what did ur husband ???

Some people just think they are entitled to everything 🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻....you'll be fine....you got you're own family now to love.

I think if the best part of your visit to korea is a photo shoot then you should not be seeking to find your biological family. Since you have moved on emotionally there is no need to visit. Because they want to fill that void, but ypu dont have a void, your adopted family has filled it up. No one is judging but now the rejection they feel is another can of worms.

Thank you for humanizing this very personal event! However you feel is valid! Don't be afraid to represent the interests of your own family! Even at the expense of others! I am praying for you and your daughter to overcome anything that stands in your way! May God bless and keep you!

Was it your way of punishing her, it sounds very confusing. You're punishing her for giving you away..

I will never adopt any chidren of other people, Rather a dog,

It’s not weird to cry about a deeply harrowing subject. Your feelings are valid. I can see you battling your own feelings with the empathy you have for your biological mom. I think you made the best decision for you.

You are being realistic and honest. As a mother of a Korean adoptee, it is a complicated situation. You had the courage to face your biological family, but that is very complicated, as well, and triggers many many inner issues. Your life is not to undo your birthmother's regrets. What happened, happened and you have had to live with her decision. You have shared tremendous honesty.

I totally empathize with your feelings. Your birth mother has ZERO right to claim any credit for any of your success. You came through her, but she did not create you and she did not earn the right to have any say over your life. She should be forever grateful to you for becoming a wonderful human being in spite of it all.

You were born due to the Universe, not to any birthparent. You were born to be YOU.

I completely understand your feelings. Your birth mother is dealing with her pain, but is presenting her status with a sense of entitlement. Your postpartum status needs to be protected from unnecessary stress.

I think you did the wright thing. I dont have anything in common with you, I am not adopted, never been to Korea, etc but you were too vulnerable so close to giving birth to have a stranger stay with you. So many things could have happened. You did the rational thing.

You made the right decision. I’m adopted myself, and I made the mistake of partaking in my biological mother’s life. She made me feel as if I was indebted to her for some reason, and she wanted me to financially help her and her daughter. It eventually made me realize that I have to live the rest of my life as if she does not exist. I did way more than what I should have and now I live. burden- and guilt-free. I don’t have any intention of meeting her ever again.

You made the right decision! It's not cold!

You are disrespecting your birth mother by not telling her how you feel about her. If I was your bio-mother and had to listen to this because you were unsecure of yourself, you’d be totally written out of my life!

Everyone's situation is different from each other. I just hope that the interpreter chose the best words to describe your biological mom's feelings.

Thank you for sharing your life story.

Yo creo que ¡Bien por ti! He visto algunos vídeos de personas adoptadas y buscan a su familia biólogica y se olvidan de las personas que las criaron y las cuidaron y la verdad me parece que son algo ingratos. Como una joven que conoce a su familia biólogica y después de haberla abandonado (y tuvieron más hijos y los conservaron) dicen que están arrepentidos pero no quieren que los hijos a los que sí criaron la conozcan... ¿De que se trata digo yo? Seguramente que no quieren verse expuestos y sentirse juzgados por los hijos que sí conservaron. Bien que reconozcas a tus padres adoptivos y tu familia biológica pues ha vivido mucho tiempo sin ti y todo les fue bien. Cerrar ciclos es lo importante.

I hear ya!❤

You did great. No worries

I like very much your maturity, your way of thinking, the love you show for your adopted family. You are a wonderful human being, I send you lots of love from Chile

💐🥲

Why wouldn't they stay in a hotel... That's wierd ....

Your mother grew up in Korea, you grew up in USA, you are two world apart. Her conditioning and culture is completely different to yours in every aspect, you basically judged your biological mother through your American lenses. She wanted to be strongly part of your life because that what the mothers do, your thought was, she is making me feel I owe her something, how do you know that, did she tell you you owe me something? You should have told them, that you just had your baby and you are not in the position to host them, they would have accepted that. You should study the daughter to mother relationship dynamics in Korea to understand your mother. I think you will regret not having them visit you in USA, you still have time to ament that.

I hope in the past 3 years you have accepted your decision without regret. We make the best decisions with the information we have and our current circumstances at that time. Good luck and congratulations of making a very tough stand.

I can understand that. Although my experience as a Korean born adoptee is pretty uneventful. Came to the US in 1962.

You are right. Truthfully you owe her nothing.

You are wonderful! ❤

My personal preference is closed adoption. You made the right choice for you and your new baby at the time you made it. No shame- blessings for you and your family going forward,

Thanks for bringing up this topic. I recently started to investigate about adoptions and I mostly find emotional videos of people looking for their mothers, hugging them adding them to their lives and so on and this is the first video i find showing the other side. I had to figure out that not all adoptes look for their biological families or if they do, not all of them get along. I can't believe everything is so romantic and ideal!!

