#1 Reason Why Living Together Before Marriage Will Hurt Your Relationship

Elizabeth unfolds Why Living Together Before Marriage Will Hurt Your Relationship from multiple angles hoping you'll be able to make a more mindful decision when considering cohabitation.
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[@sethapex9670]

I just told a coworker today that my fiance and I are not cohabitating before we get married. He asked why. I simply told him that traditionally people did not do so and we are very traditional people.

[@VincenzoRutiglianoDiaz]

I use this one a lot

[@CL-do5eq]

I like that explanation and I will use this.

[@abjasso]

I think getting married is such a big, wonderful, and the most precious gift a man can give to her girlfriend. Saying "What I own is yours" is a strong proof of his love for her. Plus, saying, "nothing will pull us apart 'till death," is saying I'm serious about it.

[@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute]

Indeed, It is a precious gift! Both couples give themselves to one another.

[@carlaalegria3658]

I was dating a guy for a couple of months and I didn't need to live with him to realize we weren't a good fit, you just have to pay attention to their lifestyle and habits at home, and make the hard questions. I've met couples that are still together even without having kids after 20 years of marriage who happened to live together before (non religious), I think it makes a difference for how long the couple lives together and the perception they have on marriage, if it's more than 1 or 2 years it's more likely to fail, same as those couples that dated for almost a decade before marrying.

[@CL-do5eq]

You are correct. I like the way you worded everything.

[@delgadoj2]

I don't normally comment, but this deserved a comment. Thank you for sharing, and not holding back. I always love that you bring your baby when necessary :-) I have 4 daughters and miss those precious times. Back to the reason I'm commenting: You shared in a very charitable, very true, bold, wise and loving way. It felt like sister to sister chat. I'm saving this video for whenever I need to talk to a younger cousin or maybe later my own kids. I feel this deeply and agree whole heartedly because I was that young person living together with my now husband. We're going on 11 years happily married but I can't say that all my friends that did the same thing we did (co-habitate) made it this far or even to the wedding day. I can only speak for myself, there are things I didn't realize I was accepting from him, and vis versa that he accepted from me, just for the simple fact that we lived together before marriage and those things aren't really related to a healthy marriage, or even who we truly wanted to be as husband and wife. Like were we just putting on a good face, "playing house" as my mom would tell me. It takes a lot of patience, a lot of personal prayer and working together to grow from the place we were and to where we are now. And we both talk about how we want to improve, still! So many things you pointed to I agree with 100% And this is the first time I've heard anyone talk about it in a bold way, non-judgmental, etc. Probably bc people walk on eggshells on the topic when I'm around. (A part 2 on how to root out those bad seeds might be interesting to watch, by the way 🙂) Thank you again for creating this content and posting!

[@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute]

We're so glad it blessed you! Pray for us, please.

[@anitaklara7428]

Execellent video! Thank you for telling the truth! Actually Jordan Peterson talks about harms of living together before marriage but you did it even better, fuller so to speak!

[@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute]

Thanks for watching!

[@anitaklara7428]

@@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute you are doing an amazing job with all your videos! I will share them for sure! Don’t get ever discouraged! You are helping me as a parent to share a good news about God’s beautiful plan for our life!

[@christophergreen3809]

Young people (and old) need to hear this message! Thanks for your boldness! BTW, that baby must be a good sleeper!

[@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute]

We're glad it blessed you! And indeed, Baby Blaise is a good sleeper, at least while he's in the studio.

[@CL-do5eq]

DV surviver here 👁️. I’m just going to say it. All of the wise people were right. You would think it brings you closer to marriage and actually brings you further away in my opinion. You are living together with a different type of foundation vs the foundation of valuing each other more and waiting till marriage. God & numbers don’t lie. You increase the chances of having children out of wedlock. Can you don’t need to live with someone to fully know them. With God, wise counsel, prayer, proper communication with each other can show you what you can expect. You can also visit each other’s places (no intimacy) . You can learn how clean they are and talk about how important cleanliness is to you without moving in.

[@Beanie1879]

I 100% agree. I do think 1 reason why people move in before marriage is because they are either not in a place or unable to have a deep conversation about values, boundaries, and definition of the person. I heard of the term "merging" which happens between people who either rush, or settle & repress their differences.

[@azzz7279]

living or not living with your partner & not being married is a personal choice. But I disagree with the “you don’t know someone until you live with them” statement. Peoples true colors show overtime, and if you spend the night at your partner’s house/apartment/condo, you get a glimpse of how they take care of their house and their habits. Seeing how they treat the waiter also shows if they are polite & respectful, and you can see how they deal with stress by going on a vacation together, getting stuck in traffic, and going on a road trip

[@armandokintanar7786]

One is an immoral choice.

