🧀🍞 2 things that made me happy today are my cats being really sweet and cuddly, and remembering the really good date I had this weekend. I'm sorry you're going through what you're going through with the doctors. I have had similar things happen where they wouldn't listen to me so I spent a bunch of money getting testing done only to prove that I was right about what was going on :/ I hope you can find a doctor that listens to you soon.

🧀🍞 I live for cloudy/rainy days. I don’t mind sunny days but give me dark cloudy weather any day and I’m ecstatic.

🧀🍞 1. new office / writing area items arrived from amazon today. Can't wait to set it up and have my own space to write in again. 2. Had 2 different series ideas pop into my head. I am nearly done outlining my debut novel, just need to complete the resolution / ending.

Also, thank you for sharing your true self and how you are really doing. I know you say you don't want the vlogs to be negative but your channel is an oasis of reality for me amongst so many youtubers who edit out the bad - being surrounded by creators that only show the good can make one feel like you are crazy for going through hard times!

Having a dismissive doctor is SO frustrating! I've been dealing with an immune system issue that was brushed off by every doctor I've seen because my labs were normal while I was basically bedridden for a year. Me being a powerlifter who was very active right before these changes was not enough to convince them that it wasn't all in my head. My current doctor told me "you are an expert on yourself and if your body is saying there is something wrong it doesn't matter what your labs say and we will figure it out together" and I literally cried after that appointment from relief. There is hope and there are good doctors out there, it just is such a frustrating process to weed through all the ones that dismiss you. Crossing my fingers that you find an excellent doctor soon!

Hope you find a good doctor. There are two good doctors where i go and if you lived in my area i would recommend them. However, my needs are not yours and i do not know how they help patients who get anxious. I only know them as dealing with me for a fractured foot and a chest infection. Ive known these doctors for over 20 years. In fact one of them opened up her office to see me for the chest infection when there were literally no appointments for 2 weeks 😮. All the best. I hate to see people struggling

Hi Andrea. Not a new viewer but first time commenting because I just want to send a big validating hug to you. I hear you and I see you. I think you're right about going through these things in the years including and post-2020 . For me, the last 5 years have amplified everything that was occasionally tough, but decently managed, prior to the 4-year on-ramp that resulted in the changed world of 2020. Finding and experiencing any sort of sustained joy has been a constant and exhausting endeavor so I try to notice and appreciate the moments when I feel contented - like you do at the end of this video. I think you're doing great! I turned 51 in April of 2020 - onslaught of perimenopause symptoms and no doctors here (Maine) seeing anyone not already on their calendars. Fast forward to now - I'm post-menopausal (after 4 years I hope to never repeat), managed without access to a medical professional until last summer. I'm happy to report that my state of being isn't so full of jarring upswings and downswings anymore. Now if the world as a whole will just right itself...

Researching doctors through a hospital website may be easier and the usually have patient ratings. Most providers credentialed with a hospital are enrolled with the same insurances. I also ask MA’s and lab techs and nurses for their opinions.

Good luck finding a doctor ❤ I know how hard it is to find someone that is in network and actually listens. I’ve started looking into online options like Winona. Not sure if an option like that would be worth the cost, but it’s an option.

My anxiety has been terrible lately. It hasn't helped since I can't form a routine around my roommate's ever changing one. Big changes coming later in the year. Or the state of the world. You talking through everything, does help someone half your age. I've been in a writing slump and an old short story is calling to be reworked. As silly as it sounds, my boyfriend keeps reminding me that he's still here for me despite me shutting down yesterday.

😢 we got about 3 days of winter in Miami as well. I dread the summer.

My birthday is at 29 February :D

so excited to watch this vlog! <3 I cannot express how happy I get when I see you uploaded!

I am currently dealing with a longer flare than normal. My family don't understand and don't get the symptoms. I am in SA. Here Fibromyalgia is not recognized by our medical aids here. Is there a country where it is recognized as a chronic illness and support is available by medical aids. Thanks for this video. Most informative and I realise that I am not alone.

Andrea, this video makes my heart sing! I am also grieving the recent loss of one of our dogs this past September. Seeing you process your grief and celebrate the arrival of Kiki with your family makes me hopeful that I too will be able to bring in another furry family member into the fold. I am so happy for you 😊

I've already started planning Vlogmas 2025 because I want to film them all in July (Christmas in July setting) because I'm attending my sister's wedding in October/November and doubt I'll be mentally able to do much beyond planning the new year come December with all the traveling we'll be doing (MT to NC and driving because pets and kids and I can't fly) right before then. So... Yeah... Already planning so I can still produce content for December because I really want to do something and just not sweating it too much if I can't make it work.

