004: The Golden Bachelor, Shane's grocery store drama, and Steven hating birthdays

[@cattlin6957]

fascinated that Shane can so easily bail on group hangs, yet returns to the grocery store and barbers that have wronged him before.

[@Yalesville]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@melaniek1984]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Molly-nd7xc]

Podcast lore

[@ryanfox2488]

I love that Shane is able to just say "no" to things. Some people need to learn how to do that.

[@AmandolinJay]

AMEN! After I hit 30, I came to a big realization of "Oh I can just...not do that thing. It effects NO ONE" 😂

[@meredithgrubb4497]

​@@AmandolinJayit hit me at 31 lol. Life changing.

[@mcwine18]

Learned this recently and should’ve done it sooner honestly.

[@mandelanovanatspeaks]

💯

[@luci-ferre]

Shane is goals

[@---uj5gv]

this podcast is rapidly becoming group therapy

[@captquesadilla]

Ryan saying “this is also just kind of the life of having an anxiety disorder. You kind of like live in these weird little spirals that happen throughout the day. You just kind of get used to it.” was one of the most relatable descriptions of my anxiety disorder. Steven is right. You can’t live in it. That doesn’t mean you don’t still get them. You just try not to feed the spirals and make them bigger. Just ride out the wave.

[@lildeadgirl1443]

100%. It’s about trying to notice you’re about to head into a spiral and try to hop out, otherwise you’re going down and that’s your day. Or at least your next couple hours.

[@taurez_98]

YEEES wow thank you guys so much for commenting, and for reiterating what Steven and Ryan were saying about the spirals. Made me feel not alone, and ‘normal’- so grateful this is a huge realization moment for me haha i love the Watcher community!

[@hlf3769]

so ryan is apparently a great husband, he threw his wife a slumber party bday and made them popcorn? that's so cute

[@Sassymouse88]

To be fair, he probably made the popcorn for himself too 😂😂😂

[@michaelrider9067]

He had to make up for trying to final destination her with the flight booking incident.

[@tomsgrexit]

That's not really surprising though. 😊

[@cryptiddy]

Loving Ryan's lighthouse keeper era

[@oooh19]

Yea definitely vintage vibes

[@nairilee]

Ryan having anxiety and intrusive thoughts about causing someone's death because he forgot to book a flight is so real to me. This happens to me all the time. Anxiety is exhausting, so I can't even laugh at him because this is how my brain works too and it's awful. And I'm very much on Shane's side about not forcing yourself to do things just because other people want to do it.

[@katem891]

I'm on Shane's side. Don't do things you don't want to do. You only get one life and you don't know how long you get it. Don't waste your own time, it could be limited!

[@carpal_tunnel_of_love]

That’s exactly my philosophy with life

[@GreedRunsall]

Count your luck stars, I know exactly how long I got. Damn psychic/fortune teller, ruining the surprise

[@bustedkeaton]

Could be? 🤨

[@CharlieDanvers]

I totally get shane like ill get invited somewhere for like lunch and ill be like oh i dont like that food/activity ill pass and ppl look at me weird like the point is to hang out i get it but in gonna go go spent 3 hours wasting time when i could go eat/do something i like and enjoy my own company???

[@anonymouseggy6837]

i aspire to be like shane, doing his own thing because he can. wants a hotdog? stands up saying "im gonna get a hotdog" and then peacefully gets himself a hotdog.

[@sierra4766]

"This sounds like the worst." Shane and I are the same in regards to sports.

[@thentheworld6152]

love how this episode turned into psychoanalysing shane for 30 minutes

[@eclipsingshadows5421]

Steven asking his parents for an Algebra textbook is the equivalent of Shane saying “Oatmeal” in Top 5 Beatdown: Cereals for me.

[@bustedkeaton]

Tbh i got interested in a published archaeology report (Im not an archaeology person by trade, just interested in it) that only existed as a $900 published book, and i considered asking for it for xmas once haha.

[@morgananderson9879]

I think the best part about Shane being able to do his thing without feeling peer pressured is having understanding coworkers and friends who don't guilt him. more relationships like this please!

