24:00 The summary

Thank you. First grandchild...and she is a dfk.

Two collabs I didn’t think I’d need!

My in-laws and I got along great… until our first kid became a preschooler, we definitely didn’t see eye to eye on discipline. They’re super religious and always quote “spare the rod spoil the child,” from the Bible and I guess that means you can use corporal punishment to discipline your kiddos. I did spank my son in all honesty and it just felt wrong I felt like a horrible mom, enter my search of parenting books and finding this wonderful life changing channel(: They believe in spanking kids with a wooden spoon… Mr. Spoon is what they called it when my husband was little (sounds creepy like out of a horror movie) and we almost got into a physical fight over them wanting to spank my son with this dumb spoon! I finally texted her later saying you know, there’s a reason your son doesn’t open up to you about much, doesn’t call you on his own, it’s because all those years ago, you instilled in him it was safer to lie or hide from you than confess the truth and be beat for it. I don’t want that for my kid. She actually tried to file a restraining order against me after I sent her that message, of course there was no evidence of abuse or physical harm to uphold the order, I know wives always have beef with their mother-in-laws but that woman needs some help😂 Love your content💕

Yes I did that for my child! When she was crying herself to sleep I was crying in the shower! I am from Ethiopia we don’t have a such thing! I thought I was being smarter than my parents!!!😢😢😢😢😢😢 I learned now they are right and I was wrong

Oh my gosh!!! My two favorite people are in one place. I have been following Keir for a long time.

Dr. Becky thank you 🙏🏽

Dr Gaber blames parents for everything he even claimed ADHD isn’t real and a result of children trying to escape reality Which isn’t true at all ADHD is genetic and children with ADHD have some of the most patient and calm parents.

One of the best things I’ve learned about having a baby is: slow down. We go through life in such a hurry with everything deadlines and exams and due dates when kids come we treat milestones as dead lines we NEED to finish by. When I had my first son he completely refused to sleep in a cot by himself and i tried every single method to encourage him. I imagined myself as these mothers with no boundaries who has her six year old in the bed with her. Then I just gave up trying i opened his cot and put it adjacent to our bed whenever he woke up he used to crawl to us and sleep next to me he did that every night. When he turned 2 I put his cot in his room and put him in his cot he kissed me good night and went to sleep Been sleeping in his own ever since.

Wow. My job is NOT to end the tantrum. This is the part I was missing. I have been doing as you said, but I thought my actions would dissipate the big emotions of my little one. I have very frustrated and wondered if I needed to do more, do different, even resort to old school methods like older generations…. But now I can gain more patience I think, by understanding my job is to be there, not to fix.

Thanks Dr. Becky for allowing me to be a shy ADULT

Thank you ❤❤❤

What about lying about boundary crossings? Breaking rules or offending others, and then not understanding why it is important to apologize, if we value the relationship. There are people in our life who are avoidantly attached and who do use indirect and passive aggressive communication. I don't know how to talk to him about other people's communication and how it hurts them. I'm working on getting new people in our life but that's the reality of it.

Wxcellent

Exxcellent😊

For to work and buy them something nice on the way back. Hokus pokus now they are perfectly fine 😂

I've seen kids pause and redirect their anger when they realise there will be a consequence for hitting. Then they let their anger out in a more constructive way, and no innocent bystander child or adult gets hurt.

I came here looking for this, and I found it. I'm so glad. Thank you so much @Good Inside :)

snap on roaring before

Sadly vocal fry. I can't.

Please support my low-stimulation story telling KZbin channel 😃I bring stories to life through slow animations and discuss the messages of the book with the kids! It would mean the world to me if I could finally get monetised, I have been working so hard on this channel for almost a year and I won't be able to do it much longer without the support.

Let a child struggle. It pushes them to figure it out

In one year a child’s thoughts and feelings emotions and physical health habits will change when a parent figure is no longer in the picture. Now my question is why does it keep happening in different homes why is this behavior continue to be over look by social workers . No one is perfect so if they tells me you need to take this class or course and you follow through it and finish at the end of the day once is all said and done. I truly don’t know where to start how or what can I do to get the support I need I don’t feel guilty but I do see the challenges the children go through. I need someone one to guide me exactly what I need to do so I can show up after 3 years.

I love how at the end Kier whispers, as if it’s our inner parent, telling us we are “Good Inside” as long as we’re trying. So much appreciation for your humility and support.

