01: Everything I've Ever Knit

[@TejeduriasMias]

Happy that I found your podcast🥰❤️. You are a very talented girl🤩. I also love unspun yarn. I discovered it this year and I am very crazy about it. I knit since 12 years now and until now my favorite has been the Miles Shirt Jacket. I knitted it with unspun yarn from Hillesvåg and Silk Mohair. I just cannot take it off...I wear the thing the whole day🙈🤣 it is just cozy and smells also very sheepy...my dogs and my husband love the smell. I will love to see more from your work soon🥰.

[@amandarenshaw2940]

Loved watching you and learning about your knitting experience. I have never tried unspun yarn but would love too. I guess my favourite knit so far has been the Eun sweater which was made with Drops Air, a beautiful soft blown yarn.

[@shelaghmcqueen7598]

Hi Rachel, loved your podcast and all your knits. I am looking forward to your next installment. In terms of what I've knit, I'm just working on my first sweater using plotulopi and mohair which I am loving. Up until now, i would say my colourwork wrist warmers knit in Jamieson's 4 ply are my favourite item due to having conquered colourwork holding one yarn in each hand.

[@whome2289]

Love your aesthetic, Rachel. I subscribed before your intro was even finished. I look forward to more of your content.

[@agentleadornment]

These words are so encouraging, thank you for taking the time to share them

[@mikkimartin5064]

Thanks for taking time to post all your beautiful knitting projects. You are amazing and I love your photos of you in your knit wear. I am happy to have found you.

[@agentleadornment]

Thank you so much Mikki, I'm so glad you're here :)

[@dianeh1541]

I love your style! ❤

[@tess7510]

So nice to "meet" you! Love your knits- I have also been knitting for a year and have a seal point cat hehe.. my other cat chewed my wooden needle tip and I was able to save it by filing down a new tip with a nail file and you can rub a bit of wax paper or a candle on it afterwards for more glide. Anyways... my favorite knit is a hard one but I think it is the "fisherman's raglan" by Liv Ulven which I knit for my husband in Briggs and Little heritage. I think it's my favorite because he is in LOVE with it.. and he does everything from woodworking to going to church in it. It's just a rugged and beautiful sweater. Plus it's fun to see your sweater in action on someone you love. :) I recommend the pattern highly as it was designed in unspun. So fun to knit!

[@agentleadornment]

Oh that's such a great tip with the nail file and wax. I'll have to try that with the next pair of needles... she's sleeping innocently in my lap as I write this, but she's definitely a repeat offender. :) And I love reading about your favorite knit. Having someone cherish something that we've put so much effort and love into... this is one of the most joyful gifts I've experienced in my short time knitting

[@AKnittersHomestead]

OOOh I'm so happy that you decided to record and share an episode with us. Your knitting is beautiful.

[@agentleadornment]

Thank you so much for these kind words. May you have many moments of joyful knitting in the year ahead :)

[@KathleenZeff]

Amazing work! Loved your video. I am working on the Artisane from Sandness Garn. It is by far my favorite project in a long time. Loving the yarn and loving the process.

[@agentleadornment]

Ohh, that's so pretty! I love the contrasting patterns on the front panels.

[@justbewvl7280]

Kudos! You are a lovely knitter for being so new. I’ve never used Nutiden yarn and would love to try it. I am also relatively new to knitting. My favorite knit to date is a small shawl that is probably my most worn item to date. I would really love to try the Moorland shawl and have had the Humblei shawl in my queue since I saw it a while ago. Continued success in your knitting journey. I just love to knit!

[@agentleadornment]

I've actually been thinking a small shawl would be so nice to have because it can be wrapped like a scarf. And yes, I whole heartedly recommend both shawls! Either one would be a joy to knit again :)

[@opheliabells]

loved the idea of wearing knitted socks in the garden and am going to do the same this sping/summer but first I've go to knit some. Beautiful podcast thanks for sharing -it was the perfect time. The favorite thing I've ever knit was also the only garmet I've knit and that was the Novice Sweater by Petite Knit and the yarn I used was so wonderful and expensive.. i was a complete novice so didn't know much about how much was needed and all that but I ended up finishing it and then after about a year took it apart and made my neighbor a wrap with it to keep her warm in her final days.