[@intofinnair]

i find it really wholesome that Ryan occasionally chats to the other Ryan Bergara

[@gr33ngirlsea]

I follow my name twin on Insta and it's kinda fun. Sometimes, it feels like she had an alternate life to mine with similar upbringing.

[@abigailsalmanac]

Steven would probably hate this compliment, but I really love how vulnerable and honest he is

[@Morgan-o5g]

I feel like Shane doesn't need to justify why he does or doesn't want to join events that are outside work capacity, even if it seems weird. If I was annoyed and my social battery was low I wouldn't be too excited to bowl either, sometimes people just need alone time :)

[@T.Florenz]

I like that Ryan presented it as an admirable skill that he was trying to learn. I think it's so valuable to have relationships where people feel comfortable placing boundaries, because then if they're hanging out with you, you absolutely know it's because they want and choose to do so. I have a couple of friendships like that, and it's such a relief to know they'll just tell me if they're not having fun and want to do something different.

[@bustedkeaton]

Of course he doesn't, but it makes a decent podcast topic.

[@katem891]

Oh yeah!! Actual sponsors!! Go Watcher Pod!!!!!!!!!!

[@kaitlynzc8904]

I have so much goddamn respect for Shane for just being able to say "no I don't want to do that" and walk away LMAO -- two years ago I experienced the worst day trip of my life with some friends that I could have easily avoided if I just said no, and ever since then, saying no to things I don't want to do has been surprisingly empowering

[@gracedell]

i love the reoccurring beef with a random local grocery store

[@lilybond1305]

i love this chronicle with shane and the grocery store. i hope we get a mild update every week.

[@theblurredlights]

I’m with Shane on the choosing to walk around listening to music instead of forcing myself to watch a play I didn’t want to watch. I’m always vilified for not going along with the group, even when I tell them I would just bring the energy down by being miserable. And I’ve gotten the “but you never know if you never try, you might like it” argument, and the times I’ve let people persuade me (and really tried to enjoy myself), I just ended up more miserable because I’m also pretending to have fun just so the people around me enjoy themselves. And the worst part is when they use those instances against me when they try to invite me out again, so I’ve learned to just say no.

[@hannah-op1bt]

the fact that simu liu and steven lim are friends is absolutely insane to me

[@rachaelbuirge3160]

i'm totally with steven on birthdays and parties centered around you, it's just weird and overly stressful for no reason. also love how seriously he takes the podcast, thinking about his topic all week long

[@michelle6337]

I love watching Shane when Ryan and Steven talk about sports because it is 100% me around my sports-obsessed family. The only difference is he's polite enough not to pull out a book which was my go to distraction from age 13 on.

[@nubby2790]

Surprised Shane just didn't get up and bail during the convo since that seems to be his M.O.

[@ljd825]

I was listening to my phone and not watching it and as soon as Steven said “I asked for an algebra textbook” the internet went out but I didn’t know it so I thought there was just a reallllllyyy long pause of silence after he said that😂

[@jellybeanboy]

Oh dude one time my earbuds disconnected right as someone says something important and I thought everyone had just gone quiet

[@lixak6307]

They all have wives ❤😢 I’m so proud of their journey and how far they’ve come from Buzzfeed, what lovely men who create a positive and creative community

[@justinfincher2385]

“Ya gotta feel good about bailing on stuff” is advice my own mother has given me. Dead serious.

[@iainwall2780]

Watching you guys just be friends and talk about relationships and daily living is 100% the most enjoyable content

[@micahbutonline]

Cool guys - way to unlock a new fear in me. Never thought about just CASUALLY tearing my Achilles until today.

[@coneybaloney6150]

That “double barrel Sha Boing Boings” bit almost made me burst out laughing in class XD

[@ranchel_]

steven is more and more relatable with each episode

[@aishwaryajoshi-adj]

Also, Shane's philosophy of doing what you want to do, and only doing what you want to do in life is definitely something I'm working on following myself and it is so fun to see how carefully he makes sure to do that and how it causes confusion and awe in equal amounts in the people around him even as they are perfectly accepting of his choices.

[@dbhlng]

Ryan dressed like he's heading down to the docks for a late shift as a longshoreman after the pod recording ❤

[@eyeseajujubee]

I appreciate that Shane follows his intuition. Taking my birthday for myself and to spend time alone doing only what I want has been helpful in appreciating my birthday more.

