thats my 2nd biggest fear. My biggest fear would be becoming like JENNIFER: Eine Kellnerin mit Arschgeweih, die niemals auch nur ein Jahr ihres Lebens alleine bestritten hat, ihre innerliche Schwäche mit Dominanz kompensiert und alles was sie in diesem Leben besitzt von anderen geschenkt gekriegt hat, weil sie tief im Inneren sehr bequem und einfach gestrickt ist. Muss man als Frau auch sein, um mit meinem Vater so lange zsm zu bleiben. Aber dennoch die Dummheit und Naivität besitzt, zu denken, sie könne jederzeit Medizin studieren, wenn sie wolle (auch ohne Abi natürlich)

My mother was always absuive but I think the tuning point in our relationship was when she said, "I don't wan to give you presents anymore." She had never done much for me for my birthday or Christmas. I didn't ask for much. But even that tiny amount of kindness two times a year she didn't want to do that much. I realized this lately when I see my boyfriend's parents that he doesn't talk to often always make a point to send him a little something for Christmas so he knows he's loved. It hurts. I've been no contact with her for years since she pushed me out but it all still hurts.

Great analysis!! You put it really well

This one really hit the feels. ❤💔❤️

this whole video made me cry

I don’t know my mother, I don’t understand her. She is controlling, rude, abusive, insulting, demeaning, degrading, shameless and she thinks she knows everything while missing everything that is important and in her face. It is the most disappointing thing, I have given up in a relationship with her. She refuses to take accountability and would rather be right and perfect. Waiting for her children to take accountability for her actions, to fix the relationship that she broke. The apology has to be as loud the disrespect, she ruined the relationship over a period of 3 decades and it will take the same level of repeated mending it took to break it. Giving the same level of respect you demand by demonstration, leading by example and swallowing pride. Apologizing once doesn’t make anything okay when the apology lacks sincerity, contrition, accountability, understanding what she did wrong and changed behavior. That is the level of damage that has been caused and no one can absorb you of the consequences of your actions. Just because you can be abusive or take advantage of your children doesn’t mean you should. Mouths may lie but Energy does not, there is a price to pay for everything. It’s all fun and games until those consequences come.

"Often father and daughter look down on mother together. they exchange meaningful glances when she misses the point. they agree that she is not as bright as they are, cannot reason as they do. this collusion does not save the daughter from the mother's fate." -Bonnie Burstow

this entire video had my weeping, i have a lot to work on internally

I have this weird feeling that my narc mother is behind all this “stalking,” and has convinced my siblings to take part in it. Idk though but you know what I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m just ready to be financially independent and get away from them all!

“If this do be me end, farewell!” Cried the wounded piper-boy, Whilst the muskets cracked And the yeomen roared, “Hurrah!” And the ramparts fell. “Methinks me breathes me last, me fears,” said he…😂😂

a good recommendation is "happy old year"

What did belle did ? She not better than Cinderella

Yo what clip was that when the daughter just falls out the car at 0:30😭💀

This might be one of the best videos I have ever watched on KZbin. Definitely teared up watching, excellent analysis and case studies hoping one day the age old mother-daughter conflict is resolved but here's hoping

My mom left me almoet immediately after i was born And so i depended on my dad tht was basically this but more misogyny. Rlly cant win... Now hes annoyed that i dont rlly msg hik or call him

now why did i start crying lmao

I’m surprised you didn’t mention “turning red”

I wish I had the opportunity to be a daughter. My mother sent me away when I was born cause she didn't want a girl and then brought me back when she needed someone to take care of her son. I raised my brother as my own child, he is the sweet person he is because of me. But it's sad to think that he has 2 mothers and I have none.

