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@victoryamartin9773 Күн бұрын
I can't say I understand the difference between freeze and shut down in my body after listening to the video. For the last year and some change I have considered myself to be in freeze after being screamed at by my best friend's husband for "not appreciating his wife." I completely did not understand his outburst or the punishment he inflicted on me for my alleged lack of appreciation. He told me I would have to pay him $77 every time I wished to speak to her from that time on, and then they both went silent except to make further threats intermittently whenever he did not approve something I was doing to protect myself from being further traumatized. Since I have not been able to make them leave, I still often hear him screaming or yelling behind the locked door in my house, where they have holed up and refused to leave since I told them to go 14 months ago. That continues to retraumatize me. Thus, I haven't had much opportunity to thaw from my frozen state, which has hijacked my problem-solving capability and immobilized me in fear of their continued abuse.
@isobelhumphreys3098 25 күн бұрын
Coming back to this video - thank you so much ❤
@TanjaWindegger 25 күн бұрын
@isobelhumphreys3098 glad its useful 🌻🦋✨️
@iconsnart Ай бұрын
Beautiful Tanja❤❤❤ Ive missed you! Sending so much love, i am much more gentle, and also practice being slow.
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@iconsnart so happy for you 💛🦋✨️🥰 and it's lovely to hear from you again. I often wondered how you are doing and how all the many things going on in your life have "evolved"...
@lucidity_world Ай бұрын
Thank you. Hope that you had an enjoyable xmas doing whatever you chose to do. This video is on a topic that has become one of my biggest curiosities about myself. I have had a very odd journey with sadness. I think, as a child, I had separated myself from it. Most of my life it was missing until recently and when I got it back I had no idea what it was and how to relate to it, or that it was even an expression. I did not recognise it. I appear to have lived most of my life with no idea what genuine sadness felt like. Now that I have it back in my emotional suite, life feels more vivid and complete. There are indeed no such things as bad emotions. Rejecting an emotion was a detriment for me.
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@lucidity_world love this! Thanks for sharing. When I got to experience emotions in its purest form, I too realised that there is no bad emotion... 💛✨️🦋
@iconsnart Ай бұрын
❤❤❤
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
Hello 🌻lovely to hear from you again! 💛
@harshkum Ай бұрын
Good to hear, some wonderful morning wisdom ❤
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@harshkum 🥰✨️🦋 thank you! and good to hear from you
@Seeking_Myself Ай бұрын
What a useful video in the run-up to the potential busyness of the season. I wish you a peaceful Christmas and a healthy and happy 2025
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
🌻thank you so much! same to you! I am looking forward to the adventures of 2025
@isobelhumphreys3098 Ай бұрын
Pain as evidence - I wrote that in my journal last week. Hearing my reality in your words.. I'm not sure how to feel just yet but thank you
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
my heart goes out to you. sending an extra dose of love 💛 and rainbows🌈
@Tom-nj9jh Ай бұрын
My degree has been dragging on for 8 years now... ive completed most of it in 4 years. Unmedicated. After the pandemic i found it increasingly harder to focus. I stopped smoking weed. But as i was trying to stop my doctor diagnosed me with ADHD and ive been on stimulants ever since. Quit both stimulants and weed, but even after 2 months despite having very good mental health and happiness after years of suffering, i could no longer focus. I only have 1 course left for my degree and I will be lucky if I pass the exam today. And that is with medication. That is when I started to take my thoughts of possible cptsd seriously. I used to perform way better than this unmedicated. The telltale sign is that I can be mentally very well then a trigger will cause me to spiral and dissociate all over again.
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
my experience was very similar. I always had learning difficulties, but could focus my attention way better when I was not on medication. now I have been of meds since 2018 and my ability to focus has returned :) it took a good two years to recover from all the side effects from the meds I took for the cptsd all the best for your exam today!
@Seeking_Myself Ай бұрын
Hi Tanja. This is such an insightful video. I need to go off and process this for my own cPTSD. Thank you
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
thank you! 🦋 💛 curious how it goes211111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111110 (oops and a little message from my little tiger at the end - I let you interpret this 😻
@Seeking_Myself Ай бұрын
@TanjaWindegger 🥰🐾 Aw, how wonderful! How sweet of them to say 'Merry Christmas' to me! And a Merry Christmas to your little tiger from me! 🎄
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@Seeking_Myself thank you! Love it when he does that. It rarely happens these days as he is not that well
@Seeking_Myself Ай бұрын
@@TanjaWindegger I'm sorry he's not a well boy. It's heartbreaking when they are ill. They're so much part of our families. A hug from me to him
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@@Seeking_Myself thank you! yes, it's a special bond. treasuring every moment I still have with him...
