Just do not get married in the 1st place unless you known this person for a long time like 10-15 years! Most marriages, the two known each other for 18 months!😮

No, vengeance helps. And being solipsistic is what woman do not men. This is the problem with psychology it’s female centric.

Has anyone shared this vid with their partner, if so did it help?

❤To work on your problems, try offering the person whom you resent one-on-one prayer. It will opportune you to use and express the better part of yourself with them and see the other as also human with depth and dynamism. Pray for those who spitefully use you. Don't let the sun go down on your wrath. A kind word turns away much wrath. Prayer helps me see that I am better than angry resentful wrath and I can run away from it in joyful freedom. It's such a relief to have this in my spiritual tool box. If you resent God for turning you in a direction that you don't want to go, you will have resentment problems with EVERYONE in that direction. Ask God to change your heart and mind to the same direction He selected for you and not just your body.❤

This is my marriage right now. I’m so ready to leave. I have everything this man is saying. And things never get resolved. I’m leaving for the sake of my children. I don’t want them to turn out like their dad and their mom. They deserve better

Hiya I don't really understand, in my experience when I end up being dependent on people I get let down or hurt? What should I do I'm scared of that happening again

It’s as if we the injured continue to injure ourselves by ruminating on the hurtful actions/words. What we focus on grows. We can heal from it and move on. Nobody hates a tornado. But, we aren’t cozying up to them or living in their paths, either. When I get filled with resentment or revenge, I remember that I don’t have to hurt the person back. But, I also don’t have to help them or save them.

Anger is energy to solve the problem. Sir I'm putting that on a T-shirt.

I love this guy He has incredibly good advice and he sounds more like George Carlin than any person I’ve ever heard short of the man himself

Seems like they’re jealous. Go figure.

what if reconciliation is impossible due to lack of communication? what it the part of letting go is just not there despite many attempts?

The last point in the video is very true.

Exceptionally explained!

At the brink of divorce because of all of these points - and we repeated these things for about 3 years, with the last year being the absolute worst. Is there any hope?

How can you forgive some behaviour of someone who hurt you that does not feel sorry about it does not understand the impact on your life and you can’t understand how they could do that because you would never do that to someone? There just certain things I can never see as forgivable. I can only work on forgiving myself not them about something I don’t endorse and believe in as acceptable

The last bit was so accurate. I have picked fights to feel like the person wants to fight for me. Wow! Light bulb! This was through feeling disconnected. I need to redirect this into a positive behavior.

So true

Power versus force. #cepv #IMustWin

Yes. I agree. One sign for me is when you are the only one holding the conversation. 2. They are no longer good company. When you go out you wish they werent there or with someone else. Everything seems more fun without them. 3. You dont miss them when they leave. You are happy you get some time without them. And annoyed if they call.

I haven't started drinking yet.

Im 30, never been in a relationship but thought i might as well be prepared for the future lol

Some parents bully their children. It happens behind closed doors.

I wonder where vomiting your thoughts and emotions comes in on the list.

Contempt is the 4th in a progressive list of signs of destruction.

Work place bullying.

My mother never let me express feelings of anger towards her and now I’m carrying around this heavy, poisoned, contemptuous heart. And everyone blames me and thinks she’s a saint. But she was allowed to be as mad at me as she wanted to be when I was a child and no one protected me or stood up for me when she hit me and screamed in my face and spoke curses upon my future. Everyone says I need to forgive her if I am a Christian and I think I have because I am no longer asking God to take vengeance on her, but instead to bless her. But I feel very threatened at the prospect of reconciling and honestly I don’t want to. Im afraid it would open up all my vulnerability and anger and hate all over again. I haven’t talked to her in 20 years.

thank you for posting this. through Jesus i know i can fully forgive my parents

I agree 👍

Would jealousy fall under the category of hurt? If I recall correctly, God would get angry when his people would worship false gods. Do you think He most likely first felt hurt, then jealous, and then finally angry?

I like the way this guy talks

This video confirmed what I have long suspected about my marriage, it's equal parts cathartic and heart breaking

VIOLENCEEEEE BREEDS VIOLENCEEEEEEEEE

But who is responsible for getting me angry? Don't they need the consequences for making me angry?

I am an extremely hostile person! Thanks for sharing!

Great video but don’t stop there! What is the problem and how do we rid ourselves of it? I realize resentment is a red flag and an opportunity to heal, but I need to pinpoint it, so I can work on it. My resentment might stem from the fact that I’m slowly burning out as a caregiver. Am I not taking enough breaks? Am I resenting my husband who can probably do some things himself? Am I realizing I’m codependent and freaking out about bringing stuck in this relationship? Am I resenting my father who also required caregiving when I was 11? Do I feel demeaned because I’m deprived of doing the things I’d like? What?

What do you do when the people you have tried to forgive are dead (parents) because you learned how they hurt you by not being supportive to my goals & being kept on the edge of the family. Support was not given because you were the nice, good girl & you are ignored because you are the easiest child in the family. Now what do I do with that. A brother was worshiped by the Mom. The dad was jealouse of the son & faulted him. One sister was totally dysfunctional & starting drinking at 14 & would run away & come back. I was ignored because I was straight & narrow. Went to school got good grade, went to their church the longest of all the kids. Yet I was not liked. They may have mouthed I love you once or twice but it felt they did not LIKE you. And the father discouraged life goals I wanted to accomplish. And it seemed that after high school grad & I was attending & graduated from a local community college, my Dad wanted me out. We lived in an expensive area of the State. I could not afford even a dumb to live in & had no money to buy a car until in my second year of college. What do I forgive. That they did nothing to protect me from a student who tried to sexually assault me. My mother did not believe it & she told me NOT to tell my Dad. Two weeks after my assault, the dudes father was arrested for incest with his daughter. Then my Mom said maybe I did not make up the story. I was never a liar & why my Mom decided with all my tears & trauma to not go to the school to explain what had happened to me nor the police. My mother died that day. I never saw her as a caring, good person after she deserted me. I have no idea why I could not tell my father?? What do I do with that?????

So is that why success is the best revenge ? Because you put the focus back on you, raising your own value past what you thought that person had lowered to be ?

I will also say that a lot of my anger went away when I developed more humility, solved my childhood trauma and why certain things trigger my anger so easily and that theres better ways of coping with Jerks that you inevitably come across. Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle helped a lot. It takes humility, developing true self worth dropping the ego and surrender to God's will. Its takes both the man and woman working to be that way, otherwise a breakup is inevitable.

Thanks for this excellent advice I will bring it to my future relationship. Youre like the dad I always wanted lol

Thanks for this Fatherly Advice! Youre like the Dad I always I wanted lol

Ahh , i feel empowered after watching this 🙏 thank you

You have to fight together against the problem and fix it. Not fighting one against each other

🙏🏻🙏🏻

Dr. Baker, please tell me…how does a person fix the self worth problem? 🙏🏼

What if that involves a particular group of people? And what if I cannot really talk with them directly?

This is amazing. Why don't pastors explain this problem like you. It helps so much to understand this

Great info.

Well done!

Thank you for sharing wisdom.

if i had a penny for every time I got angry at this one person I am absolutely infatuated with, I'd have enough to buy them something nice... and then resist throwing it in their face because I can control the behavior, albeit with tremendous effort.