I’m hearing: “I want to be aware but I don’t want to go through the discomfort of difficult emotions that being aware we require. I want to see but my defenses keep me from looking.”

Oh, for more human beings like this wise man.

It's incredible that people get married to those with BPD. After living with one for 4 months I can't stand it any longer.

Trained by the master Otto Kernberg,M.D.

Does anyone else agree...that was exhausting to watch.

Thank you Doctor. This is the most concise and clear description I've ever heard of what I have been dealing with in my own marriage for the past thirty eight years. I cannot tell you how much it means to have a framework described that makes sense of the chaos and needless pain.

As a patient I would not be ready to open up to a person who is this detached. Somehow the communication is very much "in the head", I do not feel heart. Even if the therapist is not explicitly judgemental, it feels like he is implicitly judgemental. He has this "I am OK you are not OK" attitude typical of psychiatrists working in closed psychiatric wards.

This was excellent.

A lot of talk and nothing said.

Minimization, defelection, starting to get angry at frank and that will happen. Denial attempting to use projective identification and devaluation of frank. Minimization of harming others. Blameshifting will take a long time to reduce maybe. Nice splitting of therapist is bad frank may be bad. He may never reach all this stuff he projects he owns.patient is bodering on you trying to control everyting and ask for a warantee

Wish it could work doc. But I can not be ok with my current living situation in the western world. And there is no carot in the western world for me any longer not that there ever was not one day from child all my mind and mouth asked was why and how and the reply given never reached any point of unification in my soul. So now what did we see the gays given in our time??? Now what will my people receve so we can just do away with the whole BPD thing cuz major change in my reality would have to physicly change on paper as well so that us sensiteve people have our voices herd in the court of law just like a murderer someone that hurts another human emotionaly beyond reasonable moral huamn decency then ya voices need to be hered feelings destroy minds and lifes like bulets dud you not hear the pin is might like the sward. IDK a smart guy sead that but what do i know i cant spell im bipolar and now looks like a hard hard BPD diagnosis i need no dictor to see that its just the coz of it incan put my finger on like he not willing to do he wants to maintain this condition for who his pocket the church the government the schools ? Obviously a man would fix the hole in the dam replace the dam before building another dam down stream hopping the people in the valley bellow wont die and drown? Smart man cant spell but so smart look at me brain.

This made me cry. Because this is exactly how I feel & what I struggle with. And it sucks. It’s so sad 😞 I hate it

The fact that he likes to have sex with men is a socially acceptable mental illness.

Flaming narcissist.

He's judging the therapist for psychoanalyzing him. But that's the entire purpose of it. To figure out what makes the person's mind tick. If you take a person's words at face value, that's how you become manipulated. If you really want to know why a person does what they do, you have to be able to understand how their mind works. The definition of why you would psychoanalyze someone. His feeling of judgement and criticism is probably a strong indicator of having a personality disorder. Even when it's just pointing out obvious observations in how he conducts himself and interacts with the world around him

Therapist really needs nerves of steel for this.

You,ve give us a very comprehensive picture of TFP . Thank you so much Dr Yeomans !

"I'll take that into account" sent me😂

Obviously, I don't know what had happened before that exact session but am I the only person that felt that although the patient was quite rude about it, he was right that the doctor had jumped all too easily into labelling his substance use and sex behaviours as problematic? I think it's quite hard to establish a productive client-therapist relationship when the latter takes such a strong stance and puts his promiscuity in opposition to having fulfilling emotional connections so easily. Moreover, when Dr Yeomans admits that he's frustrated with the client, wouldn't it be helpful to assure him at the same time that it's therapist's own emotions, not an objective judgement of the situation and it's more about the way the patient has worded his disagreement than the fact that he disagrees itself?

When i was in the full grips of BPD, my emotions WERE ME. They determined hpw i saw myself and others and the world around me. My emotions HAPPENED TO ME. My emotions were bogger than me and controlled me. Now, i have a healthy relationship with my emotions. They still feel bigger than they should at times, but i see how they are something i experience and can manage, rayher than being controlled by. I value my emotions and listen to them now but create space between myself and my emotions. Now, i know who i am and that my emotions are like the varying trees in my inner landscape of self. Or the colours.

My life has became a hell after the state i am in criminalized cluster B. I simply cannot be myself. I am boiling and imploding inside because expressing my anger can get me some serious 30 years jailtime meaning life sentence. I have been warned about it by some cop. I want to express my anger. I can't hold it in anymore. And people think that i am harmless when they intentionally play on my triggers. Oh man, they better watch out. I am the type of person that does not fear death and can't stand humiliation.

Yes, i am 34 yo and i am at extremes in both love and hate. And because i am also histrionic i sometimes have periods of one week or two when my feelings are mild to totally muted.

And you are right about one thing which is Borderline being comorbid with Bipolar more often than people would think.

