Thanks for your question! It sounds like you are making an act of your will ("I admit it was wrong and I resolve not to do it again") but your feelings are lagging behind. That's OK and it does sometimes happen. Your feeling of being sorry is not as important as the act of your will - and repentance really is about the act of your will.

If you intentionally hold back a grave sin and don't confess it (we're not talking about unintentionally forgetting it), then yes, you're right, none of your sins are absolved. Here's what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says (CCC #1456): "When Christ's faithful strive to confess all the sins that they can remember, they undoubtedly place all of them before the divine mercy for pardon. But those who fail to do so and knowingly withhold some, place nothing before the divine goodness for remission through the mediation of the priest."

Here's a cartoon from the old Baltimore Catechism making the same point: www.ldysinger.com/@texts2/1962_sj_balt_cat/x-05_bad-confession.jpg

A very good point. Confession and the instructions of the Church are not "gotchas". God wants desperately to forgive and heal us of sin because it harms us. All the sacraments are gifts to us to grant grace to help us. God isn't looking to let us fall through the cracks on a technicality. If we approach the sacraments in good faith, contrition, and firm purpose of amendment, we can be assured we have received the grace God promises.

Thank you

Thinking that something is not sinful does not inherently make it not sinful. Ignorance CAN lessen the culpability but it doesn’t change the nature of the action.

@phylocybe_ Correct. But mortal sin requires KNOWLEDGE of the wrong. If the person doesn't know it's wrong, there is no mortal sin.

That's traditionally been more my problem, finding it to humiliating to say. Although a confession guide indicated watching impure TV or film is a sin. Given that's pretty much all TV and film these days I am struggling with that. I almost wish I hadn't read it because I admit the idea I have to give up up all TV, movies, and books that don't adhere to Catholic sexual morality feels extremely difficult. How do Catholic movie critics work? Or am I overthinking it and by "impure TV or film" it means porn and erotica.

@@ThomasReeves-s7u That's sort of what it means. Anything that stirs up the feeling of lust should be avoided. This can be difficult, since we rarely see any expression of the human body (particularly the female body) except erotica in most media. Even nudity is not meant to be erotica. Old art understands such but these days, people have trouble separating the two. Anyway, Catholic sexual morality is hard these days, but it is the true and good one. Avoid any media that shows too much, especially when it's needlessly. I know it might sound ridiculous but it really is subliminal messaging to get us to see it as normal - which draws us into sin. Most media is trash these days anyway, you won't be missing much.

@@ThomasReeves-s7u my brother. Excellent question the modern culture is pure filth. For me, it’s music. I can’t listen to a simple song without lyrics that make me cringe. Even music I enjoy without overtly impure lyrics have rhythms instruments which disrupt the spirit. A few years ago if someone told me this I would have laughed in their face. I would say use your common sense and pray to discern as much as you can but if a good film has a sex scene and you’re confident you can take it in the context of the work as a whole it should be ok? Even if it’s not I’m simply not advanced enough to reject the whole culture I have to live in the world I can’t abandon everything to become a monk

Fair question. But I think this is the point where we should not over technicalize these things. Bottom line is only God knows for sure which sins are venial or mortal. But for us, all sin eventually leads to death if not dealt with. Venial sin will lead to mortal sin sooner or later if left unchecked. So, if there is any doubt if it's mortal or not, just go to confession. The temptation is to excuse ourselves. We shouldn't do this. We should strive to rid ourselves of all sin. But to offer some comfort. Jesus prays on the cross, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." It's hard to imagine those involved in his crucification having zero understanding of what they were doing. They clearly knew they were killing someone. However, Jesus saw a certain ignorance in them and forgave them. Now, I'm not saying this view is official Church teaching about this particular verse. But it does seem that Jesus leans hard toward mercy and recognizes factors that lessen guilt. Another point. Justice and mercy seem to be opposites on the surface. But you can't have true justice without mercy. In the end, those who clearly deserve punishment are those who were offered every chance of repentance and forgiveness but refused to accept it. That proves that they genuinely loved sin more.

Along with contrition you must have a firm purpose of amendment, meaning you want to change. In this case if you don't want to change but rather you would like to keep sinning then are you really sorry? Remember it's God's will that we are trying to emulate, not just out of fear of punishment, but we want to be good people. To be a good person means that we want to achieve the Beatific Vision. A common sin is an adulterous relationship. You love the person, and you may have married them after you've been married and divorced or they have, well unless you give up that adulterous relationship, you can't be forgiven. Because you don't have the will to change that sin. Another one is a homosexual relationship. There is nothing wrong with being a homosexual, as long as you don't act on those impulses. The problem is when the desires turn into action. This goes against God's will. In both instances, it's better to be alone with the hope that you will achieve heaven by giving up these sinful relationships. But remember, you are never alone. I will pray for you, please pray for me because I am a wicked sinner. Ave Maria!

@ I’m referring to the person who refrains from acting, but is miserable doing so.

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Ok Hector

May the the answer your earnest desires

I will pray for you

I guess when we change our sinful actions. I need to go to confession soon.

How you know if you’re truly sorry for your sin is if you understand why what you did was wrong, and don’t want to go to hell, and want to be with God in heaven. It comes from a deep place in the heart, as well as the mind, understanding that sin is missing the mark of God, doing what you shouldn’t do for the sake of your self and your own interest as opposed to the interest and will of God. That is what makes sense to me. What do you think?

@@boydnicol I like your perspective. I also remember the priest saying that having contrition is NOT just about the fear of going to hell but remorse for offending God because you love God. When we love someone, we don't want to hurt them. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I will continue reflecting on your words today as I prepare for my next confession.

If you know that you have offended God and you know that you must change your sinful ways,you are sorry

@@evelynyvargasPerfect contrition (sorry for sin because it offends God) vs imperfect contrition (sorry for sin because of Hell). Both are sufficient dispositions for forgiveness of sins within the Sacrament of Reconciliation. On top of the normal things, like the intent to not commit mortal sin again.

I dont think so. Attrition just means to be scared of being hurt with the just punishment for a wrongdoing. The fear of separation from God looks like love for God, but you need to have it clear in your mind that loving God includes willing what God wills.