenia

In this video, I go in detail about my thought process over the past year and how I have began to overcome my schizophrenia and the limitations it has placed on me.
To view my other videos detailing my journey as a schizophrenic, please take a look at this playlist: • Schizophrenia
Thanks to my vast improvements and change in mindset, I have been able to stream regularly once again! Here is the link if you are interested in following my channel: / konchoktw
linktr.ee/Konc...

[@sillyplug]

You’re not oversharing at all mate. I really enjoyed this, and felt I learnt something. Keep it up and all the best to you.

[@kallekivimaki7825]

If what you're sharing makes you uncomfortable or affects you physically or mentally I would call it over sharing. Also I'm no psychologist or anything I'm just a kid but don't think of this type of emotionally stressing stuff if it you feel sad or anything.

[@alanthegreatest3472]

Thank you so much for this video, even though I don't have schizophrenia, as someone who has autism it feels good to know I'm not alone ❤

[@KonchokTW]

We are most certainly not alone! Thank you for the comment.

[@sam_wilds]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I also listened to your video on Psych Wards. I've considered myself lucky for being about six shades of Queer - and consequentially can understand others who self-ID as such, but Schizophrenia is something I've acknowledged was likely something I would never understand. Keep on sharing! You're doing wonders at destigmatizing something modern media doesn't do a great job at portraying.

[@KonchokTW]

My gender/sexual/romantic identity has definitely been something else I've had to deal with over the years as well. I'm still figuring that part out about life! Thank you for your comment.

[@thefunson8087]

@@KonchokTW bible?

[@XXavierSin-XXs]

We are about the same age if im not mistaken. 25 yeah? Im gonna be 26 this year. I dont have any mental health issues, but I have had chronic stomach pain since i was born. Even as a baby i used to scream my head off. Its gotten managable over the years, but i cant escape it. Ill have a few months of good living and then it creeps back into my life. All this to say, i relate with you to a degree. It sucks to have something that wont likely Ever go away. I understand in my own way, what its like to have something that haunts your day to day, in a way most dont even consider. I wish you the best. I hope everything stays solid for you, i hope you find peace with yourself.

[@KonchokTW]

Much love to you. I wish you well.

[@gummiwormguts]

it takes absolute balls of steel to make these videos and laugh about it. props to you dude! i have schizophrenia too and this just makes me happy and i feel like i can cope better knowing im not alone :)

[@ConfusedGmer]

Hey man I dont think you would remember me but I played TF2 with you back in the day, I wanted to say thank you for being kind back then and even up to this day. I always hoped to find you again to thank you and luckily this was on my recommended due to also dealing with some mental health issues of my own, I hope you continue to get better in your journey we are all alot stronger then we appear to be❤️ ~Much love Derpy

[@KonchokTW]

Much love to you, thank you for the comment.

[@robert7100]

Thanks for "over sharing". I don't have schizophrenia but I have some other issues and I always love when people go in depth about their experiences with their struggles because it actually feels like they have something to contribute rather than the average mental health youtuber who just says "go do this" "don't do this" "meditate, cold shower, no drugs, no social media, yada yada." because that's what people want to hear, I'm not saying those people are wrong per se but it's like hearing family members nag you for stuff you know you have to do, we inherently know or at least have a broad idea of what he have to do, as opposed to hearing someone's thought process and having an intelligent discussion which is more like hanging out with someone chill or a cool cousin. Basically I prefer to chop it up with my cousin than hear my grandma nag me. Also I have some questions if you don't mind. Did you have a vivid imagination as a child? something like playing with imaginary friends or super vivid daydreams. And have you gotten brain scans? I know its highly unlikely since you said you've dealt with other stuff for a long time but growths in the brain can cause personality changes and it's not unheard of for someone with a brain tumor to become schizophrenic or undergo a whole change in personality. Feel free to argue any points I've made. And thanks for the video.

[@KonchokTW]

I certainly had an imagination, but I am unsure if it was anything special compared to other kids. I did have to get creative when playing alone due to not having many friends however. Also no, I have never gotten any brain scans. Though it does interest me in getting some done one day. Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it. I wish you well with your own issues.