[@opheliabells]

yarn was Alta Moda Cashmere 16 in merlot

[@agentleadornment]

This sounds so luxurious! And that's so kind of you to have re-purposed the yarn as a gift for your neighbor, how special that must have been for her to have been wrapped in it. Thank you for sharing

[@ariesoviss]

I have never tried unspun yarn but now I really want too. One of my local yarn shops sells it so I will definitely have to pick some up now. I don’t have a favorite knit yet, but I think my current wip will top them all. It is the Bloomfield top in KFO merino and I love it so much.

[@agentleadornment]

Ohh, the cabling on that pattern looks like braids. I bet it will be stunning!

[@BarbaraAllenby-e6q]

I very much enjoyed for your first podcast! Your knits are really beautiful! I have knit for most of my life and still find so many new things I want to make! My most favourite and most worn pullover is my North Shore by Tin Can Knits in Berroco vintage dk! I love the colourwork motifs and its a little oversized but so cozy! I absolutely wear it everywhere! Knitting is the most soothing thing to do ❤

[@agentleadornment]

Oooh, I especially love the staggered mountain motif around the collar. I bet this is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing and thank you also for your kind words and encouragement

[@micheleshanahan]

Rachel your knitting is so impressive! You’re a natural. I would say my most recent favorite is the Champagne cardigan by Petite Knit. I used Wool of the Andes worsted. I seem to wear it the most. Great cardi for the fall and early spring!

[@agentleadornment]

ohhh, this looks like a fantastic cardigan pattern, I'm adding it to my favorites! Thank you so much for sharing. :)

[@madebymollymoon]

oh wow such a lovely podcast!! From horsey knitting girl to horsey knitting girl you did great! I'm knitting on the Eva cardigan by petite knit

[@agentleadornment]

Oh yay, another kindred spirit! I'm so glad you've found me here. Thank you for sharing :)

[@kimlegge5197]

Hi Rachel, my sister and I really enjoyed your video. Very impressed with your knitting too, you're only a beginner and so talented. We'll keep watching to see what you do next. Love the veggie garden too.

[@agentleadornment]

Although she doesn't knit, I often watch knitting videos together with my mom. We always have such cozy times together, so it really warms my heart that you watched with your sister. And thank you so much for the encouragement :)

[@LATHEANDLOOMPODCAST]

Congratulations 🎈 n your first podcast! Lovely knits. It’s so hard to pick a favorite knit, I think as you noted the arch adds something to our experience as knitters. I did live knitting the Woodlark Shawl (Fiber Tales), and currently, though it’s not my best fitting pullover as it was the first I knit, I am really enjoying my Antler Pullover. I have not yet knit with Nutiden, it would be lovely to sample it! 🧶Cher

[@deb7844]

I think that using two strands of plotulop is softer than using lettlopi. Sot that's what I do. I love icelandic wool and order it from Iceland.

[@annavanderzalm9190]

What gorgeous knits! I especially love your moorland pullovers. I made a moorland cardigan in a thrifted golden alpaca yarn which is a bit too drapey for the high-neck shape of the cardigan, but I love it so much nonetheless. I was wondering what part of the US you live in? The landscape is absolutely stunning! My favourite thing that I ever knit was a long dress version of Versal by Ailbionna McLochlainn. I made it because I am currently pregnant and running out of clothes that fit my growing stomach!! Thank you again for your lovely episode!

[@agentleadornment]

Oooh, a golden Moorland cardigan... I imagine this is just beautiful! I haven't knit with alpaca yet, but it's one of my favorite things to squish in a yarn store.... so soft. I'm a bit of a gypsy at the minute, but much of the footage in this video is from Washington state. Wishing you a joyful pregnancy with lots of comforting knitting :)

[@MonicaArntzen]

I love your style😍 Just got a whole bunch of new things on my wishlist now🙉 My favorite thing i have ever knitted must be the Levitate Wrap by My favourite things knitwear, in the suggested yarn Isager Eco soft and Trio 1! Or my French market bag by PetiteKnit😊

[@agentleadornment]

Ahhh, my wishlist has grown so much since I posted this video a week ago! I am discovering so many beautiful patterns through your favorite knits :)

[@judylaurin9032]

My first cardigan was in a book by Elizabeth Zimmerman. I used a very rustic blue wool which is still going strong. ( I was too inexperienced to know it might be hard to do!)