[@kaylalboyd]

loved hearing steven talk about wanting to love his birthday and not liking compliments etc etc

[@brendanowicki3821]

Ryan’s anxiety is relatable but also sad because I relate

[@T.Florenz]

🤝

[@matildakarinsdotter]

You guys are literally what's saving me from existential dread, seasonal depression and anxiety right now. Thank you!

[@spacadet.]

i totally resonate with the idea of how hard it is to just say no to something you don’t wanna do or an event you don’t want to go to. since getting to college there’s been so many times i’ve been invited out to something but people seem shocked when i tell them i’m just not interested and don’t want to go. it’s nothing personal, i just have no interest in the hockey game or the cow milking contest 😂 it’s an interesting socially ingrained idea that we’ll do things that we don’t find enjoyment in for the sake of spending time with people we care about

[@markdavidmagat9866]

honestly I'd be down for a 2 hour podcast! Yall's convos are so intresting!

[@daraspezial]

I love the boys talking about bachelor, especially Ryan saying "Im not there for the smootchin, I'm there for the storyline and the love" 🥹

[@brooklin265]

42:03 hearing Shanes story brings me peace 🥹 “vibe with the city” is inspiring

[@CharlieDanvers]

I did that a few times on holiday where everyone wanted to go to like a museum or an old church and i was like naaah i rather walk around the city

[@tracyrupp4882]

Steven, whatever year-old you were when they forgot your birthday, have a party for that year. Like if you were 8 when they forgot, play games with your friends that you would have played then!

[@GNAON]

Love that Ryan is mildly allergic to raw carrots, but doesn’t know

[@collegedropin]

"I don't like the call from inside the house" is a description that should not and cannot be ignored

[@chenry298]

I watch all the Watcher series, I'm a Ghost Files fanatic, been binging the Food Files, and now I'm into this WatcherPod 😄 Is this normal to be so indepth into the channel?! 😆😅

[@captquesadilla]

If not, there are a lot of not normal people watching this 😂

[@apeiceofgarbage9848]

Absolutely me too they're shows are so great

[@dinabaughman8731]

Same.

[@colinskye8174]

i do the same thing too

[@victai163]

this podcast is so brand new but sha boing boings is gonna be a moment to remember for sure

[@annaparker7728]

No I wanted to hear the story about Steven’s algebra textbook! 😭❤️ (Great podcast though!!)

[@annamorgan2420]

love hearing steven openning up. im here for that

[@mch1684]

This was a great conversation between friends. Well done. Like a good therapy session. You guys are growing up.

[@okay_but_still]

Shane and I are the same. Like I’ll go to the bowling alley and converse or drink, but if I don’t feel like bowling it ain’t happening. My mom says I’m rude, I say I’m independent.

[@romance6933]

I appreciate Steven taking his time out to keep consistent on the Pod.🎉❤Happy Birthday Lim

[@deyaniramercado4149]

Steven is so relatable with the center of attention for birthdays and finding it hard to receive thank yous. Hope he celebrates hos birthday how he likes and comfortable with! It doesn't have to be extravagant, it can be small or doing an activity. Hope you have a great birthday, steven!!!🥳

[@redbullandspite]

i dont go to things i dont want to go to because i figured it's worse to turn up to something and look miserable the whole time than to not go at all! it sucks to go to an event/outing with someone who's obviously hating it, setting boundaries makes everyone happier in the long run for sure

[@AnarchyStockers]

Steven and Ryan: we have football on Sundays, Shane, do you have anything like that? Shane: well the gilded age just started back up again-

[@Larissa-p9w]

There's something very freeing about the fact that I'm Autistic, and I feel like if I don't want to do anything, I have a built in excuse of its too mentally straining

[@maxinejohnson7695]

I also say "I receive that" when someone gives me a compliment, especially one I wasn't expecting.

