My theory is she was pissed he didn't want to have sex with her that night, then send the text to see if she had a chance to piss him off. I can't imagine having the chance to get with James Acaster and deciding to be that weird and rude instead

I wish Nish Kumar were less of a runt

Meanwhile I dried my hands on my dad's dressing gown for my entire childhood and nobody ever found out

I've never heard anyone else ever mention Budgens lol. We always used to go there when we visited our gran in Norfolk

He really was a wild man

Wait, that WASN'T Josh?

This reminds me of Stephen merchant playing Rage Against the Machine for scouts

This would have been AMAZING on wilty

The funniest part is Josh's amazement that the power should cut out if you short circuit an electrical appliance. Has he never tried to get toast out of a toaster with a knife before?

From Beale to Ghostbusters…. We’ve come a long way baby.

I would love to hear James's entire story, but I have to keep pausing it and attempting to return to it later because of the constant jarring interruption from incredibly loud, obnoxious, prolonged, unhinged donkey-braying (which presumably is meant to be laughter?) but serves only to disrupt the flow of the story and rip the listener violently out of the moment, making it difficult to focus on, follow, get carried along with, or enjoy the fabulous, twisting and turning, incredibly creative, always surprising, highly entertaining, never disappointing mind of James Acaster

this has to be the funniest scrape idk how its not more popular 😭😭

Sex is just weird. I've never had a one night stand like that. I've had an 11 hour date that ended in a one night stand, but that's a very different thing. I've never picked up a stranger. The whole idea just feels uncomfortable, but I suppose you might and then try to get yourself comfortable, and then fail to become comfortable, but still feel the need to appear confident and in control of the situation, especially as a woman. But yeah the get me a take away thing is pretty weird. Going to get dinner together seems like the correct course of action. And LIke, maybe join me for a shower as foreplay I can see, but draw me a bath? for a dude you don't even know? I guess she wanted to feel special and pampered, but that's not something you can force on a stranger. Bleh. Sex is weird. Knowing what you want / will want is hard. And trying to force comfort with someone new... I can understand the desire to do that, and the difficulty in our society of acting on your libido in the moment and not wanting to let an opportunity with an exciting stranger go by. The stories movies and tv tell us make it seem like we're supposed to, but you just can't force vibes with a new person that way. And yeah it is a bit weird how sex driven men seem to be. I've only recently accepted that it isn't a myth, and I'm iin my early 40s.

Sounds like he's got camping stamina, he's cool with whatever, but not camping knowledge inspite of scouts.

Does nobody know how to spell cabbage? Wth?

why are these comments all miserable

That picture is perfect 😂

jish kumar

Pure gold! Everytime I listen to it😂😂😂❤

*REFLECTIVE SURFACES.*

I would love to see a Friday night dinner style tv program based on these and at the end of each episode it comes up based on a true story.

i love hearing josh just laughing hysterically it absolutely makes these stories

Sean Walsh sucks

smoooth bricks

Fantastic story

Please 🙏 someone sort the sound levels out on these recordings. The static and feedback is horrendous. So is the loud cackling laughter.

I could do without the incessant cackling.

He said 'fucktard' if anyone is interested

acfe √ 😄🤍😂

Shows James in a fucking great light, showed those little shits what's up. This is how the move 'Nobody' should've gone.

I have a fever, and the only cure is more conga!

I’m amazed that the snake is ever found if it’s escaping outside the home

I live in Cambridge and I have no idea why he'd go all the way to Tesco Extra. There isn't one in the city, you have to go to a village half an hour away, which is like a £30 taxi journey 😂😂😂

The Stella guy 😅

Was reminded of this when watching an outtake from taskmaster and Jessica Knappett was talking about how she had been locked inside her flat earlier that day, and James looked almost traumatized as she was talking,as though he was remembering this scrape.

the attachment style she has needs to be studied by scientists

I thought it was The Wild Scenario until this very moment

The CHAOS Acaster paints in this scene is incredible 😂😂😂😂 I think James has such a good rapport with kids because he is basically still a kid himself. Not surprised to learn one of his previous jobs was as a learning support assistant in a school, and between this and the cabbage incident, you can tell there’s a child-like whimsy and warmth to his personality

I have a stitch 😂😂😂😂

POTUSA - Naked and Famous, nice lol absolutely love that album

One of the best and funniest scrapes ever. James seems to have a charm level of 10, but it comes with a corresponding level of haplessness

God how they interrupt him. Unbearable.

"this is a very different direction for Mike" 😂

This is why Europe hates us

Why does everyone just despise James in every story?? 😂

Josh widdecombe laughs like zippy 🤣🤣🤣

More examples of this high quality privatised rail service. Delays every other train, wheels just falling off, tickets costing hundreds of pounds each, staff having their working rights removed, endless strikes due to corporate greed and lies...

"I went to a board games club. I love Cluedo" I immediately knew where this was going. You sweet summer child.

the way james speaks is so endearing

That eggman!