This is genuinely one of the most beautiful videos I’ve ever watched. I have never cried this much over something like this, you have such a way with words and the way you express your creativity through editing and talk. So beautiful, I loved it so much, this unlocked something inside of me. Thank you

I tried to confront my mom about this thing, the mother wound, and the abuse she's put me through as a kid and then becoming an adult and becoming a mother myself. I didn't do any of it good enough for her. And when I struggled and felt like a failure, she was there to rub it in my face, and offer 'help' so she could hold it over my head. I asked her to stop hurting me. Her response was to be mad at me and gaslight me about how her own mother was far worse and that she's the hurt one by me. She said "but we're both adults now!" expecting me to apologize to her. I told her, "You're still the mom." 😢

i haven’t watched Ladybird yet and i fear it may break me. i know i’ll cry based on everything i know about it.

EEAAO broke me in ways I didnt know I could be

This is weird. It feels weird seeing film reflect my life so loudly. I’m not an Asian daughter, but I am the daughter of a single mother. It feels weird.

My mother is a doormat for her family. Which in itself causes a lot of issue, but more importantly her side of the family expect me to be her 2.0. Sucks for them I developed anger issue instead, and rages whenever they try to do their usual bullshit 😂😂

I definitely don't want to turn into my evil mother!

The way this video healed some wounds. Thank you for this.

I think the mother daughter relationship found in the film, “on the basis of sex”, would be great in this essay as well. In this movie the mother takes great strides for women’s right, being on the first women to attend Harvard law. However, her daughter has a difficult relationship with her as she feels her mother doesn’t do enough.

It makes me so so sad that so many of us have such fractured relationships with our mothers. I really hope that if I get the honor of having a daughter, I can be the best mom I can possibly be and never make her feel rejected, neglected, othered, or not good enough.

and then come mother in law and sister in laws all bitter and resentful when they see another lady not behaving like them, this one happier, dress too nice, have too many nice things, have too much money and did too little work, disobedient to traditional rules and expectations, more independent, more outspoken and go where she want when she want, supported by their son/brother, how dare her? :D

Excellent analysis. I'll never look at "Swan Lake" the same way again. Portman was so great, deserved the Oscar.

As a daughter I am angry at my mother for so many reasons but as a mother I see where my mother functions from. My mother was a daughter and a women herself. She was just a child like me so she did all she could so I forgive her and love her for all she has done for me

I refuse to be my mother. I have placed & done things to make sure I will never been seen as something from her. It’s sad I recognize that… but I will love my children

really really great video!

it is so hard for many parents to accept their children as separate people, not as an extension, a reflection, a chance for re-do etc. with mothers and daughters it seems to be particularly complicated, sometimes to a point where a daughter becomes the insufferable mirror for a mother to observe.

In my opinion, you never need to apologize for being pretentious if you actually have something to say- and you do.

I need to watch ladybird it reminds me of my relationship with my female family members a bit. I’m a first gen citizen in 🇺🇸. And while it’s slightly safer than my home country, I want more. I dream of moving to 🇪🇺 where quality of life for the poor middle class is way better than what it is here. I wish they wouldn’t take it as an attack I’m grateful but it’s not wrong to reach for higher. It’s even more painful because they act like I’m some naive young woman who doesn’t know anything when I’ve already lived in one of these countries for over a month as a test trial and it was the first time I truly felt alive.