Wow thanks

I am a mother of 3 and grandmother of 6 and I'm wondering how much experience you have had. I strongly disagree with you and believe you should teach your child consequences *and* also behavioral management. In the heat of the moment, of course a child will not think about consequences; however, if a parent takes the time to talk through what happened and why, leaving the doors of communication open, a lesson will often be learned and they may slowly begin to adjust their behavior in the future and learn to moderate impulses. As you know, there are plenty of adults who don't moderate their behaviors and there are too many people in this world who have never received consequences for their actions. Just look at many of our "powerful" leaders. Do you want your child to be like them? I have always had a wonderful relationship with my children and they are all happy, good people who are also financially successful. And they are very good parents. And also children are very different and some just have big emotions. An individual needs individual teachings that will reach them - not a one size fits all parent. Just wondering about your long-term experience - not your client's experiences.

Thank you, always.

Good Inside actually is Gentle Parenting™, but neither are "gentle" as in the word gentle. But in practice, the two methodologies are pretty much the same and I'm grateful to live in an age where they are taught.

This is so helpful! Thank you ❤

I dont get this. Punishment is not equivalent to consequence. In life there are consequences to everything you do. Natural and fair consequences of course: Positive discipline is a good thing. In early childhood I think it’s important. And yelling is toxic, but not speaking respect fully to your Boss Will have a natural consequence: you’ll be fired.

Please help me

So helpful. Thank you

STOP CURSING PLZ IM IN THE CAR WITH MY KIDS 😢

You helping me so much with my family's problems, thank you

Ventura county we can hear you, Thank you for helping my family.

🙏🏾 thank you!

🥹🥲🤍

My middle child is all of these! He’s amazing in so many ways. But a DFK he certainly is. As a side note… I think I was also one. 😅We’re together 24/7 as he’s home educated. It’s a wild ride! I struggle sometimes with my own emotional regulation and with a stroppy, tantruming 2 year old too, it can all get a bit much for us… but as we move forward together, I can see that things are improving and I’m learning alongside him. Your content has been invaluable to my growth. Thank you Dr Becky. ❤

Listening to Gabor talking about the right to the full range of emotions has my stomach in knots, because my 3yo has recently been asking me to role play some scenes from the montessori preschool he's been in for 2 months, and I just about burst out crying when he told me that only silent crying is allowed in his school and that his teacher tells him "you are not quiet" when he cries from missing his parents, and that his parents want him to "be happy and smile". I've suspected that the "calm environment where kids help kids" is potentially oppressive, and I knew he was depressed, but I didn't know it was this bad. Not only can he not cry when he needs to, but I think a loud laugh from joy would be corrected as well. I thought I could protect him by paying a fortune to put him in a gentle, high-quality environment. It is so hard to find childcare that is not going to traumatize our kids. 😢

I am grateful for this talk as I am an educator and I feel that this issue should be a concern, not just for parents but for educational institutions as well. I am slowly realizing, speaking from personal experience, that adults are having an extremely difficult time to be literally "away from their phones or devices" (work-related activities would the exception). I feel that it is so much harder to help the kids with gadget usage if we the adults do not fix the issue first regarding our own gadget usage. I hope this too would be addressed.

Love thisss! GREAT advise for when my kids are a little older! Thank you Dr. Kennedy!! kzbin.info-jrBvKFsauA?si=1nkKNwSXdw8Ka-IT

Firstly, I don’t know why I’m not seeing more views! This is viral worthy information! I feel seen because of you on this parenting journey! You have helped me navigate some sticky and tricky scenarios with my DFK daughter. Much gratitude. On a side note, I’ve been coming up against the ever more present “ This is boring” statement from my daughter. We want our children to develop resilience through tolerating a range of uncomfortable emotions. The dopamine fix is real in our culture and has a way of seeping in even in our most fervent efforts to mange it. Do you have any insight on this topic? Thought it might be a good one to suss out. ❤

Such a great help, detailed for the needy moms. Thanks dr. Becky

Would it be OK if somebody renamed this? It's muddled up with the one above it. I've saved it because it was so helpful.

That’s such an awesome episode, it answered my question of my sons bad sleep. Thank thank you so much ❤

MORE on this please!!!!!

This may help me with my grown neuodivergent daughter and grandson age 8

Becky, I would really love it if you could do another podcast zero-ing in on resolving shame in children.

My 5 year old is feeling shame in that she insists she is a bad kid if she does something wrong. Nothing I say helps. What do I do and say to get through to her that she is in fact an amazing kid?

I just listened to this yesterday and last night my kid - who isn't deeply feeling (most of the time) - had a meltdown over math. He's really great at math and they were doing long division and he was having trouble and the shame got him. I was able to recognize it immediately because of the show and I let him get it out and calm down. He wanted to leave and go to the other room and I calmly told him to come back and we don't run from problems. We did it together. He doesn't know his times tables by heart and needs help counting numbers to get the question - he felt shame about that... no problem, count the numbers if you need to! He finished the problems and he seemed to understand the process way better.