I have loved every single Vlogmas video I've seen from you this year (and this was my first time watching your Vlogmas videos). I'm team stay at home and be cozy, but that being said, there was one year, as a Christmas gift, we planned a family outing before my kiddos were born (me and my partner, my two sisters and their partners and my parents) and my Christmas gift to them was paying for us to see Avatar (with the Na'vi aliens) in theaters. It was such a fun time and now that my kids are older and we're gifting experiences more than physical gifts, I'd love to do something like that again. With all the kids, we'd now be a party of 11, but I think that would be part of the fun. 11 crazy folks agreeing to a movie and all the snacks involved. 💙

I'm team soft cookie because I have teeth issues. It's why I'm a proponent of eating cookie dough. 🍪

🎶🎻🎷🎸🎺Unintentionally, we've left wrapping until Christmas Eve for the last several years. Santa gifts have a different wrapping paper than everything else that is never before seen by the kiddos in order to hold the Santa magic for them and differentiate between Santa gifts and the rest that appear on Christmas Day.

The new pup is adorable

How's your gut health?

Oh my goodness ❤

🐶🐶🐶 always watch all your vlogs to the end!

Kiki is such a cutie. What a wonderful addition to your family :) 🐕

Kiki looks so cuteeeee❤

We recently adopted a kitten from the (literal) streets. Her name is Mina and she is the cutest little thing. She is about five or six months old.

We didn't have LEGO growing up, but I had a neighbor across the street who was... Passionate about their LEGO. Don't touch the built structures because they're collectibles passionate. Still, we were allowed to play with unbuilt ones or extra pieces every once in a while. My youngest loves LEGOs and gets a new set every birthday and sometimes Christmas, so there's a ton of LEGO pieces running around the house. I would love to start a tradition where as a family (Da Hubz and kiddos) night or date night building a LEGO set together. Maybe even just buying one of the really big, really expensive sets once a quarter and spending the next quarter once a week putting it together while watching movies. I think that would be so much fun. There's a couple really big sets we have our eyes on that we can't currently afford or can't store anywhere once it's built, which is why we haven't done anything like this yet.

I love the episodes of Doctor Who I've seen, but I've only seen various episodes of all the Doctors up to Capaldi and haven't seen any since then. Because I don't watch a lot of TV unless it's animated. (Kids are my excuse, but I'll watch an animated piece over live action any day even if I didn't have kids.) That said, my favorite episode that will break my heart but I'll never skip if it's on and I'm able to sit and watch is the Van Gogh episode. I've seen that episode by itself probably as many times as I've watched all other Doctor Who episodes total. 😂

Ohhhhh Kiki is so stinkin cute 😭😭🥰. her beautiful eyes. Her adorable sweater ❤❤ and her ears are so so cute. (And a hellooo to Gus too of course) Isn’t it incredible how traumatized/abused dogs decide/learn to trust us humans again?! It makes me so emotional thinking about it. What amazing, trusting creatures 😭 So cool seeing the hot air balloons. Aw yes that hole in your heart left by the dogs that have come and gone never quite goes away. But bringing in a new furry family member sure does help. I’ve got a sweet, silly, senior dachshund. 🐕🐾

🏰 when I was in high school in NC, there was an annual trip to the Biltmore Estate. It's GORGEOUS! I haven't seen A Biltmore Christmas yet but I want to. I just never got around to it before it left Netflix. I really hope they're able to clean up the estate after Helene came through. Both my husband and I got to see the Biltmore thanks to high school trips and it's one of the places we wanted to revisit and maybe take the kids to, especially since there's a YA fantasy story about a girl who lives unknown beneath the Biltmore Estate that they started getting an interest in. Haven't read it myself but the author is Robert Beatty I believe. I thought the concept was so cool and fun and we'd planned to read it before our visit. Here's hoping we still get to one day. And I love that you're enjoying being in the moment and being single right now, and I completely agree. For whatever reason, I feel Christmas is a more romantic holiday than Valentine's. Watching The Holiday has become a unintentional tradition as I've watched it the past 3 Christmases. I also love Single All the Way and watch it annually now since it came out.

🎄🎅 I'm so happy you're finally on break (not anymore by the time I'm watching this). The difference in your happiness is palatable. It was evident you were starting to drag. I haven't been to the Cheesecake Factory in years but I recently tried a pumpkin swirl cheesecake and it was... Phenomenal! I think that's now my favorite. Better in cheesecake bite form than cheesecake slices though.