[@LongAwaitedBaby]

There is a German footballer who was with his girlfriend for many years and they were living together. Then he broke up with her and married another girl. I feel so sad for the ex-girlfriend.

[@katherinebrumley7794]

I think all those things (tidy or messy, etc) are the fun things to learn in a marriage.

[@douglaidlaw740]

Leaving religion out of it, an article pointed out that couples who live together before marriage are still courting. The exit door is still open. Marriage closes the door, and that freedom is lost. It has been suggested that couples cannot handle the change. I listened to an account of a custom where there is no sex for the first fortnight; the couples use that time to get to know one another. Statistically, couples who jump into marriage with both feet have stronger marriages, and are less likely to divorce. Our parents would have been shocked if we had lived together: our marriage is now in its 52nd year.

[@HenrySimmons1225]

Yeahhh buddy, that's switched around if you just marry someone you barely know, that's a verrryy high chance for divorce. If you marry someone you've lived with, and you know who they are very well, that's a marriage that'll most likely last forever. Marrying some random person will only work out 0.1% of the time.

[@josephcamacholopez]

Great video, thanks!

[@meanoldbag]

please pray for 2 of my. kids who are currently living with their boyfreind/girlfreind - it breaks my heart and all I can do is pray - their dad and I have expressed our concern and sadness but it's not our decision. One of them is marrying in a few months but in my heart the co-habitation has diluted the joy of the upcoming wedding because they already live together and go on trips and all the stuffs.... to make it worse my husband of 33 years and I lived together for 2 months before our wedding so my kids just call us hypocrites. I SO wish we wouldn't have - ugh :(

[@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute]

Count on our prayers for your family! There's always hope for healing.

[@eeaotly]

I have never started smoking because an old smoker told me not to. I didn't called her hypocrite. I called her experienced.

[@pat2not]

It breaks your heart that they are happy? How sad of you

[@meanoldbag]

@@pat2not Hello Pat - It breaks my heart because they are knowingly living in sin and yet choose to ignore it. God's plan for us both protects and comforts man and woman. My daughter especially knows it's not right and talks more and more about wanting to just marry this man. My sadness and frustration are due to my unending love for my children and my deep desire they join our Lord in heaven. Fornication does not exclude them from paradise with our Lord but it's not the lane to strive toward.

[@mirrielleachu3231]

​@@pat2notit look like u have no Christian life. so u really cant and will never understand the religion aspect of things.

[@dalilaarmendariz7162]

This is explained so well!! Thank you.

[@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute]

We're glad it was helpful!

[@abeatingheart]

Great talk, Thank you!

[@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute]

Glad it was helpful!

[@enriqueklein5458]

Please do follow up videos on this!

[@adamedelroughton6230]

Very beautifully and charitably put, and with so much clarity. Really enjoyed listening, thanks Elizabeth!

[@mugennsx]

While I agree with everything you say, now people also do not hold the marriage vow highly. It is just an agreement that can be broken anytime.

[@Nithinithinith]

Better to test drive and know it isn’t for you instead of buying and then you are stuck. Divorce is more expensive than a moving company.

[@scaldon2]

Still wrong to live together before marriage. All tge data backs that up

[@zariahstar858]

Hello. Love your contents. I want to ask. Is if ok as female to leave with a male friend?

[@hrprican87]

Could you talk about this same topic but how it relates to non-married couples with small children engaged to be married?

[@user-qc5wi6yg7i]

What would you say to a recently converted secularly married couple? Move away from each other before baptism and con validation?

[@lisapitts9518]

If a woman is on disability and gets married, she looses her income. In todays economy both incomes are needed.

[@claudiacaprin4904]

As this is not the way to determine if a person is right for you, how does one go about gauging if a person is the right one to marry? Like what are the key points or questions that have to be answered for a positive discernment🙏?

[@Isaiah-me4ic]

It seems like you just “guess” lmao

[@tonikallioinen6969]

And don't understand people who doesn't share everything including living together before making (possibility) live long commitment.

[@hadiitiniguez2393]

My only advice is to have an exit plan.

[@stever507]

How bout being married but not living together? Just spending time together everyday. Anyone have experience with that ?

[@LongAwaitedBaby]

I am from Singapore, and more and more Singaporeans want to adopt the Western culture of living together before marriage. But does cohabiting improve marriages?

