James Acaster goes to house party, sleeps with girl, gets chased by dog - Classic Scrapes

[@studiocelestedesign]

He really sounds like the sweetest, actually.

[@hectormugwump5530]

He's a shining example of a person. I bloody adore him.

[@ouiseylou]

My favourite thing about this is Acaster prefacing it with "I don't come off very well in this story" as though he's about to reveal he was a bit of a cad...and then nothing in the story can even be misconstrued as him being anything worse than a bit odd

[@borismuller86]

Louise Emms ...a bit?

[@LockSteady]

I feel you... hell, I'm a dude and I'm enchanted

[@swine13]

To be fair, "a bit odd" is not "very well", so he's not lying.

[@nouveaucourteduree9836]

@@swine13 Honestly this story just made me want to kiss him 😂

[@m.r.9127]

What is a cad

[@memondayz]

Imagine all the untold scrapes James has just sitting in his head

[@DanteneNyx]

The “Happy Birthday” sealed it for me

[@carveylover]

I love listening to the stories having to do with ladies. James is very very cute and he doesn't know how cute he is. My friend likes to call him a lanky noodle which he is. He is funny, smart, and handsome the total package. His awkwardness is part of his charm.

[@astrangermagi]

"Uh, no never heard of her again. Can't blame her" "..." "..." "..." "JAMES ACASTER EVERYONE"

[@esquilax5563]

Can't believe he forgot he said he was going to kiss her, that's hilarious 😂

[@zaramalik3797]

12:40 For some reason, I got really excited when James said he drank Snapple. 13:40 TASKMASTER!! We know where you got that fact from now James.

[@iurim]

I kinda remember this fact, in wich episode was it?

[@rozturner8110]

To this day I wonder if that girl ever listened to this

[@benibbotson2014]

Nice profile pic

[@rozturner8110]

Ben Ibbotson thank you :))

[@DaedalusCommunity]

Does she burn like the sun?

[@AnnabellaRedwood]

I was getting dressed listening to this and totally lost it and fell on my bed and just laughed my head off! God I love James!!!!!

[@beckynelson6786]

He tells a story so well.

[@MrGhostTheBigRoast]

I came away from the story with a deeper admiration for the wonderful Mike Wozniak. What a gent.

[@bladeeshotgf5500]

omg I would have died if he said “just so you know I’m going to kiss you” to me 🥲

[@opame1560]

i LOVE josh’s laugh oh my lord what a happy sound

[@Widdekuu91]

You're on your own. :)

[@jamieb7138]

If I met him in person I'd want to tell him to shut up every time he laughed, even his speaking voice is punchable

[@TheDareD3vil]

B B even your online voice is punchable, so I guess you two share something in common.

[@jamieb7138]

@@TheDareD3vil your hard

[@Jennyfisch]

I kind of think it's like Jimmy Carr's laugh. Funny and contagious at first, but really annoying after a while.

[@221b-Maker-Street]

I love that he calls her a _lady._ Ladies don't have to be 50, Josh! 🥰 Am picturing James doing awkward push-ups on the tiny kitchen sofa. 🤣 (I got my Wozniaks confused for a minute there, thought he was going to be talking about Steve Jobs' Apple co-founder. 📱🖥)

[@Sunnycolada]

Don't get me wrong but James wasn't the player in this story the girl picked him up

[@sofiaguerrero0969]

Yeppp 😂 she’s the one that talked to him first, the one who reminded him of kissing her, and she’s the one that took him back to her place. James is so cute 😂😂

[@JehanineMelmoth]

Ah, bless him. He’s a sweet boy.

[@cpt.kagoul]

This guy is on another level of comedy

[@cycc186]

Admiring your skills on the tiny sofa. Brilliant.

[@NoYeahNah]

That's pretty much what my husband said to me the first night we met. "I am very sorry to interrupt your story, but I have been wanting to do this all night, so before I forget..." Kisses me. "Okay, carry on." He was also very drunk.

[@leonchal]

Emma The great-grandchildren are going to love this story.

[@sophielou2929]

fietfEit not to be cringe but that’s so fucking cute

[@AE-gl6cb]

'the window of the party'

[@Amblin80s]

"Open up this dishwasher"... LOL

[@Widdekuu91]

I was busy trying to craft with tíny gemstones and magnets. When he said 9:16 I just dropped the full amount of tiny stones from my hands and laughed my bum off. I'll have to spend ages cleaning the floor and re-glueing everything, but it was worth it.

[@borismuller86]

Widdekuu91 ...are you a wizard?

[@Widdekuu91]

@@borismuller86 :P Well, I cosplay Bellatrix Lestrange, if that answers your question. :)

[@crissy4445]

Why can’t he tell this story on stage!! Best thing I’ve ever fucking heard 😂😂

[@itsmelive]

smooth bricks.

[@Maazin5]

Mike Wozniak is such a gentleman

[@jasonhenley1985]

I would love to see a Friday night dinner style tv program based on these and at the end of each episode it comes up based on a true story.

[@gracie4732]

“this colander looks roomy”

[@borismuller86]

James’ life reminds me an uncanny amount of Mark from Peep Show.

[@user-cm9sf7vs5h]

This sounds more like an Inbetweeners skit, we've all been there 😂

[@Chigz10]

lol this story has some parallels to the peep show episode 'on the pull'

[@Sam1point2]

That just got better and better

[@chankoey9147]

Mike Wozniak. What a real gent.