[@agentleadornment]

Sometimes inexperience is a gift in disguise--being unfamiliar with our limits, we try something ambitious and grow tremendously by the challenges that we are confronted with. And I am so encouraged that you continue to wear an early knit! Thank you for sharing

[@dominiqueb2477]

thank you for sharing your knitting! You are right the perfect moment is never going to come, so it's great you took the chance in a moment it was good enough. In my opinion it could have been the perfect moment in hindsight ;)

[@agentleadornment]

Oh, this is so true!! And it was one of my biggest video projects so far, so it seemed very daunting when I began editing it... but actually, it was so fun and joyful to piece all the video clips together. Sometimes beginning is the most difficult part.

[@nikitinaknits]

wonderful knits! Merry Christmas 🎄🤎

[@agentleadornment]

Merry Christmas, Nikitina!

[@michellepissk-schupak5440]

I enjoyed your podcast so much and have subscribed. It is amazing that you made so many things and challenging patterns. I just purchased Nutiden yarn and was so happy to hear how much you love it. I agree with you regarding the wine color sweater. Your projects are all so beautiful so make something special. I wish you the best for the New Year. Can't wait for more podcasts. My favorite item that I made so far was part of a Kal. It is the Frankensweater made with Lion Brand Fishermans yarn in the color birch, along with a strand of mohair. I have received so many compliments. The fabric turned out so beautiful. It also was my first sweater and did give me some stress.

[@agentleadornment]

Michelle, thank you so much for taking the time to write, your words have really warmed my heart. This sounds like a lovely sweater, and I bet made extra special with the strand of mohair. Wishing you so much joy as you open your first package of Nutiden, and all that ensues in the knitting. :)

[@lucegoose6907]

Very impressed by how far you have come in such a short time. Love the choices you have made. Best wishes for your channel.

[@agentleadornment]

Oh thank you so much for sharing such encouraging words

[@sebastienlarocque7800]

This was awesome. You and your mother are quite the stylish pair! My favorite knitting project was the Maxim Cyr Old Fashioned Cardigan done in Malabrigo Rios.

[@agentleadornment]

Ahhh, this is so kind! I'll be sure to share with my mom, you'll have made her day :) This looks like a staple of a cardigan, an easy one to love. Thank you for sharing!

[@finbohannon9581]

Amazing achievements for someone so knew to knitting. I’m 60 and I’ve been knitting for about 30 years but I’m still probably over cautious about my knitting. Your content is very aspiring….I must be more adventurous….thank you.

[@agentleadornment]

Thank you so much for the encouragement. I bet you have some marvelous and cherished knits with 30 years on the needles

[@mt7427]

Enjoying your video. I love knitting socks & I am going to try what you mentioned using yarn without nylon I’m it, I like the idea of the bottom of the sock felting. I have a cardigan I am planning to knit in the unspun yarn.

[@agentleadornment]

I highly recommend Emma's sock yarn! I also need to cast on a cardigan, I have a feeling this would quickly become my most worn piece. Wishing you joyful knitting :)

[@maximetrienpont9464]

Hi! Loved your podcast 😊 my favourite make from this year was my arctic light sweater by Kutovakika. In Hillesvag Sol. I love Nordic harna ❤

[@agentleadornment]

Thank you so much for sharing! I just pulled this pattern up on Raverly, the cabling is so beautiful. I especially love the sleeves!

[@waterwomanknits]

Very impressive and ambitious knitting for such a short learning curve. Makes me wonder if more beginners are capable of more than they may think. Glad you've started a vlog. Description of my favorite project is tough because I have so many favorites. I love the Azor sweater by Orlane Sucche using Biches et Buches Le Petite Lambswool and also love Jennifer Berg's cowls and Sheep Camp Sweater.

[@agentleadornment]

Yes! I love to share how new I am to knitting in the hopes that it encourages others. I think it's more accessible than it initially seems, especially with designers who put so much care into developing and sharing their patterns. Ohhh, the Sheep Camp! This pattern is so beautiful, I'd love to try it when I step into colorwork. Thank you for sharing

[@hsttsfs]

Loved your video ♥ My favourite knit is The Simple Knit Hood by Lia Lykke which has kept me dry and warm in Scottish never ending cold & wet weather

[@LifeWithoutLaura]

Really enjoyed knitting to your video! I'm amazed at how much you have knitted within a year

[@agentleadornment]

I'm cheered to have kept you company whilst you knit! :)

[@dianeh1541]

My favorite knitting project was The Boneyard Shawl by Stephen West.