[@Shrekslover777]

So happy the breaks are actual breaks now 🫡

[@aaaaaikaaaaa]

FINALLY SPONSORS, GET THOSE COINS BOYS

[@hayleybeethomas]

i feel so validated because i have been told by friends before they have no idea what my threshold is, because i'll seem like i'm having a good time and down for anything but i'm also like i am absolutely not doing that and then i go off on my own

[@gracedell]

thank y’all for making this podcast, i’m excited for it every week

[@boredpd9934]

This might sound morbid, but I spent so many years of my life expecting not to let myself live to see the next that now I fully celebrate reminders that I am here. Birthdays, my wedding, small accomplishments, etc. I feel like it has become a big part in my healing just to recognize these wins.

[@celesteramirez7827]

My friend and I are 71 and we make it a really big day. Other friend is 58 and we go all out. Old people really get into birthday parties. Gummies and cake and train rides and gifts

[@timeandteacups]

on stevens point of hating birthdays i always kind of dreaded my birthday too. I had this realization that my birthday is one thing that i have total complete control over and no one can tell you otherwise. if you want a party but without the celebration of yourself, you can do that. if you want to stay at home and do nothing all day, you can do that. your birthdays are for you, you can do whatever you want!!

[@spaceykc]

I used to hate my birthday and wanted to isolate. Now I’m learning (through therapy) to not wait for anyone else to light my birthday candles and just do it for myself. To celebrate myself for the sake of me- and as a model for my kids to learn how to care for themselves.

[@lucyisadragon]

See I do what Shane dose and have done since I was a teen, my approach to it is s but different maybe? The big example is that I don’t drink and I don’t like clubs (24 year old autistic, go figure) and I was one a trip with my friend, it’s getting late they wanna go to a club I’m like “nope I’m gonna go back to the hotel and go to bed, maybe read for a bit,” they are so chill, walk back with me, they freshen up and then head out. Everyone has a fun night and I get to sleep! Maybe my friends are just used to the fact that I’ll come along to things but might not want to do one of of main activities but I still wanna hang out the rest of the time, the challenge has been convincing my friends that I prefer it this way, I want them to carry on having in while I vibe. It works out best for everyone! Good pod 👍

[@aishwaryajoshi-adj]

I have truly missed the Watcher Weeklys on youtube, especially since they switched to only Watcher Weekly Pluses on Patreon and Steven has had a pause from appearing in videos on the channel. Part of the pull for me was to observe and figure out the dynamic between Shane and Ryan (whom I had followed for a while) and Steven (whom I was watching for the first time) in a very casual, conversational setting and I loved seeing that evolve and change and grow. Now while I love that a form of Watcher Weekly is back with Pod Watcher almost exactly 3 years after the former ended, the gap of missed Watcher Weekly Pluses that has changed all of them as a trio, that dissonance of what I had figured of them as a trio 3 years ago and what they are now is something I'm constantly aware of because I was not there to see how and when it changed. All that said, I am so glad to get a chance to observe them again and learn so much about their lives and personalities. It is truly a gift to be given that window and I hope they know it is very much appreciated.

[@leochurchhill6894]

If the place Shane is talking about is spelled Wirtshaus, that just means inn in German :) They probably didn't misspell Wurst (sausage), Wirt means innkeeper

[@Wothi]

Wirtshaus = tavern

[@PhiloSobriety]

Ryan, the corduroy overalls are awesome.

[@Jack-jg4jy]

I’m living for Shane’s updates about this grocery store. It’s a little weird to not have cherry tomatoes.

[@janfields4816]

For compliments, I tend to say, "That's so kind; thank you." Which is probably a little deflect-y...but folks seem happy to hear it so we're all good.

[@ImekaSF]

Happy Birthday to my fellow Scorpio, Steven! As someone who doesn't like attention either, I used to just invite friends to my favorite bar and would just hang out. Makes it as low-key as possible and very little obligation!