One of the things I've wondered about listening to so many students and teachers talk about school post-pandemic is how similar it sounds to shellshock post war. It's almost like we all have some form of PTSD from the pandemic in a way survivors did from major wars. I work at a care center and listening to some of the residents talk about post-war life, especially involving school, is fairly similar to that which post-pandemic students and teachers speak about it. And I'd love to get a psychologist's take on why. I mean, I understand why, but it would be interesting to get a psychological take on the similarities and differences.

omggggggggg she is adorableeeeeeeee

I think my irritation with the commercialism of Christmas is born from the fact that I worked retail for years and by the time I left retail, Halloween stuff (my favorite holiday) was put out in September, a week before Christmas stuff was put out. And it was gone November 1st and replaced with even more Christmas stuff that stayed up until a couple weeks into the new year. I was shopping last weekend and there's some stores still selling Christmas stuff while Halloween stuff was pulled the day after the holiday. Add in the fact that Christmas music was played on a loop 24/7 and it felt like stations were playing the same songs at the same time every day for 3-4 months straight... It burned my desire to celebrate Christmas the way I'd have liked. I'm very much a gift giver. I love learning what people want most and getting them those things. I love looking at Christmas decorations and lights. But retail killed that joy for me. And while I have kids, my husband and I didn't have a lot of Christmas traditions growing up that we've passed down to them. There's a couple here and there, and (thanks to social media) I've learned about others I wish I'd learned about when they were younger and I think would have been more receptive to them. Not to say that we don't celebrate it and don't go all out as we can and are able to. Just that, having those experiences definitely colored how "go big or go home" we might have done otherwise. I hope that makes sense.

Fun fact: My parents were stationed in Germany when I was born, and I was born in Heidelberg. I was two when we left for Liechtenstein, where the older of my two younger sisters were born, and I was almost three when we came back to the states. I’d love to go to Heidelberg to see where I spent the years of my life. Pictures make it look gorgeous.

She is SO cute! I am hoping to get a dog of my own at the end of summer. I have a big trip coming up in May so that is why I am postponing getting one until then.

She is SO adorable, what a sweetie! Easy to love, by the looks, and she seems to be settling in really well and loving all the attention.

🚤 loved this blog.

Oh my those ears are adorable. Kiki is a sweetheart!

🐶🐾 Nothing like dog energy! Kiki is so freaking ADORABLE! I love her already - so nice to see how much joy she brings to the family, including Gus Buster. Can't wait for her Vlogmas initiation - she strikes me as Christmas lover 😅. Also can't wait for her to meet Tamzin - that should be fun! Haven't had dogs since I lost my two rescues within a week of each in 2015. Still too painful to talk about but I definitely want my niece and nephew to have their first pet so stay tuned. Rescue dogs are the best, most loyal, snuggle champions - Welcome Kiki 😊.

I've been struggling with a second brain system too! I finally landed on a pack of 2.5x4in notebooks to dump all my thoughts and then transfer all the important stuff to notion. I'm actually really happy with the system. I love your notebook too! I'm excited to see how it evolves 👻

Rescues rule!

🐕🐶 Aww Kiki is so cute! Congrats on the new family member! I have two very clingy cats. Their names are Kora and Suki. They're really sweet.

She's so cute Andrea

Love Kiki’s ears! They kind of remind me of Piglet’s ears! 😊

Awww hello new doggo friend!

❤ awwe Kiki is sooooo cute... I have a Border Collie (coming up to 12 years old) who still manages to win me over every day by using puppy eyes.

☕ First drafts are REALLY hard for me... I LOVE to edit and can't wait to get to the editing stage because I feel like that's where the story starts to take shape in the way I've always imagined it. And it's difficult during the first draft stage because my word vomit prose is NEVER as perfect as it is in my mind palace. Self-doubt is like a rite of passage in my first draft process. What works for me is re-reading my original first drafts of stories I've edited and seeing how the stories evolve. It gives me enough hope to start writing even if it's not that good. To paraphrase Terry Pratchett's quote: "First drafts are dumping the sand in the sandbox while editing is building the sandcastle" :)

Thank you for sharing your challenges with self-doubt. I'm trying to push myself back into academic writing to get some 1st author publications under my belt for tenure. I always feel like I have nothing to say and my research isn't important.

you've totally got this! you're a pro remember?!