@kevintheoculus2428 Ай бұрын
I am so tired of my CPTSD I just keep going doing things and people accept me as the grumpy old man. BUT! they know they can rely on me.
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
that is a beautiful quality and sadly a bit rare to find reliable people
@roberttweten Ай бұрын
What about when the thought you’re not doing enough or stuck in trauma loops and haven’t moved forward? I start to panic. Wondering if you’ve ever heard of this?
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
yes! sadly very common 💛
@cafelecrem71 Ай бұрын
I cycle through this too. You’re not alone. Trying to move and do anything but then the nausea, diarrhea, headaches, panic attacks, crying, take over and little to nothing gets done. Try to accept where you are. Do one thing at a time. Rest self care. Sometimes you’re going to get less done. It happens to everyone but it feels exaggerated for us. Don’t stop trying. Whatever you do is enough so long as you’re accepting you and keep trying. We know this feeling will pass because it always does. Be gentle with yourself and it will pass sooner.❤
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@@cafelecrem71 beautifully said. thank you!
@cafelecrem71 Ай бұрын
@@roberttweten something I do sometimes to get unstuck is write a “did list”. I keep a list of everything that I do in my phone as I do it. Even the tiny things because they take time and energy ie. Brush teeth, shower, dress, walk dog, made healthy food, etc. at the end of the day I have proof that I’m doing things, that I’m not worthless that I am useful. It helps me be kinder to myself during the stuck times.
@mistjh Ай бұрын
Insightful, honest and very useful. Brilliant
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
🌻thank you !! very much appreciate your kind words
@johnrainsman6650 Ай бұрын
I'm mad at myself for how I handled a worker's mistakes--especially since he protected me. Let me give the context. I took the guy (who I think is about 25) to my colleague's office to talk to him about his tactility. He would tap coworkers a lot, but casually, not creepiIy. I told him he shouldn't touch anyone without consent and I asked my colleague--who was with us the whole time--if she had anything to add. The worker (let's call him Tom) was pretty quiet. Then that afternoon, he did something amazing. A biker realized his brakes stopped working, just as he was heading towards me. Tom pushed me out of the way and took the hit. He got scraped and landed hard on the cement. He was okay, he just had to band-aid up and take a few days off from work to rest. The next day, at a coffee shop, I overheard him and his family. Tom told his parents and teenage brother he felt he deserved what he got, for making anyone uncomfortable. His mom was all "You didn't mean to. We know you would never upset anyone on purpose. This John person mishandled the situation." And the brother said, "Did he really ask your boss if she had anything to add? That's so crueI." Finally, Tom's dad said "You didn't deserve the way John treated you. He should've just spoken to you one-on-one, politely, with compromise and reasonable limits. He was too black-and-white and insensitive. He should've asked for your side too." And you know what? By now, I agree. I should've been better. More patient, polite, and respectful. And you know, it's okay to *occasionally* tap a coworker, if it's someone who really likes you and you're having fun or sharing a laugh. I think that's what the dad meant by compromise and reasonable limits. Sure, Tom should've been more considerate, but I should've been too. He just had a different perspective at the time, and I didn't correctly it properly. I took away his dignity and self-respect. His brother said he wouldn't have taken the hit for me. And that doesn't offend me; I understand.
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
💛you still have the option to go and talk to him now and tell him how your perspective shifted after some reflection...
@johnrainsman6650 Ай бұрын
@@TanjaWindegger Yeah. Can I tell you how I want to word it? See, because I failed to correct him properly and made him feel bad about himself, I don't trust my speech skills anymore. I want to be EXTRA careful this time. What his parents and brother said really spoke to me.
@johnrainsman6650 Ай бұрын
Okay, we're on holiday break now, so I'm gonna write him a letter instead. Please respond when you're ready, because I didn't notice your heart and I definitely want to hear your opinion on the letter that I only _think_ is ready. Thanks. _"Tom, I wanted to write to you about what happened at work. I messed up. After you took the bike for me and got hurt, it made me feel bad about how I spoke to you previously. And I felt even worse when I overheard you and your family at the coffee shop, where I just happened to be. Your family's words really spoke to me, and I understand their view. You only meant to be outgoing with your coworkers, casually and innocently. Taps and tactile gestures can be that way, sure. I should've set you straight in a polite manner and avoided saying "touching without consent." That made you sound creepy and disgusting. You aren't. It really wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. It just needed some reasonable limits, as your dad said. The situation isn't I was right and you were wrong; it's a little more complicated than that. One wise saying is if you choose to be kind, you'll always be right. I was right in some ways, and I was right to talk to you, but I could've been MORE right by being kind to you. I think we all do things that come off the wrong way, and that's okay. Nobody's perfect. I should've said THAT instead. And I should've just privately chatted with you in the hall or elsewhere, not in the office with [his boss] present. That was not cool. I'm sure you were uncomfortable in that situation, when I filled you up with guilt. That's my fault. And it didn't help when I asked [his boss] if she had anything to add. That was a terrible thing to say right in front of you. She should've told me that. She should've stood up to me for you when given the opportunity to express her thoughts. As a matter of fact, she never should've allowed us three in her office like that. I don't even know why she had to be there. Like I said, you and I could've just talked in private. I should've asked for your side and view, and I should've been more patient and delicate. I was being kind of a jerk. I'm sorry for that. And I'm sorry I degraded you. You just made some mistakes, but you totally deserved some respect and dignity. I hope you're feeling better, physically and emotionally."_ How's that?