“Occasional kindness does not nullify the effects of abuse” This is something that I wish more people would acknowledge. If you are reading this and struggling with forgiving someone close to you, please know that you don’t have to forgive. So many people say to just forgive, “not for them, but for yourself!”. But, sometimes, what can heal you more is to know when they do not deserve forgiveness, and that you do not have to give it. It is not bitter or holding onto negativity to not forgive. I’m currently 21, and I went no contact with my mother in high school, after i was finally able to escape my abusive environment. growing up, she put everything onto me. i was her therapist, her only best friend, the one to achieve what she never could growing up. i was her rival, her punching bag, the source of her jealousy and the thing that brought down her image. i was everything she wanted me to be, and was never as good as she could have been, therefore i was never good enough. i was the one to console her when she cried at how horrible her life was. it has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that she also suffered in her life, that she also struggled in her relationship with her parents. even still, she chose her path, she chose to continue to enact harm on her children, and i will probably never forgive her for the trauma and hurt she has caused. even if she is no longer in my life, the pain will probably continue to linger for the entirety of it. She still tries to weasel her way back into my life through my younger brother, who still keeps in contact, but i have made it clear to her that i want nothing to do with her. it’s taken me years to feel guilt free from that decision, but the reminder that the occasional kindnesses, the occasional droplets of attention, doesn’t cancel out what she did, helps me to feel reaffirmed in my decision. I fear often that i may someday turn into her, that her rage and harm might somehow manifest into me, and that i will do the same to someone i hold dear. this fear is one of the reasons i decided at a young age that i would never have children, even though i could never even think of doing such harm to them. But, even if my current environment is still not the best, i feel more free than i ever had been with her around. I work hard everyday to not become like her, to not carry over the traits that harmed me into those around me. To remind myself, I’m not like her, but instead, am just me.

this is so beautifully done lol i was crying for 26 minutes of it LOLLLL

All of these comments are so beautiful, and also so sad

real

Her character was supposed to be harsh. She was a literal representation of how many high school girls act and we ALL had a "Lily" growing up.

I’ve noticed recently as of these past two years with my followers/peers/ “friends” we always liked eachother’s stuff for as long as Instagram has been around (13 yrs) no matter what it was, graduated high school, got your first job at a fast food place, new car, a festival video, you looked good/happy that day. Now I noticed at least on my end, they don’t like anything they used to root me for. I post really nice pictures/creative videos and I watch them watching me and intentionally not give it a like. Some wouldn’t even mind telling you they saw your post and not feel shame or embarrassed for basically admitting you’re openly stalking and not supporting. Idk how this generation got comfortable with that. Now it seems the only like worthy posts is if you got engaged, married, divorced in some weird( female empowerment way) a pregnancy announcement, a baby’s delivery. Or you got the biggest glow up. Like you have to reach milestones to get your friends/peers to like your posts. It’s very telling whose not really a friend, whose probably jealous, isn’t happy when you’re happy unless you reach a level of success and not even then would they give you that same support. Noticed I said support and not “validation” validation is expected from strangers, support is from your friends, family, peers you grew up with. People got stuck up and really waste likes, reposts from shallow ass celebrities like the kardashian with their cheap ass products thinking they’ll even noticed them reposting. It’s seriously sad.

Hit the nail on the head with this video! This vid perfectly encapsulates all the understandings I’ve come to in regard to my own mother. I plan on going no contact with my parents one day even though I know it will be hard and that my parents will just be mad at me for doing it. But the way I thrive when I’m away from them is beautiful. I also plan on being a better mother to my own daughter one day! Give her all the unconditional love I didn’t get when I was a child/teenager/young woman!❤

Amazing analysis ❤

Matrophobia is the word for this 🥰🫡

Man, this video hurts. I've given my mother so many opportunities to see the change and the goodness she could obtain. I've done my damndest to have humility to see her perspective. All she does is continue to project and push blame. I've barely been talking to her, but now that my step-father voluntarily told her I might be moving out of the state she's suddenly saying "let's go to therapy," which is just another way she's saying "you're wrong; stay under my thumb." Honestly, it sounds exhausting to do with her. I'm so damn done. I am the cycle breaker, and I can forgive, but I'm done waiting for her to be a part of that. Period.

Just subbed 🙏💪 keep grinding ‼️

I have always wanted to pierce my nose, but my conservative mother refused since I was 20. I'm 26, next year, I'm going to pierce my nose.

It breaks my heart whenever I see the discourse around Lady Bird & people not recognizing the way her mom talks to her and responds to her emotional needs as abuse. In fact, her reaction towards said abuse is always twisted into somehow being the instigator.

“I wish that you liked me.” “Of course I love you.” “But do you like me?” breaks my heart everytime 💔