Am just a korean canadian, not an adoptee but as a mom of a little girl myself, i can understand and feel it was right for you to make that decision. Raising a child makes someone a real mother- like if I was given a newborn to raise, the times I spent with her would me closer to this baby. Not to say that biological mother is nothing but the relationship really builds through time and she should have been sensitive of your feelings and ultimately not take charge of you and your upbringing. Hugs to you and other K-adoptees❤

Your mom is the one who raised you. I too was adopted by my grandparents. I always knew who my biological mother was. I knew her as a sister. I call her mother. My children know her as nana Smith. Hoping maybe you will do another video update. Much love ❤️ from Canada 🍁.

Not adopted. But your biological mother, and im saying this with respect, sounds like your typical Narcissistic mother with unresolved trauma and victim mentality. Being adopted out, SAVED YOU FROM LIVING A lifetime of Narcissistic abuse, boundry crossing, golden child/scapegoat dynamics, and never being enough. You are indeed correct, your parent's are the ones who raised you.

I’m looking towards a closed adoption

Your hurt and your not ready to forgive.♥️🇨🇦♥️

Am 75 de ani ,nu am nicio legatura cu adoptiile ,dar nu te invinovati pt ca ai refuzat mama biologica .Parinti sunt cei care te cresc ,te fac om ,care te iubesc .Tu ai fost data spre adoptie ,dar vad ca a mai facut copii si i-a pastrat langa ea ,deci are cine sa o ingrijeasca ,nu e nevoie sa te framanti tu pentru asta .Tu ai familia ta in State si trebuie sa o iubesti si sa fiti legati intre voi pentru totdeauna .Imbratisari din Romania !

YOU HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF SELF

Did u guys finish?

You did the right thing....its not easy to make such decisions....but you and your own new fam deserve a future.....if you take strangers like your birthmother you don't know.....its gone be a disaster.....just live your life and don't feel bad.....they have their own live .....you're gone be sorry to let them come.....good for U

9months old to an adoptee parents who take care of u is a greater loyalty then your real parents.

As I was adopted, I agree with how you feel. I did meet my birth mother but she was not warm. I felt no guilt because she was the one that had given me away!!!

I don´t know my biological parents so I can´t relate about that part. But I feel like this is your choice, you have your reasons and that´s okay. Each person has gone through a different life experience and has diverse opinions of everything. Some people have curiosity about it and want to try and form some kind of relationship with the biological family if they can ever meet, and others don´t. And it´s totally fine to want any of those options.

I believe that it’s my choice to tell my story. So I don’t support vlogging of adoptees. Im in my 50s and me bio-mum tells random people in shops when we are out together. She likes the attention. I can’t stand when she does it. It’s my life. My private story.

I don’t feel comfortable with the ‘gotcha’ day. Not a fan. Like you I too have been grieving for that child pre adoption. It breaks my heart to think ‘where was I? Was I beloved’. Im now learned and know that bonding mother and child is beyond important in the first days weeks months. I tire of the narrative ‘you should feel lucky’. It’s not lucky to be torn off the family tree and grow up different like us adoptees. We have deep emotions re rejection and abandonment.

The suicide fact. Yes it’s a real thing. Rejection and abandonment is a thread throughout your life. I can relate to the pre adoption state. When I became a mum I felt so sad for my infant self (mixed race baby). I missed some many important months being loved inside a family. Maybe I would have become more confident? Accepting of my differences

I see your pain. I hear your pain. And I whole heartedly agree with your position. Your relationship with your bio-mum is different and more complex than with your siblings and full of wounds. You would see her with the children that she kept. You would feel her wounds. You are a new mother and your adoptee feelings are sharpened and acute. As an adoptee I learned that the birth mother never matures past the age when she separated from you. For me I deal with a 17 year old who never got counselling. You may relate to that with your mother. Take care of your tender heart.

I totally understand

You don't have to justify or make excuses for your feelings. Your home, your castle, the place you feel safe. Grandma is the person who brought you up, who looked after you. Your instincts were correct. Good luck and be happy.

Would you have rather she felt that it was no big deal that she had a baby and gave it away like ho hum no big deal? Maybe she had been tormented over the decision to give you up. Maybe she had never forgiven herself for becoming pregnant and giving you away and needed your forgiveness so she could heal. When were young it's hard to put yourself in somebody else's shoes.

I can see both sides it’s very sad some mothers have no choice but to hand over for adoption soul destroying that it is child often resents End of day they don’t appreciate the sacrifice and will never understand or realise how lucky they are. The child many times is torn there are no winners I appreciate a pal who refuses to allow contact with her child because she feels it will end badly even though 30 years have passed if in the end if the child is ashamed of her she said she couldn’t cope