[@puppyachoo2058]

Ryan massively underestimating that Post Concert LA street hotdog high with the wrapped bacon DAWGS

[@destinysoto7]

Shane is how I am and im glad im not the only one who does that

[@gabbyshaul4658]

Shane doing the Midwest goodbye signal at the end *slaps knee* “well…”

[@spacadet.]

double barrel sha boing boings with no condiments IS insane tho

[@hannahadel2073]

Lmao steven's "thank you" response to a thank you is VERY MALAYSIAN

[@rowanmarlow7402]

Shane, I get you. It's like energy management, I'm not going to force myself to do something (nonessential) that will take energy from me just because someone else wants me to do it. I gotta make sure I'm doing good and addressing my own needs first so that when my friends need me and want to hang *with me*, I'm coming in with my best vibes

[@XxTyson27xX]

Tore my Achilles last August and it felt like someone kicked the back of my leg out from behind worst injury ever! Also had to drive myself to urgent care since my wife couldn’t drive stick 😂

[@маахамариам]

Automatic all the way , also get well

[@JasGo991]

Im just like shane and understand where hes coming from.i have this peace when on my own. Bowling is boring but walking in a Forrest with light rain energies me. Theres just this peace while being alone.

[@phantomgirl7338]

Coming at you with some LA hot dog suggestions - The Stand (small chain) has great burgers and hotdogs, Wurstküche (spots in DTLA and Venice) has lots of great different sausages and beers, Fab Hot Dogs in the valley, and Dog Haus!

[@frankiehale8139]

steven and the middle kid relatability is STRONG for me

[@jabajabajabaa]

I am so proud that they can actually cut to an ad now lol

[@emilyb4764]

Ryan is so real for talking about his anxiety and sameeee bud, it's rough out here lolol

[@madjam1125]

Nothing weird about the Shane/bowling situation at all in my opinion. I would do the same thing and have in group settings. Free yourself from the chain of social norms and do what makes you happy! 😊

[@gelgography]

the DUNGAREES, RYAN! you are so baby! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[@bryan-link]

Guys we need chapters on these podcasts

[@koolkel00]

I feel like the midwest, (speaking as a midwesterner myself) growing up there gives you premature "im an old man i dont give a damn" energy, even if you're young, and I think shane is a good embodiment of that.

[@Talkingperfectly-loud]

I relate to Steven so much with the birthday thing. Im not someone who has had a lot of friends historically, and so I was always really self conscious growing up about not being able to have big parties with lots of people for my birthday. There simply weren’t enough people around who cared about my birthday. As a defense mechanism I simply stopped caring about my birthday, too, but I always wished I could celebrate more than I was ever able to😔

[@mayj_222]

shane in his edward cullen cosplay (slay)

[@la_arana_discoteca]

I relate to the weirdest parts of each of these guys. Anxiety spirals, "nope"ing out of situations, and an inability to say "you're welcome" when thanked.

[@Roccobear]

It made me really happy to hear y’all rave about that place in Buffalo! I know which one y’all hit up, just bc I used to go there every year for my birthday and remember the hot dog place across the street. I’m glad you were able to have a good meal here! ❤

[@jacquelynchin5513]

Today I learned that Steven and I have the same birthday lol, happy early birthday !!!

[@jacquelynchin5513]

(I’m also a middle child lol)

[@hellobethanne]

and i also share the same birthday as you and steven! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@tracyrupp4882]

I'm the same, Shane, like, "Nah, I don't want to do that." People think it's weird.

[@bellebrunty]

This podcast is just making me love these guys all the more 😂 From the internal feud with a grocery store to learning Steven is a robot it’s great! Also I too am chatty Ryan even though I say I’m not🙃

[@lisamarie1774]

Shane I love watching The Gilded Age too! I like that it’s based off real people. Also, that time in American history is fascinating

[@alicewillett8824]

ryan talking about anxiety spiraling over the plane... he's just like me fr

[@alexisw8662]

shane not going to the play is such a taurus move, i felt that in my bones truly

[@taurez_98]

SAME 😂😂 ♉️

[@AdamTheWeeb]

Happy birthday from Australia, Steven 🥳 coincidentally I didn't get a chance to listen to the pod until today lol

[@hallefrank7400]

Did anyone else immediately think of 42:26 time stamp of the Old Montana prison video of ghost files where Shane says "What if we leave-" and just walks away without fully finishing the sentence

[@dreZmay]

Steven! I have the same kind of birthday trauma. And I do have advice. Celebrate your birthday ALONE. Or maybe in your case, just with your wife. For the past 4 years I have taken solo trips for my birthday and it has made me love my birthday. I get to do exactly what I want on my own timeline and actually enjoy the day. I don’t have to worry about planning something, wether or not people can make it or anything else. I finally enjoy my birthday now.