Yo creo que ¡Bien por ti! He visto algunos vídeos de personas adoptadas y buscan a su familia biólogica y se olvidan de las personas que las criaron y las cuidaron y la verdad me parece que son algo ingratos. Como una joven que conoce a su familia biólogica y después de haberla abandonado (y tuvieron más hijos y los conservaron) dicen que están arrepentidos pero no quieren que los hijos a los que sí criaron la conozcan... ¿De que se trata digo yo? Seguramente que no quieren verse expuestos y sentirse juzgados por los hijos que sí conservaron. Bien que reconozcas a tus padres adoptivos y tu familia biológica pues ha vivido mucho tiempo sin ti y todo les fue bien. Cerrar ciclos es lo importante.

I hear ya!❤

You did great. No worries

I like very much your maturity, your way of thinking, the love you show for your adopted family. You are a wonderful human being, I send you lots of love from Chile

💐🥲

Why wouldn't they stay in a hotel... That's wierd ....

Your mother grew up in Korea, you grew up in USA, you are two world apart. Her conditioning and culture is completely different to yours in every aspect, you basically judged your biological mother through your American lenses. She wanted to be strongly part of your life because that what the mothers do, your thought was, she is making me feel I owe her something, how do you know that, did she tell you you owe me something? You should have told them, that you just had your baby and you are not in the position to host them, they would have accepted that. You should study the daughter to mother relationship dynamics in Korea to understand your mother. I think you will regret not having them visit you in USA, you still have time to ament that.

I hope in the past 3 years you have accepted your decision without regret. We make the best decisions with the information we have and our current circumstances at that time. Good luck and congratulations of making a very tough stand.

I can understand that. Although my experience as a Korean born adoptee is pretty uneventful. Came to the US in 1962.

You are right. Truthfully you owe her nothing.

You are wonderful! ❤

My personal preference is closed adoption. You made the right choice for you and your new baby at the time you made it. No shame- blessings for you and your family going forward,

Thanks for bringing up this topic. I recently started to investigate about adoptions and I mostly find emotional videos of people looking for their mothers, hugging them adding them to their lives and so on and this is the first video i find showing the other side. I had to figure out that not all adoptes look for their biological families or if they do, not all of them get along. I can't believe everything is so romantic and ideal!!

Am just a korean canadian, not an adoptee but as a mom of a little girl myself, i can understand and feel it was right for you to make that decision. Raising a child makes someone a real mother- like if I was given a newborn to raise, the times I spent with her would me closer to this baby. Not to say that biological mother is nothing but the relationship really builds through time and she should have been sensitive of your feelings and ultimately not take charge of you and your upbringing. Hugs to you and other K-adoptees❤

Your mom is the one who raised you. I too was adopted by my grandparents. I always knew who my biological mother was. I knew her as a sister. I call her mother. My children know her as nana Smith. Hoping maybe you will do another video update. Much love ❤️ from Canada 🍁.

Not adopted. But your biological mother, and im saying this with respect, sounds like your typical Narcissistic mother with unresolved trauma and victim mentality. Being adopted out, SAVED YOU FROM LIVING A lifetime of Narcissistic abuse, boundry crossing, golden child/scapegoat dynamics, and never being enough. You are indeed correct, your parent's are the ones who raised you.

I’m looking towards a closed adoption

Your hurt and your not ready to forgive.♥️🇨🇦♥️

Am 75 de ani ,nu am nicio legatura cu adoptiile ,dar nu te invinovati pt ca ai refuzat mama biologica .Parinti sunt cei care te cresc ,te fac om ,care te iubesc .Tu ai fost data spre adoptie ,dar vad ca a mai facut copii si i-a pastrat langa ea ,deci are cine sa o ingrijeasca ,nu e nevoie sa te framanti tu pentru asta .Tu ai familia ta in State si trebuie sa o iubesti si sa fiti legati intre voi pentru totdeauna .Imbratisari din Romania !

YOU HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF SELF

Did u guys finish?

You did the right thing....its not easy to make such decisions....but you and your own new fam deserve a future.....if you take strangers like your birthmother you don't know.....its gone be a disaster.....just live your life and don't feel bad.....they have their own live .....you're gone be sorry to let them come.....good for U

9months old to an adoptee parents who take care of u is a greater loyalty then your real parents.

As I was adopted, I agree with how you feel. I did meet my birth mother but she was not warm. I felt no guilt because she was the one that had given me away!!!

I don´t know my biological parents so I can´t relate about that part. But I feel like this is your choice, you have your reasons and that´s okay. Each person has gone through a different life experience and has diverse opinions of everything. Some people have curiosity about it and want to try and form some kind of relationship with the biological family if they can ever meet, and others don´t. And it´s totally fine to want any of those options.

I believe that it’s my choice to tell my story. So I don’t support vlogging of adoptees. Im in my 50s and me bio-mum tells random people in shops when we are out together. She likes the attention. I can’t stand when she does it. It’s my life. My private story.