[@dashiejinxx100]

Classic Alistair

[@johnnyjohnson7416]

Amazing story teller 😂

[@normplatt7549]

Great chuckle brother!

[@shelbyvillerules9962]

Barry or Paul specifically?

[@mrbackwards263]

Classic scrape. Love it. Keep scraping by x

[@lewis4554]

Do you think the girl ever listened to this? Hahahahah

[@destroythehuman3380]

Lewis - She’s probably calling him 24/7.. he’s gonna be money bags soon.

[@cecilia927]

Destroy TheHuman they never exchanged names so no

[@nousername1888]

@@cecilia927 until she sees him on tv and thinking "he looks oddly familiar"

[@kunkashi8208]

These are so great!

[@slipknot95maggot]

Ooh no you all def spend more than two weeks kissing 'cuz I'm pulling that average down quite a bit XD

[@LockSteady]

happy birthday? I fucking love this dude

[@cycc186]

James left this scrap out of the book he wrote. Want to know why as it was such a good story.

[@donatask76]

James is very funny

[@omaidsayed639]

James told a woman that he was gonna kiss her after the story, that lady went on to be JK Ro- fuck he just said it in the video. thought i was so smart

[@chicanery358]

Lol he shared that armadillo fact on taskmaster too

[@DancingVioleta]

happy birthday?

[@chelseawildflowerloftinwey1945]

best part

[@codyhannahmary83]

Why's this had only 280000 ish views. It's talking about James kissing. Who else wants to kiss James? 🙋🏼‍♀️

[@theyearwas1473]

I'm straight but I'll give it the college try

[@c.l.p.8363]

The thirst is real.

[@Widdekuu91]

@@c.l.p.8363 To be fair, most of us haven't touched someone in at least a year. And some unlucky ones haven't touched someone in many years. Or never...imagine some poor 13-14 year olds that were about to get interested in dating and now this.

[@dhaliazaid4479]

@@Widdekuu91 you're describing my life now😭✋🏼

[@CazkiwiNZ]

🙋🙋🙋

[@user-mp6sz6zq8n]

CABADGED

[@BenJ0rdan]

Ben Whalley Gmail

[@annmitchell4663]

Keep thinking who I could cabbage....lol

[@chundering]

Ben Jordan Ben this is gonna be really weird but I’m 100% sure we followed each other on Instagram in like year 8

[@cbfedge5593]

@@chundering that's pretty cool

[@cbfedge5593]

Oi oi, Savoy

[@tasnimnaz7109]

10:24 😂😂😂

[@robmckennie4203]

2 weeks in your life is the same as 40 seconds a day for 80 years. have you spent 40 seconds seconds kissing someone today? i haven't

[@YodasPapa]

It's one of those facts that sounds plausible until you think how anyone would ever work it out, and then you know it's completely made up.

[@annesilva3542]

Maybe tho my grandparents were married for 60 years and I saw them kiss every day, like a little good morning kiss and you got to think that some times you kiss for longer, half an hour kissing would knock 45 days of your math

[@michael777e]

Unfortunately I haven't even spent 40 seconds in the last 20 years

[@Widdekuu91]

It's important to find someone that can properly kiss though. I had the misfortune of dating a person that prefered the "washingmachine" technique. After 3 turns to the left, right and left with his tongue, he spat all the saliva he had, in my mouth. And he was absolutely godhonest convinced that this was how you kissed and refused to change his skillfull technique. I don't want to sound thirsty, but I am genuienly curious as to what a 'normal' kiss is like. (Which, knowing I've been in an adult relationship for 4,5 years, is a sad thing to say.)

[@themaggattack]

@@Widdekuu91 Girl, move on! Go find you someone who can kiss!

[@mimiluluXx]

smoooth bricks

[@piped1994]

Wat a lad lol

[@222browneyes]

Josh's laugh is horrendous.

[@mrnickless]

It's a very punchable laugh

[@codyhannahmary83]

What I don't understand is 'i knew I wasn't really going to fit on the sofa' Cowgirl??? Even reverse cowgirl seems obvious on a small sofa.

[@sofiaguerrero0969]

I think he wanted missionary? Idk he seems like the type.

[@YTSIMPY]

haha

[@Endoskeleton322]

Oooohhhh MIKE not Steve!

[@saar144]

He’s not gay? *weeping*

[@oldgranite6467]

He was married but his wife left him for Mr. Bean. Incredible but true

[@sofiaguerrero0969]

@@oldgranite6467 it was a girlfriend, not wife

[@nix2939]

These are actually really hard to listen to with that constant laugh

[@sarah3796]

EEEeeeeeeeeee I want be that girl!!! so bad

[@mrnickless]

Fucking Hell!! Josh Widdicombe is clearly too used to forcing laughter on The Last Leg. Painful.

[@jamieb7138]

Can you please let the man finish his story, instead of butting in with shit jokes and pointless comments

[@ninjawhoya2073]

I wouldnt take Nish either

[@adamtzsch]

James is great, but the leprosy thing isn’t true.

[@arandompersonr9136]

rats and mice can catch it as well

[@luke-alex]

To be honest, it didn't sound true, but it's hardly relevant

[@ibraheemeastwood7022]

Is that it?

[@nousername1888]

I have a feeling ur not the real Simon Bird and on the off chance that is ur real name then i have the feeling ur not the guy from inbetweeners

[@bahjomohamed1636]

This was annoying laughter

[@themonado5030]

This isn't very funny