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@@johnrainsman6650 it's got to feel right for you. my opinion is irrelevant. I don't even know the people, was not part of that situation....
@Zeburd Ай бұрын
This is exactly the video I needed to find today, thank you
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
yeah! so happy to hear 🌞
@charitylove7378 Ай бұрын
I can’t hold a job anymore my triggers seem to be getting worse the older I get idk why, on top of the spinal problems I can’t seem to live a normal life it’s lonely and depressing 🥺
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
sometimes the triggers "feed a cycle" like keep the nervous system dysregulated so it's easier to get triggered. (hope that makes sense) sometimes it is because the job is not the right one for us anymore and it's time for a change.... etc... whatever it is, I get that it can feel lonely and depressing my heart goes out to you
@roberttweten Ай бұрын
In one now…complete mentally physically exhausted…it’s been hell. Plus the cptsd…the panic anxiety and depression.
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@@roberttweten my heart goes out to you 🌻
@roberttweten Ай бұрын
My thoughts get intrusive ruminate…tension in my neck migraines
@gryff8400 Ай бұрын
Thank you for such a calming quiet voice explaining a lovely calming principle 👍🏻🙂
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@gryff8400 🥰 thank you! I very much appreciate your beautiful message
@jennieforsberg4415 Ай бұрын
Thank you❤
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
🌻🌈
@nature-nomads Ай бұрын
❤
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
💛✨
@Seeking_Myself Ай бұрын
What a wonderful idea to choose a word for a month. I really like this, Tanja! Coming up to the New Year is a great time to think of 12 to play around with. I normally choose a word for the year, but I often lose sight of it by springtime🌸
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@Seeking_Myself exactly. And different seasons may call for different values and/or activities anyway 🦋
@barnerix Ай бұрын
Wow! That's the first time I hear some applicable hint on how to develop my own, individual (!) values. Everybody else always refers to values as given. That's so applicable! Thank you so much, dear Tanja! Liebe Grüße! 😊
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@@barnerix 🌻 so happy to hear! Danke
@anniscalling Ай бұрын
Thank you, I really needed this today. I was triggered today at work by an argument between my colleagues, and I was angry at myself at how long I had to spend to calm myself down and get back to a state where I could focus on work again. You reminded me to be more gentle with myself.
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
beautiful! so happy to hear 🌻holding yourselves with just a little more gentleness is magical to our healing. so powerful! and best part is that it's free!
@michaelsuperstar606 Ай бұрын
NO! You can free yourself.
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@@michaelsuperstar606 exactly 💯
@mynameisprivate3712 Ай бұрын
I would read comments and posts, watch videos of people who said they had healed and felt better. It was so baffling to me but it gave me hope. I am now 95% recovered in terms of severity of flashbacks and the patterns of behaviour associated with trauma. What you said in this video definitely resonates with my experience after having EMDR. Edited to add: my EMDR was fused with NLP and somatic elements that both myself and my therapist were familiar with.
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
@mynameisprivate3712 thanks for sharing. awesome! I am so happy for you 🌻🦋
@clownsyndrom Ай бұрын
33 years old. Every time I try to study it feels like I am going back to war or what ever. What I achieved in the last months was being able to sit through 40-50 minutes but I have the impression I can not memorize a lot and further I am just in pain all the time. Especially my, of course it can not be otherwise, head. I remember having seen your videos some years ago. Going to look into that some more times, I guess. Thanks for your work and wish you all the best!