I don’t feel comfortable with the ‘gotcha’ day. Not a fan. Like you I too have been grieving for that child pre adoption. It breaks my heart to think ‘where was I? Was I beloved’. Im now learned and know that bonding mother and child is beyond important in the first days weeks months. I tire of the narrative ‘you should feel lucky’. It’s not lucky to be torn off the family tree and grow up different like us adoptees. We have deep emotions re rejection and abandonment.

The suicide fact. Yes it’s a real thing. Rejection and abandonment is a thread throughout your life. I can relate to the pre adoption state. When I became a mum I felt so sad for my infant self (mixed race baby). I missed some many important months being loved inside a family. Maybe I would have become more confident? Accepting of my differences

I see your pain. I hear your pain. And I whole heartedly agree with your position. Your relationship with your bio-mum is different and more complex than with your siblings and full of wounds. You would see her with the children that she kept. You would feel her wounds. You are a new mother and your adoptee feelings are sharpened and acute. As an adoptee I learned that the birth mother never matures past the age when she separated from you. For me I deal with a 17 year old who never got counselling. You may relate to that with your mother. Take care of your tender heart.

I totally understand

You don't have to justify or make excuses for your feelings. Your home, your castle, the place you feel safe. Grandma is the person who brought you up, who looked after you. Your instincts were correct. Good luck and be happy.

Would you have rather she felt that it was no big deal that she had a baby and gave it away like ho hum no big deal? Maybe she had been tormented over the decision to give you up. Maybe she had never forgiven herself for becoming pregnant and giving you away and needed your forgiveness so she could heal. When were young it's hard to put yourself in somebody else's shoes.

I can see both sides it’s very sad some mothers have no choice but to hand over for adoption soul destroying that it is child often resents End of day they don’t appreciate the sacrifice and will never understand or realise how lucky they are. The child many times is torn there are no winners I appreciate a pal who refuses to allow contact with her child because she feels it will end badly even though 30 years have passed if in the end if the child is ashamed of her she said she couldn’t cope

You are doing what’s right for you. I’ve been there. You did what you needed to do by giving her a meeting and spending time with you. The rest is up to you and I agree parents are the people who raised you❤

Wunderschöne Aufnahmen und ein wunderschönes glückliches Paar

I respect you so much and am so glad you protected your self and your family!!!

It's not your place,or ability to fix in your life, what she broke in her's.

Your speaking from the heart,and your right.

😢😢😢

No I believe you made the right decision.

I admire your courage to be this candid about it. It's not all rainbows and sunshine. I'm a non-adoptee, but I imagine reconciliations like this takes time. Sometimes it works out, other times it doesn't. A Korean adopted former classmate here in Norway also met his biological mom. It took time for them to form that bond. She was essentially a stranger, since he came here about 40 years ago. Luckily she was a retired English teacher, so they're talking weekly on skype.

You are so beautiful. After watching your videos, I get the feeling you are always waiting for people to be racist towards you. Maybe most of the incidents that you felt ignored is mostly what you perceive. Not saying you don’t, but approaching people with a smile and not thinking about being Asian or about how people can be prejudice may just start looking different to you. I wish you the best.

All you are saying is based on translations of what your biological mother allegedly said. It seems like you really did not have a heart to heart conversation with your biological mother. You seem to lack empathy.

Sounds like you have some guilt. As a fellow adoptee. I completely think you did the right thing and should have no guilt.

I just found your videos and it has helped me tremendously. Thank you so much. You shared a lot of things i needed to hear at a really lost and difficult time. Thank you so much for sharing.

Promo>SM 😱

Heartless to not let bunch of pretty much strangers to stay in your home? What about abandoning and throw baby away like a trash not heartless? They seem to use you and your home for affordable America vacation. I would not even meet my birth parents because I might accidently punch them in the face.

thanks for sharing your story. im a Korean adoptee who grew up in Australia and am 36 yrs old now and have just started looking up content about other Korean adoptees. i definately don't think you are cold or in the wrong for your feelings. I can't imagine trying to find my birth parents too be honest but I really appreciate you sharing your emotions about this experience. subscribed!

I just watched the other video and didn't find it to be rambling at all. You sincerely expressed your true feelings which will help other adoptees who may seek to reunite with their biological parents. Please, be sure this is right for you and you are emotionally prepared as a lot of people will be affected if you are not ready. As I commented on the other video, you expressed your intentions by saying your biological mother was taking credit for your success, was trying to replace your adoptive mother by taking on the grandmother role, was making you feel guilty, etc...that's some heavy insinuations. If that's how you feel...why try to reconnect with your biological mother? When you have such a great life, family and adoptive parents who loved you, why reopen old wounds if you don't intend to mend them? Very sad for everyone involved.

You appear to be very happy with your life and adopted family....why go through all this? By saying you want to keep your biological mother from interacting with your baby, insinuating that she is taking credit for your success, wants to replace your adoptive mom as a 'grandmother', etc...it's a good reminder that adoptees need to be in a good place emotionally before they seek out their biological parents. At least, do so for the right reason and not prejudge or assume your biological mother is somehow a bad person. You have to consider your biological mother's side too...perhaps, she moved on but when you reunited with her, you gave her hope again. Reopening old wounds and not ready to mend them is worst than leaving them as they were. It's just a sad situation for everyone when it doesn't have to be.