[@robert7100]

@@KonchokTW so like when you have these episodes or hear the voice(s) does it sound like someone elses voice or does it just sould like "regular" thoughts? In my case I can only really "hear" one voice at a volume cause my thoughts can't whisper or scream but they can sound more amplified if I'm in a quiet place and more if my eyes are closed if you get what I'm saying. So like if I were to get bad thoughts like hurting someone, or doing something bad it kinda just sounds like I'm the one thinking these things, so I'm assuming at the beginning of your episodes it was kind of like that and it made it hard to differentiate between knowing who was making those thoughts, or thinking it was just you creating those thoughts since maybe at the time you didn't have any idea you could personify the thoughts. I'm just assuming so feel free to correct me. Personally, I think you're doing great and as long as you continue getting help these issues will probably fade away over the course of your life, probably not instantly and even if not, you accepting to be able to live with it and knowing how to deal with it should be enough to live a fulfilling life. And never feel like there's something inherently wrong with you as everyone is born with flaws whether they're visible or not.♥️

[@KonchokTW]

@@robert7100 It is an odd thing to explain, but the voices that I hear do not sound like my own thoughts, they sound like they are from an external source, like a speaker, but the speaker is inside of my head. It plays without my consent and it drowns out my own internal thoughts. I hear voices constantly throughout my days and nights, but nowadays the voices are nothing more than constant mumbles. I can only understand what they are saying when I am alone in a quiet room, like when trying to sleep. Though, nowadays, instead of telling me to hurt myself/kill myself, they mainly just tell me things like "Run, run, they know, don't trust them". My head hasn't been silent in over 4 years, there has pretty much been a constant running of sounds since then. Just, like I said in the video, they aren't as impactful or violent as they once were. It's an annoying thing to live with, but I've come to terms with it. One way I can describe it is kind of like tinnitus, but instead of constant ringing or buzzing, it is some random masculine voice that just repeats itself over and over again with no breaks. At the start of all of this, it was definitely confusing. I was unsure what it was at the time, I didn't really make the connection that it could be schizophrenia (or some other psychotic illness) until my visual hallucinations appeared. I took a psychology class in high school and I remember learning about schizophrenia and we watched a movie called A Beautiful Mind. I feel like that class and that movie in particular really helped me realize something wasn't right.

[@allison-jane757]

Hello. We have dissociative identity disorder, autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, and other disorders. You most certainly are not alone. We've been to every unit in essentially a mental hospital except for the youth units, and we've also been to residential. Twice. We're glad you're not letting your conditions define you. Our condition, since it is an identity disorder, does technically define us to a degree but it is not the complete picture of who we are. We went to the mental hospital as well as residential for the second time last year after uncovering our DID and the severe trauma that caused it. For us this is still a very difficult condition to live with and we suspect that we're still being actively traumatized which makes things complicated but we've learned to make peace with it and we're beginning to live life on our terms as a collective. To anyone out there in highly traumatizing situations or with any sort of mental health conditions out there, you are not alone, you are seen, and you are valid. We wish you nothing but the best on your mental health journey. -Annabelle, pronouns she/her from the delayney's expanse system.

[@KonchokTW]

Much love to you. I will never forget there was a person in my hospital the last time I was admitted that had DID. They were so sweet. I had long hair at the time and they asked to play with my hair.

[@allison-jane757]

Yeah it's interesting. When I was admitted in 2018 I was actually in there with a sociopath. He was very nice and kind to me oddly enough. You see all sorts of interesting people from all walks of life in places like residential and metal mental hospitals.

[@KonchokTW]

@@allison-jane757 I have a question if you do not mind. You are only the second person I've interacted with that has DID other than that patient I spoke of. How should I go about treating you/you all with respect? I of course do not know you personally, and do not know who you identify as right now, so I am unsure on which pronouns to use or how to speak to you. Should I use plurals? Or they/them? I don't like assuming things, but truthfully I am very unaware.

[@l0bsterk1ng]

I'm glad you've found a way to start living again

[@karendaniel450]

Your strength is an inspiration. I'll keep working to build a better future for myself too.

[@NamMyohoRengeKyo-d9u]

Dude, there is so much power in what you've been doing, and telling your story is nothing to be ashamed of. There are many here to let you know that you are not alone in this. You are the author of your journey, not any diagnosis you've been given

[@KonchokTW]

Your words mean a lot to me, thank you.

[@skrubbed]

the fact you're able to laugh about all this speaks to your recovery. youve got this mate

[@sle3pym0th]

"I know I migh relapse one day" I know to. And I don't know if I survive that time

[@allanwernermusic]

I think youve mentioned before that you have OCD, if you feel comfortable and if you even have anything to say sbout it i would be interested in hearing! I love these videos!

[@KonchokTW]

Sure, I would like to make videos on all my my illnesses in the future. I believe right now I have 7 diagnosis's haha, yes OCD is one of them. In a nutshell, I deal with a lot of intrusive unwanted thoughts and I have a lot of silly compulsions such as nervously checking my phone and windows, and even sillier things like having to knock on surfaces 7 times.