[@agentleadornment]

Oooh, the ladies at my yarn store adore Stephen West, it seems we always have a KAL going. I haven't tried one of these patterns yet, but this shawl looks like a great place to start. Thank you for sharing!

[@mareikeakita4919]

What a wonderful podcast ❤ one of my favorite knits is the wintersbeach in lettlopi galaxy ❤

[@agentleadornment]

ooh, I recently picked up a skein of the "galaxy" color in a local knitting shop and was so intrigued by all of the subtle color variations. I bet this a beautiful piece

[@dinabell3589]

Really enjoyed your lovely, peaceful podcast. Seeing your very thoughtful knits. I have been knitting over 50 years so I have an abundance of favorite knits😊. But my current favorite is a step by step cardigan that I knit from my hand spun chocolate brown Corriedale. I wear it all the time. Look forward to your next podcast, have a wonderful day.

[@agentleadornment]

Dina, thank you so much for sharing. A cardigan in your own handspun yarn, this sounds so special!

[@uljanina]

Hi! Amazing work and you are choosing beautiful patterns! I am very happy to see some of the Fiber Tales patterns alive :) Her aesthetics speaks so much to me and your bee shawl is gorgeous, such a unique quality, even through the screen it hits me with nostalgia. And about the Ranunculus, I myself plan to knit one and I am in the process of choosing yarn, and I think that maybe a blown yarn will work better with the pattern. I hope that it will give a similar soft look like an unspun, but with more structure. I think that I will try Snefnug from CaMaRose.

[@jplr0220]

I love your Humlebi Shawl! Now considering knitting this one 😊. My favorite and one of my first knits is the ilha sweater that I made in Manchlopis unspun. Also can’t wait to see how your channel will grow😊, great 1st episode!

[@agentleadornment]

Ohh, I just looked this pattern up on Ravelry, I love the detail in the yoke and along the side. This must have been so fun to knit. I bet it is so beautiful in the Manchelopis!

[@MusReh]

Loved your first podcast and your garments are all beautiful. There isn't anything quite like the 'look' of unspun IMO; just the ruggedness and wildness of it. It's great to find another podcast with the aesthetic that I go for in terms of yarn and designers. My favourite item I've knitted is a Lumme Pullover by Sari Nordlund in a combination of Nutiden and Manchelopi. It's a so light and airy, barely weighing anything but still keeps me very warm. I think i wear it too much sometimes (even to bed if it's a bit chilly!). I have to add that the Morker 2022 Nutiden shade just looks stunning against you - it really brings out the blue of your eyes.

[@agentleadornment]

Yes, I agree! There's something so magical about unspun yarn. I'd love to knit the Lumme pullover someday, but I'm not sure which colors to choose... which colors did you use? I also haven't done a colorwork project yet, so the idea looms a bit dauntingly in my head. :) And thank you so much for the compliment, that's so kind of you.

[@MusReh]

@@agentleadornment Your welcome 🙂. My Lumme is in a dark brown background with various colours of pink and peach as the colourwork. It seems daunting but honestly once you start it will be addictive and difficult to put down. And the Lumme is a great colourwork to use with Nutiden or unspun due to the gauge (of 2 strands). Other colourwork yokes that work well with Nutiden gauge are Moinear by Ailbiona McLochlainn, Hassja by Frida Oskap and Throwover by Andrea Mowry. Hope you have fun!

[@agentleadornment]

@@MusReh Ahhhh, all of these patterns are getting added to my favorites.... my list is getting so long!

[@lauraferguson2636]

Unspun is my favorite wool to knit with too. Beautiful knits. My favorite sweater to date I made is Teti Lusak’s Polina pullover, it’s a stunner. All of her designs are a dream.

[@agentleadornment]

Ooooh, I'd love to try one of Teti's patterns. I agree that her designs are so stunning! Thank you for sharing

[@WoollyChats]

Beautiful horse! Wonderful video thanks for sharing with us😊 I subscribed

[@agentleadornment]

Ahh, another lover of horses! I'm so glad you've found me here, you are most welcome!