[@elenarewd9299]

If living together was so effective, the divorce rate would not be so high. Clearly that’s not the case. 70% of married couples live together before marriage….our divorce rate is still 50%, so something is not adding up.

[@nexstbob6911]

Oh yes marriage is great I’m just gonna have 18 wives like David in the Bible or 700 likes Solomon 🗿

[@kylealandercivilianname2954]

In todays economy marriage is a luxury

[@TheZombiesEatOreos]

On what bases? If ur talking about the ceremony, there is an increase of elopement happening than ever b4. To say marriage is for the rich is like saying I cant be happy because happiness is too expensive.

[@kylealandercivilianname2954]

​@@TheZombiesEatOreoshousing and healthcare and you know everything else. The cost of living has gone up while wages are stagnant. And it makes no sense to get married unless you are financially stable...which most people are not. So yes marriage is for the rich and poor people will just have to suck it up it seems 😢

[@user-qc5wi6yg7i]

You can’t “elope” in the church.

[@vaskaventi6840]

@@kylealandercivilianname2954 Why wait until financially stable for marriage? Assuming you don't opt for an expensive ceremony, wouldn't it allow you to share utilities and experience tax benefits? It's not like either party would necessarily stop working as soon as they say "I do"

[@carlaalegria3658]

It's definitely the opposite, and there's have been single people complaining about the "couple privilege" and how it's easier to live with 2 incomes or how a couple has more chances to get a mortgage or a loan approved, because people who are married are perceived as more stable and reliable, as someone who might be single and traveling all over the world without even committing to a leasing property for a couple of months.

[@nonobrobro3310]

Thanks for tackling these tough topics. This culture is going in the wrong direction

[@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute]

Thank you for watching!

[@2l84me8]

Actually the opposite is true. Most people get married before realizing they’re sexually incompatible with one another and the marriage suffers as a whole.

[@jocelyncao9233]

Sex=/living together

[@2l84me8]

@@DiscipleDave Sexless partners often fail down the long run.

[@2l84me8]

@@DiscipleDave It’s still a sexless marriage either way.

[@2l84me8]

@@DiscipleDave There’s plenty of examples of couples splitting up and cheating on their partners. You’re the one with a narrative to push here.

[@2l84me8]

@@DiscipleDave I was on topic this entire time. Sexless couples are more likely to cheat on their spouses with someone who will provide it for them, making your assertions regarding marriages even more untrue. You accuse me of being immature with that “college student” claim of yours, yet you’re the one with the imaginary friend you call jesus. I never asked you about what you hallucinate when you’re off your medication.

[@danfarber1321]

Very wonderfully spoken, but what do you mean "give it to Mama Mary"? That's so wrong and dangerous scripturally! Jesus said pray to your Father who is in heaven, not to "My mother".

[@dkonkel1]

It's a colloquial way of asking Mary to purify your intentions and prayers, just as you would ask for anyone to pray for something on your behalf. Except that Mary knows Jesus more than anyone and will make better any prayer we try to cobble together.

[@tinalettieri]

The Catholic Church approves of prayer to Mary. What do you think the Rosary is?

[@danfarber1321]

@@dkonkel1 I am sorry but that sounds awfully dangerous and is completely unbiblical!

[@dkonkel1]

​@danfarber1321 I know what you mean if you are coming from a Scripture Only understanding of Christianity. As Catholics both Scripture and Tradition reveal the fullness of truth. Mary and the Saints have played a major role in the Church for centuries and there are volumes of books recording the mystical ways in which God enables his children to participate with Jesus in the redemption of the world.

[@danfarber1321]

​@@dkonkel1The Catholic church also murdered Jews and forced them to convert and let go of all Jewish identity. Should we also follow that? Jesus said "you make the word of God of no effect because of your traditions". In any case I respect you as a fellow believer but this is almost heresy. Traditions are fine as long as they do not negate Scripture, and this one, certainly does.

[@henrymccarty5059]

We do not live in a culture that, "values sex over everything else". Who told you that lie and why do you repeat it?

[@miriba8608]

Really? You don't see it? Or are you lying?

[@freakidiot7199]

Anybody can get laid, and it's been that way for a long time now! People couldn't careless about who you are as long as you've a cave ready to be explored.

[@amyakins1284]

Have you been living with your eyes shut and your fingers in your ears?

[@TheZombiesEatOreos]

Ima assume ur a guy. Go talk to dudes about their sex life. If they are virgins anymore, do they know anyone that is practicing abstinence. Its a small number. Not to mention the perversion of sex itself with explicit media. Literally kids (maybe middle schoolers or younger) are introduced to pørn at young age.