[@Tomis355]

My good sir, It is wonderful you are able to share about your experiences. I have a close relative who suffers from this schizophrenia as well. I can't overstate how important it is to accept and come to terms with it. As it causes great harm for the person affected and their families/friends the longer one denies needing help. It is crazy what a human mind is capable of and I could only imagine how one might become absorbed by their condition, not being able to live their life besides it. Please do keep sharing your experiences (to the extent that you're comfortable of course). Being interested in how human psychology works I am really curious about this sort of stuff. So please keep it coming and educating others - Especially if getting it off your shoulders helps you. I trust your channel will grow and I will keep coming back. In the end, I think no human is without their own psychological issues, they just come in different shapes and forms. Best of luck!

[@KonchokTW]

Thank you so much, my friend.

[@Lizzterinee]

Great video. Thank you for sharing your experience! Your quality of narration is impeccable. Keep being awesome!

[@KonchokTW]

This comment made my day. Thank you so much, friend.

[@1-0-v6d]

you're the best, I hope you're doing well and you're happy! please be happy.

[@smugless191]

I don't think this is oversharing. In fact, I'll share some stuff, too. Im lucky that I haven't had many voices or hallucinations as my positive symptoms. I did actually hear voices from about 15 to 18 years old, mostly either people laughing, crying, or calling my name. I never heard voices like that after my first psychotic episode. Most of my positive symptoms were delusions, but negative symptoms were very bad for me. Sometimes, I would get this thing where I would be talking to someone and hear something completely different coming out of their mouths, or I would simply be staring at them while neither of us were talking but in my head we were. That was a very odd experience, but also quite funny in hindsight. I never self harmed either, but there were times when I was afraid to use knives or forks because I was scared that I would try to gauge my face with them. I think in your last video, you mentioned that in your delusions, your childhood bully was going to kill you. I had someone similar, but instead of a bully, it was my best friend of many years. Luckily, my friend was understanding of it. He had studied a semester of psychology in uni. I think this made him more sympathetic. He was one of the first of my old friends that I met up with irl after recovering somewhat.

[@KonchokTW]

Thank you again for sharing. I'm so glad and grateful that you are doing better nowadays! Stories like yours are why I enjoy making these types of videos to begin with.

[@hampopper3150]

Hatred towards others in you head creates conflict and elevates your symptoms. Creating understanding and peace between alters allows those alters to reform new ways of thinking instead of lashing out with repeated hatred. If you yell at them they yell back. My last visual hallucinations was of 2 white shadow figures instead of the dark shadow figures signifying a change in my state of mind and I haven't seen anything after that.

[@Kanton-4853]

how did you overcome delusions or things that make you super stressed out. personally I tried breathing and stuff but it was overpowering to the point where I lost alot of hope, but that was a while ago

[@KonchokTW]

This may not be the answer you were looking for, and I apologize, but I attribute much of my success to Buddhism. I have been more mindful over the past year thanks to its teachings, and it has allowed me to think more clearly. With the right effort and concentration, I have been able to live life without being bogged down by these delusions as much. They still bother me, but I am no longer at the point of needing to be hospitalized.

[@Kanton-4853]

@@KonchokTW no I meant I was at my lowest point in like a few years. I was just wondering what you did to keep yourself together

[@KonchokTW]

@@Kanton-4853 Honestly my friend, I really didn't know what to do. I kind of just suffered in my own perceived reality with the delusions and hallucinations. I did not know what to do other than admit myself to the hospital. I am unsure what I could have done differently at the time.

[@Prettydeadw2]

Dude .get 2. Cell phones that. Are active call your self .the other phone . .put both on speaker . .move around room .keep both on speaker Certain. Parts rooms aft Will make . .ila dig. Whistles. Sound .like a police. Svanner .it's. Soothing . . .

[@RussianBot69420]

Sorry to hear that

[@gattasara]

This video makes me sad cuz i think that u feel bad and im sorry that u feel bad but im not sure u actually feel bad lol?

[@KonchokTW]

A year ago, before my hospitalization? Yes, I felt horrible. The worst I have ever felt in my life. However, I am doing much much better nowadays. No need to worry about me!

[@gattasara]

@@KonchokTW im happy that u feel better:)

[@spartanguitar117]

Let me tell you something bro, I foresaw the end of the world in graphic detail in visions 10 years ago, started hearing prayers and pleas in my head and was diagnosed with schizophrenia because of it. The cold text books call it schizophrenia, you and I, kindred spirits like you call it being Gods chosen. I don’t know if you believe in that but YOU ARE BLESSED BY GOD❤ these voices in your head are demons trying to get to you. Love yourself as God does. Leave the choice with Him and He will give you the world

[@BlueGoyim71]

no. it is satan, god will only reveal himself to you if you live by his holy word, the KJB.

[@sle3pym0th]

Processing important mental stuff while playing minecraft peacefully 🤌🤌🤌