Your Kid's Non-Negotiable Needs

Рет қаралды 53,228

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 43

@Day_byday 6 ай бұрын

[ 4 non-negotiable needs ] 1. having a secure attachment with parent 2. rest - doing nothing to make the relationship work (unconditional love) 3. be able to experience all emotions 4. free spontaneous play out in nature

@6886butterfly 5 ай бұрын

If i see Dr. Gabor Mate’s name on a title i quickly click on it and listen to him because i know an imperfect parent like me will learn a lot from him. Thank God for people like him. For his wisdom and the courage to share it🙏🏻☝🏻

@heatherwallace3397 21 күн бұрын

Sleep training… you don’t have to leave the room and shut the door. You don’t even have to leave the baby’s side. The baby is upset because they aren’t used to the change (laying baby down awake instead of feeding to sleep.) So you can be there with your baby and support your baby emotionally.. and your baby may not stop crying at all as you’re shushing and providing gentle touch, but that doesn’t mean the situation is wrong. The cortisol level rises. And the cortisol level lowers. And you can see that their breathing and heart rate slows down. And you are connecting FULLY with the child the next day which as you said mitigates any negative effects. (Thank you for saying that!)

@lilitheve6118 2 ай бұрын

Thank You both so much I cried and smiled cried again and then ☺ So much Love 😍 My hand is on my heart and even though I struggle on the outside I remain good on the inside Have prepared a special breakfast 🥣 for my 8 year old boy and my 65 year old mom I really really really needed to hear this talk Thanks Again and so many blessings to both of you your families and all the others and theirs listening 👂 into this talk . You are loved From #SouthAfrica

@juliaglanville8625 8 ай бұрын

Great dialogue and meeting of minds! I hope this connection continues.

@Roloves-frank 6 ай бұрын

The conversation about resilience is eye-opening. The meaning of “rest” is huge. 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 The discussion on sleep training and empathy are warming my heart.

@thescowlingschnauzer 8 ай бұрын

At about 11:15 Gabor Maté lists the 4 needs as attachment, relationship, rest (times when the relationship does not depend on them), and play.

@vnessa9481 5 ай бұрын

The third is the need to experience all the emotions (around 9:03). At 11:15 he missed it out in his recap. What he said was the attachment relationship as one thing then rest and then he went to number 4

@nl7247 Ай бұрын

Love Dr Mate and Dr Becky’s works and messages a lot. Thank you. ❤

@killa46464 15 күн бұрын

I agree totally with this interpretation & perception of the human social condition in a modern society ! 👌🏼thank you for the podcast . ❤

@zaidabuffkins6149 6 ай бұрын

Two of the very best minds of our time❤❤❤

@InkblottedPages-sz1be 2 ай бұрын

Kids “act out” when they don’t have their needs met. Basic needs 8:00 1)Secure attachment -emotional 2) rest -knowing they don’t need to constantly do something in order to make the relationship work “I love you if you’re compliment” 3)the ability to experience all emotions 4) free spontaneous play in nature

@canoar520 2 ай бұрын

❤ parenting is a non-stop learning🫶 amazing content 🤩I had goosebumps 🙏🏽 I am so happy I am doing the right thing to my son , knowledge confirms our instincts 🫶

@mindzeyelovellution 7 ай бұрын

This is great. I would love to hear more from the 2 of you together!

@nooshnabi9248 Жыл бұрын

Very useful and helpful. Thanks so much!

@jod5834 Ай бұрын

thank you!

@heatherdaly1220 3 ай бұрын

What a great collab, thank you so much!

@ysteinberg6482 3 ай бұрын

Loved it - thank you very much! You should have strength to continue your important task.

@MarinaKor3011 Жыл бұрын

Thank you! It was an amazing talk!

@michamuller5656 5 ай бұрын

Brilliant!!!

@canoar520 2 ай бұрын

Incredible 🤩

@joanneross5575 4 ай бұрын

There’s so much more about the sleep training method I wonder if Gabor knows how it is even done. You don’t just leave the room and they’re on their own. I hope that you are both versed in the training. These babies wake up happy and well rested. I respect both of you.

@karacole2304 2 ай бұрын

Look into the work of Greer Kirshenbaum, a mother and neuroscientist. She wrote an excellent book called The Nurture Revolution. It’s a must!

@abbyk36 Ай бұрын

100% agree with this comment. The vast majority of the research shows that sleep training does not harm the child. It should only take a few days and if the child is still crying a lot, the parent is not doing the training correctly. Independent sleep needs to be taught to some kids and most parents don’t enjoy being their child’s sleep crutch.

@marianemashkalo4182 13 күн бұрын

@@abbyk36why have a child if you see them as a burden? don't want to hug, breastfeed,rock to sleep, soothe... Be childfree then. Sleep training is torture. How exactly is research done?

@abbyk36 13 күн бұрын

@@marianemashkalo4182 a simple google search on “baby sleep training studies” should kick you right off your high horse. Babies sleep better and parents are happier.

@gretchenfrank3647 5 ай бұрын

Guilt free education. Thank you!

@SAndo42 Ай бұрын

Saying mother has to go back just because of economic concerns is so wrong. Women are more than being a mom and it is absolutely draining to stay with a baby at home regardless how much you love them. It helps the mother a lot to have a break during the work day. Regarding sleep training, my child never sleeps when I am by her side. She wants me by her side but just wants to play all night and never sleeps when i go to her. So, not going to her helps both of us sleep. I hate it so much and it is the hardest thing I ever did in my life, but she needs to sleep to grow and develop. So, going to your child at night whenever they want is not the automatic right thing to do for every child.

@ardy6099 Ай бұрын

My ex has ODD and he is a MASSIVE pain in the ass!!!!

@renatakrystian3886 3 ай бұрын

❤❤❤

@orlaithbrennan9972 4 ай бұрын

❤

@user-im4pt6br4t 4 ай бұрын

A child needs a Mother and a Father. Why do we know that? We know that for a number of reasons but specifically because evolution created it that way. Here's the problem. Theology is mixed into many of these family studies muddled by assumptions and out date tropes. Not enough support is established for Father's because inevitably there are winners and losers in Family Court. There are frequent references to theological characters making demands on a Mother to give up their child to prove maternity. Many officials called that wisdom. Today we use DNA science. Today you force people together. If they want out there is no parenting schedule just demands for resources. I would argue that "in the best interest of the child" is not the standard. It perhaps never was as attorneys judges and ad litem make names for themselves not based in science but based on theology while our children lose 100% of the time.