[@dianekawagoe2330]

I enjoyed your video and have added some of the Moorland patterns to my favorites in Rav. I have many knits I really love, but my current favorite is still in progress as it is the first pullover I’ve made out of my handspun yarn. I’m a long time knitter but a very new spinner so this has been a fun rabbit hole for me to jump down.

[@agentleadornment]

Hi Diane, thanks so much for sharing! Spinning sounds like so much fun, I'd love to try it someday. A whole garment in your own handspun sounds like a very special piece, I'm sure you'll treasure ever wear :)

[@elenabeyers2088]

I just found you and immediately subscribed. I love to knit socks in dk, fingering and worsted. My favorite, however, is my ranunculus sweater. To that point I gave most of my knits away and decided to knit this one for me. I was floored that it turned out well and fit me. Lovely podcast. Hope to spend more time with you as I knit away.

[@agentleadornment]

The Ranunculus is such a loved pattern, I'm determined to try it again in a different yarn. I'd love to know if you have any recommendations in terms of yarn choice. I'm so happy to keep you company while you knit, thank you for subscribing!

[@elenabeyers2088]

I’ve made two so far and have yarn for 3 more. The first one was a fingering Brazilian cotton by Circulo. The second is a worsted weight cotton from Hobby Lobby (“I love this Cotton”)that feels like butter. I have two more cottons from Circulo. Lace weight which I will hold double, and another fingering weight. Finally, I have wool aran weight yarn I am repurposing and will hold with a silk mohair or silk yarn (lace weight). Take a look t Sun Dragon’s videos and you will see she is using a variegated worsted wool yarn. Hope this helps.

[@agentleadornment]

Ohhh, cotton that feels like butter, that sounds divine :) And thank you for the podcast recommendation, I'll look them up!

[@vickifenlon2235]

Wow! Very impressive makes for a new knitter! My favourite knitted item is a blanket that I made for my young granddaughter. I didn't have a pattern, I just winged it. She lives in America and I live in Ireland. ❤️

[@agentleadornment]

Thank you so much, Vicki. Your granddaughter must feel your love in this blanket whenever she's wrapped in it, for this is the magic of knitted gifts :)

[@nicolaamiliahelms]

Love to see you in your beautiful sweaters with the horses! My favorite sweater is the Misurina in West Yorkshire Spinners Illustrious Naturals. My favorite yarn. But it is unfortunately discontinued. Love to see your next podcast! 😍

[@agentleadornment]

Lace, colorwork and even some cables--this must have been so fun to knit! Thank you so much for sharing

[@Sharon-ov6ft]

Wow Rachel! For a new knitter, you have made some very impressive garments! I too, love the designers you choose! I have many of the same patterns in my library! I have made 7 Ranunculus in different weights of yarn, from single strand of mohair to milk fiber in DK weight. Yours looks too big for you, so frogging it is a good idea! But...do reknit it in another yarn! I made a shawl from unspun yarn, do plan on more makes in the future!Your shawls are just beautiful! Love to see your beautiful horses, love them too!🐎 Will enjoy watching future videos and your progress! Where are you? From S. California, #8 Subscriber Sharon 🦋

[@agentleadornment]

Seven ranunculus, wow!! Which has been your favorite yarn to knit this pattern in? I'd definitely like to try it again in a different yarn. Oh and thank you so much for the tip on size, I will try that next time. I'm a bit of a gypsy right now, writing to you from Washington (state) but headed your direction for some warmer weather soon. Thank you so much for being the 8th subscriber! :)

[@jenngallucci4586]

Thank you for the giveaway opportunity. I love that you knit a few patterns from the same designers. I'm curious to see if I've done that. My favorite knit is the Puna Cardigan by Ruke Knits. I knit it in Cascade Eco-wool that I had unraveled from a cardigan I previously knit and hardly wore. I held the recycled wool with a Biches et Buches silk mohair. I wear this cardigan all the time! It was so worth it to use this favorite color of eco-wool again. In fact, I just did the same thing with another old sweater and now have a new Felix pullover by Amy Christoffers. I don't know if it's a favorite yet because it's currently blocking.

[@agentleadornment]

Ohh, I love this pattern Jenna, thank you so much for sharing it. I really favor V-neck cardigans, somehow they seem to layer well with whatever I've paired them with. I'm definitely adding this to my wish knit list! :)

[@joannelongley5945]

Love your pattern choices and style. My favourite knit and well worn is the Felix Pullover by Amy Christoffers in Lettlopi.