That is Borderline comorbid to Histrionic not narcissistic.

where is the best schema therapy traiing?

I would personally say, the therapist body lenguage ( I admire this man and his work btw ) but his body posture from what I’ve been studying is a posture that speaks superiority.. I’m not sure if I’m an unconscious level it’s sending some message if I’m better than you or superior in position in this situation… which I guess could be triggering for a person with narcissism on an unconscious level and not help to establish a connection. I’m taking into account also, this is a simulation but just my view..

So grateful to be on the other side of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome. I THANK MY THERAPIST for telling me that I had been viscously narcissistically abused and didn’t know it…. Get away from these people and get a life worth living

The worst thing about this is that it won't just come alone it causes more mental suffering such as anxiety and depression and other disorders like sleeping disorder or eating disorder. At such level the disorder becomes even more rooted and hard to cure

Such an interesting video. Also, who of the participants is narcissistic? The patient, or the therapist with pretty much all the narcissistic traits showed up in 15 mins time. Arogance, entitelment, covert control and psychological manipulation tactics. Very strange, as the patient (if that's the one with narcissistic disorder) seems collected, sincere although defensive, but quite righteously.. This video put an interesting perspective about a topic.

This is why Kohut created Self Psychology 😂 You have to listen empathically and not criticize them or tell them what to do. Listen, ask questions and very, very subtly Incept the idea of what should be done so they believe it’s their idea. I don’t see this type of therapy working. I’m getting hyper-vigilant and defensive for him. This is a devaluation trigger waiting to happen. I value Frank’s wisdom. I read his material all the time, I just can’t imagine sitting through a session of his. Phew. I’d go into competition mode real quick

These types of people are really dangerous and I usually run away from them all the time and ignore them to the most extent possible. Thanks for the information

Thanks this is eye opening because I deal every day with these types of people and most of them are from religion and faith and they have these kinds of blaming others for their not wanting to willingly serve God and want to condemn the whole world or the rest of society to their control and manipulation.

Run away

If I am correct in reading the info on the video, THANK GOD this patient is an actor. I would be out of the room and be as far away from that anger machine as I possible could. So, maybe I’m just like him. ? Woah. He seems pure evil. He is in a psychotic state of callous aggression and says he’s calm. Babhahahaa!! This guys headed for prison for sure. What a mind fuk.

Is wearing a terrible wig a sign of narcissism too?

This guy doesn't want help, he is countering everything the therapist is suggesting. Why is he on this video?? I'm glad I'm not working g on this guy.

This is why worksheets are helpful because they allow the person to draw conclusions on their own. General talk is contentious to the person. I allow the worksheet or the activity to evoke their emotions. They are much less resistant.

Being a shrink is obviously very hard work. You can see that most people with NPD wouldn't even go for therapy. Theyre so defended.

The therapist is speaking too much really. Maybe because it's being filmed. The patient needs some space to get into it and start talking.

This disorder is like- being a hostage to your own mind. I’ve had it all my life. But this kind of therapy- only triggered it more. I have found that EMDR helped me the most.

I’ve been diagnosed BPD and all around cluster B. Tears came to my eyes just listening to your tearful experience. Only because it was in a general way. I’ve no empathy when faces with specific face to face interaction.

Its like the conversations I have with my boyfriend. And then its: i am just asking and i am trying to understand. Thats just how I am. Grrrrr

jees, why does a karakter like him wants a therapy if he has to be sold on the idea to learn about himself...??

I'm shocked that this disorder is real. So much like my wife. She defends everything...justifies everything....blames me for everything....knows everything....loves to control everything...and unfortunately is so gloomy all the time

I really wish this therapy works! It sounds so hopeful. I just fear, that as a therapist you almost all the time are NOT dealing with the patients themselves, but with the false self, the protector. This protector would never let you get through to the fractured self, for it would not only mean that what's left of the self would re-experience memories of unbearable pain and shame, but it would also mean death to the protector entity. I assume that the one who spoke to you from the mouth of your first patient ("you are mocking me"), wasn't your patient himself, it was his protector entity. It stands there - and remains standing there - between a fractured potential-of-a-self, and a world that is unbearable, unaccepting and unacceptable. I wish I was wrong.

That is hard to watch! Yes it's a tough client but I think there are points where this therapist could have been a lot more skilled at managing the alliance. Feels like it was going in the opposite direction of that.

From what I gather from this video along with experience with others whom I believe to be narcissists is: that any simple question which could lead to a deep conversation gets twisted and turned quite often. Moreover, the questions are potential LAND MINES if you don’t tread carefully and slowly

"I'm right you're wrong" - the same answer to every question

He sounds like a major pain in the arse... Thats my diagnosis.

I'm curious to know if there are BPD patients that tend to internalize all of the negativity vs. those like the "mocking" patient that externalized them.