@TanjaWindegger Ай бұрын
hope you find it helpful! Memorising is a skill that will improve with practice. I also had to be mindful of what state my nervous system is in, as it's impossible to memorise academic stuff when your nervous system acts as you are in immediate danger 💛
@lucidity_world 2 ай бұрын
Could one way to describe loneliness be invisibility thro unacknowledgement amongst people? I am recently trying to get out of my solitude after a protracted isolation which was of my own making. It helps me contrast that type of solitude and self-protective isolation of being alone with that of the loneliness I feel when I am among certain people who interact in a particular way. This second type I experience as being ignored or invisible, where my presence and interaction is not noticed or acknowledged. Some in that gathering may have sidelined me and I see that happening in real time. It is a feeling of being cut off and cast into an outgroup. Fair to say that, while this loneliness can be perpetuated by my own beliefs, people can be invalidating. It's not necessary for them to say that they recognise that I am doing something but a nod to me to let me know I am included in their experience makes a difference. They don't have to do this but the hurt I experience still occurs. I can get past the hurt on my own but some people are dismissive in that way and if we ask them whether they meant to do whatever we thought they were doing, they may deny it because not many would admit that they would do that intentionally but there are those who would. Forest gump, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get 😅 Where people are like chocolates and some are just plain old pebbles!
@TanjaWindegger 2 ай бұрын
yes, I can see how this hurts. perhaps a sign to not spent time with these type of people and trusting that there are people out there who would acknowledge and appreciate you
@Seeking_Myself 2 ай бұрын
My loneliest times have been in relationships. Not being able to be myself, I guess, but also not knowing who I am. An enigma! I have always been chameleon-like in relationships - and yes, that's my perception. But I haven't been brave enough to do the checking in bit. I was bullied as a child, and this has stuck with me. But also, when I add the layers of cPTSD and neurodiversity, then teasing apart what is what, feels harder.
@TanjaWindegger 2 ай бұрын
🦋yes especially when we try to make sense of it with our mind. it loves categoriesing (or at least mine does!) and that keeps us distracted from what needs to be addressed
@Seeking_Myself 2 ай бұрын
Hi Tanya. I am heading towards a birthday. I will be 63. I'm am beginning to try to allow simplicity into my life but finding it hard to let go of all the expectations, or my perceived expectations, that the world has of me. But, I am starting to shed cloaks of personas that no longer serve me. It is slow, but I have started. I want to find my pure essence that does not need a label or a costume💚
@TanjaWindegger 2 ай бұрын
@Seeking_Myself I love this!! ❤️ thank you for sharing. Speed is a perception. Now that I am in tune with the bodyand feelings it's so much easier to pace things so it doesn't overwhelm the nervous system and that speed is always perfect
@Seeking_Myself 2 ай бұрын
@TanjaWindegger I'm so delighted to hear that you have reached this point. You are a real inspiration to me, and your videos always spark something positive and reflective in me. Thank you, Tanja!
@TanjaWindegger 2 ай бұрын
@Seeking_Myself 🌻✨️ thank you for your beautiful message
@Atmanyatri 2 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing your reflections and experiences, Your honesty and openness and authenticity are inspiring, I admire your courage and the way you reflect on your journey. Sending you lots of love and appreciation for sharing ❤
@TanjaWindegger 2 ай бұрын
@Atmanyatri thank you! 🌻✨️💛 I appreciate your beautiful message
@TheeStarQueenDrea 2 ай бұрын
I actually agree. I have had many spiritual experiences and connect heavily with God and was as devoted as I could be to Christ for 13 plus years and I still had to go through an awakening of sorts to discover the root of my challenges (CPTSD) and am required to do the work to heal. God is with me and I have Divine support and Light through the dark times but I must do the work and God has made that very clear
@TanjaWindegger 2 ай бұрын
thanks for sharing 💛 ✨
@singlaankush777 2 ай бұрын
can EMDR works if we have constant dissociation?
@TanjaWindegger 2 ай бұрын
perhaps look for an EMDR practitioner that can also help with dissociation
@nature-nomads 3 ай бұрын
I stopped by the loving part...
@TanjaWindegger 2 ай бұрын
🥰
@caradonnelly7335 3 ай бұрын
i have so much self loathing yet still remain the same. i try to keep my sins at a dull roar. it's like i hate myself but not enough, i love myself but not enough.. to make the leap and change.
@TanjaWindegger 3 ай бұрын
loving yourself AND or while staying the same, can feel like the most rebeleous thing to do
@nature-nomads 3 ай бұрын
Love your energie, the sparkling twists... ❣️
@TanjaWindegger 3 ай бұрын
🥰🙃💫
@cosmosoma 3 ай бұрын
Totally in the same boat, i am 31 and have been tricked by this thought everyday for more than 10 years now
@TanjaWindegger 3 ай бұрын
awareness is taking away the power of this thought 💛
@333_Tarot 3 ай бұрын
To have patience with oneself is to have self-love 🌹
@TanjaWindegger 3 ай бұрын
love it! thanks for sharing! 💛🦋