[@agentleadornment]

Joanne, I love the yarnover increases in this pattern through the shoulders. Simple, yet classy :)

[@finbohannon9581]

I love the bee shawl and wondered if you could tell me the type of yarn you used and how much if it was needed, please. Can you also say what size needles you used. Thank you so much.

[@agentleadornment]

Hi there! This is the Humlebi Shawl by Fiber Tales in Nutiden yarn, I used a little over 300g in the color "Karna". I didn't take any notes on needle size but the pattern calls for size 6

[@BoggyStitches]

beautiful makes Rachel!!! my favourite thing I've knitted is probably a cream cable knit sweater in Briggs and Little heritage yarn (100% Canadian wool). definitely the most challenging sweater I've made but it's the piece that inspired me to start knitting in the first place, so I'm pretty pleased to actually have one now :)

[@agentleadornment]

I've heard of Briggs and Little from the Gentle Knitter! A cream cable sweater sounds like such a classic and timeless knit, I think you'll enjoy wearing this knit forever :)

[@helenewang1830]

I am so happy to be the econd subscriber. Hi.

[@agentleadornment]

I'm so glad you're here, Helene :)

[@TheresaREAberilla]

I ENVY YOU!!! I wish I could already knit this fast, and have "already" worn my finished products, but, I'm only on the stage of "gathering" some yarn!!! I have the "knitting" sticks or needles found on a "kringloop", or a "flea market"!!! The ones in "iron" still, that grandmas use before!!! They are the best!!! TFS - love, Cleo

[@agentleadornment]

Cleo, it sounds like a great adventure is in store for you, especially with such special needles. And gathering the yarn is one of the most exciting parts :)

[@RJ-qv8ku]

Tip; try not to fill the silence with ahhh or ummm. Nobody is going to interrupt you, take your time. A little silence is ok. You've made amazing progress in one year. Good job.

[@agentleadornment]

"Take your time, a little silence is okay". Thank you for taking the time to share these wise words with me, may I hear this in my heart when I record next time :)

[@karinberryman2009]

Best thing you learned Rachel, was continental knitting, presumably from that class in the knitting store!

[@agentleadornment]

ahh, that's funny that you noticed that! My initial tendency when I started had been to throw the yarn with my right hand but I decided to switch to continental when I was still pretty awkward so it didn't slow me down much... things were already pretty slow going back then :)

[@skispinner]

My Arconia Sweater, yarn is Kenzie by Hikoo. I loved the colorwork and it fits so nice. I can’t figure out where you live but it must be cold for all the wooly yarn you choose. Beautiful pieces and knitting. Enjoyed your podcast.

[@agentleadornment]

Ohhh, this pattern looks so timeless and classy! I'm not familiar with this yarn but looked it up online and it seems my local yarn shop carries it. I'll have to seek it out for a squish next time I'm there :)

[@lauraferguson2636]

I Just purchased the Moorland pattern, inspired by your version. I too want to modify it to a pullover, can you tell how you made that modification? Should the front and back stitch count be the same? I get that the steeked stitches are omitted, but that still leaves the front panel with more stitches than the back. Any feedback would be gratefully appreciated😊

[@elenabeyers2088]

You are welcome

[@vickifenlon2235]

The yarn store in your intro looks like my local-ish store in Dublin

[@agentleadornment]

Oh Vicki, you're right, that store is in Dublin! This is the trip my mom and I took together over the summer. What a beautiful place to live

[@deb7844]

my favorite yarn is unspun plutulopi. I have not used nutiden. My favorite thing I've knitted is the hiedra headband but I'm going to make the bakka shawl. I love Laerka's (Fiber Tales) aesthetic and I love Icelandic wool. I'm surrounded by nature and it inspires me.

[@agentleadornment]

I just picked up two plates of Plotulopi this morning at the yarn store... your comment feels serendipitous. :) And I love Laerka's designs as well, I bet your shawl will be beautiful

[@urbanjunglegt]

🍀🦋

[@kuianderson965]

Too slow explaining

[@MusReh]

Wow! There always has to be that one person on a brand new podcasters 1st episode to put them down and make harsh points. How about giving some positive encouragement or is kindness just too much to ask?